


Last Exit to Brooklyn

by carmen_085



Category: Third Watch
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:13:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 31
Words: 213,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26433193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carmen_085/pseuds/carmen_085
Summary: After a terrible tragedy changes his life, Bosco goes undercover to find redemption and justice in the most unlikely of places.  Cross posted on Fanfiction.net; Please note this work contains graphic descriptions of the September 11, 2001 Attacks
Relationships: Maurice Boscorelli/Faith Yokas, Maurice Boscorelli/Original Character
Comments: 1
Kudos: 1





	1. Cut you down

"Last Exit to Brooklyn"

Author:carmen_085

Disclaimer: I don't own any Third Watch characters. I do own all original characters appearing in this story

Summary: After a terrible tragedy changes his life, Bosco goes undercover to find redemption and justice in the most unlikely of places

Chapter 1

"Go tell that long tongue liar

Go and tell that midnight rider

Tell the rambler, the gambler, the back biter

Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down"

* * *

-February 2001-

Inhaling a deep breath of steaming coffee, Faith leaned against the hood of her RMP. It was late February in New York and the sun was just about to set. Temperatures had been above normal for the past few days as it was clear that everyone was enjoying the early start of spring. Allowing her shoulders to slump slightly, Faith rolled her neck from side to side. For the past few weeks she had been incredibly stressed. Two weeks ago Fred had found out about the abortion when she accused him of falling off the wagon. Initially she thought that they may not make it, but her and Fred had since made amends and were moving on together. Then there was Bosco. Taking another sip of coffee Faith winced slightly remembering the events of the past few days. When Bosco discovered that his mother's boyfriend beat her up, he was unstoppable in his quest for vengeance. A wave of nausea washed over Faith as she remembered the hate in her partner's eyes that night. Even now she was still extremely unsettled by the whole situation. Bosco was someone that she trusted; he was her friend and confidant. The angry, hateful person that beat that man in the factory was someone she didn't know.

Darkness began to envelope the 55 as streetlights flickered to a dim, dirty glow. Retreating to the comfort of the RMP, Faith was soothed by the familiar sensations around her. The worn seat hugged her body in all the right places as the smell of grease from her fast food dinner filled her nose. Things had been unusually quiet without Bosco around, although, she had to admit that she was beginning to miss him. It was unnerving to be out here alone when she was so used to him watching her back. Sighing, Faith reasoned that she only had two more days before things were back to normal. Absent-mindedly she played with the hem of her jacket as she wondered whether or not Bosco was feeling the same way or if he was happy to have a break from her. Lately, with all the problems she faced with Fred, she worried that she had become somewhat of a burden to him. Every day was a new problem that he didn't need to hear about but always listened to with the same unwavering support. Yeah, Bosco was an asshole sometimes but whether she wanted to admit it or not she depended on him as her partner and as her friend.

"55-David take a call of domestic disturbance at 25672 Lexington Ave at East 96th street, Apartment 2B." The scratchy sound of the dispatcher's voice broke her thoughts abruptly as she let out a groan. She didn't even like dealing with domestics on a good day let alone on a night when she was riding solo. Starting the RMP, she reasoned that she would get there and check it out. If things were bad she would call for back up before even going in; there was no need to take any unnecessary risks.

Twenty minutes later 55-David pulled up to a rundown building on the outer fringes of the precinct. The area was relatively deserted, although, she was able to spot another RMP down the street. Maybe someone was already at the job and she wouldn't have to deal with it. Reaching for her radio, Faith's hopes rose a bit "Central, any other units dispatched to this job?" A slight crackling silence followed as her practiced instincts began cataloguing the environment around her.

"Negative 55-David." Her heart dropped a bit as she slowly swung the car door open. Taking a slow, steady look around she couldn't help but to feel a slithering sense of uneasiness creep down her spine. It was too quiet. Casting a glance at the RMP down the street, she could not find it's occupants anywhere in sight. Perhaps they were on another job in the area. Not putting much more thought into it, Faith apprehensively swung open the broken apartment door before stepping inside. The smell of dirty human beings was instantly all around her. It sounds callous, but there is no other way to label a smell that can only otherwise be described as a mix of dirty socks, corn chips, and a week's worth of body odor all rolled into one. Dirty humans…that's the only way to describe it.

Taking a few steps forward, Faith almost always tried to take as many mental notes as possible whenever she got to a job. You never know what may be useful later on. Being careful where she stepped, she noticed the ornate tile pattern on the floor. This was common in many of the older buildings in New York. Cautiously, she began to ascend the stairs, making sure that each step could support her weight before continuing on. Sometimes these calls were like navigating through an obstacle course. Once she reached the first landing she drew her gun as the sounds angry voices began to drift down from the floor above. The lights on the second floor flickered erratically casting eerie shadows in every corner. Apartment 2B was at the end of the hallway around the corner. As Faith inched closer, she was careful to remain against the wall so that no one could jump her from behind. The doorway to the apartment was partly open as she could see one man kneeling on the floor while another stood over him. Sliding into the corner opposite the doorway, Faith made herself nearly invisible in the shadows. She wanted to get an idea what was going on here before charging on in.

Slowly, Faith pulled her gun to her chest as her heart began pounding loudly against the cool metal of the Glock's barrel. Reaching her arm around the back of her body, she silently switched her radio off. In the dim light of the apartment, she could make out a black man in sweats and a ski cap kneeling on the floor. While he was undoubtedly in a rather compromising position, he didn't seem to be fazed by his current situation. In fact, the upward sneer of his lips suggested an indignant attitude and lack of fear.

Suddenly, a booming voice came from inside the apartment. "Where's the money?"

"I told y'all I gave you everything." Rolling his eyes the man on the floor seemed almost annoyed by his current predicament.

"Kenny, where's the money? I'm not going to ask you again." A dark figure suddenly came into partial view before disappearing again abruptly.

"Is you threatenin' me? Cause I don't play that shit. I'll go on down y'all precinct and blow the lid off your shit!" In one swift motion the dark figure came into full view as he slammed the barrel of his pistol into the other man's forehead. In that moment, Faith's entire world crumbled into a heap of lies and betrayal.

It was a cop. Brian Jackson. She knew him; she had worked on the third watch with him for a few years now. They weren't close but she was definitely acquainted with him and his partner Scott Geidel. Faith's hands around her gun began to shake as the reality of what she had just witnessed began to sink in. Two cops…two cops from her precinct were taking a payoff from a drug dealer. To say that the whole situation was shocking could have been the understatement of the year.

Jackson cocked the hammer of the gun back as he pressed the barrel into his victim's forehead. Surprisingly, the other man did not appear very upset. He continued to stare down Jackson with the same defiant sneer. "Do it. I dare you to do it." His word came out threatening and confident, sure that his captor would not have the will to follow through. Then, just as the tensions in the room reached a peak, Geidel appeared next to his partner.

"Hey, Jackson, let's just calm down and not do anything stupid." Geidel placed a hand on Jackson's stiff arm trying to get him to back down. Jackson's shoulders slumped a bit, as he reluctantly replaced his firearm back into the holster.

"Yeah that's right you pussy ass bitch. Can't make your own money so you gots to steal mine…" Before he could continue, Jackson was on the floor pummeling the defiant man with his fists. Somewhere in the melee a stack of hundred dollar bills fell out from underneath the dealer's sweatshirt onto the floor. Immediately upon, seeing this Jackson ceased beating the man and grabbed the money. Riffling a finger through, he estimated at least ten thousand dollars.

"You lied to me Kenny." Shaking his head, a look of disgust crossed the cop's face. To an outsider it would appear as if his best friend had just made the ultimate betrayal. "I don't like liars, Kenny." Pacing back and forth, Jackson appeared to be thinking things over.

In the hallway, Faith tried her best to control herself. Drawing in another ragged breath, her pounding heart begged for more oxygen while her terrified brain prevented her from making a sound. She couldn't believe that this was happening. "You know what, Kenny, just get out of here." The man on the floor slowly rose to his knees. Taking a few steps toward the door, he abruptly turned toward Jackson.

"Gimme my money back." This guy had balls; Faith would give him that, but, God was he stupid. For a moment Kenny and Jackson were locked in an intense stare. Kenny, perhaps, wondering if he had pushed it too far this time; Jackson, on the other hand, wondering how far he should take it.

Eyes narrowed, Jackson gave Kenny a slight nod before handing the stack of cash back to him. Kenny had barely taken one step toward the door when Jackson's voice stopped him dead in his tracks.

"You know on second thought…." Pulling his gun in one swift motion, Faith barely had time to react before the bone chilling crack of the Glock filled her senses. Blood instantly spurted from Kenny's chest as he stumbled back into the apartment eventually falling near Jackson's feet. Gasping for air, he stared up at the man who had just murdered him. Faith watched in shock as his body convulsed with agony before becoming limp. The stack of cash still clenched tightly in his hand now fell into the growing pool of blood.

Faith's brain struggled to keep up with what was going on around her. This was so far beyond anything that she ever could have imagined. In the span of less than ten minutes she had not only discovered that two of her colleagues were dirty but also witnessed them commit murder. She needed to get out of there before they saw her. Sliding against the wall, Faith turned the corner and quietly began to descend the stairs. In the darkness, however, she neglected to see the broken step. In the blink of an eye, she was tumbling down the stairs.

Upstairs, Jackson and Geidel were hustling to pack up all the money and drugs in sight when a sudden commotion came from the hallway. Drawing his gun, Jackson lept over Kenny's lifeless body and into the hallway.

The terror that filled Faith at that moment was unreal. Scrambling to her feet, she hurried down to the door. Leaning against, the banister upstairs, Jackson barely made out a wisp of blonde hair before the front door slammed shut. Someone had been there in the hallway. They had seen him kill Kenny. Running back into the apartment, Jackson carefully parted the dirty broken blinds on the street side windows. Nothing. The street was quiet. Craning his neck, he could barely make out an RMP speeding through the stop sign at the end of the street. Although nothing about this overtly grabbed his attention, a sense of trouble began to fill the room.

"55-George to Central." Across the room, Geidel looked at his partner with mild concern.

"Go ahead, George."

"Are there any active jobs in the area of Lexington and East 96th street?" Jackson knew that it was a long shot, but if another cop had seen him commit murder he wanted to know about it.

"There is a call of domestic disturbance at 25672 Lexington Ave." A mix of anger and fear slowly began to build inside of him as he hesitantly asked his next question. "Any units dispatched to that call, Central?"

"55-David currently the only unit responding." Jackson's heart skipped a beat. Yokas, it was Faith Yokas in the hallway.

Faith pulled her RMP into the precinct a little after eleven. Needless to say, she was still a wreck over everything that had happened. She could only now hope that neither Jackson nor Geidel had seen her. If they had, she would surely fall to the same fate as Kenny. Gathering up her stuff, she paused for a moment when she saw 55-George pull into the station. Her breath caught in her throat as she watched Geidel and Jackson walk into the house somewhat nonchalantly. Although she was terrified of what they may do to her; Faith was sick at the thought of them getting away with it.

A knock at the window nearly caused her to jump right out of the car. Faith breathed a slight sigh of relief when she saw Davis outside her window. Rolling the window down, she offered her coworker a strained smile. "Hey, Faith, sorry to scare you."

Shaking her head she replied, "No, I'm ok Ty." Starting toward the house, he expected her to follow and was surprised when he turned and saw her still sitting in the RMP.

"Are you coming?" Faith once again appeared lost in thought as Davis mistook her inattention for yearned to have Bosco back. "What? Are you wishing Bosco was back?"

Faith brain was on overload but she managed a small laugh for Davis, " No…No I've been enjoying the quiet." What a lie. She missed Bosco and she needed him right now more than ever. Reluctantly getting out of the car, she nearly tripped over her own two feet when she saw Jackson and Geidel leaving the house. Over his shoulder, Jackson threw a glance in her direction before continuing on with his partner. There wasn't anything particularly unsettling or menacing about it, just an acknowledgement of her presence. He probably had no idea why she was staring at him like such an idiot right now. Shaking it off, Faith knew that she had to get the hell out of there before she made herself look like a fool.

Bosco lived about two subway stops away from her in the northwest corner of the precinct. After the shift, Faith returned home only to find everyone sound asleep. Laying down on the couch for a short time, she eventually realized that her efforts were useless. She needed to talk to someone about what had happened. Grabbing her coat and keys, she headed out in the cold New York night. Normally, she would take the 6 Train but tonight she wanted to walk. She needed time to decide what to say. Part of Faith just wanted to blurt everything out; it would be such a relief. Another part of her knew that she should be careful how she phrased things. Bosco wasn't always the most tactful and she didn't want him to go blurting something out to the wrong person. Hugging her jacket to her body, Faith watched as her reflections floated from one darkened store window to the next. She looked tired and afraid.

Rounding the corner, she let herself into the front door with the key that Bosco had given her. As she walked up the stairs her heart was pounding; it was now or never. Raising a hand, Faith knocked loudly on Bosco's door. She leaned in toward the doorframe listening carefully for any sounds. Silence. Raising a hand she knocked again. "Bosco, It's Faith." Still, she heard nothing but silence. Backing away from the door a little, Faith couldn't help but to feel somewhat betrayed. Although he had no idea she was coming over, she nonetheless expected him to be there. It was unreasonable, she realized that, but he was always there for her. Feeling dejected, she turned and descended the stairs all the while keeping an eye on apartment 4B hoping that the door would suddenly open. Sighing, Faith realized that she would have to deal with this alone.

Above Lyrics are from Johnny Cash's "God's Gonna Cut You Down"


	2. Running Blind

"Last Exit to Brooklyn"

Author: carmen_085

Disclaimer: I don't own any Third Watch character. I do own all original characters.

Summary: After a terrible tragedy changes his life, Bosco goes undercover in search of redemption and justice in the most unlikely of places

Chapter Two

"Can't find the answers

I've been crawlin' on my knees

Lookin' for anything to keep me from drowning

Promises have been turned to lies

Can't even be honest inside"

* * *

Leaning against the kitchen windowsill, Faith watched as the sun rose over the city. Needless to say she hadn't slept very well last night. She must have picked up the phone at least ten times, dialed Bosco's number, and then hung up before it started ringing. She was a little embarrassed about what happened last night. While her reasonable side said that he probably just wasn't home, another part of her thought that maybe he had been there with a girl and just chose to ignore her frantic knocking. Either way, she didn't want to be more of bother to him than she already was. Sighing loudly, Faith had contemplated calling off today. That wouldn't solve anything, though, and she certainly didn't want Geidel and Jackson paying her a visit at home if they had any business to settle. Really, for all Faith knew they had no idea she was even there. She could be making herself crazy for nothing.

"Faith…You're up early." Fred appeared in the kitchen clad only in a pair of boxers. Reaching into the refrigerator, he pulled the milk out and drank straight from the carton.

"Yeah, I couldn't sleep." Coming toward her, Fred started rubbing her shoulders as the gears in his brain kicked into action. Surely, he might be thinking that she was hiding something else from him given the recent revelations about the abortion. "I'm fine, really Fred."

She didn't sound convincing but she hoped that he wouldn't push it any further. "Is something wrong at work?" Instantly, Faith became tense. Inwardly she thought, 'Oh Fred…You have no idea'. Outwardly, she offered a slight smile and a weak attempt to pass this whole situation off.

"No, Fred. I'm just a little stressed about working alone. You know with Bosco being out on suspension and all." It was full of holes, but she hoped that he would buy it and move along. Although he was her husband, Fred was, perhaps, the last person that she wanted to tell about this. Undoubtedly, he would go nuts if he thought that her safety in was jeopardy. Silently snorting, she could see him dragging her all the way to IAB. Fred didn't understand her job and he probably never would. When the stakes were high like this, sometimes the right thing to do wasn't always the right thing to do. Above the danger and the fear and the uncertainty, the thing that bothered her about this most was the idea that she may potentially have to let them get away with it. That the best thing to do here might be to keep her mouth shut and let them walk away. Pretend that she never saw anything, and go on like that man bleeding to death on the floor didn't matter. Like he was an animal who could die for reasons no better than another man's greed. It made her sick. They should be put in jail with all the other criminals. However, if she had to put her family and friends in danger to do that, it would not be worth it. Faith had no idea how far this web of corruption extended not only into the street but also the police department.

Fred stared at her incredulously, "Faith, did you hear what I just said?"

Shaking her head, Faith snapped back to reality, "No, I'm sorry."

"I said, maybe that's your problem right there…Bosco. He's nothing but trouble, always dragging you into his problems…" Fred continued to bitch about his favorite topic, as Faith felt no need to stop him. At least, he wasn't probing into anything she didn't want to answer. Falling back into her own world of thought, Faith pretended to be listening to her husband as she offered a weak smile. If only he knew just how messed up things really were.

* * *

Squinting, Bosco attempted to shield his tired eyes from the rising winter sun. A pink glow bathed the street in a serene, warm ambiance although the day was anything but that. Jamming his hands further down into his pockets, Bosco tried desperately to keep the chill out. He was tired and cold and just wanted to get home to his warm bed. After drinking himself into oblivion at his Ma's bar, Bosco spent most of the night rambling to her about everything that was wrong with his life. This morning he woke up on her couch in Bensonhurst with no idea how he got there. Rubbing his forehead, Bosco felt a wave of nausea come over him. He drank way too much last night that was for sure.

Closing his building door behind him, Bosco slowly trudged up the same stairs that his partner had only a few hours ago. Entering his apartment, he began to remove his clothing as he left it fall on the floor behind him. Breathing a sigh of relief, he finally collapsed into bed. Pulling the covers up over his head, he attempted to shield the daylight from his throbbing temples. Everything was so messed up right now but he needed to get it together before he went back to work tomorrow. He was almost glad to be getting back into a routine. The last few days on suspension were pretty bad. He had so much time to think about what had happened and his decisions were beginning to wreak havoc on his fragile psyche. Surprisingly, he wasn't all that sorry for beating his mother's boyfriend. It was coming to him. What he was sorry about was that he drug Faith into the situation when she had nothing to do with it. The last thing he wanted was for her to get in trouble over his bad decisions.

Rolling over, Bosco willed sleep to come to him although his brain was wide-awake and firing on all cylinders. He wondered what Faith had been doing these past few days without him. He wondered if there were any good calls or if things were quiet and she spent most of the shift sitting under the highway in their RMP. Either way, whether he wanted to admit it or not, he was worried about her out there without him. It wasn't because he didn't think she could handle herself, he just knew how fast something bad can happen. Rolling over again, Bosco didn't like feeling helpless. Out there on the street he could do something, but here at home he was useless to his partner. Sighing, it was only one more day and then things would be back to normal.

* * *

When Faith arrived at work, the first thing she did was check the assignments. Much to her relief, Jackson and Geidel were off that day. She also saw that the Lieutenant had her riding alone yet again. After last night, she wished that she were riding with someone else if for no other reason than to keep her mind off this whole mess. Sighing, Faith reasoned that it was only one more day and then Bosco would be back.

Much to Faith's delight, the first half of her shift passed without incident. Glancing down at her watch it was almost seven pm. Radioing dispatch, Faith asked permission to take her meal. Twenty minutes later she pulled up in front of her favorite Chinese restaurant in the precinct. She felt a little hopeful when she saw 55-Charlie parked on the opposite side of the street. It would be nice to have some company as well as a break from the war raging inside her head.

"Hey Faith!" Davis called her name from a table in the corner as he waved his long arm to ensure that she had spotted him. A slight smile broke out over her face as the familiar sights and sounds of Mr. Kim's Chinese Delight hugged her body with a sense of comfort. Pulling up a chair next to Davis, Sully also acknowledged her with a nod of the head. "So what's up, Faith? How many more days until Bosco's back?"

Before she could answer, Sully chimed in with a snorting laugh, "Not enough!" Davis let out a short laugh as Faith could only nod her head with a wry smile. Although she would never admit it, she couldn't wait until Bosco came back to work.

"He's back tomorrow," Faith scanned the menu quickly although she already knew what she wanted. After the waitress left, Faith turned back toward her colleagues.

Sully shook his head. "After today, no more peace and quiet." Faith smiled at him, if only he knew how right he was. The three continued to make small talk about work until their food came. Eagerly shoveling away forkfuls of her favorite Walnut chicken, Faith hoped that she would be able to finish before central interrupted her temporary happiness with a call.

Excusing himself to the bathroom, Davis left Sully and Faith alone at the table. Sitting back, Faith started at her empty plate as she contemplated what she was about to do.

"Sully, can I ask you a question?" Putting his fork down, Sully wiped his mouth before regarding Faith with a sense of curiosity. He thought that something might be going on with her. Last night after the shift when he and Davis passed her sitting in the RMP she definitely looked rattled.

"Sure, Faith." Pushing his own plate away, Sully leaned back as he waited for her to continue.

Faith appeared to be choosing her words carefully until she shook her head and just blurted it out, "What would you do if you thought someone was dirty?"

Out of all the things that she could have potentially asked him at the moment, that was definitely the last thing he ever expected to hear. Taken somewhat aback, Sully took a moment to respond. "Well, um…Wait a minute, Faith. Are you in some kind of trouble here? Because if you are then we need to tell the boss." Sully leaned forward, his face contorted with a mix of confusion and concern.

Faith shook her head briskly. The last thing that she wanted to do was take this to the boss. Jackson killed Kenny because he was skimming; what the hell would he do to her? She had seen enough to launch an IAB investigation that would no doubt land him and his partner in jail for life. Seeing Davis, return from the bathroom Faith abruptly discontinued her line of questioning. "Never mind, Sully. It's nothing." Then just as if on cue, Faith's radio crackled to life.

"55-David take a call of MVA with multiples at Madison and East 103rd st." Standing up, Faith shot Sully a look that told him to drop it just as Davis arrived back at the table. Bidding a quick farewell, Faith hurried out the door. For a moment, Sully stared after her wondering what could have possibly prompted her question. He only hoped that whatever it was, Faith didn't try to handle it on her own.

When Faith rolled up to the scene of the accident, she saw three cars all smashed together in the intersection with several hysterical passer bys attempting to offer their help. Grabbing her flashlight she methodically began checking each car as she radioed for back up. This was bad, she needed FD, at least two buses, and another couple RMPs to help direct traffic also wouldn't hurt. Before Faith was even able to approach the first car, she found its occupant laying facedown on the pavement motionless. The man appeared to be in his early twenties, he was wearing jeans and a gray sweatshirt that was rapidly turning a deep shade of crimson. Faith grimaced as she pulled on a pair of latex gloves. Slowly bending down, she could feel her heart rate quicken as she carefully turned the victim over. Stumbling, she fell onto her backside as a horrified gasp escaped her lips. From the eyebrows to the chin, the young man's face was gone; scraped away when he skidded along the pavement. His arms were bent in an unnatural fashion as Faith simultaneously noted his right femur protruding through his jeans. With a shaking hand she reached down and attempted to feel for a pulse. Her fingers slipped in bloody mess as they sunk into a soft, mushy spot on his neck. Retracting her hand instantly, Faith was far too disgusted by the whole scene to probe any further. He was dead; there was no need to take it any further. Rising to her feet, Faith shook her head as she attempted to erase the horrifying image from her mind. Continuing on to the next car, Faith threw one last glance back toward the body lying on the ground. She wondered who that young man was or who he was trying to be. She wondered if he had a mother or girlfriend or wife that was waiting for him to come home. He wouldn't be going home though; not now and not ever.

As Faith pushed ahead to check the second car, she was thoroughly unnerved by the scene around her. Steam rose from under several car hoods, as a hissing sound permeated her ears. A few civilians remained at the scene, attempting to help, and a siren echoed in the distance. There were no screams of help, there was no crying or wailing, and in fact there was hardly a human sound at all. The realization of this hit Faith hard, as it dawned her that there may not be any survivors. Crawling onto the hood of the second car, Faith was surprised to see a set of eyes staring straight back at her. An elderly woman's face was pressed up against the windshield of what looked to at one time been an Oldsmobile of some sort. Her hands were pressed up against the starred windshield as if trying to avoid her inevitable fate. The old woman's face was bloodied and her neck was contorted almost one hundred eight degrees from its natural position. Her eyes stared back at Faith in frozen terror. This woman should have died in her bed, comfortable and happy, not like this. Not alone and afraid smashed up against her windshield on a cold winter night.

Taking a few steps back from the old woman's car, Faith struggled to keep her composure. This was one of the most gruesome accident scenes that she had ever responded to, and given the stress that she was already under she suddenly found herself on the verge of a breakdown. Then, suddenly, above the hissing and the sirens she heard a faint cry. Climbing over the old woman's car, Faith slid onto the hood of a red hatchback whose driver was face down in the passenger seat. Shining her light into the backseat she was met with set of glassy blue eyes. Tears ran down two fat, adorable little cheeks as the infant screamed with all his might. Thoroughly shocked, Faith tried to pry the back door open to no avail. Without thinking twice, she whipped out her nightstick and smashed the passenger window out. Reaching her hand into the front seat she checked the mother for a pulse. There was nothing. The woman's dusky gray hand hung limply at her side as her torso appeared to be getting yanked in opposite directions. Faith back up was still at least two minutes away as the mysterious hissing began to get louder. Peering into the backseat, she knew that she had to do something. The baby reached out toward her as his screams only intensified. Looking around, she knew that she was this kid's only hope. Carefully Faith hoisted herself into the car through the passenger side window. Her waist acted like a fulcrum on the shattered glass as her upper body balanced above the dead body below her. Reaching as far as she could, her fingers barely touched the straps of the car seat. She would need to get further inside if she wanted to release the straps. Glancing down at the mother's body, she knew what she had to do. Lowering one knee inside the car, she felt her leg come in contact with the dead woman's back. The crunch of broken bones rattled every fiber of her being as the pressure of her knee caused further damage to the broken body beneath her. Outside, Faith heard the whoosh of flames igniting underneath the car as the inside began to fill with thick smoke. Holding a penlight between her teeth, Faith's shaking hands fumbled with the car seat straps as the baby began to cough and sputter on the smoke. The situation was rapidly deteriorating inside the car, as her fingers finally clicked the latch open. Grabbing the child underneath the arms, Faith wiggled her body back toward the window. The pen light fell inside the car, as Faith choked on the smoke all the while trying to keep a firm grasp on the struggling child in her arms. Then suddenly, just as she was beginning to think that she had made a mistake a pair of hands grabbed her around the waist and pulled her back out of the window. Glass scraped her hands and the side of her face as she did everything in her power to protect the baby. The man guided her away from the car and toward the curb. Looking up for the first time, she realized that it was Bobby.

"Yokas! Jesus ! Are you alright?" Pushing her down the street, she attempted to regain her bearings as Bobby hustled her away from the burning car. "We gotta get out of here!" Faith coughed as she hugged the baby tightly to her chest. She was in a daze as she ran next to Bobby down the street. She watched as he yelled at people get away and stay away. Turning her head, Faith saw Kim vault over the hood of 55-David just as the car she was in only moments ago exploded with a cataclysmic force. Fire shot into the sky, as Bobby pulled her down next to him behind a parked car. The baby in her arms continued to cry hysterically as her shaking hands protected his bald little head. Leaving her behind the car, Bobby rushed over to check on Kim. Faith's eyes flickered in their direction, as she was relieved to see that her RMP had protected Kim from the force of the blast. Staring at the child in her arms, Faith was amazed that she had done something so miraculous. If she hadn't taken a risk and crawled into that car, the beautiful baby in her arms would be dead right now, and she would have had to live with the image of his tear stained face for the rest of her life. Turning back to the fiery wreckage, Faith felt a wave of sickness wash over her as she also realized that the child she was holding might very well be an orphan right now. Walking shakily over to the ambulance, Faith handed the baby to Kim before sitting down on the bumper. Staring at the wreckage she contemplated all that had happened and all that might have happened.

It was almost eleven thirty when Faith left the house. Walking slowly toward the subway station, she was conflicted with a mix of emotions. On one hand she felt amazing about saving that little boy. Both Bobby and Kim could not believe what she had done. Even Jimmy Doherty had to admit that it was the one of the best saves he had ever seen. Thankfully, the social worker at the hospital was able to find the boy's father as they were planning to reunite them later that night. Dark shadows began creeping into her stream of consciousness as her thoughts shifted to other, less joyous affairs. Grimacing, she thought of the young man with no face who would never come home, and the old woman who should have died surrounded by her family, and, of course, the baby's mother whose body crunched under her weight like winter's first snowfall. It was gruesome and upsetting and no matter how hard she tried she couldn't think of much else. Then, suddenly, Brian Jackson's face flashed in her memory. His fist clenched around the butt of the glock as he pressed the barrel firmly into his victim's skull. The casualness of the way he committed murder disturbed her on a level so deep that she knew it would gnaw away at her forever. She still hadn't come up with any good solutions for that problem. She reasoned that tomorrow she would talk to Bosco and see what he thought. He had a big mouth and that worried her, but she needed to tell someone. She couldn't figure this out on her own.

Faith was lost in thought and admittedly not on guard as she passed a row of abandoned buildings about two blocks from the precinct. Out of the shadows, a stealthy figure slowly walked up behind her. In one swift motion the man pulled her away from the safety of the street and into the walkway between two decrepit brick buildings. His arm was around her throat as he drug her backwards further into the darkness. Struggled to get free, Faith gasped for air as the man tightened his chokehold around her neck. Her feet resisted as he manhandled her down a narrow set of stairs. The walls of the building began to close in as her vision became very blurry. Turning, the man released his hold as she stumbled down three or four steps before hitting the concrete with an agonizing thud. Faith's senses slowly began to realize that the cold sensation against her temple was the barrel of a gun. Cocking the hammer back, the man leaned in close to her ear.

"You didn't see anything last night so don't say anything." Although the darkness prevented her from seeing her captor, her ears immediately recognized Jackson's voice. She was terrified. She wanted to scream or cry or hide but there was nowhere to go. He had her trapped. Letting out a slight whimper, she wondered if her life would end like this. If her husband and her kids and her partner would need to live the rest of their lives knowing that her body was found in a filthy crevice with blood and brain splattered everywhere. Leaning in again, Faith could feel his hot breath on the side of her neck. "If you open your mouth I'll kill you and Boscorelli." Removing the gun from her temple, Jackson shoved it into this waistband. Standing over her, he took a cigarette out and lit it. She waited in terror, as he appeared to be thinking something over. Oh God, he was going to kill her anyway, just like Kenny. Staring down at her, he let out a snorting laugh before walking off toward the alleyway. Faith lay there for a moment, her heart pounding out of control. Tears ran down her cheeks as she realized that her life would never be the same

Lyrics are from Godsmack's "Running Blind"

Please review! I love to know what people think !


	3. Lightning Crashes

"Last Exit to Brooklyn"

Author: carmen_085

Disclaimer: I don't own any Third Watch characters. I do own all original characters appearing in this story

Summary: After a terrible tragedy changes his life, Bosco finds redemption and justice in the most unlikely of places

Chapter Three

"Oh, I feel it comin' back again

Like a rolling thunder chasing the wind

Forces pulling from the center of the earth again

I can feel it"

* * *

After struggling to her feet, Faith began walking home slowly. The streets were quiet as the only sound she heard was the scuffling of her shoes on the sidewalk. Reaching up, she carefully fingered her neck where Jackson had all but strangled her. Tears ran down Faith's cheeks as she realized that this situation was never going to get any better. No matter who she told or what she did, Jackson would catch up to her sooner or later. She was becoming keenly aware that she might not make it out of this alive. Faith wiped her eyes with her jacket sleeve. Why did she have to be there and see that? Why not someone else? She had a family that she needed to be there for; she couldn't die yet. It wasn't her fault that she was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Faith was so lost in her own world of self- pity that she almost passed her building up. Silently she hoped that Fred was asleep and not waiting to question her about her terrible day. Faith quietly unlocked the door and peered into her darkened living room. Thankfully, no one was around. Sliding the door closed behind her, she slipped off her shoes and ducked into the bathroom. Leaning in close to the mirror her hand fumbled along the wall for the light switch. Closely inspecting her reflection, Faith ran her index finger over a red mark on her neck. It was barely noticeable and if anyone asked she would just tell them that it happened at that accident. Speaking of which, Faith's attention turned to the scratches that she got on her face when Bobby pulled her back through the broken window. There were a few deep ones on her cheek but it was nothing major. Leaning against the sink, Faith felt an unsettled wave of anxiety crash over her. Something bad was going to happen, she could feel it. Switching off the light, she returned to the living room. Pacing back and forth, a million thoughts raced through her head.

Sitting down on the couch, Faith took out a piece of paper and pencil. On the top she wrote the date, next she wrote Bosco's name. Pausing for a moment, she wondered if she were making things out to be worse than they really were. Shaking her head, Faith remembered the feeling of Jackson's gun against her temple and she knew what she had to do. She had every intention of talking to Bosco tomorrow, but just in case something happened before then she wanted him to know what happened. She wanted him to know that it was one of their own who did this to her. She also wanted him to know how she felt about him and how much he meant to her as a friend and partner. Folding the paper up she sealed it and put it in her bag. Looking around the quiet apartment, Faith knew that there was no way she could sleep. Tiptoeing down the hallway she opened the door to Emily and Charlie's room. She sighed as she watched them sleep; she needed to be there for them. Sliding down the doorway, Faith sat on the floor as tears involuntarily sprung up in her eyes. She needed to be there for her kids; she wasn't ready to die yet. Continuing to sob silently, Faith rested her head on her knees. This couldn't be happening to her.

* * *

Bosco woke up earlier than usual that morning. He was actually excited to get back to work. Really, he was excited to get back in the RMP with Faith. Not only did he miss the companionship, he would also be happier knowing that she was not out on the street alone. Dressing quickly, Bosco glanced at the clock. It was time to go.

When Bosco arrived back at the house, Faith was nowhere in sight. Conversing with a few fellow officers, Bosco looked everywhere for his partner before heading into the locker room to change. Faith arrived at the house only moments later. Hurrying up the stairs, she wanted to get dressed and get out there before Jackson could corner her alone again. As Faith passed by the boss's office, she heard Swersky's voice yell out.

"Hey Faith, could you come in here please?" Freezing dead in her tracks, a sense of dread began to fester in the pit of her stomach. Faith slowly, turned and proceeded back into the office. The Lieutenant was sitting behind his desk and appeared to be quite relaxed. Faith noted that his facial expression did not display any sign of anger or ill will toward her. Swersky gestured for her to take the seat across from him. Hesitantly, Faith eased herself down as she made every effort to avoid eye contact.

"Faith I want you to know that I am putting you in for a commendation based on your efforts to save that little boy last night." A whoosh of air involuntarily escaped from her lips, she was relieved that this wasn't about something else. Faith smiled a little as she remembered last night. Swersky continued on about how grateful the father of that child was to not only her but to the entire department. Faith continued to listen, nodding her head every so often although her thoughts were elsewhere.

Brian Jackson was never late for roll call but today he had gotten stuck in traffic and was all but running to the locker room. For no reason at all, he happened to glance over his right shoulder into Swersky's office. It was Yokas. She was in there with the boss, the door shut, and they were discussing something rather intensely. Swersky's scribbled something on his pad before looking up to meet Jackson's gaze with a look that betrayed no emotion. Instantly, Jackson was convinced that Faith was in there ratting him out to the Lieu. To him, Swersky definitely looked upset about something. In reality, Jackson's paranoid mind was playing tricks on him. When a person is hiding something, they often think that the entire world is out to get them and he was no exception. Shaking his head, rage started to build inside Jackson as he considered what he should do next. He thought that he had scared her into keeping her mouth shut, but he must have been wrong. He needed to do something drastic now.

Faith was a little late to roll call as she slid into a chair in the back just as the Lieutenant was about to begin. Surveying the room, she was relieved to see Bosco sitting a few chairs in front of her. Glancing to her left however, she was met with a rather menacing look from both Jackson and Geidel. Faith snapped her head back toward the front. She needed to do something. There was no way she could live like this forever.

Barely hearing a word that the Lieutenant said, Faith joined Bosco in their RMP approximately 15 minutes later. She was nervous about how to broach the subject but she needed to tell him what happened before Jackson and his partner did something crazy. Settling into the car Bosco was first to open mouth, as usual.

"Man, I am so glad to be back! The last few days were boring me out of my mind. I hope we see some action today." Inwardly Faith groaned, she had seen enough action the past two days to last her a lifetime. Buckling her seatbelt up, Faith immediately began conjuring up the right words for what she was about to tell her partner. Bosco, however, continued to yammer on about how good he felt. For the moment, Faith resigned herself to the passing scenery in their patrol sector. Suddenly, the car was quiet again. Although her head was turned away, she knew that he was staring at her. Turning slowly, Faith met his questioning eyes. Bosco removed his right hand from the steering wheel as he gestured toward the scrapes on her face. "What happened to you?" A shot of fear ran through Faith as she frantically reached for the mirror behind the visor. What was he talking about? She was sure that the mark on her neck was gone. In the mirror she fingered the spot on her neck where Jackson had choked her. "No! I mean your face. What happened to your face?" Faith realized that he was talking about the scratches on her face from the accident. Flipping the visor back up, she shrugged her shoulders.

"Last night there was an accident…" She didn't really want to get into any specifics. Although she did something very heroic, she didn't want to remember the other victims at the scene that she could not save. The thought of their broken bodies lying all over the street was almost too much for her right now since she was facing her own potential mortality. Hoping that Bosco would drop it, Faith went back to brooding about her current situation.

"Yeah, Lieu said you kinda kicked ass last night." Faith shook her head.

"What?" How did Bosco know about this already?

"In roll call…" Oh God, Faith should have been paying more attention. Apparently, the Lieu had mentioned last night's events during roll call and she completely missed it!

"Yeah well…" She needed to say something. It was now or never. Squirming in her seat, it was clear that Faith was on the verge of breaking some monumental news. Bosco rounded the corner of Lexington and East 106th street near the Marcus Garvey Projects when he suddenly spotted a very well known drug dealer on the corner. Speeding the car up a bit, Faith could wait no longer. "Bosco I need to talk to you." Waving Faith off, Bosco was thrilled by the possibility of rousing a well-known criminal. Silently, he figured that she was probably having more trouble with Fred. He would inevitably listen to her personal problems sooner or later, although, right now he just didn't feel like hearing it.

"Later, Faith." Pulling the car up onto the sidewalk next to the group of possible suspects, Bosco leapt out before Faith could gather her wits and offer a reply. Staring after her partner, Faith was becoming annoyed with his newfound enthusiasm. God dammit she needed to tell him something important! For all she knew Jackson was out here plotting something right now. Getting out of the car, Faith slammed the door shut and begrudgingly joined her partner.

By the time Faith reached the sidewalk, several of the young men loafing about the street had dispersed. Bosco was frisking one of the suspects against the fence. Shoving her hands in her pockets, Faith idly watched with obvious distaste.

"Man, why you always on my shit?" When the young man spoke, Faith recognized his voice as Rayquan Smith, a well known drug dealing piece of trash that her and Bosco had run in numerous times. Faith watched as Bosco eagerly ran his hands through Smith's pockets. He had reason to be excited; this guy was always good for a small amount of something. Still, Faith couldn't feel good about joining in. There were other things that needed addressed right now.

"I'm always on your shit because you're always breaking the law, Ray-quan." Faith couldn't help but to smirk at Bosco's very subtle although racist way of drawing out this guy's name. Shaking her head, Faith acknowledged that her partner would never change.

Bosco ran his hand inside Smith's back pocket and triumphantly discovered a small baggie of crack. "Ought oh, Ray-quan what's this?" Turning the man to face him, Bosco's face was a mix of faux disbelief and genuine happiness. He always loved to make an arrest.

Smith shrugged his shoulders while purposefully avoiding eye contact with Bosco, "I don't know how that got there."

Bosco half laughed, "You don't know how that got there…give me a break." Spinning his arrestee around, Bosco proceeded to whips out his cuffs.

"Hold up! Hold up! I know some information, you know, y'all let me walk and I tell where the big shit's goin' down." Immediately, Faith knew that Bosco was intrigued. She could see the gears turning in his head. Undercover work…a stakeout maybe…even better a big bust on his first day back; it was all there behind his gleaming blue eyes. Faith grimaced; she wanted to handle her own issues. God dammit, why wouldn't Bosco listen to her? To outline her disapproval of this situation, Faith returned to the RMP and sat on the hood. She wanted nothing to do with this bullshit. They had more dangerous criminals to worry about in their own station house.

About twenty minutes later, Bosco removed his handcuffs from Rayquan and the two parted ways. Walking over to the storm drain, Bosco dropped the baggie of crack he confiscated into the murky darkness. The look on her partner's face told Faith that she was going to be doing something later that she didn't want to do. Rolling her eyes, she joined Bosco in the RMP as he backed the car off the sidewalk into traffic. With a sense of obvious eagerness, Bosco pointed the car back toward the house.

"Bosco I really need to talk to you." Faith needed to get this out.

Shaking his head, Bosco was feeling way to good right now to be brought down by his partner's marital issues, "Not now, Faith. I want to get back to the house and talk to the detectives." Bosco laid on the horn as he weaved through traffic. Faith was hurt; her partner had never put her off like this before. Staring at him for a moment, Faith had no idea what to do.

* * *

To say that Brian Jackson was paranoid was an understatement. By the time that he and Geidel hit the streets, he was completely out of control. Jackson was so sure that Yokas had ratted him out to the boss this morning, that he couldn't stop looking over his shoulder for IAB. Sitting in the RMP, Geidel watched as his partner paced back and forth in front of the car. He ,too, was wrought with anxiety at the thought of what could happen to both him and his partner. Suddenly, Jackson returned to the RMP. He was going to send both Boscorelli and Yokas a message that they would never forget.

"Scott, we need to make sure that those two keep their mouths shut." Starting the car up, Jackson backed it into an alley about twenty-five feet from a notoriously dangerous intersection in the precinct. "I want you to go over to that payphone," Jackson gestured to a phone on the corner, "…and call in a report of shots fired just beyond that intersection." For a moment, Geidel looked at his partner confused.

"Brian, what the hell are you planning?" Jackson stared straight ahead with a menacing glint in his eyes. He had no regard for human life; his partner was well aware of this fact, as a sick feeling began to rise from the pit of his stomach.

"Scott, when you become the brains of this operation, let me know; until then do what I say." Geidel stared at his partner; he really had no choice but to follow his orders. He was in this mess just as much as Jackson. Slowly, Geidel walked over to the pay phone. He knew that someone was going to get hurt today; if only he knew just how bad.

55-David was a few blocks from the house when the call came in for shots fired on the border of their sector and 55-George. Just as Jackson had hoped, Boscorelli couldn't resist the urge to play super cop on his first day back. Without consulting his partner, Bosco immediately made a hairpin turn in the middle of the street and gunned the engines toward the opposite end of their sector. A sudden uneasiness came over Faith, something wasn't right about this. This call was too close to the area patrolled by 55-George; Jackson and Geidel. Her heart began thumping away in her chest as Bosco rounded the corner nearly missing a parked car.

"Bosco I really need to talk to you," her words came out disjointed as the RMP bounced roughly across potholes and uneven patches in the road. Faith reached up and held tightly onto the 'oh shit' handle above her head. Her seat belt held her snugly in place as she cast a glance in Bosco's direction. He wasn't even wearing a seat belt. Something bad was going to happen.

Bosco couldn't help but to feel annoyed. "Jesus Christ, Faith, can't this wait until later? I don't want to hear about Fred when we're on our way to a call!" They were some of the angriest words that he had ever spoken to her. They were words that he would later regret.

As 55-David turned the corner of Lexington and 110th street near the park, Bosco let off the gas slightly. Their call was on the opposite side of the intersection between Lexington Ave. and the ramp to FDR drive. It was a very busy spot and a particularly dangerous intersection that he would at least need to slow down for if not stop completely.

Jackson and Geidel waited until they saw 55-David blaze past them on Lexington to pull out directly behind them. Just as Jackson had instructed him, Geidel radioed in their unit as back-up. Boscorelli was more predictable than Jackson could have ever hoped. Just before the intersection he saw the brake lights of 55-David burn with a red glow. At that moment, Jackson floored the accelerator of his own unit.

"Oh my God, Brian! What the hell are you doing?" Geidel's question came out almost as a shriek as he struggled to fasten his seatbelt. Jackson, ignored his partner, however, as he narrowed his eyes on the target ahead.

Faith couldn't wait any longer for Bosco to listen. She was going to blurt this out whether he cared or not. "Bosco! Jackson and Geidel I saw them…"

Before Faith could utter another word, a cataclysmic force rocked the RMP from behind as Bosco was thrown forcefully into the steering wheel. He immediately lost consciousness as the RMP rolled out into traffic. Faith was still trying to recover from the shock when the white paneled truck plowed into the passenger side door at 50 miles an hour. In an instant Faith's entire world went black.

TBC….

Please review I love to know what you think !

Above lyrics are from Live, "Lightening Crashes"


	4. Rest in Pieces

"Last Exit to Brooklyn"

Author: carmen_085

Disclaimer: All Third Watch characters are property of NBC. All original characters belong to me.

Summary: After a terrible tragedy changes his life, Bosco goes undercover in search of redemption and justice in the most unlikely of places

Chapter Four

"Look at me, my depth perception must be off again

Cause this hurts deeper than I thought it did

It had no healed with time

It just shot down my spine"

* * *

A reasonable person would think that the moment you see your fate barreling towards you at fifty miles per hour would be a time when a million thoughts would rush through your head. Is this it? Did I live a good life? Will my family be ok? Will it hurt? Surprisingly, however, not a single thought crossed Faith's mind as she watched her demise play out in slow motion. Pure instinct took over as she lunged toward the opposite side of the car. Clutching onto Bosco's right arm was the last thing she remembered before an absolutely cataclysmic force rocked the RMP. Glass shattered and rained down against her face and neck like sharp little raindrops. The car was literally propelled almost ten feet across the intersection. The tires on the driver's side shredded under the sudden horizontal force as the windshield cracked and collapsed inward. The twisting metal of the car groaned before coming to rest between a telephone pole and the truck. Steam hissing out from under the hood was the only sound in an otherwise eerily silent scene.

No one could believe what had just happened. For a moment it seemed like the world was frozen in a shocked state of disbelief. Even Brian Jackson, who had caused this whole sick chain of events, could not fully grasp what he as seeing. He had gone too far. There as no way Boscorelli and Yokas were walking away from that. Clutching the steering wheel, he contemplated just dropping the car into reverse and getting the hell out of there. That would look way too suspicious, though. The smart thing to do here was to play this off like an accident. Jackson let out a deep breath as his sense of control slowly began creeping back. No one had any reason to suspect anything but an accident; except Yokas and he didn't even know if she were still alive. Snorting, Jackson threw open the door. If she did make it, and he really didn't give a shit either way, she would surely be so scared of him that he didn't think he had anything to worry about.

"55-George. We have just been involved in a traffic accident with another RMP. We need EMS and Fire forthwith!" Running over to the RMP, Jackson took one look at Bosco and Faith unconscious and bleeding before deciding that he was better off directing traffic on the other side of the intersection. The last thing he wanted Yokas to see when she woke up was his face. Geidel, on the other hand, was absolutely shaken by what he had just witnessed. Taking a few slow steps out of the car, he hesitantly approached 55-David. The passenger side of the car was completely crushed against the grill of the truck; however, walking around the other side he was able to see Boscorelli's head pressed against the window. Blood was running down the broken glass across Bosco's face, while Yokas was latched onto his right arm, also unconscious and bleeding from the head. Abruptly turning away, anger rose up into Geidel's features. His fists were balled into tight little rocks of regret. Eyes falling on his partner, he suddenly realized the price their greed had cost two otherwise innocent people. Moving over to check the truck driver, Geidel couldn't face the mess he had caused any longer.

Thump…Thump...Thump

As Faith drifted back into the conscious world, the first thing that she became aware of was the beating of her own heart. It was so loud. It was the only thing she could hear or feel. In some ways, this initial realization was somewhat of a comfort. If her heart was still beating it meant that she wasn't dead. Slowly and painfully, Faith forced one eye open. The harsh light of day caused her to reflexively snap her eyes back shut as her scrambled brain struggled to comprehend what had just happened. The last thing she remembered was grabbing onto Bosco before the truck plowed into her side of the car. Forcing her eyes open once more, Faith slowly began taking stock of her condition. The first thing she noticed was that she couldn't move. What used to be the door was now practically the console as she suddenly became aware of the intense pain in her right shoulder and leg. With what few inches she had to wiggle, Faith was able to inch her fingers along her pant leg. About two inches down her thigh, her fingers ran across what felt like a splintered stick about to poke through her pant leg. Quickly withdrawing her hand, Faith fought the nausea that threatening to overtake her with the realization that it was, indeed, her bone snapped in half and almost ripping through her pants and not a stick. Swallowing hard, Faith closed her eyes. She was so dizzy. Her body was tingling. This was bad. Struggling to stay conscious, the last thing she remembered before passing out was Ty Davis standing on the hood of their car trying to peel back the broken, collapsed windshield. Help was here.

_In an instant, all the pain and horror of her present situation faded away and she was filled with child-like excitement and anticipation. She was sixteen. Fred was picking her up for their first date. He had a car and her parents hated him. She was so sure he was the one! Faith looked at her teenage reflection in the hallway mirror before catching her mother's disapproving glance from across the room. Not caring what her parents thought one bit she hopped out the door, purposely slamming it as loud as she could behind her. In the glow of the streetlight, she marveled at how the sleek black metal of this car glowed with the unrelenting light of rebellious teenage freedom. Then just as abruptly as that vision had come, it faded away into darkness. Faith was floating through the most perfect, simple moments of her life. Shades of red, orange, and blue filled her with a sense of satisfaction as her vision once again cleared. She was sitting on the roof of her and Fred's first apartment in Brooklyn. Her backside was sore from leaning back against the concrete and tar for hours. Fred was at work. She had just turned twenty. They had only been married a few months, but she just knew they were going to make. They were free, living on their own with the satisfaction of knowing that they had succeeded despite everything everyone had told them. Sweat rolled down Faith's neck and face as she curled her fingers around her bare toes. Watching the sun set behind the city made her feel like anything was possible_

"Faith? Please open your eyes…" It was Bosco's voice. She could recognize it anywhere. He sounded so concerned. It was scaring her. Something must be wrong. Then slowly, just as if coming out of a sweet dream, reality began to come back in all it's cascading, painful detail. First, there was the pounding of her heart. Then came the excruciating pain on her right side. Lastly, she became aware of a more gentle, pleasant stimulus in her left hand. It was warm and reassuring and it almost made all the suffering seem bearable. It squeezed her fingers, and stroked the back of her palm, and truthfully it was the only thing that forced her to open her eyes.

Bosco was holding her hand. In six years of knowing him, he had never done something so affectionate or emotional. God…she must really be dying. Squinting she turned her head slightly, it was the first time they had laid eyes on each other since the accident. The first thing that struck her was the amount of blood running down her partner's face.

"Blood…" It was so much more painful to utter that single word than she had ever imagined it could be. She felt like she couldn't catch her breath as the sickening sound of popping and cracking in her chest was almost enough to make her die right then and there.

Quickly reaching up, Bosco swiped his cheek with the back of his shirtsleeve. It was nothing. He didn't want her to worry about him. He was no doctor but he knew that she was hurt way worse than him. Squeezing her hand, Bosco was fast to reassure her. "It's nothing. I'm fine."

Moaning, Faith tried to relax against her partner's shoulder. Somewhere outside of the car she could hear Davis screaming for Jimmy and the rest of the squad to hurry up. In all the chaos of the past two minutes, Faith's traumatized brain had completely forgotten about Jackson and Geidel. She had no way of knowing it was them who caused the accident. They could wait; right now her main concern was the absolute mind numbing pain coursing through her body. Unfortunately, Faith's worst injury was nothing that she could feel. The force of the crash had torn a small hole in her aorta that was widening with every frantic beat of her already stressed heart. It was a lethal process that was steaming ahead with nothing in its way.

"Hey Bosco! Bosco!" It was Jimmy Doherty leaning in the driver's side window. "How you guys doing?"

Bosco shook his head with obvious concern, "I'm ok but I think Faith is really hurt." Jimmy's gaze drifted across the car. He estimated that there about 2 feet of intrusion on the passenger side as it appeared that Yokas was tightly compacted between her patner and what remained of her side of the car. Gritting his teeth, Jimmy gave his jacket to Bosco.

"We're taking the roof off. Cover yourselves with this." It was not a suggestion but an order, and for the first time in his existence Bosco happily obeyed anything that Jimmy said. Carefully, Bosco positioned the jacket over both himself and Faith. In the darkness he leaned a little closer to her as he allowed the side of his face to rest against the top of her head. A few tears rolled down his cheeks. This was all of his fault. He knew that intersection was dangerous; he should have slowed down; he should have been more careful.

"Bosco…" It was slow and drawn out and excruciatingly painful to listen to. In the hazy light under Jimmy's coat, Faith thought she heard Bosco sniffled a little. It was impossible that he could be crying. She had never even seen him close to that kind of emotion. Maybe her ears were playing tricks on her.

"Yeah…" It was quiet and strained and she barely heard it. At this point Faith was so weak and in so much pain that it was impossible to do anything but moan. "Hang in there, Faith. It won't be much longer…" His voice trailed off. Really, he had no idea how long it was going to be. He hoped it wouldn't be much longer because, really, his partner didn't have much longer.

Faith exhaled slowly and painfully as the light surrounding her disappeared into a single point. Her heart was beating faster as she was thrown into the unconscious world more quickly this time.

Thump..Thump..Thump

_She was in the hospital this time. Bright lights were everywhere and, honestly, it was hard to see. Shielding her eyes she slowly became aware of the painful stretching sensation between her legs. "Push, Faith! Push!" On one side was a young, pretty nurse who looked fresh as spring in her pristine blue scrubs. On the other side was Fred looking both scared and excited at the same time. Jesus Christ it felt like a bowling ball was about to come out of her. Mustering all the strength she had Faith pushed hard, and to her surprise, the pressure was instantly relieved. Collapsing back onto the bed she felt completely spent. Everyone in the room was clapping and cheering, although she didn't initially know why. Then, in the blindly bright light, she watched as the doctor placed a perfect little baby girl on her swollen stomach. Her hands were shaking. It was Emily._

_In a flash Faith then saw herself at the police academy. She was at the firing range. Slowly taking off the mitts around her ears, Faith stared at her reflection in the glass partition. She was twenty-three. Emily's first birthday was last week. "You done already?" Peering around the corner, Faith's eyes fell on the twenty-two year old version of Bosco. He was young and cockier than ever. Standing behind him, Faith watched as he brought the pistol back up. She stared at the muscles in his arms tense just before he pulled the trigger. Head cocked to the side, his reddish brown hair was illuminated by the dim light overhead. Faith loved Fred but she would be lying if she didn't admit that Bosco was definitely a good-looking guy. Turning around, he smiled at her as if it were the most natural thing in the world. "That is how it is done!" Not really hearing much of anything, Faith reflexively returned the same genuine happiness in her own smile._

"No! You take her first! I'm not going until she goes!" It was Bosco's voice again. This time he sounded angry and panicked. The coat wasn't over her face anymore as she slowly became aware of the warm sunlight on her face. It was hard to breath and she was so lightheaded it felt like she was floating.

"Bosco, we have to take you! We can't get to her unless you get out." The methodical voice of Doc Parker echoed in her ears. She didn't want Bosco to leave her but she also wanted to get out of the car. Prying her eyes open, Faith looked up at the collection of faces standing around. There was Jimmy Doherty wielding some piece of equipment and Doc staring down at Bosco with a somewhat disapproving look. She also saw Bobby and Kim waiting behind Doc with their med bags ready. Ty Davis was on her side of the car helping the truck driver crawl out of his cab. Man, everyone from the whole third watch was here.

"Bosco…Go." It came out as a whispered wheeze but she was sure he heard her. Initially, Bosco seemed like he was getting ready to protest but not even he could argue with her at a time like this. Nodding reluctantly, Bosco squeezed her hand one last time before allowing Doc and Carlos to strap a c-collar around his neck. Sliding the long board underneath him, Carlos jumped in the back seat of the car and placed his hands on either side of Bosco's face. In one swift motion, Faith felt her partner's hand slip away as Doc and Carlos laid him down on the board.

"I'm here Faith! You're going to be ok." To Faith his words sounded like they were a million miles away. It was getting harder and harder for her to remain conscious. After Doc and Carlos moved Bosco out onto the sidewalk. Bobby and Kim jumped into the car. Through cracked eyelids she barely made out Kim crouching next to her. A squeezing sensation in her left arm eventually registered as a blood pressure cuff in her oxygen and blood deprived brain. Moaning, Faith's head flopped forward as Bobby fastened a collar around her neck.

"Oh man, Bobby, I got 70/palp…heart rate's about 145. We gotta go now!" Nodding in agreement, Bobby began helping his partner slide Faith over the console. In an instant Faith was fully awake and screaming bloody murder. It honestly felt like someone was ripping her apart.

"STOP! OH MY GOD!" Hearing his partner's screams, Bosco immediately began to get up. He was shocked, however, to discover that he couldn't move. Doc and Carlos had strapped him tightly to the long board and were preparing to carry him to the ambulance.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Doc! Let me up!" Struggling side to side, Bosco was disappointed to learn that he couldn't move an inch. "Let me up! I need to go to Faith." Grabbing onto Carlos's arm, Bosco tried to get the young paramedic to put him down. Frankly, he didn't even care if they dropped him right now. He just wanted to be with his partner.

"Stop it, Bosco! You're going to the hospital. Bobby and Kim are taking care of her." Although Carlos understood Bosco's actions, he was beginning to get annoyed. From what he gathered, both he and Faith had been knocked unconscious and, although Yokas's condition was obviously worse, Bosco could also have a potentially fatal injury brewing inside. Climbing into the ambulance, Carlos shut the doors simultaneously muffling Faith's heart wrenching screams. "Now let me see your arm, man."

"Oh like hell. I want up off this goddamned board and I want to be with Faith!" Kicking, Bosco discovered that he was making some marginal headway. Carlos was never really all that great at being the voice of reason and he sure wasn't going to start now.

"God Dammit Bosco! Sit still! You could have a serious head injury …you were knocked unconscious after all." Taking a few deep breaths, it occurred to Bosco that he might be able to talk his way off this board.

"Look…Carlos…I need to be with Faith. There's nothing wrong with me. I just bumped my head." In general, he was pleased with how reasonable that sounded. Maybe Carlos would come around and see it his way.

"Bullshit you're fine. Jesus, Bosco, you're bleeding from the head! Personally, I don't care if you refuse treatment here but once you get to the hospital if you act like this they're going to put you to sleep on a ventilator until they make sure nothing's wrong with you. So if you want to get intubated…go on, keep it up." Sitting down, Carlos affirmed his indifference by purposefully not making eye contact.

Somewhere outside Bosco could still hear his partner screaming in agony. Closing his eyes, he wished with every bit of himself that they could trade places right now. Breathing slowly and deeply, he resigned himself to behaving for now. The thought of being put to sleep with a tube down his throat frankly terrified him. He wanted to be the first thing his partner saw when she got to the hospital and no one would stop him from doing that.

Bobby and Kim had quickly extricated Faith and were hustling to get to the ambulance. They both knew her condition was precarious. Faith's vision was getting blurry again as a combination of pain and low blood pressure threatened to force her back into unconsciousness. The last thing she remembered before slipping away was Bobby cutting her shirtsleeve and the feeling of an IV sliding into her arm. His voice faded away as her eyes drifted shut. "Stay with me Yokas! Step on it Kim, we're losing her!"

Her chest was filling with blood, as the tear in her aorta grew larger with every passing moment. With less blood to pump, Faith's heart became more frenzied in it's attempts to keep her alive.

.Thump

_The memories flashing through her unconscious brain were now coming more abruptly. In an instant she was running down the street. It was dark. Her uniform was uncomfortable and stiff as she ran. Eventually, she began to realize that she was chasing someone. It was the purse-snatcher that she and Bosco arrested their first day riding together. To her left she could hear the engines of their RMP roar past her as Bosco attempted to throw a block at the end of the street. Her feet pounded the pavement as her heartbeat echoed loudly in her ears. What was she going to do if this guy pulled a gun when they cornered him? Would she have to shoot him? Would Bosco shoot him? There were so many things to think about on this job. Up ahead the perp was slowing down, but before she could catch him her dream faded away._

Bosco rolled into the trauma room of Mercy Hospital just moments before his partner. He had been there many times; however, this was his first time as a patient. He was still firmly strapped down to the long board and had even let Carlos put an IV in his left arm. The tiles on the ceiling whizzed by until the stretcher came to a stop and he felt several pairs of hands moving him onto the bed. Carlos was rattling off a bunch of medical words that meant absolutely nothing to him. Looking up, Bosco was somewhat startled to see only about three faces looking back down at him. Usually there were about a million people around when they brought people in here. What Bosco didn't know was that everyone was next door waiting for Faith to come in. According to the report received from the scene, the trauma team estimated that she would be in need of serious life saving efforts when she arrived. Almost the instant he hit the bed, Bosco could feel hands all over him. The straps were removed and a doctor stood over him asking all sorts of questions. His left arm was pulled to the side by someone who immediately began accessing the IV for blood. Another person shoved oxygen into his nose as a nurse standing in the corner scribbled down everything onto a pre-printing trauma assessment sheet.

On the other side of the curtain, in Trauma Bay #5, the collection of socializing voices that had been echoing in his left ear were suddenly hushed. The next thing he heard was Bobby's voice giving a quick report.

"Hi everyone. This is Officer Faith Yokas. She was involved in a two car MVA this afternoon…."

Faith's reality slowly began to come back into focus as she was met with several concerning faces staring down at her. She felt hands all over her body. Someone was putting a blood pressure cuff on her right arm, while another person was busy cutting her clothing off. A doctor shoved an oxygen mask on her face, while a nurse shoved another IV into her arm. This time she couldn't open her eyes, the pain and the dizziness were so intense. A low moan escaped her lips as the pounding of her heart accelerated faster than ever.

ThumpThumpThump

The bright lights of the trauma bay faded away as the darkness of two nights ago returned. Faith was back in the apartment building at 25672 Lexington Ave. She was crouched in the corner watching Brian Jackson hold a gun to his victim's forehead. Faith could, however, still hear the voices of the trauma bay as if they were only downstairs somewhere. Just as she had in real life, Faith jumped about four feet when Jackson pulled the trigger sending the drug dealer crumbling to the ground in a pool of blood. Then, unlike two nights ago, Jackson turned and saw her standing outside the door. Making a beeline in her direction he was already on top of her choking her before the thought of running even crossed her mind. His hands squeezed her neck like it was putty as her body felt limp and useless. Faith's eyes rolled back into her head, as Jackson's menacing glare was replaced by a bright white light.

"Officer Yokas! Try to stay with us!" The Trauma surgeon was yelling in Faith's ear as she struggled to breath. Was Jackson still choking her? Where was she? Prying one eye open, Faith's blood deprived brain swam in a sea of pain and uncertainty. The living world, however, came into vivid focus when the same doctor who had just been yelling at her attempted to straighten her right leg.

"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!" Her screams were louder and caused more pain in her chest than she ever could have imagined. "STOP!" Faith was in so much misery at that point that she could do nothing but cry. With her good hand she pounded the bed as she wondered what she did wrong in life to deserve this. She was scared. She could barely breath and her heart was beating so fast she thought it might fly right out of her chest. People were running everywhere around her in a choreographed frenzy. Numerous bags of fluid swung from racks on the ceiling, as blood was being pumped into one of her many IVs via a complicated looking machine that made a horrible amount of noise. Doctors and nurses were yelling out heart rates and blood pressures that only caused them to become more harried. The trauma doctors were putting on long blue gowns and gloves that stretched up to their elbows. Faith knew she was in bad shape but all this was starting to really frighten her.

"Bosco! Bosco, where are you? Bosco it hurts!" She had no idea whether he was around or not, but right now she desperately wanted a familiar face.

The moment that Bosco heard Faith yelling his name his heart sank. She sounded so scared and confused that he almost wasn't sure that it was his partner that he had heard. He had to be with her; this shit they were trying to do to him could wait. Without warning, Bosco attempted to sit up on the bed. Instantly, he felt hands all over him pushing him back down. "You have to lay back, Officer. We haven't finished examining you yet!" Initially, Bosco was a little stunned. Didn't they realize that there was nothing wrong with him? Didn't they hear Faith calling his name? He had to be with his partner, that was it. Bosco sat up again, this time more forcefully. Latching onto the siderails he made it difficult for the trauma team to lay him back down. The young doctor who had been examining him earlier was getting slightly frustrated as his face turned a shade of red. "Officer if you don't relax I will tie you to the bed and we will put you to sleep on a breathing machine." Oh yeah that was it. The third time that Bosco sat up he wasted no time in reaching for the back up firearm he kept in his ankle holster. Pointing the gun directly in the doctor's direction, the entire room let out a collective gasp as they backed away from the bed. Bosco's hand was shaking slightly as he held the gun level.

"I am fine, doctor. You will not be tying me to the bed or putting me to sleep. I am going to be with my partner now." Bosco's voice did not waver as he spoke in a deadly tone. Ripping the monitor leads off, Bosco unfastened the hard collar around his neck as he jumped down off the bed. Looking down at the IV in his arm, he only hesitated a moment before ripping it out. The trauma team had managed to cut one pant leg and his uniform shirt off as he stood there in a white t-shirt and tattered uniform pants. The blood dripped down his arm onto the floor from where the IV had been. Everyone in the room watched him with bated breath, although, no one dared approach him. To them, he was a wounded animal capable of lashing out at the first person who came too close. He knew that this probably wasn't the best way to do things but he had no choice. He needed to be with Faith, and was more than willing to deal with whatever punishment was inevitably coming his way.

Turning away from their disapproving looks, he threw the curtain separating the rooms aside. There had to be at least twenty people in there all running around in blue scrubs in what looked to be a scene of mass chaos. Orders were being yelled out left and right and, although they sounded very important, he really had no idea what anything meant.

"Bosco! Where are you? It hurts so bad!" By this point Faith was absolutely frantic with pain and anxiety. Pushing a few people out of the way, Bosco finally made it to the bedside. A thin sheet was the only thing that covered her bleeding body as her eyes darted everywhere in search of him.

Grabbing her hand without a second thought, Bosco leaned over the bed so that she could see him. "I'm here Faith. I'm here."

"Oh God…what's happening? Why does it hurt so much, Bosco?" He had no answer for her and it killed him. Bosco could only stare at her, his face wretched with guilt and sadness.

Amidst all the activity, one of the trauma doctors became aware of Bosco's presence at the bedside. "What the hell is this? Mary get him out of here!" Bosco shot Proctor a look that told her he wasn't going anywhere.

"I'll make sure he's not in the way Dr. Rice." Gesturing toward the head of the bed, Mary pointed out a sliver of space that she deemed appropriate for Bosco. Not able to hold Faith's hand any longer, Bosco rested his fingers against the right side of her face. Leaning over, he brought his mouth right next to her ear so that his voice was the loudest thing she heard.

"I'm here, Faith. I promise I won't leave." Tears sprung up in her eyes. She wasn't going to make it. She could feel it in every bone of her body. This was it.

Sobbing loudly, Faith shook her head from side to side. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. "Oh Bosco! I'm not going to make it. I'm not." Her face was a runny mixture of tears and blood as she searched for an answer to her seemingly impossible problem.

When Bosco heard the sincerity in her words, he started to cry. He didn't know what else to do. Rubbing his fingers across her cheek he could not find any words to make this right. He couldn't say everything was going to be ok, because at this point he honestly didn't believe it would be.

"I'm here, Faith. I'm here."

Her vision was getting hazy, and this time Faith didn't think she would be coming back. "I'll miss you Bosco…" Suddenly, she was gasping for air. The room went dark as she heard a high -pitched wail.

"She's in asystole! Start CPR." In a flash, someone was on top the bed pumping her chest. If Bosco thought the room was chaotic before, things kicked into a whole new gear once Faith was in arrest.

On the other side of the room, Bosco saw the trauma surgeon donning a cap and mask. "Two minutes of this and then we crack the chest." In his own state of shock, Bosco allowed someone to push him out of the way. The ER physician wasted no time intubating Faith as he made sliding the thin tube into her airway look easy and effortless. Faith's arms were flopped out on either side of the bed as her fingers were beginning to turn white. "That's it. Thoracotomy tray."

The sheet was ripped off Faith's chest exposing her naked body. Someone spilled a bottle of betadine over her torso as Bosco watched the brown liquid spread to every corner. Making a precise incision on the left side, the trauma surgeon slid the rib spreaders into the opening. Cranking the handle, Faith's chest opened up with barbaric force. Immediately, at least two liters of blood splattered onto the floor. Reaching his hand into her chest, the surgeon quickly confirmed his worst fears. Her aorta was torn in half. There was no fixing this. Meeting Bosco's eyes across the room, they share a look of mutual sadness. It was over.

"That's it everyone. Time of death seven thirty." The room fell silent as everyone waited for Bosco's reaction. He could not react, however, as he stood there in total shock. The gun in his hand fell to the floor as his body went limp and his eyes rolled back into his head. Before anyone could reach him, Bosco crumpled to the floor with a loud thud.

Above lyrics are from Saliva's "Rest in Pieces"


	5. Never too Late

"Last Exit to Brooklyn"

Author: carmen_085

Disclaimer: All Third Watch characters are property of NBC. All original characters belong to me

Summary: After a terrible tragedy changes his life, Bosco goes undercover to find redemption and justice in the most unlikely of places

Chapter Five

"This world will never be

What I expected

And if I don't belong

Who would have guessed it?"

* * *

There were a lot of questions that Bosco had asked himself over the last twenty-eight years. The only question that he kept coming back to; however, was "Where did I go wrong?" As he struggled to open his eyes against the antiseptic light of the ER, he slowly became aware of the person standing over him. Moaning, Bosco attempted to roll over away from the questioning glares he was sure awaited him. As he tried to shield his face, he became conscious of the metallic ring digging into his right wrist. Pulling on it a little it didn't take long before he was sitting bolt upright in bed screaming at the top of his lungs.

"What the hell! Get these Goddamned things off of me!" Out of anger and confusion, Bosco began trying to slide his wrists through the metal shackle. It was completely futile and he knew this, but he was emotionally wrung out from the day's events and he couldn't understand why his friends would do such a thing.

"Take it easy, Bosco. This wasn't our idea." Sully took a step toward the bed as he attempted to lay a reassuring hand on Bosco's arm. Immediately, Bosco jerked away. He didn't want anyone treating him like damaged goods right now. They didn't know how he felt. This was his fault…all his fault. If he were a better cop, Faith wouldn't be dead right now. Glancing up at the clock, it was almost nine pm. On any other day he and Faith would probably be sitting under the bridge counting the minutes down until they were done. Dropping his head, Bosco suppressed the sudden urge to cry. Faith was dead, he was handcuffed to the stretcher, and everywhere he looked were glances of pity and disbelief. Snapping his head up, he was filled with the sudden desire to talk to Faith. She could make him feel better about all this. He even opened his mouth to ask for her, but quickly shut it before he said anything that made him like a lunatic in need of a nice, long hospital stay.

"I don't care who put them on, Sully. Just get them off of me!" Bosco shook his wrist so that the metal made an obnoxious clanging sound against the bed rail.

Sully and Davis exchanged an apprehensive glance before Sully finally spoke up, "We can't take them off just yet." Bosco instantly snapped his head to the right, fire burned from his eyes as he stared at Sully in disbelief.

"Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me, Sullivan!" Sully backed away from the bed a little seeing the impending explosion. "My partner is dead! And you jag-offs have me handcuffed to the bed like some skel? I'm getting up." Bosco was able to pull himself up so that he was kneeling on the stretcher. Pulling back with everything he had he yanked his wrist as hard as he could. The metal cut into the flesh like a dull knife as a small trail of blood trickled down his hand.

While Sully moved toward the doorway in search of the boss, Davis could do nothing but stare. Bosco was behaving like he had never seen anyone behave before. He was like a wild animal wounded beyond all recognition and lashing out at anyone who got too close. Bosco had always been a rather colorful character that never hesitated to tell you exactly what he thought, but never…never had he been like this.

"Alright, what the hell is going on in here?" Lieutenant Swersky appeared at the doorway. Seeing Bosco's rather desperate predicament, the boss signaled for Sullivan and Davis to step out. As the door shut, Swersky pulled a key from his pocket and unlocked the cuffs. He stepped back and watched as Bosco hesitantly stepped down off the stretcher. Wiping the blood from his wrist with the wrinkled bed sheet, Bosco paced back and forth for a moment before sliding down into a chair near the wall. "I had those handcuffs put on you."

Looking up, Swersky was not prepared for the level of betrayal that he saw on the younger man's face. Instantly, he regretted his decision. After Bosco fainted in the trauma bay, the medical staff threw him on a stretcher and sent him straight to the CT scanner. Dr. Fields insisted that Bosco be handcuffed and placed under arrest for his actions in the trauma bay. Although Swersky was not present when Bosco pulled his backup gun on the trauma team, he knew that nothing malicious was meant by it. He simply wanted to be with his partner. Nonetheless, he agreed to place Bosco under arrest in an attempt to quiet the doctor's very vocal protests. Now he realized what a terrible mistake he had made.

"I'm sorry, Bosco. Dr. Fields is pressing charges against you for aggravated assault. There was nothing I could do." Bosco lowered his head, shaking it in acknowledgement before standing up suddenly.

"Thank you Lieutenant. Can I go now?" His response was very brisk, as Swersky couldn't help but to notice Bosco's sudden and intense desire to get out of there. They stood there for a moment staring at each other in silence. It would be a major turning point for Bosco. He trusted Faith but she was gone. He trusted his friends but they locked him to a bed. He couldn't trust anyone; and he would never let himself forget that.

Shaking his head Swersky threw his hands up in the air, "They want you to stay the night in the hospital and you will have to eventually answer to the assault charges…" Bosco wasn't hearing any of this. He didn't care anymore. They could take his job. They could put him in jail. He could fall over dead right now. Nothing mattered anymore.

Choking back a fresh wave of emotion, Bosco cut the Lieutenant off, "I just want to go home, Lieu." He was careful to keep his watery eyes averted from the older man's gaze, he was having a hard time controlling this. After a moment of studying Bosco's beaten frame, Swersky finally nodded.

"Ok, you can go. But I want to see you tomorrow at the house to sort out this whole mess." Bosco quickly nodded before grabbing his gun belt.

The ER was full of all sorts of people. Bosses from all levels of command were there presumably because of what happened to Faith. Bosco avoided their stares as he hurried toward the parking lot. They all looked at him thinking the same thing, "Poor bastard got careless and now his partner's dead." When Bosco reached the ambulance bay he broke out into a run. He needed to get away from there as fast as possible. Sprinting into the darkness Bosco wasn't really paying attention to where he was going.

Suddenly, it was as if his face hit a brick wall. In some swift motion,he went sprawling backwards onto the pavement. A man stood over him bending down close to his face. "I've been waiting for this day a long time." Winding up he laid another devastating punch squarely into Bosco's jaw. His teeth rattled from the blow as a terrible pain shot through his head. The black night flashed to white as his right eye was squashed back into it's socket. "This is all your fault, Bosco. If it weren't for you always screwing things up Faith would still be alive!" It was Fred. Bosco lay on the ground trying to find the will to get up and fight back. He always knew that if anything ever happened to Faith he would need to answer to Fred. He deserved this beating more than he had ever deserved anything in his entire life. So he didn't fight back. He lay there limp on the concrete letting Fred do whatever he wanted.

"I hate you Bosco. I've always hated you. I never understood what Faith saw in you." Although Fred's words cut him to the core, he couldn't help but to feel a little uplifted by his last remark. Faith saw him for who he really was. At least someone in this world knew the real Bosco.

All the air in Bosco's lungs rushed out as Fred straddled his chest. Wrapping his hands tightly around Bosco's neck Fred squeezed as hard as he could. He was going to kill Bosco right here and now and it was going to feel good. Instinctively, Bosco attempted to fight back kicking his legs back and forth trying to get Fred off of him. Although he really didn't care if he lived or died at that moment, Bosco couldn't keep his urge for survival at bay. Terror coursed through his body as he struggled to gasp for air.

"Hey! Hey! We need some help over here!" Bobby had been busy restocking and cleaning the back of the bus when he noticed two people rolling around in the parking lot. Upon closer inspection he immediately recognized Bosco's bloody face smashed against the ground, while he could not identify the man on top of him.

"What the hell? Get off of him, man!" The man was about the same size as Bobby although years of anger and frustration had made him exponentially stronger. Wrapping his arms around Fred's waist Bobby used all his strength to pull Faith's husband off of Bosco. Fred's hands, however, were all but glued to the doughy flesh of Bosco's neck. As Bobby pulled him farther backwards he subsequently lifted Bosco up off the ground. When he finally lost his grasp, Bosco went crashed onto the pavement with a sickening thud. Cold air rushed back into his lungs as he coughed and struggled to breath.

After the boss told them to take a hike, Sully and Davis had resigned themselves to drinking bitter coffee in the nurses' lounge. Davis sat on the sofa, tracing circles around the rim of his coffee cup. "What do you think is going to happen with Bosco?" The reality that your life on this job can be forever changed by a split second was never more apparent to the young officer than it was tonight.

Sully exhaled slowly as he thoughtfully regarded his partner, "I don't know." Bosco and Faith were closer than most partners he knew of, and to be honest he really wasn't sure if Bosco would make it on his own. Walking over to the window Sully pressed his nose up against the glass. Shielding his eyes he attempted to block out the reflection of the lounge. Two people where on the ground rolling around in the parking lot and a third was about to join in. "Crap…" Throwing his coffee cup in the trash, Sully motioned for his partner to follow him. Although he wasn't sure, he had a pretty good idea who might be involved.

Bobby had just pulled a very determined Fred Yokas off of Bosco when Sullivan and Davis came hustling out of the ER. Sully took one look at Bosco's bleeding face before he turned to Fred. Pulling the enraged man back a few steps, Sully put himself between Bosco and his attacker. "Don't make me lock you up, Fred."

Bosco struggled to regain his composure as Bobby jumped back to his feet. Casting a glance at Fred, he bent down and took Bosco by the arm. "C'mon bro, I'll help you up." With Bobby's help, Bosco slowly rose to his feet. His neck hurt where Fred choked him and his ribs were aching. He felt slightly dizzy from the sudden return of perfusion to his head as he nearly stumbled backwards into a parked car.

"This isn't over, Bosco!" Fred was still screaming over his shoulder as Sully directed him back into the ER. As soon as Fred disappeared inside the glass doors, Bosco turned to leave the parking lot. He was shivering as it was February and wasn't wearing anything but a t-shirt. His face ached and blood was running into his left eye. Picking up his gun belt he started toward the street.

"Hey, man you should get those cuts looked at. You might need stitches." Bobby attempted to put himself between Bosco and freedom hoping that it would stop him for a moment.

Bobby was probably right but, frankly, the last place that Bosco wanted to go was back into the ER. All those people were in there staring at him. Fred was in there waiting to take another shot. But more than anything else, Faith was in there laying lifeless and cold all because of him. Bosco avoided all eye contact with Bobby, as he quietly replied, "No, I just want to go home I'll be fine."

After the emotional roller coaster that he had been on today, Bosco didn't have anything left to fight with Bobby. Silently, he hoped that the paramedic would just go away and leave him in misery. Bobby studied Bosco's face as he cast a glance back toward the zoo in the ER. If they were to switch places right now, he probably wouldn't want to go back in there either. Gesturing toward the bus Bobby made another suggestion, "Well, at least let me take a look. C'mon, me and Kim will give you a ride back to the house."

Bosco's desire to be left alone was quickly evaporating as he stared into the heated ambulance. It was thirty-five degrees out and he lived almost two miles away. A ten-minute ride with Bobby and Kim wouldn't kill him but the cold probably would. Reluctantly, he nodded as he followed Bobby into the back of the ambulance.

"Ok, have a seat there on the bed and we'll get this fixed up in no time." Bosco laid back on the gurney as Kim started the ambulance. Allowing his eyes to drift shut, he immediately saw Faith lying naked on the stretcher like a piece of meat. Instantly, he snapped his eyes open. His heart was pounding as he took a few deep breaths. Bobby didn't seem to notice his impending nervous breakdown as he busied himself with finding the right supplies. Bosco didn't want to engage the paramedic in conversation so instead of closing his eyes he averted them in the opposite direction. Bobby was talking to Kim about some other call that they had been on earlier and, honestly, Bosco was relieved that they were acting like it was just another day.

"Ok, this is going to sting a little." Bobby stood over him with a bottle of saline that he had poked holes in use as a shaker bottle. The technique was a quick version of the debridement that they would have done in the ER. Bosco didn't feel a thing. The amount of physical and emotional pain that he had suffered today could not be matched. Bloody saline dripped down the side of his head and into his left ear. After a few minutes, Bobby appeared satisfied with his work as he carefully applied a line of white Steri-Strips. "If that doesn't heal in a few days, you're going to need stitches."

Bosco nodded as he pulled himself into the sitting position. A moment of awkwardness passed between him and Bobby as they stared at each other in silence. Bobby hoping that he would never be in Bosco's position, and Bosco hoping that he wouldn't have to say anything for fear of losing it completely. Thankfully, Kim was backing into the firehouse. Bosco stood up grabbing his gun belt as he swung the backdoor open and stepped onto the sidewalk. "Um…thanks, Bobby. For you know…" He immediately turned away and began walking toward his car.

"Hey, Bosco, we're here for you…if you need anything." Bosco couldn't bear to turn around as a fresh wave of emotion threatened to pull him under. Throwing a hand up, he gave Bobby a slight wave letting him know that he had heard him.

There were a few cops milling about the precinct parking lot as Bosco hurried to his car. Pulling the keys out of his pocket he jumped inside slamming the door. Finally, he was alone. Bosco sat there for a moment staring straight ahead. His breath crystallized into small clouds in the cold night air. He was shivering again as his knee bounced around jangling the keys hanging out of the ignition.

' _I'll miss you, Bosco…'_. Four words that he didn't want to remember but could never forget.

* * *

After being released from the accident scene by Lieutenant Swersky, Jackson and Geidel parking under the FDR near 125th street. Cutting the engine, Jackson exhaled slowly as he waited for the storm to hit. Geidel, who was visibly disturbed by the day's events, leaned forward as he ran an unsteady hand through his black hair. "This is bad, Brian."

Jackson regarded his partner with a scowl. Always worrying, never trusting him he was beginning to get sick of Geidel's whining. "Would you relax? Swersky thinks that Bosco got careless and we hit him after the fact." Jackson relaxed back into the seat allowing his eyes to drift shut. Overall, he was pretty satisfied with his work. There was no way anyone could prove that he had purposefully pushed 55-David out into traffic. That was unless Geidel opened his mouth. That possibility was thoroughly remote as he had just as much to lose if not more.

"What? What? Do you actually believe for one Goddamned second that Yokas didn't tell Boscorelli every last detail? Even if she's too scared to do anything about it, he will!" Geidel pounded his fist on the dash in anger. Jackson was completely unfazed by his outburst. "If anything happens to Yokas, Boscorelli will go nuts. You know as well as I do that the two of them are inseparable. Boscorelli won't rest until we are in jail or dead! FUCK! What the hell did you get me into!" Geidel jumped out of the car slamming the door for emphasis. Pacing back and forth in front of the RMP, he balled his fists as he tried to control a very strong desire to hit someone.

Inside the car, Jackson shook his head before resigning himself to his babysitting duties. "For Christ's sake, Scott. Take it easy." Jackson leaned against the hood of the car as he watched his partner wear a track in the pavement. "You weren't complaining like this when it was time to take the money." Geidel stopped pacing for a moment and stared into Jackson's cold blue eyes.

"What did you say?"

Jackson rolled his eyes, he couldn't understand why his partner was being so dramatic. "You heard me."

In a flash Geidel laid a devastating hit directly to his partner's jaw, "Fuck you! I went along with you because you were my partner and you needed the money. Now look at where we are!" Jackson attempted to recover from the punch as he rubbed his jaw. Geidel was right. He didn't want anything to do with ripping off dealers and stealing from pimps. It was all Jackson's idea. In addition to being a sociopath, Brian Jackson also had a terrible gambling problem that catapulted him more than one hundred thousand dollars in the hole. In the beginning it was about paying off the debt, now it was more about the thrill.

Geidel was still fuming when 55-Charlie pulled around the corner. Winding the window down Davis eyed both parties carefully before speaking. Although he had no reason to suspect Jackson and Geidel of anything sinister, there was just something that bothered him about them. "Hey guys…"

Whipping around, Geidel attempted to conceal his rage with a false front of normalcy. "Hey…" It was quiet but he was afraid that if he spoke any louder his emotions would betray him.

Davis decided to ignore the bizarre atmosphere surrounding his colleagues and just relay the news, "Yeah…we just came from the hospital. Yokas didn't make it."

Both Geidel and Jackson could not conceal their shock. "Thanks guys…" Jackson gathered himself in time to offer and response in hopes that Sully and Davis would drive away before the explosion.

Davis nodded his head at a speechless Geidel before winding the window up and driving away. "Hey, Sul did that seem at all weird to you?"

Sully pursed his lips, "Yeah, I don't know. I always feel like those two are up to something." Squinting his eyes into the night, Sully had enough to think about. Suddenly, an unsettled feeling came over him as he remembered Faith's words.

'What would you do if you thought someone was dirty?'

Staring into the side mirror Sully watched as Brian Jackson and his partner faded into the night. What if today was no accident at all?

* * *

It took everything Bosco had to climb the stairs of his apartment building. His entire body throbbed in pain. Turning the key, his apartment door swung open revealing a dark and lonely home. Flicking the lights on he dropped his gun belt onto the floor as he kicked the door shut. For a moment he stood there perfectly still as he eyes came to rest on card taped to his refrigerator. His twenty-eighth birthday was a few weeks ago. Aside from his mother the only person that gave him a card was Faith. Carefully he ran his fingers along the card's edges. He had already memorized what it said, although, this time he hesitated to open it wanting to draw this experience out as long as possible. The longer he took to read those words, the longer he could pretend that it was January 11th and Faith had just handed him that card and everything was alright. It wasn't January 11th, though, it was February 6th and he would never get another birthday card from his partner ever again. Squeezing the paper, his hands trembled as he flipped the card open.

'Happy Birthday, Buddy! I hope you have a great year. You're getting old like me, now.'

Anger began to boil up inside of Bosco as the physical pain he was experiencing faded into a surge of adrenaline. Why did the one thing that meant the most to him have to get taken away? What did he do to deserve this? Picking a glass up off of the counter he hurled it into the wall. "GODDAMMIT ! WHY NOT ME? WHY FAITH?" Stalking across the room he pulled a picture of him and Faith on graduation day down from the wall and flung at the TV. Not satisfied, Bosco began grabbing anything and everything in his path. Glass shattered all around him as his unstoppable rage could not be contained. "I HATE YOU! DO YOU HEAR ME? I HATE YOU!" Screaming, Bosco ran directly toward his kitchen table, flipping it over in one swift motion.

He could barely catch his breath as he collapsed to the floor. "I don't deserve to live," it came out as a breathless mumble. At no other time in his life had Bosco ever felt so hopeless. He genuinely thought that he would be better off dead. Fred's words echoed in his mind, 'This is all your fault, Bosco. If not for you always screwing things up, Faith would still be alive.' Faith would probably still be alive if not for him. He was driving. He got careless…He didn't check before going out into the intersection…It was his fault that Faith was dead.

He should be dead.

Bosco's eyes wandered around the room, finally come to rest on his Glock .9mm service piece. Slowly rising to his feet, only one thought crossed him mind. That thought was one that he never thought he would have. Before today the mere notion of it repulsed him. But now he understood. He knew that there was a place of such profound hopelessness that it seemed like the only option. Sliding the cold metal object out of its holster three words pulsed over and over in his mind. End it now. End it now. End it now.

Bosco stared at his gun like it was the first time he'd ever seen it. Turning toward the bathroom he let the pistol fall to his side. It felt heavy in his hand; heavier than it ever felt before. Perhaps it was the weight of decisions made, perhaps it was the weight of sorrow hanging tightly to his shoulders, or maybe it was the weight of responsibility for the partner that he failed to protect. Climbing into the bathtub, Bosco sat down resting his head against the white tiled walls. Once he committed to this; there was no turning back. Sliding the clip in and out he heard Fred's angry words again and again, 'If not for you always screwing things up, Faith would still be alive.' He wasn't going to screw up anyone else's life. This was it. Locking the clip in place, Bosco brought the barrel of the gun to his temple with a shaking hand. Taking a deep breath he cocked the hammer back. Bosco closed his eyes. This was it.

Suddenly, a feverish barrage of knocking at the door caused him to jump. The gun fell from his unsteady hand into the tub. "Uncle Bosco!" It was a little girl's voice. In one swift motion Bosco jumped out of the tub.

"Jesus Christ…" He stared dumbfounded at the gun. What was he thinking? He almost killed himself. Thoroughly shaken, Bosco hurried out of the bathroom, shutting the door tightly behind him. A sudden wave of nausea came over him as he realized that he was seconds from killing himself. The taste of vomit slowly began creeping up the back of his throat and before he knew it, he was heaving over the kitchen sink.

"Uncle Bosco! Please open the door!" Spitting, Bosco hastily wiped his mouth with a dishrag. Running the kitchen sink, he quickly washed his mouth out.

Flinging the door open, Bosco's suspicions were confirmed as he laid eyes on a very scared and distraught Emily Yokas.

"Emily! What are you doing here?" The eleven year old girl was clutching a backpack as tears streamed down her face. Sniffling a bit she hesitated to meet Bosco's eyes.

"My daddy says that mommy isn't coming home. He said she went to heaven. I don't believe him, though. Do you know where my mommy is?"

If all the terrible things that happened today didn't already cause his heart to break, Emily would have succeeded in shattering it into a million pieces. Bosco sank down to his knees in front of her. Smiling a sad smile, he pushed her hair behind her ear.

"Oh, honey…" Bosco didn't have the strength to tell her what happened. Instead he tried to pull her towards him. The young girl, however, was terrified by his appearance. Dried blood on the side of his face and a half torn t-shirt, Bosco looked anything but the man she remembered.

Recognizing that me must look like some kind of monster, Bosco stood up offering his hand to Emily. "Why don't you come in, sweetheart and I'm going to change my clothes and then we'll talk." Sniffling, Emily reluctantly took her mother's partner's hand. If the girl had been terrified by Bosco's appearance, she was downright traumatized by the looks of his apartment. Seeing her wide eyes, Bosco struggled to come up with an explanation. "Oh…I'm just redecorating the place." It was weak, almost comical and a smart child like Emily undoubtedly saw right through his charade. Nonetheless she nodded her head and allowed Bosco to lead her over to the couch. Thankfully, the couch faced the opposite direction of most of the destruction in his apartment. "Ok, just give me a minute and we'll talk about your mommy, ok?" Emily stared at her shoes and slowly nodded.

Bosco's bedroom was a mess as usual. Quickly pulling off his shirt and pants he replaced the tattered attire with a pair of jeans and faded NYPD sweatshirt. Throwing open the bathroom door, he wanted to clean his face. His gun was still lying in the bathroom, fully cocked and ready to go. Bending over, he carefully disarmed the pistol. Two more seconds and he would have been lying in the bathtub with his brains splattered all over the wall. He didn't want Emily to see him walking around with a gun in his hand. Stepping up on the toilet he stashed the pistol in the bathroom cabinet. For a moment he stood there staring at it; trying to comprehend what could have been. Turning the sink on, Bosco haphazardly scrubbed his aching face. Rising his face to the level of the mirror he knew he looked bad but even he was surprised. His right eye was completely black and blue while a long cut crossed his forehead just above his left eye. Bosco didn't have time to dwell on appearances right now. Drying his face he stepped out into the living room to find Emily expectantly watching him.

He offered the young girl a weakly reassuring smile. Hesitantly he lumbered over to the worn recliner opposite the couch. Slowly sitting down, he took a few deep breaths in an attempt to make himself seem calm and collected when he was actually on the verge of total emotional collapse. Emily watched him for a moment before getting up from her seat on the couch. Bosco stared at her as she stood in front of him. He had no idea what to say. Holding his hands out, he helped her onto the chair so that she was sitting in his lap. His heart was breaking as Faith's daughter snuggled closer to him eventually resting her head against his cheek. Looking upward, Bosco willed himself not to cry. It didn't work. Tears spilled down his cheeks as he drew in a ragged breath. "Emily…" His voice was cracking. He wanted to keep it together for her so bad. Emily pulled back and stared at his expression before bursting out into tears as well.

"My mommy's in heaven, isn't she?" Bosco couldn't speak. His brow furrowed as he bite his bottom lip. A sob escaped from behind his lips as the only thing he could offer her was a nod. Wrapping his arms around Emily he held her close to him as she cried. "What happened to her, Uncle Bosco?"

"There was an accident Em…and…your mommy was hurt very bad." Bosco's voice was strained and lacing with raw emotion. "The doctors tried to save her but they couldn't…I'm so sorry, Em." Emily rested her head against Bosco's cheek as she sniffled. At this point, Bosco was too weak to hold back. As he stroked Emily's hair with his left hand, he allowed the tears to flow freely down his cheeks. Allowing his eyes to drift shut, Bosco could feel Emily making herself comfortable in his lap. He couldn't allow himself to fall asleep. Fred was no doubt going out of his mind with worry wondering where his eleven year old daughter had disappeared to. He needed to get up and take Emily home. If Fred knew where she was, he would probably finish what he started earlier in the parking lot and this time there would be no one to hold him back. Bosco just wanted to rest for two minutes. He was so tired. He had honestly never felt so emotional and physical wrung out. Just two minutes… that's all he needed. Within seconds, both Bosco and Emily were fast asleep.

Above Lyrics are from Three Days Grace, "Never Too Late". Thank you to all readers who patiently awaited my update, I hope it was worth the wait. I love reviews !


	6. Broken

"Last Exit to Brooklyn"

Author: carmen_085

Disclaimer: All Third Watch characters are property of NBC. All original characters belong to me

Summary: After a terrible tragedy changes his life, Bosco goes undercover to find redemption and justice in the most unlikely of places

Author's Note: Merry Christmas everyone! I am sorry for the long wait in updates. I went back to school this past semester and did not have much free time. I hope you enjoy this chapter, it's extra long since you've been waiting 6 months for it. I love reviews so please let me know what you think!

Chapter Six

"I'm falling apart

I'm barely breathing

With a broken heart

That's still beating"

* * *

_"Bosco I really need to talk to you!"_

_"Jesus Christ, Faith, can't this wait until later? I don't want to hear about Fred when we're on our way to a call!"_

Bosco awoke with a start as his nightmare faded into reality. Faith was there with him. Snapping his head in either direction he searched his lonely apartment. It couldn't be. They were in the RMP only a second ago…and it seemed so real. Bosco's heart raced as the day's events slowly came back into focus. Looking down he realized that Emily was still asleep in his arms. His hands were shaking as they held tightly to Faith's little girl. Taking a few deep breaths, Bosco steadied himself. He needed to get Emily back to Fred. What time was it anyway? Glancing at his watch, Bosco almost screamed. It was two in the morning! Jesus Christ, Fred was going to kill him. He was going to strangle him with his bare hands, and this time no one would be around to stop him.

Standing up slowly, Bosco was careful to hold onto Emily as she slept. The sudden movement, however, caused the girl to stir. "Bosco…what's going on?"

"Oh…we need to get you home, honey. Your daddy's probably worried sick." Emily slide out of Bosco's arms and to the floor. Rubbing her eyes, she regarded Bosco with curiosity.

"My daddy won't be mad if he knows that I was with you." Bosco almost laughed out loud but stopped himself just in time. Although Emily's words made him feel good, he was pretty sure that Fred would be homicidal when he discovered what was going on.

Ten minutes later they were driving down east 86th street toward Faith's apartment, and Bosco was feeling sicker than ever. While the thought of facing Fred was less than exciting, Bosco wondered if he would be able to make it through this experience without having a breakdown. Every time he had gone to Faith's apartment it was to see her. She wouldn't be there, though, she would never be there again. Glancing in the rearview mirror, he watched Emily stare out the window.

"Emily are you ok back there?" Bosco slowed his car to a stop as the light at Lexington Ave and 84th street turned red. Turning around in the seat, Emily just nodded at him. Turning back to road, Bosco ran a hand through his hair as he contemplated the right words. "Emily, your daddy might tell you things about me because he's mad at me."

"Why is my daddy mad at you?" Her question was honest. She didn't understand the complexities of adult relationships.

"Well…he trusted me. He trusted me to take care of your mommy, and…" Bosco took a moment to swallow back the emotion. "I didn't do a very good job."

"But you said my mommy went to heaven because of an accident." The light turned green as Bosco gave the car some gas. He wished that he could see things from Emily's perspective. Everything was so simple and honest.

"Well, she did. But…" Before he could finish she cut him off.

"Then it wasn't your fault. My mommy says that accidents just happen sometimes." A sad smile came across Bosco's face as he glanced at the miniature Faith in his back seat. In that moment, he was envious of Fred. Although Faith was gone, he still had Emily and Charlie. They were each pieces of Faith that would continue to live on long after their mother was laid to rest. Instead of two precious children, Bosco had guilt and anger. Even though Emily was right, he would never stop blaming himself.

"No matter what, I want you to know that I am here for you and Charlie if you need me. I mean it, Emily, if you need anything at all." The heartfelt nature of Bosco's words were not lost on Emily as a small, sad smile spread across her face. Even at her tender age, she knew what it meant to trust someone, and next to her father there was no adult she could trust more than Bosco.

Emily blinked a few times as the car rumbled up to 1636 York Ave. Bosco cut the engine and for a moment they sat there in silence. Glancing up at the building, Emily was filled with a sudden sense of unfamiliarity. Silently, she wondered if this place would ever feel like home again. As they sat there the entire world continued on as if nothing unusual had happened today.

It was beginning to get cold in the car as Emily's focus shifted to Bosco in the front seat. She watched the rhythmic rise and fall of this chest as his breath crystallized in the cold night air. A small ring of steam was beginning to form on the driver's side window as Bosco vacantly gazed at the steering wheel. Emily couldn't help but to notice the fine trembling in his hands as they rested on the console. She wondered if she should say something. As Emily began to open her mouth, she quickly realized that she had no idea what to say so she blurted out the first thing that came to her mind.

"Are you going to work tomorrow?" Bosco shook his head, he heard Emily's voice but he couldn't remember what she had said.

"What?" His voice was barely above a whisper as he turned around to look at the young girl.

His gaze suddenly made Emily feel uncomfortable like she had just intruded on something that she wasn't meant to see or hear. In reality, her feelings were not misplaced as she had just unknowingly intruded on Bosco's private world of grief. "I…um…I just wondered if you were going to work tomorrow?"

Work? She wanted to know if he was going to work tomorrow. The whole concept seemed pretty surreal right now. Frankly, Bosco couldn't imagine going to work without Faith tomorrow or any other day. "I don't really know, Emily. I don't know what happens in these situations….I…um." He had no idea what to say. He just didn't know.

Thankfully, Emily interjected before he could ramble anymore. "It's ok. I just wanted to know if you would be around if I wanted to talk to you or see you tomorrow." Tears began to spring up in Bosco's eyes. He was so completely touched by the fact that Emily wanted to see him again. It made him feel slightly hopeful to know that Emily did not blame him for what happened today.

It took Bosco a moment to find his voice, "Yeah, Em. I'll be around tomorrow." They exchanged sad smiles before Bosco decided that it was time to turn his attention back to the task at hand. "Well, I think it's time to get you back to your daddy." Sliding out of the car, Bosco opened the back door and extended his hand to Emily. As he started toward the front door, he realized that someone was pulling him in the opposite direction. Emily tugged his arm, as she stood steadfast on the sidewalk. Bosco gave her a quizzical look before talking a few steps back. Letting go of his hand, Emily opened her arms suggesting that she wanted him to hug her. Bosco smiled at his partner's daughter as he squatted down so that he was eye level with her. The young girl wrapped her arms around him and in his ear she whispered, "My mommy said you were her best friend. She said she trusted you. What happened wasn't your fault."

Bosco allowed his eyes to slide close as he wrapped his arms around Emily's tiny body. Exhaling slowly he truly believed that he was with Faith in that moment. Emily sounded like her, she felt like her, she smelled like her. Bosco's heart pounded in his ears as time slowed down. He had never had an out of body experience but he thought that this was the closest he had ever come. He wasn't himself and Emily wasn't herself and they weren't on the sidewalk at three in the morning holding onto each other for dear life. Bosco had his arms around Faith and she was safe and they had no idea that anything bad was ever going to happen. He felt warm and satisfied and happy.

Reality slowly crept back into his world as coldness began to travel up his spine. Emily loosed her grip and began to pull back as Bosco's eyes fluttered open. He inhaled sharply as a heavy weight seemed to settle on his chest. They were back on the sidewalk at the three in the morning staring at each other like they had just met. Bosco offered the young girl a sad smile before struggling to his feet. Holding his hand out he gestured for Emily to follow him, "C'mon. Let's go inside."

Emily didn't speak as she quietly followed Bosco upstairs. The apartment building was silent this time of day. It made Bosco feel self-conscious, if there were some noise he might have felt like he could blend into the background. Even though there was no one there but him and Emily, Bosco felt like everyone was watching him, whispering, wondering how he could have let something happen to Faith. Pulling Emily down the hallway a little faster, Bosco suddenly wanted to get the hell out of there. As they rounded the corner, Bosco could hear a voice coming from the end of the hallway. The closer that he got, he was able to recognize the voice as Fred's. An abrupt wave of nausea came over Bosco as he heard Fred frantically yelling behind the door. If he thought things were bad before, they were about to get a whole lot worse.

Emily stared at Bosco frozen in front of her apartment door. She heard her daddy yelling but didn't understand why Bosco wouldn't knock on the door. Dropping her backpack to the floor, Emily rummaged in the pocket for her key. She glanced at Bosco, who was still staring at the door dumfounded, before sliding her key into the doorknob. Snapping out of his stupor, Bosco's heart began to pound. As Emily swung the door open, a very upset and frantic Fred Yokas was revealed sitting on the couch. When he saw his young daughter come through the door, he dropped the phone and ran to her side.

"Jesus Christ, Emily! Where were you?" Hugging the girl tightly to his chest, his eyes drifted toward the door. He had his answer. Jumping to his feet, Fred charged toward the door. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Surprised by her father's reaction, Emily rushed between Bosco and Fred. "It's not his fault, Daddy! I ran away. I wanted so see Uncle Bosco." Bosco took a few steps back into the hallway, if Fred was going to beat him he wasn't going to fight back. He didn't have the strength; physically or emotionally. Thankfully, Fred backed away as his gaze turned toward Emily.

"You ran away to see Bosco?" His confusion was apparent.

"You told me Mommy wasn't coming home, and I didn't believe you so I went to ask Uncle Bosco." Fred's expression softened as he slid to his knees.

"Oh honey, I'm sorry. That was my fault. But, Emily, you can't run off like that! Something could have happened to you!"

Bosco felt uncomfortable standing there, like he was intruding on something that he shouldn't see. His palms were sweating as he rubbed them against his jeans. Throwing a glance toward the hallway, he wondered if he should take off. Suppressing that notion, he turned back toward Emily and Fred.

"But, Daddy! I was with Uncle Bosco. You know he wouldn't let anything happen to me." Inwardly, Bosco smiled while Fred outwardly cringed.

"Ok, honey. You go get in bed and we'll talk about this tomorrow." Waving good-bye to Bosco, Emily disappeared down the hallway. Nausea again took over Bosco's senses as Fred turned toward him. Pushing Bosco further out into the hallway, Fred stepped out closing the door behind him. "Thank you…for bringing her home."

Relief washed over Bosco maybe this wasn't going to be so bad after all. Seeing the relaxation in Bosco's face, Fred leaned in close and in a whisper said, "This is still all your fault, Bosco. If you were a better partner, Faith would still be alive." Bosco's heart shattered into a million pieces. He couldn't meet Fred's eyes as he kept his gaze averted toward the floor. He stayed there staring at his shoes until Fred turned and went back into the apartment. Bosco jumped as Fred slammed the door shut. He needed to get out of there.

Bosco sat behind the wheel of his Mustang. He had no idea how he got there as his mind was everywhere but the present. Looking around, the street was deserted. How did he get here? What did he do wrong? This couldn't be his life. It had to be a bad dream. Shaking his head side to side, he knew it wasn't true. It couldn't be true. He wasn't always a good person but he was never really a bad person either. This couldn't be happening to him. In a daze Bosco started the car and pointed it back toward his lonely apartment.

Thirty minutes later he was lying in bed staring up at the ceiling. Fred's words echoed in his brain over and over. 'If you were a better partner, Faith would still be alive'. Rolling over on his side, Bosco's eyes fell on the bathroom door. He could be lying in the bathtub dead right now. Brains splattered all over white tiles, gun in his lap. That would have been the end of Maurice Boscorelli. If Emily had only been two minutes longer, he would be dead right now. Just like her mother, Bosco now owed Emily his life. He couldn't believe that in a moment of grief and anger he was going to so something so stupid and so selfish. He still wanted to die, there was no doubt about that, but in his heart he knew suicide was wrong. No matter how much this hurt, he vowed that he wouldn't let things go that far ever again. He was better than that.

Flipping onto his back, Bosco knew that sleep was impossible. The red numbers on his clock glowed four am. Throwing the covers off, he paced around the bedroom eventually stopping in front of the window. Bosco leaned his head against the windowpane as the coolness soothed his throbbing temples. Allowing his eyes to drift shut, his mind vacillated between images of Faith lying dead in the ER, and himself shot in the head in the bathtub. His ears were filled with Faith's terrified screams and Fred's haunting words. His body ached with soreness from the accident as well as the beating Fred gave him. Bosco's eyes snapped open as his heart rate quickened with anxiety. Nervously, he walked to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. He wasn't even hungry; he really didn't know why he was standing there right now. Shutting the door, he bent over resting his head on the countertop. Images of his wrecked RMP and Faith's dead body flashed through his mind. It caused him to jump back abruptly as his heart rate quickened. Bosco paced around the kitchen, his hands were shaking. He needed to get out of there.

Fifteen minutes later Bosco was merging onto East River Drive. The road was deserted this time of day. Given the events of earlier, one might think that Bosco would be too rattled to drive. On the contrary, however, the slight level of attentiveness required to operate a vehicle kept his mind off of everything else. Passing the exit for the Queensboro Bridge, Bosco didn't really have any idea where he was going. Briefly, he considered going to his mother's house. They weren't really on good terms, though, after what had happened the week before at the textile factory. He also didn't think he had the strength to recount the day's events. He didn't want to be alone but he also didn't want to have to explain himself to anyone. He didn't want to feel anyone judging him. He wanted to talk to Faith. He wanted her to comfort him. He just wanted her to listen.

Bosco merged onto the Long Island Expressway toward Queens. When he was kid and he needed to get away there was always one place that he went. Rockaway Beach was the eastern most part of Queens. A narrow strip of land that was just a few miles from JFK airport, it was usually crowded during the summer but would undoubtedly be deserted in the middle of February.

The city lights began to dim as Bosco sailed along Cross Bay Boulevard. The marshes on either side of the highway glimmered in the moonlight. The quietness of the passing scenery calmed his nerves, as his mind was thankfully vacant at the moment. Memories of his childhood began to bubble to the surface. One night when he was about ten years old and their father was in rare form, he and Mikey escaped the house and got on the A train to Rockaway Beach. Sleeping bags in hand, they definitely drew some questioning glances. They didn't care, though, the quietness and serenity of the deserted beach would be like a soothing balm to their frayed nerves. That night they rolled their sleeping bags out under the stars and watched as the planes took off from JFK. The warm summer breeze coming off the ocean ruffled their hair as they made up stories about the people on those planes. That night in mid July so many years ago was still a memory that he often reminisced about.

Bosco slowed the car to stop in one of the parking spaces along the boardwalk. He breathed a sigh of relief as not another person was in sight. For a few moments he just sat there in the car, staring out at the ocean. Slowly, he climbed out of the car and walked toward the beach. The sand felt soft under his tennis shoes as he walked toward the water. The wind swirled around him as a chill settled over his body. The beach hadn't been combed in months as dried wood and garbage was strewn about. Bosco walked a little closer to the water before finding a clear spot on the sand. He sat down in the darkness. Squinting his eyes, he could barely make out the waves lapping against the shore. Sighing deeply Bosco rested his head against his knees.

" _Bosco I really need to talk to you,"_ her words came out disjointed as the RMP bounced roughly across potholes and uneven patches in the road. Faith reached up and held tightly onto the 'oh shit' handle above her head. Her seat belt held her snugly in place as she cast a glance in Bosco's direction. He wasn't even wearing a seat belt. Something bad was going to happen.

Bosco couldn't help but to feel annoyed. _"Jesus Christ, Faith, can't this wait until later? I don't want to hear about Fred when we're on our way to a call!"_ They were some of the angriest words that he had ever spoken to her. They were words that he would later regret.

Bosco's blinked his eyes a couple of times as tears began to spring up involuntarily. What did she want to tell him and why didn't he just take the time to listen? She meant the world to him and he couldn't even give her two minutes. Why was he always in such a hurry? He always had to bet he first to a call. He always had to be the best. But he never realized what the cost of that would be.

 _"Bosco…"_ It was slow and drawn out and excruciatingly painful to listen to. In the hazy light under Jimmy's coat, Faith thought she heard Bosco sniffled a little. It was impossible that he could be crying. She had never even seen him close to that kind of emotion. Maybe her ears were playing tricks on her.

 _"Yeah…"_ It was quiet and strained and she barely heard it. At this point Faith was so weak and in so much pain that it was impossible to do anything but moan. _"Hang in there, Faith. It won't be much longer…"_ His voice trailed off. Really, he had no idea how long it was going to be. He hoped it wouldn't be much longer because, really, his partner didn't have much longer.

The moment that Bosco laid eyes on Faith, he knew in his heart that she wasn't going to make it. He didn't want to believe it but inevitably he knew that it would be true. Tears were running down his face now as a quiet sob escaped his lips. Fingering his face, he remembered how Faith's hair felt pressed against his cheek in the car. He remembered how it felt to have her body leaning against his in the car. Warm and pulsing with agony, he could practically feel the fear in her. More than anything, though, he remembered how her hand felt in his. They were both trembling and cold although the feeling of her fingers looped through his felt strangely warm and comforting. His body was now shaking with sobs as he rocked back and forth in the sand. "Oh God, Faith...I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

 _"Oh God…what's happening? Why does it hurt so much, Bosco?"_ He had no answer for her and it killed him. Bosco could only stare at her, his face wretched with guilt and sadness.

 _"I'm here, Faith. I promise I won't leave."_ Tears sprung up in her eyes. She wasn't going to make it. She could feel it in every bone of her body. This was it.

Sobbing loudly, Faith shook her head from side to side. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. _"Oh Bosco! I'm not going to make it. I'm not."_ Her face was a runny mixture of tears and blood as she searched for an answer to her seemingly impossible problem.

When Bosco heard the sincerity in her words, he started to cry. He didn't know what else to do. Rubbing his fingers across her cheek he could not find any words to make this right. He couldn't say everything was going to be ok, because at this point he honestly didn't believe it would be.

 _"I'm here, Faith. I'm here._ "

Her vision was getting hazy, and this time Faith didn't think she would be coming back. _"I'll miss you Bosco…"_ Suddenly, she was gasping for air. The room went dark as she heard a high -pitched wail.

Bosco held his head in his hands, as he was unable to control the grief pouring out of his heart. He would do anything right now to bring her back. If only it were yesterday or the day before or any day but today. The inky ocean was blurred with the shore as tears continued to roll down his cheeks. This wasn't how it was supposed to be.

Taking a few deep breaths, Bosco felt weak. He was emotionally and physically wrung out. Lying back on the sand, a chill ran up his spine and caused him to shiver. He blinked his eyes a few times as he focused on the night sky. The stars were beginning to fade as dawn was about to break. Somewhere behind him, Bosco heard the roar of a jet as it climbed into the sky. Watching as his breath crystallized in the cold air, he felt the ground shake as the enormous plane thundered toward the Atlantic. He wondered where they were going, who they were, and if there was anyone in this whole world who hurt as much as he did right now.

* * *

Bosco wasn't the only one who couldn't get any sleep. After getting home last night John Sullivan found himself pacing around his small apartment. Faith was close friend and he was shaken by her death. Sully had known Faith since she came on with the department as a rookie. Beyond Faith, though, the whole event reminded him too much of the night Ty Davis Sr. was murdered.

Concluding that he would get no sleep, Sully left the house and began walking. He briefly thought about calling Bosco to see if he wanted any company but then decided against that after remembering what happened at the hospital. Even he couldn't believe that Swersky had handcuffed Bosco to the bed. It was ultimate form of betrayal and although he wasn't directly responsible, he was still pretty sure that the situation had broken Bosco's trust.

Sully wasn't sure how long he walked around but eventually he found himself sitting behind the counter of a twenty four-hour diner. Absent-mindedly he stirred a cup of coffee. He remembered the night Ty was killed as if it were only yesterday. Although he wished that he could forget all the horrible detail, it would always be there, etched in his memory. Now he would need to make room for another terrible tragedy.

Sighing, Sully couldn't believe that Bosco would be so careless. Sure, Bosco was a big mouth but Sully had never known him to be careless, especially when Faith was around. Everyone knew that intersection was dangerous, how could he not stop? At the accident Sully had overheard a rather eager Brian Jackson filling the Lieutenant in on every detail leading up to the crash. Jackson…Sully didn't really know Brian Jackson all that well. He seemed very disconnected; like this was just a job and not a family. He came at three and left at eleven, nothing extra. He usually didn't get involved in anything that he wasn't forced to. Taking a sip of his coffee, Sully decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. Some guys just kept to themselves, it didn't mean they were bad people.

Sully exhaled as he saw the dim light of dawn begin to fill the street. The next few days were going to be hard. Anytime an officer dies on the job there are numerous inquests, IAB shows up, and of course there is the funeral. Sully hoped that Bosco would be able to keep it together. Everyone is close with their partner but Bosco and Faith were something special. They had been together since the first day of the academy, and Sully wasn't sure that Bosco knew how to do this job without Faith by his side. The bell on the diner door rang as a newspaper carrier dropped a stack of Posts on the counter. He already knew what they were going to say, yet he had to look anyway. On the front page was a picture of twisted metal and shattered glass barely recognizable as 55-David and a headline that read, 'NYPD Officer Dies in Tragic Accident.' At the corner of the page was Faith's official NYPD photograph, taken of all officers the day they graduate from the academy.

'Oh…Faith. This wasn't supposed to happened to you.' Sully silently stared at the photo thinking about his fallen friend.

_"Sully, can I ask you a question?" Putting his fork down, Sully wiped his mouth before regarding Faith with a sense of curiosity. He thought that something might be going on with her. Last night after the shift when he and Davis passed her sitting in the RMP she definitely looked rattled._

_"Sure, Faith." Pushing his own plate away, Sully leaned back as he waited for her to continue._

_Faith appeared to be choosing her words carefully until she shook her head and just blurted it out, "What would you do if you thought someone was dirty?"_

What if Faith had known something that she shouldn't have known? Ty knew too much, that's why he was killed. What if the same thing has happened to Faith? Shaking his head, Sully didn't want to believe that another cop could be responsible for what happened. Leaning back in his chair, he finished his coffee. It just couldn't be. Faith wasn't shot or beaten; she died in a car accident. Sully stood up from his stool and threw a five-dollar bill on the counter. The sun was up now and he should be getting home. Glancing at the newspaper again he repeated to himself, "It was only an accident."

* * *

The sun had crested the horizon and was now casting a warm glow on Rockaway Beach. Bosco's eyes flickered in the light. He was so exhausted that he fell asleep on the beach in the middle of winter. Struggling to sit up, he had never been more sore in his entire life. He almost couldn't move. In addition to the car accident and Fred's beating, he had also fallen asleep on the ground in thirty-degree temperatures. It took him a considerable amount of time to make it to his feet as he felt like an old man. Bosco didn't think it was possible to fall asleep when you are so cold. Shivering he wrapped his coat tightly around him. His throat ached as he took a few short steps toward his car.

Walking across the beach alone, Bosco marveled at how emotionally numb he felt. While his body raged with pain, his heart was frozen. He didn't feel anything at all. Maybe he had got it all out last night. Shaking his head, he didn't think that he had ever cried so much in all his life. Starting the car, he felt a sense of loneliness come over him. He would undoubtedly be summoned to the precinct today to give his account of yesterday's events to any number of bosses, IAB, and God knows who else. He thought that he had a family in the NYPD but last night he was proven wrong. His friends…the Lieutenant….they handcuffed him to a bed like some skel. It made him sick. He trusted them and they betrayed him when he needed them most.

Bosco guided his car back onto the Long Island Expressway toward home as he continued to ruminate. In all his life, he had never felt so alone. His mother was upset with him because he beat her trash bag boyfriend up. His brother was probably snorting coke off some dirty sink in Brooklyn. His father wasn't even a factor, Bosco has gotten over being disappointed by that man a long time ago. His friends at work treated him like a criminal. His boss had him shackled to a bed. And his partner…his partner was dead, and he was the only one to blame. He had no one. He could trust no one. He was on his own.

Brian Jackson sat at the wooden table in the roll call room with his hands folded neatly and a polite smile on his face. In front of him were two IAB detectives, the captain, and Lieutenant Swersky. To his left was a large blackboard with a chalk drawn account of yesterday's events. He made sure that he was the first one at the precinct this morning so that his version of the truth set the table for the rest of the day. Geidel would say what he told him to say so that wasn't a concern. Sullivan and Davis showed up after the accident happened. Boscorelli was his only concern. Did Yokas tell him what she had seen? It would causes problems, but ultimately with Yokas dead it would be Jackson's word against Bosco's hearsay. It wasn't a desirable situation but he could handle it. Of course, if Bosco knew the truth he would probably try to kill him and that did worry Jackson. In his opinion, Boscorelli was just crazy enough to do it. There was also a chance that Bosco didn't know anything and was blaming himself right now. That would be perfect for Jackson. With Bosco putting all the blame on himself, who would think to look at him?

"Officer Jackson, please tell us what you did when you saw Officer Boscorelli drive past you just before the intersection of Lexington Ave and FDR Drive?" The captain rested his chin on his hand as he narrowed his eyes.

Clearing his throat, Jackson made sure to organize all the lies in his head before speaking. "Well sir. My partner and I were just finishing a job in the area of Asterisk Way…"

The IAB detective interjected, "For the record, Officer please state where Asterisk Way is located."

"Oh…um…sorry about that. Asterisk Way is an alley that is approximately two blocks east of Lexington and FDR Drive. When Officer Geidel and I returned to our unit, we heard a call of shots fired that was immediately picked up by 55-David." Lieutenant Swersky shook his head, Bosco was playing super cop just like he thought. "Seeing as how our sector borders with 55-David, we decided to back up that unit. I could hear 55-David's sirens approached so I stopped at the end of the alley and waited for them to pass us on Lexington." Jackson paused for a moment; this was easier than he thought! "I then saw Officer Boscorelli pass us at a high rate of speed." That's right, Bosco, you reckless bastard. I'm going to bury you before you even set foot in here. "When I saw 55-David go past I pulled my own unit out into traffic with the appropriate lights and sirens and began to follow. As 55-David approached the intersection I noted that traffic was still moving through so I slowed my unit down, anticipating that Officer Boscorelli would do the same. When he continued to travel through the intersection without slowing down I assumed that he saw it was clear and then I left off my brakes and followed him. Our unit rear ended 55-David after the collision with the truck." That sounded so nice that Jackson couldn't think of one reason for them not to believe him. He couldn't have said it any better even if he had told the truth. Smiling at the investigators, Jackson was exceptionally pleased with himself.

Lieutenant Swersky sat back in his seat as the others at the table scribbled notes down onto their pads. He just couldn't believe that Bosco would be so careless. He was still young but nonetheless considered a veteran with nearly six years of experience. Bosco was a big mouth, a super cop, and a bigot but he was always a good partner and he always took care of Faith.

"Ok, Officer Jackson I think that about covers it." Standing up from the table, Jackson pushed the chair in and walked casually from the room. They were planning to talk to Geidel later, but Jackson had no worries about that. He had spent most of the night going over what they would say with his partner. He knew that Geidel was unhappy about their situation but what other option did they have? Their entire existence balanced on secrets and lies. They couldn't start telling the truth now. That would only get them one place…jail. Geidel would do exactly what he told him to do; he had no doubt about that.

Jackson was walking across the parking lot when he spotted Bosco coming his way. The young man appeared slightly disheveled. His uniform was only half buttoned, revealing a white t-shirt underneath. His hair was unkempt and his face was unshaven. As he got closer Jackson made eye contact and offered a slight smile. A test, if you will, to see if Bosco could possibly know something. They made brief eye contact and Bosco managed a slight nod. His face was vacant of all emotion and his eyes were blood shot. If he ever saw a tortured soul it was Boscorelli. Glancing over his shoulder, Jackson watched as Bosco struggled up the precinct steps. There was no way he knew anything. He would have gouged his eyes by now if he has any idea what happened. This was working out better than he ever could have hoped.

The wooden chair felt uncomfortable and stiff against Bosco's aching body. He fidgeted as four pairs of eyes bored into him. To his left was a blackboard with the whole event played out in white chalk. He couldn't look at it. Keeping his eyes focused on the tape recorder in front of him, he bounced his leg nervously under the table. The recorder clicked on, this was it.

"Officer Boscorelli, let me first begin by extending my sympathies to you. Officer Yokas was an exceptional police officer and I was deeply saddened to learn of her death." Bosco's eyes briefly flickered to the captain before settled back on the tape recorder. He heard the words but they had no meaning. In the last twelve hours he built a wall around his heart so high and so deep that no one would be able to get through for a long time. "Unfortunately there are several matters that must be addressed. First, we would like your account of the accident."

Bosco took a deep breath, he wasn't sure if what he remembered was even the truth. "Yesterday Faith and I were on our way back to the station when I heard a call of shots fired go out over the radio. I immediately turned our unit around and headed back toward the east end of the precinct. The call was just past the intersection of Lexington Ave and FDR Drive. I was driving and we were about to cross Lexington but I saw traffic still moving in both directions."

The captain stopped him, "For the record officer your lights and sirens were on and working?"

"Yes sir, we were going Code Three the whole way. I knew the intersection was dangerous so I thought I slowed down."

The IAB detective interjected abruptly, "You thought you slowed down? What does that mean, Officer Boscorelli?"

Bosco stared at the man vacantly, "It means I'm not sure if I slowed down or not. I thought I did at the time."

The Captain then took his turn, "Officer Jackson, whose unit was directly behind yours, states that you did not slow down at the intersection." Bosco's mind was swimming, he remembered hitting the brakes, he knew at least he tried, even if it was too late. He began second guessing himself under the penetrating stares of the four men in front of him.

"I guess I didn't then. I don't know. All I remember is a crash from behind and then the truck came. I can't remember though, everything happened so fast." Bosco was waffling just enough for them to believe Jackson's account over his.

The captain was jotting some notes down before he looked up, "So let me get this straight, Officer Boscorelli. You're telling me that you braked at the intersection and then was hit from behind before you were hit by the truck."

"I guess. I'm not sure, sir. I'm sorry." Bosco hung his head, everything seemed all jumbled up in his brain right now. He wasn't sure of anything.

"That's interesting, because Officer Jackson's account of the accident is much different. He clearly remembers you not stopping at the intersection. He also said that he hit you after the truck did."

Bosco just wanted this to be over. No matter what the outcome, Faith would still be dead. So who really cares what happens to him? "I guess that's what happened then." When would this be over? The Captain nodded and sat back scribbling on his pad again. Next it was Swersky's turn.

"If that's all that you need, I would like to talk to Officer Boscorelli privately in my office." The Captain and IAB nodded as Bosco was relieved to be finished. He followed Swersky silently across the hallway, taking extra measures to avoid having to look at the blackboard. Once they were alone in Swersky's office, Bosco was reminded of another unpleasant aspect of last night. "Bosco, this matter with you pulling the gun at the hospital still isn't over. Dr. Fields wants to press charges against you for aggravated assault. That's felony, Bosco. It could be the end of your career."

Bosco shrugged as he leaned against the wall. What career? He didn't care about anything right now. "Well, if that's what has to be done, Lieu. I did it. I can't change it now."

Swersky was slightly alarmed by Bosco's indifference. Normally, a conversation like this would have contained numerous expletives and protests from the young officer. Shaking his head in frustration, Swersky regarded Bosco in a softer tone, "Look, Bosco, I don't condone what you did but I understand it. I want you to know that I'm going to do everything I can to get him to drop the charges. It's the least I can do after…" Swersky trailed off, but Bosco knew what he was talking about. The cuts on his wrists were a bitter reminder of how he was betrayed by the only real family he ever knew.

Nodding a little, Bosco wanted to be done. "Is that it, Lieu?" He was already heading toward the door.

"Yeah, you can go." Bosco had the door half open when he heard Swersky's voice again, "Call me if you need anything, Bosco." He couldn't turn and face him. He needed something last night. He needed someone to be there for him after he had just seen his partner stripped naked lying dead on a stretcher.

Bosco walked out of the precinct and to his car as fast as he could. He had nowhere to be, he just didn't want to be there. The streets were jammed with morning traffic and it took him a while to get home. Walking down the street in front of his apartment he stopped in front of a stand selling the Post. The blood drained from his face when his eye caught the cover. Picking the paper up he brought it up to his face staring at the twisted heap of metal that was once 55-David. He read the headline over and over as if he couldn't understand English. His eyes then drifted down to Faith's photo in the bottom left corner. It was taken on graduation day.

" _Do I look ok?" Faith was primping herself in one of the glass trophy cases of the Police Academy Gym._

_Bosco rolled his eyes, women and their hair. He would never understand it. "Of course you do."_

_Faith slapped him "You didn't even look!" They were waiting in line to get their official NYPD photos taken. The photos were used for official purposes such as identification of officers when they do something good or bad in the newspaper or on the news. The photos were also used when an Officer dies in the line of duty. Faith wasn't concerned about any of that, though. She was excited. Today she would graduate from the academy and be a real New York City Police Officer. "I'm excited, Bosco! We're real cops after today."_

_Bosco snorted and offered a characteristically sarcastic remark, "No, you're a real cop after today. I was a real cop when I got here." Faith rolled her eyes. Bosco smiled, he knew she found him amusing. "So did you find a partner, yet?"_

_Faith grew slightly more serious, "No, I haven't found anyone, yet."_

_Bosco suddenly looked uncomfortable, "Do you maybe want to be my partner?"_

_Faith was stunned. She figured a showboat like Boscorelli would want some guy who was built like a brick shithouse backing him up. She thought about it for a minute. Although he did get on her nerves sometimes, she did have to admit that they worked well together. Smiling, Faith shrugged her shoulders, "Sure." Bosco grinned. That was easier than he thought._

_The photographer motioned Faith over as Bosco watched her sit down in front of the camera. Straightening her uniform one last time, she smiled. Bosco smiled as he watched her and thought, 'My partner'. The camera flash went off and his daydream faded to reality._

"Hey, buddy you gonna pay for that or what?" The man at the stand looked at Bosco incredulously. Bosco's face registered no emotion as he threw a couple of bucks on the counter. Folding the newspaper under his arm he walked toward his building in silence.

Above Lyrics are from Lifehouse's "Broken"

Please Review!


	7. The Other Side

"Last Exit to Brooklyn"

Author: carmen_085

Disclaimer: All Third Watch characters are property of NBC. All original characters belong to me

Summary: After a terrible tragedy changes his life, Bosco goes undercover to find redemption and justice in the most unlikely of places

Author's Note: Thank you all for being patient. I suck at updates. Hope the angst in this one is worth the wait. Also please review!

Chapter Seven

"How long, how long will I slide?

Separate my side

I don't, I don't believe it's bad

Slit my throat, it's all I ever"

* * *

In the days after Faith's death Bosco began to realize several things. The most pervasive of these thoughts; however, was the fact that without the Job his life didn't have much meaning. If he wasn't a cop…what was he? As the second day of his life without Faith faded to night, he began to realize that the answer to that question was not much at all. Without the Job he had nowhere to go and no one to see. Taking a long, slow sip of Jim Beam, Bosco rested his head against the wall. The apartment was dark except for thin rays of streetlight that crept through the blinds. Bosco's fingers peeled back the label on the whiskey bottle as his anxious mind skipped from one memory to the next. Grinding his fist into the wooden floor, Bosco wished for something that he never thought he would wish for. He wished that he had never met Faith. He wished she were just some stranger he read about in the newspaper. He wished that his life had taken any path but his own. Anything would be easier than this because this was the hardest thing he had ever done.

Bosco blinked a few times. He felt so empty and so alone. He had never felt this way before. Tracing circles on the floor with his finger, he wondered if he would feel this way for the rest of his life. Bosco tilted the Jim Beam back until the last few drops slid over his tongue and burned the back of his throat. Pushing the empty bottle aside he looked around his dark, lonely apartment. He needed to go somewhere.

Pulling his cell phone out of his pocket, Bosco flipped it open. No missed calls and no messages. He didn't really want to talk to anyone right now but it would have been nice if someone had at least made the effort. He was like a pariah. No one wanted to get too close for fear that his innate knack to completely screw everything up might be contagious. Struggling to his feet, he stood there staring at the empty liquor bottle on the floor. Bosco balled his fists tightly, he was just so mad. He wasn't a horrible person. Why did this have to happen to him? After his childhood, he never thought he would find anything that felt right, but then he found Faith. Everything about their friendship was right and good and the way the world was supposed to be. And now it was gone forever. He was so mad; he didn't deserve this! Setting his sights on the empty bottle, he kicked it as hard as he could against the wall. Predictably, it shattered into a million pieces that scattered all over the wooden floor. Bosco doubled over, he wanted to scream; he wanted to cry; he wanted beat the living hell out of someone. Straightening up, he took a few deep breaths. His heart was racing and his hands were shaking. He had to go. Grabbing his coat and his keys he headed toward the door.

The cold February rain pelted his face as he stepped out of his building onto the street. Bosco had been nursing that bottle of whiskey for hours and was too intoxicated to drive, although that didn't stop the idea from entering his mind. Running his fingers over the keys to his mustang he reluctantly dismissed the idea. The last thing he wanted to do was kill another innocent person with his poor judgment. Tightening the collar of his coat, he began walking toward the subway. Within minutes he was completely soaked and freezing. Quickly deciding that walking would not work, Bosco hurried toward the subway stairs. Descending carefully, the narrow walkway was dilapidated and very slippery. Riding the subway wasn't exactly his style, but he didn't really care anymore.

The platform was mostly deserted save for a few commuters scattered about. Making a conscious effort to avoid all other human beings, Bosco sat down in the furthest corner. Hugging his cold, wet body he shivered uncontrollably. Thankfully, the extreme coldness had momentarily numbed his weary mind. Bosco's eye drifted around the station taking in the visual stimuli, although, not really processing them. It was an unexpected, yet welcomed moment of peace. His teeth chattered loudly as he stared at the LED sign above the rails. "Next 'A' train to Brooklyn, 3 minutes."

Rocking back and forth slight, Bosco's brain began to refocus itself as his coherent thought processes unfortunately resumed. Blinking a few times he focused on the white tiles in front of him. They were slightly brown and in need of a good power washing. In the middle of the station the white tiles changed to red and blue and they spelled out 86th street on the wall. His mind flashed back to the bathtub two nights ago. He was still wearing the bloody t-shirt he held Faith against that afternoon. His hair was matted to his forehead and dried blood was caked to the side of his face. His eyes did not betray a single emotion. Bosco was dead in that moment.

Still shivering slightly his eyes remain transfixed on the red tiles as tears began to spring up involuntarily. The red blurred into the white as Bosco watched himself press the barrel of the Glock against his temple. The metal felt cold and final against his skin. He felt his finger wrapped around the trigger. The subway station began to rumble as the A Train approached the station. Bosco didn't hear it, though; he was completely immersed in his own painful movie. More pressure was applied to the trigger as the station began to rattle. Bosco had never felt so hopeless. He could never understand how someone could take their own life until now. Squeezing his eyes shut, Bosco pulled the trigger. An explosion resounded in his mind as the A train burst into the station. Jumping to his feet in a mix of surprise and terror, Bosco's heart was racing as he gasped for air. He didn't realize how close he had really come to going all the way. Mere seconds were all that separated him from this moment and being dead in the city morgue. Then another, more terrifying thought crossed his mind: who would have found him? If Emily had been only a few minutes later would it have been her that found him laying in the bathtub with his blood and brains splattered all over the walls. His mind flickered to an image that shook him to the core. He could see himself laying there, his color was completely drained, his eyes stared straight ahead in a blank, dead stare, blood oozed from his nose, mouth, and ears. A small, perfectly shaped hole tattooed with a rim of black powder was the only aberration observed on his left side while the right side of his head was essentially missing. The right side of his face looked like it was melting without an underlying bone structure to keep it in place. Blood was splattered everywhere as it slowly dripped down the walls of the shower. And then there was Emily standing there staring at his dead body. When Bosco got into the bathtub two nights ago with the idea of ending his life, he never thought in a million years that Emily could be the one who would find him or for that matter save him. His eyes watched as the train sailed through the station. People's faces blended together in a blur, yet he felt like they were all staring at him incredulously as if they could read his thoughts and were saying, 'How could you be so stupid? So careless? So selfish?' Shaking his head, Bosco forced the image into the furthest reaches of his mind. It wasn't something that he wanted to think about, but it also wasn't something he wanted to forget.

The train screeched to a halt as he numbly stepped from the platform into the car. There were a few seats near the front that were unoccupied. Sitting down he crossed his arms over his chest, as he was careful not to make eye contact with anyone. "Please stand clear of the closing door." The automated voice commanded from the overhead speakers as the door shut and the train began pulling out of the station. As they began to pick up speed it sounded like they were traveling through an air vacuum. Bosco looked out the door that connected the cars and watched as the one in front of them bounced up and down. Turning his eyes back toward his shoes, he forced himself to stare at the worn Asics and think of nothing. He was so tired, he hadn't really been sleeping at all lately and when he managed to turn his frantic brain off for a few seconds, extreme exhaustion inevitably followed. The rhythm of the subway rocked him back and forth as his eyes drifted shut.

* * *

Brian Jackson reclined back at his kitchen table. His apartment was completely dark save for a few narrow bands of street light that crept through the blinds. Leaning back in the chair he propped his feet up in the table. Jackson took a long swig of his beer as he stared at the doorway in anticipation. His service piece lay on the table next to a huge stack of cash. His partner was supposed to be there thirty minutes ago and Jackson was not a very patient man. Drumming his fingers on the table he concentrated on the crack of light that illuminated under the doorway. A shadow paced back and forth on the other side of the door. Scowling, Jackson wished that he would have picked someone as cold and uncaring as he was to be his partner in crime. Geidel was too nervous as he needed an inordinate amount of reassuring to go through with anything. Jumping to his feet, Jackson flung the door open in disgust. It was no surprise that he found a very worried and upset looking Scott Geidel on the other side. Shaking his head he scolded his partner harshly, "Where the hell have you been? Jesus Christ get in here already!" Geidel blindly obeyed as he followed Jackson into the darkened apartment. Flicking on the overhead light, Jackson narrowed his eyes at his partner. "How did IAB go?"

Geidel nervously sat down at the table taking notice of not only the huge stack of cash in front of him but also his partner's gun. "It was ok. I told them what happened…"

Before he could finish Jackson was in his face, "You mean you told them what we discussed!"

Eyes wide, Geidel swallowed hard, "Yeah….Yeah I told them what we discussed." He paused with his mouth open for a few seconds. "I…I don't know if I can keep this up forever, Brian. It's just…it's wrong!" Jackson regarded his partner curiously, as if he were meeting him for the first time. Calmly, he sat down across the table from Geidel.

"Scott, telling the truth means going to jail forever. We both know that isn't an option. Now I know you're worried but we need to keep it together here. This is going to blow over, we just need to lay low for a little while," Jackson offered a reassuring although completely empty smile before leaning back in the chair, "Besides, they think it's all Boscorelli's fault anyway…"

Geidel sneered as he rocked up to his feet. "That's just the thing, Brian! I don't want to forget! I don't want to let it blow over. We killed Yokas…you and me. It's our fault not Bosco's!" Geidel picked up the bottle of beer on the table and threw it across the room. "I can't fucking believe we did this! We killed an innocent person for what? For this shit!" Geidel threw a wad of the cash across the room. Jackson calmly watched as thousands of dollars scattered across the floor like confetti. Geidel paused for a moment wondering if he had crossed a point of no return with his partner.

Jackson quietly regarded his partner for a moment before speaking in a low and threatening tone. "Get a hold of yourself, Scott. It's too late to change things now. We just need to calm down and…" Before he could finish Geidel blew up.

"Fuck you, Brian! This was all your idea, anyway! I'm not doing it anymore." With that he began walking toward the door. In a second Jackson was jacking him up against the wall.

"You listen to me and you listen to me good, Scott. If you think you're going anywhere with this you're wrong. I will kill you like the piece of shit that you are before I ever let that happen. Do you understand me?" Geidel felt something hard stuck into his ribs as he wiggled against his partner's grasp. It took him a few moments but he quickly realized that it was a gun. "I'll kill you, and I'll make it look just like Yokas. No one will ever know the difference." Scott began to shake under Jackson's glare. He had no choice. He already had undeniable proof that his partner would do absolutely anything to cover himself, even murder.

* * *

Bosco's head jerked up as the subway car glided to a stop. The automated voice overhead announced that the stop was Nostrand Ave. Slightly panicked Bosco jumped up. He must have fallen asleep because he could have sworn that he just got on a minute ago and now he was already in Brooklyn. Still somewhat disoriented he exited the subway car and stepped onto the platform. The Nostrand Ave. stop was slightly more crowded than 86th street had been. Glancing around, Bosco realized that in he was in somewhat undesirable company. Young boys that were undoubtedly armed to the teeth eyed him suspiciously from underneath drawn hoodies as drunks and junkies scattered themselves in the background. Bosco subconsciously patted his back pocket. Good, his wallet was still there. Drawing his hoodie up around his neck he hurried toward the stairs and up to the street. The rain had subsided to a slight drizzle. Checking his watch he realized that it was nearly one am. Bosco's shoes squeaked slightly on the wet pavement as he walked down Nostrand Ave toward Fulton Street. The area was on the fringes of Bed-Sty, one of the most dangerous areas in New York. Sketchy characters were abound as Bosco stepped his pace up slightly. Consciously he had no idea where he was going but subconsciously his memory was leading him to a familiar place.

Jack's was a dive bar on Nostrand Ave that he had been to a few times. It was normally frequented by locals, which, in this neighborhood, meant common criminals. Drugs and even a few guns were know to exchange hands at Jacks in either the bathroom or behind the bar in the alley. It wasn't really a place that an officer of the law should frequent but Bosco was drawn here for other reasons.

The neon sign outside of Jack's flickered the word open in bright red letters. Stepping inside, it took Bosco's eyes a moment to adjust to the smoky, barroom lighting. Despite being late, the place was nearly full. Carefully weaving through people, he found what he was looking for. A young man sat at the bar staring blindly into a full glass of beer. A half smoked cigarette was pinched between his thumb and index finger . "Hey Mikey. Long time no see."

Mikey spun around in his chair, "Whoa! What are you doing here, Maurice?" Bosco couldn't help but to notice the fact that his brother was completely stoned. Sliding onto the barstool next to Mikey, Bosco wondered if he knew Faith was dead. Surely, he had to have heard something. Shaking his head, Bosco decided to pretend like everything was all right even when he knew nothing was all right. "Oh just wanted to see my brother. Something wrong with that?" Mikey looked slightly confused initially and this hurt Bosco's feelings whether he would admit it or not. He and Mikey used to be so close and now here he was sitting in some shit hole looking at a cracked out, emotionally numb version of the little brother he tried to hard to protect. What was even worse than that was that Mikey seemed surprised that he would take the time to go out of his way to see him. Bosco quickly pushed those thoughts aside, however, as he had more than enough emotional baggage to contend with at the present moment. Ordering a whiskey straight up Bosco turned back toward his brother.

"I just wanted to see you. Can't I just want to see you?" He was rambling a little bit. The inordinate amount of whiskey that he already downed earlier in the night was still affecting him. Mikey took a long drag on his cigarette before eying his brother carefully.

"Is something wrong? Did something happen to Mom?" Bosco sucked the whiskey down faster than he intended to and his head was suddenly spinning. He didn't like the way these questions were going. Shaking his head, Bosco didn't want to open his mouth for fear of what might come out. Mikey wasn't entirely convinced by his brother's charade, although, he let it go for now. Tapping his cigarette on the ashtray, he eyed Bosco carefully. "So what's up with Steve?"

Bosco was already halfway through his second whiskey in ten minutes and it took him a minute to respond. "Oh yeah… Steve. I beat his ass." Shrugging his shoulders as if it were as routine as brushing his teeth, Bosco appeared completely unfazed by the Steve incident. Truth be told he couldn't careless about his mom's piece of shit boyfriend at the moment. Nothing that used to matter was important anymore.

Mikey raised an eyebrow as he took a nice long drag on his cigarette. He didn't really know what else to say. It was clear that his brother wasn't going to tell him why he was really there. Something was obviously eating Bosco alive, yet he either wouldn't or couldn't talk about it. Mikey felt a wave of sadness pass over him; they used to be so close.

Bosco's body began to tingle as he put away his third drink. He hadn't really sobered up from his first round earlier in the evening and at the rate he was currently drinking he was almost back to full-scale inebriation. He felt dizzy and awkward sitting there next to Mikey. They were brothers but they were also strangers. Each had taken a drastically different path in life and now they barely knew each other. Bosco sighed, at least it was better than being at home alone.

Out of the corner of his eye Bosco saw a man slide up next to Mikey at the bar. He didn't recognize him, although, Mikey seemed to know him quite well. Bosco didn't make any effort to introduce himself to the shady looking stranger. He wasn't really in the mood for socialization. "Hey, Mo this is my buddy JC," apparently Mikey thought otherwise. Offering a forced smile and a nod Bosco acknowledged the man's presence with a brief glance. He didn't need to be a cop to deduce that if you looked like this guy and hung out in a place like Jack's you were up to no good. Bosco had no doubt JC was some low life dealer that was feeding his little brother's crack habit, but he didn't really care.

"We'll be right back." Mikey and JC were already moving toward the back of the bar before Bosco realized that they had been talking to him. By that point he was completely trashed as the bar was spinning around him. Bosco closed his eyes, he suddenly felt sick. The bathroom in Jack's was in the far back corner and for a moment he thought that he might not make it and would throw up right in the middle of the bar. Pushing past groups of people he was only getting dizzier and more nauseas. Bosco burst through the bathroom door and made a beeline for one of the dirty stalls. Falling to his knees, he practically erupted with vomit all over the brown stained toilet. The sour taste of Jim Beam and stomach acid burned the back of this throat. Heaving over and over, Bosco felt like his insides were about to come shooting out of his mouth. Flushing the toilet, Bosco stood up on shaky legs. Sweat was rolling down his face as he wiped his forehead with the sleeve of his sweatshirt. Leaning against the cool metal door of the bathroom stall he exhaled deeply. He felt somewhat better although he was still completely smashed. Slowly, Bosco became aware of two voices in the bathroom. Opening the stall door, he was a little surprised to see Mikey and JC standing there. In his haste, Bosco failed to see them bent over the sink doing a line when he burst through the door.

"Hey, Mo. You ok?" Bosco eyed Mikey cautiously as he rinsed his mouth out in the sink.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Mikey's hands were shaking against the half drunk Miller Light in his hand, although, Bosco was too drunk to pick up on these subtleties. JC reached into his pocket and produced a dime bag worth of cocaine. Offering it to Bosco, he shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly, "This will make you feel better. Take it…on the house." Bosco eyed the bag of drugs indifferently. Two days ago he could have been outraged by this situation and probably would have arrested JC on the spot. But now…things were different. His career as a cop was not only in jeopardy but also completely meaningless. He had no one to rely on, and no one cared about him. His friends at work had turned their backs on him, his own mother wouldn't speak to him, and his partner…his best friend was dead. No one gave two shits about him. Thrusting the bag into Bosco's hand, JC added the final nail in the coffin. "Hey, hey it'll make you forget all your problems." An image of Faith's naked, dead body lying in the ER flashed through his mind. Shaking his head, he willed the image to leave as his fingers curled around the bag of cocaine. His mind's eye continued to focus on the one image he didn't want to see as her voice echoed in his ears, "Bosco! Where are you? It hurts so bad!"He just wanted to forget so much. Opening the bag of cocaine, he poured it out into a straight, neat line on a ledge above the sink. Mikey was a little surprised with what was going on and although he was high as could be, he felt compelled to intervene before his brother did something he would regret.

Touching Bosco's arm, he mustered all the sincerity he could, "Mo…don't." Shaking Mikey off, Bosco had already made up his mind. Still dizzy from all the booze, Bosco hit his head off the mirror as he bent over the ledge. Closing off one nostril, he snorted the line of coke in one breath. The pain in his nose was almost unbearable as he reflexively doubled over. Squeezing his nose, he instantly knew that he had made a mistake. Then, just as abruptly, as the pain had come it began to subside. His heart started to speed up and he began to sweat. His breath quickened as he felt a sudden surge of energy. JC laughed a little at the intensity of Bosco's reaction before gesturing toward the door.

"Lets get out of here." Bosco's whole body was shaking with a sense of excitement. He felt great. Stepping out into the bar, he saw the place with a new level of clarity. The haze of his drunkenness had given way to a feeling of hyper arousal. The colors of the neon signs seemed brighter and more vibrant. He thought he could discern the topic of every conversation going on at the same time. It was amazing; his mind had never felt so sharp.

"NYPD SHOW ME YOUR HANDS!" The world paused for a moment. Bosco's heart pumped loudly in his ears as he processed what was happening. Before he could react, bar patrons were pushing past him scattering every which way. It was instant chaos. Mikey grabbed him by the shirtsleeve and began dragging him toward the back door. Boscos's brain focused on one thing: get out! He felt like his feet couldn't move fast enough. His heart felt like a bag of worms in his chest as the combination of cocaine and extreme anxiety caused it to beat out of control. It was almost like someone was smothering him with a pillow as he struggled to get enough air. Bosco, Mikey and JC burst through the back door only to find four cops standing there with their guns drawn.

Bosco almost screamed. This was it. He had really fucked up now. There was no turning back from this. Not only was he going to lose what was left of his shitty career, he was also going to go to jail. What the hell had he been thinking? In the last two days he had succeeded in becoming everything that he hated. He had become a weak person.

"Stop right there!" Mikey and JC exchanged glances before raising their hands in the air. This was unknown territory for Bosco as he stood there dumbfounded. "What the hell is wrong with you!" One of the cop got into Bosco's face. "Let me see your goddamned hands!" Bosco's heart was pounding so loud he was worried that it might stop. He had never been so scared in his entire life. Raising his hands, he avoided eye contact with the enraged cop. Apparently, however, he was not quick enough for his captor as the butt of his service piece cracked the side of Bosco's skull. Instant pain radiated through his head as he crumpled to the ground in a moaning heap.

"Hey man… that wasn't necessary!" Mikey advanced toward the cop but was quickly shoved back in line.

"You want some too?" The angry cop that had just pistol-whipped Bosco stepped toward Mikey landing a punch directly in his gut. Doubling over, Mikey gasped for air as he struggled to regain his composure. JC didn't make a movement as the consequences of such an action were clearly outlined by the pain on Mikey's face. Bosco pushed himself up against the wall. Blood was running down the side of his face as he blinked rapidly. His head was pounding. Straightening himself he raised his arms as high as he could. In any other circumstance he would have fought back; submission was not in his nature, but even an idiot could see that they would not win this battle. So he stood there. He stood there like any other junkie praying that the police would just go away.

"All right, everyone turn around hands against the wall." Within seconds someone was forcing Bosco to turn around as he felt a rough pair of hands digging through his pockets. They found his wallet and threw it onto the car before moving on down the line to Mikey and JC. Spitting a mouthful of blood onto the pavement Bosco couldn't stop shaking. The sudden surge of adrenaline had caused a sheen of sweat to glaze his body making the night air feel ten times colder. His nose was running as he wiped it in the sleeve of his sweatshirt. "Ok, everyone turn around."

Two of the cops rummaged through the men's wallets stacking cash into one pile and drugs into another. They didn't seem to care that they had found cocaine on JC and Mikey. Bosco thought it strange that their main concern was not actually finding the drugs but figuring out how much there were. Bosco's mind was swimming with a million thoughts as he watch the angry cop rip through his wallet. Then a frightening thought entered his mind. His NYPD ID, where was it? Patting his pockets frantically, he almost went into a full-blown panic attack before he remembered that he left his ID and badge at home. Sighing loudly, he was relieved that this one instance of luck came at exactly the right time. He didn't even want to know what they would have done to him if they had known that he was cop. After throwing the eighty dollars Bosco had in his wallet onto the hood of the car, the angry cop came back over shining his light in Bosco's face. The brightness caused Bosco to blink a few times as he kept his eyes on the ground.

The cop took in Bosco's appearance. Blood ran down the side of his face collecting on the gray hood of his sweatshirt. His eyes were glassy and vacant as his nose continued to run. Small, rapid puffs of breath crystallized just beyond Bosco's nose as his entire body shook involuntarily. The cop laughed at him. "What did you do tonight, superstar?" Laughing he shook his head, "A little coke…maybe?" The cop tilted his light up Bosco's nose, "Oh yeah…there's little dust up there." Scowling at Bosco he shook his head in disgust, "Lousy fucking junkie." The angry cop moved on down the line to Mikey and JC.

Bosco was in shock. He was on the other side. Never in his life did he think he would be in this dark, cold alley receiving a shake down and a beating courtesy of his own brethren. Tears involuntarily sprung up in Bosco's eyes. Had he treated someone this way? He was afraid that the answer to that question was yes. He never thought about what it would be like to be on the other side. He never thought that maybe some of those people he beat or harassed or embarrassed had been going through a hard time in their life and simply made a mistake. He never thought that he was victimizing someone when what they really needed was a helping hand. Now, he knew. Bosco knew what it was like to be on the other side. Wiping the side of his face with the back of his sleeve, Bosco watched as the cops gathered up the cash and drug they had confiscated and stuffed it into their pockets. In that moment standing there in that cold alley in Brooklyn still drunk and half high, Bosco promised himself that if he managed to find a way to survive in this world without Faith that he would never forget what it was like to be on the other side.

Above Lyrics are from Red Hot Chili Peppers "Otherside"

*Big changes next chapter! Please let me know what you think. I love reviews !


	8. If I Die Young

"Last Exit to Brooklyn"

Author: carmen_085

Disclaimer: All Third Watch characters are property of NBC. All original characters belong to me

Summary: After a terrible tragedy changes his life, Bosco goes undercover to find redemption and justice in the most unlikely of places

Author's Note: Thank you all for being patient. Hope you like this one! Please review!

Chapter Eight

"Who would have thought that forever

Could be severed by

The sharp knife of a short life"

* * *

Hazy sunlight shone through dirty windows with half hinged blinds and haphazard curtains. The dirty light shined in Bosco's eyes as he blinked. His entire body was aching as he rolled over. He was lying on the floor of an apartment that he did not recognize. Rubbing his face he struggled to remember the events of the previous night. Groaning, Bosco sat up. He had screwed up again. Closing his eyes he saw himself bent over the sink doing a line as Mikey and JC watched. He also saw himself standing in the alley getting a shakedown and beating. Fingering the side of his face, he didn't need to see it to know that it was bruised and swollen. That piece of shit cop had cracked him with his revolver and he just stood there and took it like a bitch.

Squinting his eyes he looked around struggling to interpret his surroundings. In the back corner of the studio apartment was a worn mattress on the floor. Rising to his feet he wanted to get a better look, Bosco saw Mikey passed out face down in the pillows. Sighing, Bosco couldn't believe how badly things had gone last night. What the hell had he been thinking? Moving toward the bathroom, he felt like the Tinman. Apparently, he was getting too old to pass out on the floor.

Mikey's bathroom was about a half step above the bathroom at Jack's. Leaning on the sink, Bosco forced himself to look at the man in the mirror. He didn't really know what to expect but he knew that it wasn't going to be good. The reality, however, was more than he was prepared for. His reflection was so startling that he jumped back. His left eye was bruised and swollen as a deep gash perforated the side of his temple. His nose was red and chapped from hours of running and wiping. Bosco couldn't look into his own eyes. He was ashamed of himself and what he had done. Averting his gaze downward, he turned the spigot on and watched as the water turned red from the dried blood on his hands. Drying off, Bosco quickly moved out of the bathroom and away from the mirror. Mikey was still asleep on the mattress as he contemplated waking him. Deciding that he didn't want to recap the night's events, Bosco quietly let himself out of the apartment.

It was still relatively early and the street was mostly deserted. Regardless of not having a clue where he was, Bosco began walking east into the morning sun. He needed to find a metro station so that he could get back to Manhattan. Pulling his cell phone from his pocket he saw that he had two missed calls and a text message from Sully.

'Want a ride today?' What the hell was Sully talking about? A ride where? Oh shit, today was the day of the funeral. The day he had been dreading. He didn't want things to be final; he wanted to leave them open so that he could always pretend that she might come back to him. Stuffing his cell phone in his pocket, Bosco deliberately slowed his pace. He wanted time to stand still right there. He didn't want to go any further because if he did he would be coming closer to saying goodbye forever. The only thing that made him move from that spot on the street was the fact that Emily and Charlie would be looking for him. If he didn't show up to the funeral they would be disappointed, and he couldn't do that to them. Truth be told he could care less about everyone else. Fred hated him and rightfully so. The Lieutenant had him handcuffed to a bed in the ER like some piece of trash. Sully and Davis, his friends, stood by and did nothing. And worst of all Faith had left him alone in a world full of pain and guilt. If it weren't for Emily and Charlie he would have probably turned around and went back up to Mikey's apartment, lay down on the floor, and hoped to die in his sleep. That was how he felt. Right or wrong he couldn't change it.

Even at his snail's pace he arrived at the train station in less than five minutes. The Nostrand Avenue station was nearly deserted as he breathed a sigh of relief. After last night he wasn't in the mood for any sort of confrontation. Sitting down on one of the benches, Bosco's body ached. The last few days had been the worst of his entire life. He didn't think that his body could hurt anymore than it already did. Not only was he still in pain from the car accident but also from the beating he received last night. Closing his eyes he couldn't believe the path that his life had taken in less than a week.

One week ago he was sitting at home antsy to get off suspension and back to work with Faith. His biggest worry was if his mom would ever forgive him for beating up her douchebag boyfriend. Since then he had caused a car accident, killed his partner, tried to commit suicide in the bathtub, snorted cocaine, and received a beating courtesy of his NYPD brothers. Leaning forward a sudden wave of uncontrollable nausea came over Bosco as he heaved right there on the platform. Jumping to his feet he scurried behind the bench and fell to his knees. It was bad enough that he had no control of himself; he also didn't want everyone and their mother watching. He continued to heave although nothing came out. Tears sprang up in his eyes although he was quick to wipe them away. There would be none of that. He had made a promise that he wouldn't allow himself to feel anything related to Faith. He couldn't bear it; it was just too painful.

The station began to vibrate as the A train came barreling through. Bosco straightened himself up as he wiped his mouth with the back of his shirtsleeve. A few people shot curious looks at him before stepping onto the train. Dried blood was still caked to the side of his face as his shirt appeared stained and jeans ripped. Undoubtedly they just wrote him off as some junkie. Bosco didn't make eye contact with anyone as he stepped onto the train. Taking a seat in the back he crossed his arms over his stomach and bent over resting his head on his knees. The sweat that had glazed his body as he wretched with the dry heaves now felt like a layer of frost as he shivered noticeably. Closing his eyes, Bosco felt the train shudder as it pulled out of the station.

* * *

The sun blinded Sully's eyes as he drove down west 86th street. Normally, at this time of year he would be more than happy to see the sun shining. Today, however, he scowled at the shining orb in the sky. It just seemed so inappropriate that the day of Faith's funeral would be so bright and shiny. A gray, dreary day would have suited him just fine. Sighing, Sully pulled into an empty spot near Bosco's apartment. Scanning his mirrors he saw Bosco's mustang parked a few spaces behind him. Throwing the door open, Sully stepped onto the street. Thankfully, he didn't get much wear out of his dress blues; however he also seemed to have outgrown them somewhere along the way. Sucking his stomach in, Sully loosened his belt a few notches. A whoosh of air escaped his lips as he looked up at the building in front of him. Straightening his uniform, Sully didn't know if he could ever really be ready for this day.

The front door of Bosco's building was unlocked, and Sully didn't think twice about letting himself in. He had attempted to call Bosco a couple of times over the past couple of days. Sully wasn't all that surprised that he never got an answer. Bosco was an extremely difficult person to convince that you deserved his trust. That was why Sully knew that nothing good would come of the situation at that hospital. He tried everything he could to convince the Lieutenant that he was making a mistake…but honestly who was he? Just some beat cop. He was certainly no match for the amount of pressure that the Lieu was undoubtedly receiving from cops who had more stripes on their shirt than he did.

Despite all that, Sully only thought it right to at least try to be there for Bosco. After all he was the only one who really knew what it was like to lose a partner. Raising a hesitant fist to Bosco's door, he nervously rapped his knuckles against the wood. No answer. Knocking again, Sully leaned into the door attempting to hear any noise.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Sully jumped back, he didn't even hear anyone coming up the stairs. He was even more startled when he finally laid eyes on Bosco. To say that his colleague looked disheveled would be an understatement. Bosco looked downright awful. In fact he almost looked like someone that Sully would arrest. Shooting the older man a dirty look, Bosco pushed past him to the door. "Didn't anyone ever tell you that it's not polite to stare?" It took a few moments but eventually Sully snapped out of the daze he was in.

"What happened to you?" Immediately he knew that was the wrong question as Bosco whirled around nearly knocking him over. Leaning in close, Bosco's voice came out low and threatening.

"None of your fucking business." Sighing, Sully reasoned that he probably deserved that. He had committed the cardinal sin in Bosco's mind. Betrayal. Pulling out one of the kitchen chairs, Sully sat down at the table uninvited. Bosco, however, didn't seem to notice as he stalked toward the bathroom slamming the door behind himself. Trying not to be too obvious Sully's eyes darted around the apartment at the various piles of destruction. Involuntarily his mind flashed back nearly twenty years to the night Ty Sr. was shot. In his mind's eye Sully saw himself breaking a kitchen chair in a fit of rage and guilt. The wooden legs of the chair splintered into a million pieces as he slammed it against the wall. As long as he lived he would never forget the way he felt that night. It was a place of emptiness and loneliness that was unequivocal to anything he had ever felt before. Looking around Bosco's apartment it was apparent that he had been to the same place not so long ago.

Bosco was taking his time in the shower. He felt dirty and disgusting inside and out and the warm water felt good as it ran over his body. Closing his eyes he hoped that Sully would get tired of waiting for him and leave. Right now he was pretty sure that the older man was sitting at the kitchen table looking around at the disaster that was his apartment. Letting out a deep breath Bosco willed time to stand still. When he got out of the shower he would need to look at himself in the mirror. Bosco was so ashamed of what he did last night he wasn't sure he would be able to look himself in the eye right now. Rubbing his hand over the gash on his right temple a sick feeing settled in the pit of his stomach. Growing up he never really felt like he had a family but that all changed when he joined the NYPD. That was one of the reasons why he found the job so alluring. The day he set foot in the academy he felt like he gained a family of forty thousand. It was awesome…he finally felt like he belonged. He never thought that his brothers would handcuff him to a stretcher or give him a shakedown. It hurt him more than he would ever admit.

Turning the water off Bosco stood there for a moment. He could hear movement in the other room and knew that Sully was still there. Stepping out of the shower he quickly moved into the bedroom careful not to catch a glimpse of his own reflection. Piles of dirty clothes were strewn about like an obstacle course. Weaving through the mess of his bedroom, Bosco stood in front of his closet. It had been a while since he had worn his dress blues. They were hot and itchy and he hated the connotation that they carried. Opening the wooden door, his eyes fell on a garment bag near the back. A small smile came to his face as he remembered the day they were issued their dress blues. A few weeks before graduation order forms were circulated for uniforms. The academy didn't provide samples and therefore many recruits were forced to guess what size they needed. The uniforms were unisex which meant that they were primarily cut for the male body. So of course, his fit him like a glove; Faith wasn't so lucky however.

_"I think I got the wrong size." Faith emerged from the bathroom in what looked like a wool trash bag. Bosco couldn't stop laughing._

_"You think?" Doubling over he could barely control himself. Faith waddled over to the mirror. A frown formed on her face as tears began to spring up in her eyes. She just couldn't believe how horrible she looked. Graduation was in one week! She was so proud of becoming a cop and now she would look like a joke in front of everyone._

_Straightening up Bosco finally noticed the look on his partner's face. She was near tears and he suddenly felt guilty for laughing at her. "Hey…Faith. I'm sorry I didn't mean to laugh at you." Turning away from him, Faith didn't want Bosco to see her upset about something so stupid. Bosco was beginning to feel uncomfortable. He was never really all that sensitive and these situations made him feel awkward. Despite that, he wanted to do better for Faith. In a short time they would be partners and they would need to trust each other with their lives. So he wanted to do better, because she actually meant something to him. "Faith…hey." Grabbing her arm he spun her around so that she was facing him. "I'm sure we can go down to the uniform department tomorrow and get this sorted out." Faith refused to meet his eyes; she felt stupid._

_"We?" She thought that maybe she heard him wrong._

_Shrugging his shoulders Bosco acting as nonchalant as possible although on the inside he was actually kind of nervous. "Yeah, sure I'll pick you up." Smiling a little Faith nodded her head._

_"Ok." Offering a quick smile in return Bosco searched for a way to diffuse the awkwardness he felt._

_"And seeing as how my uniform looks so incredibly awesome on me maybe I can give you some pointers." Rolling her eyes Faith laughed a little before retreating to the bathroom. Bosco stood there and watched as she closed the door. Pretty good for his first time trying not to be a dick._

Bosco stood motionless staring at the garment bag. The memory had made him feel warm inside and he wished that he could close his eyes and go back in time. The chill of reality began to creep up his spine. She only lived in his memory now. Shaking his head, Bosco pushed back his emotions and carried on as detached as possible. It took him only a few moments to get dressed and he was about to walk out the door when he remembered the four days of growth on his face. Stepping back into the bathroom Bosco closed his eyes as he moved in front of the mirror. Hastily slathering some shaving cream on his face he wondered if he could shave without actually looking at himself. Running some water over the razor he drug the sharp piece of metal down the side of his face. Almost instantly he felt the blade dig into his flesh. Guess not. Slowly Bosco raised his eyes to the mirror. Staring at himself a wave of sadness came over him. He looked so lost. How did he ever get to this place? Shaving cream began to drip off his face as he stared at himself. Then, mechanically he lifted the razor to the other side of his face. His eyes focused on the small gash near his left temple. It could be worse. He could have had a black eye or something else that was more noticeably. Truth be told he didn't really give a damn about how he looked, he just didn't want to have to answer anybody's questions. Rinsing his face off he hesitantly raised his eyes to the mirror. On the outside everything looked ok , but on the inside he was already gone.

Sully glanced at his watch; the service would be starting in about an hour. Bosco needed to hurry up if they were going to make it in time. Right on cue, the younger man emerged from the back fully dressed and ready to go. Throwing a brief, disapproving glance at Sully he made a beeline toward the door. Exhaling loudly, Sully pushed himself up out of the chair. This was not going to be a good experience.

* * *

Brian Jackson pulled up in front of his partner's house and honked the horn. They were running late and he hoped that Scott was ready. Jackson was regretting his choice of accomplices. They were only five days in and he was already weary of providing continuous reassurance. Hitting the horn again he was beginning to get impatient. They just needed to get through one more day and then they could forget all about this mess.

Finally, Geidel appeared in the doorway. Hurrying toward the car, he looked over his shoulder nervously. "What the hell took you so long?" Jackson scowled at him as he entered the vehicle.

"What are you talking about?" Geidel fastened his seatbelt, careful not to meet his partner's sharp stare.

Rolling his eyes Jackson decided not to pursue it any further. Checking his mirrors he pulled out into traffic. It became obvious fairly quickly that there was something Geidel wanted to say. "What?"

"Oh I don't know Brian, I was just wondering why the hell we're doing this?" They had been over this several times last night and Jackson thought that he had convinced Geidel it was the right thing to do.

"We've been over this, Scott. We're going because everyone else from the 55 is going and it will look suspicious if we aren't there." Brian addressed his partner like a child who was in need of reprimand.

Scowling Geidel huffed in the passenger seat, "Well I don't fucking like it. I'll tell you that!" Jackson slowed the car to a stop as the traffic signal at east 110th street turned red. Turning slowly he sneered in disgust.

"It doesn't matter what you like! I told you twenty times before, there's no turning back now. We're in this till the end…you and me. So suck it up and be a man already." The light turned green and Jackson hit the accelerator. Geidel was seething with anger as they cruised toward the cemetery but he didn't say a word. It wouldn't do him any good. The day he agreed to partner Brian Jackson was the day he sold his soul to the devil. With resignation he knew that he would never get it back now.

Sully and Bosco pulled up to the cemetery just as people were beginning to take their seats. The day was cold but the sun shone brightly on the rows of white chairs. Bosco's bloodshot eyes burned in the intense light as he pulled a pair of sunglasses from his jacket. The ride over was uneventful and tense. The two men exchanged a word or two but primarily rode in awkward silence. Sully knew that anything he said would be useless against the level of hurt and betrayal Bosco felt toward him. Straightening his uniform, Sully spotted Ty sitting next to Doc and Carlos. He contemplated waiting for Bosco but decided that it would probably be better for the younger man to do this at his own pace. "I'm going to sit with Davis." Sully didn't wait for a reply as started down the grassy hill toward the chairs.

Bosco was relieved to finally be alone. Leaning his elbows against the roof of the car he bowed his head. He didn't want to do this. He thought that he would be able to get through everything if he just kept his emotions out of it but it was impossible. Biting his lower lip he willed himself not to cry. He needed to keep it together for just a little while longer. Taking a few deep breaths he steadied himself before looking back up.

_"God, Faith just help me put one foot in front of the other and get through this day. Please!"_

Resting his forehead against the cool metal of the car door Bosco willed himself to straighten up and get moving. Through the glass he could see the brass setting themselves up at the podium. The service was about to start. A few cars behind Sully a Dodge Charger roared up before the engine was abruptly cut. Two cops jumped out and started walking down the hill. Bosco immediately recognized them as Brian Jackson and Scott Geidel. Silently, he wondered why they were here. He and Faith barely associated with them. Looking above his sunglasses he quickly ascertained that Geidel was apparently wondering the same thing. The man looked like he was being drug off to his execution while his partner appeared supremely annoyed.

"Now keep it the fuck together for one more hour and we can put this whole mess behind us…" Jackson's voice trailed off as they hurried toward the chairs. For a moment Bosco pushed his overwhelming grief aside and concentrated on what he interpreted as a very strange comment. What the hell was he talking about? They had been at the accident but as far as Bosco knew they had nothing to do with it. It wasn't possible that they had anything to do with it because at that point no one, not even God himself, could have convinced Bosco that it was anyone's fault but his own. Still, there was something about the way he said it that didn't sit well with Bosco.

Sighing, he knew that it was time. He had to go. Putting one shaky foot in front of the other he reluctantly moved forward. On one side he saw Faith's family; her mother and father, Fred and the kids. On the other side were co-workers; Sully, Davis, Doc and Carlos, Jimmy Doherty, Kim and Bobby. Everyone had the same look of grief stricken disbelief on their faces. That was everyone but Fred. Faith's husband stared ahead completely emotionless. Emily and Charlie were antsy in their seating wiggling around to look at the people parading in. As soon as Charlie caught a glance of Bosco he was up out of his seat and running across the grass to meet him.

"Uncle B!" Bosco couldn't help but to smile as the little boy jumped into his arms. "Where ya been Uncle B? We was waitin' for ya!" Bosco didn't have an answer. Really, what was he going to say? Well, Charlie after your eleven-year-old sister saved me from blowing my brains out the other night I decided to go on an alcohol and cocaine bender in Brooklyn with my piece of shit brother. No, not quite. Shaking his head Bosco managed the most generic answer he could for fear of what would come out of his mouth otherwise.

"Sorry, Charlie. I was just running a little late." By that time Emily had noticed that Charlie found Bosco in the crowd. Running over, Bosco bent down to hug both Emily and her brother at the same time. "How are you guys doing, are you ok?" Bosco almost choked on the last part. Of course they weren't ok, they would never be ok again thanks to him.

Emily's eyes glazed over and he instantly regretted asking. "I miss my mommy, Bosco." Tears rolled down her cheeks. It took every shred of self-control he had for him not to break down right there. Taking the young girl into his arms he stroked her hair gently. There was nothing else he could do.

"Me too, Em. Me too." Although the grief he felt at that moment was intense, he also felt warmth in his chest as he hugged Faith's daughter close. It was the same feeling he had earlier when he remembered their time at the academy. In these moments Bosco received a reprieve from his constant torment, as it almost seemed, if only for a split second, that she wasn't really gone.

"Emily and Charlie back to your seats!" Bosco jumped backward as he released his hold on Emily. Fred was standing over them looking none too pleased. Standing up Bosco smiled at Faith's kids.

"I'll see you guys later." Emily reluctantly nodded as she wiped the tears from her face. Giving Bosco a dirty look, Fred turned and ushered his kids back to the front. Bosco noticed an empty seat on the end next to Jimmy Doherty. That was probably his best bet considering that he and Doherty didn't really prefer each other and most likely the man wouldn't try to talk to him. Sitting down, Doherty acknowledged him with a nod as Lieutenant Swersky came to the podium. Bosco took his sunglasses off and slid them into his jacket. Folding his hands, he stared at his knuckles unwilling and unable to look at the casket behind Swersky. The Lieutenant began to speak but Bosco barely heard a word he said.

_Bosco stood in front of Faith's apartment building. They would be partnering up tomorrow for the first time. It had been six months since graduation and they were finally done with training. Bosco was both nervous and excited. This afternoon Faith had invited him to her place for dinner. Although the situation made him slightly uncomfortable he thought it best to go. He wanted to make a good impression on Fred. He wanted Fred to know that Faith would be safe with him. That he could trust him and that everything would be ok._

_Knocking on Faith's door Bosco waited nervously. Almost instantly, Faith appeared and he immediately felt at ease. "Hey, glad you could make it." Smiling at her, Bosco stepped inside the small but cozy apartment. He had briefly met Faith's family at graduation and tried to make an effort to remember all their names. He only hoped he remembered the right names. Taking a seat at the table Bosco watched as Faith busied herself in the kitchen._

_"Do you need any help?" He didn't know what to do._

_"Oh no. I'm about done. Fred should be home any minute." The last part seemed more like a reassurance to herself than an actual statement. Nevertheless Bosco chose to turn his attention to something else. A few feet away Emily sat on the living room floor playing with a storybook. Bosco went over and sat down next to her. Gesturing toward the book he made a mental note to keep his voice soft so as not to scare her._

_"What are you reading?" For a moment Emily paused not sure if she should trust this strange man sitting on the floor with her. Bosco smiled at her and held his hand out. Turns out that was all the reassurance she needed. Happily, she brought the book to him and sat down in his lap. Although he was a little surprised Bosco couldn't help but to feel taken by the little girl._

_Faith hastily put the pot of spaghetti on the table and glanced at the clock. Eight pm and Fred was still nowhere to be found. She knew where he was; she just didn't want to admit it. Looking around she spotted Bosco sitting on the floor with Emily reading a book to her. Leaning against the chair an unexpected thought came to her mind. In that moment she wished that Bosco were her husband. She wished that she had never met Fred. The thought made her feel uncomfortable inside and she quickly dismissed it. "Dinner's ready."_

_"We not waiting for Fred?" Bosco pulled out one of the chairs and sat down opposite Faith. Shoveling spaghetti onto her dish Faith made a conscious effort to avoid her partner's stare. She didn't want Bosco to see how upset she was about the whole situation._

_"No. He'll be here soon." Faith lifted Emily into her booster seat and put some food on her dish as well._

_"Mommy, I want to tell you something." Faith nodded encouraging her daughter to continue. Emily reached into her pocket and pulled out two scraps of dirty material. Setting them down on the table she looked at Faith expecting her to intrinsically know the weight of this action._

_"What's that,honey?"_

_"MOMMY! It's two pieces of babba!" Babba was Emily's blanket that she carried around all the time. "I cut them for you and Uncle Bosco." Bosco was genuinely happy that he had only know this kid for ten minutes and was already elevated to Uncle status. Faith must have been telling them about him for a while._

_"Oh ok honey. Why did you do that?"_

_"Babba makes me feel better when I am scared and I don't want you or Uncle Bosco to feel scared at work so I'm giving you a piece of babba." Although the logic was a little hard to follow, the meaning behind it was not lost on Faith or Bosco. They both stared at Emily deeply touched by the simple gesture._

_The serenity of the moment was short lived; however, as a drunken Fred burst through the door. Throwing his keys and coat over the couch he stumbled to the table and sat down. Bosco just stared dumbfounded. He had no idea it was like this._

_"What's up, baby? Why'd you start dinner without me?" Fred heaved a lump of spaghetti and began chowing down as if no one else was even there. Bosco immediately noticed the look of embarrassment on Faith's face. Emily shrank back into her chair afraid of her own father. Deciding to take the first step Bosco stood up and offered his hand to Fred._

_"Hey Fred, it's nice to finally meet you. I'm really excited about getting to work with your wife. She's really going to be a great cop." Everyone stopped. Fred finished chewing the spaghetti in his mouth before eying Bosco suspiciously. It became clear that he had no intention of shaking his hand and Bosco quickly withdrew his offer._

_"Yeah whatever. Enjoy working with her all you want just don't fuck her or I'll kill you." Faith almost choked on the food in her mouth. This wasn't happening. Bosco was frozen in position. He didn't know what to do._

_"Fred! Are you kidding me?" Faith had successfully made the transition from shocked to irate. Bosco felt like it was time to go. Pushing his chair in, he grabbed his shred of Emily's blanket from the table before turning to Faith._

_"Faith, thank you for dinner it was nice. I think I should get going though." Faith was so embarrassed and angry she didn't know what to do._

_"Ok, I'll walk you out." Fred refused to acknowledge his wife or Bosco leaving as he continued to shove food into his mouth. Opening the door, Bosco walked down the hallway. From the apartment he heard Faith's voice, "Bosco, I'm so sorry." Before turning around Bosco made an effort to suppress all the anger and put on a relaxed face._

_"Don't worry about," he smiled at her the best that he could, "I'll see you tomorrow, partner." Smiling back Faith nodded before closing the door._

From that moment forward Bosco and Fred would develop a mutual dislike for each other. To Bosco, Fred was just like his father and it killed him that another very important woman in his life was stuck with such a dick. To Fred, the younger man was a threat. Bosco was better looking and had more in common with his wife than he did.

Lieutenant Swersky's voice brought Bosco back to the present. "And now Faith's husband, Fred, would like to say a few words." Bosco ran his fingers against the back of the leather strip that held his badge and ribbons onto his coat. The night of the disastrous dinner at Faith's house, Bosco went home and pinned the scrap of Babba to the back of his badge holder. That way he would always have it close to his heart just in case he got scared. Bosco's eyes flickered to Fred at the podium.

"You know I was going to say something about my wife but then I realized that there is someone here who knew Faith better than anyone. Better than even me." Bosco suddenly felt sick. He didn't like where this was going. "And that person is her partner Maurice Boscorelli." He was going to throw up. This couldn't be happening. "So Bosco why don't you come up here and say a few words?"

All eyes immediately turned to Bosco. In the front Emily and Charlie turned and looked at him expectantly. Pushing himself up out of the chair he nervously walked to the front. Stepping up to the podium his eyes could not avoid the shiny bronze casket behind him. Bosco paused for a moment as he stared at the container that held his partner's dead body. This was so surreal.

If Bosco hadn't been so wrapped up in the present moment he may have noticed the two men in suits walking down the hill toward the service. NYPD badges swung around their neck as the solemn expressions on their face betrayed not a single clue of their intent. Turning to face the crowd, Bosco kept his eyes down.

"I really don't know what to say about Faith…." He wasn't going to be able to keep it together for this. "She ….She really meant everything to me." His voice cracked and he had to look away.

"Officer Maurice Boscorelli?" The two men in suits walked up the stairs to the podium as confusion broke out amongst the crowd.

"Who the hell are you?" Bosco had no idea what was going on.

"Officer Boscorelli you are under arrest for attempted aggravated assault against Dr. Kenneth Fields and the rest of the Angel of Mercy Trauma Team." Bosco was dumbfounded. This couldn't be happening right now. Whispers broke out everywhere.

"Oh like hell."

"Don't make this difficult Officer." Bosco's eye caught the confused and scared look on Emily's face. He couldn't believe that he was causing her even more pain than he already had.

Turning Bosco decided that this was no place to put up a fight. The two men handcuffed him and led him down the stairs and back up through the aisle of chairs in front of everyone. As they passed Sully, he jumped to his feet.

"Don't you talk to them Bosco. Not until the PBA attorney gets there. Don't you say a word!" Sully was angry. He couldn't believe that the rat squad would come to arrest Bosco right in the middle of his partner's funeral. It was such bullshit!

"Don't worry Sul. It's probably just a misunderstanding. I'll be fine." It took every ounce of self-restraint he had not to kick and scream and fight these two bastards right there. He couldn't do that though. It would scare Emily and Charlie and that was the last thing he wanted to do. So he allowed them to do what they wanted with him.

The men shoved him into the back of their car and got into the front seat. "Alright Boscorelli, next stop…Riker's Island."

TBC…

Lyrics are from The Band Perry's "If I Die Young"

I love reviews! They make me write faster !

Undercover action starts in the next chapter!


	9. Changes

"Last Exit to Brooklyn"

Author: carmen_085

Disclaimer: All Third Watch characters are property of NBC. All original characters belong to me

Summary: After a terrible tragedy changes his life, Bosco goes undercover to find redemption and justice in the most unlikely of places

Author's Note: Thank you all for being patient. Hope you like this one! Please review!

Chapter Nine

"I'm not supposed to be scared of anything

But I don't know where I am  
I wish that I could move

But I'm exhausted and nobody understands"

* * *

Bosco pinched his eyes shut. This wasn't happening to him. He felt the car pull out of the toll plaza and start uphill on the Riker's Island Bridge. He didn't need to look, he knew exactly where they were. Bosco had driven that bridge at least a hundred times. Exhaling loudly he stared down at the set of handcuffs he was wearing. Sadly he was getting used to this. Keeping his eyes averted the entire time he didn't say a word. He could not believe that IAB had scooped him up at Faith's funeral. Right in front of her kids, Fred, the bosses, and everyone else. It was beyond humiliating. Bosco knew that he could never be a cop again. It was over for him. The only two things that he had ever really loved had both been taken away in a matter of days. Folding his shackled hands in his lap, he felt more hopeless and more defeated than he ever thought possible.

The car stopped at the front gates as Bosco felt his stomach turn over. They were really going to take him in there. Dressed like this. A sudden wave of nausea came over him as he fought to not heave right there in the car. Bringing the car to the stop in front of the intake building Bosco closed his eyes. This wasn't happening, it wasn't happening. The IAB agents got out of the car. Swinging the back door open, Bosco felt rough hands pulling him out of the car.

"C'mon, Boscorelli. Let's go." Standing there for moment he was frozen in fear. Dragging him toward the building, Bosco resisted as his fight or flight response was in full gear.

"Guys, c'mon. You can't take me in there dressed like this. You know what they'll do." He hated the way his voice sounded. Small and afraid and worse than that he was begging. Inwardly, it made him cringe. Never, ever did he think he would ever beg anyone for anything. It just wasn't him.

"That's not our problem, Boscorelli." The agents roughly pushed him into the building. One of them shoved him into a chair as the other unlocked his handcuffs before quickly latching his right arm to the bar on the wall. Bosco watched at they approached the processing clerk at the desk. Peering over the high counter Bosco didn't miss the lock of shock on the older man's face. He wanted to hide. Averting his eyes to the floor he lowered his head in shame.

"It should all be there." Out of the corner of his eye, Bosco saw them slide a stack of papers under the glass partition. He wondered what those papers said about him. Aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. That wouldn't have been a complete lie. He didn't have intentions of hurting anyone; he just needed to make them understand. His partner was hurt and he needed to be with her. That was all. Too bad he went about it the wrong way. He was good at that.

_He stood there staring through the glass as his mother fawned over her piece of shit boyfriend. Clutching his sweater close, she wept for forgiveness as he looked down on her dismissively. The scene was too much for him. How could she do this to him, again? All his life he watched her get beaten and now he was old enough and strong enough to do something about and it still didn't matter. She would always run to them before she ran to him. It made him sick as he turned away._

_Taking a deep breath he heard the door open and his mother's voice, "Maurice!" Within seconds she was on top of him slapping his chest frantically. "I begged you! It was none of your damn business! You could have killed him."_

_"I should have killed the guy." More than ever Bosco wished that he had killed Skagget in that factory. Looking over his mother's shoulder he saw Skagget sitting pathetically on the stretcher clutching a bag of ice to his swollen forehead. Images of himself flying through the door and strangling that piece of shit until he turned blue suddenly flashed through his mind. "I have a question for you. Have you filed charges against this bastard yet? Or are you in there begging him to keep you around?" His mother looked at him sheepishly. He was right. "That's what I thought. Well you know what, I'm not ten years old anymore. Someone hits my mother they're going to get a beating whether you like it or not." Turning on his heel he walked toward the lounge. He couldn't stand it anymore. She would never change._

_Bosco sat down on the couch. Resting his head in his hands, he barely heard the door open. Before he knew it someone was sitting next to him on the couch. It was Faith. He didn't need to look up to know that it was her. She was sitting close enough to him that their bodies were touching. Whether it was on purpose or not, the physical proximity was comforting. She didn't need to say anything; this was enough._

_Sighing loudly, he allowed his eyes to drift shut for just a moment. Enjoying the warm feeling that suddenly flooded him, he forgot about his current predicament if only for a few moments._

_"Bosco, Christopher called. They want us back at the house…" She paused for a moment. He knew that she was trying to figure out a way to tell him something. "Skagget's pressing assault charges against you."_

_Nodding his head he figured that was coming. "Why do I always screw up, Faith?"_

_Pausing for a moment she thought about her words carefully, "I don't think you screw up.."_

_He cut her off before she could continue. Snorting sarcastically, he shook his head, "Yeah well it sure feels like it."_

_"Bosco you just don't always go about things the right way. I know your intentions are good. That's really all that matters."_

_Her words made him feel a little better although he was still doubtful. "Yeah I'm not so sure about that."_

_Turning so that she could face him, Faith regarded her partner seriously. "Bosco, look at me." Slowly their eyes met as she realized the amount of guilt and uncertainty that he felt. "Bosco, I'm your partner. I've been with you everyday for the last six years. I know you better than anyone. You make mistakes but you're a good cop and a good person, and if you can't trust yourself on that then you trust me."_

_He just sat there for a moment staring at her. Normally he would brush something like that off, but it was different when it came from Faith. He believed every word that came out of her mouth. She was his partner. She was his best friend. He trusted her._

"Boscorelli!" He just realized that someone was standing over him. Snapping his head upward he met eyes with a very annoyed CO. Shaking his head the man uncuffed Bosco from the metal bar and led him toward processing. "Jesus, I thought we might have lost you there for a second."

A loud buzzing echoed as the door slid open. Over the guard's shoulder Bosco's eyes fell on the holding cell. Various criminals in orange jumpsuits milled about, although they all stopped when they saw him parade past the glass in his dress blues. Afraid to see the bloodthirsty grins on their faces, Bosco was careful to keep his eyes trained on the floor. He could only imagine what they were planning for him, as this would probably be the first and only time they would have a cop on their turf. Bosco's body had already been pushed to the physical and emotional brink. He wasn't sure that he would be able to bear more abuse.

"Alright, take off your clothes." The guard ushered Bosco into a small cinder block room before he shut the door. Standing there the man stared at him expectantly. The warm feeling of Faith's memory faded away as a new sense of terror filled him. They were really going to do this to him. All along he had been holding onto a slim ray of hope that they might take the fact he was a cop into consideration. What he did was wrong and he knew that, but he had been through hell the past few weeks and all he was asking for was some consideration.

Consideration that his family was non-existent. Consideration that his partner and best friend was dead. Consideration that he would be dead right now if not for an eleven year old girl. But most importantly, consideration that there was no one in this world that gave a shit about him. He was alone, in every sense of the word.

Bosco slowly peel off his coat, laying it neatly on the bench he turned away from the guard as he unbuttoned his shirt. Although he couldn't see the man, he could feel his eyes burning in to the back of his head. Slipping his pants and shoes off, a wave of humiliation caused his face to burn. Hesitating for a moment Bosco finally slid his underwear off and onto the floor. Goosebumps popped up all over his body as the chill of the room caused him to shiver slightly. Crossing his arms over his chest he tried in vain to keep warm. Bosco kept his eyes on the floor as he turned around to face the guard completely naked.

"Get over here." The man roughly grabbed his arm and pushed him into the concrete wall. Maybe he was prejudiced but Bosco couldn't help but to feel like this man was treating him worse than a normal inmate. He had been shoved and pushed more times than he could count and wondered if this was the treatment everyone received. He had hoped that they would go easy on him but it seemed like just the opposite was happening. "Spread your legs apart."

Mortified beyond belief Bosco spread his arm and legs out as he leaned forward against the wall. Within seconds he could feel the guard's rough hands all over his body. Closing his eyes he fought the urge to break down right there. Everything was just so fucked up he didn't even know where to begin.

"Put these on." The guard shoved an orange jumpsuit and a pair of canvas slippers into Bosco's arms. Staring at the clothing his mind struggled to comprehend what he had to do. "Jesus! Do you need a written invitation? Put them on!" The impatient guard scowled as Bosco slowly began the process of getting dressed. The jumpsuit was at least one size too big as it hung off his beaten frame like an orange garbage bag. Slipping his cold feet into the canvas shoes, he sneezed from the strong odor of the rubbery bottoms. "Alright, let's go." The guard put the handcuffs back on before proceeding across the hallway. As he was forced away, Bosco caught one last glimpse of his clothing sitting on the bench. A little piece of a rag peeked over his badge holder. It was Emily's blanket. It was there in case he ever felt scared. Funny, he had never been more scared than he was right now.

The guard hastily fingerprinted Bosco; as he made no attempt to be uncooperative. He knew what it was like to fingerprint someone who was trying to be a jackass and he had no desire to have his wrist bent backwards. Judging by the look on the guard's face he would have been all too happy to inflict some sort of pain or misery.

After the fingerprinting, Bosco stood in front of the camera. They uncuffed him so that he could hold the black sign with his name on it. Staring down his eyes absorbed what they were seeing although there was little comprehension.

'Boscorelli, Maurice

Inmate # 456728900

DOB: 01-11-1973'

It was official now. He was a criminal. Looking up, he stared into the lens of the camera unflinching. His eyes were hollow pools that didn't betray a single emotion. He was completely numb. The flash went off as he saw the rest of his life laid out in bleak, unwavering focus.

Leading him back across the hallway, the guard gave Bosco no time to protest as he opened the door to the holding cell and pushed him in. Rubbing his wrists where the cuffs had been digging in, Bosco kept his eyes on the ground. He knew that they were all staring at him. Quietly, he found a space in the corner. There was no doubt that he was cop. He was just waiting for the confrontation to begin. Crossing his arm over his chest he leaned over so that his forehead was resting on his knees. He just wanted to disappear.

"Well, well, well what do we have here?" Bosco did not raise his head. He watched as a pair of large feet sauntered toward him. He ignored the man, hoping that he would just go away. "You better look at me when I talk to you, bitch." Bosco could feel his heart speed up as the thumping of blood in his ears was nearly deafening. Anger began to build as all the horrible injustices that had been done to him over the last week finally came to head. "Oh I see how it is, out on the street you're the man but in here you're nothing but a little bitch." Some of the other inmates laughed as the big one regarded Bosco with a smirk, "Maybe you can be my bitch." That was it. Bosco felt his anger erupt as he leapt off the bench. Within seconds his fingers were locked in a death grip around the bastard's throat. The man stumbled in surprise. Falling to the floor he kicked his legs wildly in an attempt to get Bosco off of him.

"Who's the bitch now?" Bosco seethed with anger. All of the horrible things that he had endured over the last week manifested themselves in a blinding rage of fury. A few moments of disbelief passed before the cell erupted with yelling and scuffling. Bosco felt hands all over him, as the men were able to pry his finger from the big man's throat. Pushing him onto the ground they were on top of him in a second. Reflexively drawing himself into a fetal position, Bosco covered his head with his hands. The air in his lungs whooshed out as he felt punch after punch land directly in his ribs. Groaning he did everything he could to protect himself, but there were just too many of them.

It felt like an eternity until Bosco heard the voices of the guards. "Break it up! Break it up now!" Dark uniforms flooded the cell as the orange jump suits scattered. Blood ran out of Bosco's nose as one of the guards stood him up. It was the same man that had stripped and photographed him.

"Boscorelli…" The man regarded Bosco with pure disgust. "How did I know you were going to be a problem?" Bosco wanted to punch the man, he wanted to beat him senseless right there. Balling his fist tightly he stopped. On any other day that snide prison guard would have been him. How many times had he talked to someone that way? Truth be told that man was him just one week ago. "That's it Boscorelli, I'm done with you!"

The man ushered Bosco out of the holding cell to a chorus of whoops and applause. "Hey man this isn't my fault." Bosco feared that he was being led toward something worse. "You shouldn't have paraded me in front of them in my uniform anyway. You knew what was going to happen!" The nasty guard stopped and regarded Bosco silently for a moment.

"Of course I did. In fact, I was hoping that they would have killed you." The weight of his words caused Bosco to pause for a moment. "Yeah that's right. All you NYPD cops think you can do anything. You think you're above the law, well guess what when the day's over you're no better than the scum you lock up." Clearly this man had a personal grudge that he was more then eager to take out on Bosco. Shaking his head, he snorted bitterly as he continued down the hallway. With resignation Bosco realized that he was powerless to stop anything that this man might do to him. This was his world and he made the rules.

A long row of single cells came into view as they rounded the corner. Opening the first door, the guard shoved Bosco into a tiny 8x8 room. Stumbling to the floor, his knees ached as they made abrupt contact with the concrete. The guard slammed the door behind him as he fell into complete darkness. Instantly, Bosco's heart began to race. Struggling to interpret his surroundings he groped blindly. A wave of panic crashed over him as his eyes saw nothing but black. His hands were shaking as he made contact with a smooth metal object that he quickly determined to be the toilet. Pushing himself up off the ground, he began to feel lightheaded as he struggled to breath. His chest was tight with panic and he suddenly feared that he might die. Turning around he pounded on what he thought was the door.

"Please let me out of here! Please I'll do anything. Please! PLEASE!" He was begging again but this time he didn't care. The fear and panic he felt were overwhelming. "Please I can't breath! I can't breath!" Beating on the door until his hands ached, it took Bosco a few minutes to realize that no one cared. Sliding down the wall he fought to catch his breath. His entire body was shaking with complete and utter panic as he felt his emotional walls begin to break. Tears ran down his face as he sobbed freely. In that moment he wished that he had gone through with it. He wished that he were dead right now. He didn't care if that made him weak person because really that was the truth.

Hugging his knees to his chest, Bosco cried uncontrollably. His life was a complete and total mess. He didn't even know where to begin. He wanted to give up. He wanted to die right there in that cell. Lying down on the floor in front of the door his eyes were met with a small sliver of light. Blinking he tried to control his breathing. Blood and snot ran down his face onto the floor. His chest heaved as he fought to regain control of himself. Drawing his knees to his chest Bosco lay on the cement floor and did the only thing he could do. He prayed.

Bosco wasn't really the bible thumping, praise be to Jesus sort but he was raised Catholic and he didn't know what else to do. Really, there wasn't anything else he could do except wait and pray.

'Our father who art in heaven, hallow be thy name' Oh God I know I haven't always been a good person and I know I've made mistake but please let that man come back and open this door.

'Thy kingdom come, thy will be done' I'm sorry about Faith, God. She was my responsibility and I didn't protect her. I didn't do a good job.

'On earth as it is in heaven. Give this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us' Where are you, God? I need you right now. I've never been more scared in my entire life.

'And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil' Please God if you can help me out of this I promise to be a better person. I promise to take the pieces of my life and put them back together into something meaningful. I promise Lord. Just help me right now, get me out of here!

Closing his eyes, Bosco felt a sudden sensation of warmth come over him. He saw Faith. She was there with him sitting on the cold cement floor. She took his hand into her own and he squeezed as hard as he could. It felt so real. She ran her hand through his hair and over his tear stained face. Whether he was imagining it or not, Bosco began to feel comforted as his breathing slowed and he stopped shaking.

' _Bosco, you need to hold on. Just hold on for a little bit longer. Someone is about to change your life.' He heard her clear as day. She was there with him. Opening his eyes he was met with darkness as the warm feeling faded away. She had just been there, though, he heard her and he felt her._

Suddenly the door opened as the tiny cell was flooded with light. Struggling to his feet, Bosco quickly wiped his face. "Boscorelli?" It wasn't the mean guard from earlier but a tall thin man with glasses and a concerned face. He was relieved although he wondered what was happening.

"Yeah." His voice came out as a horse whisper.

The guard smiled at him sympathetically. "You're being released. Someone's here to pick you up."

Bosco thought that maybe it was a joke. Who would come to pick him up? Cautiously he took a few steps toward the guard. Instead of reaching for his cuffs, he gestured for Bosco to follow him down the hallway. Cautiously he followed the man back toward the holding cell. It was joke; he knew it. They were going to put him back into holding and watch him get his ass beat again. Swallowing hard he waited for the mean guard to reappear and bust his head off the glass. The tall guard noticed his hesitancy and gestured toward a small private room just to the left of holding.

"I have your clothes here all ready for you." Bosco approached the doorway slowly half expecting someone to jump out and strangle him. Much to his delight, however, he saw his clothing sitting on the bench. It was true! They were letting him go.

Quickly dressing, Bosco was elated to be leaving Riker's Island although his head was filled with more questions than answers. What would happen to the assault charges? Would he have to come back here? Who was here to pick him up? Stepping out of the room, Bosco paused to catch a glimpse of his appearance in the glass. His eyes were swollen and red rimmed as his hair stood up in every direction. Smoothing his uniform down he straightened himself up a bit. He had been saved from that black pit of hopelessness and now he would need to find a way to put his shattered life back together.

The friendly guard opened the door for Bosco to exit into the processing lobby. His eyes fell on a young woman sitting in one of the chairs. Athletically built with long brown hair and bright blue eyes she was very pretty. Looking up she met Bosco's eyes and smiled. Immediately he felt at ease. There was something very comforting and very honest about her face. Standing up she walked over to him.

"Oh my God, Baby! I was so worried about you!" Throwing her arms around his neck she planted a kiss right on his mouth. Bosco's first reaction was to pull away. This woman was crazy. Gripping him tighter, she abruptly pulled back. "Are you ok? Did they treat you ok?" Pulling him into a tight hug, she leaned in close to his ear and whispered, "Just go with it. I'll explain everything in the car."

Bosco had been on an emotional roller coaster and he wasn't sure that he could handle anything else today. Despite that, this mystery woman seemed to know what she was doing so he played along. Whatever she did to him couldn't be any worse than what he had already endured.

"Yeah, it was ok." His voice was shaky and unconvincing.

Taking him by the hand, the woman led him toward the door. "Let's get you home."

Bosco allowed himself to be led out into the parking lot toward a beat up black Honda Civic. The young women hung on his arm as if they had known each other for years. While this whole scenario was thoroughly confusing and no doubt contrived, Bosco could help but to feel slightly comforted by the sudden rush of affection even if it was only for show.

Once inside the car, Bosco expected an explanation. Staring at the woman, she pretended to be completely unfazed as she put the car into gear and headed toward the bridge.

"Um, are you going to tell me what the hell is going on?" The words came out slightly harsher than he had intended although his concern was definitely warranted. For all he knew, he could have been getting kidnapped right now.

"Not yet." They merged onto the bridge heading toward Queens. Feeling slightly defeated and shut down, Bosco relaxed back into the seat. The woman was about the same height as him although much thinner and if worse came to worse he figured that he could take her. That was, of course, if he was being kidnapped or led to his demise.

Sighing, Bosco watched as the South Bronx disappeared over his right shoulder as the thunderous roar of a jet taking off from LaGuardia suddenly shook the car. Well, at least this was better than being in that cell. Then again, he was pretty sure that death would have been better than that cell.

The woman pulled the car over along Hazen Street in Queens. Cutting the engine she turned to Bosco and smiled. "Sorry for all the secrecy but it's for both of our protection." Staring at her he didn't even know where to begin with all of this. "Anyway, my name is Liz. I've been undercover with the Brooklyn Narcotics and Vice squad for a year and I'm your new partner."

What? Did she say new partner? Faith hadn't even been dead a whole week. He wasn't ready for a new partner. Besides that, Bosco was pretty sure that his NYPD career was over. "Are you kidding me?"

"No, I'm not kidding you, I…" Before she could finish Bosco cut her off. He was angry. This was all a joke, just like he thought.

"Look, lady I don't know who put you up to this but I don't think it's very funny. I mean one minute I'm locked up in solitary confinement and the next you're driving me around Queen telling me that we're partners. This is bullshit!"

Liz didn't miss the edge in his voice when he mentioned solitary confinement. He was teetering in the edge of an emotional breakdown and having some shred of hope. Although it wasn't in her nature to back down from people, she decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.

"Look, Bosco…." His ears were immediately piqued when he heard his name.

"How the hell do you know my name?"

Exhaling loudly, she was beginning to lose her patience with him. "I was about to get to that." Sheepishly he leaned back in the seat. "I know as much about this as you do. OK, two hours ago my CO called me and told me that I needed to go to Riker's to pick up my new partner. I didn't even know I was getting a partner." Bosco looked at her questioningly, he wasn't sure if he believed this. Laughing a little in frustration, she threw her hands up. "Look if you don't believe me you can call John Callahan. He's the commander of the squad and one of only a few people who even know I'm undercover."

"Let me see your ID." Bosco had been betrayed too many times lately and he wasn't going to let some mystery women lead him to his death.

"I don't carry an NYPD ID. It's too dangerous. My badge number is 6140, I started with the department five years ago, I worked in the 7-9 for three years before moving onto Narcotics. I'm sorry I can't give you the kind of proof you're looking for but…" Before she could finish a cell phone began ringing. Turning away, Bosco stared out the window numbly. What was going on?

"Hello? Oh yeah, yeah I have him." It had begun to rain as Bosco fell into quiet reflection. Her story seemed believable enough, although he just couldn't understand why this was happening right now. If he did indeed still have a position at the department, he was pretty sure that it didn't involve getting promoted to undercover. The subway screeched on the tracks over his head as the rhythmic tapping of the rain lulled him into a momentary state of relaxation. "Yeah I'll bring him over." He thought about getting out of the car and taking the subway back to Manhattan. He thought about telling her to screw off, and that he didn't believe her. He thought about a lot of things. Bosco could have walked away right there if he wanted to but he didn't. He stayed because a small sliver of him was hopeful that she was telling the truth. He was hopeful that he had just found a reason to put his life back together.

Hanging up the phone, Liz regarded him thoughtfully for a moment before starting the car. "Where are we going?"

"Sunny's bar in Red Hook." She said it as if it was an outing that they had planned. "My CO wants to meet us there. Hopefully you can relax after that." Bosco didn't miss the annoyance in her voice. Sitting back, he remained quiet as she merged onto the Brooklyn Queens Expressway. Bosco watched as the lights of Manhattan glowed in the distance. He had never really thought about undercover work much. Of course he thought it was cool and would have jumped at the opportunity one day. For now, though, he had been content to drive around in the radio car with Faith.

Eyeing Liz carefully, he wondered how she handled herself on the street. Obviously it must have been pretty good if she was already in undercover after only five years on the job. Still there was no way that she would ever match up to Faith. He had already decided that. Bosco didn't know anything about her, but he knew that she would never mean as much as Faith did.

The car stopped outside of a dilapidated building with a rusting steel door and red neon sign. Sunny's bar had definitely seen better days. Getting out the car, Bosco followed Liz into the seedy establishment. Upon stepping inside, it took a few moments for his eyes to adjust to the dim light. A cloud of smoke hung low as a few patrons turned to look at them. The bartender made eye contact with Liz and nodded toward the back of the room. It was clear that she had been there before. Following her, Bosco received a few questioning glances. He was still in his dress blues although they were beginning to look a little raggedy as the jack hung open and the shirt was half unbuttoned. Sitting in a booth near the back, Bosco's eyes fell on a middle aged white man with black hair and dark eyes. Sitting next to him was Lieutenant Swersky.

It wasn't a joke. This was real. "Bosco." Swersky motioned for him to sit down although Bosco remained frozen in position. He still didn't fully trust the man after everything that happened. Seeing Bosco's hesitation, Liz decided to diffuse the situation.

"Hi! I'm Liz Jensen. It's nice to meet you, Sir." Sliding into the booth across from Swersky and Callahan, Liz hoped that Bosco would snap out of it already. Carefully, he sat down next to her, keeping his eyes on Swersky the whole time.

Taking deep breath the Lieutenant massaged his forehead. "Bosco, I'm so sorry for everything. I had no idea they were going to do that…" Before he could finish Bosco cut him off.

"They locked me up, Lieu. In solitary confinement." His words were accusatory and angry.

Shaking his head, the Lieutenant seemed genuinely remorseful, "I'm sorry, Bosco. You're my officer and I didn't do a very good job of looking out for you. I didn't have your back."

Bosco wanted to scream. He had been locked to a gurney and arrested by IAB, all while the Lieutenant stood by and did nothing. Not only did he not look out for him, he actively participated in screwing him over.

"That's why we're here right now. You see, Bosco, you're in a very unique position. We can make it look like you've left the department and no one will know the difference."

"Wait, what do you mean? She told me that I'm her partner. I don't understand." Liz smiled at him reassuringly; she really didn't know what was going on either.

"You are her partner now." Swersky paused, "Bosco I talked to Fields and he's agreed to drop the assault charges if he never has to see you again." Bosco didn't understand. Was the Lieu getting rid of him to please some shit bag doctor? "I thought it was fair trade. Bosco, a felony conviction would end your career as a cop forever."

"I don't care about that piece of shit doctor, Lieu! I don't…" Sergeant Callahan cut him off mid sentence.

"Boscorelli, what the Lieutenant is saying is that you are in a good position to help us. You can easily disappear from your normal life without too many people wondering. Forget what happened with doctor whoever, it doesn't mean shit to me. The Lieutenant has told me about your situation and I think you would take to undercover work very quickly. It's a good opportunity." Bosco was reeling with thoughts.

"Bosco," Swersky regarded him seriously, "Do you really want to go back there without Faith." Liz saw Bosco's jaw tighten as his eyes suddenly misted over. He didn't want to go back there without Faith. He didn't want to see her locker, or their favorite pizza places, or the spot where they used to park under the highway. It was too painful to think about being there without her.

"Think of this as a fresh start," Sergeant Callahan's voice broke into his thoughts. "You don't have to decide right now. It's a wonderful opportunity but if you don't want to do it I understand." Bosco nodded. "The Lieutenant and I are going to get going. Liz can give you a ride back to Manhattan. Give me a call if you want in. We'd love to have you, Bosco. I mean that. The Lieutenant has told me nothing but good things about you."

Sergeant Callahan and the Lieutenant got up to leave. Bosco was lost in thought as Swersky touched his arm. "I really am sorry, Bosco. I never meant for any of that to happen to you. It wasn't fair, and I regret not stepping in. You didn't deserve that." Bosco felt himself soften a little.

"It's alright, Lieu." Bosco couldn't meet his eyes yet. He was still too hurt. Nodding, the older man walked away. Bosco would come around eventually. It would just take a while until the hurt and mistrust began to fade away.

Liz and Bosco sat in silence for a while before she elbowed him playfully. "See, I'm legit as they come." A small smile played across his lips as she laughed. "So are you ready to go home?"

It was nearly two in the morning. Bosco didn't realize how tired he was until he stood up. His legs felt like logs as he followed her out of the bar. The ride back to Manhattan was silent and uneventful and before he knew it they were outside of his apartment. He made no move to get out of the car as they both stared straight ahead.

"What happened to your partner?" Liz wasn't sure if she should ask the question but she couldn't help herself.

"She died. Four days ago. We were in a car accident. I was driving." The amount of guilt in his voice was enough to make her feel more than a little uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry. Losing a partner is one of the hardest things in the world. I don't think you ever really get over it." The tone of her voice made Bosco think that she was doing more than sympathizing with him. He didn't have the energy or resources to probe anyone else's grief right now. So he just let it go. "Bosco I want you to know that I would love to be your partner but if you don't think this is right for you, then don't do it. Either way, I think you should take some time off and deal with things. There's no rush."

He nodded. She was right. He needed to get himself together. Opening the door he stepped out of the car. Getting out of the car as well, Liz walked around the front so that they were standing in front of each other. Slamming the door closed, he offered her a sad smile. "Well…" He didn't know what to say.

Without warning she pulled him into a hug. It wasn't the I'm so sorry I don't want to touch you sort of hug but a real honest I mean it sort of embrace. Hesitantly he put his arms around her and hugged her back. It felt good, and he needed it. If someone had done this for him seven days ago maybe he wouldn't have found himself bent over the sink doing a line or climbing into the bathtub with his pistol in one hand and his life in the other.

Pulling back, she looked at him sincerely, "Take care of yourself Bosco." Getting back into the car, Bosco watched as she drove back toward Brooklyn. As he stood there watching her taillights disappear around the corner he remembered the words that Faith whispered to him while he was lying in that dark cell.

'Bosco, you need to hold on. Just hold on for a little bit longer. Someone is about to change your life.'

Please, please, please review!

Above lyrics are from 3 Doors Down "Changes"


	10. Home

"Last Exit to Brooklyn"

Author: carmen_085

Disclaimer: All Third Watch characters are property of NBC. All original characters belong to me

Summary: After a terrible tragedy changes his life, Bosco goes undercover to find redemption and justice in the most unlikely of places

Author's Note: Thank you to all those that faithfully review. I look forward to reading each one of them and I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Chapter Ten

"Crowded room is full of empty faces

The deepest conversation, full of lies

Another night with all my friends, the kind you never see again

I wonder if they'll see through my disguise"

* * *

-Late-March 2001

Bosco leaned against the wrought iron gates. The first hints of spring were in the air as the gentle wind wrapped itself around him. Pacing back and forth, he clutched a bouquet of daisies in his hand. This was a mistake. He knew it. He shouldn't have come. He wasn't ready for this. What the hell made him think he was ready for this?

The skies were cloudy as they threatened to let loose any minute. Rubbing his forehead, Bosco didn't think that this was going to be such a disaster. It had been exactly one month since Faith died. One month without her. He couldn't believe it. To Bosco it seemed like only yesterday they had been sitting under the FDR dodging calls, eating pizza, and making each other laugh until it hurt. One month. Exhaling loudly, he thought that this would bring him some kind of closure, thought that it would be good for him. Yeah right.

It had been three week since he had seen or spoke to Liz. She told him to take all the time he needed and to be sure he was ready. Three weeks later he couldn't stand to be alone another minute, and frankly he doubted that he was ready. But he had to do something. He tried to deal with his feelings, really he did, but it was useless. He didn't even know where to begin when it came to this. No matter how much he tried to reason with himself, he always came back to the same conclusion. He couldn't get over Faith. It was impossible. Even if he lived for a hundred years, he would never forgive himself for what happened to Faith. So, instead of dealing with it, he pushed it aside and pretended like everything was all right. The memories locked away; gone but not forgotten.

_Bosco sat on the swing in the dark. He watched as Faith moved herself back and forth slowly. Her eyes glazed over, she stared off into the dark._

_"What am I going to do, Bosco?" He wasn't sure if she actually expected an answer or just wanted him to listen. Opening his mouth he struggled to find the right words. They didn't come. Thankfully, Faith kept talking, "We can't afford another baby."_

_"Hey, Faith you'll find a way to make it work. You and Fred can…" Before he could finish she cut him off._

_"That's just it, Bosco, there is no me and Fred. It's me." Bosco couldn't argue with Faith on that one. Fred was living the dream, no doubt. Drink and play softball and maybe go to work while your wife takes care of the bills, the kids, and everything else. Bosco had despised Fred since their fateful first meeting, although he tried to put on a happy face when Faith wanted to talk about him. He was her husband, and even though Bosco thought he was a piece of trash he tried to respect him for Faith's sake._

_"You'll figure it out. You always do." He was trying to be comforting although he knew that he sucked at it. Faith rolled her eyes and snorted a little._

_"Yeah that's me, always figure it out." Everything was so jacked up. She didn't want another baby. They couldn't afford it, they had no room for it, and the list could go on and on. But most importantly, she didn't want another one of Fred's kids. She wasn't even sure of they were going to make it, and here she was having another kid to him. Brilliant._

_Rocking back and forth in the swing Faith yawned, it was nearly three in the morning. Glancing over at Bosco, she was a little surprised that he had stuck around, although she couldn't deny that she was grateful for it. He was so awkward in these situations. Despite that, just him being there meant more to her than he would ever know. Catching his eye, she offered him a sad smile._

_"Thank you."_

_Bosco looked at her quizzically, "For what?"_

_Sighing, Faith's eyes absentmindedly scanned the dark, empty park. "For everything."_

The memory faded as quickly as it had come. Here he was, one month later standing outside the gates of the cemetery unwilling and unable to walk inside.

"Hey man we're open. You can come on in." The voice of the attendant broke his thoughts as he stared at the man dumbfounded. He didn't want to go in. He couldn't go in. Handing the man the daisies, Bosco turned and walked away without saying a word.

* * *

Sully stirred his coffee slowly as he quietly thumbed through the paper. It had been a month since Faith died. He hadn't seen Bosco in almost three weeks. After IAB drug him away, Sully nearly lost it. After arguing with the Lieutenant and earning himself a reprimand for insubordination, Sully stomped out of the cemetery with Davis in tow. Just because Swersky wouldn't tell him where they took Bosco, didn't mean that he had to stop looking. He tried everything he could think of. Never, ever did he think that they would take Bosco to Riker's. He tried calling Bosco several times but never got an answer. He even stopped by his place on a couple of occasions. Two days after the fiasco at the funeral the house was buzzing with rumors. For his part, the Lieutenant didn't do much to assuage their concerns as he only told them that Bosco would be taking some time off.

The waitress refilled his coffee as he nodded his appreciation. Aside from the fact that Bosco had seemingly disappeared, Sully was also deeply bothered by something else. Right before Faith had died, she had come to him and asked him what he would do if he thought that someone was dirty. She didn't tell him anything else, but he couldn't shake a feeling of uneasiness. He couldn't help but to wonder if Faith had seen something that she was never meant to see.

At the funeral as Bosco was being drug away by IAB, Sully caught a glimpse of something unusual. Among all the shocked faces, his eyes landed on the smiling face of Brian Jackson. Sitting near the back with his partner, Sully was a little surprised to see him there at all. Neither one of them had been particularly close with Bosco or Faith. What was even more curious was the fact that he seemed to be not only amused but also extremely satisfied by the current situation. Really, he didn't look surprised at all. After they left, Sully thought for a long time about what he had seen. It didn't make any sense and there was no logical explanation. So he turned to his instincts and his instincts were telling him that maybe the accident wasn't really an accident at all.

Bosco parked his car outside of the precinct. Staring at the door he watched as the day shift parked their cars and went inside. He didn't intentionally show up at change of shift because honestly he didn't want to talk to anyone. It was just habit. Nervously, fiddling with the keys, Bosco sucked in a deep breath. Once he came out of there, it would be over. He would have no reason to ever go back to the 55 again. Another piece of himself and Faith would drift away forever.

Bowing his head, Bosco didn't know if he could do it. He didn't' know if he could go in there and come out and not look back. Taking a few deep breaths, he remembered the promise that he made to God and himself.

_Please God if you can help me out of this I promise to be a better person. I promise to take the pieces of my life and put them back together into something meaningful._

And he got out of there, so he needed to do his best to keep that promise. He needed to find someway to put his shattered life back together. And he needed to start right now. Pushing the car door open before he could think about it, Bosco stood up in the parking lot. He was going to do it.

The station house was bustling with activity as he tentatively walked through the doors. This place used to feel like home to him yet now it felt strange and unfamiliar. Thankfully, everyone was too busy to notice him as he slide up the stairs toward Swersky's office. The older man was sitting behind the desk studying the latest reports, and he didn't seem to notice as Bosco walked in. Clearing his throat, Bosco stood awkwardly waiting for the Lieutenant to acknowledge him.

Swersky was visibly surprised to see Bosco standing in his office. Pushing the papers aside, he leaned back in his chair. "Bosco! What are you doing here?"

Bosco felt uneasy in the presence of a man who had hurt him so much. Playing with the hem of his jacket he had a difficult time making eye contact. "What we talked about. I want to do it."

Swersky sat back silent for a moment. "Ok. Do you need Sergeant Callahan's phone number?" It was clear that the Lieutenant was wondering why Bosco was there.

"No. I have his number. I came for my stuff." Bosco did come to get the stuff out of his locker but he also came to find some sense of closure. Shrugging his shoulders, Swersky gestured toward the locker room. Not wanting to work up any additional small talk, Bosco turned and made a beeline toward the locker room. Pushing the door open he paused for a moment. There were a few people scattered around, although he was thankful that none of them seemed too concerned with him. Bosco stopped in front of his locker. His hand rested on the cold metal, as he stood momentarily breathless. The last time he opened this locker Faith was alive and his life made sense. It seemed like only yesterday. Slowly spinning the lock, Bosco's heart sank as the lock clicked. Swinging the door open, he stood there for a moment. His clothes were just as he left them. His boots thrown in the bottom were still half tied as he was pulled them off in haste that day; running late as usual. Running his hands over the clothing on the hook, Bosco wished that the could put those clothes back on walk back through that door and rewind this horror show one month. That wasn't reality, though, and he needed to move forward no matter how hard it was.

Pulling his bag out, Bosco began shoving his belongings away. He didn't hear Sully and Davis come into the locker room until it was too late.

"Jesus Christ, Bosco! What are you doing here?" Sully stared at the younger man as if he couldn't believe his eyes.

"I'm getting my things." Bosco hoped that Sully didn't probe because then he would have to lie. He didn't know all the details of this undercover op but he was pretty sure that he needed to make it look like he had quit the force. He needed to disappear in a way that didn't raise any suspicion.

"What do you mean? What's going on?" Sully wasn't going to make this easy.

Bosco stopped what he was doing for a moment to look at his colleagues. "I'm out, Sully. I'm done." He looked them right in the eye and lied. It wasn't so hard.

"You're done? You're quitting the force?" Davis was apparently just as dumbfounded as his partner as they both stared at Bosco in shock.

"They told me I could either take an assault charge or resign." Bosco shrugged his shoulders, it wasn't a complete lie just a variation of the truth. "Not like it matters much anyway." His last comment was ambiguous. Not like it mattered because be had already been to Rikers. Not like it mattered because his friends and his boss had betrayed him. And not like it mattered because he didn't want to do this job if he couldn't do it with Faith.

Bosco finished packing his bag as he slammed the metal door closed. "So that's it." Sully wouldn't let it go.

"That's it. I'm done." Edging past the pair, Bosco walked toward the door. Turning, he caught sight of Faith's locker. It was empty as the door stood wide open. Fred must have come for her things. Before Sully could press him any further, Bosco quickly slipped out the door leaving the older man and his partner staring at each other in shock. Cruising past Swersky's office, Bosco hoped that he could make it out of the house without speaking to anyone else.

"Oh, Bosco could you come here please?" Too late, Swersky had spotted him.

Hesitantly he walked back into the boss's office. He really didn't want to hear Lieu apologize anymore for what happened. He should have never let it happen in the first place. It was too late for sorry.

"Could you take that with you too?" The Lieu gestured toward a box sitting on the floor. It was Faith's stuff. "I called Fred a couple of weeks ago but he never called me back." Bosco stared at the box. Fred probably didn't want to set foot anywhere near the house, and that was probably for the best. Every time something bad happened Fred would demand that Faith quit and find something safer to do. Of course Faith just laughed him off, they both knew that they really had no choice. No other job was going to pay as much or have benefits, nonetheless, Fred continued to harbor a certain level of contempt for the situation. Bending over, Bosco scooped the box up in his arms. It was heavier than he thought as he struggled to adjust the bag on his shoulder. Peering over the edge of the cardboard his eyes fell on a few scraps of paper and some clothing. Nothing special really, but if he had his choice he would hold onto these seemingly meaningless articles forever. They represented a moment in time that he could never get back. The last time Faith wore these clothes everything was ok. Everything was normal. They had no idea of what was about to come. Sighing, Bosco wished that he could close his eyes and that when he opened them Faith would be standing there wearing those clothes. He would tell her to go home. Don't go out on patrol because something bad is going to happen.

'Go home, Faith. Something horrible is going to happen if you stay. Something that I won't be able to stop. Go home because I can't protect you from what's coming.'

Bosco wished for a lot of things; a lot of things that would never come true. Tightening his grip on the box, Bosco turned to leave the Lieutenant's office without saying a word. There were no words left to say.

"Bosco…" He didn't want to stop, to turn, or to look at the man who betrayed him so badly. He just wanted to go already. Pausing Bosco refused to turn around. He heard Lieutenant sigh loudly, "Good luck." Nodding a little he walked away without acknowledging his former boss any further.

Thankfully Bosco was able to make it to his car without any additional encounters. The entire third watch was still in roll call so he was going to make it a priority to get the hell out of there before they hit the street. Gently sitting the box of Faith's things down on the passenger seat, he slid behind the wheel slamming the door. It was over; his time at the 55 was through. Glancing up at the building, a wave of sadness washed over him. He would never walk through those doors again. He would never park 55-David at the end of a long shift and look over at his partner; thankful that they had made it through another day alive. Part of him thought that it would last forever; the truth was, however, that nothing lasted forever. As fast as it had come, it was gone.

Looking over at the box of Faith's belongings, Bosco's eye was caught by a white envelope. It was sealed and it had no name on the front; just a plain white envelope. Bosco ran his fingers over the seal wondering if he should open it. Inside the envelope was the letter that Faith had written to Bosco the night after Jackson nearly strangled her in that dark, dirty alley. If something happened to her, she wanted him to know the truth. She wanted him to know that it was one of their own who did this to her. It would have explained everything. But he didn't open it.

Tucking the envelope back into the box, Bosco's eyes landed on a photograph of himself and Faith. It was taken shortly after they partnered up six years ago. They were sitting on the hood of 55-David smiling like two kids who had no idea how the story would end. Running his thumb over her face, a few tears involuntarily sprung up in Bosco's eyes. He didn't want to do this. Not now; he wasn't ready. Stuffing the picture back into the box, Bosco folded up the flaps. He didn't want to look at anything else in there right now. Maybe one day, just not right now.

Quickly, he put the car into gear as he saw Sully and Davis and the rest of the third watch emerge from the building. Taking one last look at the 55, Bosco inhaled deeply. He was torn between looking back and moving forward. The place that he knew; the place that he belonged was gone, and no matter what he did he wouldn't be able to get it back. Not now and not ever. So he needed to look ahead, jump into the unknown, and hope that his life to come would be half as good as the life he had known.

Driving away, Bosco tried not to watch as the house faded from view. There was a piece of him still there. A wounded, heartbroken, damaged piece that had been ripped away so abruptly he hadn't even had a chance to try and hold on.

* * *

"How long are we going to sit here?" Rolling his eyes, a rather annoyed Ty Davis glanced at his partner. Sully's gaze didn't waver, though, as he stared straight ahead.

"Until I say we're done." Sully had made the decision for both of them to keep an eye on the whereabouts of Brian Jackson and his partner. At roll call, the Lieu announced that Bosco had resigned from the NYPD. That was it. No explanation; just that he was gone for good. Their encounter in the locker room still fresh in his mind, Sully's sense of trouble continued to grow and overwhelm his ability to rationalize. Bosco loved being a cop more than anything else, and for him to just walk away and not fight for it. It just didn't make any sense.

"Is this about Bosco?"

Sighing loudly, Sully looked at his partner, "Don't you think it's a little strange? Bosco just quitting like that?"

Taking a moment, Davis stared out the passenger window before replying, "Well it didn't seem like he had much of choice. If he didn't resign he would have had a take a felony charge and his career would have been over anyway."

"I know, Ty, but there are ways around things. The Lieutenant could have worked something out with that piece of shit doctor. I just…I thought that Bosco wouldn't have gone down without a fight."

"Maybe he doesn't want to be a cop anymore." Sully interrupted Davis by huffing loudly. That was just ridiculous. Bosco was the NYPD; there was no separating the two. "No, I'm serious Sul. Did you think that maybe Bosco doesn't want this anymore? I mean Faith is dead. She's gone and I doubt that Bosco would ever be able to come to work without thinking about her and what happened."

Sully could concede that losing a partner was difficult but it didn't mean that you had to walk away. "I know but he still had us and the boss and…" Before Sully could continue Ty cut in.

"Yeah his friends, right? The friends that locked him to an ER stretcher and the friends that watched as IAB drug him off to Rikers. If I had friends like those I'd definitely want to come back to work and think about how my partner is dead and live with the fact that I couldn't do a damn thing about it."

Sully just stared at him for a moment or two. He felt more than guilty about everything with Bosco and it was clear that his partner felt the same. Hindsight is twenty/twenty; there were a lot of things that they should have done over the past month that they didn't. It was too late now.

"So I don't know. Maybe Bosco doesn't want to come back. Would you?"

He wouldn't. When Ty Sr., had been killed Sully still had his friends at the house. He couldn't imagine what it would have been like to be alone. Turning attention back toward the empty cruiser parked up the block, Sully watched the building that Jackson and Geidel had disappeared into almost thirty minutes ago.

"Why the hell are we doing this?" Davis was becoming more annoyed.

"Because something is going on." Sully's reply was simple but said everything that he suspected to be true.

"Ok, now we're following other cops around?"

"Davis, look, two nights before Faith died she asked me what I would do if I thought that someone was dirty." Sully paused to let the weight of his words sink in. "At the funeral, while Bosco was being taken away, I looked across the crowd and there was Brian Jackson with a big smile on his face. Now what the hell do you make of that?"

Davis was confused. "What do you mean?"

Sighing, Sully shook his head, "I don't know. Faith comes to me, worried that someone is dirty then two days later she's dead. Who else is involved in this accident? Brian Jackson. The same person who is sitting at Faith's funeral with a big smile on his face as her partner is being taken away in handcuffs. I just…I just have a feeling that this accident might not have been an accident at all."

Davis's eyes widened as the realization of what his partner was saying finally dawned on him. At first he thought that Sully was reading into things too much, but then he conceded that his partner's instincts were strong and when he had a feeling he was usually right. "So what are we going to do?"

"There's nothing we can do. I sincerely doubt that IAB is going to launch an investigation based on my feelings," Sully smiled wryly as he recalled his checkered past with IAB captain CT Finney. "We're just going to wait, and watc, and hope that one of them screws up."

* * *

Bosco sat on the park bench across from Emily's school. Glancing at his watch, it was nearly three thirty; she should be done any minute. Seeing the little girl finally come through the door, Bosco stood up and crossed the street.

"Emily!" Turning, she smiled widely when she saw Bosco.

"Bosco!" Bending over, he took Faith's daughter into his arms and hugged her tightly. "Where you been, Uncle Bosco?"

Pausing for a moment Bosco struggled to answer. "I…I just had some things to take care of. Are you doing ok, Em?"

Shrugging her shoulders Emily chewed on her lower lip. She didn't respond as Bosco's heart sank. She missed Faith. Taking the little girl by the hand, they started walking home. "Is your daddy coming to pick you up?"

Emily shook her head. "No, he's at work. He's going to pick Charlie up from soccer tonight." Bosco nodded as they walked the remainder of the three blocks between the school and Faith's apartment in silence. Pausing outside the building, Bosco turned to face Emily.

"Emily, I'm going away for a little while, but I want you to know that you can call me if you needed anything." Emily looked at little confused.

"Where are you going?"

Bosco smiled, "Not too far away. Don't worry if you need me, I'll be there." He could see that Emily was still a little confused although slightly more reassured. Writing his number down on a scrap of paper, he folded it up and placed it in her hand.

"Ok." Standing up, Bosco ran his hand through her long, dark hair. Running his thumb over her cheek she smiled sadly at her.

"Ok, Emily, I'll see you soon." Turning, he walked away. Emily stood there for a few moments watching as the last piece of her mother walked down the street.

Bosco didn't want to linger very long with Emily. He needed to tell her that he was leaving but he didn't want to get into any specifics. He needed to make sure that she knew he would always be there for her no matter what. Whether it compromised his undercover status or not, Bosco couldn't walk away from Faith's children. He had already broken the most important promise that he ever made to them. He promised to keep their mother safe, to protect her, and to have her back. He wouldn't let them down again.

* * *

Walking along Fulton Street, Liz's eyes bounced from corner to corner. All the usual characters were out tonight. She walked slowly, allowing Atlas plenty of time to find a suitable dumping ground. Watching as the slightly overweight German Shepard nosed through the trash-strewn grass her thoughts involuntarily drifted to Bosco. She hadn't heard from him in almost a month. She wondered what he was doing. After their meeting, Sergeant Callahan filled her in on some of the specifics. Bosco had been a cop for nearly six years in the 55. He had an exemplary service record with only an occasional civilian complaint. Since the academy he had only been partnered with one person, Faith Yokas. One month ago they had been in a car accident that injured Bosco and ultimately took his partner's life. She didn't know much about him but she was sure that he was probably blaming himself. In fact she knew that he was blaming himself. The way that held onto her, a total stranger, the night that they met made her think that he was dealing with more guilt and grief than anyone could ever imagine. If he decided to take the assignment and go undercover with her, she knew that she would have her work cut out for her. Not only would Liz need to teach him the ropes of undercover, she would also need to carefully navigate his severely damaged emotional state. She wasn't lying, though, when she told him that she would love to be his partner. The night that she had picked him up from Riker's, it was clear that he had just went through hell and survived. Not only had he survived, he still has enough fight left to argue with her. No matter how hopeless or defeated he might have felt, he still couldn't completely give up on himself. She liked that and she admired that. Atlas finally found a suitable place to leave his mark behind as they continued down the street.

"Red tops here, red tops here." A skinny, gap toothed, rather unhealthy looking woman saw her pass by and thought it a perfect opportunity to tout her product. Even drug dealers need marketing. Shaking her head, Liz pulled Atlas up the stairs of her cover apartment. She had been living in a small but clean apartment on the fringes of Bed-Sty for eight months now. It was actually one of the nicer places in the area and she was happy that Callahan had set her up in a place with a locking door instead of one of the dilapidated high rises across the street. Turning the key to her one bedroom apartment, Liz removed Atlas's collar and lease as he sauntered over to the couch. While he was essentially harmless, the dog offered a certain level of protection simply due to his appearance. The most dangerous aspect of undercover work is the fact that there isn't any back up. So you need to create a presence that keeps trouble far away, and nothing enhances a street presence more than a one hundred and twenty pound dog at your side. Good thing that didn't realize he was all bark and no bite.

Collapsing on the couch, she absent-mindedly ran her fingers through the dog's thick fur. Not expecting a knock at the door, she jumped at the sudden interruption. Scanning the apartment she searched for her gun. Grabbing if off the counter she held it at her side as she slowly undid the locks. Cracking the door, a whoosh of air escaped her lips as she saw Bosco standing there. Opening the door widely, she gestured for him to come in. He looked slightly startled by the gun in her hand.

"Oh, sorry. I wasn't expecting anyone and you never know around here…" Putting the gun down on the counter she ushered him inside as she closed the door. From the couch Atlas sprang up and ran over to Bosco. Wagging his tail, he was more concerned about receiving attention from this new stranger than protecting his master. All bark and no bite.

"I met up Callahan already. I thought he would have called you." Liz rolled her eyes; if there was one thing she hated about undercover it was the poor communication.

"Yeah, well, anyway. Sit down, please." Looking around, Bosco sat his bags down on the floor before hesitantly sitting down on the couch. Atlas, not wasting anytime, crawled up in the couch right next to Bosco and laid his head in his lap. Liz laughed a little, for all his physical presence that dog was essentially useless. "I hope you like dogs."

Bosco stroked the Atlas's head as he smiled a little, "I love dogs."

Smiling Liz regarded Bosco thoughtfully, "So, Bosco, how have you been?"

Her first question wasn't about the job; it was about him. She didn't know a damn thing about him outside of the job, and yet she was most concerned about how he was doing. Bosco had only been here a couple of minutes and he already felt like he belonged. He felt like someone actually gave a damn. And much to his surprise he wasn't at the 55 with his friends, he was at some random cover apartment in Brooklyn with a complete stranger.

"I'm ok." Really, he wasn't ok; he was anything but ok. He couldn't tell her that, though, he needed her to believe that he was ready and that he could do this. Because honestly, the hope that he could move forward and use this experience to put his life back to together was the only thing keeping him from falling apart.

Liz could spot a liar from a mile away. He wasn't ok. Bosco was far from ok. Still, she cut him some slack. He was trying his best. "Good, well, it's pretty late so I'll go over everything tomorrow. Let me give you the grand tour for now."

Getting off the couch, Bosco followed her into the bedroom. It was small as his eyes landed on two twin beds. "They've used this apartment for undercover a lot in the past, hence the two single beds." Bosco nodded, it made sense. Opening a door across from the bedroom, revealed a small bathroom that was old but very clean. "So that's it." She laughed. "I guess that tour wasn't so grand. Anyway, welcome to your new home." She smiled widely as Bosco found himself smiling back. There was something about her that just made him feel so at ease. He didn't even know her but he just felt so comfortable; it was strange. Looking around, Bosco let out a deep breath that he didn't know he was holding. He was home.

Please, please, please review! I love them

Above lyrics are from Goo Goo Dolls, "Home"


	11. Letting Go

" **Last Exit to Brooklyn"**

**Author:** carmen_085

**Disclaimer:** All Third Watch characters are property of NBC. All original characters belong to me

**Summary:** After a terrible tragedy changes his life, Bosco goes undercover to find redemption and justice in the most unlikely of places

**Author's Note:** Thank you all for being patient. Hope you like this one! Please review!

**Chapter Eleven**

" _Don't be scared to be free to let go_

_Show it off_

_Feel like letting go"_

The morning sunlight peeked through the curtains landing on Bosco's face. Blinking a few times, he reluctantly opened his eyes. Where was he? The room was small and unfamiliar as he struggled to wipe the sleep away. Sitting up in bed, a slight sense of panic rose up in his throat. Then his memory came back to him. Relaxing back into the bed, his life slowly came back into focus; the good, the bad, and everything else. Across the room, Liz and Atlas were still asleep. Bosco couldn't help but to smile a little at the sight of the large German Shepard and his new partner sandwiched together in the twin bed. Although they looked rather uncomfortable, neither really seemed to mind. Slowly easing himself out of bed he was careful not to make any noise. Bosco let out a deep sigh as he collapsed on the couch. Looking around the apartment he conceded that it was probably one of the nicer places in the area. When Callahan gave him the address of the Bed-Sty cover apartment he wasn't expecting much. This wasn't too bad, though, honestly things could have been a lot worse.

Bosco's musings were interrupted by the sight of Atlas lumbering out of the bedroom. The dog was definitely a good-looking German Shepard. Strong and muscular albeit a little thick around the middle, Bosco couldn't help but to wonder if he was also a member of the NYPD. Atlas walked directly over to the couch and crawled up next to Bosco laying his head in the young officer's lap. While he definitely had the look of a police dog, he certainly didn't have the disposition. Stroking the soft fur on the dog's head, Bosco didn't notice that Liz had walked into the room.

"I think you have a new best friend." His face spread into a slight smile as he watched his new partner curl up on the chair across from him.

"Yeah, I always wanted a dog. I just never had any time." Bosco's hand continued to stroke the content canine as his eyes stared blankly ahead.

"So…you must have a million questions." Getting up from the chair Liz went over the window and slid it open slightly. The cool spring air caused the curtain to sway gently as the sounds of the street drifted into the tiny apartment.

A wry smile crossed Bosco's face as he watched her move about the apartment, "Yeah I got a couple."

Sitting back down on the chair, Liz gestured toward Bosco, "Well, ask anything you want. I'm here to help you figure this out."

Bosco felt his heart quicken a little as he misinterpreted her words. He definitely needed help figuring something out, although, it wasn't undercover work. Shaking off the sudden surge of anxiety, he brought himself back to the task at hand. He needed to focus on nothing other than the job. If his mind began to wander to other things, he feared that he might fall apart.

"So… what exactly are we doing here?" Liz was silent for a moment before getting up.

"Get your coat and come with me. I'll show you." Pushing Atlas out of his lap, Bosco followed her out the door more than a little intrigued by the whole situation.

Bosco followed Liz up several flights of stairs until they reached the top. Turning the knob to a steel door that had obviously seen better days, she became slightly miffed when it wouldn't open. Putting her shoulder into it, the beaten piece of metal finally gave way. Stepping over a pile of old newspapers the pair walked out onto the roof. Bosco would have been lying if he said that he wasn't impressed by the view. Despite the location of the building, it had one of the best views of lower Manhattan that he had ever seen. Near the corner of the roof were two metal chairs. Sitting down in one, Liz kicked her feet up on the rim of the roof. Her long brown hair moved gently in the breeze as the spring sun warmed her face. Walking over, Bosco sat down in the other chair.

"Great view, huh?" She smiled at him as he stared ahead.

"Yeah, it's pretty nice." They sat there in silence for a moment before Bosco finally spoke up. "You didn't bring me up here to look at the view, though."

Taking a deep breath, Liz regarded Bosco seriously. It was time to get down to business. "How well do you know Brooklyn, Bosco?"

Bosco shook his head. He didn't really know much at all about Brooklyn. All of his contacts and experiences mainly revolved around the 55. "Not that well at all."

"This place is fucked up, ok?" Bosco raised his eyebrows, she didn't waste any time getting to the point. Shrugging her shoulders as if it was a common fact, Liz continued, "For starters there is more dope running through this neighborhood than anywhere else in the city, and when I say more I mean a lot more; like thirty or forty kilos a week." Bosco's mouth dropped open; that was a lot of dope indeed. He didn't know for sure but he wouldn't estimate more than ten kilos a week passed through the 55. Liz nodded acknowledging his surprise. "Yeah I know, a lot right? Come here I want to show you something." Leaning forward, Liz pointed toward a collection of buildings across the street. "That's the Marcy Projects, four towers full of every kind of illicit activity imaginable." Scanning the street, Liz nodded toward a man standing on the corner outside the projects. "See that guy? That's Rickey, he's waiting for the day's delivery which should be arriving…" She trailed off checking her watch before glancing back up at the street, "Right about now." A dark car pulled up to the corner as a pair of hands jutted what looked like a gigantic turkey roaster out the window. The man Liz identified as Rickey wasted no time hustling back inside the building.

"What the hell was that? It looked like a…" Bosco trailed off as she finished his sentence for him.

"A roasting pan?"

"Yeah." Liz laughed a little as she shook her head.

"Man, I've been here for eight months and I've seen them haul dope in that building using everything imaginable. As if no one knows what they're doing." Liz paused for a moment shaking her head at the sheer stupidity of it all. "So, right about now Rickey is hustling his fat ass up the stairs to apartment 602 where Andre Barksdale will check the package and then leave. He never touches the dope; just looks at it. After he leaves Rickey and few of the other mopes will cut down the product and package it for the days sales. This will probably take about an hour or two. Then they hit the street. By noon they're on every corner, along every avenue all the way up and down Bed Sty."

"Where are the cops?" Liz looked at Bosco a little incredulously before shaking it off.

"The cops? Bosco, the cops around here are worse than the criminals. Not only do they not do anything, most of them also actively participate in the drug trade. I mean I can name at least five cops right off the top of my head that I know for a fact are on the take and…"

"And no one's doing anything about it?"

"No one wants to work here, Bosco. This precinct is a dumping ground for cops who screwed up elsewhere. So honestly, I think the bosses are just happy they have warm bodies to send out on patrol; who really cares what they're doing out there?"

A disturbing thought suddenly occurred to Bosco as he listened to her talk. He could have been sent here to work. He was considered a problem in the 55, the department could have easily dumped him in Bed Sty along with all the other misfits. Would he have become dirty like the rest of them; robbing drug dealers and stealing everything he could get his hands on? Letting out a breathing that he didn't know he was holding, Bosco suddenly felt very lucky that someone had been looking out for him. Leaning back in his chair, Bosco stared at his partner.

"There they are, just like clock work." Liz pointed toward the building as a group of young men exited the front door and scattered. Each one of them carrying a bag of some sort they all scurried toward their respective posts. "Those bags, that's the ground stash. They'll hide it somewhere in the area. Most dealers only keep a bag or two on them at any given time, then they use runners, usually little kids, to go back and forth to the ground stash."

Peering over the building Bosco watched as people began to line up in the alleyway across the street. "What the hell is going on over there?"

Sitting forward, Liz saw what Bosco was talking about. "Oh, that's a tester line. Every morning the crew gives out free blasts to the first ten or fifteen people. The testers are always the strongest, most potent packs. Keeps the junkies coming back all day long. You know, it's the Bed-Sty version of marketing." Bosco nodded, it made sense.

"So if you know all this, why can't we just go and arrest Barksdale?"

Liz smiled wryly, her partner made a good point. "Because Bosco, in this world it's not what you know; it's what you can prove."

Bosco inhaled deeply, she was right. He only had one question left. "So where do we fit into all this?"

Liz stared at him for a moment before smiling slightly. "We're here to get Barksdale. Eight months I've been trying to figure out a way to get him and the dope in the same room and I think I've finally figured it out. I've been working as a bartender in one of the bars he uses to launder money. A CI we have in the organization introduced me and after months of work I think I've finally started to gain their trust. The owner of the bar, Mickey, who is a mid level soldier for Barksdale likes me but better than that he trusts me. So for the past few weeks I've been in Mickey's ear telling him about my boyfriend," Liz winked at Bosco. He had figured as much. Bosco didn't know much about undercover work, but he knew that the only pairing that didn't look suspicious was the boyfriend/girlfriend. Staring at Liz as she talked, he didn't really have a problem with it. She was very pretty and for some reason he instantly felt at ease around her. Shaking his head, he quickly dismissed those thoughts. He couldn't let himself get close to her. Undercover work was dangerous and if something happened to her, he wasn't sure that he would be able to make it. He couldn't go through that again. He couldn't let her in; he couldn't bring himself to care about her too. Taking a deep breath he forced himself to focus on what she was saying.

"Mickey wants a promotion; he wants one bad. So I've been telling him that I have this boyfriend who has some major connections in the North Bronx. Let's just say he's very interested."

"Why the North Bronx? I don't know that area very well." Bosco was hesitant. The best lies were half true, and he didn't know anything about the North Bronx.

"It's ok. I do. The reason I picked the North Bronx is because Barksdale is looking to expand the business elsewhere and the North Bronx isn't currently controlled by any one crew. Just a bunch of rag tag misfits up there trying to make a dollar. Barksdale could easily move in and take over."

Bosco was a little excited at the idea of what they could do together. This could be big for both of them.

Liz smiled widely at him, "So what do you think? Are you in?"

Bosco couldn't help but to smile back at her, "Of course I'm in."

They sat there staring at each other for a moment before a commotion erupted below them in the alley.

"Give me the fucking dope you little prick!" Getting up Bosco and Liz walked over to the edge. Below them they watched as two cops jacked a young boy up against the building. One of the cops wound up and hit the kid as hard as he could. Sliding down the wall, the boy collapsed on the group. Bosco watched in horror as the cops rifled through the kid's pockets collecting a few bags of dope and a thin wad of money. Pocketing their finds, the two cops walked away leaving the boy unconscious and bleeding on the ground.

Liz shook her head as she walked toward the stairs, "See what I mean."

* * *

Brian Jackson sat in his RMP under the highway. Staring at the building in front of him, he thought that it was about time to get back to business. It has been nearly a month and a half since Yokas died, and much to his delight Boscorelli was no where to be found. He had been laying low for the past few weeks, and his supply had dwindled. It was time to get back out there.

"Brian, I don't know about this." His partner's annoying voice cut through his thoughts.

Rolling his eyes, he sighed loudly. "It's fine Scott. No one knows, all right? Yokas is dead, Bosco is gone, and we don't have anything to worry about, OK?"

"I don't like it." Jackson didn't know how much longer he could put up with his partner's sniveling.

"Well you know what, Scott! I don't give a shit what you like! We're in this too far to turn back now. It's you and me until the end whether you like it or not! So stop your bitching and let's go." Before his partner could muster a response, Jackson got out of the car and began walking toward the dilapidated apartment building. Reluctantly, Geidel followed.

Down the street, Sully and Davis watched as the pair went into the building. They had been trailing Jackson and Geidel casually for the last two weeks. Up until tonight the pair hadn't done anything unusual. In fact, Sully was about to give up on the whole idea.

"What do you suppose they're going to do in there?" Davis gestured toward the building,

"I didn't hear any calls go out over the radio, did you?"

Davis shook his head, "Nope. What do you say we go check it out?"

Sully nodded his head in approval, "They might need back up after all."

Davis smirked at his partner as they climbed out of their RMP.

Although he couldn't be sure, Sully had a suspicion that 19008 Lexington Avenue was a crack house. If he couldn't guess that from the odor of piss in the foyer, the empty glassine vials scattered on the stairs would have definitely done the trick. Slowly he and Davis inched up the stairs listening carefully for any sounds. On the floor above them they heard two voices arguing lowly. Rounding the corner of the stairs Sully saw Jackson and his partner standing in front of apartment 7B discussing something in a low voice. They were so engaged in their conversation that they didn't even hear Sully and Davis until it was too late.

"You guys need any back up?" Jackson almost shit his pants when he saw them standing there. It was clear to both Sully and Davis that they had caught their colleagues in the act. Geidel stared at them in shock as Jackson was first to find his voice.

"No. No thank you. We're fine." Smiling he tried to pretend like he appreciative for their concern when really he wanted to shoot them both right then and there.

Davis looked at Sully confused, "Did you hear a call go out on the radio for job over here? I didn't. We wouldn't have even known you guys were here if we hadn't driven by and seen your RMP out front."

"No I didn't hear a call." Sully regarded the pair quizzically, "What's going on, guys?"

Jackson forced a smile. "Well being check. Just doing a favor."

Davis smiled a little; Jackson was a practiced liar. He kept things simple and vague. "Well since we're all here," Davis gestured toward the door, "Let's check."

Sully didn't miss the scowl on his colleague's face. Turning toward the door, Jackson hit the dented metal with his nightstick. Geidel's gaze shifted nervously between his partner and the other two. He was just going to keep his mouth shut and let Brian do the talking. That always seemed to work.

"Who Der?" A voice from inside the apartment broke the tension.

Jackson leaned against the doorframe looking more than a little apprehensive, "NYPD. Open up!"

The door swung open to reveal a gap-toothed man who smiled widely when he saw Jackson. His smile instantly faded, however, when he saw Sullivan and Davis.

"What the hell is this?"

Jackson stared at the man. "It's a well being check, sir. Someone was concerned that they hadn't seen you in a few days." Sully picked up on the sudden emphasis in Jackson's voice. Well being check my ass,

"I'm good, man. Y'all po-lice can't ever let a brother have some peace. Damn!" Slamming the door in Jackson's face, he stood there for a moment staring at the closed door.

"I guess we're done here. What do you think, Davis?"

"I think we're good." The banter between the two of them was almost enough to make Jackson blow a gasket. Turning on his heel he pushed past the men and hurried down the stairs. Geidel followed trying to appear as non-chalant as possible. Exchanging glances, Sully and Davis felt somewhat satisfied with their efforts as they exited the building and crossed the street to their RMP.

Jackson sat behind the wheel watching Sullivan and his partner walk in front of him. First Yokas now Sullivan was up his ass. Putting the car into gear he sneered, he had no problem getting rid of Faith. Sully and Davis had better watch their step. He had already proven that he would go to whatever means necessary to take care of a problem.

* * *

Bosco sat on the couch waiting for Liz to finish getting ready. They were going to the bar where she worked tonight. She was going to introduce him to Mickey. It was crucial that Bosco made a good impression on the guy. He needed Mickey to trust him and eat up all the bullshit he was about to feed him. Liz had filled him in on the particulars of his North Bronx "connection" and after going over it nearly a hundred times in his mind he was pretty sure that he could make it work. Sighing, Bosco had to admit that he was nervous about the whole scenario. What if he screwed up? What if they saw right through him?

As usual Atlas had parked himself on the couch next to Bosco. For one reason or another, the dog had taken an instant liking to Bosco and he was grateful. Sitting there running his hand over the dog's smooth fur relaxed his frayed nerves. All the guilt and the self loathing and hate disappeared when all he had to think about was moving his hand back and forth on the canine's head.

"Hey Liz?" From the bathroom his partner peeked around the corner holding a straightening iron in one hand and a fistful of hair in the other.

"Yeah?"

"Where did you get Atlas?" She didn't immediately respond as he heard her unplug the iron. Shutting the light off, she appeared from the bathroom staring at him in silence. A sad smile suddenly crossed her otherwise attractive features. Sitting down next to Bosco on the couch she reached over into his lap to scratch the dog's head.

"Atlas used to be a police dog. He was my partner's dog."

Bosco sat there in silence. He sensed that she had more to say so he waited.

"Alright…um…" Her voice was a little shaky and Bosco instantly regretted bringing up the subject.

"It's ok. I didn't mean to…" Before he could finish she touched his hand.

"No, I want to tell you. Just hold on a second." Taking a deep breath she looked around the apartment before meeting his eyes again. "Ok. I was a rookie. My training officer hated me; told everyone I had no business being a cop. I never did anything wrong, I just wasn't what he thought a cop should be. I was too small, too pretty, too diplomatic, but more than all that I was a woman. After I was on my own no one wanted to work with me. They all thought I was liability. So I rode alone. Can you believe that? I was twenty four years old, had less than a year on a job, and I was riding around alone in Brooklyn." She laughed bitterly. Bosco just stared at her. "Anyway, one night I went to a domestic, no one backed me up, and things got out of control. I got beat, and when I say beat I mean I had to spend the night in the hospital. After that, I went back to work expecting things to be no different. While I had been out a K-9 Officer named Dave started with his dog Atlas." Bosco didn't like where this was going. He suddenly felt uncomfortable although he didn't have the heart to stop her.

"Dave heard about what happened and was appalled. So he asked me if I'd like to partner up with him. Normally, K-9 officers don't ride with other people but for me they decided to make an exception. So Dave, Atlas, and I were partners until two years ago." She stopped for a moment her eyes suddenly misting over.

"May 15, 1999. We went on a call for shots fired. We got to the scene and there's a gunman but no victim. As soon as he sees us, he takes off. There was something off about the whole situation. I didn't like it and I tried to tell Dave that I thought it was set up. You see, a week before we made a huge bust in the area and I had a feeling that there was going to be payback. Dave wasn't sure about it either but before we could stop him Atlas tore off after the gunman. Without thinking Dave ran after the dog and I got back into the car and circled around the block thinking I could cut them off." She stopped a tear sliding down her cheek. Bosco didn't know what to do. He suddenly felt sick.

"It was a set up. They were waiting for him. When Dave rounded the corner into the alley there were six of them standing there." She took a deep breath, "By the time I got there they were gone. Dave was lying on the wet pavement, shot in the head. Atlas was lying on top of him. He stayed there for hours. We couldn't get him to leave Dave's side. I ended up having to pick him up and carry him to the car." Bosco didn't want to feel anything for her but he couldn't help it. Taking her hand in his own, he sat in silence unable to find the right words.

"That was the last day Atlas ever worked. After everything was over, Dave's wife couldn't bear to look at the dog. It was too hard for her; said it was like having a piece of Dave there to remind her what happened. So one day she showed up at my apartment with Atlas. I had already lost one partner; there was no way I was going to turn my back on the other. We've been best buddies ever since."

Shrugging her shoulders, Liz wiped her eyes. Bosco was stunned. He didn't think that it was possible for another person in this world to feel as much pain as he did. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe this was all meant to be. Offering his partner a sad smile, he stared at the dog sleeping in his lap.

"I know you just lost your partner, Bosco, and I'm not going to pretend like I know what you've been though. I…I just want you to know that I'm here for you and you aren't alone in this. Atlas is here too. If there is anyone in this world that knows how much it hurts to lose a partner, it's him. We can at least try to reason with ourselves about what happened, he…all he knows is that he let Dave down and he can't ever make it right."

Bosco had to admit that he was close to tears listening to her talk. He wanted so badly to keep her out, to not feel anything towards her, and here he was not doing a very good job of it. He didn't want to make eye contact, afraid that he might lose it.

"Thank you." It was all he could muster. Liz stood up and walked over to the bathroom. She wanted to put some space between them. While she wanted Bosco to know that she was there for him, she also didn't want to seem too pushy. If he ever talked to her, it would be on his own time. Staring at herself in the mirror, Liz wondered if maybe she had been too open with him. She had only known him for a couple of days. Peering into the living room she watched as Bosco ran his hand back and forth over the dog's head. She couldn't have answered his question without telling him what happened. She didn't want to lie to him either. She needed him to trust her, so she opened herself up and offered him a piece of her life. Liz only hoped that he would know what to do with it.

Bosco barely remembered the four blocks on the way to the bar. Liz was talking; pointing certain things out, but all he could think about was what she said earlier. After Faith died, Bosco didn't think that there was a chance he could ever be normal again. He didn't think he could ever smile again or feel any true happiness. Liz seemed so normal and so energetic that he never would have guessed that she had, at one time, been where he was right now. Lost in a hole of darkness clinging to a shred of hope that his life might one day be worth living again. Watching as she talked animatedly, he smiled slightly. It made him feel better just being near her. She was living proof that he could make it. It might take time but one day he could be there. It gave him honest hope, and he hadn't had very much of that lately.

The bar was dimly lit although Bosco was genuinely surprised to see a mix of all races inside. In a predominantly black neighborhood, he had silently been wondering how an unassuming white girl like Liz had assimilated so well. Barksdale was definitely a renaissance man, willing to look past traditional barrier such as race to expand his business. Bosco took a seat at the bar as he watched Liz work. She told him that she had started there as bartender but had recently been promoted to "guest relations". Basically it meant she kept the customers happy by dancing with them, flirting with them, and getting them whatever they wanted. The idea made Bosco feel slightly uncomfortable although she couldn't have been in a better position for their operation. He had only been there ten minutes and it was clear that she knew everyone.

Bosco ordered a drink and watched as his "cover" girlfriend worked the crowd. He was impressed; it was like she wasn't a cop at all. She blended so well that he began to worry he couldn't stack up to her. What if they saw right through him? Rubbing his palms on his jeans, Bosco felt nervous. He needed to pull this off.

Bosco watched Liz dance with some guy that she seemed to know pretty well. Her long brown hair bounced in the dim light. Bosco would be lying if he said that he didn't find her attractive. She was a little shorter than him, with clear blue eyes and a face that was cute in an ordinary sort of way. He watched her move side to side in the skintight jeans and black tank top. As she explained to him, she would never dress like this in her real life it was all about playing a part. Either way, Bosco had a suspicion that she was the kind of girl that looked good in anything.

Across the room, Liz caught Bosco staring at her. Patting her dance partner on the shoulder she walked away. Bosco stiffened when he realized that she was coming for him. Taking him by the hands, he reluctantly allowed her to pull him out onto the dance floor. Liz smiled when she felt how sweaty his hands were. He was nervous; she knew he would be. Leaning in close she was inches from his face.

"You're doing great, now just relax." The music blared something Bosco didn't recognize as she moved against him. Swallowing hard, this was a lot for him. Liz could see that he was apprehensive. Taking his hands she put them firmly against her backside, causing Bosco to raise his eyebrows in surprise.

"You're supposed to be in love with me, remember? We're a hot and heavy couple. So for the next couple hours you need to think that I'm the hottest shit since sliced bread. Can you do that?"

Bosco laughed both because of her silliness and because he was nervous as hell. Taking a deep breath he stared into her eyes, and allowed himself to let go a little. Sliding his hands up her back he pulled her closer to him to that there was no space into between them. Liz smiled her approval. The music as too loud for her to say anything to him, so she made every silly, ridiculous face she could think of until Bosco couldn't take looking at her anymore and his face broke out into a wide smile. She knew he was nervous and he appreciated the effort she was making to help him relax.

The music cut to a slower, softer track. Liz and Bosco swayed back and forth as she rested her head on his shoulder. Bringing her mouth close to his ear she whispered, "Look to your left."

Right next to them on the dance floor a girl snorted a line of cocaine off the back of her hand. Bosco couldn't say that he was too surprised, knowing that the place was a false front for drug money. Liz turned them around so that she could point a few other things out. "The man in the booth over my right shoulder is Barksdale." Bosco's gaze drifted toward the back of the room where a well -dressed black man sipped some sort of expensive champagne. Even in the dark he could see the excessive amount of jewelry on the man's hand. Bosco's eyes continued to scan the crowd until he landed on a young black man that was eyeing his partner rather menacingly. Spinning her around this time, he leaned in close.

"Who's that guy staring at us?" Liz looked over her shoulder. It was Justin Tipton, a regular who had been wooing Liz for the last few months. He probably wasn't too happy right now. Shaking her head, she decided not to worry Bosco with such bullshit when they had bigger things to take care of.

"No one." Bosco thought that she might be underplaying the truth although he had enough concerns right now. The music cut out as the two of them approached the bar. A young Dominican man instantly came over.

"Hey Liz." Smiling when she saw Mickey come over, Liz mused that this might all be easier than she had originally thought.

"Mickey! This is my boyfriend that I've been telling you about, Bosco." The man didn't hesitate to shake Bosco's hand.

"Man, you're girl, man she's pretty awesome. She said you know some people too, maybe help me step up." Bosco was taken aback. He didn't expect the guy to be so forthcoming, although, Liz had explained to him that Mickey was desperate for a promotion. Smiling widely, the young Dominican couldn't hide his excitement.

Bosco leaned toward Mickey, he didn't want to seem too eager although he wanted the guy to know that he was interested. "Yeah, I know some people up in the North Bronx near Intervale Avenue. They're looking to start something up, they just need someone to get them organized."

Bosco could practically she the dollar signs in Mickey's eyes.

"Yo Mickey!" A rather large man standing at Barksdale's table motioned the bartender over. Liz watched at he scurried toward them, undoubtedly telling them the exciting news. Turning back to Bosco she smiled,

"He's on the hook, all we have to do now is reel him in."

"That's wasn't hard, though, are you sure I was ok?" Liz nodded,

"Don't worry, I've laid a lot of the ground work already. We just needed a spark to get things going. I'll be back."

Bosco sat at the bar as he watched Liz mingle with the customers a little while longer. She definitely knew what she was doing. Eventually Mickey came back over and pulled up a bar stool, eager to continue the discussion. "I just talked to Mr. Barksdale and he's very excited at the prospect of setting up shop in the North Bronx. Very excited," Mickey nodded his head for emphasis.

Bosco took a deep breath, "You and me should get together and work out the details, you know."

Mickey nodded enthusiastically as Liz came over. The bar had begun emptying out.

"Ready to go?" She grabbed her coat from behind the bar. Bosco got up from the stool, he wanted Mickey to be interested but he didn't want to give him everything right now. Make him keep coming back for more.

"Yeah." Reaching for her hand they walked toward the door.

"You and me, Bosco, we're going to talk real soon! Real soon, pal!" Mickey called after them as Bosco offered him a confirmatory nod. He was definitely on the hook.

Bosco and Liz held hands until they were around the corner. Letting go, she stuffed her hands in her pockets. They didn't speak on the street, not knowing who might be around the corner listening. They were a block away from home when they heard rushed footsteps come up behind them. Before either of them could react, a man in a dark hooded sweatshirt landed a punch in the side of Bosco's face. Grabbing Liz, he threw her between the buildings. Winding up he smacked the left side of her face. It took a Liz minute to figure out what was going on before she started screaming. "Bosco! Bosco!"

The punch caused Bosco's vision to fade to white as he heard her screaming. Struggling to his knees, he shook his head. Taking a few deep breaths, he blinked his eyes.

_"Bosco! Bosco, where are you? Bosco it hurts!" She had no idea whether he was around or not, but right now she desperately wanted a familiar face._

Liz was the one screaming but all Bosco heard was Faith's voice. He was standing on the street in Bed-Sty but he couldn't move, he tried but he was frozen, his breath hitched in his throat. He saw the ER, Faith lying on there, as he felt more afraid than he ever had in his entire life.

_"Bosco! Where are you? It hurts so bad!" By this point Faith was absolutely frantic with pain and anxiety. Pushing a few people out of the way, Bosco finally made it to the bedside. A thin sheet was the only thing that covered her bleeding body as her eyes darted everywhere in search of him._

_Grabbing her hand without a second thought, Bosco leaned over the bed so that she could see him. "I'm here Faith. I'm here."_

_"Oh God…what's happening? Why does it hurt so much, Bosco?" He had no answer for her and it killed him. Bosco could only stare at her, his face wretched with guilt and sadness._

His heart was beating out of control as he watched his partner rolling around on the ground with a man twice her size. "Jesus Christ! Bosco! Where are you?" He was right there, he couldn't move though.

_"I'm here, Faith. I promise I won't leave." Tears sprung up in her eyes. She wasn't going to make it. She could feel it in every bone of her body. This was it._

_Sobbing loudly, Faith shook her head from side to side. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. "Oh Bosco! I'm not going to make it. I'm not." Her face was a runny mixture of tears and blood as she searched for an answer to her seemingly impossible problem._

_When Bosco heard the sincerity in her words, he started to cry. He didn't know what else to do. Rubbing his fingers across her cheek he could not find any words to make this right. He couldn't say everything was going to be ok, because at this point he honestly didn't believe it would be._

_"I'm here, Faith. I'm here."_

The man was on top of Liz now, as he had her pinned to the ground. Where the hell was Bosco? She felt the man's hand tighten around her throat as she kicked furiously. Her air supply was getting cut off as her mind screamed for help.

**I LOVE REVIEWS!**

**Above lyrics are from Sean Kingston's "Letting go"**


	12. Send the Pain Below

" **Last Exit to Brooklyn"**

 **Author:** carmen_085

 **Disclaimer:** All Third Watch characters are property of NBC. All original characters belong to me

 **Summary:** After a terrible tragedy changes his life, Bosco goes undercover to find redemption and justice in the most unlikely of places

 **Author's Note:** Thank you all for being patient. Hope you like this one! Please review!

**Chapter Twelve**

" _But long before, having hurt,_

_I'd send the pain below_

_I'd send the pain below_

_Much like suffocating"_

Never let them get you pinned on the ground. Do whatever it takes to stay on your feet. Once they get you pinned to the ground it's all over. She knew better, she knew that this was bad. This was police work 101, don't let them get the upper hand ever. She screwed up. If only she had seen him coming, she might have had a chance. She wasn't alone, though. Where the hell was Bosco? He was her partner; he was supposed to have her back. Perhaps he had been knocked out; he must have been knocked out because she had been yelling for him.

The man on top of Liz tightened his grip around her neck as the world became hazy. Forget Bosco, she would need to take care of this herself. Summoning all the strength that she had her adrenaline kicked into overdrive. Bringing her knee up she kicked the man as hard as she could in the stomach. The air whooshed out of his lungs as he loosened his grip around her neck. Seeing what might be her only opportunity, Liz brought her left arm around and hit him as hard as she could. The blow caused him to let go of her and fall to pavement. Quickly pushing herself up she gasped for air. Do whatever it takes to stay on your feet. Now she had the upper hand. Looking at her attacker in disgust she kicked him as hard as she could in the ribs. Bending over she pulled the stocking cap off his head. Leaning forward she pressed her knee against his windpipe. Gasping he stared at her in fear. In the dim streetlight she saw that it was Justin Tipton. She wasn't surprised. She saw the way he looked at her in the bar. She knew that he was jealous. She worried that he might do something. And he did.

Sneering she spoke in a low tone, "I never want to see you again, you son of bitch." Shifting her weight, Liz applied more pressure to his neck. Gurgling and gasping, Tipton blinked his eyes. "Do you understand me? Never again." Getting up, Liz stared down at him for a moment. Rubbing her fingers over the swollen flesh of her neck she contemplated kicking him again. Blood ran out of her nose as she wiped it with the back of her hand. Turning toward the street she expected Bosco to be lying on the sidewalk unconscious. Taking a few unsteady steps, she was surprised to find her partner sitting on the curb, head in his hands.

Bosco couldn't look at her as she stepped in front of him. "Bosco? Are you ok?" There was initially no response and then she heard a small whisper.

"I'm fine." Liz could feel the anger begin to boil in her veins. He was fine. Well, guess what? She wasn't. She could have been killed and he wouldn't have made a move to save her. She was far from fine. Staring at him for a moment she spoke quickly before turning on her heel, "Let's go."

Bosco watched as she walked away. Reluctantly, he followed her. He couldn't look at her until they were standing outside of their apartment door, then against his better judgment, he stole a quick glance. Her hair was a mess, as her left eye had already begun to swell. Blood dripped out of her nose as he also noticed the deep cuts on her knuckles. He had to look away; he was almost sick. Another partner, he couldn't protect. Thankfully though, this partner was able to protect herself; at least this time.

They walked into the dark apartment as he shut the door behind himself. Flicking on the overhead light, Liz turned to face him. He kept his eyes averted. She was mad. He didn't need to look at her to know that.

"Look at me." Bosco shook his head, he didn't want to. Slapping her fist on the counter, Liz wouldn't take no for an answer. "God Dammit! Bosco! LOOK AT ME!"

Slowly he met her eyes. Liz was momentarily taken aback by the amount of guilt she saw. She didn't expect that. They had only been partners for a couple of days. She considered easing off it a little but couldn't. She was just too angry to let this go. A million scenarios ran through her mind while she was on the ground getting strangled, but never ever did she think that Bosco was just standing there watching. She could have died, and he would have stood by and done nothing.

Picking up a glass on the counter she threw it as hard as she could against the wall. "What the FUCK was that?" Bosco jumped as the glass shattered into a million pieces.

He couldn't say anything. What was there to say? He couldn't lie and tell her that one punch had done him in. She wouldn't believe it. He couldn't tell her the truth either. That he missed Faith so much it hurt to breath. That he couldn't deal with his feelings now or ever. That he watched her and heard her yelling for him but all he could see and hear was Faith lying naked and bleeding…dying…in the emergency room. For the first time in his career he froze. What could he say?

"I'm sorry. It won't happen again." It was flimsy and he was pretty sure that she wasn't going to take it.

Liz looked at him like he was crazy. That was all he had to say?

"That's it? You're sorry. I almost got strangled and you're sorry." Bosco nodded. He wanted to die right now. His attitude was making her even angrier as she looked at him in disgust. "Well you're right about one thing. If anything like this ever happens again, you're out. You're gone. I don't give a shit. I need someone here who can actually do the job." Liz stopped talking when she saw the look on Bosco's face. Desperation. He had never actually told her, but she gathered that he probably didn't have anyone else right now. The thought made her sad. She was all that he had; a total stranger. Softening a little, Liz sighed loudly. "Bosco, I don't know what you're going through unless you tell me, alright? You're my partner now, and I want to be there for you but I need to know that you're going to be there for me too. I can't let you stay here if I can't trust you." She was rambling a little. Stopping she sniffed as blood continued to trickle down her face.

Bringing his eyes up to meet her, Bosco looked at her with as much sincerity as he could muster. "I promise, Liz. I'll be there. I won't let you down again." They stared at each other for a moment before she looked away. Shaking her head, she exhaled loudly. Disappearing into the bathroom, she left Bosco standing in the kitchen alone. A few moments went by before he heard the shower start.

Bosco stood there staring at the bathroom door. Anger began to replace sadness as he let out a low, ragged breath. Why did he always manage to completely screw everything up? This was his last chance. He wanted this. No, he needed this. Clenching his fists tightly he felt his heart speed up. Liz was right; if he didn't get it together he was gone. He didn't blame her. She needed to trust him; she needed to know that he would be there when the shit hit the fan. That's what partners do. Except him, of course, he hadn't been doing much of anything lately. Closing his eyes, Bosco's heart pounded loudly in his ears, he just stood there and did nothing. He was afraid. He was weak. He was everything that he never wanted to be. Opening his eyes, anger pulsed through his veins. He couldn't control it. Winding up, he drove his fist into the wall as hard as he could. The drywall crumbled under the force as pain immediately radiated up his arm. Pulling back, Bosco doubled over; the throbbing sensation in his hand slowly replacing the white-hot anger that filled him only moments ago. Rubbing his hand feverishly, he glanced toward the bathroom door. The shower turned off as the apartment was momentarily quiet. Breathing heavily he straightened himself up a bit.

From the bedroom doorway, Atlas peeked his head around the corner. He had taken off and hid under the bed when Liz threw the glass against the wall. Ambling over to Bosco, he curiously stared at the mess of drywall on the floor. Shaking his hand, Bosco looked down at the dog. His tail wagged back and forth as he looked up at his new master expectantly.

Shrugging his shoulders, Bosco eyed the dog with a knowing glance. "What? You want to go out?" Hopping excitedly toward the door, Bosco needed no further confirmation. He didn't really want to face Liz again tonight. She was right. She was right about everything. Leaning over he placed the collar around the dog's neck. Slipping out the door, Bosco closed it softly behind him.

Despite being almost two thirty in the morning, the streets were still alive with activity. Bosco still didn't know the neighborhood very well as he decided to let Atlas lead the way. He was in no hurry to get back. Absent-mindedly he watched as the dog nosed through the grass. He tried not to think about what had just happened but he couldn't help himself.

In six years as a cop there was always one thing that he could rely on, himself. It sounded cocky, but it was true. When the shit hit the fan, he didn't think he just reacted. It didn't really sound all that impressive, although, it was a valuable quality. Trusting your gut when your life and the lives of others were on the line was easier said than done. Despite that, Bosco seemed to always know what to do in the heat of the moment. Except for tonight. He had no explanation for what happened tonight. His partner needed him and he wasn't there. He let her down, and she would never know how absolutely sick he felt about it. Bosco had lost control and it scared him to think that it could happen again.

Atlas found a suitable spot to leave his mark before continuing down the street and around the corner. Bosco blinked a few times. In his mind's eye he saw Liz standing on the street staring down at him. Her hair a tangled mess, blood dripping out of her nose, her face was a mixture of concern and confusion. He wanted to tell her everything but he couldn't. She wouldn't want to work with him if she knew everything, he was sure of that. And then where would he be? Alone with no career, no friends, and no one who gave a shit.

A glass bottle flew into the street from somewhere behind him. The shattering sound made him jump as his brain flashed to another unpleasant image. He knew she was mad and she had a right to be. He was supposed to be there; to protect her, to watch her back and keep her safe. And what did he do? Nothing. If Liz hadn't been strong enough, or smart enough, or determined enough to survive who knows what might have happened. Everything was on her, and she came through. So she had every right to be angry. He just didn't expect her to be so explosive. In six years with Faith, they did their fair share of arguing but usually he was the one to explode not her. Faith was the calm one who thought with her head; Bosco was the crazy one that thought with his heart. Up until a few days ago, Faith had been the only person he had ever worked with so he couldn't help but to compare everyone else to her. Bosco didn't know why he expected Liz to be like Faith, but he did. What he was discovering, however, was that she reminded him of someone else. Himself.

Bosco watched as Atlas lumbered around the block still lost in thought. The dog must have inspected enough fire hydrants, signposts, and empty stamp bags to satisfy himself for the night as he guided Bosco back toward the apartment. Staring down at his shoes, Bosco avoided making eye contact with anyone. He didn't need anymore trouble tonight.

"GIVE ME THE MONEY YOU LITTLE PRICK!" A bellowing voice came from up ahead as Bosco and Atlas approached the alleyway behind their building. Stopping at the corner, Bosco peered around the dirty bricks. Atlas heeled at his side, patiently waiting their next move. In the dim light he saw a young boy jacked up against the wall. A fine mist began falling from the sky as Bosco blinked a few times. One man leaned against the boy hard as the other rifled through his pocket, looking for anything worth taking. A wad of cash abruptly fell to the ground as the two men backed away. Bosco drew in a deep breath as he was finally able to get a better look.

Cops.

Their dark blue uniforms blended in with the darkness of the alleyway, although the silver badges on their chest gleamed in the meager streetlight. Squinting his eyes, Bosco attempted to get a better look. Both of the men were white, middle aged, and quite large. Their solid bodies towered over the frightened boy as he cowered on the ground. Eagerly they flipped through the wad of bills.

"How much you think is there, Collins?"

"Oh, I'd say about a hundred bucks…but I bet the little bastard has some more one him." Without pausing the cop identified as Collins grabbed the boy by his throat.

For a moment Bosco could do nothing but stare. He couldn't believe that this was going on and no one gave a shit. No one did anything. Inside of him, anger began to bubble. This wasn't right and he wasn't going to stand by and watch it. He had done enough of that for one day.

"Hey! Hey! You leave him alone!" Bosco stepped into view, Atlas remaining at his side as back up.

The cops let go of the boy as he slid down the bricks, falling into a crumpled heap on the pavement. "Oh yeah? Who's going to make us?" One of the cops stepped up so that he was almost nose-to-nose with Bosco. Taking a deep breath Bosco's eyes studied the man's features in the dim light. He was big, much bigger than Bosco, definitely over six feet and quite a bit wider too. Physically, they didn't match up very well as Bosco began to consider what would happen if this confrontation came to blows. He wasn't one to back down, but he needed to be realistic. Anyone would agree that two large men against one weren't very good odds. Taking a step back, he put his hands up.

"Just leave him alone, ok?" Collins studied Bosco as his lips turned up in a menacing sneer. Bosco blinked a few times, the mist collecting on his eyelashes. Overhead, the screeching of the G Train momentarily interrupted his thoughts.

"Or what, tough guy? What are you going to do about it?" The boy scrambled to his feet, eyes darting around the group of men. Surveying the alleyway he contemplated whether he should make a run for it.

Bosco took a deep breath, he didn't want to start something he knew he couldn't finish but he also didn't want to walk away. "Look, guys, I don't want any trouble, I just think that you should leave the kid alone." He was genuinely surprised at how diplomatic he sounded.

Collins didn't see things that way, though, as he inched closer to Bosco. Shoving him hard, Bosco stumbled backward before catching himself. "Or, what? Huh? What are you going to do now, tough guy?" What little restraint Bosco still possessed quickly evaporated. Anger threatened to spill over as Atlas gave a low growl at his side.

"Don't do that." His voice was low and threatening, but Collins paid no mind.

"Or what? Huh?" Shoving Bosco again, he leaned in close, confident in his authority.

A month's worth of anger and self-loathing had been building up inside of Bosco. He hated himself for not protecting Faith. He should be dead right now, not her. He hated himself for even thinking of committing suicide. How selfish could he be? He hated himself for what he did to Faith's family. They were torn apart all because he couldn't keep a simple promise to protect his partner. At all costs, protect your partner. And then there was Liz. She agreed to be his partner when no one else wanted to. She didn't know a damn thing about him but she wanted to be there for him. She actually gave a shit. And what did he do? He stood by while some piece of shit almost beat her to death. He was angry that he just stood there like a coward; unwilling and unable to save her. More than anything else he hated himself for that.

The G Train continued to roar overhead as the rain came down a little harder. Without warning, something inside of Bosco snapped. Before he could even think about it, he charged toward Collins; sending the man stumbling to the ground. The pavement was hard and cold as it took Bosco a moment to regain his bearings. Winding up, he landed a devastating punch into the side of Collin's jaw. The older man's teeth rattled as he shut his eyes in pain. The sight of the other man's agony caused Bosco to feel a sense of satisfaction. All those days and nights he spent hating himself, loathing everything that he stood for, were finally manifesting themselves into a blinding rage. Bosco was, in fact, so intent on the task at hand that the present world began to fade away as he continued pummeling his victim. He didn't hear Collin's partner, take his nightstick out. He also didn't see as the other man wound up, aiming at the back of Bosco's skull. Atlas, however, didn't miss a beat as he lunged for the cop's outstretched arm. Sinking his teeth in, he caused the Collin's partner to drop his nightstick.

"Son of a bitch!" Whirling around the cop tried everything to get the dog to release his grasp. The commotion brought Bosco back to reality as he stopped for a moment. Collins lay bleeding from the nose underneath him, sputtering from the beating that he had just received. The other cop slammed Atlas against the building, the dog finally releasing his grasp. With a slight whimper he immediately went to Bosco's side. The distraction was enough to give Collins a momentary advantage as he wiped his nose with the back of his sleeve. Using all his strength he pushed Bosco off of him and onto the ground. Winding up, he landed a punch square in the middle of the younger man's face. For a moment Bosco saw stars, as the blackness of the alley flashed to bright white. As he fell backward against the wet concrete, he heard the scuffling of paws next to him as Atlas charged toward Collins. Immediately the other cop raised his nightstick causing the dog to stop short. Holding his ground, Atlas bared his teeth as his fur stood on end.

Struggling to his feet, Collins unholstered his weapon. Coming out of his daze, Bosco could recognize that sound anywhere. Blinking, his vision came back into focus as he watched Collins aim his service piece at Atlas. Without even thinking, Bosco charged between Collins and the dog placing himself in the line of fire.

"Go Atlas! RUN!" The sudden scuffle caused Atlas to back up a few steps, clearly confused by the entire situation. "RUN! GO HOME!" Pushing the dog, Bosco opened up some space between himself and the barrel of Collins gun.

The dog hopped back a few steps, unsure of what to do next. He was trained to obey, although he was also trained to back his partner up. So, he was reluctant to leave Bosco. Behind him, Bosco heard the Collins cock the hammer. Charging toward Atlas he waved his arms wildly. "RUN!"

The display was enough to frighten the German Shepard into submission as he turned and bolted toward the street. His legs carrying him as fast as they could, Atlas barely made it around the corner before Bosco heard a loud crack. The bullet skipped into the pavement, a few feet away from the edge of the building as Bosco was relieved to see the dog's fuzzy tail slip around the building just in time. Exhaling deeply he stood silent for a moment. That was close. Before he could think, a sharp pain radiated through the back of his head as the world went black.

* * *

Bosco struggled to focus as his surroundings came into view. He was in jail. A surge of panic ran through his veins as he sat bolt upright. They'd taken him back to Riker's. His breath quickened as his heart beat out of his chest. Blinking a few times, he realized that he was in holding cell. He still had his clothes on; this couldn't be Riker's. Looking around, he saw cops coming and going as he let out a whoosh of air. He must be at the local precinct. Relaxing a little, his relief was short lived when he saw the battered face of the man sitting across the room. Collins sat at the processing desk, feet kicked up as he rocked back in the chair. His lip was swollen as his left eye was turning a shade of purple. Staring at Bosco he didn't say a word.

A sinking feeling began to fester in the pit of Bosco's stomach. He had really screwed up this time. Assault of a police officer. A felony. They were surely going to bounce his ass this time. Undercover or not, he was sure that Liz and Sergeant Callahan weren't going to be able to help him this time. Shaking his head, he was already on his second chance with Liz; he was pretty sure that there wouldn't be a third.

"Whoah, Collins, what the hell happened to you?" Bosco's head snapped up. It was Liz. She was there. Jumping to his feet, he immediately felt a sudden surge of relief at the sight of his partner.

"What do you want?" Collins didn't sit up as he eyed Liz menacingly. It was clear that they were acquainted.

Rolling her eyes, Liz returned the disdain as she gestured toward Bosco. "I want Boscorelli released." Instantly, Bosco felt a weight lift off his shoulders. She wasn't going to leave him here.

Pursing his lips, Collins narrowed his eyes at her. "Well you can't have him."

"What?" Liz shook her head in disbelief. Shifting her gaze between Bosco and Collins she began to put the pieces together. "Oh wait…" Gesturing toward Bosco she questioned, "Did you kick his ass?" Laughing a little, Liz was clearly pleased that she had figured it out. Both hands on the desk, she leaned toward Collins, "He kicked your ass, didn't he?" The public disrespect was almost enough to send Collins over the edge as he dropped his feet to the ground, chair rocking back to the floor. Staring her down, he thought of how good it would feel to slap that smart mouth shut. This wasn't the street, though; he had to be careful about what he did. Gritting his teeth he sat back in the chair.

"Fuck you." Liz pushed back from the desk, not surprised.

"No Collins, Fuck you. Now cut Boscorelli loose." She stood there her arms crossed over her chest.

"Oh yeah, says who?" He was determined not to let the man who just demoralized him walk free.

"Says your CO." At first, Collins balked at her although he couldn't help but to cast a glance across the hallway toward the Lieutenant's office. The older man met his eyes with a nod. Shit. For a moment he wondered if he could persuade the boss the see things his way. Shooting a glance in Boscorelli's direction, he thought that he could get away with it. Of course the whole situation would bring unwanted attention toward his activities on the street. That, he could definitely do without. Gritting his teeth, he begrudgingly acknowledged that he should probably suck this one up. Better to take a beating than have IAB sniffing up his ass for the next week. Reluctantly, he walked over to the cell. Unlatching the door, he eye fucked the shit out of Bosco. Next time you won't be so lucky. The message was loud and clear although not a single word had been spoken. Bosco, never one to back down, returned his stare with a message of his own. I'll be watching you, asshole.

"Let's go." Liz's voice broke the tension as Bosco saw her move toward the door. Giving Collins one last look, he followed her. As they passed the front desk, Bosco's eye fell on Sergeant Callahan. He was discussing something with one of the uniforms as he barely acknowledged Liz and Bosco as they walked by. Much to his credit, Bosco kept his mouth shut until they were outside. The black Honda was parked at the edge of the parking lot as Bosco could discern movement inside the vehicle as they approached. As he got closer his anxiety was replaced with relief. In the backseat Atlas was wrapped up in a blanket like the Virgin Mary. Bosco was genuinely happy to see that he dog was ok.

"Where was he?" They both got into the car, slamming the door shut.

"On the front stoop, soaking wet." Liz paused for a moment, staring at Bosco. He suddenly felt nervous. She was hard to read. "What the hell happened out there?"

"You don't know?" Bosco was having trouble figuring out how she knew where he was if she had no idea what happened.

"No."

"How did you know where I was?"

"Callahan called me, said he saw Collins and that mutt partner of his drag you into the precinct. Up until then I thought you were in the bed across from me."

Bosco was confused. "But you backed me up in there like you knew what happened."

Liz smiled slightly at him. "Of course I backed you up. It's just you and me here, Bosco. We're all the back up we got." Her last statement made him feel guilty as he remembered the evening's events. Seeing the sudden sadness come over him, Liz was quick to lighten the mood. "And I can't stand that prick, Collins."

Reluctantly, Bosco cracked a slight smile. "He's a jag off, alright."

Liz backed the car out into traffic as she cast an expectant glance at him. "So, tell me what happened."

Taking a deep breath Bosco told her everything starting with Collins and his partner robbing that kid and ending with Atlas escaping the line of fire just in time. By the time he was finished the trio was parked outside of their building. Bosco paused for a moment, studying her expression. He saw it there, plain as day. 'How could you protect a kid you don't even know, and when I needed you, you were nowhere to be found. I'm you're partner'. He was so sure of it that it made him sick.

Hanging his head Bosco replied glumly, "I know what you're thinking."

Liz tore her eyes away from the dash as she regarded Bosco thoughtfully. "Oh yeah what am I thinking?"

"How could I protect that kid and not you? You're my partner." If it was what she was thinking, she betrayed not a single hint of truth.

Shaking her head she replied slowly, "Bosco, we've settled that, ok? I don't want to talk about it anymore because it's done. You apologized and you promised that it wouldn't happen again. That's enough for me. You don't need to explain yourself. It happened and we dealt with it."

Bosco visibly relaxed. Acceptance. It was something that he had been searching for most of his life. Opening his mouth he was about to say something when she interrupted him. "Actually, I was thinking of how proud you made me tonight. You stood up for right in a world of wrong and you protected that little boy. I'm proud of you. It was the right thing to do."

Bosco didn't think that he had ever met someone so genuine and so honest. Good or bad, she had no trouble telling you exactly what she thought. It was refreshing. Smiling, Bosco's tormented psyche relaxed for a moment. She was proud of him. He didn't know when the last time was that he felt this good.

* * *

Scott Geidel slowed his car to halt along Hunt's Point Avenue. The steady rain of early had let up as the girls; some of them only twelve years old, came out to walk the track. He was lonely as the weight of his decisions was beginning to eat him alive. He and his partner had killed an innocent person for what? Money, greed, and a life of absolute control. There were other ways to go about doing things; he tried to tell Brian. As usual, though, Jackson did whatever he wanted to do. Running a hand through his hair Geidel was almost smothered by guilt. How did this happen? He was a good man once.

"Hey baby, you lookin' for a good time or what?" A girl, who looked to be in her late teens, leaned in his passenger window. Geidel was torn from his thoughts as he took a moment to peruse the woman's body. She was African American, light skinned with big brown eyes and a pretty face. She smiled widely at him as he noticed that she still had most of her teeth. Obviously she hadn't been on the track for long.

"How old are you?" He had to ask, even though he knew that she would probably lie to him.

Rolling her eyes she shook her head, "Nineteen." Geidel chewed his lower lip. It could be true. Either way, he wasn't going to turn around and go home.

"Twenty for the blow job, fifty to go all the way." He assumed it to be a fair price.

Pausing for a moment, the girl nodded at someone standing against the building before getting into the car.

Geidel pulled off the main drag and into one of the abandoned lots just behind the track. Cutting the engine, she didn't waste anytime getting to work; after all in her world time was money. Unzipping his pants, she found him to be more than ready for her. Relaxing his head back against the seat he allowed the temporary feeling of contentment to wash over him. Closing his eyes, he saw Yokas and Boscorelli laying in the wrecked squad car, blood splattered all over the windows. Gasping he snapped his eyes open.

"What's wrong?" The hooker stopped what she was doing for a moment.

Taking a few deep breaths, Geidel fought to keep himself together. "It's…It's nothing. I've just had a rough few weeks."

Pouting exaggeratedly, the hooker stared at him. "Tell me about it. I'm a great listener." She had been down this road before, men love to tell her their problems. Something about sex and anonymous confession was apparently very alluring. She wasn't complaining, it worked out well for her too. The longer they stayed there the more things they would do and the more money she could get.

Geidel sighed, maybe he would feel better if he talked to someone and who better than a hooker? She didn't know his name and it was dark, she wouldn't remember what he looked like. What could be the harm in it?

Running his hand through her hair as she continued to pleasure him, Geidel opened his mouth. "My partner and I…we're in the business of ripping people off. Money, drugs, you name it. One night someone lied to my partner and he got mad. So he killed the guy. I mean, the dude was a piece of garbage, he was nothing. Except someone else saw what we did. She was just in the wrong place at the wrong time that's all. We killed her though. Because she knew; she knew too much. My partner made it look like an accident but we killed her, that's for sure." Geidel paused as she finished him off. Sighing he leaned back into the seat as he mumbled, "You didn't deserve it Yokas, you didn't deserve it."

The hooker sat back as she buttoned her coat. She wasn't expecting him to confess to murder as surprise was written all over her face. Forget the extra money, she was beyond freaked out. "I want my twenty dollars."

Reaching into the console, Geidel threw a bill in her direction, "Here you go, sweetie." Smiling at her, he rubbed her thigh affectionately.

"I gotta go." Throwing open the door, she didn't wait for a reply. Geidel was surprised as he sat up. Zipping his pants back up, he watched as she ran back toward the track in the rear view mirror. Swallowing hard, he wondered if he should have just kept his mouth shut.

**I Love Reviews!**

**Above lyrics are from Chevelle's "Send the Pain Below"**


	13. Superman Tonight

" **Last Exit to Brooklyn"**

**Author:** carmen_085

**Disclaimer:** All Third Watch characters are property of NBC. All original characters belong to me

**Summary:** After a terrible tragedy changes his life, Bosco goes undercover to find redemption and justice in the most unlikely of places

**Chapter Thirteen**

" _Who's gonna hold you_

_When you turn out the lights_

_I won't lie_

_I wish that I could be your superman tonight"_

The rhythmic pounding of her shoes on the concrete lulled her into a state of temporary peace. She liked running; it cleared her mind and calmed her down. Liz didn't really give much thought to running before she joined the force. At the academy it was practically forced upon them day after day. For the cadets running was everything, a measure of physical endurance, a means to escape danger, and most frequently; a punishment She was never really great at it although she was good enough to get by largely unnoticed. When she graduated she had no desire to run unless it was necessary for the job. Then slowly, as the stress of the job began to build, she found herself in a perpetual state of anxiety. Always on guard, always nervous for what was going to happen next. At night she lay in bed feeling her heart pounding in her chest; her mind racing through a million different thoughts. Liz felt like she was trapped in a cage, she couldn't tell anyone what was happening. They would think she was crazy. She also couldn't ignore it. The tense feeling she experienced was bubbling forth from a place that she couldn't even identify. If someone asked her what was making her so anxious, she wouldn't even be able to tell them. It was everything and nothing in an extremely unpredictable world that she was sworn to protect.

So she started running. The change wasn't immediate. In the beginning she felt like she was dragging herself. But then the more she ran the better she felt. The old connection that linked running with punishment washed away as a sense of freedom took its place. It didn't matter how far she ran, the time that she was in motion Liz felt good. Her mind was soothed by the rhythmic activity while the strain of the exercise was enough to push the nervous energy out of her body. When she ran she felt calm and strong and free. So she never stopped. No matter what kind of assignment she was on, she always made time to run.

That's not to say that it was always easy. Sometimes she just didn't have any time or energy to run. Staying up all night and sleeping all day eventually takes its toll and no matter how much she wanted to run she often felt too tired. Also, she had to be careful of who saw her running. Undercover is all about perception. You need to be who you're going to be. Holding onto any piece of your real life could be disastrous if observed by the wrong person. Still, she under more stress than ever and needed some kind of release. Bed-Sty was not a very big neighborhood, and she quickly found that if she walked five blocks north she would be in a completely different world. Once safely outside of the neighborhood, she could run without fear of being seen. Still, she always made sure to run at night or with a hat and dark glasses during the day. The last thing she needed was Barksdale seeing his drug addicted party girl out for a morning jog.

Liz slowed her jog as she approached the outer fringes of Bed-Sty. New York City was a big place but the Barksdale crew rarely ventured out of the neighborhood. They knew where their bread was buttered. Silently, she had been wondering if they would actually go for the whole scheme her and Bosco were trying to pitch. Sighing, she knew that were going to need to be very, very convincing.

Sliding the key into her apartment door, she wasn't surprised to see an empty living room. It was nearly four in the morning when they finally got home last night. Throwing her hat and sunglasses on the table, she scowled. As if getting beat up wasn't bad enough, she also lost sleep thanks to that bastard Collins. Walking over to the window, Liz opened it as the cool spring breeze caused the curtain to billow. Stepping into the bathroom she leaned into the mirror. Her upper lip was slightly swollen as a slight purple discoloration framed her left eye. A little bit of make up and she was look good as new. Honestly, things could have been a lot worse.

Pulling up a chair, she sat at the counter. A cold glass of water in front of her she allowed herself a moment of peace. Her tranquility was short lived however, as she heard the bedroom door open behind her. Hearing Bosco pad across the hallway to the bathroom she didn't make any effort to turn. Within seconds, however, she was nose to nose with a rather happy looking German Shepard. Standing on his hind legs, Atlas offered her a sloppy morning kiss.

"Well, hello baby! Were you sleeping" The dog wagged his tail enthusiastically as he offered a low bark in return. "You were sleeping!" Pushing him down, she laid on the floor. Atlas needed no invitation as he ran to the corner and retrieved his favorite toy. Dragging the tattered old glove over, she wrestled with him as they rolled around on the floor.

"I see you're full of energy this morning." Bosco lumbered out of the bathroom looking quite sore. His eyes inadvertently took a double take upon seeing the damage to her face. He felt guilty and responsible. She knew it without even looking at him. She could feel it when he looked at her. She didn't want to go back to last night, though, it was dead and over.

"I don't know. I woke up and the weather was beautiful so I went running." Bosco rolled his eyes, he barely had enough energy to get out of bed.

"Running?"

Smiling a little she shrugged her shoulders, "Yeah I love to run. It makes me feel better. Helps me calm down when I'm stressed." She wanted to be a little more elaborate and the sing the praises of her favorite past time but one glance at her partner told her that he was in no mood for it. Still she couldn't resist giving a little advice, "You should try it sometime."

Bosco snorted he needed a hell of a lot more than a good run to fix his problems. "Thanks for the advice, Jensen, but I don't think it'll help much."

Shrugging her shoulders she didn't respond as she traced her finger over the soft fur of Atlas's head. Bosco sighed as he watched her. She looked so content and peaceful that he was little jealous. Only last night she had nearly been killed and today she looked like she didn't have a care in the world. "Are you hungry?"

Her abrupt question broke him from his thoughts as he automatically nodded his head yes. "Yeah I guess."

"Ok, well get dressed, we're going to breakfast." Bosco laughed a little. It was kind of late for breakfast.

"Don't you mean, lunch?" Liz shook her head.

"No I mean, breakfast. We've got things to talk about and there's nothing I love more than a big stack of pancakes when I'm talking business." Initially, Bosco was alarmed when she mentioned that they had "things" to talk about. His anxiety was immediately dispelled at the mention of pancakes. Liz had a very natural ability to make you feel at ease. Sighing he recognized that quality was probably what made her such a good undercover.

An hour later Bosco sat across from his partner at the local diner watching her manhandle a stack of pancakes. Topped with whip cream and strawberries, he had to admit that they looked pretty good. Hesitantly picked up his fork, he stole a bite.

"Good, right?" Liz gestured toward the heaping stack of calories with a look of satisfaction on her face.

Bosco shrugged as he offered her a small smile. "They're not bad." Taking a deep breath he was a little nervous for the things that they were about to discuss. "So…what's going on?"

Liz shoved another forkful of pancake into her mouth before beginning. "Well last night you got your first taste of undercover, and I just want to make sure we're clear on a few things."

Bosco felt his heart rate pick up. He knew that they had settled things, but he just couldn't help himself from feeling like the other shoe was about to drop. Liz could have died last night, and he was having a hard time believing that she would just let that go. He was having hard time believing that he could screw up so badly and still be wanted or more than that, trusted. So he watched her intently, waiting nervously for the worst.

"So first I think I should clear up what we're doing here." Bosco relaxed a little, maybe things really were ok. Looking around the diner, he suddenly became very paranoid.

"Do you think we should be talking about this, here? I mean what if someone…" Before he could finish she cut him off.

"I already checked the place. There's no one here." Sitting back, he had to admit that he was slightly impressed. The thought that someone could overhear them didn't even occur to him until just now, while his partner had not already entertained the notion but also done a visual sweep of the entire restaurant. "Like I told you before, our main objective is to get Barksdale in the same room with the dope. Catch the bastard red handed. Sounds easy enough, right?"

Bosco nodded, he knew that there must be a catch. "Wrong. Barksdale's very paranoid. He never handles the dope. To make matters worse they also don't like dealing with anybody who's not from the neighborhood. So what to do? What to do?" Bosco had to admit that he was slightly intrigued by the way she presented things; it was like reading a gangster novel. "Oh I know. Bring in an ex-police officer who not only has access to all the best dope connections but can also bribe his former buddies to keep their mouths shut."

"I was wondering why I'm still using my real name." Liz flashed him a knowing glance.

"Because for all intents and purposes you are still you. Your true identity as an undercover has been sealed; only me, Callahan, and Lieutenant Swersky even know that you're still a cop. As far as everyone else is concerned you're a disgraced ex-cop with a criminal record and a druggie girlfriend living out your days in a lovely Bed-Sty walk up."

Bosco didn't realize that the hell he had endured would earn him such a perfectly crafted alter ego. He was the perfect choice for this undercover op because there were no holes in his story. He had really been a cop, he had really had assault charges against him, and he had really been to Riker's. It was believable because it was entirely true. Still, even with his enhanced credibility he wondered if Barksdale would follow him all the way to the river. "What makes you think that he's going to bite on this?"

Liz pushed the last bit of fluffy pancake around in the whip cream. Winking at her partner she gestured between them, "Because we…we are going to make him an offer that he can't refuse." A small smile spread across Bosco's face. He had to admit, this was a little exciting. "You remember Mickey, right? Well Mickey is pretty high up in Barksdale's organization and he is just dying for his big break. You're going to let Mickey know that you're an ex-cop, you know all the best dope connections in the North Bronx and if he gives you a cut you'll help him and Barksdale set up shop. Maybe take over another neighborhood, more drugs, more profit… you get the picture. Mickey's no joke though; he's not stupid. We are going to need to be very convincing and we're going to need to sell this hard."

Bosco was little doubtful that this would work. "But I don't know anyone in the North Bronx."

Liz brushed him off, she had obviously already worked this out. "You don't need to know anyone. I know someone, an undercover, obviously, and a few snitches. Even better one of the snitches, I just found out, has known Mickey since they were kids; a real stroke of luck on our part. So anyway, we take Mickey there, we dangle a lot of dope and I mean a lot of dope in front of him and hopefully he'll do the rest of the work for us."

"But you said that Barksdale is never in the same room as the dope. What makes you think he'll do it?"

Liz had a satisfied smile on her face. "Because he likes Mickey and he likes me. Better yet he trusts me. Not to mention that I think he'll at least want to survey the product before he invests himself and his resources in a whole new location." It made sense, although Bosco found himself wondering one thing. How had she gotten Barksdale to trust her?

"He trusts you that much?"

"Well that's another thing I was meaning to tell you. About four months ago, I was walking home from the club and I see that prick Collins beating the living hell out of some black kid. I really didn't even think about, I saw what was happening and I just charged at him. Even though he's a goddamned brick shithouse compared to me I somehow managed to throw him off balance and he fell over. It was enough to let the kid get away. Of course I took a few lumps and was hauled into the old Bed-Sty lockdown but it was so worth it. The next day I found out that kid was Barksdale's son, Jerome. In one day I went from bar bitch to party girl/trusted associate. Instead of schlepping booze up and down the stairs, I was invited to the "business meetings". Before long I knew everything that was going on. It was amazing."

"So that's how you know Collins. He was pissed when you showed up last night." Liz nodded a smirk playing across her lips. "But does Collins know you're a cop?"

"No, God no! He thinks I'm just another one of Barksdale's bitches."

"Then why did he let you take me last night?"

"Callahan told the Watch Commander he wanted you kicked loose. They don't question him down there, he pretty much gets what he wants. Which means we get what we want. The local humps are more of a bother to us than anything else."

"Except Collins, that guy is crazy." Bosco couldn't deny that he was a little surprised by how out of control the man was.

"Yeah, Collins…I have a special project in mind for him once we get done with all this."

Bosco smirked, a little intrigued, "Oh yeah, what's that?"

"Stamping license plates." They both broke out in an honest fit of laughter. Bosco smiled at her. He felt good with her. He felt like he belonged somewhere again.

* * *

The metal door closed quietly behind him. He didn't have much time to get this done before the shift started. Clicking on the overheard light, the small file room was illuminated with a musty glow. Sully had been over the details of the accident several times and things just didn't add up. Something was going on. He and Davis had also become more than a little suspicious of Jackson and Geidel over the past month. Those two were definitely up to no good, although he had no proof of anything. The fact that they were there, involved in the same accident as Bosco and Faith, made his stomach turn. Running his finger over the files, he stopped on February 2001. Sully's mind involuntarily flashed back to more than a month.

_"Sully, can I ask you a question?" Putting his fork down, Sully wiped his mouth before regarding Faith with a sense of curiosity. He thought that something might be going on with her. Last night after the shift when he and Davis passed her sitting in the RMP she definitely looked rattled._

_"Sure, Faith." Pushing his own plate away, Sully leaned back as he waited for her to continue._

_Faith appeared to be choosing her words carefully until she shook her head and just blurted it out, "What would you do if you thought someone was dirty?"_

What would he do if he thought someone was dirty? Thumbing through the reports, Sully's fingers came to rest on one. The folder was a little thicker than the others as he opened the cover. The front page was non-descript. In plain font it read, 'February 23, 2001, MVA, One fatality, Investigation Closed.' Sully had written thousands of reports just like it, usually with the same plain verbiage. This time, however, looking at those plain words made him angry. Faith was a cop, and a good one. She gave the city six loyal years and all they had to say about her was – one fatality. Shaking his head, Sully refocused himself on the task at hand.

The file room was typically off limits to everyone but supervisors. You needed special permission to access the confidential reports in there and he had no valid reason to be there other than he just felt likes something wasn't right. That wouldn't be good enough. In this job feelings meant nothing; you needed proof. Flipping through the papers, his eyes immediately focused on the accident reconstruction report. The NYPD, like most large departments, had an accident reconstruction team that using sophisticated measurements and the laws of physics to determine what really happened at the scene of an accident. The fact that an officer lost their life in this particular accident made Sully think that there would be an extensive reconstruction report. Fortunately he wasn't disappointed.

Scanning all the technical jargon, he tried to get to the point as fast as possible. Leaning into the light, his eyes were drawn to two sentences.

' _Damage to rear of vehicle consistent with high- speed impact… Skid marks inconsistent with Officer M. Boscorelli's report of failing to brake at the intersection.'_

Sully felt his heart stop for a minute. Why the hell did they ignore this? It was there, plain as day. Bosco stopped at the intersection; he did everything right. Leaning back against the self, Sully couldn't believe what he was reading. Continuing to flip through the report, he stopped on the last page. The entry read:

' _February 26, 2001. Officer M. Boscorelli contacted regarding findings of accident reconstruction. States that he has no interest in discussing this matter any further and has nothing to add regarding the original accident report. Investigation closed.'_

Sully had to bite back a curse. Bosco! That stubborn bastard. If he had only listened to them. The proof was right there. It wasn't his fault. Shaking his head, Sully pulled a couple of pages from the file. He would make copies of what interested him and then hopefully find a way to slip the originals back into the file room. Turning he switched the light off before carefully closing the door.

"Doing a little research, Sullivan?" The older officer jumped noticeably as a familiar voice came from behind.

Brian Jackson stood there looking more than a little suspicious. Sully was quick to appear as nonchalant as possible. Shrugging his shoulders, he offered the younger office a smile. "Oh yeah, I just have to go to court this week." It was very plausible. Jackson relaxed slightly. Maybe he was being paranoid. Scowling at the older officer he moved down the hallway without another word. Sully watched as he rounded the corner before letting out a whoosh of air. Stuffing the papers into his jacket he proceeded to roll call more suspicious of his coworker than ever.

* * *

Bosco watched Liz across the crowded club. She was wearing a short black dress and heels. She looked good. Catching his eye, she smiled at him reassuringly. Returning the expression, he took a long sip of his drink. It was show time.

"So, Bosco, tell me something about yourself." Mickey eyed him up from across the table.

"Liz didn't tell you anything about me?" Bosco wanted to gauge what the other man already knew.

"Yeah she told me a couple things. Told me that you used to be a cop."

Bosco took a deep breath; this was it. "I used to be. I got into some trouble, though, you know mixed it up with the wrong people." He shrugged trying to appear as casual as possible. "I don't think I was ever really cut out for it." He took a sip of his drink letting his last few words sink in.

"Yeah, yeah. I hear that," Mickey paused deciding how much he should let out, "I also heard you did some time."

"Yeah, Rikers…that place really wasn't for me. I was messing with some people who didn't know what they were doing. I ain't doing that no more. I got a lot of connections man, but I'm not about to waste them on some fools who are going to get me sent back to Rikers. No way. I want someone who's serious about things. Real serious."

He was laying a trap for Mickey. The conversation had gone from can I trust you to what can I do to make you trust me. It was a skillful exploitation of Mickey's desperation, and he was proud of himself for spinning the web so effortlessly.

"Oh man, I know what you mean, man. I don't want to piss around either. This is serious shit. Yeah, ok. Let me check a few things out and then I'll get back to you."

Mickey took a drag on his cigarette as he tried to contain his enthusiasm. Bosco immediately translated the meaning behind his words. What he was actually saying was I'll check you out and see if you're screwing me. Let him check. It was all true.

"Ok, man, don't waste too much time though. I got a guy on Intervale Avenue that can get his hands on 10 kilos a week. That's big money, man. Big money."

Mickey's eyes lit up with the prospect of more wealth than he had imagined. Bosco took a long sip of his beer. Looking over Mickey's shoulder his eyes caught something across the room. A tuft of strawberry blonde hair, and a woman who's face he couldn't see. Craning his neck for a better view, the woman abruptly turned around. It was Faith. She was there, in the club. Blinking his eyes, he wanted so badly to believe that it was true. They locked eyes for a moment or two, as Bosco was lost in a dream like state. Then slowly, reality began to creep back. Faith was dead. That couldn't be her. Shaking his head he took a deep breath. His heart was pounding as his hands began to tremble. This wasn't happening. Looking back up she was gone. Searching the dimly lit room he found no sight of her. Mickey was talking, seemingly unaware of Bosco's impending meltdown. Bosco felt his chest tighten as he struggled to get any air in. The walls felt like they were closing in, as he was flooded with a sense of impending doom. Oh Jesus, he was going to lose it right then and there.

"Hey man, did you hear me?" His eyes drifted across the table. Mickey looked annoyed that he wasn't paying attention. He had to get out of there.

"I'll be back." Without waiting for a reply Bosco made a beeline for the bathroom. Across the room, Liz saw him bolt toward the back of the club. A sick sensation began to well up in her throat as she coyly sidled up next to Mickey.

"Scare him off, already?" Mickey shook his head, apparently just as confused.

"I don't know, Liz, he looked pretty sick." Liz relaxed a little; maybe there was a reasonable explanation for all this.

"I better go check on him." Sitting the tray she was carrying on the table, Liz turned and walked straight toward the bathroom. The club didn't have a door on the men's room as she stopped abruptly when she heard water running. Leaning against the wall so that she was out of sight, Liz was able to see Bosco's reflection in the opposite mirror. Steadying himself against the counter, she could see his frame shaking slightly. The music of the club abruptly cut out as she heard him breathing heavily.

"Come on, you need to get it together." His voice was soft as she inched closer to the doorway. "You didn't see her. She's dead. Get it together." Resting his forehead against the mirror, Liz watched as her partner struggled to gain control of himself. She heard what he was saying but didn't really understand it. "You can't let her down again. Come on, get it together." This time she knew that he was talking about her. Resting her head against the wall, she stared at him in the mirror. He looked so sad and so broken that she just wanted to go in there and tell him that everything was going to be ok. It didn't work that way, though. He needed to figure this out on his own. Sighing, she watched his shoulders shaking as he tried to contain his grief. An involuntary sob escaped his lips as he slumped against the counter. "I miss you. God, I miss you so much." Liz stiffened against the wall. Suddenly she felt like an intruder. She shouldn't be here. This wasn't for her to see. This was private. Turning abruptly, she walked away as she fought the tears that threatened to spring up in her own eyes.

"Everything ok?" Mickey looked at her expectantly. Offering him a wide smile, she slid into the booth next to him.

"Oh yeah, he's fine. Said he just got a little hot. This place is packed tonight!" Undercover- pretending to be someone you aren't and feel things you don't. She needed to cover for him. It was the job. They backed each other up. So she entertained Mickey as if nothing was wrong. She laughed with him and made him forget about Bosco's mysterious disappearance. They talked a little business as she reinforced the groundwork Bosco had already laid.

"Hey, what's going on?" Bosco stood in front of them. He showed no hint of the emotional turmoil he slid into the booth next to Liz. For a moment, they locked eyes. Her gaze saying, _'I didn't know you were so broken. I promise I'll be there for you'._ His saying, _'Please don't walk away. I can't do this without you.'_ Whether those thoughts were adequately sent or lost in translation would never be known.

Liz put on a happy face. "Oh, Mickey and I were just having some laughs." Bosco visibly relaxed when he realized that she had covered for him with Mickey. Grabbing his hand, she gave him a reassuring squeeze. "Ready to get going?"

Glancing at the clock, Bosco realized it was nearly three in the morning. "Yeah." Liz excused herself to get her coat from behind the bar. Bosco extended his hand for Mickey to shake. "Should I let my contact know you're interested, Mickey?"

Mickey stamped his cigarette out in the ashtray as he rose to his feet. "Do that, Bosco. And hey, don't shop this idea around to anyone else until I get back to you." Bosco could tell that he wanted to commit but was too paranoid to do so without a little investigating. Either way he was relieved to see Liz coming towards him. After his near emotional collapse, he just wanted to get out of there. Shaking hands with Mickey, he hoped that the other man didn't notice how sweaty his palms were. Thankfully Liz pulled him out the door before he could overanalyze anything else.

Once outside the club she took his hand into her own. They usually did this until they were around the corner. Anything to enhance the right perception was crucial. As they rounded the corner, Bosco dropped her hand. Liz looked at him in the dim streetlight. His shoulders were hunched as he stared at the ground. He was carrying a much larger burden than she had ever imagined, and, worse than that, he was doing it alone. Looking over her shoulder, she quickly grabbed his hand. "I think I just saw one of Barksdale's people behind us." Instead of the awkward grasp that they usually shared, this time she interlaced her fingers with his. At first Bosco took her word at face value and assumed that they needed to keep up appearances. A quick glance over his shoulder, however, revealed no one on the sidewalk. He was about to pull away when he noticed how nice it felt to have someone hold his hand. Unsure of the meaning behind her gesture he just decided to give in and enjoy the calm feeling that filled his body. Whether it was intended or not, he was somewhat comforted by the physical closeness he shared with her in that moment.

As they came up the street next to their building, Liz realized that the street was deserted. Still she didn't let go. She felt some sense of satisfaction as Bosco tightened his grip slightly. They walked up the stairs to their apartment. At the door Bosco let go of her hand as he abruptly turned. He wasn't really good at telling another person how he felt. Sighing Bosco looked away. There were so many things that he wanted to tell her, but he just didn't know how to start. So he didn't. Shoving his hands in his pockets, Bosco kept his eyes trained on the floor as an awkward silence filled the air between them.

* * *

Liz perched herself at the kitchen counter watching as the sun began to come up over the buildings. She didn't sleep much last night. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't shake the image of her partner bent over the bathroom sink from her mind. When Callahan told her about the circumstances surrounding the accident, she knew that it was going to be hard but this was a little more than she expected. Sighing she took a sip of her orange juice. She wanted to understand what he was going though but didn't feel like it was her place to bring it up. Liz could go to Callahan, but she didn't want to tip her CO off to any possible issues with Bosco. It wasn't his business, this was her partner and she needed to deal with it.

From what Callahan told her, Bosco had been working in the 55th precinct when he and his partner were in a fatal car accident while one their way to a call. She didn't really know much more than that. Scanning the reaches of her memory she was able to conjure up a vague recollection of seeing something about it in the Post. Drinking the rest of the orange juice, Liz stared straight ahead contemplating her options. Of course the best scenario would be to take a trip to the 55 and see if she can find someone who was willing to talk about her new partner. While it seemed simple enough, that solution was wracked with issues. First, you would need to find someone who was willing to talk about something very delicate and emotional with a total stranger. The likelihood of that happening in a building full of cops was pretty much non -existent. Second, it probably wasn't the best idea for her to go prancing around a police station while undercover even if it was on the other side of the city. Not to mention that Callahan would probably go nuts. So she needed to be a little more creative.

It was early and Bosco was still asleep as she dressed quietly. Thankfully she didn't have to work tonight at the club. They also didn't have any other work planned with Barksdale as she suspected that it would take Mickey a few days to get to them. Writing a haphazard note to her partner she taped it to the bathroom mirror.

' _Bosco:_

_I went to an appointment in Manhattan. I'll be back in a few hours. We're off tonight, so just relax and enjoy the day!_

_Liz'_

Ok, so it was lie. She obviously did not have an appointment in Manhattan, but what could she say? 'I'm going to Manhattan to figure out what the hell happened to you' Not really. Closing the apartment door quietly, Liz walked out into the warm spring air. The sun shone brightly as she climbed into the old, black Honda. She was invigorated by the beautiful day, although she couldn't help but to feel a sense of apprehension. What was she going to find? As a uniform in Brooklyn she had handled her fair share of 'Unknown Trouble' calls. They always made her feel apprehensive. As Liz merged onto the Triboro Bridge she couldn't help but to feel that there was some unknown trouble awaiting her in Manhattan.

The NYPD auto impound lot was in the South Bronx in an area known as Longwood. The area was filled with two things, warehouses and whores. Hunts Point Avenue, on of the most notorious tracks in the city, was only a few blocks to the west. Turning off the street Liz pulled into a small lot that was in front of a large gray warehouse. The only distinguishing characteristic that set this building apart from the others was a small NYPD plaque that hung over the door. Liz shut the car off as she stared in the rear view mirror. She had been scanning the mirrors since she left Brooklyn. At one point she thought that she might have been followed although after taking an unnecessary exit and driving around Chinatown for ten minutes she determined that she had only been paranoid. Pulling on a hat and dark glasses she reached into the glove compartment. On the way over here she stopped and picked up her NYPD identification. When she first went under, someone had suggested getting a safety deposit box to keep anything related to her true identity locked up in. It was a good idea. You never know when the shit is going to hit the fan.

Slipping her ID into her pocket, she walked in the front door of the building. In the front was desk where an officer sat while behind him was a gigantic shop floor where mechanics serviced the NYPD vehicle fleet. In the parking lot behind the building were wrecked cars that could not be repaired.

"Can I help you?" The man behind the desk looked like he would rather be dead than working here. Nonetheless Liz offered him a smile.

"Officer Elizabeth Jensen, Badge number 6140, Brooklyn Narcotics and Vice. I want to see the RMP that was involved in the fatal accident in the 55 about one month ago."

The man chewed his gum as he stared at her. "What does Brooklyn Narcotics and Vice care about some wrecked RMP." Liz smirked; everyone in the department was so territorial. No one liked a newbie coming into their jurisdiction and taking over.

"What does it matter?" Her time undercover had given her a sense of feeling limitless. There were no boundaries when no one knew who you were.

Throwing her a sneer, he grabbed the logbook. "It doesn't. Just thought that maybe cops from Brooklyn should be worried about what's going on in Brooklyn." Swiping her ID off the counter, he signed her in as she stared at him with disdain.

Liz thought about launching a snide remark in his direction although she reasoned that it would probably get her nowhere. So she waited in silence until he finally slid her ID back across the counter and pointed toward a side door. "Car's out back. Number on it's 5649. You'll know which one it is." Walking towards the door, she couldn't help but to wonder what he meant by 'You'll know which one it is'.

The lot was full of RMPs, some were wrecked and others looked just fine. Weaving her way through the maze of vehicles, she stopped when she came upon a car that looked like someone had bent it in half. Sitting crookedly, they had managed to balance it so that it stayed upright although there was a perimeter of orange cones set up around it. The white twisted metal was so grotesque and so horrible that she couldn't stop looking at it. As she got closer, her eye caught sight of something. 5649. The number was barely visible on the twisted roof, although she was sure that was what it said. This was it.

"Hard to believe someone could survive that, right?" A sudden voice behind her caused her to jump. Jesus Christ! Turning slowly, Liz came face to face with a middle aged dark haired man that she had never seen before. Grabbing her chest she let out a breath that she didn't even know had been holding.

"Jesus, you almost gave me a heart attack." She relaxed a little as he offered her an apologetic smile. Obviously he must be a cop.

"Sorry." Shoving his hands in his pockets he came up beside her. "It's something, isn't it?" Gesturing toward the car he shook his head.

"Yeah, it's pretty horrible." They both stood there in silence.

"John Sullivan." Sully turned to shake her hand.

"Liz Jensen." Again they fell into an awkward silence both trying to remember if they had ever previously met. Finally Sully was first to speak.

"So, Liz, what are you doing here?" Oh he didn't waste anytime. Liz rocked back on her heels. She didn't think that this was going to happen. Quickly her mind began to weave a story that was a close to the truth as she could get without actually being the truth.

"I'm a friend of Bosco's." It was true, although there was much more. Not allowing him much time to chew it over, Liz quickly returned the question.

"What are you doing here?" Sully looked at her suspicious before responding.

"Oh just following up on a hunch." Liz gave him a quizzical look. "I worked with Bosco and Faith at the 55. I've known them since they graduated from the academy."

Faith. That was her name. Liz was lost in thought as Sully looked her over. "You know I never heard Bosco mention you."

"Oh well we just met." Nodding his head, it was clear that Sully didn't believe a word she was saying.

"Oh, yeah." Turning, he started walking away. He would need to come back if he wanted to a take a good look at 55-David. Liz bit her lip as she heard him shuffle toward the building. When she left Brooklyn this morning, her objective was to find out what happened to her partner. Even more than that she wanted to find someone who knew him before; someone who could tell her why he was so damaged. Now she had found someone and she didn't even need to go looking. But for Sully to talk to her, she would need to be honest and tell him who she really was. It wasn't a good idea but she needed to figure out a way to help her partner before his demons put both their lives in danger. It would be a leap of faith either way.

Over her shoulder she saw Sully disappear behind a truck, "Sullivan!" Sometimes you just had to jump. "Sullivan!" Stalking after him, she caught him by surprise.

"Yeah?" It was clear that she had something to say although she struggled with finding the right way to say it.

"Ok, I wasn't completely honest with you." Sully gave her a knowing look. "I am Bosco's friend. That part is true." Inwardly he felt an unexpected sense of relief. Although he would never admit it, he had silently been worrying that Bosco was alone, wherever he may be. "What I didn't tell you was that I am also his partner."

Sully couldn't hide his look of surprise. Swersky had told them that Bosco resigned, or as he had figured been forced to resign, in light of the charges brought against him by Dr. Fields. Bosco himself had told Sully that he was done; off the force, finished. He looked right at him and told him that. "What are you talking about? Bosco's done. He's not a cop anymore."

Liz gave him a knowing smile, "That's what they want you to think." Taking a deep breath she looked at him seriously. "I've been an undercover officer with Brooklyn Narcotics and Vice for two years; Bosco is undercover with me. They made it look like he was bounced from the department so that if the people we are dealing with decide to look into it, they find exactly what we want them to find. Believe me, Sullivan, this is not information that I am happily sharing with you. My life and Bosco's life are now dependent on the assumption that you will keep your mouth shut."

Sully couldn't help but to feel a little insulted. He had been a cop for twenty years. He knew what it meant to keep information confidential. Then as he looked at her nervously shifting her weight, he realized what a risk she was taking and if the situation were reversed he would probably feel the same way. "Why are you telling me this? You don't even know me."

Liz nodded, he was right. "You're right I don't know you, and honestly I don't really know Bosco either. That's the problem. I am putting my life in the hands of someone I just met. Someone who I think is a good person and a great cop. Someone who I feel would do anything for his partner. And also someone who is undeniably heartbroken, and lonely, and afraid that he won't make it another day. So I just want to understand what happened because I've never quit on anything in my whole life, and I'm not about to start today."

Sully was silent as he looked at her. Sighing Liz misread the look on his face as she turned away in disappointment. She just laid it out there for this guy and he wasn't going to help her. Staring at the wreckage of 55-David she felt dejected that her stroke of luck had fizzled so quickly.

"Do you want to get some coffee? I think a saw a place around the corner."

She turned, obviously surprised. "Yeah, of course."

The walk to the diner had been quiet as she was hesitant to discuss any business on the street. Sitting across from Sully she waited for him to speak. She had already told him everything she wanted to say and more. Now it was his turn.

Taking a long sip of coffee, Sully stared down into the brown liquid wondering where to start. Exhaling loudly, he reasoned that the beginning was a good enough place. "Bosco and Faith met each other at the academy. I didn't know them then but from what I understand she was one of the only people who could stand him. Turns out they made a pretty good team. Bosco can be kind of loud and pushy sometimes. You would think that he would have wanted another man backing him up, but for reasons only he knew he was more than happy with Faith. They were partners for six years. Five days a week, eight hours a day they rode around in an RMP together. They were close."

The tone of his voice made Liz feel that there was much more to this story. How could there not be? There are a lot of memories made in six years.

"Anyway, about a month ago Bosco and Faith were on their way to a call. Bosco was driving. They came to the intersection of Lexington Ave and the FDR onramp, Bosco may or may not have braked, they went into the intersection and a truck hit them on the passenger side." Liz's mind flashed back to the twisted RMP and the way that bent it into a horseshoe. "Faith died at the hospital, and Bosco….Bosco took it hard."

The bare minimum was all that she was going to get. Whether they got along or not, Sully felt a sense of allegiance toward Bosco and he wasn't about to air out all of his friend's dirty laundry to a woman that he just met. She seemed honest but it was too soon to know if he could trust her. Liz sat back in the booth seemingly satisfied although she couldn't help but to feel like there was more. Swirling his coffee, Sully thought about all the things that he didn't tell her.

"Look, Liz, you seem like a good person and frankly, I'm relieved that Bosco has someone in his life that cares about him. Of course there's more…there's a lot more. Bosco and Faith weren't just partners they were inseparable. Bosco had a hard time of it growing up and Faith was the only person in his life that he could trust. I don't think that he'll ever be able to get over this. In case you haven't noticed he's stubborn, close minded, and temperamental but, you're right, underneath all that he's a good person and a good partner. The only person who ever really saw that was Faith. So if you're asking me these questions because you want him to get over it so that you will have nothing to worry about, I'm sorry it just isn't going to happen. Bosco just lost the only person who ever really meant anything to him. He won't talk about it and he won't deal with it. That's just the way he is. So my suggestion for you is to just be there. He won't let you down. Even if he's barely getting by, he'll do everything he can to make sure he protects you. I promise you that."

Liz thought over what he had just said. This was definitely more than she had bargained for, although, she wasn't going to give up now. Her and Sully chatted for a few minutes before deciding to go their separate ways. It was getting dark as she walked back to the impound lot. Always keen to her surroundings, Liz tried to remain vigilant although her mind couldn't stop going over what he had told her. She definitely got what she came for. After today, she didn't think that she could ever look at Bosco the same way again.

Sully rounded the corner as his mind was also anywhere but the present. Bosco was undercover. He never would have guessed, although, it made perfect sense. The subway stairs came into view as Sully checked the sign to make sure he was on the right side of the street. ' _Hunts Point/Longwood- 6 Train Downtown and Brooklyn'._ Descending the narrow stairs Sully was so lost in thought that he didn't see a familiar face coming toward him.

"Sullivan? Is that you?" Sully was startled that anyone would recognize him in this neighborhood. Looking up he stopped abruptly.

"Jeff?"

The man extended his hand for Sully to shake, "Yeah, man! How long has it been?"

Sully laughed a little as the pair moved up to the street and out of the way, "Too long I'm afraid." Jeff and Sully were in the academy together and were both assigned to the 55 as new recruits. When Sully transferred to Anti-Crime, Jeff still worked in uniform for a while until he eventually moved on to a vice squad in the Bronx. They ran into each other randomly over the years although didn't really keep in touch. "How you been, Jeff?"

The other man smiled, "Oh I can't complain. Actually I was going to stop by the 55 and see if your old ass is still on the beat."

Sully nodded giving him a wry smile, "Yeah I'm still there."

Suddenly Jeff grew serious. "Sullivan, there's something I need to talk to you about. I don't know if it means anything but I just can't get it out of my head."

Sully was intrigued, "Ok."

"I ran a bunch of broads in the other night off the track. Most of them were too cracked out to know the difference, except one. I don't know this girl too well; I think she's new. Anyway, she told me that she turned a trick on someone who claimed to be cop. Someone who told her that him and his partner were dirty and they were murdering people and all this crazy bullshit. I figured she was just trying to beat the charge so I didn't pay her no mind. Then, she tells me that the cop said something to the effect of 'You didn't deserve it Yokas'."

Sully's blood ran cold in his veins. Numbly he watched as Jeff continued, "The name caught me off guard, because I remembered seeing that name before. I looked into it and found out she was cop, a cop in the 55 who had just been killed in a traffic accident. Did you know her?"

"Yeah." It was all he could manage.

Jeff didn't miss the shaken look on his Sully's face as he was quick to add, "I don't know, Sully, she's just some whore. She could have made the whole thing up. Either way, it just didn't feel right."

"Have you told anyone?" Sully wanted to make sure that their hand hadn't already been tipped.

"No, I didn't think the word of a whore and my gut feeling were enough to go on some witch hunt. I would hate to smear the name of a good cop for no reason at all."

Smearing the name of a good cop. It almost made him laugh. If his suspicions were right, the two people who would be most effected by this information were anything but "good" cops.

**This was a long one! I hope it was a good one. Reviews are always appreciated !**

**Above lyrics are from: Bon Jovi's "Superman Tonight"**


	14. Waiting for the End

" **Last Exit to Brooklyn"**

 **Author:** carmen_085

 **Disclaimer:** All Third Watch characters are property of NBC. All original characters belong to me

 **Summary:** After a terrible tragedy changes his life, Bosco goes undercover to find redemption and justice in the most unlikely of places

**Chapter Fourteen**

" _All I wanna do_

_Is trade this life for something new_

_Holding onto what I haven't got"_

-Early May 2001-

" _Bosco I really need to talk to you."_

_Any other time he would have been more than happy to listen to her, but not now. It was his first day back and the thrill of making a big bust was all that he could see. Her martial issues would need to wait. Bosco laid on the horn as he weaved in and out of traffic. Casting a momentary glance in her direction, he knew that something was wrong. He could feel it._

" _All units in the 55, shots fired at the corner of Lexington Avenue and FDR drive." Bosco's adrenaline kicked into overdrive. Turning the car around in the middle of the street_ , _he didn't bother to consult with his partner before taking the call._

_"Bosco I really need to talk to you," her words came out disjointed as the RMP bounced roughly across potholes and uneven patches in the road. Faith reached up and held tightly onto the 'oh shit' handle above her head. Her seat belt held her snugly in place as she cast a glance in Bosco's direction. He wasn't even wearing a seat belt. Something bad was going to happen._

_Bosco couldn't help but to feel annoyed. "Jesus Christ, Faith, can't this wait until later? I don't want to hear about Fred when we're on our way to a call!" They were some of the angriest words that he had ever spoken to her. He regretted saying them the moment the words left his mouth. There was no time for apologies, though, they would get to that later._

_As 55-David turned the corner of Lexington and 110th street near the park, Bosco let off the gas slightly. Their call was on the opposite side of the intersection between Lexington Ave. and the ramp to FDR drive. It was a very busy spot and a particularly dangerous intersection that he would at least need to slow down for if not stop completely._

_Faith couldn't wait any longer for Bosco to listen. She was going to blurt this out whether he cared or not. "Bosco! Jackson and Geidel I saw them…"_

_In an instant the RMP was rocked with earth shattering force as his world went black._

Bosco sat straight up in bed. His hair was matted down with sweat as he struggled to catch his breath. His heart felt like it might pound right through his chest. Shaking, he tried to calm himself down. It was only a dream. He was safe in his bed, not in the wrecked RMP. His partner was safe in her bed across the room, not lying next to him bloody and broken beyond repair. Everything was ok.

Except it wasn't. His chest was tight with anxiety as he tried to take a deep breath. It seemed so real. She was just right there with him, alive. And just like in reality, he couldn't protect her even in his dream. Worse than that he was angry with her. He blew her off, told her he didn't want to hear about her problems. Told her that he didn't care, when in reality that was the furthest thing from the truth. He cared so much that if he could right now he would switch places with her. If it came down to it, he would have given his life to save hers. But it didn't come down to it. She was gone before he even knew what happened.

A clap of thunder caused him to jump as the room briefly illuminated with a bright white light. Rain pelted the windows as he quietly got out of bed. Closing the door behind him, he walked out into the darkened living room. The windows were open as the curtains billowed out of control. Shutting them both, Bosco paused as he rested his arms on the window frame. Leaning forward, he rested his forehead on the cool glass. Sheets of rain pelted the window as he hesitantly closed his eyes. All day long he thought about her and all night long he dreamt about her. No matter what he did, he could never escape it. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw her. The room flashed to white as the windows rattled with another clap of thunder.

_"Bosco! Jackson and Geidel I saw them…"_

Did she really say that or did he just dream it? _Jackson and Geidel I saw them._ Saw them where? They had been right behind them before the accident, maybe she was telling him that she saw them pull out. But the way she said it, it seemed more urgent. Like she had something to say about them. Either way it didn't really matter now. Faith was dead. Closing his eyes, Bosco's heart raced as he saw her sitting next to him in the RMP. Snapping his eyes open, Bosco pushed back from the window. He felt sick. His stomach turned over as he made a beeline for the bathroom. Without warning he was heaving over the toilet. His body involuntarily convulsed as nothing came out. The sour taste of stomach acid burned the back of his throat as a fresh sheen of sweat beaded up on his forehead. Breathing deeply he sat back against the cool tiles. It scared him that his emotional turmoil was manifesting itself into physical symptoms that he had very little control over.

Atlas appeared in the doorway, curious to see what was wrong. Although he didn't understand why Bosco was sitting on the bathroom floor in the middle of the night, he could feel the anxiety radiating off of him. Just like his master, Atlas seemed unsure of what to do with this wounded soul. The dog looked on with concern, unwilling and unable to simply walk away. Bosco reached his hand out tentatively. It was all the urging the canine needed as he quickly plopped down on the floor next to him. If Bosco only knew that it could be that easy with Liz. He wanted tell her everything. He wanted to let her in. But he just couldn't. If he told her everything and she didn't want him, didn't want to deal with all his baggage, then where would he be? Alone: with no partner, no friends, and no job. Although it sounded like nothing could be worse than that, Bosco was actually more worried about what would happen if she wanted him. If she accepted him the way he really was with all his baggage and flaws and problems, he knew that he wouldn't be able to stop himself from developing some kind of feelings toward her. Becoming emotionally attached to another partner was the last thing he wanted to do. He would rather be alone than feel something for her. Because if something happened to another partner, he wasn't sure he would be able to survive that.

Liz rolled over in bed as she heard her partner retching across the hallway. She wanted to get out of bed and go over there. She wanted to tell him that everything would be ok. But more than that she wanted to make things ok for him. Liz had only known Bosco for a couple of months, but in that time she had developed a level of respect for him. Here was someone who was barely hanging on, but still he kept going. She knew he was having a hard time even though he did everything he could to hide it from her. She knew it probably took a monumental effort for him to simply get out of bed in the morning. Nonetheless he stood by her day in and day out, putting on a front that would convince anyone, and playing with fire in a world that he barely knew. He was more determined that anyone she had ever met. So it was hard for her to sit there and do nothing while someone she respected was suffering all alone.

" _He won't talk about it and he won't deal with it. That's just the way he is."_ Sully words echoed in her mind as she lay there staring at the ceiling.

* * *

The music of the club caused the bar to vibrate under his elbows. Bosco rested his forehead against his hands as he stared down into an untouched glass of beer. He felt like shit. Needless to say, he didn't get much sleep last night as the idea of closing his eyes, even for a moment, terrified him. Staring down at the brown liquid in front of him, his stomach turned over. Maybe he had a stomach virus and there was an actual physiologic reason for all this. He would be delighted. Unfortunately, that probably wasn't the case.

It had been two weeks since they had heard from Mickey. Liz knew that it would take him a few days to assure himself that Bosco was on the level, but two weeks…two weeks made her think that something was wrong. She also hadn't seen him much lately. He had been at the club a couple days ago but had avoided both her and Bosco as if he knew something was up. Their identities were airtight, she was sure of that. So what? What could be taking so long?

Putting the tray of drinks down, Liz stopped to talk to a customer although her eyes remained on Bosco across the room. He hadn't moved all night as she watched him slumped over at the bar. Struggling to keep his eyes open, he looked so tired. Glancing at the clock, she saw that it was only midnight. The bar had been pretty slow all night; they probably wouldn't be missed if they snuck out a little early. Walking over to Bosco, she put her arm around his shoulders. Leaning in close to his ear she whispered, "How are you doing?"

The feeling of her body so close to his made him relax as he subconsciously leaned his head against hers. Taking a deep breath he replied, "I'm ok."

He was not ok. That much was evident, although, Liz decided not to ruin the moment by pointing out the obvious. She was happy that he had become more comfortable with her as situations like these had gradually started to feel more genuine and less like a show.

"This place is dead. Let's get out of here." Bosco didn't want to seem too excited although he couldn't deny that the idea of going home was more than appealing.

"Hey you two. What's up?" Liz was surprised to see Mickey standing in front of them. Straightening up, she smiled at him warmly.

"Mickey! What's going on?" Everything seemed normal as Liz tried not to appear too excited to see him.

Pulling out the bar stool next to Bosco, Mickey sat down. "I've been meaning to get back to you guys. I just had a couple of things to settle first." Bosco swung from a semi-relaxed state to being back on high alert. His heart pounded as he tried to appear as casual as possible. Liz was still leaning against him as he could feel her nervously shifting her weight from side to side. It made him feel better to know that she felt just as apprehensive as he did. Mickey regarded them thoughtfully as Bosco made every effort to look him right in the eye. In his short time as an undercover he had quickly discovered that one thing you can always do to make some think you're telling the truth is to look them in the eye. It was hard to tell a lie straight up to someone's face, but he was getting better at it. "So I looked into a couple of things and I think we should go ahead with this."

Liz translated his statement in her head, _'I looked into Bosco and found out he's not a liar and even though I'm still insanely paranoid, I'm also insanely greedy so against my better judgment I'm going to eat up all the bullshit you throw my way."_ Perfect Mickey. Just perfect. Liz smiled at him. She had this little bastard just where she wanted him. A little more legwork and he would bring her Barksdale on a silver platter.

"I'm glad to hear that, Mickey. I think we should take a trip up to the North Bronx as soon as possible. So, you know, you can see the product. Make sure you like it, and, trust me, you WILL like it." Liz was a little impressed at how easy it was for Bosco to smear the shit on. He had hung back for a little while, but now he was stepping up and saying all the right things. It was a good thing; too, Mickey would probably get suspicious if she was supplying all the information about his contacts. Either way, she was proud of him. Whether Bosco believed it or not, he was doing a good job.

"Yeah, yeah. How's tomorrow night?" Tomorrow night? Liz had warned the UC in the Bronx that she trying to set something up but she didn't give him a definite date. Would he be available tomorrow night? She had to go with. Mickey had already iced them for two weeks, she didn't want to waste any more time screwing around. Liz was about to open her mouth to respond when Bosco answered for her.

"That's kind of short notice, man. I'll have to see if my guy is available." Bosco shook his head as if Mickey was putting them out by requesting a meet so soon. Liz saw Mickey's shoulders deflate, as she was quick to interject.

"I think he'll be around, babe. It shouldn't be a problem. What do you think around eleven o'clock or so?" Bosco nodded his agreement. "Mickey, how about we plan to meet up around eleven at 569 Intervale Ave. in the Bronx. It's a big red brick apartment building with a red painted door. Apartment 14D. I'll call if something changes."

Mickey nodded suddenly very serious. "I'll see both of you tomorrow." Getting up without saying another word, he walked out the front door. Liz let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. They had been waiting two weeks for this, and now that it happened she felt more than a little uneasy. She hoped that Todd, the Bronx UC, was available as any delay on her part could set off an already very paranoid Mickey. Bosco nudged her, causing her to come back to reality.

"Ready to go?" He looked more tired than a few moments ago as she realized that the exchange with Mickey probably took every last ounce of strength he had left. Nodding, she grabbed his hand as they walked toward the door. It was warm outside, as they started back toward their apartment. Bosco was exhausted although the thought of closing his eyes and going to sleep was scarier than fighting to stay awake. He didn't know what he would see if he surrendered himself to the unconscious world that lived deep inside him. He held onto his partner' s hand as they rounded the corner near their apartment. Ever since that first night, when she held onto him and he truly felt it was for more than just appearances, they had walked home hand in hand. When they left the club, she always took his hand and he never really found a reason let go. It just felt too good. It reminded him that she was there and no matter how bad he felt he knew that if only for a few minutes he wasn't alone in this world. It was reassuring and comforting and he looked forward to it every single night.

* * *

Bosco sat next to Liz on the subway as it pulled out of the station. The faces on the platform whizzed by as they disappeared back into the dark tunnel. His eyes scanned the advertisements above the seats without actually absorbing a word that they said. He was still exhausted although he felt a little better than last night. He fought sleep for as long as he could before exhaustion finally took over and he passed out. Thankfully, he was so tired that even his subconscious needed a break and he had no dreams.

His eyes wandered around the train, careful not to make eye contact with anyone. Liz was twisting a piece of hair around her finger as her eyes focused on the floor. He was slightly amused by her wardrobe choice as it made no sense to him. Leggings with running shoes, an oversized NY Giants t-shirt, and a jean jacket. As she explained, she needed to look a little sloppy when she wasn't at the club to enhance the image of a drug addict. Bosco laughed, anything to enhance the "image". Thankfully, a sweatshirt and jeans was all he needed to enhance his image.

' _This is a Bronx bound 4 Train. The next stop is 149_ _th_ _street Grand Concourse. Please stand clear of the closing doors.'_ Liz was pressed against him as the train pulled out of the station. The overhead clock showed 10 pm. They were going to be early. Liz wasn't sure how long the train would take to get there, so they left with enough time to make sure they made it there before Mickey. She wanted to talk to Todd first and check out this CI to make sure he was on the level.

Bosco allowed his eyes to drift shut for a moment as the rocking of the train relaxed him slightly.

" _Bosco."_ His eyes snapped open. He looked at Liz, she didn't seem to notice him as she was lost in her own thoughts. Glancing around the train, Bosco didn't see any familiar faces, although he heard his name clearly. The train slowed to a stop as the station came into view. The doors opened as a couple people got off and twice as many got on. People were standing now as the car became crowded.

" _Bosco."_ There it was! He heard it again. Craning his neck he searched the faces in the car. Again, Liz pressed against him as the car pulled out of station. Grainy orange tiles whizzed by as they disappeared into the tunnel again.

' _This is a Bronx bound 4 Train. The next stop is Jackson Street.'_ The automated voice overhead broke his thoughts as an unsettled feeling came over him. The train rattled side to side as they came out of the tunnel and onto the elevated tracks in the Bronx. For a moment it felt like they were floating in the air as the train banked around a curve.

" _Bosco, where are you? It hurts so bad! Bosco!"_ Putting his head down he covered his ears. He couldn't be hearing this. She was dead. She wasn't here. His heart began pounding in his chest, as he felt dizzy.

" _Bosco! I need you! Help me!"_ No, no, no! This wasn't real. She wasn't here. He struggled to get air in, as the periphery of his vision began closing in. The train slowed as the Jackson Street platform came into view. He felt sick as his stomach turned over.

The doors opened and without warning he pushed toward the door. Liz snapped out of her own daze as she watched her partner bolt toward the door. This wasn't their stop! What the hell was wrong with him?

" _I'll miss you, Bosco."_ He ran off the train as he heard her louder than anything else. Cool air hit his face as soon as he stepped out onto the platform. Doubled over, he tried to catch his breath. His hands were shaking as Liz walked up behind him. Fully prepared to ask him what the hell his problem was, she stopped short when she saw him. Taking him by the arm, she pushed him out of the influx of commuters and off to the side. Bosco focused all of his efforts on breathing as she bent over next to him, placing a hand on his back.

"What's going on?" Air was finally getting into his lungs as he felt his heart slow down a bit. The train pulled out of the station causing a rush of air to blow her hair around her face as he shifted his gaze.

"I'm ok. I just got a little hot on there. You know, from all the people." It was weak, but she didn't press it any further. Straightening up, Liz was a little hurt that he wouldn't open up to her when he so desperately needed someone. Removing her hand from his back, she stood there in silence until he was ready.

A few moments later Bosco straightened up, and nodded toward her. "Let's go." He was hoping that she wouldn't make him get back on the train after his near meltdown, although, he wouldn't have protested if she did. Even if it killed him, he wouldn't let her know how bad he was.

"We can walk. It's not far from here." She didn't miss the obvious relief in his features when they headed down the stairs. As they walked through the darkened streets, Liz couldn't help but feel slightly annoyed. Why didn't he trust her? Why wouldn't he just talk to her? She was right here; right next to him. Glancing over at Bosco, she felt a pang of regret. He looked so tired and so defeated, yet, here he was following her into God only knows what. He never told her no, and he never said he couldn't. He was always there. So maybe she should cut him a break. After all she wasn't the one who just lost their partner. Or the one who was so haunted by his past that he couldn't sleep at night. And she wasn't the one who risked his life everyday to back up a person he just met in a world he barely knew. So really, who was she to be annoyed? If she had just been through the same thing, she probably wouldn't be too eager to spill her guts to someone she barely knew. He was doing a good job. Considering the circumstances, he was doing a great job. Grabbing his hand in the darkness, Liz smiled at him genuinely.

"You're doing a good job, you know. I'm glad you're here." Liz saw the corners of his mouth tug upward in a hesitant smile before falling back into their usual grim line. She was not deterred, however, as she continued. "You're a good partner. I feel safe when I'm with you." Bosco had to look away. Tears sprung up in the corners of his eyes as he let out a ragged breath. He never thought he would ever hear someone say that again. It made him feel better than she would ever know. Squeezing her hand, he couldn't make eye contact as a million different emotions threatened to come spilling out of him. Liz eyed him carefully before looking away. It was clear that her words had touched a nerve and she didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable. She wasn't just blowing smoke up his ass to make him feel better. She really meant what she said. Ever since the incident with Justin Tipton on his first night in Brooklyn, Bosco had made every effort to let her know what he was there for her no matter how horrible he felt. She did like having him around, and she did feel safe with him. It was the truth.

It didn't take long to walk to 569 Intervale Avenue. The building was about what Bosco had expected. It wasn't the shittiest place he had ever seen but it sure left something to be desired. The bright red metal door was propped open with a board, as Liz did not hesitate to let herself inside. Taking a right he followed her up the stairs. It seemed like she had been there before.

"Have you been here before?"

Liz stopped as she crinkled her nose at him. "Hell no. Todd told me it was on the second floor." Todd was the Bronx UC that was going to help them set the trap.

"Have you worked with him before?" He was a little apprehensive about putting his life in the hands of a total stranger. If it started hitting the fan in there, he wanted to know if this guy would be backing them up.

They walked down a dirty hallway and around a corner as Liz shrugged her shoulders. "Yeah I worked another operation with him. He does a good job and he's been under for about ten years, on and off. So he definitely knows his shit." She trailed off as the yellow lights buzzed overhead. Bosco swallowed hard. Obviously if he needed to worry about anyone, he would need to worry about himself. If anyone was going to screw this up, it was going to be him. Liz stopped in front of apartment 14D. The door was cracked open as she knocked before opening it the whole way.

"Todd?" A middle-aged man with a friendly face appeared from the other room. They walked inside as Bosco eyes immediately fell on the two people sitting on the couch. A young Dominican man and a light skinned black girl were snuggled up next to each other. Bosco assumed the man to be their CI, although, he wasn't sure what the girl had to do with any of this.

"Liz. How are you?" The man approached them as he hugged Liz and extended his hand toward Bosco. "You must be Bosco, Liz told me you're really doing a good job. Undercover isn't easy, you should be proud of yourself."

"Thanks." Bosco smiled as he shook Todd's hand. He hadn't felt this good about himself in a while. It was nice, even if didn't last very long.

"Now, that's enough, Jason. I told you she could stay here until they showed up but now they're here. So…" He pointed at the girl, "Beat it." The girl stood up as she made a big production of putting her shoes on. Snatching her coat off the chair, she shot a dirty look at Todd.

"Call me, later?" He nodded as she headed for the door. "Fucking pigs." Slamming the door, they stood there as her heels clicked down the hallway and out of earshot.

Liz rolled her eyes, "Nice girl." Her and Bosco sat down across from the CI.

Shaking his head he dismissed her behavior. "Ya'll have to excuse her. She just had a run in with the po-lice." He leaned back against the couch folding his arms behind his head. "Some crazy mother fucker gets her in the car and starts with how he's a cop, and how he's crooked and is killin all these drug dealers and shit like how he killed another cop. Crazy mother fucker, no doubt"

Bosco felt a chill run up his spine. He didn't know why this idiot's babbling bothered him but it did.

Todd shook his head. "Hey, Jason if you don't like the way we do business, then get off the payroll. I would be delighted to not have to put up with your bullshit anymore."

Jason waved his arms around. "Yo man, be easy. I ain't sayin that. I don't got no problem with y'all. In fact, I got somethin' to tell ya'll." Bosco eyed Todd as he leaned against the wall looking doubtful.

"Look, I've known Mickey since we was kids. Grew up with him. He's dangerous." Jason paused for a moment to let the weight of his words sink in.

Liz appeared less than interested. Of course, Mickey was dangerous, they were in the middle of an undercover drug sting; not ring around the rosy.

"I'm serious, yo. He might seem nice, he might seem like you can trust him. But, listen up, that crazy bastard will snap when you least expect it. So, you know, watch you're back because if he thinks you're screwing him…." He trailed off leaving little to the imagination. Bosco shot a glance at his partner. She tried to appear like she didn't care, although, he thought he saw a flicker of apprehension in her face.

"Hey, hey, hey shut up. Someone's coming up the hallway." Todd's ears were finely tuned to every sound in the building. The four of them fell silent as footfalls echoed against the cinderblock wall. Within a few seconds there was a hesitant knock at the door.

Todd got up changing his facial expression from one that was friendly and honest to an unreadable glare. Jason winked at Bosco and Liz, not taking things nearly as serious as they would have liked. Liz shook her head. It was definitely a stroke of luck to find someone Mickey knew, but she was beginning to wonder if he would be worth the trouble.

"What's up, Jason! Aw man, I haven't seen you in forever!" Mickey followed Todd into the living room, clearly excited to see a long lost friend. Liz sat back. This piece of shit better perform.

"Mic-key! How's it hanging, brother?" Jason jumped up, not hesitating to wrap his arms around the newcomer. Bosco, Liz, and Todd waited patiently for the two men to finish their reminiscing before talking business. It was crucial that Mickey feel comfortable and trust them. Judging by the look of things, he seemed pretty at home.

"Not too bad. I heard there might be an opening up here, so you know…" He smiled widely as he trailed off. Jason nodded enthusiastically.

"Oh man, you have no idea I can…" Before he could get too carried away, Todd jumped in.

"Let's all sit down, Mickey." Todd gestured toward the couch as he shot Jason a look that told him to shut up. Todd was the "Bronx Contact" not Jason; in fact, the only reason Jason was there at all was to ensure that Mickey didn't get any second thoughts. While this was all very fun, Todd was sure that Mickey would eventually begin to wonder why his friend from the neighborhood was doing all the talking.

Bosco also thought that Jason was contributing a little too much as he threw a glance at his partner. She didn't say anything, although her expression told him that he needed to do something. Todd was supposed to be his guy. He couldn't very well just sit there and let his girlfriend do all the talking. It would look suspicious. Licking his lips, Bosco realized that both of them were waiting for him to jump this thing off.

"Mickey, so this is Todd." Bosco gestured toward the older man. "He's the guy I've been telling you about." Mickey looked him over a little more closely than he had before although he didn't say anything. Bosco continued, making it up as he went along. "Look, man, I wouldn't bring you up here if this wasn't the real deal. I'm not into wasting anyone's time and I…" Before he could finish Mickey cut him off.

"How much?" Leaning back in the chair he lit a cigarette as he eyed Bosco carefully. How much what? Money, product? What the hell was he talking about?

"What did you tell me earlier?" Redirecting the focus off of Bosco and onto herself and Todd she covered for his indecisiveness without batting an eye.

Todd nodded, picking up where she left off. "Fifteen to twenty kilos a week."

Mickey took a drag on his cigarette. "Fifteen to twenty kilos a week." He repeated it to himself as he nodded. "How much cash you think that'll bring."

Todd smiled as he let out a wry laugh. "Well that just depends on how many people you plan to cut in," Todd shrugged, pretending to do some quick math in his head, "Keep around eight or so people to start, um… I'd say you're lookin' about ten grand a week, give or take."

Liz nodded in agreement. "Yeah that sounds about right." It was back to Bosco now. He eyed Mickey expectantly.

"That's the kind of money you don't walk away from." Mickey nodded in agreement although he said nothing for a moment.

"Let me see it."

Liz nodded at Todd. They had expected this. Disappearing into the other room, he reemerged with a brown paper bag. Upending the bag onto the table, a white brick fell out with a loud thud. Jason laughed out loud with excitement as Mickey's eye widened considerably. Todd shrugged, trying to appear as casual as possible. "That just came in this morning. Taste it."

In all his years as a cop, Bosco had never seen such a huge brick of dope. Trying to keep his surprise concealed, he estimated that they were looking at about eight pounds. A felony for sure, he watched as Mickey leaned forward scraping a little bit of the powder with his fingernail. Letting the substance dissolve on his tongue, his face spread into a satisfied smile.

"That's nice." Staring at the package longingly, it was clear that Mickey would have liked to pick the whole thing up and take off.

Bosco gave him a knowing glance, "What do you say man?"

"Yo, Mickey you're a damn fool if you pass this up. Me and my man over there have been running shotgun over this whole neighborhood, get your ass up here and bring that motherfucker Barksdale with you. I'm tellin' you man, we get the right kind of people up here, we could take over the whole goddamned borough." Jason leaned forward, taking a taste for himself much to Todd's obvious disapproval.

Mickey nodded his head, "Let me take some back to Brooklyn. I'll talk to Mr. Barksdale. I'm sure he'll want to set up a meet." Liz almost jumped off the couch she was so excited. Grabbing a piece of wax paper she cut off a quarter sized piece of dope. Wrapping it up into a bindle, Bosco was impressed with how effortless she looked. She really did play the part of a drug addict well.

Stuffing the bag into his pants, Mickey got up. "Good seeing you, again, man." Slapping Jason on the back he walked toward the door. "Bosco, Liz… I'll talk to you tomorrow." The four of them listened as his steps hurried toward the stairwell and out of the building. He didn't waste anytime. Glancing up at the clock, she realized that it was almost one am. He was probably trying to hustle back to Brooklyn before Barksdale left the club. Regardless, he was on the hook. There as no doubt about that.

Laughing, Jason pounded the coffee table. "Pay up bitches!" Todd rolled his eyes as he dug into this pocket. Forking a hundred dollar bill over, he watched as Jason headed toward the door. Once the CI was gone, the three of them looked at each other.

"Expensive snitch." Bosco shook his head as Todd was forced to nod in agreement.

"Tell me about it. That was good work, though, I don't think your guy has a clue."

Liz smiled, "The way he ran out of here… I would expect something in the next few days."

Bosco, Liz, and Todd talked for a few more minutes before they parted ways. The Intervale avenue station was only a couple of blocks away as they walked in silence. Liz was happy with the way things went although she couldn't help but to harbor some level of concern for her partner. Despite all of the positive feedback he had received, Bosco couldn't make himself feel happy. The incident on the train earlier had shaken him as he was beginning to realize just how little control he had over himself.

Thankfully, when the 4 train pulled into the station it was nearly deserted. Sitting down next to Liz he was happy to see that they were completely alone. Exhaling, Bosco leaned his head against the window as the train pulled out of the station. Casting a glance at his partner, Liz frowned when she saw the despondent look on his face.

"That was good work tonight. You should be happy with yourself."

Bosco shot her a momentary glance before staring down at the floor. "I guess so."

Crinkling her nose at him she shook her head, "Smile…hopefully this whole thing will be over in a couple of days."

Bosco listened to her although the corners of his mouth remained in a straight line. "I'm good, thanks."

"What? You don't think I can get a smile out of you?"

Bosco shook his head solemnly, "No…not really." The train screeched to a stop as the doors opened at the Freeman Avenue station. A young kid got on with a boom box in his hand. Turning a few knobs, music filled the otherwise empty car, as they started moving again. Pulling a pair of sunglasses over his eyes, the kid bobbed his head back and forth with the music.

Tiny lights were visible out of windows as the train floated through the South Bronx. Bosco was lost in thought as his partner stood up, "You don't think I can't get you to smile, huh?" Bosco looked at her face and knew that she was getting ready to do something. "Hey kid, turn that up!"

Turning the dial on the boom box, the kid bobbed his head a little quicker as his foot tapped against the floor.

' _I'm real, the way you walk, the way you move. Cause I'm real'_ The Ja Rule/ song had been receiving considerable play time and she knew almost all the words. The kid enthusiastically clapped his hands urging her on as she continued to sing along with the song. Liz was a pretty good dancer from all the time she spent at the club, and she knew it. Bosco watched her as she seductively moved her hips side to side. The kid was now singing along with her as she moved toward the back of the train. _'Hard lovin', straight thuggin'. Baby I ain't doin' this here for nothin'._

Liz got up on bench as the train cruised through the Jackson Ave station. Faces blurred as the lights of the platform were gone within a second. The kid got off his bench and came over to her, offering her his hand. Getting off the bench the two of them danced together.

' _Cause I'm real…"_ Liz sang along as she let the kid spin her in a circle.

' _The way you stare, the way you look, the style you wear.'_ He countered her as they moved side to side in sync. Liz smiled at him as she continued singing along with the radio. Bosco watched them while an unusual feeling came over him. As the train floated over the tracks, his eyes were drawn to the passing landscape of the South Bronx. Tiny lights were illuminated everywhere as human activity was all around. The thumping of the boom box caused the bench to vibrate as his partner and a total stranger had easily bonded over a single song playing on the radio. He watched as they interacted with each other. Two strangers brought together by nothing more than a willingness to let go and fall into the great expanse of the human experience. For the first time in a while he felt surrounded by life and hope in a world that's heart was still beating. Somewhere deep inside of him, a very small part of Bosco was alive again. He smiled.

Liz stopped for a moment as the subway screeched and dipped underground. Glancing at her partner, she saw him smiling at nothing in particular. Pointing at him she laughed triumphantly, "I got you! You're smiling!"

Bosco couldn't stop smiling as he watched her hop around the train, celebrating her victory. Maybe things were going to turn around for him after all.

* * *

Davis looked out the window as the 4 Train cruised over Hunt's Point Avenue. It wasn't really a part of town that he frequented although he wasn't here for pleasure. Easing the car along the track his eyes scanned the women. They looked so young, and with good reason, the average age out here was only fourteen.

"Do you see her anywhere?" Sully leaned forward from the backseat. The mug shot of the woman Jeff told him about was lying on the console.

"No, not yet." Davis's eyes perused the girls; they all looked a like in the dark. It would be a miracle if they found this girl. He contemplated telling Sully that they should just forget it when an uneasy feeling rose up in his throat. How would a whore come up with that kind of story if it weren't at least a little bit true? More than that, how the hell would she know Yokas's name? There were just too many similarities; he couldn't ignore it.

"I think that might be her up there." Sully leaned over the console to take another look at the photograph. He watched as a young light skinned black girl got out of the car in front of them. Leaning through the window, she emerged a second later stuffing something into her pocket. The car pulled away as she turned back toward the track. "That's her, Davis. Pull up!"

Sully sat back so she couldn't see him as she looked at Davis through the car window. "Hey baby, what's up?" Davis smiled back, although he inwardly felt disgusted.

"Not too much. What do you say thirty for the blow job, fifty to go all the way." Glancing over her shoulder, she didn't waste much time getting in the car. Sully was silent as Davis pulled off the track and into an alleyway. The girl turned; ready to start until she caught sight of Sully in the backseat.

"What the hell is this? I don't do two for ones."

"Hey take it easy. We're not here for sex. We need to talk to you." She had her hand on the door handle.

"I don't got nothin' to say."

"Hey, come on! At least listen for a minute." She paused, as Sully didn't miss a beat. "You had a customer a couple of weeks ago, someone who told you he was a cop, and someone who told you he murdered someone; another police officer. We have some pictures I need you to look at." Before Sully could produce the photos of Jackson and Geidel, the girl bolted from the car.

"I ain't talkin' to no more fucking cops!" Without thinking Davis threw his door open and chased after her.

"Hey! Hey!" He caught up to the girl, blocking her path. Pushing past him she dug her nails into his arm.

"Leave me the hell alone!" Turning, Davis grabbed her by the arm, throwing her against the building.

"Look you don't have to tell me shit, but listen up. You talked to a man a couple of week ago. He told you he was a cop. He told you he killed another cop. I need you to look at these pictures and tell me who he is." Sully had appeared by this time. She was silent as she looked down at the ground.

"That cop, the one who was killed, she was a mother. Had two little kids at home," Sully watched as her facial expressions changed ever so slightly. "Her partner thinks it's his fault. Matter of fact, he quit the job altogether. Guess he couldn't do it without her." Sully knew this was technically a lie, but he promised to keep Liz's secret.

"Why the hell are you tellin' me this?"

Sully leaned into her as he dropped his voice, "Because I want you to know exactly who you're hurting here."

She was silent for a moment and he thought that she might say something. Pushing Davis away from her, she walking away without saying a word.

Across the street a man squinted his eyes. The dim streetlight wasn't much although he could make out most of what was going on. "Damn, Davis, you like to smack em around a little." Brian Jackson watched as Davis threw the hooker against the building. Ever since he saw Sullivan coming out the file room, his paranoia had kicked into overdrive. So he kept an eye on him during the shift, and afterwards he tailed him. The last two nights were nothing, but tonight both Sullivan and Davis up here wrangling some whore; now that, that was something. But what the hell did they want with some hooker? It didn't make any sense just yet.

**Lyrics are from:**

**Linkin Park "Waiting for the End"**

**Ja Rule/ "I'm real"**

**Please review!**


	15. Airplanes

" **Last Exit to Brooklyn"**

**Author:** carmen_085

**Disclaimer:** All Third Watch characters are property of NBC. All original characters belong to me

**Summary:** After a terrible tragedy changes his life, Bosco goes undercover to find redemption and justice in the most unlikely of places

**Chapter Fifteen**

" _Can we pretend that airplanes_

_In the night sky are like shooting stars?_

_I could really use a wish right now"_

_Something was burning. He didn't know what it was but it smelled like rubber. Opening his eyes slowly, Bosco looked around. He was in the car, but what the hell happened? Shifting slightly in his seat, he tried to look around. He could barely move. Faith! Straightening up, a surge of anxiety caused his heart to race._

_"Faith? Please open your eyes…" She looked bad. He was scared. "Faith! Can you hear me?" She didn't move._

_Faith heard her name as she struggled to come back to the living world. It was Bosco's voice. She could recognize it anywhere. He sounded so concerned. It was scaring her. Something must be wrong._

' _Bosco'. She said his name but nothing came out. Forcing her eyes open, she looked around. They were in the car. Bosco was holding her hand. In six years of knowing him, he had never done something so affectionate or emotional. God…she must really be dying. Squinting she turned her head slightly, it was the first time they had laid eyes on each other since the accident. The first thing that struck her was the amount of blood running down her partner's face._

_"Blood…" It was so much more painful to utter that single word than she had ever imagined it could be. She felt like she couldn't catch her breath as the sickening sound of popping and cracking in her chest was almost enough to make her die right then and there._

_Quickly reaching up, Bosco swiped his cheek with the back of his shirtsleeve. It was nothing. He didn't want her to worry about him. He was no doctor but he knew that she was hurt way worse than him. Squeezing her hand, Bosco was fast to reassure her. "It's nothing. I'm fine."_

_His eyes scanned her face as he tried to keep his emotions at bay. Oh my God, how did this happen? Pinching his eyes shut, Bosco snapped them back open. It wasn't a dream. This was really happening. The car was so tight that he could barely move although he never let go of her hand._

" _Just hang on a for a little while longer, Faith." Through the shattered glass Bosco saw Jimmy Doherty approaching the car._

_"Hey Bosco! Bosco! How you guys doing?"_

_Bosco shook his head with obvious concern, "I'm ok but I think Faith is really hurt." Jimmy's gaze drifted across the car. He estimated about 2 feet of intrusion on the passenger side as it appeared that Yokas was tightly compacted between her partner and what remained of her side of the car. Gritting his teeth, Jimmy gave his jacket to Bosco._

_"We're taking the roof off. Cover yourselves with this." Bosco threw the jacket over both of them as the world went black._

Bosco's heart was racing as he snapped his eyes open. His muscles were tense and frozen in place as he struggled to interpret his surroundings. It was only a dream. Taking a couple deep breaths he tried to calm himself down. Rolling onto his back, he stared up at the ceiling. His eyes fixed on the tiles as he forced himself to think of anything else. His right side tingled as the memory of Faith wedged up against him lingered. Squeezing his right hand into a fist, he swore that he could still feel her hand in his. Against his better judgment he closed his eyes for a moment. Maybe he could go back there, if only for a second, and he could feel her next to him. Maybe he could feel the warmth of her hand in his. And maybe he could pretend that she was still alive if only for a little while.

Instead, he saw her lying in the ER, cold and dead on a stretcher. Stripped naked and cracked open, her eyes staring straight ahead completely vacant. Bosco sat bolt upright in the bed. The tingling in his body and the warmth in his hand had quickly faded to a state of panic. His heart raced as he tried to catch his breath. He couldn't let this get out of control. Lying back down he willed himself to think of something else, something positive. Running a shaky hand through his hair, he thought of Liz. Funny, she was the first thing that came to his mind. He thought about how nice it felt to have her arm around him the other night at the club. He thought about how comforting it was to hold her hand, even if the meaning behind it was somewhat unclear. He thought about her dancing on the train with a complete stranger like it was the most natural thing in the world. He liked thinking about her. But no matter how hard he tried to keep thinking about her the same image of Faith lying in the ER kept intruding.

Getting out of bed, he quietly closed the door behind him. Sweat began to bead up on the back of his neck, as he felt sick. Leaning against the bathroom door, he swallowed hard. He had to get a handle on this. Taking a few deep breaths, his efforts were too little too late as his anxiety had already taken control. Pacing back and forth his mind raced from one though to the next. Was this what it was like to go crazy? He was losing control and he didn't know what to do. Stopping for a moment he walked to the bedroom door, he was going to wake her up and tell her everything. No! He couldn't do that. Pulling his hand away from the doorknob he retreated back to the living room. What the hell was he thinking? Sitting down on the couch he rocked back and forth. Why wouldn't this just go away?

He felt trapped in the small apartment, as the walls seemed like they were closing in. Grabbing his shoes, Bosco was out the door and down the stairs before he even knew where he was going. It was late, probably three or four in the morning, but the streets were still alive with activity. Groups of people sat on their stoops as the warm night air had forced them out of their apartments. He started walking down Nostrand Avenue, lost in thought,

He was making every effort to move on with his life, but still these goddamned ugly images wouldn't leave him alone. Every time he closed his eyes, she was there, and not the way he wanted to remember her. Images that were so horrible Bosco wasn't sure he could ever close his eyes and not be completely terrified of what he might see. He was mad. No matter how hard he tried, no matter how much he fought, he couldn't escape it. His heart pumped louder as anger pulsed through his veins. He needed a release. Up ahead a garbage can listed to its side, as Bosco did not think twice before picking it up and throwing it against the building. It felt good for a second, but after that the fact remained that he could destroy every garbage can in Brooklyn and it wouldn't bring Faith back. It wouldn't even come close.

There was a little park at the end of the block. It was dark this time of night as anyone who cared about their safety would most definitely keep walking. Bosco could not have given two shits les so he sat down on a bench. Leaning forward, he covered his face with his hands. Hot tears rolled down his cheeks and around his palms.

Why did this have to happen? She didn't deserve this. If anyone deserved to be dead it was him. He just couldn't understand how one minute everything was ok and the next his partner, his best friend, was gone. For six years, she was sitting next to him in the car, and in six hours it was like she had never even existed. Why didn't he listen to her? Why didn't he slow down? Why wasn't he more careful? Why couldn't he protect her? They were all questions that he would never know the answer to although it didn't stop him from asking. But more than anything else, the one thing he wanted to know most was: Why did she have to die when she knew I needed her so much? Bosco wasn't sure how long he sat there, probably hours. Eventually the sun started to peeked through the trees as a warm orange glow filled the streets.

Liz woke up early as she noticed that her partner wasn't in the bed next to her. Maybe he had taken Atlas out for a walk. Stretching as she entered the living room, she was surprised to see the German Shepard stretched out on the couch. That was strange. The dog immediately perked up when he saw her. Lumbering over to the door, he wagged his tail suggestively. "Ok, ok. Let me get my shoes on." The dog paced side to side as Liz opened the door. The neighborhood was quiet as she felt the warm sun on her face. Walking down the street, she pulled Atlas away as he attempted to romp through an overturned trashcan. Crossing the street, her eye caught something. Stopping for a moment, she saw Bosco sitting in the park. He didn't seem to notice her as he stared straight ahead. What the hell was he doing? She watched for a few more moments as he leaned forward burying his face in his hands. Even from across the street she could see his shoulders shaking as he cried into his hands. She wanted to go over there, but she couldn't. If he wanted her to be there, this would be occurring in their apartment and not on a park bench. Watching for a few more seconds she felt a deep sadness inside of her. She had never been in a situation like this before. She had never had someone right in front of her that was so broken and so desperate but also completely unwilling to ask for help. Pulling Atlas away from the corner, she turned away. Liz didn't want him to catch her staring from across the street. If he wanted her to see this, he would have asked.

* * *

The club was packed as Bosco sank further down into his seat. He felt awful. He was exhausted, as he had spent most of the night crying his eyes out on that park bench. His eyes felt heavy and his body was weak. He was still throwing up and he hadn't eaten a real meal in probably three or four days. Liz looked across the bar at him in concern. She wanted to tell him to go home and go to bed. Undercover wasn't like that, though, there were no sick days. When the opportunities came you needed to jump, and if everything fell into place a big one was going to come tonight. She just needed him to hold on for a little bit longer.

"Liz," he purred her name as she looked up. Andre Barksdale was standing there with a very excited looking Mickey right behind him. Turning to Bosco he extended his hand, "And Bosco, right?" Bosco's spine stiffened. These people were always sneaking up on him.

"Yeah, it's good to finally talk to you." Bosco shook his hand as he forced a smile. Pulling up a stool next to them, Barksdale leaned on the bar.

"I've been talking to my man, Mickey here. Says you can make me an offer I won't refuse."

Liz nodded, trying not to appear too enthusiastic. "Mickey saw the product. It's good stuff. I think you'll be very happy."

"And your guy up there…he's straight?"

Bosco was quick to jump in, "I've known him for a lot of years, man. He's on the level. You have my word." Barksdale stared at him for a minute before he leaned back. Nodding slightly, he weighed his options. Fortunately for Bosco and Liz, greed eventually took over.

"Ok, tomorrow night. Van Cortlandt Park near the track. Say nine o'clock"

Van Cortlandt Park? She didn't like that as much as Todd's apartment but what could she do? Fortunately Mickey seemed to be thinking the same thing. "Boss, I don't know. Someone might see what we're…" Before he could finish Barksdale lifted a finger to silence him.

"Tomorrow night at Van Cortlandt Park." Obviously this wasn't up for discussion. Liz nodded although she felt apprehensive. Bosco cast a glance at her, he wasn't sure why Barksdale was so set on meeting there although he was sure it would soon become clear. Nodding to them both he got up and went back to his usual table. Mickey followed.

Bosco relaxed back into the seat. The sudden surge of adrenaline had made him nauseas as he swallowed hard. He looked horrible. Glancing at the clock it was nearly one thirty. Their business was done for the night; they could leave. "Hey, you ready to get out of here?" Bosco nodded. He was going to be sick.

"I'll meet you outside." She watched as she made a beeline for the bathroom. Grabbing her purse she briefly stopped at Barksdale's table before heading out the door. Out of nowhere a dark figure approached, as she was drug between the buildings. Checking her against the brick wall, he wrapped his hand around her throat.

"Listen to me, bitch. If you're fucking me here, I will kill you." It was Mickey. He leaned close to her in the darkness as it took everything she had to keep a straight face. Showing any kind of fear could make him think she was lying. She needed him to believe that she had nothing to be afraid of. "No one… and I mean NO ONE fucks with me or my money. You got that?"

Bosco had barely made it into the stall before the contents of his stomach were spilling out. He felt dizzy as he splashed some cold water over his face. One more day, hopefully that was all she needed from him. One more day. Bosco felt tired and weak as he walked toward the door. The sidewalk was empty outside as he wondered if he could have missed her inside somewhere. She wouldn't leave without him. Then, just as he was about to go back inside the sounds of a struggled pulled him back. Peering around the side of the building, he saw a man with his hands around someone's throat. In the dim streetlight it took him a minute to realize that it was Mickey and the woman he was choking was Liz. Unlike last time, Bosco didn't waste any time as he charged into Mickey. The sudden jolt caused him to let go of Liz as he toppled to the ground. Winding up Bosco hit him as hard as he could.

"Who the hell do you think you are? Putting your hands on her?" Standing up he kicked Mickey in the ribs as Liz finally tried to break them apart.

"Bosco, stop. Bosco!" She pulled him away. Mickey stared up at them from the concrete as blood trickled out of his nose. Shaking Liz off, Bosco bent down close to Mickey's face.

"If you ever lay a hand on her again. I'll kill you. I mean it, Mickey, I'll fucking kill you."

Brushing past Liz roughly, he started walking toward the street. "I'm out of here." She lingered there for a moment as she stared down at Mickey. Her neck hurt and she was scared but she wouldn't let him see that. Stepping back she gave him a long, hard look before running back toward the street.

Bosco rubbed his hand as he leaned against the building. Putting his arm around her shoulders, they started walking toward their apartment. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine."

"That piece of shit, if he ever touches you again. I swear to God." She could feel the anger radiating off of him as their bodies bumped against each other.

"It's ok. I'm ok." He was not deterred by her reassurance.

"Who the fuck does he think he is? I can't…" Before he could finish she stopped and turned toward him.

"Bosco…Bosco, look at me." He stopped talking for a moment although he didn't meet her eyes. Touching the side of his face, she forced him to look at her. "I'm ok. You were there, and everything's alright." The adrenaline quickly seeped out of his body as he could feel himself deflate a little. He protected her. He was there. "Ok?"

"Yeah." He nodded his head as he took a deep breath. Grabbing her hand, they started walking again.

Liz smiled a little as she watched him out of the corner of her eye. Sullivan was right; even if Bosco was barely hanging on he would do everything in his power to be there for her. She didn't want to think about what might have happened if he would have not been there.

" _He might seem nice, he might seem like you can trust him. But, listen up, that crazy bastard will snap when you least expect it. So, you know, watch you're back because if he thinks you're screwing him…."._ Jason's words echoed in her mind as she tightened her grip on Bosco's hand. They would be fine; they just needed to stay together.

* * *

_The bright white light blinded him as he stared into a group of shocked faces. He was sitting up on the bed, gun held level in a shaking hand. His clothes were cut and his body hurt more than he ever could have imagined. But he didn't care. Only one thought crossed his mind. Go to Faith._

_"Bosco! Where are you? It hurts so bad!" By this point Faith was absolutely frantic with pain and anxiety. Pushing a few people out of the way, Bosco finally made it to the bedside. A thin sheet was the only thing that covered her bleeding body as her eyes darted everywhere in search of him._

_Grabbing her hand without a second thought, Bosco leaned over the bed so that she could see him. "I'm here Faith. I'm here."_

_"Oh God…what's happening? Why does it hurt so much, Bosco?" He had no answer for her and it killed him. Bosco could only stare at her, his face wretched with guilt and sadness._

_"I'm here, Faith. I promise I won't leave." Tears sprung up in her eyes. She wasn't going to make it. She could feel it in every bone of her body. This was it._

_Sobbing loudly, Faith shook her head from side to side. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. "Oh Bosco! I'm not going to make it. I'm not." Her face was a runny mixture of tears and blood as she searched for an answer to her seemingly impossible problem._

_When Bosco heard the sincerity in her words, he started to cry. He didn't know what else to do. Rubbing his fingers across her cheek he could not find any words to make this right. He couldn't say everything was going to be ok, because at this point he honestly didn't believe it would be._

_"I'm here, Faith. I'm here."_

_Her vision was getting hazy, and this time Faith didn't think she would be coming back. "I'll miss you Bosco…" Suddenly, she was gasping for air. The room went dark as she heard a high -pitched wail_

A crack of lightening shook the windows as Bosco sat straight up in bed. He couldn't breath. Gasping for air he was in a full-blown panic. His chest felt tight as he continued to struggle. The lights flicked on overhead as Liz was in front of him.

"Bosco? Bosco? Are you alright?" She sat down on the bed next to him as he clutched his chest.

"Can't breath…" It was all he could get out. A wave of panic shot through her. Something could be seriously wrong here.

"We're going to the hospital." She was off the bed and getting dressed before the words registered in Bosco's mind. When they did he almost jumped out of his skin. The last place he wanted to go right now was the ER.

"No! NO! No hospitals." His words were short and breathless as he tried to convey his desperation. "Please…Just talk to me." Bosco sat back on the bed as he continued struggling to get any air in his lungs.

Liz stopped what she was doing. Just talk to me. In all the desperation and fear he let his guard down for a moment. Turning she walked back over and sat down next to him. This wasn't a medical crisis, it was guilt and fear and panic turned outward. Interlacing her fingers with his, she held his hand against her chest.

"You're ok. Just breath with me; nice and easy, in and out." Bosco shook his head.

"I can't…" His heart was racing as his head spun in circles.

"You can. Nice and easy." Scooting closer to him, she put her other arm around his shoulders as she leaned her head against his. "I promise I won't let anything happen to you." Bosco felt the warmth of her body next to him as her words had a soothing effect. He felt the way their fingers interlocked together and the easy rhythmic movement of her chest. Air began reentering his lungs as the muscles in his chest relaxed. Slowly his breathing returned to normal as she stayed next to him. This definitely wasn't for show. She was there because she wanted to be there. She said those things because she meant them. The feeling of her there next to him was so honest and comforting that he thought he could stay there forever. Then, just like with every other good moment in his life, reality began creeping in.

Rain pelted the windows as a clap of thunder echoed in the apartment. Getting up, he reluctantly let go of her hand as he walked to the living room. Liz sat there for a moment watching him. The walls were back up. Bosco sat down on the couch as he buried his head in his hands. He swore to himself…no…he promised himself this wouldn't happen. He couldn't' go through this again. Somewhere along the way he had developed feelings for his partner. The last thing he wanted to do was to become emotionally attached her. So he told himself that no matter how much he wanted to, he would make sure that he felt nothing when it came to Liz. What he didn't realize was that it would be impossible. She was everything that he needed at just the right time.

His eyes flicked up as he saw her emerge from the bedroom with a blanket and pillow. Sitting down on the opposite side of the couch, she made herself comfortable.

"I'm sorry." Lightening illuminated the room as they briefly made eye contact.

"It's ok." She didn't really know what else to say. The air between them had suddenly become awkward. Covering up with the blanket she made herself comfortable.

"I'm fine. You can go back to bed." Bosco didn't want her to feel obligated to stay there with him.

Liz shook her head, "I'm good." Whether he would admit it or not she knew he didn't want to be alone. Bosco didn't have the energy to argue with her, and frankly he didn't want to. Secretly, he was happy that he didn't have to spend the rest of the night by himself.

* * *

"Do you think he's straight?" Liz bit her lip as she looked out the window. She was a practiced liar but this was a little different. Callahan narrowed his eyes at her from across the table. He was expecting an answer. She couldn't tell him the truth. Even though her life was on the line, she couldn't sell out her partner. It went against everything in her nature, and everything she had been told coming up in the NYPD. No matter what, always have each other's back.

"Yeah, he'll be fine." Callahan glared at her before sitting back.

Liz looked away. Callahan had called her early this morning, and after substantial debate, she decided against waking Bosco up to go along with her. It had been a rough night and she wanted him to get as much rest as possible. He needed to be ready to go tonight. No excuses. So she let him sleep, not thinking that Callahan would suspect any sort of problem. Squirming in her seat, she tried to play his concerns off and change the subject.

"So, Barksdale wants to meet in Van Cortlandt Park." Callahan raised his eyebrows. He wasn't really done talking about Bosco. Silent for a moment, he stared at Liz. She was smart. If she said everything was ok, he would let it go. But still, he couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.

Callahan exhaled loudly, "What's wrong with Todd's apartment?"

Liz shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. I tried to point him in that direction but he wasn't taking it. It was Van Cortlandt Park, no discussion." Callahan shook his head as he let out a sigh. "He's probably paranoid; worried that he could be walking into a trap if he plays by our terms."

"Yeah, well, I'll have to get the team together and figure something out." He wasn't happy about bending to Barksdale's demands but what could they do? This might be their only opportunity.

Liz nodded, "Alright, nine o'clock." They stood up walking toward the door. Before stepping outside, Callahan touched her shoulder.

"Liz…Be careful tonight. These people are dangerous." She paused for a moment as a feeling of uneasiness came over her. Something just wasn't right. It didn't matter, though; you don't call off the bust that could make your career just because of a feeling. She was in this until the end.

Forcing a smile, she shrugged him off. "You worry too much, Boss." Callahan watched her leave the diner and walk out of sight. He hoped that she knew what she was doing.

* * *

Bosco stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. His eyes were dull and framed by dark circles as his worn sweatshirt hung loosely off his body. Pulling the faded Yankees cap down further he tried to cover his face. He looked just as horrible as he felt.

After his near meltdown, Bosco spent most the night sitting awake on the couch watching his partner sleep. He wasn't going to be able to hide this from her much longer. He had little control of his emotions, as was evident last night. Sighing, he looked down. Sooner or later they would come to a breaking point and the walls would come crashing down. For now, though, he needed to keep his head up and hold this back for one more night.

"We have to go. Are you ready?" Liz appeared in the doorway.

"Yeah." Flicking the light off he followed her out of the apartment. If tonight was indeed their last night on this operation, Bosco wondered what would happen next. Would he stay undercover? He didn't want to go back into uniform; as hard as it had been he liked being undercover. It was an entirely different world; a world that made Faith's death just a little more bearable. The RMPs, roll call, the radio, the beat; all things that reminded him of Faith. They didn't exist here, and he was eternally grateful.

Bosco also wondered if he would still be partnered with Liz once this was over. She had a lot of undercover experience and was undoubtedly a valuable resource to the department. Would they let her waste her time with him? Watching her brown hair bounce as she walked down the stairs, he felt a pang of sadness. He didn't want to work with anyone else. Bosco never thought that he would ever get close to another partner; but people can surprise you. He liked working with Liz, and he trusted her.

They walked toward the black Civic as a sudden ringing caused Bosco to freeze in his tracks. His phone. Liz turned abruptly. Bosco had been given an undercover phone when he came on with her. It was a black track phone that she was sure had been sitting on the counter when they walked out of the apartment. The phone he slid out of his pocket was a silver flip phone.

"Hello?" He didn't look at her but he could feel her eyes burning a hole into the side of his head.

" _Uncle Bosco! We need help, We're lost!"_ It was Emily. Turning away, he took a few steps away from his partner.

"What do you mean, you're lost?" Where the hell was Fred?

" _Daddy was supposed to pick me up from school but he never came, so I took the subway but I don't know where we are."_ Oh Jesus, this was not good.

"Ok, Emily. Can you look for a sign or something?" The subway can be confusing, even for a smart girl like Emily. Bosco heard so scuffling before she came back to the phone.

" _I don't know…I think it says Astoria Blvd."_ Queens, she was in Queens.

"Ok, honey, just stay there and I'll come get you, ok?"

" _Ok, hurry Uncle Bosco."_ He could hear the panic in her voice as she hung up the phone.

"What the hell was that?" Liz stood there, hands on her hips looking more than a little pissed.

He opened his mouth to say something but quickly realized that he had no argument. Sighing, his shoulders sagged. "I'm sorry."

"You've had your personal cell phone with you all this time." Her voice was a couple octaves higher than usual.

"Yes." There was no sense lying to her.

"What the hell were you thinking?"

"Look, I know you aren't going to understand this but just hear me out," he quickly continued before she could protest, "My partner… she has two young kids. Their father isn't really the most reliable, and I just promised her that I would take care of them."

Liz felt sick. He called Faith his partner; not former partner…his partner. And here she thought he was finally accepting her.

"They got on the wrong subway and they're lost in Queens somewhere…I can't…" His voice trailed off as the responsibility he felt for theses children was evident. "I can't let them down, Liz. I've already let them down too much."

Crossing her arms over her chest, she eyed him hesitantly. Her anger over the phone was irrelevant. They were at a crossroads right now. No matter what she did someone was going to lose. So, as usual, she put herself out in front of whatever horrible thing was going to happen. If she showed up to Van Cortlandt Park without Bosco, she could get made or beaten or worse yet killed. These were dangerous people, Callahan was right, and she was going to face them alone. It was a risk she was going to have to take, because the alternative was not an option. If was she going to see St. Peter tonight, the last she wanted was the lives of two innocent children on her belt.

Handing him the keys to the car, she gave him a hard look. This wasn't easy for her. "Go."

Bosco was a little surprised. "Are you sure? What about Barksdale? What about…"

"Just go, Bosco." They stood there staring at each other for a moment in silence.

Taking the keys, he looked at her seriously, "I'll meet you there."

Liz stared at him before turning and walking toward the subway. This was her decision, and there was no turning back now.

**I love reviews!**

**Above Lyrics are from BoB's ( Feat Hayley Williams) "Airplanes"**


	16. Feel so Close

" **Last Exit to Brooklyn"**

**Author:** carmen_085

**Disclaimer:** All Third Watch characters are property of NBC. All original characters belong to me

**Summary:** After a terrible tragedy changes his life, Bosco goes undercover to find redemption and justice in the most unlikely of places

**Chapter Sixteen**

" _I feel so close to you right now_

_It's a force field_

_I wear my heart upon my sleeve like a big deal"_

Bosco slowed the Honda to a stop near the Astoria Blvd subway station. He didn't see them anywhere. Putting the car in park he glanced at the dashboard clock. Eight thirty, he needed to hurry. Darting out of the car, he ran down the stairs. Jumping the turnstile, he searched the deserted platform. In the corner, two children huddle together. Running toward them, he was relieved to see Emily's familiar face.

"Uncle B!" Charlie was first to spot him as he ran toward his mother's partner. Bosco picked the young boy up as he extended his hand for Emily.

"C'mon…guys we need to get you home." He didn't ask them too many questions as they hustled up the stairs. He needed to get them home and get to Van Cortlandt Park in the next half hour.

Unfortunately New York traffic had other plans as Bosco pulled up to the Triboro Bridge. Laying on the horn he used a few choice expletives under his breath. Faith's children watched in silence from the backseat. Bosco glanced at the numbers on the dash. 8:45. He wasn't going to make it.

"Whose car is this, Uncle B?"

Bosco was silent for a moment as he looked at Charlie in the rear view mirror. "A friend of mine." To them he would always be their mommy's partner; no one else.

"My daddy says you got kicked out of the NYPD." Charlie was at the age where children say anything that comes to mind. Emily elbowed him in the ribs as Bosco heard her whisper.

"You aren't supposed to say that, Charlie."

Bosco smirked, "Well, Charlie your daddy doesn't know everything." The answer did not satisfy the boy as he looked at Bosco quizzically.

"So…you're still a cop?"

"It's complicated." That answer didn't really seem to satisfy him much either, although Charlie got the sense that this was beyond his understanding. "Where is your daddy?" Now it was Bosco's turn to ask the questions. He had been wondering where the hell Fred was since he hung up the phone with Emily. Inside he began to fear the worst.

"I don't know. I tried calling him all day. His phone is turned off." Bosco began to feel his blood boil. What was he thinking? His kids were lost in the city somewhere and he was probably kicking back a cold one somewhere. Bosco's heart thumped loudly in his chest. Traffic began to move as they crossed the bridge into Manhattan. Merging onto the FDR North, Bosco's hand shook as he jammed the gears. He was going to have a nice talk with Fred.

Bosco was so lost in his anger that he was surprised when he pulled up in front of their apartment only ten minutes later. He hadn't really been paying attention to how fast he was going. "C'mon, guys. Let's go." The green numbers on the dash showed 8:55. He had to hurry.

* * *

Liz stared at the floor of the train as her knee bounced up and down. ' _This is a Bronx bound 1 train. Next stop 238_ _th_ _street'._

The automated voice overheard caused her to become more nervous. She was almost there. Liz had a bad feeling about this. Todd was going to be there and Callahan along with his narcotics squad would be out of sight, but she couldn't shake the feeling that she was going alone. Her and Bosco had been together long enough that she had gotten used to have him there. In addition to that he was a crucial piece of the puzzle. Todd was "his guy", what were they going to think if he didn't show up to the meet with his own connection? Nothing good, she was afraid. She contemplated calling Callahan and telling him to call it off. That could ruin almost ten months of work, though, and she wasn't going to get another chance. She gave her life to this and for it all to be for nothing was too much to bear. She could handle herself. Everything would be ok.

Liz wondered where Bosco was. Did he find the kids? She really wanted to be angry with him but she couldn't. He shouldn't have kept the phone; it could have posed a risk to both of them. Ironically enough, though, the thing that bothered her the most was that he still referred to Faith as his partner. All this time they had been together, she really thought that she was making some headway; that he had started to accept her as his partner. Apparently she was wrong and it made her sad. With the Barksdale operation winding down she had been thinking about what she would do after this was over. She wasn't sure if Callahan would move her to another op or if she would go back to uniform for a while. Either way, she was planning to ask Bosco if he wanted to be her permanent partner. She had thought he would agree; now she wasn't so sure.

' _This is Van Cortlandt Park. Everyone must exit the train.'_ The doors swished open as the driver's voice echoed overhead. Getting up she took a deep breath. This was it.

The running track was a couple of blocks from the train station. Walking in the darkness, she kept a keen eye on her surroundings. For the most part, the park was deserted. Approaching the track, she saw a couple of people standing next to a black SUV. Immediately she recognized Todd and Mickey. Where was Barksdale?

Across the track in the trees, Callahan and few guys watched Liz approach alone. Where the hell was Bosco? "Son of a bitch." Taking his cell phone out, Callahan dialed Liz. This wasn't going to work; they weren't going to go for this without Bosco there.

Liz felt the phone vibrating in her back pocket. Sliding it out, she saw Callahan's number flashing on the screen. Silencing it, she put it back her in pocket. She knew what he wanted, but she didn't care. This was on her now.

Immediately upon seeing her alone, Mickey came right over. "Where's Bosco?"

Liz shook her head, trying not to be rattled by him. "He couldn't make it."

"WHAT? What the hell do you mean?" Mickey was panicked; this was his big break.

Todd raised an eyebrow as she walked over to the SUV he was leaning against. "No, Bosco?" She could tell he was just as surprised as Mickey although he didn't let it show.

"No, he had an emergency." She could see the gears begin turning in Todd's head. They needed to think on their feet and make this happen.

"Alright."

"Alright? THIS IS NOT FUCKING ALRIGHT!" Mickey pounded his fist on the hood of the car. "Mr. Barksdale is going to be here any minute. And then what?" Liz and Todd looked at each other. That was a good question.

Across the way, Callahan was almost beside himself. He watched as Mickey slammed his fist into the car. If Todd hadn't been there with Liz he would have ran right out there. This operation didn't mean shit to him if something happened to her. It wasn't worth it. Todd and Liz were both practiced under covers, hopefully they would be able to figure something out.

* * *

The building was quiet as Bosco led Emily and Charlie toward an apartment he knew very well. This was the first time he had been here since that night. It felt awkward and familiar at the same time. Raising his hand, he knocked on apartment 3C. There was some shuffling inside before the door swung open. A somewhat disheveled although clearly sober Fred answered the door.

"What the hell?" Bosco breathed a sigh of relief. His worst fear was that Fred would be drunk and that he would have to leave Emily and Charlie with him. That clearly wasn't the case, however, as the anger in Bosco's veins began to dissipate. Maybe it was all just a misunderstanding. Bosco was about to open his mouth when a woman appeared behind Fred in the doorway.

"Who is it, baby?" Bosco felt all the air rush out of his lungs as his heart skipped a beat. His stomach lurched into his throat as he blinked a few times. This couldn't be happening right now. Upon seeing the surprise on Bosco's face, Fred quickly directed the woman back into the apartment.

"It's fine. Just go back to bed." The woman disappeared from sight as Bosco suddenly felt sick. Faith had only been dead a couple of months and Fred had already moved on. "Holly, was supposed to pick you guys up and take you to her house for the night. Didn't she come to your school?"

Emily and Charlie didn't seem all that shocked or bothered by the strange woman wandering around their apartment. Emily thought for a moment, "She came, but I told her you were picking us up."

Fred shook his head frustrated. "No! You were supposed to go with her and…" Fred stopped talking. Ushering his kids into the apartment toward their bedrooms he replied, "We'll talk about this in the morning." Fred waiting until they disappeared down the hallway before stepping out into the hallway, closing the door behind him. Looking at Bosco with obvious distaste he leaned in, "What the hell are you doing here?"

Bosco was in shock. He didn't know what to say. "I…Emily called me. She said they were lost."

"Yeah…well don't think just because she called you that everything is forgiven. You're still a screw up." The shock began to wear off as Bosco felt red- hot anger return. Fred turned to walk back into the apartment.

"Hey Fred." As the man turned, Bosco wound up as far as he could. Landing a punch square in the middle of the older man's jaw he watched as Fred stumbled back into the wall. In a second, he was on top of him.

"You SON OF A BITCH! Faith's only been dead two months! HOW COULD YOU?" Bosco punched him again. Fred tried his best to fight back although his efforts were mostly in vain. "What kind of father are YOU? You're fucking some whore and you're kids are scared and lost. YOU WORTHLESS SON OF A BITCH!"

Bosco landed a few more punches before he felt someone pulling him back. One of the neighbors had managed to intervene as he shoved Bosco down the hallway. The woman had reappeared in the doorway and she helped Fred to his feet. Rubbing the side of his face his eyes fell on a Bosco. Seething with rage, he looked like a wild animal about to snap at any minute. Despite that Fred couldn't resist provoking him even more. Taking a few steps toward the younger man, he leaned in, "Oh, and just so you know, Bosco, I was fucking her while Faith was still alive."

Bosco lunged toward Fred, although the neighbor was quick to get between them. Smirking at him, Fred retreated back into his apartment, slamming the door. Bosco yelled out in anger as he turned and punched the wall.

"Now you got to get out of here before I call the cops." The neighbor gave him a stern look. "I mean it. Go! Or I'm callin' them." Balling his fists tightly he turned and walked toward the stairs. Kicking the door open, he took the stairs two at a time. He was so mad; he didn't know what to do.

* * *

Liz felt her stomach turn over as a white car with tinted windows pulled up next to them. Todd grabbed a black duffel bag out of his car as they stood there expectantly. Mickey nervously shifted his weight side to side. The rear passenger window rolled down as Barksdale's face appeared. Even though it was dark he was still wearing sunglasses. Looking over Liz, Todd, and Mickey he shook his head slightly.

"Where's Bosco?" Liz smiled widely; she needed to make this good.

"He couldn't make it, but Todd is here with the product." She hoped that her quick transition would make him forget about Bosco. Todd began unzipping the bag.

"Put it away." She could feel his paranoia. "I'm about to go into business with this man, and he sends his girl to take care of the transaction." Shaking his head, he looked away. Todd and Liz struggled to find an in that didn't make them look too eager. Barksdale let out a sigh. "Sorry, I'm not interested. Let's go." The tinted window came back up as he disappeared from view.

"No, no…Boss WAIT!" The car backed out and headed back toward Brooklyn as Mickey waved his arms, "No…WAIT!" Chasing the car out of the parking lot, he doubled over as they disappeared down the street. Slamming his fists into his thighs, it was clear that Mickey was upset. Liz had mixed emotions about the whole thing. On one hand it was good that they didn't kill her, but on the other she was pretty sure the op was ruined. Sighing she turned toward Todd.

"Shit." Shaking her head, they both came to the same realization. Their chance had come and gone.

"Get out of my fucking way." Mickey pushed past them as he jumped into the black SUV and sped out of the parking lot.

After he was gone, Todd threw the bag back into the car. "Well, that went well." He wanted to ask her where the hell Bosco was, although his keen investigative senses told him that it was probably not a good subject.

Liz sighed, ten months of her life had come down to this. Nothing. It was all for nothing. Shaking her head, she tried not to become too emotional. "Hey, you want a ride?" Todd glanced at her from the driver's seat.

"No, I'll be fine. Thanks anyway, Todd." Liz stood there for a moment as she watched him drive away. Sighing, she started walking back toward the subway station. She would undoubtedly get a call from Callahan, which would quickly be followed up by an ass reaming of epic proportions. Climbing the stairs of the platform, she swiped her metro card at the turnstile. Maybe she could fix this. It was unlikely as Barksdale was an extremely paranoid individual, although, there could still be a way.

Mickey circled the neighborhood a few times trying to find Mr. Barksdale's car. There was no sign of him, however, as he was probably half way back to Brooklyn by now. He was seething with anger as he circled the block once more. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a familiar frame climbing the stairs to the platform. Throwing the SUV into park he ran up the stairs. Jumping the turnstile his eyes landed on Liz; lost in thought and facing the opposite direction. He had warned her about this. Don't screw him, he meant it.

Liz was wracking her brain for ways to fix this whole mess. She wasn't paying attention like she should have been. She didn't even see him coming until it was too late. In a split second she was on the ground. Someone was on top of her as she felt his fist land on the side of her face. Her teeth rattled as she felt blood trickle out of her nose. Trying to break free, she wiggled from side to side. It was useless however, as he had her pinned against the ground.

"I TOLD YOU, BITCH! DON'T FUCK WITH ME OR MY MONEY!" It was Mickey, she was afraid something like this might happen. Liz rolled onto her side as she tried to shield her face from the punches. Standing up Mickey kicked her in the ribs as she felt all the air rush out of her lungs. Crawling, she tried to get away from him although her vision was hazy. Winding up, he landed another kick right in her stomach as she collapsed back onto the platform. She watched him out of one cracked eye. He walked away for a second as he ran a shaky hand through his black hair. This was her chance. Using one of the wooden benches to pull herself up, she struggled to her feet. Blood was running down her face and into her eyes as she blinked. Limping toward the stairs, he turned abruptly. Charging toward her, Liz couldn't move fast enough to get out of the way and within seconds she felt herself flying through the air. She landed with a thud on the concrete stairs as the One Train thundered overhead. Mickey was hovering over her motionless body. She couldn't move, it hurt too much although she wasn't knocked out. Keeping her eyes shut tightly she hoped that he would just leave. She lay there completely still as her heart pounded loudly. He leaned in close to her face, so close that she could feel his hot breath against her ear. "Where's your boyfriend, now? Bitch." He stood over her for a few seconds before spitting on her face. Turning he ran back down the stairs as the squeal of tires echoed against the concrete walls.

She wasn't sure how long she lay there although eventually she heard a voice standing over her as she struggled to open her eyes. "Holy shit! Someone call 911!"

* * *

Bosco glanced at the dashboard clock as he took the Van Cortlandt Park Exit. 9:55. He was too late. Stopping the car at a red light, he tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. Something wasn't right. The streets were deserted as he contemplated just blowing through the light. Suddenly, a sharp ringing pierced the silence of the car. Looking down he saw a restricted number pop up on the screen. Hesitantly he flipped it open. "Hello?"

"Where the fuck are you?" It took him a couple of seconds to realize it was Callahan on the other end.

"Why?" A sick feeling rose up in the pit of his stomach as he suddenly felt sick.

"Bring your ass to Bronx-Lebanon Hospital NOW!" The phone clicked off as Bosco sat there with it still pressed to the side of his head. Oh God. The light turned green as a chorus of horns echoed behind him. Letting the clutch out slowly, he drifted onto Broadway. Bosco hands were shaking as he mechanically changed gears. Something bad happened. He knew it. And, again, he would be completely responsible. Another partner; another partner he didn't protect.

When Bosco pulled up to Bronx-Lebanon, the Emergency room parking lot was jammed with cars as he left the Honda on the street. A cold sweat broke out all over his body as he forced his feet to move forward. The red emergency room sign cast a glow over the parking lot as people came and went. He could see the warm glow of the ER as he stood there. Doctors and nurses busily running past the doors as they rushed to care for yet another patient. Medics offloaded the dead and the dying as the clang of their stretchers echoed in his ears. An RMP was parked nearby as two cops leaned against the hood drinking coffee. And he stood there. He couldn't move. He couldn't go inside. Closing his eyes he took a deep breath. Faith's gray, lifeless body flashed in his memory. Her vacant eyes and the way her hair was matted to the side of her face. The blood in pool underneath her, and the wet sheet the haphazardly covered her naked, battered frame. He couldn't go in there. He couldn't see Liz like that too. No matter what, if anything happened to her he wouldn't be able to live with himself. Still, he held onto a sliver of hope that she had taken care of herself, yet again, and was still alive. It was all he had. Taking a shaky step forward a new image flashed through his mind. This time instead of Faith lying dead on the stretcher it was Liz. Covered with a bloody sheet, her eyes stared ahead vacantly as her long brown hair lay in a tangled bloody mess. Her hand hung over the stretcher, as he fingers were blue. Doubling over, he was shaking as he struggled to keep himself from falling apart right there in the parking lot. Pinching his eyes shut for a moment, he felt a punch land directly in the center of his gut. His knees gave way as he fell to the pavement.

"Where the FUCK were you?" It was Callahan. "I bring you over here, give you a second chance, and what…"He paused, his voice lowering a few octaves, "You were supposed to protect her."

She was dead. Any shred of hope that he held onto was gone. He was so sure that she was dead. Bosco struggled to his feet although he kept his eyes on the ground.

"I asked her if you were straight and she told me yes, but I…I had a bad feeling and now…" Tears rolled down Bosco's face. He just couldn't believe this; two months…two partners gone. He promised the he would protect them, and he failed twice. Callahan continued ranting although he didn't hear much as he looked toward the street. Again… he had screwed up.

"Leave him alone." Bosco snapped his neck around. He couldn't believe it. Liz stood behind Callahan. Her face was bruised and bloody as her arm hung loosely in a sling. Bosco stared at her. He didn't believe she was really there. He couldn't be that lucky. Callahan stopped yelling for a moment. "I told him to go. This one is on me, Boss." Bosco was in shock; first that she was alive and second that she was taking all the blame.

Callahan looked at Liz seething with anger as Bosco finally found his voice. "No, Sir, this is my fault. I should have been there and I…" Before he could finish Liz shot him a glare.

"Shut up." Bosco stopped talking. Adjusting the sling she sighed loudly, "Just take me home."

Liz started walking toward the car as Callahan called after them, "I'm glad you're taking this so well, Liz. Ten months of your life were for nothing. Barksdale's gone." Liz stopped for a moment as the realization was again thrown in her face. Without saying a word, she continued to the car. It was over; there was little doubt about that.

Bosco wanted to say something although he didn't know what that was. Starting the car, they rode in silence until she abruptly spoke, "Are the kids ok?"

"Yeah." He didn't know if he should elaborate or not although one glance at the icy expression on her face told him it was bad idea.

The car skimmed along the FDR back to Brooklyn. Staring at the passing lights, Liz sighed loudly, "You know, Bosco, I was going to ask you to be my permanent partner when this was all over." Bosco swallowed hard as he continued to listen. "I thought we would be good together…now…now I'm not so sure."

"Liz…I am so sorry. I…" Before he could continue she held up her hand.

"Just stop. It isn't about this," she gestured toward her face and arm. "It's everything, Bosco. No matter how much I put myself out there for you, you won't let me in. We've been living and working together for two months and you have told me a single thing about your life. I'm here for you, I told you that. But still, you insist on dealing with this alone."

"Liz…" His voice was raw with emotion as he continued driving. "You are my partner."

Liz shook her head, "You don't really believe that. Like earlier tonight, when you referred to Faith as still being your partner. Your heart and your mind are still with her. All I have is a body that can't feel anything. A shell."

She was right about everything. He couldn't deny that. Looking at her, he realized that this was the breaking point. If he didn't want to lose her, he would need to let her in. She had stood by and taken enough. He owed her at least this much.

Taking the exit for the Van Wyck, Bosco pointed the car toward Rockaway. "Where are we going?"

"I want to show you something." He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. Her face didn't betray a single emotion as they headed toward Queens.

* * *

The warm sea breeze blew her hair as he brought the car to a stop. Liz leaned her elbow against the open window a she watched Bosco get out of the car. Her body ached and she was tired but she sensed that this was important so she got out too. The hood of the car was delightfully warm against her sore muscles as she sat down. The stars were shining brightly as a jet took off from nearby JFK. The landing gear of the plane cast a momentary spot light on them as the ground vibrated. Liz leaned back against the windshield as she stared up at the night sky.

"My brother and I used to come here all the time." Bosco sat back on the front of the hood although he didn't make eye contact. She remained silent waiting for him to continue. "My dad, he was no picnic. When he got tired of laying into my Mom he would come find me and Mikey."

"That must have been hard." She didn't really know what else to say.

"Yeah anyway…" He paused for a moment as Liz realized it was the first thing he had ever shared with her about his life. "I met Faith at the academy. She was a couple years older than me. She was already married, had one kid at home and another on the way. I really didn't think she would make it through a single week." He snorted as a painful smile spread across Liz's face. "She made it though…even helped me get through. She was the first real friend I ever had." He paused for a moment, "We were partners for six years, and in all that time I never told her how much I loved it. I got to spend everyday with my best friend." Liz smiled, she wished that Bosco would turn around and look at her. Sighing, she reluctantly concluded that it was probably easier for him not to look at her. So she didn't move, instead she just listened to his voice as she stared up into the inky sky.

"Anyway, a few days before the accident I found out my mom's boyfriend was beating the shit out of her. So I went to his job and beat the shit out of him." Liz let a small laugh escape her lips; she could definitely see Bosco doing that. "After that I was suspended for a couple of days. When I got back, she wanted to talk to me about something. I figured she just wanted to complain about her husband or the kids. Normally, I didn't mind hearing about her family problems but we were on our way to a call and I just…I just didn't want to hear it. I was angry and I yelled at her." He paused for a moment as he took a deep breath. "I felt bad immediately after the words left my mouth…I thought there would be time to take it back. I never got the chance." It pained her to hear the emotion behind his voice. "We had a call just beyond the intersection of Lexington and the on ramp to FDR. It was one of the most dangerous intersections in the precinct and I knew it. So I slowed down or at least I thought I slowed down. I didn't even see the truck coming until it was too late."

The car vibrated as a jet roared overhead. Liz watched as the lights illuminated her partner. His shoulders were slumped as he continued staring out at the ocean. "I really, really thought I braked, Liz. I honestly have no idea how it happened. One minute we were on our way to the call, the next thing I know I was waking up in the car. I remember my head pounding as I opened my eyes. The glass was shattered and I couldn't… I couldn't move. When the truck hit on Faith's side, it smashed her up against me. As soon as I saw her, I knew…I knew it was bad. There was just so…so much blood and she could barely breath. And I could do nothing. God…" He leaned over as she heard him choke back a wave of emotion.

When Bosco started to speak again, his voice sounded strained and shaky. "When I got to the hospital they insisted on doing all kinds of bullshit. Faith was in the room next to me. I could hear her screaming my name. I just needed to go to her. They wouldn't let me up though, I fought them but they held me down. The doctor said that if I didn't cooperate he would put a tube down my throat and tie me to the bed. I had to make him understand; she needed me. So I took my back up gun out and I pointed it at the doctor. You should have seen the look on his face. He thought I was insane, and maybe he was right but I did what I had to do. When I finally got to Faith she looked bad, worse than in the car. They had cut her clothes off and she was lying there naked. Her right leg was broken and dangling from the stretcher as her face was covered with blood. There were so many people in there, I didn't know where to stand…I wanted her to see me, to know that I was there for her. Finally I found a spot near her head. She was so scared; I didn't know what to say. So I just started crying. She knew she wasn't going to make it, I think she could feel it. I didn't want to believe it, though, I couldn't believe. I couldn't hold her hand so I ran my fingers across her cheek. I told her I was there. Her last words were that she would miss me. She was dying and the last thing she said was that she would miss me…me. I was the reason she was there, lying naked on that table, and yet somewhere in her heart she was able to forgive me." He stopped talking. Liz slid down the hood of the car so that she was sitting next to him. Another bright light briefly illuminated them as she could see the tears rolling down his face. He didn't look at her, though, as he stared straight out into the darkness. Hesitantly she reached up and touched his shoulder.

"Bosco…" He still didn't look at her, instead he held up his hand.

"Please…I just…I need this get this all out. So…" Wiping his face with the back of his shirtsleeve he took a deep breath. "I'm fine…" She stayed there next to him. Eventually he started talking again.

"After Faith died, I must have passed out or something because the next thing I know I'm handcuffed to a stretcher. I thought there had been some mistake, but no…there were my friends standing right there next to me. They said the boss wanted it. That the doctor was pressing charges for aggravated assault. I was speechless. My partner was gone and now my friends had handcuffed me to the bed like some skel. I thought it was some kind of cruel joke. Then the boss came in. Told me that I could go but that things weren't over; that I would need to answer to this sooner or later. I got out of there as fast as possible. Too bad I didn't get far. I ran out of the ER and before I even made it across the parking lot Faith's husband, Fred decided it was his turn. He almost strangled me right there in the ambulance bay of Angel of Mercy Hospital, and you want to know the funny thing? I didn't even care. I just laid there and took it. He could have killed me and I wouldn't have cared one bit. I was numb. I didn't feel any of it." Bosco shrugged as he stared straight ahead. The lights of another jet illuminated their faces Liz saw the far away look in his eyes. He was back there right now, in that night, reliving every painful second.

"When I got home, I just felt so angry, I didn't know what to do with myself. I was just in a rage of emotion; I broke everything in sight. It didn't help, though; I only had one thought on my mind. It should have been me and not Faith. I didn't deserve to be here. I should be dead not her." Bosco paused; shaking his head he covered his face with his hands. "Liz, what I am about to tell you is something that no one else in this world knows. It's something that I'm not proud of, but it happened." He paused again as she put a hand on his arm.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." Bosco shook his head.

"No, I want you to know." It took him a little while, as it appeared he was struggling to find the right words. There were no good words for this, though, as he just blurted out the first thing on his mind. "I took my gun and went into the bathroom. I have never felt so hopeless or so lost in my entire life as I did in that moment. It was a place of complete and total despair. I really thought that there was no other way. So, I got into the bath tub and I held the gun…" He took a couple of deep breaths as he struggled to keep his emotions in check. "I held the gun up to my head." He paused to let the weight of his words sink in. "You know, if I close my eyes, I can still feel the cold metal of the barrel against my temple." Liz had to look away. She had no idea. He had been through so much more than she ever could have imagined. "I was ready to do it. I had my finger on the trigger. And then, out of nowhere, someone was knocking at my door. I jumped out of the tub. I couldn't believe how close I had been to killing myself. Seconds…that was it; the only thing that stood between life and death. Can you believe it?" Bosco looked at her. Liz stared back at him wide eyed. She opened her mouth but nothing came out. She was speechless. Bosco looked at the ocean. As he thought about just how close he really came to death that night. "The person knocking at my door was my partner's eleven year old daughter. She saved my life. If she hadn't been there, there is no question in my mind that I would be dead right now. Because I was ready...I was ready to die."

Bosco smiled a sad smile as he looked down at the ground. "Faith always had this way of saving me from myself. I know it's going to sound strange but I think she sent Emily that night. She couldn't be there, so she sent the next best thing." Liz smiled a little. She believed in God and in the fact that there are things in this world you can't understand. So she didn't think it sounded strange at all.

"Emily…she was upset that Fred told her Faith was dead. She didn't believe him; she couldn't believe him. Because in her mind, I would never let anything happen to her mommy. When I looked at her that night, I have never felt so guilty or so responsible for anything in my entire life. Telling her that I didn't keep my promise was like losing Faith all over again." He was silent for a minute. "Later that night I took her back to Fred. After that I just had this feeling like I needed to get away. Go somewhere…anywhere. I came here, and I laid on the beach. It was cold, probably thirty or forty degrees but I didn't care. I was just so mad and so upset I screamed and I cried. I cursed God and myself for letting it happen. I let out every single emotion I had been holding in, and you know what? When it was all over, I didn't feel any better. No matter how much I screamed or cried or yelled, Faith was never coming back. She was gone."

Liz realized that anything she said would never be sufficient to make this better. So she just listened and hoped that was all he needed her to do. "In the days afterward, I didn't really do much of anything. I slept and I drank. I shut my phone off. There was no one I wanted to talk to. Eventually I came to the realization that without the job my life didn't have much meaning. If I wasn't a cop…I was nothing." His words made her feel a little awkward. She had often thought the same thing about herself although she had never actually been faced with the brutal realization. "I felt trapped in my apartment. I needed to get out. I didn't really know where I was going but somehow I ended up in Brooklyn with my brother. We were in this dive bar drinking bad whiskey and he didn't say anything about Faith. Either he didn't know or he didn't know what to say. Regardless I wanted him to say something…anything. I needed to hear someone say that it would be ok. That it wasn't my fault. That they were sorry…anything. It never happened though. If it had, I probably wouldn't have found myself bent over the sink doing a line of coke twenty minutes later." Bosco paused as he cast a hesitant glance toward Liz. He wasn't sure what he would find although he visibly relaxed when he saw the same concerned look that had been there before. Shrugging her shoulders she gave him a half smile.

"We all make mistakes."

Bosco exhaled loudly, "Yeah, well, after I did it, I knew it was a bad idea. I felt good, don't get me wrong, but it was against everything I stood for. When we came out of the bathroom, there was this huge commotion. The NYPD was raiding the bar. I was scared. I'm not going to lie. I froze. What do you do? I mean, usually I'm the one raiding the bar, not the one running. Mikey and JC knew exactly what to do, though, and before I could think about it, they were pushing me toward the back door. Only on the other side of the door were four or five angry looking cops."

Liz raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Shit."

Bosco nodded, "Yeah. I thought that it was it. I'm going to jail, my career is over, and this is the end. Turns out, jail was the last thing on their mind. We got a beating and a shakedown. They took our wallets and the rest of the cocaine JC had on him. I was shocked, I have never stolen a single dime in my entire career, and here were these guys taking anything they could get their hands on. But you know what bothered me the most? That they thought I was just some strung out addict. That they didn't know I was one of them; their brother."

Bosco crossed his arms over his chest as he shook his head in disbelief. "I guess it was good they didn't know. I don't even want to know what would have happened then. The next day was the funeral. I didn't want to go, but I knew her kids would be disappointed. I sat there, hoping that I could just get through it. Just make it a couple of hours. Then Fred got up to speak. I wasn't really paying attention until I heard my name and everyone was staring at me. He wanted me to speak, say something about Faith. Honestly, Liz, there are a million things I could have said about Faith but when I got up there and I saw the casket, nothing came out. I was going to lose it right there, I mean really lose it. And then I see these two guys in suits coming up to the podium. IAB. IAB was there to arrest me in the middle of my partner's funeral. In front of everyone, they put me in handcuffs. I…"

Before he could continue Liz jumped off the hood of the car. "Are you fucking serious? They can't do that!" He smiled a little to see how angry she was.

"Well they did it. I wanted to fight them, tell them this was ridiculous, but as soon as I saw the scared, confused look on Emily and Charlie's faces I knew I couldn't. It wasn't the place."

"I don't care, Bosco! What you might have done was wrong, but those bastards just can't come snatch you up in the middle of your partner's funeral! That's outrageous!" As he watched her rant and rave, it made him feel good to see her have such a strong reaction. It meant she cared.

"Liz. It's over. It happened."

Sitting back down on the hood she sulked a little, "That doesn't make it right."

Bosco shook his head, "No, it doesn't. Anyway, I thought they were going to take me to the office. Get a statement. They took me straight to Riker's in my dress blues. Still, even as I marched through the front gates, I thought they would at least try to look out for me. Put me in a private area until everything was sorted out. Something… The guard had some kind of hard on for me because he took every step possible to make sure I got my ass beat. After dragging me past the holding cell in my uniform, he strip-searched me like every other skel. It was demoralizing, and frightening, and I'm sad to say that by that time I was almost used to it. I had been treated like nothing but a perp since Faith died, so why would they stop now? They threw me in the holding cell and needless to say I got my ass beat. The guard was pissed; I was causing a lot of problems. When he took me out of the cell I was actually happy. I thought he was going to help me."

Bosco turned away so that she wouldn't see his face. Blinking his eyes, it was no use. He couldn't stop the tears from rolling down his face. When he started talking again, she could barely hear him, "They put me in solitary confinement. The room was small, and dark. I…ah…" He stopped. She scooted closer so that there was no space between them. "It was so dark and I didn't know what was going on. I didn't know if they were going to leave me there or what. I just…I panicked. I couldn't breath; my heart was racing. I thought I was going to die. I was screaming for someone to come let me out. No one came. I noticed there was a sliver of white light coming from under the door. I laid down on the floor and I just prayed. I prayed that someone would come. That I would get out of there." Then there was Faith. He really, really believed that Faith was there with him. That she saved him. He wanted to tell Liz everything but he also wanted to save something for himself, something that was all his own. A piece of Faith that only he had.

Bosco continued. "I don't know how long I laid there. It was a while, though. Then out of nowhere the door opened. A different guard was there, he told me I was being released. I didn't believe him at first, I thought it was another cruel trick; that they were going to do something else to me. When he opened the door and I saw you, my first thought was why such a pretty girl was picking up someone from Riker's." Liz laughed a little. "And then I realized you were there for me…."

Liz blinked a few times as she looked at him. Tears had sprung up in her own eyes as she heard the raw emotion behind his voice. "That's it. You wanted to know about me, well there it is. There isn't anything else I can tell you except thank you." For the first time their eyes met. "Thank you. If you hadn't taken a chance on me, I don't know where I'd be right now." He abruptly looked back down at his shoes, a little embarrassed. "I understand if you don't want anything to do with me. But on the off chance you do, I just want you to know that I would love to be your partner. That's it."

A plane roared overhead as Liz saw Bosco's tear stained face in the momentary flash of light. Slipping the sling off, she stood up so that she was facing him. Hesitantly, she put her arms around him. She felt warm against him as he felt himself truly relax for the first time in months. Leaning into her, his walls began crumbling. He felt her lips against his ear as she quietly whispered the words he had been waiting a lifetime to hear.

"It wasn't your fault." A wave of uncontrollable emotion came over him. Sobbing into her shoulder he let everything go. As every horrible memory came pouring out him, Bosco felt the pieces of his old life coming back together. In all his life he had never felt so close to another human being as he did in that moment.

**Lyrics are from Calvin Harris "Feel So Close"**

**Reviews !**

**Never fear Sully Fans, Sully action will be back in full force next chapter. I just had to get some things out of the way for Bosco so that he and Liz can join in!**


	17. Shadow Days

" **Last Exit to Brooklyn"**

**Author:** carmen_085

**Disclaimer:** All Third Watch characters are property of NBC. All original characters belong to me

**Summary:** After a terrible tragedy changes his life, Bosco goes undercover to find redemption and justice in the most unlikely of places

**Authors Note: This is a long one! I was going to split it into two chapters but couldn't really find a good place to do that. I hope everyone enjoys!**

**Chapter Seventeen**

' _I'm a good man with a good heart_

_Had a tough time, got a rough start_

_But I finally learned to let it go_

_Now I'm right here and I'm right now_

_And I'm open, knowing somehow_

_My shadow days are over'_

Liz stared out the window as the lights of Brooklyn reflected off the marshes. It was almost three am and the Long Island Expressway was nearly deserted. Out of the corner of her eye she watched Bosco drive. Something was different about him. The tension in his face was gone as the corners of his mouth turned upward in a relaxed smile. All this time the one thing he feared most was that she wouldn't accept him; that she would blame him for what happened. That, like everyone else, she would walk away. But she didn't because despite all the trouble he had caused her; something about him drew her in from the very beginning. A person whose life had been shattered in everyway possible; someone who was almost broken beyond repair, and someone who couldn't let himself give up. Whether he knew it or not, Bosco had locked her in that first night. Despite the fighting and the arguments, she couldn't have walked away even if she wanted to.

Bosco guided the car through the streets of Brooklyn as his mind was still back in Rockaway. It felt so good to have her there next to him; he thought that he could stay that way forever. After months of being alone in a world of pain, just having someone there to listen was enough. The physical contact, her arms around him, nearly sent him over the moon. He had ached for months for someone to put their arms around him and say that everything would be ok. That it wasn't his fault. That they wouldn't leave. Without even knowing it, she had given him everything he had been searching for and more.

Bosco's heart dropped as he pulled up in front of their building. He didn't want the moment to end. The feeling of closeness was intoxicating. Stiffly Liz slid out of the car. They hadn't spoken a word since they left the beach. Really, there was nothing left to say. Cradling her arm in the sling, Liz waited as Bosco opened the door. Their apartment was dark as she flicked on the light switch. Out of the bedroom Atlas padded across the carpet. They had been gone a long time and the dog was no doubt in serious need of a visit to the bathroom. Looking at the German Shepherd Liz had no energy left as she hoped that Bosco would save the day.

"You want to go for a walk, Atlas?" Letting out a sigh of relief she silently walked toward the bathroom. Liz hadn't seen herself yet, and even she was little shocked to see the bruises over her face and neck. Her long hair was knotted and matted with dried blood against the side of her face as her torn shirt hung loosely over her body. She didn't notice Bosco's standing behind her looking at her in the mirror. His fingers nervously played with Atlas's leash, as a look a pure guilt crossed his features.

When he spoke his voice was barely above a whisper. "I wish it was me instead of you." Looking at him through the mirror she nodded.

"I know." Turning she offered him a little smile. "It's ok." It wasn't ok. Not to Bosco, anyway. Sooner or later he would find Mickey and even if it was the last thing he did, Mickey was going to get a beating he would remember. For now, he offered Liz a small, although clearly guilty nod before walking out the door with Atlas. Even though it had led to a major breakthrough between the two of them, Bosco would never forgive himself for what happened to her. He couldn't believe how close he had come to losing another partner.

The hot water of the shower felt good against her tired muscles. Her face burned where it was cut, as the tub was stained red from the dried blood running down her body. So much had happened tonight that her brain was still trying to process everything. Turning the water off she stepped out onto the carpet. Even clean she didn't look much better. Sighing she reasoned that it could always be worse- she could be in the hospital or even the morgue. She heard the door open as Bosco and Atlas returned.

Brushing her wet hair, Liz's mind involuntarily wandered back to Rockaway Beach. She liked feeling Bosco next to her. She liked feeling like she meant something to him and that he was willing to let her in. More than that, though, she liked that he trusted her enough to lay himself completely bare in front of her. She didn't think that she had ever felt so intensely connected to another person in her entire life. And just like Bosco she didn't want that feeling to end.

Shutting off the bathroom light, she stepped out into the dark apartment. Quietly finding her way over to the bed, she collapsed into the sheets. Her eyes eventually adjusted to the dim streetlight as she stared up at the ceiling. Feeling that emotional connection with him was intoxicating and she couldn't stop thinking about it.

"Bosco?" Maybe he was asleep.

"Yeah?" Sitting up, she pushed herself out of bed as she walked toward him. Careful to step over Atlas she sat on the edge of his bed. Turning over she could see his eyes in the dim light taking in her appearance; shorts, t-shirt, battered face, and wet hair. It was suddenly awkward she didn't know what to say without sounding corny. Taking a deep breath she got right to the point.

"Do you mind if I stay here tonight?" It didn't sound good but it was what she wanted.

Exhaling deeply, she felt him brush his hand against her bare thigh. "Honestly, I would love that but I….I don't want anything to get complicated between us. I…" Before he could finish she stopped him.

"I know what you mean. I just really loved feeling close to you tonight and I didn't want it to end and…" She trailed off. Good thing it was dark because she could feel her cheeks burning red.

Bosco smiled at her. She really was one of the most honest people he had ever met. Liz never had any trouble saying exactly what was on her mind. Without saying a word, he moved over in the bed so that she could lie down next to him. For a split second she wondered if this was mistake or if she should go back to her own bed. Then, without thinking she tentatively laid down next to him. The bed was small as their bodies were instantly pressed against each other. Laying her head down against his shoulder, she felt him wrap his arms around her. Closing her eyes she rested her hand against his chest.

Next to him, she was warm and soft and his body tingled every place that she touched him. Turning his head, he inhaled the sweet smell of her wet hair as he allowed his eyes to drift shut. For the first time in a long time, Bosco felt content. With his partner next to him, he fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.

* * *

Rubbing his eyes, John Sullivan leaned his elbows on the kitchen table. In front of him was a mess of papers that he had been over a thousand times. The accident report; it held no proof but enough suspicion to keep him guessing. The best accident reconstruction team in the NYPD had been dispatched to investigate the crash and they had come to two basic conclusions. Bosco had braked and the vehicle sustained a significant impact from behind. Why these findings were never further investigated was beyond him.

Then there was Bosco's statement to IAB. Initially he told them that he braked. He braked. Then somehow, some way those IAB rats found a way to twist his words and take the grief and responsibility he was feeling and turn it into something they could use. Something that made the story fit the way they wanted it to. On the other hand, Brian Jackson had no trouble giving a well-choreographed version of events that matched Scott Geidel's almost word for word. It was more than clear to Sully that they had obviously spent a considerable amount of time getting their stories straight.

And there was the hooker. According to the database Lysette Jones was nineteen with two priors for prostitution and an otherwise clean record. In a sworn statement to Detective Jeff Rheam of the Bronx Vice Squad, Jones stated that an unnamed man who identified himself as a police officer stated that he and his partner killed a 'drug dealer' and another cop saw them do it. Then they killed her. Sully's eyes focused on one sentence, _'He said his partner made it look like an accident but that they killed her and that was for sure.'._

Running a hand through his hair, Sully had all the pieces but he couldn't make them fit. It was all hearsay. There were no eyewitnesses and there was no proof. His theory was circumstantial at best and he knew he would need much more to bring down two cops. He needed to talk to someone who was there. That didn't leave him many options. Faith was dead, Bosco was gone, and he could forget about Jackson and Geidel. Staring at the papers Sully took a long sip of beer. The driver of the truck. He hadn't even thought about it before. Sifting through the papers he found the information he was looking for. In the IAB report a meager two sentences were devoted to the only impartial eyewitness in the whole situation. It read: _'Detective Barlow spoke with Driver George Ramirez at his home in Queens. Ramirez states that he agrees with Officer Jackson's account and has nothing further to add.'_ That seemed a little too convenient for Sully's liking. Flipping to the back of the report, he copied down the address for Ramirez.

* * *

Scott Geidel laid on his couch staring blankly at the TV. The guilt was eating him alive. He thought of nothing other than Yokas, the faces of her children at the funeral, and the wild, wounded look in Bosco's eyes. He had caused all that. He could have stopped Jackson, stood up to him for once, but he didn't. He couldn't; because truthfully he was no better.

A loud knock at the door caused him to jump. Only one person would be knocking at his door like that at this time of night. Reluctantly, he got up and opened the door. In strode Brian Jackson without so much as a hello.

"Finally! I thought you were going to leave me standing out there all night!" Geidel's shoulders slumped as he closed the door.

"What do you want, Brian?"

Jackson looked at him a little incredulously before getting right to the point. "A couple nights ago I trailed Sullivan..." Before Jackson could finish his partner cut in.

"What? Now you're after Sullivan? This shit has to stop." When Geidel agreed to get into business with his partner, he had underestimated just how paranoid Jackson could get.

"Would you listen for a goddamned minute? Something's going on…" Geidel shook his head as he sat down at the table. This was such bullshit. Where would they stop? What would be enough to satisfy his partner? Staring straight ahead, he waited for Jackson to continue although he had to admit that he was only half listening. While still regarding his partner with a scowl Jackson continued, "I followed him and Davis to Hunts Point Avenue and they picked up some broad." The blood in Geidel's veins ran cold as he listened to the words come out of his partner's mouth. There was no way they could know.

"I thought it was a little weird because Davis was with him, but hey maybe they like it that way… I don't know." Scott hoped that Brian didn't notice the panicked look on his face. "Anyway, the weird part was that they seemed to be looking for one specific hooker and then when they found her she was only in the car a couple of minutes before she bolted. Davis chased her down the street! I mean, what the hell? They all got the same parts. I just couldn't figure out why they were so hot for this one hooker."

Directing his gaze toward Geidel, Jackson immediately recognized the struck look on his partner's face as fear. He didn't like this. "Do you know anything about this?"

Geidel shook his head slowly although he resisted making eye contact. "I asked you if you knew anything about this!" He was yelling, as Geidel remained silent. Jackson got up so that he was standing over his partner, leaning down on the table so that he was hovering over him his voice came out low and menacing. "You need to tell me what the fuck you did so that I can fix it before we get jammed up!"

Scott sat there. His breathing picked up as he refused to meet his partner's gaze. Jackson pushed back from the table; he already knew the answer. This needed to be dealt with right now. "Let's go."

He turned and walked out of the apartment. Starting the car he waited for Geidel to emerge form the building. He would come; he had no choice. Jackson called the shots and when he said something needed to be done, they did it. A few minutes passed and just as predicted Scott emerged from the building. Wearing a black shirt and a hat pulled down over his eyes, he quickly slid into the car. Jackson hit the gas without a word.

The problem about a place like New York is that there isn't any privacy. When you have business to handle, it's hard to find a place to do that in complete anonymity. Someone is always watching or listening. Cutting across the east side, Jackson slowed the car in an abandoned parking lot near the East River. Getting out he walked across the grass until he was at the edge of a rocky embankment that led down to the water. Across the water Queens and La Guardia airport glowed in the hot night sky.

Geidel slowly walked up behind him. For a second he wondered if he had it in him to push his partner into the East River. Over the rocks and right into the river, it wouldn't be that hard. Shaking his head, he quickly dismissed the thought. As he approached he heard his partner's voice low and threatening. "You ARE going to tell me what you did before we leave here."

Shoving his hands into his pockets, Geidel hung his head. When he finally did speak his voice came out as a whisper. "I was lonely and I felt guilty. I needed someone to talk to."

Spinning around, Jackson couldn't believe his ears. "What are you? Some kind of pussy?"

Looking away Geidel shook his head, "It was some hooker, Brian. I didn't use any names. Come on, what's the big deal?"

Jackson was about to explode, "The big FUCKING deal is that she told somebody who told somebody who told goddamned Sullivan and now he has a living person to tie us to this whole mess! What the FUCK !" Geidel stood his ground, anger beginning to bubble up.

"You know I never wanted to do this! This was all your idea. I just went along with it because we were partners!"

Jackson got up in his face, "No, you went along with it because you were greedy just like me. You wanted the money, don't lie." It really hadn't been about the money for Geidel; sure he took it but he was there to back up his partner. A switch flipped inside of him as he wound up, hitting Jackson as hard as he could.

Stumbling back a few steps, Jackson leaned over as he tried to catch his breath. "Is that it?" He was taunting Geidel out of pure disgust. He only asked him to do one thing and that was to keep his mouth shut. Now he comes to find out that not only did he fail miserably, he did it out of loneliness and guilt. It made him sick.

Geidel saw red as he charged at his partner. The two of them hit the ground hard as he wasted no time punched Jackson square in the jaw. "This is all your fault! I didn't want to do any of it!"

Jackson was a little bigger than his partner and had only moderate difficulty pushing Geidel back. Throwing his partner back into the dirt, Jackson scrambled to his feet as he wound up, punching Scott directly in the gut. "You came along because you wanted to! Don't lie to yourself, Scott!" Blood was running out of Geidel's nose as he lay on the ground. A sick smile spread across his face as he started laughing. Standing up Jackson brushed off his pants.

"What would you do if I went to IAB and blew the cover off this shit?" Pushing himself up, Scott stood there with a smug defiant look on his face.

Jackson looked at him for a moment before shaking his head vehemently, "You wouldn't do that."

Smiling back at his partner, Geidel nodded his head, "I don't care anymore, Brian. I can't live with this for the rest of my life. If I go down, go to prison; it would all be worth it just to take you with me."

In a flash the smile on his face was gone as Jackson pushed him roughly up against a rusted cyclone fence. Grabbing Scott around the throat, Jackson was a little surprised that he didn't struggled. Instead, Geidel stood there defiantly not gasping for air or moving an inch. Blood trickled down his nose and onto Jackson's hand.

"Listen to me you piece of shit. You might think you can do something about this but you can't. You hear me, you can't. If you go to IAB I swear to God. I will find Tommy and Christina." The color drained out of Scott's face. He didn't think that his partner would go that far. Christina was Geidel's ex-wife that he still loved immensely. The divorce was her doing; she couldn't stand the life. Tommy was Geidel's eight year old son who he also adored. He saw him on weekends and some holidays but it was never enough. His personal life was completely off limits to those at work, he never talked about them not even to his partner. Jackson leaned closer as he whispered into his partner's ear. "God help me Scott. If you go to IAB I will fuck your ex-wife and I'll kill your kid, and I will do it messy. Do you hear me?" Geidel felt his heart cold in his chest. He might not have cared what happened to him but he would rather die than know that he caused some kind of pain to Tommy or Christina. He wanted to fight back, tell Jackson to go to hell, but really what would that do? The man was deranged beyond anything he could have imagined. His chance to do the right thing had come and gone a long time ago.

Jackson stepped back from the fence seeing the struck look on his partner's face and feeling a sick sense of accomplishment. He knew exactly what buttons to push to keep him quiet. Wiping the blood off his hand with a sneer, Jackson walked back to the car. Starting the engine, he waited for Geidel. He knew he would come; he had no choice.

* * *

Looking down at the piece of paper in his hand, Sully looked back up to make sure the address matched. 22 47th Road was nothing to write home about. The red brick building looked like it had seen better days. A navy blue awning that was missing a few planks covered the dented steel door. Air conditioners hung haphazardly in the steel barred windows as a neat row of trash cans were kept behind a small fence. Stepping closer, Sully scanned the names on the box. George Ramirez was in 2B. Hitting the buzzer he anxiously waited for a response. Nothing. Again he hit the buzzer. Stepping back he looked up to see if anyone was peering down at him from the windows above. They were empty. Sighing Sully turned to leave when a voice came from the box next to the door.

"What do you want?" Quickly he hustled back over the buzzer.

"Is this George Ramirez?"

"Yeah. What do you want?"

"NYPD. I got a couple questions for you." Sully wished that Ramirez would just come to the door.

"Questions about what?" The accident was a couple a months ago, he might not remember.

"You were in an accident a couple of months ago. I'm just doing a follow up, and need a little more information." Sully was lying through his teeth. He hoped that no one called the precinct about his extracurricular activities.

"I already told those other cops everything I know. I ain't got nothing else to say. Bye." The speaker clicked off as Sully stood there grappling for next move.

Pushing the buzzer quickly, he leaned in a little trying not to sound too eager. "Mr. Ramirez. I promise I won't take too much of your time. I just…I'm not really here officially. It's kind of off the record." There was no response as Sully leaned against the doorframe. Well this went worse than he thought it would. Turning he started walking down the stairs Suddenly behind him he heard a door open.

"Hey man, what you want to talk about?" George Ramirez was younger than Sully would have thought. Not older than thirty he stood in the doorway wearing a white t-shirt and black gym shorts. Although his manner was standoffish his face displayed a look of genuine concern.

"I was wondering if I could come in and ask you a couple questions." Ramirez appeared to be considered it for a minute or two before finally motioning for Sully to come in. Relief washed over the older man as he followed Ramirez up the stairs to a small but generally clean apartment. Sitting down on the couch, Ramirez gestured for Sully to have a seat across from him. Sully wasted no time getting to the point, "Look, Mr. Ramirez, I know you already gave your version of events to the detectives and we are in no way investigating you. I just need to confirm what you saw that day."

Ramirez shrugged a smirk coming to his face. "Like I told the other cops. It happened so fast…I heard the sirens but I didn't see anything until it was too late. One minute I'm going through the intersection, the next there's a white car in front of me. I didn't have time to think let alone stop. I hit my head on the steering wheel, the next thing I remember is somebody getting me out of the truck." He paused for a moment. "That's about it."

Sully stared at him. It was clear that the man was holding back. "That's all?"

Ramirez stopped for a moment clearly contemplating his words, "Yeah."

Sully sat back in the chair looking around the room. There were pictures everywhere of two little girls. Smiling faces, they looked exactly like the man sitting on the couch. Turning back toward Ramirez, Sully spoke frankly. "Listen, George, the reason I'm here is because I've been looking into this accident and I don't think it happened the way that they say. I think something else happened but I don't have any proof." Sully noted the sudden change in Ramirez's posture as he visibly tensed on the couch, "I think a cop, a friend of mine, was killed by another cop; someone who works in my precinct. Faith Yokas, that was her name. She had two kids… about the same age the ones on your wall. They have to live the rest of their lives without a mother, George. Don't you think they want some answers? Maybe see the people who did this in jail where they belong?" Sully was laying it on pretty thick. Watching he was pleased as Ramirez nervously fiddled with the hem of his pants. He was getting to him. "Her partner, well he quit the force; can't even bear to think about being a cop without her. He was driving so he's taking the fall for all of this, but we both know it wasn't his fault, was it?"

Ramirez suddenly stood up. "I think you should go."

Sully sat there for a moment staring at the younger man. There was no use pressing him any further; the last thing he needed was a beat for harassment in his jacket. Standing up, he placed one of his cards on the table before walking out. "If you think of anything else, please call me." Ramirez stared at the floor as Sully walked out the door and down the stairs. He was definitely holding something back; there was no doubt about that.

* * *

Bosco rocked back in his chair as he watched the sun go down. The warm summer breeze felt amazing on his face as he closed his eyes. The roof was deserted, as he was thankful for a few moments of peace on an otherwise very eventful day. A small smile came to his face as he thought about last night. He never thought it could feel so freeing and so amazing to let someone in. For the first time in months he felt like he could really relax and be just be himself. No more walls, no more guards, no more fighting. At first he thought he would feel embarrassed and that he wouldn't be able to look her in the eye again. It was just the opposite though, he felt better, stronger now that she knew. Maybe it only worked out that way when it was the right person. Liz was definitely the right person. Never in a million years did he think that something so horrible as Faith death could lead him to something so wonderful. After what he did there was no reason why he should have someone like her beside him. He felt incredibly lucky; like someone had been looking out for him all along.

His smile faded as his thoughts shifted to Callahan. To say that the man was pissed would have been understatement. He was furious. First at him for leaving Liz alone and compromising the entire operation; second at Liz for thinking she could take care of things by herself. They both received a tongue-lashing but ultimately, Callahan couldn't bring himself to take any further action. As much as it killed him, he understood that Bosco had been placed in a tough spot and did what he had to do. He had been working with Liz for a while and he was decidedly harder on her. She was the lead on this; it was up to her to make the calls. She knew better but as usual she thought she could take care of things. Usually it worked out, this time it didn't. Bosco wasn't sure if Callahan was more upset that she had screwed the operation or that she had almost gotten herself killed. The way that Callahan was looking at her, he thought that latter to be more true.

They fumbled the ball on the one-yard line and now needed to figure out a different way inside. Both Callahan and Liz were pretty sure that the operation was done and that Barksdale had gotten away. For now, they would let things settle, stay out of sight and see what happened next. Maybe they would get lucky.

Honestly, Bosco didn't give a shit about the operation right now. He wanted revenge on Mickey and he wanted it bad. Whether undercover or not, a man cannot let another man beat on his girl and get away with it. A dusky darkness had settled over Brooklyn as Bosco let the chair slam to the ground. He was going to find that little prick Mickey and take care of business once and for all.

The apartment was dark as he tried to slip inside without making a sound. On the couch Liz rolled over, eyeing him suspiciously. "What are you doing?"

Dammit. She was too sharp. Swallowing hard he stepped out of the shadows, "I'm going out."

Confused she looked at him, "Out where?"

"Don't worry about it." He didn't want to lie to her but he also couldn't come straight out and tell her what he was about to do.

Pushing herself up on the couch, Liz struggled against the unbelievable soreness. "Bosco…"

Heading toward the door, he pulled a Yankees hat down over his eyes, "I'll be back later."

"Bosco!" The door was closing although she saw him pause. "Don't do anything you'll regret." There was silence as he closed the door without saying a word. Collapsing back onto the couch Liz exhaled loudly. She knew exactly what he was about to do. Briefly, she contemplated getting her gun out of the lock box in the bedroom closet and going after him. Then just as quickly as the thought had come, she dismissed it. She knew Bosco needed to handle this for himself. Undercover girlfriend, partner; she was both to him and no man would ever be able to stand by and watch his woman take a beating at the hands of another man. Pinching her eyes shut it was hard for her to sit by and let him go. She just hoped that he knew what he was doing.

Bosco walked down the street with purpose. For the first few blocks he kept looking over his shoulder half expecting Liz to be there. Inside he was satisfied that she was going to step back and let him do what needed to be done. In this world a man would rather be respected than loved. It is more deeply engrained in their psyche than anything else. After tonight, Bosco was fairly certain that they would respect him.

The club was crowded as a thick layer of smoke hung low in the cramped space. Pulling the cap down over his eyes, Bosco tried not to attract too much attention. Elbowing his way through the mass of people, he became aware that a few people were staring at him. The deal between Liz, Mickey, Barksdale and himself had not been common knowledge around the club and he wondered how many people knew Mickey gave his partner the beating of her life. Scanning the crowd, he finally found what he was looking for.

Standing by the bar, Mickey was smiling and laughing as he entertained a group of women. Bosco felt anger begin to boil in his veins. Pushing his way through the crowd he managed to step up behind Mickey undetected.

"Hey Mickey! We need to talk." Spinning around, Mickey couldn't hide his surprise. Eyeing Bosco carefully he appeared to contemplate his options before turning back around.

"No we don't." Bosco had half hoped to be able to handle this with a little discretion, maybe take it out into the alley. That thought went out the window quickly, however, as white-hot anger spilled over.

"Oh hey Mickey." The man turned his face slightly as Bosco wound up as far as he could. The pop that his fist made against Mickey's face was both delightful and painful at the same time. The women standing around him scattered as a small crowd turned to watch. Not letting up for a minute, Bosco landed a blow to the gut that caused Mickey to double over in pain. The thumping music cut out and soon the only thing Bosco heard was the pounding of his own heart.

Mickey crumpled into a heap on the floor, bleeding from the nose. Standing over him Bosco looked down in disgust. Out of the corner of his eye Bosco saw one of Barksdale's people coming over. The large man casually looked between Bosco and Mickey before asking, "Do we have a problem here?"

Shaking his head, Bosco sneered at the man on the ground. "No, there's no problem." Bosco turned to leave. "Hey Bosco I just got one question for you." He stopped but didn't turn around. "Yeah…I just want to know what kind of pussy sends his bitch to take care of business for him."

That was it. Something inside of him snapped wide open as he turned in one fluid motion. In the blink of an eye he was on top of Mickey pummeling him with his fists. Mickey wasn't going to take this laying down, though as Bosco felt him rear up from underneath as his knee landed squarely in Bosco's stomach. The air whooshed out of Bosco's lungs as he felt himself toppling backwards onto the cement floor. Blinking his eyes, he became aware of the ring of faces staring down at him. The large man that came over earlier was standing there making no attempt to intervene. Maybe it was too entertaining to stop. Maybe no one gave a shit about Bosco. Or maybe Mickey wasn't as popular as he made himself out to be. Either way, Bosco felt his teeth rattle as Mickey landed a punch on the side of his face. On top of him, the other man had finally gained the upper hand. Bosco felt dizzy as Mickey slammed his head against the concrete. Blood trickled down the side of his face and around the angle of his jaw. This wasn't exactly going as he had planned.

An image of Liz flashed through his mind as he blinked a few times. Standing in the hospital parking lot, her bloody, bruised face was illuminated by the dim light. He remembered the defeated look in her eyes and the sound of her voice. He remembered standing in that dark parking lot shaking thinking she was dead. He remembered the way his heart thumped with both relief and guilt when he found out she had barely survived. And after all that, he came back to the same image of her standing there in the parking lot, looking at him with that sad, defeated look. And from somewhere deep inside himself, he found enough strength to push Mickey up off of him.

The other man stumbled back as Bosco wasted no time retaking control of the situation. Kicking Mickey in the ribs, the man rolled onto his side in pain. Kneeling down, Bosco grabbed Mickey by the throat slamming him back onto the concrete.

"Now I got a question for YOU. Tell me what kind of punk ass bitch beats on a woman?" Bosco tightened his grip on the doughy flesh of Mickey's neck as leaned in closer. Reaching behind him he pulled something out of his waistband. A collective gasp was heard in the club as Bosco leveled the .9mm under Mickey's chin. "You might have thought that you won but lets be clear about something. If you EVER and I mean EVER touch her again I'll kill you." Letting go of Mickey's throat he stood up. Shoving the gun back into his waistband, Bosco stood up. All eyes were on him as he back away, giving Mickey a long stare. Pushing his way through the crowd he didn't give a damn what they thought of him. That bastard almost took the only person left in his life that still gave a damn. He got what he deserved.

* * *

Staring out the window, Sully watched as the people on the street blurred together. Lucky for him the shift was almost over. After his meeting with George Ramirez this morning Sully's thoughts had been wandering all day.

"Did you hear what I said?" Davis looked at him from the driver's seat.

Shaking his head, Sully looked confused. "What?"

"What's going on, man? You've been out of it all day." Looking back out the window, Sully tried to play it off.

"It's nothing." He didn't get anything out of Ramirez, so what was the use of bringing it up?

Davis raised his eyebrow, clearly not believing his partner. Shaking his head, he had a suspicion that this had something to do with Yokas. He was about to open his mouth when a high-pitched ringing broke the silence. Pulling his phone out of his pocket, an annoyed looked crossed Sully's face as he flipped it open.

"Yeah?" The car was silent as he listened and then finally. "Ok."

"Who was that?"

"The desk sergeant. Says someone wants to meet me at the Pinecrest Diner."

"Who?" Sully shrugged. He had an idea but he didn't want to get too excited.

Ten minutes later Davis put the car in park. Sully hesitated getting out. Regarding his partner he spoke slowly. "Maybe you should wait in the car."

"What the hell is going on, man?" Davis was becoming irritated with all the secrecy.

"Look, Davis, if this is what I think it is; maybe you shouldn't get involved. It isn't exactly on the record if you know what I mean."

"This is about Yokas, isn't it?" Sully was silent. "I'm already in it, Sully. I was in it as soon as you told me what you were doing. Come on, man. You think I'm not going to back you up?"

Sully shook his head, "It isn't that, Ty. This is serious, I'm trying to prove that another cop killed Faith, and it's all a hunch…a suspicion. I don't have any proof. And if it goes the wrong way and I get jammed up over this, I don't want you to go down with me."

Davis was silent for a moment before finally speaking. "Right or wrong, Sully, I'm not going to walk away now. We're in this until the end."

Sully was silent as he looked at the glowing lights of the diner. Ty was grown man, and even though Sully tried his best to look out for him, he was going to make his own way on this job. If this was how he wanted to do it, then so be it. But if George Ramirez was in that diner after tonight the game would be stepped up a notch and there would be no turning back.

The diner was mostly deserted that time of night and Sully had no trouble locating the person he was looking for. Seeing the two officers approach, George Ramirez looked up. Offering a slight smile he waited for Sully and Davis to slide into the booth across from him.

"Mr. Ramirez, this is my partner Officer Davis." Ramirez briefly acknowledged Davis before turning back to Sully.

"I called you because there's something else." Sully nodded, he knew that Ramirez was holding back. "Look, man, here it is. I know I might look like punk, but I work two jobs to provide for my kids. I really…I'm scared. I need my job." Sully was confused where he was going with this. Taking a deep breath Ramirez continued. "The night after the crash I was at home when a cop came to my door. He said he had to talk to me about a couple things. He asked me what I saw and I told him. He told met that wasn't the way it happened. I was like, 'What the hell, man? I know what I saw!'." Pausing Ramirez rubbed his forehead. "Then dude gets all crazy and shit, checks me against the wall and says that if I ever told anyone what I saw he would make sure I lost my job with the truck company. I can't lose my job, man. It's all I got. If I can't drive, my kids can't eat. I just…"

Putting his hand up, Sully stopped the man. "George, it's ok. Just tell me what you saw."

Ramirez took a few deep breaths. It was clear that he was in a tough spot. He knew the difference between right and wrong yet was driven by a desire to protect himself and his family. Looking down at the table, he began speaking slowly. "I was coming up to the intersection. The light was green but I heard the siren so I started to slow down. On the left side I saw the cop car coming down Lexington. He stopped at the intersection…" Before Ramirez could continue Sully raised his hand.

"Excuse me? You're saying that you saw the car stop before going through the intersection?"

Ramirez nodded, "Yeah he stopped. I saw it."

Next to Sully, Davis lowered his head. Running a hand over his head he muttered, "Oh my God."

Sully wasn't surprised. He knew that was what happened. He just needed some proof.

"I thought he was going to wait until I cleared the intersection. I was too close to stop. Then another cop car came up behind the first one and pushed him out into the intersection. The second guy…he didn't even slow down. That was the last thing I saw before the crash."

Sully stared him down. "You're sure?"

Ramirez nodded slowly, his mouth drawn into a thin line. "I saw her, you know. When the car rolled out in front of me. I saw her face; that lady cop you were talking about, the one with the kids. She looked right at me."

The three men were silent for a moment each digesting the shift that had just taken place. Finally Ramirez spoke, "What happens to me, now?"

Sully took a deep breath. "You're going to have to come down to the house. Make a statement. Probably testify."

Ramirez shook his head violently. "I'm not doin' that. That cop, he said he would take my job, even kill me if I opened my mouth."

"We can protect you."

"Right…you gonna be there when he comes back to my house at three in the morning? Are you gonna feed my kids when I lose my job? Nobody cares about someone like me. I'm just some dumb Mexican to them. We're a dime a dozen; if I can't drive they'll find someone who will." Standing up, he paused for a moment. "I wish I could help you. I really am sorry, Officer Sullivan." Walking out of the diner, Ramirez left Sully and Davis wondering what to do next.

* * *

The apartment was hot and dark when Bosco got back that night. Opening one of the living room windows he sat down on the couch. He felt better, like the world had been put back on its axis. Flexing his hand he looked at his skinned knuckles. It felt good to hit that bastard.

The bedroom door was closed as Bosco assumed that Liz was asleep. He wanted to wake her up and tell her about everything but then thought better of it. She didn't seem too happy when he left. Sighing, Bosco figured that he would let her sleep on it.

Getting up, he paced back and forth. From the floor Atlas perked his head up watching Bosco wear a path in the carpet. He was still too keyed up to sleep. He needed some kind of release.

It was nearly midnight when Bosco sat down on the front stoop. Tying his tennis shoes he looked down at the pavement. It had been a long time since he did any sort of exercise. He had never really been much of runner, but it seemed to work for Liz so he decided to give it a shot.

The first few steps felt foreign and unusual. Normally he ran in an all out sprint to catch a perp but this was a little different. He had to keep the pace to something he could manage over a distance. He wasn't sure how far he would run, only that he would stop when he felt like it had been enough. Thankfully the streets of Brooklyn were quiet as he turned the corner. The patting of his feet against the concrete lulled him into comfortable rhythm as his mind began to wander.

Finally, Bosco felt like things were really coming together for him. He was beginning to accept that what happened to Faith was not his fault. It was an accident. That's it. God knows he would trade places with her if he could. He had a new partner now and even though she would never be Faith that was all right with him. No one could ever replace Faith, and he was a fool for ever trying to make Liz fit into a space that only one person could ever occupy. That didn't mean he thought she wasn't as good as Faith; much to the contrary he was very impressed by her. Smiling a little, Bosco never would have saw himself partnered with only women at the academy. In fact, if someone had told him that he probably would have laughed in their face. Turns out two of the best cops and people he ever knew were not only women but also his partners. He had been luckier than most.

Turning off Flushing Avenue, Bosco continued on toward the Brooklyn Bridge. The lights of Manhattan glowed across the river as he turned his hat backwards. Looking up into the night sky he thought for a moment that he saw a few stars. Stars in New York City, can you believe it? Turning back to the street, Bosco felt himself slow down a bit. All the adrenaline and anxiety of earlier had washed away as it was replaced by a sense of addicting calm. Climbing the steps to the Brooklyn Bridge Bosco he stopped for a moment as all of lower Manhattan was laid out before him. It was a sight he had seen many times before, but somehow this time was different.

Moving forward the warm breeze dried the sweat from the back of his neck. On the lower deck the sound of traffic whizzing in and out of Manhattan blended with the soft creaking of his tennis shoes against the wooden planks. The walkway was deserted and mostly dark except for dim lights that hung from polished brass hooks. Somewhere down below Bosco heard water sloshing as a cargo ship passed under the bridge heading toward the ocean. It was amazing and in that moment Bosco felt like this experience, the bridge, the city, all of it belonged to him and him alone. If he could he would have stayed in that moment forever.

Slowing down slightly, Bosco turned off the Bridge and onto Vesey Street in Lower Manhattan. His legs were starting to ache as his body felt tired and heavy. Running a few more blocks he slowed to a walk as he reached the World Trade Center Plaza. Hands on his hips, Bosco sucked in air as he looked for a place to sit down. The plaza was beautiful and meticulously maintained as well tended flowers and shrubbery were all around. Between the towers he finally found a cement bench. Sitting down he took a few deep breaths. It felt good to run, better than he would have thought. The physical strain had pushed all the nervous energy out of him as a wonderful sense of peace took its place. Laying back he closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them he was staring up at two building that seemed to go on forever.

He felt really good. Like his life was finally making sense. He felt like he belonged somewhere; like someone cared what happened to him. He never would have imagined that his life would turn out like this. He had taken a long, hard road but maybe just maybe in the end all the pain and suffering would be worth it. Lying there he stared up at the towers. From that perspective they were beautiful and limitless, soaring into the clouds and touching the heavens. They reminded him that anything was possible, that his life was hopeful and promising, and that all the dreams he once had for himself could still come true.

Bosco wasn't sure how long he lay there. By the time he got up and took the subway back to Brooklyn it was nearly 6 am and the sun was starting to come up. Throwing the apartment door open, he was surprised to see Liz sitting on the couch. He didn't really know what to say so he waiting for her to speak first.

"Are you ok?"

Pausing for a moment he let a genuine smile take over his features. Looking at her he nodded slowly, "Yeah. I'm good." There was no strain in his voice or attempt to hide the truth. It was honest and easy and it rolled right off his tongue. Smiling she nodded back completely believing him for the very first time.

* * *

Sully lay in bed looking up at the ceiling. This was serious now. Everything he suspected; everything he felt to be true had just been confirmed by George Ramirez. Now, the only question was what to do. Ramirez made it clear that he would not cooperate. Sighing Sully really couldn't blame him. Unlike most of the punks they dealt with who were only concerned with covering their asses, Ramirez actually had a good reason for not cooperating. He needed to protect his family and his way of life and Sully couldn't fault him for any of that. So, he would need to figure out a different angle.

He briefly considered going to the boss before quickly dismissing the idea. If you were going to take down two cops you needed proof and you needed to be sure of what you were doing. He had no proof although he would bet his life that everything he believed was the God given truth. Also, he found it unnerving that this information was spelled out in black and white on the accident report yet somehow it managed to get overlooked. Somehow the only story anyone wanted to hear was the one coming out of Brian Jackson's mouth. Was there a reason everyone felt the uncontrolled urge to believe him? The sick thought that someone else, like the boss, could be involved in all this caused a chill to run down his spine.

Then there was Bosco, the only other living witness to this whole mess. Sully didn't know if he was still undercover or not. He wasn't even supposed to know that much and he wouldn't have if he hadn't met Liz that day at the auto pound. A slight smile crossed his lips, he was happy that Bosco had someone who seemed to care about him. In the hour that they spent together, he found her to be very sharp, understanding, and funny. Bosco had gotten lucky…again. Even if he were able to find Bosco, there was still no guarantee that the man would talk to him.

Lying there he kept going over the same options. He needed to find a weakness that he could take advantage of. Immediately his thoughts went to Geidel. It was obviously that Jackson was running the show, while Geidel on the other hand often times seemed like a reluctant participant. At this point he had no other ins, so it was at least worth a shot.

That afternoon, Sully leaned against Scott Geidel's building trying to appear nonchalant reading the newspaper. Glancing at his watch he saw that it was almost two o'clock. Looking back up, Sully hoped that Geidel was working today, otherwise he could be standing here for a while. Halfheartedly he scanned the words in front of him until he saw movement out of the corner of his eye. Geidel didn't see him as he walked by on his way toward the subway.

"Hey Scott!" The younger man turned abruptly at the sound of his name. Seeing Sully a panicked look immediately crossed his face. Glancing over his shoulder, Sully didn't miss the paranoid way he scanned the street.

"Sullivan?" He feigned surprise although he was pretty sure why the older man was there.

Tucking the newspaper under his arm, Sully took a step toward Geidel. "We need to talk, Scott."

Oh shit. Geidel didn't need to guess; he knew this was about Yokas. Still he tried to appear as cool as possible. "I really have to get going." Turning he started toward the subway again.

Pursing his lips together Sully decided it was now or never, "We both know what happened to Yokas was no accident." Geidel stopped walking. "I know it wasn't your idea. I just want to know why you did it."

Before he could continue Geidel turned around sharply. His face was a mixture of panic and guilt as his voice came out a few octaves too high, "I told you Sullivan! I NEED TO GO!" It was all right there, bubbling under the surface threatening to spill over at any moment. Sully watched as Geidel disappeared down the stairs. He had been so close.

* * *

Bosco leaned back against the wall as he watched Liz walk toward him. With the Barksdale operation down the drain, they were in limbo for the time being. Callahan was pissed and there was a good chance he would bounce them both back into uniform. As long as they stayed together he really didn't care where they ended up. Setting the beer down on the table, Liz straddled the picnic bench seat. In her normal life she was much more relaxed than undercover. Gone were the stiletto heels and black dresses, replaced with jeans, a t-shirt, and a backwards Yankee cap. Gone were the darting eyes and upright, on guard posture, replaced by a relaxed smile and easy, honest demeanor. If he thought he liked being around her while undercover, he loved being with her as a normal person.

"What are you going to stare all day or drink that beer?" Pointing at his full cup she laughed, "If you can't take care of it, I can help you."

Smirking at her he took a nice log sip. Laughing she shook her head. They had been working so much that she suggested they do something normal. Other than the run he took a few nights ago, Bosco couldn't remember the last time he did something "normal".

The bruises on his partner's face were beginning to fade as he eyed her closely. "Liz…I've told you pretty much everything about me. What about you? Where are you from?"

Liz wasn't usually open with other people about her life but Bosco was different. "Pittsburgh, originally. I went to the academy there, worked for a year and then moved to New York."

"I thought you said you were a rookie in Brooklyn."

"Well I was a rookie in the NYPD. No one cared I had worked in Pittsburgh, they treated me like shit."

Taking a sip of his beer, Bosco nodded. "Did you like it? The Pittsburgh Department?"

Liz nodded with a smile, "Oh I loved it. The department was great. Most of the guys were really nice; they didn't treat me any different."

Bosco was confused, "So why did you move to New York?"

The smile faded from Liz's face as she finished the beer. "A guy. Someone I thought I would marry. His business transferred him here, I followed, six months later he was sleeping with another woman. I thought about going back to Pittsburgh but I wanted to prove to him and everyone else that I could make it here." She paused thinking for a moment. "Shortly after all that happened, I met Dave and we became partners. Things turned around after that and I never looked back. I felt like I belonged here; like it was all meant to be."

Bosco wasn't expecting that. Finishing his beer, he stood up. "You want another?"

Liz nodded handing him a wooden token. Turning back to the wooden table she wasn't surprised by his reaction. Most people had a hard time finding the right words when she started talking about her past. Maybe she shouldn't have told him all that; would he look at her differently? Coming up behind her, he sat another beer down on the table. "For what its worth that almost husband of yours sounds like a real jag off." A hesitant smile crossed her face. "And just so you know, I'm glad you didn't go back to Pittsburgh." She just looked at him. It was perfect. He didn't need to say anything else.

The walk between the Brooklyn Brewery and their apartment in Bed Sty was about one mile, but it seemed like one block. Laughing, they had consumed a little too much beer and weren't really paying attention to anything but each other.

"Hey where did you go the other night?" Bosco stiffened slightly as his mind floated to less pleasant things.

"I went for a run." He was pretty sure she knew he was going to handle business with Mickey sooner or later; no need to rehash those details.

Liz was drunk and felt good so she didn't press him for anything else, instead concentrating on something positive, "A run, huh? I hear running's pretty good for stress."

Bosco smirked, "Yeah I think someone told me that."

They rounded the corner to their building, as Bosco opened the door. They were still drunk and laughing as they ran up the stairs. At the top Bosco stopped abruptly, the blood in his veins ran cold.

"I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't be here. I just really need to talk to you." Initial shock wore off as Bosco took a few steps forward. Behind him Liz glanced nervously between the two men. Something was going down.

Walking into the apartment, Bosco locked the door behind them. He was drunk; this was not a good time for this kind of thing. From the bedroom Atlas emerged to check out the strange man in their living room.

"How did you find me?" He had a million questions; this was the first one that came to mind.

"An old friend of mine knows your CO, Callahan. I called him, he told me where you were."

Bosco sat down on the couch. He didn't really know where to begin. "So…what's going on?"

"I've been looking into some things and I think that you need to come back to the 55 and go over this again." He was afraid that's where this was going. Standing up he shook his head violently.

"No! No, Sully. I'm not going back there. I don't want to look into what happened, it's over. I'm done with it."

Liz sat on one of the stools keeping her mouth shut. She immediately recognized Sully from the auto pound but hesitated to acknowledge that she knew him. Bosco was drunk and heated and she didn't think it was the right time to discuss how she tried to dig up the dirt of his past.

Sully pursed his lips, as he leaned against the wall. "Bosco, will you at least just hear me out?"

Bosco paced back and forth in his favorite path in the carpet. "Why? Tell me why I should do that, Sully? I've finally started to get on with my life. I was finally starting to feel happy and content with myself again. So tell me WHY THE HELL I SHOULD LISTEN TO YOU?"

Bosco had a way of pressing his buttons as he raised his voice slightly more than he had intended, "BECAUSE! I don't think Faith's death was an accident!"

**I love reviews!**

**Above lyrics are from John Mayer's "Shadow Days"**


	18. Demons

**Last Exit to Brooklyn"**

**Author:** carmen_085

**Disclaimer:** All Third Watch characters are property of NBC. All original characters belong to me

**Summary:** After a terrible tragedy changes his life, Bosco goes undercover to find redemption and justice in the most unlikely of places

**Chapter Eighteen**

" _When you feel my heat_

_Look into my eyes_

_It's where my demons hide_

_It's where my demons hide"_

Bosco crossed his arms over his chest as he rocked back in the metal chair. Letting out a slow deep breath a bitter smirk played across his features. It seemed like every time his life started to make sense the proverbial rug was pulled out from under him. Finally, after months of guilt and pain and self-loathing, he had accepted that Faith was gone. It was still hard to honestly believe. In his head he knew she was never coming back, but in his heart he was still waiting for her to come walking around the corner one day. Like nothing had ever happened, like this had all been a horrible dream.

Those thoughts were still there, but he kept them locked away now. They weren't at the forefront of his mind as he had managed to find a way around them. A path that was uncertain at times, but had ultimately proven itself to be more than worthy. His life in Brooklyn wasn't perfect but it made sense. He knew who he was and what he was supposed to be doing. The work was dangerous but the freedom it offered addicting. His partner was more than he ever could have hoped for. Liz was a good cop and a great friend. For the first time in months he belonged somewhere and it felt good.

Then Sully showed up and with one sentence managed to destroy the life had been so carefully constructing. _'BECAUSE! I don't think Faith's death was an accident!'_ And everything he had worked so hard to create, all the struggle and the pain, and the long road he had traveled disappeared. And he was back at the start with the same sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. Opening his eyes, he stared blankly at the glowing lights of Manhattan across the river. No matter how much he fought it, he felt himself tumbling backwards into something he couldn't control.

' _Bosco I really need to talk to you,' her voice came out disjointed as they bounced over the rough road. What the hell was her problem? She had been up his ass all day about something and he just didn't want to hear it. Too bad she wasn't taking the hint, he would have to be more blunt._

' _Jesus Christ Faith, can't this wait until later? I don't want to hear about Fred when we're on our way to a call!' He didn't take his eyes off the road to look at her; he didn't need to. He could feel the hurt radiating off of her. Instantly he regretted it, he didn't mean that; he always wanted to talk to her. The words hadn't been out of his mouth ten seconds and he was already wondering what possessed him to say such a thing._

_The RMP sailed down Lexington as he saw the intersection up ahead. He needed to apologize to her. Eyes darting to the right, he opened his mouth to say something but no words came out. He knew what he needed to say but couldn't find the nerve to say it. There would be plenty of time for that later. As far as Bosco knew, he had the rest of his life to make this right._

_The light at the intersection turned red as he reached across the console. Flicking the siren on he moved his foot from the gas to the brake. He would need to slow down if not stop completely. His fingers tightened around steering wheel as he felt the car lose speed. In the passenger seat he saw Faith turn and look over her shoulder. In that flicker of a second he thought it strange that she was more concerned with who was behind them rather than clearing the right side of the car. Turning back around she eyed him with a wild, panicked look._

' _Bosco! Jackson and Geidel I saw them…" Pressing down on the brakes he turned toward her to clear the right side of intersection as he opened his mouth to say something. A rocket shot out of the back seat as he felt the brake pedal shake under his foot. The car whined and shimmied forward despite the squeal of tires. Before he could figure out what was going on something plowed into them so hard that the last thing he remembered was the sickening crack his head made against the driver's side window._

"I thought you might be up here." The sound of Liz's voice caused him to jump as the chair rocked forward. His heart raced as the metal slapped the ground with a crack. Even though she practically knew everything about him, he still couldn't help but to feel slightly embarrassed that she had walked into such a private moment. It was ridiculous but he felt like she had just caught him with his pants down. It was a rush of nervousness that he didn't expect.

Forcing a smile, he just nodded his head. Settling back into the chair, she eyed him carefully. Something was bothering him and given the recent events she was pretty sure that it was Faith. Never one to hold back, Liz took a deep breath. She too had been thinking about the bomb Sully dropped. She would stand behind him no matter what he decided but if he wanted to know her opinion, she thought that he needed to pursue this and find justice for Faith. No matter what he said or thought, she knew that he would never be able to rest until he knew the truth.

"You need to do it. No matter how much it hurts, you need to do it." Bosco sighed loudly; he didn't need to ask what she was talking about. He knew she was right, and he knew that she just wanted the best for him. But he didn't care. He didn't want to hear it right now. It was just too damn hard to think about going back there and facing that all again.

"Don't pretend like you know how I feel." It was much harsher than he had intended and began to feel a pang of regret as he watched the hurt look cross her face. Getting up he refused to apologize. Everything inside of him said that he needed to face this, yet somehow the only thing he wanted to do was run away. He was scared and he didn't want her to know it although he was pretty sure that she saw through his lace-curtain effort. "Why do I have to go back there? Tell me! Faith's dead and no matter how many doors I knock on, no matter what I find out she'll still be dead. So tell me why I should go back there and go through all that again when I've just started to feel like I belong here?"

The anger in Liz's eyes softened a little. It made her feel good to think that he felt like he belonged here, with her. Still, she couldn't help but to think that he was making a mistake. Looking into his face she saw fear and it made her sad. He had come so far since she met him; it hurt to see him back at the start again. "Because…" her voice was low gauging his reaction. "She would have done it for you."

Bosco had to look away as he felt a sharp pain go through his chest. Faith would have done it for him if the situation were reversed. No way in hell would she have sat back and let the bastard who killed him get away. She would have risked everything for him and he knew it. Apparently so did Liz. It pissed him off that she kept telling him exactly what he didn't want to hear; the truth.

"You don't know what she would have done." His voice was weak and unconvincing and she didn't buy it for a second. For some reason it was easier to lie to her, to fight with her than it was to admit that she was right.

Over his shoulder Bosco heard her let out a wry laugh as she mumbled, "This is ridiculous." She wasn't giving him any mercy and while deep down he knew that it was for the best, he also knew that it annoyed him. So Bosco began looking for a way to turn the focus onto something else, something safe.

He had been drunk last night but not drunk enough to miss the look of acknowledgement that passed between Liz and Sullivan. Like they had met before or something. He couldn't quite place it, although it had been bothering him all day. Turning around he narrowed his eyes at her, "Hey you want to talk about something? Let's talk about you and Sullivan!"

Liz felt her heart drop. She knew this would come out eventually, she just hoped it would be on her own terms and not in a fit of anger. She knew that Bosco would feel betrayed but there wasn't much she could do about that now. At the time it felt like the right decision, the only decision. Leaning forward, Liz rested her elbows on her knees as she regarded him thoughtfully.

"Ok. A couple of months ago I went to the auto pound to find out what the hell happened to you and I met Sullivan there. We talked," she shrugged indifferently, "That's it."

Bosco felt genuine anger begin to build up inside of him. She had gone behind his back. All the while he thought she was there for him, she was sneaking around behind his back, digging up the dirt of his past. "What?!"

She didn't look at him because she knew what she would find there. "You heard me."

"So you went behind my back…Why didn't you just come to me? Why didn't you just…" Before he could finish she cut him off.

"Come on, Bosco! I tried! You wouldn't let me in. I didn't know what to do! You were all over the place…"

"You didn't have to do that." She saw a look of hurt and betrayal cross his face.

"I didn't have to do that, oh ok. So what? I just sit by, twiddle my thumbs, hope that maybe you'll let me in eventually."

Bosco shook his head, "It wasn't your place. All this time I thought you were standing by me even though you didn't understand what was happening…"

Liz stood up quickly, tipping the chair over in the process. It was a hot night in late July as the air around them was heavy with tension. Sweat began to bead up on the back of her neck as her veins pumped with adrenaline. Now she was pissed. "Stand by you?" She let out a bitter laugh, "I stood by you through everything! So, I went behind your back but I did it because I wanted to be there for you. I didn't want to give up on you. I was putting my life on the line for you to have another shot at being a cop!" Bosco opened his mouth to say something but she quickly continued, "And in case you forgot…I almost died that night because I was standing by you- covering for you. So don't even think about saying that shit to me again."

She watched as he flinched at her words. It made her feel bad for a second but she didn't care. Really Bosco didn't know what to say. She was right about everything. He felt sad, and angry, and scared and he just needed to get out of there. Turning he hurried toward the door.

"Where the hell are you going?" Her voice called from behind, although he didn't turn around. Jerking the door open, he yelled back.

"None of your damn business."

* * *

Bosco sat on one of the benches of the Brooklyn Bridge as he let his eyes drift close. Wrapping the dog leash around his hand he felt Atlas stir slightly at his feet. He didn't really know where he was going when he left the apartment; he just knew that he needed to get out. The last thing he wanted to do was fight with Liz, but for some reason he had this innate ability to push those away who were closest to him. It was a protective mechanism from his childhood. If he opened himself up completely to another person, the potential to get hurt was more than he could bear. So he kept himself closed offed and for the most part it worked. That was, until he met Liz. The rules were different this time as he suddenly found himself in uncharted emotional waters with her.

The rhythmic whizzing of traffic on the deck below calmed his nerves slightly. He just had so much to think about that he didn't know where to start. In his heart he knew that there was only one thing to do about Faith. He needed to figure this thing out. No matter how much it hurt, no matter how hard it was going to be; he needed to go there and figure this out. He could never go on with his life knowing that her killer was free and he didn't do a damn thing about it. But before that, he needed to go back and apologize to Liz. He felt betrayed but he understood why she did it. Liz was the real deal and he didn't want something like this to come between them. He doubted that even if he looked, he would never find a better partner than her. So he needed to make this right between them.

Looking down at his watch he saw the numbers glowing back; two am. He needed to get back. Standing up, he tugged on Atlas's lease as the dog awakened from his slumber beneath the bench. Slowly the pair made their way home; Bosco searching for the words to make everything right again.

* * *

Liz rolled over in bed. She couldn't sleep, the argument with Bosco playing over in her mind. She didn't regret doing it; only wished that maybe she would have told him sooner. She never meant to hurt him, although it sure didn't seem like that now. Sighing she knew that he would eventually come around. They were partners and friends but beyond that she felt a stronger connection with him although she didn't immediately understand why. It was confusing and comforting at the same time; and while the fight made her feel sick she was strangely comforted by a deeper knowledge that it would take a whole lot more than that to break them apart.

Letting her eyes drift shut she fell into a restless sleep. The sound of shattering glass woke her as she sat bolt upright in bed. Had she dreamt that or was it real? Underneath the bedroom door she saw an orange glow. Maybe Bosco was home. Swinging her legs over the side of the bed she got up and moved toward the door. Still wiping the sleep from her eyes she opened the door. In an instant her heart was in her throat. The living room, the kitchen, the entire place was on fire. Slamming the door shut, she sucked in a sharp breath. Her mind raced as a momentary wave of panic came over her. Then just as quickly has it had come on; the panic was replaced by a methodical process that had been ingrained in her since the police academy. Keep calm; if you don't you'll never make it out alive. Her mind started clicking as she robotically ran around the room; put your clothes on and get out of there. It took her less than ten seconds to get dressed; rushing over to the door she opened it only to be overcome by a thick black smoke. Dropping to her knees she covered her face with an old shirt. This was bad. The fire escape was on the other side of the living room out the kitchen window. Crawling on her hands and knees she wasn't sure where she was but estimated that she had only made it 2 feet. Looking up through the smoke she could see the ceiling rolling with flames. Drywall collapsed all around her as she heard a creaking from above. Her lungs burned as she coughed and sputtered for air. Liz felt dizzy and weak as she tried desperately to find a way out.

Outside across the street, a man leaned against the building in the shadows. A small smile spread across his lips as he watched flames shoot out of a second story window. The cracking and popping of glass made his heat skip a beat, as he felt satisfied with his efforts. They made him look like a punk. Ruined his big break and his chances with Barksdale; he wouldn't stand for this. He couldn't stand for it. If he didn't have his reputation; he had nothing. In the distance the sound of sirens caused him to recede further into the shadows. Taking on last look at the burning building he turned and ran.

Liz wasn't sure if she was making any progress, her throat was on fire as she gasped for air. Above her the ceiling whined and creaked before letting loose. Scrambling, she barely made it to the bedroom before the room caved in. Slamming the door shut, she crawled over to the window. Her brain struggled to rise above the haze of toxic substances that were clouding her judgment. No one was coming; this was on her. Pushing the old, glass frame up she was delighted by the rush of fresh air. Straddling the windowsill she contemplated the two-story drop below. She might make it, but she would surely break one or both of her legs. Behind her the door whooshed and fire rolled into the room. Liz didn't have time to think about it, she just needed to jump. Closing her eyes, she pushed herself out of the window.

Bosco rounded the corner of Fulton Avenue as he began to pick up the faint smell of something burning. Atlas stopped and pointed his nose upward. His ears scanned the area as the fur stood up in his back. Pacing back and forth he began pulling Bosco toward the apartment with a sense of urgency. Seeing this reaction in the dog made Bosco's stomach turn. Something was wrong. Walking faster his heart pounded in his chest. His hands were shaking as he rounded the corner of Fulton and Nostrand Avenue. Stopping dead in his tracks, Bosco sucked in a sharp breath. Flames shot out of their apartment. This wasn't happening. Dropping the leash he ran toward the door, stopping only when he saw someone jump from a second story window.

Bracing herself for the worst, Liz gasped in surprise when she landed awkwardly on a small ledge about six feet below her window. Grabbing onto a rusted pipe she steadied herself. Taking a deep breath her heart raced. Glass rained down on her as she ducked against the building. Looking up flames and smoke shot out of the window she had just been sitting on. Coughing loudly, she looked down.

Bosco closed his eyes when he saw her jump, expecting the worst. When he didn't hear anything he hesitantly opened them. Clinging to a small ledge, he saw her waver from side to side. She was probably still a good ten feet off the ground. Without even thinking about it, he ran to her. "Liz! LIZ!"

Clutching to the pipe, Liz felt the wooden ledge cracked under her weight. Hearing her name she looked down. Bosco. He was there. Panicked she held on as she felt the bottom begin to slip out from under her.

Bosco watched as she teetered on the unstable ledge. This was bad. The company was just around the corner as he heard their sirens grow louder. She just needed to hold on for a little bit longer. "LIZ! THEY'RE COMING! JUST HOLD ON!"

Gripping the pipe tighter she felt the wood begin to disintegrate from underneath her. On the ground Bosco watched in horror as the ledge collapsed and tumbled to the sidewalk. Clinging to the pipe he saw her arms shaking as she tried to hold on. Behind him Atlas pacing nervously, letting out a worried whine every few seconds. Holy shit! Where were they?!

Liz's fingers were numb around the worn metal and her arms ached but she held on. The pipe was old and rusted and she was surprised that it had lasted this long. Scraping her feet along the building, she tried desperately to find any sort of indention in the bricks that she could put her weight on. There was nothing. The movement caused her grip to loosen slightly as her heart raced. The pipe groaned as the flames above had done a number on its already borderline integrity. Before she even knew that was happening she felt herself falling backwards toward the ground.

His heart pounded in his chest. Taking two steps forward he held his arms out. He didn't know what he was doing. Pinching his eyes shut he could only hope that God would take care of them in that moment. The next thing he felt was her falling into his arms as they both went tumbling backwards.

The impact with the concrete was less than she expected as it took her a minute to realize that Bosco caught her. Pushing herself up pain radiated through both of her knees but other than that everything seemed to work.

"Holy shit! Are you ok?" Her voice was raspy from the amount of smoke she inhaled. Bending over she helped him up as he became aware of the acute pain in his left shoulder. Trying to move it, he was met with more resistance. "Jesus! Your shoulder is out of place."

Pointing at the distorted limb a look of guilt crossed her face. She had caused that. Shaking her off, Bosco didn't want her to feel bad about it. "It's nothing."

"BULLSHIT! You need to go to the hospital." Now that was the last place he was going. He could put it back in himself. Swinging his right arm around he tried lifting his left back into the socket. The pain was enough to make him double over. "Bosco! STOP!"

By this time the company had arrived as they were showered with the spray of their hoses. Liz noticed that most of the neighborhood had come out to watch as the sidewalk was littered with people. Black soot ran down her face as her hair hung in wet strands. Looking back up at the burning building she couldn't believe that she had survived that. For a minute there…she wasn't sure.

"You guys need to go to the hospital?" A young medic approached them with a concerned look on his face.

"No." Bosco was quick to respond.

"Yes." Liz was equally quick to counter as the medic looked between them in confusion. In his estimation both of them needed to go to the hospital to be examined but if they refused he couldn't force them.

"Why don't you guys just come over to the ambulance and I'll see what I can do." Bosco was doubtful that he could put his shoulder back in on his own so he reluctantly agreed.

When the crowd began gathering Mickey slowly drifted back to watch. He couldn't help himself. Pulling a hat down over his eyes, there was no way they would be able to pick him out. Leaning against the building across the street, a smirk came to his face. There was no way they survived that, he made sure he threw the fire bomb in the window right next to the fire escape. He wanted to make sure he got rid of them this time; both of them.

His reverie was short lived, however, as he saw what looked like Bosco and Liz being led toward an ambulance. Pushing through the crowd to get a better look he couldn't believe his eyes. They were alive.

Out of the corner of her eye Liz saw a commotion in the crowd. Scanning the faces she felt a chill run down her spine. She didn't recognize anyone but couldn't shake the feeling of being watched. Reflexively, Mickey dipped his head down behind the wall of bodies. Pulling the hat down over his eyes he hesitantly glanced up just long enough to seem them climb into the ambulance. Angrily he spun around heading back toward the alley his punched the side of the building as hard as he could. Pain radiated through his fist although he didn't feel it as he stalked off in the darkness.

"Were you inside?" The medic brought her back to reality as she hoisted herself onto the bench seat. Nodding hesitantly, she allowed him to shine a pen light up her nose and in her throat.

"Yeah." Shaking his head the medic stuffed his light back into his pocket.

"You should really come in. You have singed nasal hairs; it could be an inhalation burn." Liz shook her head. She wasn't going in, no way no how. She'd had her fill of hospitals.

"No. I'm good, really. I'm fine." Bosco's arm was hanging out of the socket; they didn't need to be worried about her. Pushing the medic away she gestured toward her partner sitting on the cot. "He needs something done with that arm." Shaking his head ruefully he turned his attention to Bosco. Carefully palpating his shoulder, he stopped and looked him in the eye.

"I'll make one attempt to put it back. If it doesn't go; I'm taking you in." Bosco nodded his head as a veil of tension took over his features. His eyes nervously darted toward Liz. His right hand clenched the bed sheet as the medic stood up taking Bosco's wrist in one hand and his shoulder in the other. Liz smiled reassuringly as his hand let go of the bed sheet and turned upward. Anyone else would have missed the gesture entirely but over the past few months they had developed a way to talk without actually talking. A secret language if you will. Moving from the bench seat, she sat next to him on the cot. Interlacing his fingers with her own, she felt him squeeze her hand. "Ready for this?"

Gritting his teeth Bosco pinched his eyes shut. "Do it." In one swift motion the medic pulled his arm up in a c-like movement. Not only did he feel the pop, he heard it as well. Instantly, his arm felt better. Moving it up and down it was a little sore but mostly it felt like nothing happened at all. The medic smiled clearly happy with his efforts. Releasing the death grip he had on her hand, Bosco let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"I don't believe this." Callahan's voice caused Liz to jump. Taking in their appearance he shook his head. "What the hell happened here?"

Stepping down out of the ambulance she gestured toward the charred windows of her former home. "I don't know boss. I was asleep, the place was already going when I woke up." Looking past her into the ambulance his eyes landed on Bosco.

"Where were you?" Gingerly sliding his shirt back on, Bosco waved the medic off as he hopped off the bumper onto the pavement.

"I was out walking the dog." Shooting a glance at Liz he wondered if she would say something. Looking down at her shoes, she showed no hint that there was anything more to say. The disagreements they had were between them; it was none of Callahan's business.

Looking between them suspiciously he had a feeling that something else was up. Shaking his head he exhaled loudly, it was no use. In the last few months he had noticed that they were tight, and if something was going on they would most likely cover for each other until the very end. He had hoped that they would mesh well when Swersky called him and told him about Bosco but he didn't expect this. In a short amount of time they had become partners in every sense of the word.

"Out walking the dog, huh?" Looking down Atlas sat at attention giving Callahan the most sincere look he could muster. Smiling wryly he shook his head. Even the damn dog was on their side. Turning back toward the building Callahan surveyed the charred remains of their apartment. "Any thoughts?" Narrowing his eyes at Liz she knew exactly what he was asking.

Shrugging she shook her head, "The place went up pretty fast. Doesn't really seem like much of an accident."

Bosco felt his stomach turn. Mickey. That bastard just wouldn't quit. "One of Barksdale's people…you think?" Callahan's eyes scanned the crowd as Liz nodded in agreement.

"Probably." Probably…definitely…it was god damned Mickey. All the same thing really. Perusing the crowd she searched for any familiar faces. Mickey was a problem. They didn't have enough to put him away just yet but the bastard wouldn't give up. Each time he came back around it was more violent, more dangerous. He almost had her this time. Sighing, Liz reasoned that perhaps some space would be good. If they went back to Manhattan; maybe spent some time in uniform, hopefully it would put enough time and space between them and Mickey for him to forget about it. That or someone else would piss him off and he would at least be distracted for a while. She wasn't giving up on him or Barksdale. Some way, somehow she would get them. Liz didn't spend eight months of her life undercover to watch those two scumbags walk away. She couldn't do it now, but sooner or later she would come back for them. If it was the last thing she did, she would make sure they both paid.

"I'll give you guys a ride to Manhattan. Then I'm taking the car back to the autopound." Liz frowned; in her real life she didn't have a car and over the last eight months she had been spoiled. Still she knew that she couldn't keep it. Nodding, her and Bosco and Atlas followed him around the corner. Lagging behind Bosco stared at their building once more. A total loss, their apartment has been charred beyond recognition. Standing there a lump rose up in the back of his throat. Never in his life did he think he would be sad to leave a place like Bed-Sty. This place gave him his life back. Five months ago he had all but given up. The night that Faith died, the night he put a gun to his head; he was ready to die that night. When Liz picked him up from Ryker's he had no idea the often painful, extremely difficult, and ultimately amazing journey she would take him on. She said that she was taking him to Brooklyn but where she really took him was back to his life. A better life than he had known before. A life that had waited for him while he stumbled down a dark and confusing path. A life that almost didn't happen. And a life that he loved.

"Bosco! Let's go." Standing in the doorway of the car, Liz waved to him. Taking one last look at the burnt out building Bosco turned. Even if he lived to be a hundred years old he would never forget the way that cheap twin bed dug into his back. Or the sounds of the street coming in their window at night. Or the way that the lights of Manhattan glowed across the river. He would never forget the sight of his partner and her dog sleeping together on the threadbare couch. Or the way the neighborhood smelled like Chinese takeout and cigarettes. More than anything else, though, he would never forget the way this place made him feel. Like he was someone. Like he meant something. Like all the hope had had once had for his life still existed. Faith was gone; there was no changing that. But he was still here, still alive with a chance to make it count.

Wiping the soot from her face, Liz flipped the visor back up. It was nearly four am but there was still traffic on the FDR. Tightening her seatbelt, she gripped the door as Callahan weaved in and out of traffic nearly rear ending a bus. Red taillights illuminated the car as she cast a glance in his direction. He seemed completely unfazed, as he appeared deep in thought.

"Have you two thought about what to do next?" He assumed that they wanted to stay together. Liz shrugged.

"I think we need to go back to uniform for a while. We can't go back to Brooklyn, it's too hot there. This whole Barksdale thing needs to cool off for a while." He nodded, he had been thinking the same thing.

"Sir." Bosco's voice caused them both to stop talking as Callahan glanced in the mirror. "I really appreciate everything that you and Liz have done for me. This has been more than anything I ever could have asked for. I know that I haven't always been at my best and I'm sorry about that." He paused, as Callahan was quick to chime in.

"Don't worry about it. You were in a hard place, we did what we could. Things didn't really work out…but I'm glad that Liz found a partner. A good partner." It was probably the best that he could get out of his CO. Bosco had screwed up…a lot. But he was still here and that meant something. He compromised their investigation but they never asked him to leave. They believed in him even when he didn't believe in himself.

"I appreciated everything, sir. Really, I do." Taking a deep breath he hesitantly began, "That's why it's so hard for me to say this. I need your help, again. Both of you." Liz knew where this was going although she listened quietly gauging Callahan's reaction. "It has recently come to my attention that my partner's death may not have been an accident." Bosco sucked in a sharp breath; the words came out of his mouth but they sounded so foreign.

"What?!" Concern and shocked played across Callahan's face as he swerved around a stopped car.

Bosco had expected this. "Sir, I know what you're going to say and I've already thought about it. There is no way I'm taking this to IAB. Faith was my partner and I want to make sure this gets handled the right way and…"

Before he could finish Callahan cut in, "Those filthy rat bastards? I wouldn't hand a bag of steaming shit over to them…No way are you taking this to them."

Bosco was surprised, after all the trouble that he had caused the man he was still on his side. "I need to take care of this and I need your help. Both of you. I just…"

Liz turned around as she smiled at him. "Are you kidding? You know I'm in, all the way partner." Bosco chuckled softly. In light of the nights events, their fight earlier had been forgotten and he was glad. He had expected that she would back him up on this; Callahan was another story. Without the help from someone above, he knew that there was only so much they could do.

The car was quiet as they took the exit for the Bruckner Expressway toward the Bronx. Bosco was nervous until the boss finally spoke, "OK. But if either one of you gets hurt that's it." Relief washed over Bosco's face as he let a whoosh of air escape his lips. "Have you figured out how you're going to do this?" Bosco shook his head. Callahan nodded, "Well figure something out and let me know what you need. I'll see what I can do."

Slowing the car, they exited the expressway into a tree lined reasonably clean neighborhood called Parkchester. Reaching into his pocket, Callahan pulled out a set of keys. Handing them to Liz, "Your emergency set until you can get to your box tomorrow." Smiling she took the keys and slid them into her own pocket. Stopping the car in front of an ordinary looking apartment building, Liz got out of the car. Leaning down she made eye contact with Bosco in the back seat.

"Call me tomorrow. We'll figure something out." Smiling at him she shut the door. He hair was still wet and her shirt and face stained with soot. Walking slowly to the door, Bosco watched as his partner and Atlas disappeared into the building. This was their real life now. No more cover stories, or dressing like drug addicts, or acting like they were a couple. That was over.

The car was quiet as Callahan drove Bosco back to his own apartment on East 86th street. When he stopped the car, Bosco looked up at his building like he had never seen the place before in his life. He knew that he wouldn't be able to stay in Brooklyn forever but he didn't think he would be thrust back to reality this abruptly. Hoisting himself out of the car, he stopped as he bent down. "Thanks, boss. For everything." Callahan nodded as a look of understanding passed between them. Slamming the door shut, Bosco dug into his pocket. On his key ring were the keys to his mustang, the building he stood in front of, and to a home that no longer existed.

Standing in the middle of his apartment he looked around. Everything was just the way that he left it. Taking a few steps he sat down on the couch. The sun was just beginning to come up as he lay back against the cushions. It was quiet; for the first time in five months he was alone. Closing his eyes, he wasn't sure how long he laid there, but when he woke up the sun was shining in his windows. Wiping his eyes, Bosco looked around. Things didn't really look any better in the daylight. He felt like he didn't belong there, like he was suddenly squatting in someone else's life. The place that he once considered home was cold and uninviting. Eyes wandering around the room, he focused on a cardboard box in the corner. Taped shut and undisturbed were the contents of Faith's locker. All of the things Fred didn't care to come get. That was ok with, Bosco, though Fred had an entire life full of things that reminded him of Faith. For Bosco, that box contained the only tangible items he had of his partner's existence. Bending over he ran his hand over the tape but then abruptly pulled it back. No. It was too soon.

Looking around the lonely apartment, Bosco suddenly felt the urge to get away. He didn't belong here. Down the stairs and out the door, Bosco felt the tension ease as he stepped out onto the sidewalk. Eyeing his mustang on the street, the same feeling of unfamiliarity rose up in the back of his throat. That was part of his life before.

The six train screeched to a halt at the elevated station. Getting up and walking out onto the platform, Bosco took stock of the neighborhood in the daylight. Parkchester was an average working class Bronx neighborhood with a mixed demographic of black, white, and Hispanic. Thinking back he vaguely recalled Liz mentioning that she moved to the Bronx when she began doing UC work in Brooklyn. Something about needing to put some space between her real life and the fictitious one she had created on Fulton Avenue.

Walking through the neighborhood, Bosco's mind drifted to what exactly he was doing here. What was he going to say? Yes they had agreed to meet up but he wasn't here to talk about work. How was he going to tell her that he didn't belong in his real life? That his home felt foreign and strange. That he would rather take the train than drive the car he once loved. That when he thought of home only one thing came to mind…her. That was the problem; he had become so attached to her over the past few months that he couldn't imagine his life without her there. Of course they would see each other at work, but, really, it wasn't enough. It wasn't even close. Over the last month or so, Bosco had begun to realize that Liz was becoming more than a partner and friend. Somewhere along the way he had started developing feelings for her.

Bosco stopped in front of a building that looked vaguely familiar. Reading the names on the box, he found what he was looking for. Standing there he took a deep breath. And now it was time for the truth. He was just going to lay it all out there. A man came through the door as Bosco slid inside the building. Heading toward the stairs there was no turning back now.

Apartment 3G was at the end of the hallway. Knocking on the door, he stood there excited, nervous, and scared all at the same time. Much to his surprise a man answered the door.

"Hey. Can I help you?" The guy was of average build, dark hair and dark eyes. Leaning against the doorframe Bosco double-checked the number on the door. He hadn't gone to the wrong place, had he?

"I…ah…I think I went to the wrong place." The guy nodded his head. Looking past him, Bosco saw a familiar pair of worn shoes kicked off in the hallway. "Liz doesn't live here does she?" The guy stopped giving him a curious look.

"Yeah. Who are you?" Bosco felt like someone punched him in the gut. Standing behind the man in the hallway was his partner.

"Bosco?!" The man opened the doorway wider as Liz came over. "I thought you were going to call."

Bosco didn't know what to say. Standing there, mouth hanging open he struggled to find the right word…any words really. "I…um…"

"Who is this guy?" The dark haired man in the apartment thumbed his finger in Bosco's direction.

"Chris…this is Bosco, my partner. Bosco…this is Chris, my…ah…my boyfriend."

**As always I love to hear what you think! Never fear Sully fans, Sully and Davis are back in action next chapter.**


	19. The A Team

" **Last Exit to Brooklyn"**

**Author:** carmen_085

**Disclaimer:** All Third Watch characters are property of NBC. All original characters belong to me

**Summary:** After a terrible tragedy changes his life, Bosco goes undercover to find redemption and justice in the most unlikely of places

**Author's Note:** An extra long chapter for all my friends weathering this hurricane! I hope those of you without power are safe and those with are enjoying this extra long update !

**Chapter Nineteen**

" _The worst things in life come free to us_

_Cos we're just under the upper hand_

_And go mad for a couple grams_

_And she don't want to go outside tonight_

_And in a pipe she flies to the Motherland_

_Or sells love to another man"_

The Evergreen Diner was certainly nothing to write home about. Runny eggs, burnt toast, and a waitress with an attitude did little to whet Bosco's appetite. Running a fork through the eggs he shot a glance at Liz from the corner of his eye. She was staring into a glass of orange juice completely mute. Gnawing on a piece of toast, Bosco sighed. This was awkward.

In all fairness Liz had never alluded toward a relationship. They were partners. She was there for him when he needed her. They held hands and kissed in public because that was part of the scam. They were never anything but partners. Except they weren't; not for him anyway. There wasn't another person in this world that he trusted as much as her. She was there for him in every way a person could be there for you. Regardless of the meaning behind it, the hand holding, and hugging, and all the physical contact made him feel better. It made him feel like he wasn't alone. The night she picked him up from Ryker's he was ready to die, and today he actually had some hope that his life could be good again. She did that. So how could he not feel something for her? She gave him his life back.

Liz shot a look at Bosco as his eyes remained transfixed out the window. He was upset. She could feel it as a cloud of tension hung over their table. Truth be told, Liz had been attracted to Bosco the night she picked him up from Ryker's. He had been so defeated, so hopeless but somewhere deep inside of him the will to survive remained strong. That determination, especially in the face of such heartbreak, had locked her from the moment she laid eyes on him. Beyond that, his willingness to let her inside had fostered a sense of extreme closeness. When they left Brooklyn last night the possibility of something more than partners had crossed her mind, although she quickly dismissed it. Bosco had just started to get himself together. She didn't want to complicate anything for him. If he wanted something more, she would leave him to initiate that on his own terms.

This morning had been a surprise in more ways than one. She did not expect Chris to show up. They had dated for less than a year before she got the call for undercover. It had been nice until she had to leave for Brooklyn. A cop in the 39 Chinatown, Chris had been forever trying to get into narcotics. Each time he was passed up for someone with more experience he worked harder, made more collars, worked extra shifts. Anything he could do, he did it. Still, there were cops better connected than he who always managed to move ahead. During that time, Liz was working vice in Brooklyn, nothing too spectacular; hookers and pimps all night long. They were on equal ground so to speak. Then Liz got the call she had been waiting for; a deep cover operation in Brooklyn. She was so excited and although Chris did his best to be happy for her it was more than clear that he was jealous. Liz didn't expect them to last through an operation like that but she had half hoped he would have been more supportive. The night before she left for Brooklyn he sent her a text message. _'I can't wait for you. Good Luck'_ That was it. So when she left her life that day she assumed it was the last she would see of Chris. When he showed up at her door this morning, she was more than a little surprised. He seemed happy to see her and genuine about getting back together. While she was gone he had apparently found a spot on an Anti-Crime unit in Harlem and seemed more than pleased with himself. The jealously of before was gone as he now had his own ace in the hole to stack up against her. They talked for a while and it was nice, but it wasn't the same. Bosco was on her mind and then he was at her door.

The minute she saw his face she knew why he was there. She had just agreed to give Chris another chance. After all, she didn't even know if Bosco thought of her that way. Sure they were close, but was it just because he needed her? Need and want are two different things. With his old life back, would they still share the same level of emotional intimacy? She had no answers to these questions and instead of torturing herself she gave in and did the easy thing. One look in Bosco's eye made her stomach flip and her heart sink with regret. It was too late to go back now. The walls were back up and she doubted a second chance would come any time soon.

"Bosco! What is up?" Bosco's face broke out into a smile when he saw Davis and Sully walk into the diner. Standing up he hugged Davis and acknowledged Sully with a nod; their not so joyful reunion had taken place a few days ago. Liz pushed the plate away as she stood up. Offering a polite smile, she waited for Bosco to introduce her to his tall friend. Sitting back down he ignored her standing there. Sighing, she shot him a dirty look before taking a step forward.

"Hi! I'm Liz, Bosco's partner." Davis paused for a moment. He had never heard anyone use that title other than Faith. Smiling, his shock was melted away by her honest smile. She was a cute girl, not at all what he would have expected.

"Liz. I'm Ty, Ty Davis." Sully didn't miss the chill that passed between Bosco and Liz. Whatever it was it was probably Bosco's fault. Pulling her into a hug, he made sure to shoot Bosco a disapproving look. Rolling his eyes, Bosco moved over so that Davis could sit down next to him.

"So I take it you had time to think things over." Sully eyed Bosco carefully silently wondering why he called this impromptu meeting.

Bosco nodded, before replying slowly, "Yeah. I…uh…I want to do it. If someone," he paused for a moment shaking his head ruefully, "someone in our house did this. I want to know."

Davis shook his head, "It's not a question of if, man. We know who did, we just can't prove it."

Bosco nibbled on his fingernail as he stared out the window. Brian Jackson had worked at the precinct for about three years. He didn't really know him, neither did Faith. Jackson and his partner Scott Geidel didn't associate with many people at the 55; mostly kept to themselves. That was why he couldn't figure this out. What did they have against Faith? As far as he knew, she had never even spoken to them outside of work.

Shaking his head, Bosco narrowed his eyes at Sully. "I don't get it, Sully. What did they have against Faith? We hardly even spoke to them."

Sully sat back in his chair sighing loudly. "Really, I don't know, Bosco. The best that I have come up with is that maybe Faith saw something…something she wasn't supposed to see." Bosco was doubtful. How could Faith have seen something and not him? They were together all the time. About to open his mouth and offer a rebuke he was quickly silenced. Faith was riding alone while he was out on suspension. She was alone for three days out there. A new wave of guilt crawled up the back of his throat causing the muscles to tighten. If he hadn't lost control at that factory, he would have been there with her. Or more accurately he would have been there for her. Just one more way he had screwed up.

Liz watched as a guilty shadow shrouded her partner's face in darkness. He was blaming himself for something, something he hadn't remembered until just now. Underneath the table she kicked his foot. Hesitantly his eyes met hers and although they were in a bit of a snit, he still couldn't hide his feelings from her. Shaking her head slightly she mouthed the word ' _Don't'_. Bosco couldn't stop the corners of his mouth from twitching up into a smile. She knew him so well. The private exchange had gone completely unnoticed by Sully and Davis as Bosco brought himself back to reality.

"I want to talk to this girl." Sully stopped talking as he eyed Bosco cautiously.

"Bosco, we tried that. She won't say anything. Davis even chased her down the street." Sully was doubtful that Lysette Jones would be up for round two.

"I don't care. I want to talk to her." Sully shook his head.

"And then what? She tells you what she told Todd and then what are you going to do? You still don't have any proof! The word of a hooker against the word of a cop, how do you think that'll work out?"

Bosco shook his head as he looked away. Sully was right. "Well what about Jackson? Do you have anything on him?"

Davis let out a wry laugh. "There have been some incidents but nothing that would tie him to Faith. He's onto us now, though."

"Yeah, he knows we've figured him out but really he doesn't care. We have no proof and he knows that too." Sully gestured toward the stack of papers sitting on the table. "It's all circumstantial."

"What about a new cop. Someone to get inside, maybe gain his trust." The three men looked at her in shock. In theory it was a good idea, a great idea. But would that really work?

Davis shook his head, "No, him and Geidel are pretty tight. I don't see him letting anyone get close."

"That's fine. I can hang back for a while, check him out, and when the opportunity comes…"

"It might never come with this guy. He's smart, he covers all the bases." Sully was doubtful this would work although he had to admit that the concept had piqued his interest.

Liz opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by Bosco, "She's good Sully; better than you think. If she got the biggest drug operative in Brooklyn to trust her, she can get Brian Jackson."

Liz felt her cheeks flush. She didn't expect Bosco to be so complimentary given the sudden rift between them. Quickly she recovered, "Are there any openings now? Because if I just suddenly show up for now reason at all, I think that'll make him suspicious you know."

It sounded like a good plan. Sully reasoned that it was at least worth a try. Trouble was, there weren't any openings at the 55. Bosco and Faith had been replaced with a couple of guys from midnights. Shoulders slumping, Sully couldn't think of anything.

"Hey what about that K-9 position?" Davis offered coming up with their only option.

Sully shook his head, gesturing toward Liz, "She's can't do that. You need special training for that and…"

Before Sully could continue Liz broke out into a fit of laughter. "I don't believe this."

Bosco smirked at the irony of it all before cluing his friends in. "Before she went undercover she worked on a two man K-9 Team in Brooklyn. She's even got a dog."

Ever the pessimist Sully, shot Bosco a disbelieving look. "You mean that fat fur ball I saw laying on your couch over in Brooklyn? Bosco…"

"Hey…hey…come on now. Atlas has only been retired for a couple of years, I'm sure with a little refresher he would be ready to go." Liz was a little irritated that a man of Sully's size and shape was calling her dog fat. Atlas was out of practice; there was no doubt about that but with the right amount of training she thought he would be ready to go again. The only thing that worried her was would the dog want to do it again? After Dave died, Atlas lost all interest in police work. Had it been enough time for the memory of his beloved handler lying cold and dead on the pavement to fade away? She didn't know the answers but she hoped that this would work out for everyone, especially Bosco.

Bosco watched his partner think it over. Was the dog ready to come back? Could he, just like Bosco shake off the ghosts of his past and continue on? She might not be sure but he was. The night that he had been arrested by the prick Collins, Atlas was more than ready to back him up. No hesitation, no uncertainty, the dog had been there all the way.

"And what are you going to do?" Sully knew that Bosco couldn't sit back and do nothing.

What could he do? As far as anyone at the 55 knew he had been banished from the NYPD. Forced to resign rather than being fired in light of his actions at the hospital that night. In reality it was an intricate cover story that fit like a glove. It had served them well in Brooklyn, but it was actually becoming quite detrimental for their present situation. "Well I can't really show up at the house, now can I Sully?" Bosco wracked his brain. He didn't want to make it seem like he had no purpose in all of this. Worse than that he didn't want to make it seem like his partner was doing all the leg work for him.

Seeing the frustrated look on Bosco's face Liz quickly came to the rescue, "There's going to be a lot of surveillance and tracking people down that's going to need to be done to build a case like this. If you think we're going to just wait around until Jackson decides to confess you're wrong. Guys like that don't have a change of heart, their conscious doesn't eat away at them. You need to build a corner and then back them into it. He won't fall apart unless we box him and…"

She stopped talking as Sully and Davis stared at her. Maybe this girl did know what she was talking about. Bosco smirked at their surprise. Liz was very sharp and her time undercover had only served to hone a perceptive nature that made her a natural investigator. She knew how to build a case and how to back a suspect into a corner. They needed her for this.

"What?"

Davis smiled and shook his head, "Wow, Bosco wasn't kidding."

Liz smirked at him; this is what she was good at. "All I'm saying is that you don't go to war with someone like that unless you're prepared."

Davis nodded, up until then he thought that Sully had been going about things the right way. He was, but Liz opened his eyes to a whole new level of organization that actually made him feel like they had a chance. Maybe they could do this.

"Have you said anything to the boss?" Bosco eyed Sully hoping that he hadn't sent this up the line yet. Aside from the fact that Swersky would call IAB, Bosco couldn't shake the feeling of betrayal he felt toward the man. Rubbing his wrists absent-mindedly he remembered the feeling of handcuffs digging into his soft flesh.

Sully shook his head, "No. I haven't said anything." Scratching his chin, he chose his words carefully. "Look, Bosco…I don't know how far up this thing goes. So…"

"You think the boss is involved?" Prior to then Bosco hadn't even considered it.

Sully shrugged, "I don't know. All I know is they looked into the accident and knew something was up, but somehow the only thing anyone wants to believe is what's coming out of Brian Jackson's mouth. It's strange, that's all I'm saying."

Bosco let the words settle. It was strange but yet again Sully had no proof, only suspicion. "If the boss isn't in on it, how are you going to make sure she gets the position?" Davis posed an obvious question.

"Our boss is down for it," Liz replied casually. "He'll get us what we need." With that it was decided. This was the plan, for better or worse they were going to see this thing all the way through.

On the way out of the diner, Bosco let Liz and Davis walk ahead as he stopped Sully. "Look, Sully you don't have to be involved in this. It's my problem and I don't want you to get jammed up over it."

They didn't know where this would lead and Bosco wanted to make sure he didn't drag anyone down with him. Liz was his partner and she had already made it clear that she was going to stick it out. They had already stepped in an even bigger pile of shit out in Brooklyn so compared to that, the ramifications of this didn't concern her nearly as much. Sully and Davis both had something to lose. Sully was near retirement and if this went the wrong way they could take his pension. Davis was new on the job and he didn't need a stain like this following him around for the next twenty years. They were going to accuse a cop of murder, one of their own. The cardinal sin in policing was to rat out a brother. So he needed to be sure they knew what they were doing and that everyone was in it for the right reasons.

"Forget it Bosco. It's too late. I can't turn back now. I'm in this as much as you are."

Bosco wasn't going to argue with him. "And Davis?"

"I tried to discourage him in the beginning, but he wouldn't listen. He's his own man; he makes his own decisions. I can't do anything to change his mind."

Bosco swallowed hard. It was settled then. Sully had given him the name and mug shot of the prostitute as he stuffed the information in his back pocket. Nodding at Sully he waved good bye to Davis as he walked toward the subway. Liz didn't miss the hesitant look in his eye as he passed her. Quickly bidding farewell to the other two men, she followed Bosco toward the underground stairs.

"Bosco! We need to talk." He slowed his gait but didn't acknowledge her. Pulling up next to him Liz walked down the cement stairs struggling to find a place to start.

"We just talked for two hours." He knew what they needed to talk about although that didn't stop him from playing dumb. Liz rolled her eyes as she scanned her MetroCard and followed him through the turnstile.

"We need to talk about this morning." She followed him down the platform and away from a crowd of people that had gathered on the other side of the turnstiles.

"What about this morning?" It was weak but playing stupid was the best defense he had right now. There was no one else in this world that had the potential to hurt him as much as she did. The thought was frightening and after this morning, he decided the best option would be to build a wall around those feelings and hope that they eventually faded away.

If he wasn't going to cooperate she was just going to start talking. "Look, I didn't know Chris was going to be there. Really, I didn't know Chris was going to be around at all. We ended on bad terms and I figured we were done. He wants to try again and I don't know, I guess it's worth a shot. I just…"

She didn't sound so sure and on the inside he was pleased. An involuntary memory of them lying in bed next to each other flashed behind his eyes, as his body was filled with familiar warmth. He wanted that so bad, to feel that way all the time. He couldn't tell her that, though, what if she didn't feel the same? He had just started putting the shattered pieces of himself back together. Something like that could fracture his already weak emotional psyche beyond repair. He wasn't willing to take that risk, at least not yet.

Turning toward her, he grabbed her by the shoulders so that they were squarely facing each other. "Liz, I don't care about your personal life. I just…" The sound of the train rumbling through the tunnel made him hard to hear. "I just need you to be there for me. What we're doing here, it's serious and I need to know that no matter what you're going to be there. Can you promise me that?" The train burst into the station causing the platform to vibrate. They stood there, staring at each other as a rush of wind caused Liz's hair to blow around her shoulders. Bosco looked at her, his eyes filled with sadness and desperation. He needed her in more ways than she knew but right now all he could focus on was making Brian Jackson pay. They were silent for a moment, the lights of the train causing a flashing around them as a blur of faces whizzed by.

"Of course I'll be there for you. I'm you're partner, I'll always be there for you." Bosco had to look away. It hadn't been much more than a year ago when he had said those exact words to Faith. _'I'm your partner. I was there for you, I'll always be there for you.'_ Keeping the emotions at bay, Bosco let go of her as the doors of the train swung open and a sea of people flooded their moment of privacy.

Offering her a weak smile he shrug his shoulders. "That's all I need." It wasn't even close to what he needed and every part of him screamed it. Never one to shy away from confrontation or the truth, Liz wanted to lay it all out there. Right here and right now. Forget about the stained white tiles, the sound of water dripping through the ceiling, or the smell of trash that came up from the tracks. Forget that they were in a crowd of strangers and facing a long road that could end up with them both labeled as traitors and exiled from the only thing they knew. Forget all of it. The only thing that held her back was the fragility of an existence that he had just started to rebuild. She couldn't shatter that for her own selfish needs. It wasn't fair. She didn't know if he needed her because it was the only thing he knew or because he felt the same connection she did. So she let it go. Maybe one day, just not today.

The moment was over. Glancing toward the train Bosco gestured, "You getting on?"

Liz snapped out of it to realize that she was on the wrong side of the platform. Shaking her head, she replied, "No. I need to go to the other side."

"Ok, then. I'll call you. We'll work something out." With that he stepped onto the train and the doors shut. It was a quick exit that he was thankful for. The longer he stood there with her the more he wanted to breakdown. She had that effect on him. The train jumped forward as the driver released the brakes. Holding onto the pole, Bosco glanced over his shoulder. The train moved forward but he still saw her standing there. Watching until they disappeared into the tunnel, Bosco pinched his eyes shut. This was going to be harder than he ever could have imagined.

* * *

It had been two days since he left Liz standing on the platform at 125th street. She called him yesterday and said that she was taking Atlas out to the academy to see if he could still cut it. Bosco kept his fingers crossed that the dog would pass the necessary testing and they could go through with this. He had met up with Callahan the night before. As promised, their boss would do anything he could to make this happen. If Atlas could do it, he would make sure Liz got the K-9 job at the 55. Before starting he just wanted to meet up them both to make sure their stories were tight. Even though Bosco had caused him a lot of trouble, Callahan had proven himself to be more than helpful. He was better than Bosco could have asked for, especially under the circumstances.

Tonight, he and Liz were going to go to Hunt's Point to try and find the hooker. It was a long shot, Bosco knew, but they needed to start somewhere. Sitting back on the couch he looked at the box in front of him on the coffee table. He needed to accept this. The fantasy in Brooklyn was over and he had just crash landed back to reality. No matter how much it hurt he needed to face the fact that Faith was gone. Looking back at the box, he had decided to look at one thing in it everyday until it was empty. Reaching in he pulled out the first thing he felt. The glossy finish of a picture clued him in as he pulled the small square out of the box. Blinking he turned it over. A sharp pain radiated through his chest as he stared ahead. It was a picture, but not just any picture. It was a picture of him and Faith sitting on the hood of 55 David. They were parked under the FDR at the fringe of the precinct on a hot summer night. Closing his eyes, Bosco was thrust head first into a bittersweet memory.

" _Oh man…we've been running hard all shift."_

_Pushing the hair out of her face, Faith leaned out the passenger side window. It was hot, really hot and the A/C in the car had been broken for the last two days. They had been running from call to call all afternoon, and now, as dusk settled over Manhattan, they finally found themselves in a lull._

" _What do you say we get something to eat, park under the highway for a while?" Casting a glance, she hoped that he knew where she was headed with this._

" _Officer Yokas are you suggesting that we duck calls?" Bosco's face broke out into a smile. He had been thinking the same thing for hours and had been wracking his brain trying to figure out a way to convince her to go along with it. Turns out she didn't need much convincing at all._

" _I didn't say that…I'm mean we've had what six calls in the last three hours? Have you seen Sully at any of them? Let him take a turn…"_

" _Whoah…Whoah…Do you really think you need to persuade ME to duck calls?" Bosco shot her an incredulous look that caused Faith to break out into a fit of giggles._

_Thirty minutes later they were parked under the FDR. Above them cars made a swooshing sound against the cement of the overpass. The sounds of the neighborhood echoed in her ears as Faith realized that their peace would most likely be short lived. On hot nights people didn't want to stay inside so they flooded the streets and laughed, and argued, and fought, and eventually shot each other. It wouldn't be long before a call of shots fired came over the radio. For now, though, they would enjoy a rare moment of peace._

_The sound of a siren echoed in her ears as Faith snapped her eyes open. Pulling up next to them 55-Charlie, came to an abrupt halt. Sully was pissed._

" _Having a nice break, Bosco?" Rolling his eyes, Bosco threw the apple he was eating on the ground as he wiped his hands on the front of his pants. Leaning back against the car he made sure to project a sense of indifference._

" _Uh..Yeah. I sure am."_

_Sully didn't know why he was so mad. It was the status quo for Bosco to lay down on calls. "It would have been nice if you had backed us up on that accident. We had to do eight reports!"_

_Bosco faked concern as he rolled his eyes at Sully. "We all get a break, Sully."_

_Stomping back to the car, the older man threw over his shoulder, "Yeah except mine never lasts two hours!"_

_Bosco laughed at Sully's gross exaggeration. Even Faith couldn't help but to crack a smile. A couple of weeks ago Davis had bought his first camera phone and he was all too eager to use it. Pulling the toy out of his pocket, he aimed it at Bosco and Faith. Naturally Faith smiled, as Bosco was quick to plaster a smirk across his face. Snapping the picture, Davis put the phone back into his pocket._

" _I think I'm going to call that one '55-David in their natural habitat'." Faith and Davis broke out into a laugh as Bosco tried hard to keep a straight face. Getting back into the car, Davis winked at them. "See you guys later." 55-Charlie sped away with an irritated Sully at the wheel as Bosco and Faith were once again left in their moment of peace._

As the memory faded Bosco realized that he had completely forgotten about that night until just now. He couldn't believe that Faith had a copy of that photograph. Shaking his head he set the glossy paper down on the coffee table as he closed the box. That was enough for now.

* * *

Liz had briefly spoken to Bosco about tonight but otherwise had not heard from him since they parted ways in the subway. She missed him. It came as sort of a surprise although it shouldn't have. They had been together constantly for the last few months; she had gotten used to having him around. It didn't help matters that Chris had been hanging around more than usual. What she had with him was nice and she didn't want to ruin for a big maybe.

"You look good." Her daydreams were interrupted as she flashed Chris a smirk through the mirror.

"Shut up." She was dressed like a hooker. Coming up behind her he put his arms around her waist.

"No I mean it. Why don't you ever dress like this for me?" The playful glint in his eye made her smile as she shook her head.

"I have to finish getting ready." Pushing back, Chris rolled his eyes.

"What's with this new partner of yours? Bosco? I thought you didn't want a partner." Liz didn't miss the jealousy in his voice. He was right, though, she didn't want a partner. After Dave, she was more content to work by herself than get involved with a steady source of aggravation. Bosco was different, though, whatever aggravation he brought she didn't mind.

Shrugging her shoulders she tried to appear casual. The last thing she wanted to do was start something with him right now. "Nothing. We worked well together undercover now we're working on some other assignments." She had no plans of telling Chris what they were really doing. It wasn't his business. In addition to that she had only been back a couple of days and still couldn't get a good read on him. His intentions had shifted dramatically from what they had been in the past and she couldn't help but to have a certain sense of suspicion.

Snorting, he rolled his eyes. "Whatever." She could pursue this right now and they could fight or she could let it slide. Narrowing her eyes at him through the mirror she watched as he walked toward the door grabbing his coat. "I'll see you later. Have fun with your partner." Shaking her head she knew that he was jealous, she also knew that he could get over it or move along. She wasn't about to compromise anything for him. He had been more than happy to drop her before Brooklyn and just because she was back didn't mean that all was forgotten. Her life had changed, like it did every time she went under, only this time is really changed. While she didn't know where she stood with Bosco, she did know that Chris was on thin ice. She was going to give him a chance, not two.

It was hot outside as Liz teetered on three-inch heels. Sitting in his mustang, Bosco waited for Liz with a certain sense of nervousness. He needed to find this girl; he really needed to find her. Bending over, Liz crawled inside the car. She had imagined Bosco would have such a car. Glancing over her general appearance he let out a laugh.

"You're a pretty convincing hooker." Liz rolled her eyes and acted offended as she quickly changed the subject.

"A mustang, huh?" Peeling his eyes off her scantily clad body, he refocused himself on the glowing lights of the dashboard. His car…he loved this car. Now, he was indifferent to it. The car was part of past life that he barely recognized. He would have just as well taken the train or walked to meet her but it was more socially acceptable to drive a car when trolling for hookers.

"Yeah." His response was short as his attention was clearly somewhere else. Letting it go, Liz settled into the leather seat. Winding the window down she let the warm air blow her hair as they cruised south toward Hunt's Point. After some discussion, it had been decided that she would look for the girl on the street while Bosco drove the track. They were least likely to raise suspicion that way and Liz thought it might work better. She also thought that they would have better luck since she was woman. Usually these girls are intimidated by two men whereas they a woman sometimes has better luck.

Bosco pulled the car over a couple of blocks north of the avenue. They sat there in silence for a minute. Glancing over at him, Liz could see the nervousness in his features. He wanted…no he needed this to work out. It was a critical first step what would be a long, hard, and emotional journey. Even though their connection had cooled off slightly, she was still saddened by the battle he was constantly fighting.

Reaching across the console, she took his hand in her own. The gesture surprised Bosco. He was immediately filled with a sensation of warmth although he was careful not to let himself enjoy it too much. She had a boyfriend; she wanted to be with him. She was his partner but he didn't have unlimited emotional access to her like in Brooklyn. This wasn't undercover; it was reality. Hesitantly he met her eyes, "We're going to get her."

Somehow, someway she always knew exactly what to say. A sad smile crossed his features as he let go of her hand. Getting out of the car, she slammed the door. He watched her walk toward the track before pulling out.

When Liz looked at the picture of Lysette she immediately recognized her as the girl from Todd's apartment. Jason's girlfriend that was none too pleased about having to leave. Liz knew that Bosco had also looked at her picture and wondered if he had made the connection. It didn't really matter either way. She doubted that the woman would recognize her dressed like this and even if she did Liz would use that to her benefit. Give her a couple of seconds and she could spin a story about her and Todd cutting her man off, maybe even throwing his ass in the clink. It was a card she didn't want to play but would to get what she needed. In addition to the picture, Liz also obtained her sheet. It was pretty typical; the only thing standing out was the lack of arrests. Either this girl was really good or really new. Going over the some other choice facts, Liz organized the information in her head. Street name Lola, two priors for possession and one for prostitution, and most interestingly a tattoo of a dragon on the side of her neck. Discernable characteristics were good. Adjusting the blonde wig on her head, Liz walked around the corner. Immediately she was immersed in a scene of scantily clad girls, suspicious looking men, and red taillights. Walking down the sidewalk she scanned faces for the right one. Over her shoulder she saw Bosco turn the corner and come back around the track. Cruising slowly behind her he was ready to jump out if Liz gave him the signal.

Stopping to lean against the building, Liz hoped that she didn't look too suspicious. White plunging tank top, scant black shorts, and heels that seemed to shoot for the moon were slightly too refined for the locals. In Brooklyn, many of the girls had been around her age so she fit in better, here the girls were just that; little girls. Some of them didn't look much older than twelve and instead of strutting their stuff in the usual hooker fare, they wore whatever, however. Some of them were dirty, others were in tattered, ripped clothes. Pushing off the building she needed to forget it, she had a job to do here. Strolling up to a group of older girls she tried to appear nervous and in need of a fix.

"Hey, you guys know where I can get some blow?" Make them think you're just like them and they'll be more likely to help.

The girls looked her over, before one casually replied, "Guy on the next block is usually holding. Ten bucks for a blast…" she trailed off a smirk coming to her face, "Sometimes he trades, you know, if you don't got any cash. It's not bad when you need to get started." Liz estimated that the girl was probably fifteen or sixteen; so young to be lost in a world like this. Resisting the urge to give her a swift talking to right on the spot, Liz nodded her head and smiled.

"Thanks." The girl gave her a slight smile before turning back to the group. An unspoken sisterhood existed among women of the street and with a half convincing get up and casual attitude Liz had gained an inch on them. Give someone an inch and they'll take a mile. Turning back she indifferently added, "Hey you haven't seen Lola tonight, have you?" The girl thought it over before gesturing toward the other side of the street.

"I seen her over by JB's earlier." Looking up, Liz's eyes landed on a flashing neon sign. 'JB's Corner Store'. A run down bodega that was ground zero for hooker invasion. Walking into the street Liz saw Bosco coming up the track as she made eye contact with him. Stopping the car, she leaned inside the passenger window.

"Hey baby you lookin' for a party?"

Bosco laughed a real, genuine laugh before rolling his eyes. "Yeah."

Liz leaned further in to the car, careful not to be overhead by any one of the women circling around. "I think she's over by JB's," nodding toward the ghetto market Bosco shifted his gaze. Scanning the faces he didn't immediately pick her out but that didn't mean much.

"Check it out. I'll go back around, if it's her wait for me." Nodding Liz pulled out of the window but not before adding her own special touch to the encounter.

"Fuck you, asshole. I'm not givin' out free-bees here!" Bosco cracked a smile as he drove away. Behind her, Liz heard a couple a women chime in their approval. No matter what the situation, she always found a way to blend right in.

Crossing the street, Liz smiled at a couple of horny drivers before focusing back on the task at hand. A group of girls were standing around the corner near JB's although none of them were the one she was looking for. Disappointed she began brainstorming just a car pulled up and a light skinned black girl got out. Leaning through the window she collected her payment before the driver took off. Her long hair cascaded around her neck making it impossible to see a tattoo. Liz stepped back against the building hoping that she would step out into the streetlight. Pushing her hair back, Liz was able to catch a glimpse of her neck and a black dragon. It was her. This was it. Walking over to her, Liz reviewed a story that she had concocted earlier. On one of the arrest reports, a girl named Kristen was rounded up with her. Maybe they were friends, or at the least acquaintances.

"Lola?" The woman turned, eyes landing on Liz with a sense of fear. Squinted her eyes in the dim light; she tried to form some kind of memory. Liz was relieved when a look of confusion took over her face. At least she didn't remember her as a cop. "Hey, I'm one of Kristen's friends."

"Kristen?" Oh shit, maybe that wasn't the right way to go.

"Yeah, remember last month you and Jason were there." Oh now she was reaching.

She thought it over before turning away. "I don't know you." Shit. Liz followed her as she saw Bosco coming up on the right. Tucking her hair behind her ear she hoped that he didn't miss the sign or more obviously the way she was chasing a whore down the street. Speeding up a little, Bosco pulled the car into an alley blocking the sidewalk as Liz closed in. Jumping out of the car Bosco was ready to chase if she ran.

Turning the other way, Lysette was surprised to find Liz right behind her. All possible exits blocked she stomped her heel. "What the hell is this?"

"Get in." Bosco opened the door as Liz provided the order.

"Fuck you. I'm not getting in there." Just as mouthy as she remembered, Liz was losing her patience. Any more dramatics and a crowd would start to form.

Flashing his badge the girl was clearly deflated as her fears were confirmed. "Cops? God damn it."

"Now get in, we don't have all day!" Liz pushed the girl into the backseat among a chorus of protests. Crawling back into the car, Bosco and Liz slammed the doors. "Let's get the hell out of here."

"If y'all gonna arrest me the you might as well just do it. I been down there before I'll be down there again."

Pulling the heavy earrings out of her ears, Liz pulled off the wig letting her own hair fall down. "Relax. No one's getting collared."

"Then what the hell is this?" Neither Bosco nor Liz answered her as they left Hunts Point headed toward Manhattan. Bosco didn't know where he was driving, but Liz had told him not to stop. The longer they drove around, the longer this bitch had to stay with them. She might be desperate but she probably wouldn't jump out of a moving car. Eventually the girl calmed down and the car was quiet.

"Lysette," Liz turned to face her and for the first time a flicker of remembrance flashed across her face.

"You're that cop, from Todd's place." It didn't really matter if she identified her now. They were obviously cops, Bosco showed her his badge for Christ's sake . "I knew you were a cop. Ratty ass wig and all." Bosco smirked as Liz tried to control herself. She thought her outfit as pretty good.

"Lysette, we need to talk to you. It's important. You saw something and we…" Before she could finish an exasperation sigh arose from the backseat.

"Not this bullshit again. I done told them other two I didn't know anything. I never should have said anything to that asshole in Vice."

"But you did," Liz was trying to be as calm and even as possible although she knew what was on the line. "You did, and we need you to tell us. Please…"

"I ain't sayin nothing. As soon as you start talkin' cops be dragging you into court and all kind of bullshit. Whoever this Yokas is, she just goin' to have take care of this mess herself."

The mention of Faith's name made both Bosco and Liz stop cold. She knew, she really knew. A switch flipped inside Bosco as she slammed on the brakes. Pulling the car over, he jumped out slamming the seat forward. Reaching into the backseat, he grabbed whatever he could dragging the girl out of his backseat.

"WHAT THE HELL?" Pulling her up onto the sidewalk Bosco checked her into a brick wall.

"Listen to me, bitch. She's dead, alright! FUCKING DEAD! So she can't take care of anything. I need to tell me what the hell that cop said to you, NOW!" Liz came up behind them.

"Bosco, stop!" This really wasn't the best way to go about doing things, but she knew that all of Bosco's buttons had just been pushed. The look on Lysette's face was a mixture of fear and confusion. Pushing back off the wall, Bosco paced back and forth as the girl was too afraid to move.

"Look, Lysette, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that." What the hell? Liz did a double take to make sure she was hearing things right. Taking a deep breath, Bosco closed his eyes. "Faith Yokas was my partner for thirteen years. She was my best friend and someone killed her. Another cop, someone I know. I'm going to make them pay if it's the last thing I ever do but I need your help. You don't have to testify, you don't have to come, but I need you to talk to me." He paused a wry smile coming to his face. "You can also tell me to piss off but this is going to be a lot harder without you. So I'm begging you, please, please help me."

Liz could not believe what had just happened. Apparently neither could Lysette. Straightening up, she adjusted her skirt. Regarding Bosco with a cautious curiosity, she finally spoke, "Nobody's ever apologized to me and really meant it."

Bosco shrugged his shoulders. He didn't have anything left to give. If she didn't take that, he was out of luck.

"What you want to know?" At that moment the heavens opened and Liz could have sworn that the light of God was shining in the south Bronx. Bosco had come through with a last second hail mary that she never could have anticipated.

"Are you hungry? Have you eaten today?" Liz knew that most of the girls went for days without a meal, saving all their extra cash to chase the dragon. Shaking her head, Lysette appeared ashamed as a monumental shift in attitude took place. "Let's go." Without a word they got back into the car.

Twenty minutes later they were sitting in a booth at Chaing Mai's on Grand Concourse deep in the middle of a Bronx wasteland punctuated by addicts, unsupervised children, and abject poverty. It was one of the worst neighborhoods in New York and apparently Lysette living just around the block. A product of her environment, Liz didn't miss the way she gauged their reaction to the area. Unfortunately she was disappointed as this only reminded them of a home that no longer existed.

"How long have you been out there?" Liz tried to show some genuine interest to break the ice.

"About five years. I didn't really have a home growing up. I never knew my dad and my mom was on the rock. We lived over on 161st until I was about twelve then we lost our house and I had to go live with my aunt. We fought all the time, so I left. Lived on the street for two years until this guy rolled up on me one day. Said I was so pretty and he wanted to date me." Liz was surprised at how willing she was to share information although she didn't stop her. Bosco's truth filled plea had fostered a level of immediate trust between them. "It was nice for a while." Her voice trailed off as she looked down at her hands. "One day he brought some friends over and said if I wanted to stay there with him I would have to do what they wanted." She paused. "Couple days after that I as out on the track, been there ever since."

It was a sad story and one that was all too common. "You guys don't want to know about all that, though."

Reaching into his pocket Bosco produced a photo of Brian Jackson. Setting it out on the table he gauged her reaction. "Have you ever seen him?"

Taking the photo she slowly shook her head, "No." He waited a second before he produced another picture of Scott Geidel. Immediately the recognition was apparent. "Yes. This is the guy."

Bosco let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, "Tell me what happened."

Lysette took a deep breath as she set the picture aside. Looking out the window she slowly began, "I was on the track, this guy pulled up. He asked me how old I was. He looked like a cop so I wasn't really to hot for it but I hadn't scored yet and I really needed a blast to get out of the gate, you know." Heroin. Liz figured she was on something, maybe crack but she just looked too clean for heroin. "So I get in the car, and he drives off the track into an alley. I do my thing but in the middle of it he gets all weird, you know?"

Bosco nodded, eager for her to continue. "I ask him what's wrong and he said he's had a rough couple of weeks. I keep going, then he starts telling me about him and his partner…they were crooked, ripping people off and whatever. Your partner, she saw them do something, so they killed her; to protect themselves. As I finished him off he said 'You didn't deserve it Yokas'. I was freaked, I didn't know what to do."

Bosco stopped her, "You're sure he said 'You didn't deserve it, Yokas.'"

She made eye contact with him, "I'm sure. He said it twice."

Bosco sat back in the booth and exhaled loudly. Their food came and they ate in silence. When they were done, Liz pushed her plate away and exhaled loudly. "We'll keep you out of this as much as possible, Lysette." The girl cast a nervous glace at Liz as she finished eating the fried rice.

Leaning in to the center of the table, Bosco lowered his voice. "Thank you. You didn't have to do that, but you did. Thank you."

Liz didn't miss the slight embarrassment on her face. It had been a long time since a man was level with her. "Is there anything we can do for you?"

Confusion overtook her features, "What?"

"Have you ever thought about getting into a program?"

She rolled her eyes, "Yeah. They always get ignorant with me and then I got to walk out."

Pulling out her phone, Liz scanned the list. "I know a woman. She's really good and she runs her own program."

Lysette shook her head doubtful, "I don't know."

Scribbling her number down on the napkin Liz passed it across the table. "At least check it out. She used to be a prostitute so…" Bosco didn't miss the flicker in her eye as she eyed the napkin carefully.

"GEMS?"

"Yeah…" Liz didn't push it any further as Lysette stuffed the napkin in her bra and got up.

"Can I go?"

Bosco nodded. As she turned to leave Lysette stopped abruptly, "Why didn't you lie to me?"

Bosco turned and eyed her carefully. Shrugging his shoulders he didn't really have any sort of dazzling explanation. "Because...it wasn't the right thing to do." She stood there for a moment staring at him like he had just landed form outer space. A cop and a man who actually treated her with some respect. She couldn't believe it. Without another word she walked out of the restaurant the bell on the door jangling behind her.

When she was gone Liz let out a whoosh of air. "Jesus! That was close."

Bosco nodded lost in thought. He had a good idea of what he was going to do next.

* * *

The next night Bosco was crouching in the space between two buildings waiting for a certain person to emerge from the subway. Glancing at his watch, he wiped the sweat form the back of his neck. It was early August and the heat was oppressive even at night. Leaning against the bricks, Bosco waited. Coming up the stairs he saw a flash of dark hair as a familiar figure neared his hiding place. In one swift movement he came up out of the crouch and grabbed the man by the back of his shirt. Off balance and not expecting an attack, he stumbled as Bosco shoved him into the dark crevice.

Of the two it didn't take a genius to figure out that Scott Geidel was the weak link. Armed with the information of last night, Bosco was going to start chipping away. Liz didn't know about his little side trip and he didn't care. As soon as those words had come out of her Lysette's mouth he knew exactly what he was going to do.

Pinning Geidel on the ground Bosco brought his face so close that he was whispering in the man's ear. "You mother fuckers thought you got rid of me, huh?"

The sheer terror that Geidel felt at that moment was unparalleled. Bosco. He knew this day was going to come. Sooner or later Bosco would come around and make this thing right, he told Brian those exact words! Now it was happening and Bosco would not stop until they paid.

Pulling a picture of Lysette out, he held it up to Geidel's face. "You know her?" Sputtering, his eyes widened as Bosco wedged his knee against the man's throat. Putting the picture away he leaned in again with a deadly whisper, "Well guess what I do, and if you think you're going to get away with this…" He trailed off. He didn't want to give him too much but he wanted to scare him enough to shake something loose. Getting up he sneered at the man quivering on the ground. Walking backwards toward the street, he paused before disappearing around the corner. "Watch your step, man. I'm back."

**Above Lyrics are Ed Sheeran's "The A Team"**

**I love reviews and I haven't got many lately. I hope everyone is still happy with the direction of the story. If you're reading, please take a minute to let me know what you think! It makes me write faster!**


	20. Battle Scars

" **Last Exit to Brooklyn"**

**Author:** carmen_085

**Disclaimer:** All Third Watch characters are property of NBC. All original characters belong to me

**Summary:** After a terrible tragedy changes his life, Bosco goes undercover to find redemption and justice in the most unlikely of places

**Author's Note:** I appreciate those who took the time to review. I hope you like this new chapter!

**Chapter Twenty**

" _These battle scars, don't look like they're fading_

_Don't look like they're ever going away_

_They ain't never gonna change"_

Bosco sat on the swing watching Emily draw circles in the dirt with her shoe. A few feet away Charlie played with another boy his age on the jungle gym. It was a sweltering hot day as the black gym shorts stuck to the back of his legs. Rubbing the sweat from the back of his neck, he leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees. Out of the corner of his eye he watched as Emily turned something over in her head.

He was kind of surprised that she called. On the phone she didn't sound upset or scared, her voice had been even and frankly he was relieved. Another screw up by Fred with the kids and there as no telling what he might do. Still there was something on her mind and the longer they sat there in silence, the more nervous he became. Exhaling loudly Bosco reached over as he ran a hand through her hair.

"What's wrong?" His voice was sad and concerned at the same time. The last thing he wanted to see was Emily and Charlie suffering anymore than they already had. Staring at the ground, Emily refused to look at him. Gently turning her face toward him, Bosco's heart broke when he saw the tears in her eyes. "Talk to me." His voice was barely above a strained whisper.

Blinking a few times Emily stared at him before she finally spoke, "Do you miss her?" Bosco felt the air rush out of his lungs. Did he miss her? Only every minute of every day. He missed everything about her; especially the things he took for granted. The way she rolled her eyes when he said something stupid. Or the careless banter in the car. How she knew exactly what he needed to hear so many times. And the subconscious way she would lean into him when they were in a dangerous situation. He missed the friendship, the companionship, the trust, and most of all the partnership. Glancing at Emily he stifled the desire to tell her that. She was, after all, a child so he kept things simple.

"I miss her, Em. I miss her all the time." It was the best he could do. Jumping off the swing Emily stood in front of him crossing her arms over her chest. Her eyes were glassy with tears as both anger and confusion radiated from her frame.

"I asked Daddy if he missed her and he said we weren't going to talk about it. But I want to talk about it!" Her lower lip quivered as she mustered all the indignation an eleven-year-old girl could.

Bosco didn't know what to say. On one hand he wanted to give Fred the benefit of the doubt and believe that maybe the subject was still too difficult for him to discuss. But then he came to his senses and realized that Fred mostly likely didn't want to talk about it because he didn't miss her. Faith was out of the way and he was free to move on with his mistress as he pleased. Meanwhile he left his kids to deal with this tragedy on their own. Staring into Emily's face Bosco felt his stomach turn over. The whole situation made him sick. Getting up off the swing Bosco walked over and sat down on a picnic table Emily following him. Taking a deep breath he needed to put his personal rage for Fred aside and deal with this in the most tactful way possible.

Bosco took Emily's hand in his own as he made a point to look her right in the eye. "Emily, your daddy is dealing with this the best way he can. I'm sure he misses your mommy but he's sad too." A lie and one that he was sure a smart child like Emily would see right through.

"Daddy doesn't seem sad when he's with Trish." Bosco felt dizzy and sick. That bastard; that dirty bastard. Taking a few deep breaths Bosco stared out at the playground searching for what to say next. Glancing back at Emily's face he decided to be completely honest with her. It worked with Lysette the night before, maybe it would work again.

"Look, Emily I'm not going to lie to you. I don't know what your daddy's problem is; but I do know that I miss your mommy very much. I miss her everyday, Emily. I see a place where we used to go and if I close my eyes it's like she's there and I'm there and none of this ever happened." Emily's eyes widened but she didn't say anything. "Anyway, I just want you to know that if you want to talk about your mommy, I'm always here to listen. I'm always here if you or Charlie need anything…anything at all."

Bosco pulled the black hat down over his eyes suddenly a little embarrassed at how honest he was with her. It felt good but it also made him feel exposed in a way that he wasn't used to. Emily sat there in silence thinking it over before she finally spoke again.

"What do you miss the most about her?" Staring down at his shoes Bosco thought about it for a minute before answering.

"I miss…I miss just talking to her. I want her to be there for me when I need her and she's not." Truthfully he missed everything about Faith, good and bad but a quick glance at Emily made him think that answer would not suffice.

Sighing loudly the young girl looked out at her brother playing on the monkey bars. "I miss her coming into my room after she got home from work and kissing me goodnight. Sometimes I used to pretend that I was asleep…" She trailed off a twinge of guilt in her voice. Bosco smiled slightly Emily felt guilty about ignoring her mother; he felt guilty that it was Faith and not him who was dead. When you're little you have little problems and when you're big you have big problems. His grandmother always used to tell him that and it was never more true.

"EMILY! CHARLIE!" Bosco snapped his head up to see Fred crossing the street toward the park; his heart starting beating faster at the anticipated confrontation. Emily jumped down off the picnic table suddenly nervous that she had done something wrong. Fred walked up looking angrier than before when he realized they were there with Bosco. "What are you doing here?"

"It's ok, Daddy. Bosco's here with us." Inwardly Bosco smiled. In their world he was still a good guy, trustworthy and decent.

Bosco could see the look of disgust pass across Fred's face although he didn't comment. "Ok. Get your brother and go home." Emily stopped considering the penalty for defying her father before relenting. Turning back she waved to Bosco.

"Bye Bosco." Smiling at the girl he waved back before meeting Fred's gaze.

Waiting until the kids were safely across the street Fred turned back toward Bosco. "You know, Bosco I can't understand why you just keep showing up. We don't need you."

Sliding down off the picnic bench he was eye level with Fred. "Are you sure about that? You're taking care of your kids, Fred? Giving them everything they need?"

Fred snorted in disbelief. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Bosco shrugged, "Oh I don't know maybe you should pay more attention to them and less to her." The inference of another woman made Bosco's tongue burn. He could care less about Fred but despised the idea of Emily and Charlie having to call another woman 'Mom'.

Fred's eyes flashed with anger and Bosco wondered if he might haul off and deck him right there on the playground. "Last time I checked, Bosco, you were in no position to tell anyone how to live."

He was kind of right as Bosco suddenly felt a pang of guilt. Taking a deep breath he shook it off; that was behind him. "Well I'm back now and I'm looking into Faith's death. We have some reason to believe it might not have been an accident."

Fred rolled his eyes as he left out a sardonic laugh. "Are you kidding me? You really believe that?" Bosco didn't know what to do; he did believe it but suddenly couldn't help but feel somewhat foolish. Narrowing his eyes, Fred sneered at him. "You want someone to blame for Faith why don't you try and look in the mirror?"

It stung and Bosco couldn't hide it. Turning Fred started back across the street. Stopping he threw over his shoulder, "And while you're at it why don't you start minding your own goddamned business!"

He stood there for a moment watching as Fred disappeared form sight. Deep inside he could feel the anger bubbling. He despised Fred but surprisingly the person he loathed the most was himself. Turning sharply he made a beeline back toward his car. Slamming the door he jammed the key into the ignition. His heart was pounding as his knuckles turned white on the steering wheel. No matter how many steps forward he took, something or someone always shoved him backwards. Just when he felt even a little ok about everything he blinked and he was back at the start and he hated himself for that.

* * *

Scott Geidel sat on his couch in the dark. It was nearly noon but with the shades drawn it could have been three in the morning for all he knew. Needless to say he hadn't slept much. After his run in with Bosco he was near panicked. He knew this was going to happen, he told Brian all along that Bosco would come back and make things right. Now he was back and Geidel was more than a little worried.

Everyone at the 55 knew how close Bosco and Faith were and Geidel had little doubt that Bosco would rest until the truth was out. Leaning forward he rested his head in his hands. He thought about going to Jackson but what would that do? His partner has already made it clear that he didn't care about anyone or anything. He also thought about going to IAB and airing this whole thing out but then an image of Tommy and Christina flashed through his mind and he quickly reconsidered. He couldn't live with the guilt, though; it was eating him alive. He thought about Faith Yokas every day and while he wasn't directly responsible for her death he knew that he could have stopped it. He SHOULD have stopped it. But as usual he didn't have the balls to stand up to his partner and he hated himself for that.

Flipping the phone open he dialed a familiar number. "Yeah, Lieu, I won't be in today. Got the flu or something." Closing the phone he stared straight ahead. He wasn't sure he could go on like this for much longer.

* * *

The church was quiet as Liz knelt down in the back. Closing her eyes she rested her forehead on the pew. She tried to be as regular about going to mass as possible although undercover life sometimes prohibited that. Like most people her need for church seemed more pressing in times of uncertainty or need. Today was one of those times. In a couple hours she was going to start at the 55 with Atlas. She knew that Bosco was depending on her. If this didn't work out she wasn't sure the he would be able to go on with his life. He couldn't protect Faith, he couldn't save her and Liz knew that hurt him more than anyone could say. But if he also couldn't find justice for her…Liz wasn't sure he could handle that. So she needed to do her best. Really she needed to do better than that because after everything they'd been through together she couldn't bear the thought of letting him down.

She talked a good game but inside she was nervous. She had never tried to work a cop before. The typical playbook was only so applicable and that worried her. Skels and addicts were easy, another cop was going to be a challenge. Really, she didn't know where to begin. Hopefully she would get lucky and an opportunity would present itself sooner rather than later.

Another thing that was weighing heavy on her mind was Chris. They had been fighting over the past few days here and there. For whatever reason he wanted to know what she was working on with Bosco. No…he needed to know what she was working on. Every time she saw him he pressed her about it. She wasn't sure why but thought that perhaps his undying need to measure himself up against her was the cause. He could not stand the thought of her being more successful on the job than he was. Honestly she didn't know why she was still with him. They fought more than anything else and at a time like this he was becoming more and more of a distraction. It wasn't working and she needed to figure out what to do soon.

If she was completely honest she also missed Bosco. In Brooklyn things had been nice. She had gotten used to having him around all the time but now that they were back in the real world their relationship had cooled off considerably. Chris was probably a major factor in that although neither one of them had said anything about it. She wanted to talk to him like they talked to each other before. She missed having him there and she missed being there. Right now she was closer to him than anyone else in her life and she just wanted to be with him.

Getting up she crossed herself as she slid out of the pew. She needed someone to look out for her right now. The hot summer sun beat down on her as she walked down the stairs of St. Raymond's church and out onto Castle Hill Avenue. Putting her sunglasses on she turned toward home. After today there would be no turning back; it was now or never.

* * *

Bosco slammed the door to his apartment as he took a deep breath. He needed to calm down. He couldn't let someone like Fred Yokas have this kind of effect on him. He needed to keep it together. Sitting down on the couch he closed his eyes taking a few deep breaths. Get it together! Opening his eyes he stared at the box sitting on the coffee table. Reaching into the box he pulled out a piece of construction paper folded in half. Running his fingers along the ragged edges Bosco unfolded the paper. As his eyes scanned what was in front of him he felt his stomach flip. On one side was a picture of two stick figures dressed like cops on the other side was a little story.

' _This is my Mommy and her partner Bosco. My mommy is a cop. She catches the bad guys and keeps us safe. I worry about her but I know that Bosco will keep her safe. I'm so proud that my mommy is a cop!' – Charlie Yokas Grade 2_

'I worry about her but I know that Bosco will keep her safe'. He couldn't take his eyes off those words until someone else's words took their place. 'If you want to blame someone why don't you try and look in the mirror'. They trusted him; they hoped he would protect her. But he didn't and now they had to live the rest of their lives without her. Fred was right; this was all his fault.

Anger began boiling up and Bosco stood. He hated himself for everything he did and everything he failed to do. And everything in this box was just another reminder of how he screwed up. Picking the box up he heaved it against the wall. Hitting the plaster with a thud the contents scattered on the floor. Running a hand through his hair he paced back and forth. 'I worry about her but I know Bosco will keep her safe.' He couldn't think of anything else.

* * *

Liz sat in the roll call room of the 55 with Atlas curled around her feet. Her uniform was the same one she had worn in Brooklyn as a rookie. It was broken and worn in all the right places and felt like home after so much time undercover. In addition to the uniform she had also altered her appearance by cutting her long hair. Coming just to the shoulders and curled under she also added bangs and for the street a pair of dark sunglasses. Although it was unlikely anyone from Brooklyn would find their way to the 55; she couldn't take the risk of being recognized in uniform. The Barksdale case might be dead but that didn't mean they wouldn't want revenge.

She had come in early to talk to the boss. As promised Callahan had made all the necessary arrangements with Swersky telling him that he needed to stash Liz somewhere until the whole Barksdale mess blew over. Callahan had welcomed Bosco with open arms when Swersky needed a favor and now, as predicted, Swersky was going to return the gesture for Liz. According to the boss, Swersky hadn't asked many questions and they were both thankful for that. Their meeting earlier hadn't been too long as they agreed on some basic information. Swersky was very impressed with Atlas calling the dog one of the most beautiful German Shepards he had ever seen. They also discussed the particulars such as orientation and post. For the first few days she and Atlas would ride with another officer to get the lay of the land after that they would either be assigned to a foot post or their own patrol car. She agreed that it sounded fine for now but ultimately she would push for whatever assignment brought her in the closest proximity of the Jackson.

Glancing up at the clock she tapped her foot absentmindedly. It was nearly three o'clock as members of the third watch began filing in. She made eye contact with them as they passed her with curious looks. Undoubtedly wondering where this new officer had come from she tried to appear as non-chalant as possible. When Sully and Davis sat down across from her they acknowledged her with a nod but nothing more. They had discussed this and decided to play it cool. Jackson was sharp and if he had even the slightly inkling that they knew each other his defenses would be up.

Atlas perked his head up at the scent of someone familiar giving Sully a long look before resuming his post under the chair. The room was full as Swersky breezed into the front. Looking around carefully she searched for Jackson. She had only ever seen the man's picture. She couldn't find him. He could be behind her, but it would be too obvious to turn around and look.

"Ok guys. Just a couple of announcements today." Swersky briefed them on the latest crime patterns and people to watch out for. She half listened not really concerned with her arrest statistics at this point. "And we have a new officer with us." Everyone in the room turned to look at her as she gave a small smile. "Liz Jensen is from the 7-6 in Brooklyn and she's going to be filling in the canine spot for us." She breathed a sigh of relief that Swersky decided to omit her extensive undercover work. No need for anyone to think she was anything but a beat cop with a dog. "Liz... I wanted to put you with Jimmy Keefe but he's in court today so…" He scanned the list in front of him. Looking up he eyed someone in the back of the room. "Jackson your partner's out sick today. You're with Liz and Atlas."

Liz heart skipped a beat. This couldn't be happening; she couldn't be this lucky. No way, no how. Turning around for the first time she laid eyes on a man standing behind her. He was big, probably six four, blonde, and cold. Forcing a smile, it was clear the he had other things he would rather do than give her a tour of the precinct. Turning back around, Liz smiled to herself. Maybe she should start going to church everyday.

* * *

Bosco cut the engine to his mustang about a half block from Geidel's apartment. It took him a couple of hours to get himself together after everything. He wanted to quit, to forget about all this but then he remembered Liz. She had never met Faith, didn't have a single emotion regarding the woman but she was putting her life on the line to find her killer all because of him. She wouldn't quit; not in a million years. So he couldn't.

Winding the window down, the stifling heat was broken up by a breeze coming off the river and for that he was grateful. Until Liz got herself into Jackson's good graces, the only thing he could really do was sit on Geidel and wait for him to screw up. At the very least he planned to severely rattle the man's cage. Maybe he would lose it and crack.

Up ahead Bosco scooted down in the seat as he saw an RMP pull up in front of the building. Watching silently he saw a familiar figure jump out of the driver's seat and head toward the door. Jackson. But where was Geidel? He saw another person in the car. Surely if it had been Geidel he would be the one going into this own house. The passenger door kicked open as a woman stepped out. It looked like Liz but it couldn't be. Her hair was short and a pair of dark glasses hid her face. Opening the back door, Bosco watched as a dog jumped out of the backseat and began nosing the ground. He couldn't believe it.

Liz looked down at Atlas perusing the grass as she scanned the area. Jackson had said as little as possible to her in the fifteen minutes that they had known each other. After a hasty introduction he informed her that he would be driving today and any other day they were partnered together. After they got into the car she expected him to give her a brief run down of the precinct but instead he pointed the car south and mumbled something about having to run an errand. She had some choice things to say but decided that it was too soon. She had been given a golden opportunity and she didn't want to blow it.

So instead she used her keen perceptive abilities to discern as much as she could. His face was a mix of anger and worry as they drove through the precinct. It made her think there was some kind of ongoing issue that needed to be handled rather than just an "errand". The anger was clear, that much she could see; the worry was strange, however, as it was mixed with something else; frustration, insecurity, fear. She couldn't tell. She assumed that they were going to the partner's house. It was either that, or a family member or some broad. But if was anyone else, she reasoned that this situation would have been taken care of in the eight or so odd hours this morning before the shift started. So it had to be the partner. When they pulled up she asked him if he needed her to come along which was met with a dirty look and a grunted "no". Looking up at the building, Liz scanned the windows for any movement. Blinds were pulled shut in most of them so it was hard to tell.

Turning back to Atlas she walked him a little further down the street. Scanning the area her practiced eyes looked for anything unusual. About a half block away they landed on a blue mustang. The windows were down. No one left their windows down in New York on the street no matter how hot it was.

Bosco slid down in the seat hoping that she hadn't seen him. He didn't really care if Liz saw him but he didn't want her to be standing next to his car when that bastard Jackson came out of the building. It was too strange for her to ignore, though, as she crossed the street approaching the car she saw some movement from inside. Dropping Atlas's leash she knew the dog would stay close. Pulling her gun out she cocked it as she approached the car. Leaning over to look inside she let out a breath.

"What the hell?"

Bosco looked at her. She looked good in the uniform. Short hair and bangs with the dark glasses he would never recognize her if he didn't know better.

"You gotta go. He can't see you over here." Putting her gun in the holster she bent over picking the dog's leash up.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"I thought I'd sit on Geidel for the day. See if he does something." Liz nodded it made sense. She also knew that Bosco was grabbing at straws to find something to do.

"Something's going on. I don't know what yet." She backed away from the car. This could screw the whole operation. Bosco nodded as he leaned back down in the car.

"Ok. Go!" Liz nodded as she turned back toward the other side of the road. Casting a glance at the building she saw no sign of Jackson. Slowly she walked back to the RMP all the while keeping one eye on Bosco and the other on the door.

* * *

Geidel jumped when he heard the abrupt pounding on the door. Glancing at the clock it was three thirty. He had little doubt who was there. Not moving he wondered if Jackson would go away if he didn't answer.

"Scott! I know you're in there!" No such luck. Getting up slowly, Geidel unlatched the door not making eye contact with Jackson. "What the hell is going on?"

Geidel shrugged. "I'm sick." Sitting back down on the couch he gave his partner a hard stare before refocusing on the beer in front of him.

"Bullshit!" Jackson went over to the window parting the blind carefully to see what Liz was doing. Walking around in the grass with the dog, she intently watched the building. "What's going on?"

"Nothing." Geidel stared straight ahead. It was no use even talking to his partner. They were beyond that. Like way beyond that.

Jackson felt a twinge of panic run through him. Normally he was the calm one and Geidel was the one freaking out. His flat affect was making Jackson nervous. Like he was planning something. "What the hell are you up to?"

Geidel didn't acknowledge him. A million thoughts ran through Jackson's head as he looked at his partner. Had he gone to IAB? Was he going to talk to the boss? What? What? WHAT? Paranoia kicked in full force as Jackson began to pace a little. He started talking nervously, "The boss put me with some bitch today and a dog." Geidel's face didn't change as he stared straight ahead. "I mean she's a fine piece of ass but…" Turning to him, Scott looked serious.

"I'm fine, Brian. I'll see you tomorrow." Jackson stopped pacing and rambling; the look on his partner's face unnerving him.

"Don't do anything stupid." He turned to leave. Just before he opened the door Geidel called out to him.

"He's back." Jackson stopped his hand on the doorknob. Blood ran cold in his veins for a second.

"Who?" He didn't need to ask he already knew.

"Bosco."

* * *

Liz turned her head as she saw Jackson come striding down the stairs. He looked rattled; there was no doubt about that. Something was definitely going on.

"Everything ok?" She smiled at him trying to seem concerned when she could actually give two shits less.

"Let's go." He got in the car without another word.

Bosco watched as they rolled down the street. When they were safely away he sat back up. He wanted to ask her why she was with Jackson. Before they showed up, Bosco noted that he hadn't seen Geidel leave for work so it made sense that Jackson needed a partner for the day. But why didn't Geidel go to work? It seemed too much of a coincidence that something was going down the day after he rattled Geidel's cage. Maybe the man's psyche was more fragile than he thought.

A few hours went by until Bosco saw Geidel emerge from the building. The sun was beginning to dull in the summer sky as he watched the man cross the street and get into a black car. This was too good. Waiting for him to pull out he followed at a distance. Looping out of the city and onto the Long Island Expressway, Bosco didn't really begin to wonder what the man was up to until he had been driving for a half an hour. This was strange.

* * *

Liz and Jackson didn't stop until it was dark out. Parking under the highway, he cut the engine rolling the windows down. They had only talked when necessary as Liz began to worry that this was going to be harder than she thought. He had given her a short run through of the precinct. But after driving around for six hours she thought that she would have had a pretty good handle on things even if he had said nothing. The silence was thick as she searched for a way inside. This day was a golden opportunity and she couldn't let it pass her by.

"Your partner ok?" She glared at him out of the corner of her eye. She wanted to make sure he didn't get any kind of ideas about getting a jump on her. She was sharp; he didn't stand a chance.

Jackson shot her a dirty look before finally answering. She was quick he would give her that. "He's having some issues. He'll be fine."

It was quiet again. She was going to go for it now or never. "I saw you guys lost someone a few months ago. Somebody on the third watch." She gave him the plainest expression she could muster.

Jackson searched her face for any hint of a lie. He saw none. "Yeah. Faith Yokas. Died in a traffic accident."

"Did you know her well?" She pushed further.

"Not really." He was stony only telling her the bare minimum.

"Still. It must have been hard." He shot her another dirty glare before turning the other way. "I read in the paper that cops from her own precinct were the first ones there and…"

"Hey why don't we try something different? Like you shut the hell up." Liz closed her mouth trying to look hurt but really feeling quite satisfied. She had struck a nerve with him.

The radio crackled to life in her shoulder. "55-George respond E-0 to a call of shots fired at 2509 East Harlem Drive, Apartment 205."

"55-George 2509 East Harlem Drive Apartment 205." Jackson slammed down the radio glad for the interruption.

* * *

The last hints of daylight dipped below the horizon as Bosco slowed his car to a stop in suburbia. He had tailed Geidel for nearly an hour before the man took the Brookhaven exit off the expressway. Careful not to be spotted, Bosco followed at a distance. Geidel never acted like he knew; making no sudden turns or attempts to shake him and rarely glancing in the rear view mirror.

Leaning down over the console Bosco watched as the man walked up to an average looking house. Fiddling with his hat he seemed nervous and unsure. Bosco had played several theories through his head regarding these two. What did they have against Faith? In all the time they had worked together he could barely even remember them speaking to one another. This distance as not an accident. In the beginning it just seemed that they were aloof and to themselves; looking at this as a job and not a family. Really Bosco was indifferent towards them. Then one day they were in a foot pursuit on the border of the sectors. Bosco closed his eyes remembering the way that his lungs burned in the cold air as he chased Jackson down the alley. It snowed the night before and Bosco lost his footing on a patch of ice. By the time he got up, Jackson and the kid he was chasing had disappeared into one of the buildings. He looked but there was no sign of them. Just about to radio the other cop he was surprised when Jackson appeared just in front of him. Back turned the other way, he appeared to be shuffling through something.

" _Hey man, where the hell did you go?"_ The other cop spun around, clearly shocked to see Bosco standing there. In his hands was a wad of cash. Bosco eyed the money before looking back up at Jackson.

" _I…uh…"_ He folded the money up in his hand as Bosco continued to watch him play with the bills. _"I lost him in there. Dropped this as he was running."_ A lie. Bosco had been a cop long enough to know when someone was lying. Jackson wasn't even that good at it. Giving him a hard look he wondered if he should press it. He would never rat out another cop; it just wasn't him. Shooting the other man a disgusted look, Bosco walked past him back to the street. That money would never see a voucher slip and he knew it. When he got back to the car he didn't say a word to Faith but from that point forward he purposely avoided 55-George when possible. He wouldn't blow the whistle on them but he also wouldn't be apart of whatever it was that they were doing.

Opening his eyes again, Bosco wished that he had blown their shit sky high when he had the chance. Out of all the theories, the one he kept coming back to was that Faith saw or heard something she wasn't supposed to. She never would have kept her mouth shut. Bosco smiled, she was a better person than him. Any day of the week Faith would have blown the cover off their shit and they knew it. So they killed her and they almost killed him. They made it look like an accident but it was anything but that.

Bosco had been thinking about this non-stop since Sully showed up in Brooklyn that night. He tried several other theories but this one kept coming back to him. If only he could prove it. Looking up he watched Geidel waiting on the stoop. Who lived here? The most likely option was some dealer that they were in business with. Still the neighborhood was kind of a throw off. Leaning over Bosco pulled his gun out of the glove box setting it on the passenger seat. The safety was off and it was ready to go.

His eyebrows rose as a young woman appeared on the stoop closing the door behind her. Her arms were crossed over her chest as she listened to Geidel talk. He wished that he had gotten close enough to listen.

"Please Christina, just let me see him for a minute." Geidel nervously shifted his weight from foot to foot as he stared at his ex-wife.

"You can't just show up like this, you know." Geidel nodded. He knew they had an arrangement but this was an emergency. Shaking her head, the woman leaned back into the house calling Tommy to the door. When the kid saw his dad he ran into his arms. Holding his son close Geidel whispered in his ear.

"Hey buddy. I missed you too." Looking up at Christina he mustered the most genuine look he could. "Can I talk to him for a second?" Reluctantly she nodded as he took his son by the hand leading him away from his mother. They walked around the yard talking about summer and Tommy going back to school. They talked about playing soccer in the park next weekend and if the boy needed any new school clothes. Taking his son by the shoulders, he squared the boy in front of him. "Tommy, I need to tell you something, ok?" The boy nodded unsure of what was coming next. "I did something I'm not very proud of."

"Are you in trouble?" It was the most logical question an eight-year-old boy could ask.

Shaking his head he looked at his son with a sad smile. "It's not like that. I let someone down at work and they died because of it."

"You're a good cop, Dad. I want to be just like you when I grow up."

Geidel's heart broke as he stared at his son. Taking a deep breath he took Tommy's hands in his own looking into his eyes, "Tommy you have to promise me something." The boy nodded eagerly. "Promise me that you'll always try to do the right thing. It's so easy to do the wrong thing in this world," he sighed, "So if it feels wrong or if it feels easy don't do it. OK?" The boy nodded not really comprehending the weight of his father's words at the moment. Pulling his son into a hug, Geidel whispered in his ear. "I love you, Tommy. Never forget that."

"I love you too, Dad." Standing up he ushered the boy back toward Christina who was standing in the doorway. His ex-wife stared him down clearly trying to figure out the reason for his impromptu visit. Geidel offered her a slight smile before turning to walk back toward his car. Turning around abruptly, he caught her before she could shut the door.

"Hey Christina." She paused. "I'm sorry….I'm sorry for everything." Turning he got into his car before she could reply.

Geidel's thoughts were a million miles away as he merged on the expressway. Flicking his eyes to the rearview mirror he saw the blue mustang tailing at four lengths back. Bosco. He knew that he was being followed since they left the city. He didn't care though. Bosco had every right to put the squeeze on him. They killed his partner for Christ's sake. He didn't care of Bosco knew where his family lived. Sure he wanted revenge but Geidel knew that deep down Bosco was a good man and he would never hurt his family. So he didn't care if he followed him, really he didn't care about anything anymore.

Tapping the steering wheel he couldn't keep doing this. He knew that this morning when he woke up. Still he couldn't do anything until he saw Tommy and Christina. He didn't say anything to them; he didn't want them to know what he was going to do. Glancing in the rearview mirror he smirked at Bosco. Following someone in a mustang. Really?

* * *

Liz leveled her gun as she followed Jackson in to the projects. Atlas was off leash but remained close beside her. There was a general commotion in the lobby as they headed toward the stairs. One floor up they heard the swift crack of a gunshot as Jackson turned toward her.

"You take the east stairs, I'll take the west." The elevator was in the lobby, throwing a chair in to the doorway she ensured that it would stay there. Hustling toward the other stairwell Liz hoped that they would be able to prevent the gunman from making a quick exit. The stairwell was dark as a yellow fluorescent bulb flickered overhead. Taking the steps carefully, she could feel Atlas right behind her waiting for a command. When she got to the top of the stairs she squatted down carefully opening the door a crack with the barrel of her gun. In the cinder block hallway she heard a familiar voice.

"Ricky? What the fuck is going on here?" Jackson. He knew the guy. Craning her neck she watched her partner re-holster his weapon. What was he thinking? Even if she weren't already suspicious of him, she would think his behavior to be reckless.

"Fuck you, Jack. You did my cousin dirty, man!" The other man stepped up to Jackson as he raised his hands in the air.

"You're cousin…." Before he could finish a gunshot rang out in the hallway. Liz watched as Jackson fell backwards gasping for air. Oh shit. They shot him. Immediately springing up she threw the door open. Looking down at Atlas she gave him the command.

"Get him." In a flash the German Shepard darted into the hallway flying through the air knocking Ricky to the ground. Liz followed gun held level as she saw another man come out of the apartment pointing his gun at Atlas. "PUT THAT GUN DOWN!" He spun around not expecting to see her there. "IF YOU DON"T STOP POINTING THAT GUN AT MY DOG I WILL KILL YOU." On the floor Jackson tried to catch his breath as Liz instinctively put herself between him and the man with the gun. Meanwhile Atlas was busy munching on Ricky's arm.

"GET THIS FUCKING DOG OFF OF ME!"

"NOT UNTIL HE PUTS THE GUN DOWN!" The other man looked at her with a familiar glint in his eye. He was trying to decide if he could take her. "DON'T EVEN FUCKING THINK ABOUT IT."

"JESUS CHRIST, SHAWN. PUT THE GUN DOWN." The man on the floor screamed as Atlas tightened his jaws causing blood to run all over the linoleum.

Finally the man put the gun down on the floor raising his hands to ceiling. Immediately Liz threw him into the wall slapping her cuffs on him kicking the gun toward Jackson who was still struggling to catch his breath. Pushing the man into the cinder blocks, Liz ground out, "Is there anyone else in there?" At first he didn't answer but then gave her a reluctant no.

"Atlas, over here." The dog immediately released Rickey and went to her side. Taking Jackson's cuffs off of his belt she cuffed the other man not paying much attention to the way he was howling in pain. Keying her radio she looked down at her partner, "Central this is 55-George we need back up and a bus at this location. We have a 10-13."

"It just hit the vest." It was the first thing he said to her and she took him at his word. Besides she had other things to worry about,

Nodding, she gestured toward the apartment. "I'm going to clear it." Atlas followed behind as she went room to room. There was no one else there although a window leading to the fire escape was wide open. Re holstering her gun she reasoned that someone might have jumped ship when everything went down. Going back to the hallway, she knelt down in front of Jackson. Ripping his shirt open she flipped his vest up. His white t-shirt was clean, no signs of blood. He was right; it just hit the vest.

Liz looked up as 55-Charlie accompanied by Kim and Bobby came down the hallway. Jackson waved the medics off as he struggled to stand. Taking in the scene, Sully looked at her. "What the hell happened here?"

Liz shrugged looking back down at her partner. "I don't really know."

* * *

Geidel sat quietly looking at the phone. It was dark now, probably near one in the morning. Picking up the phone he dialed an unfamiliar number.

"Hello?"

"Sullivan?"

"Yeah…who the hell is this?" Sully had stayed around at the house to help Liz with the paperwork as Jackson had finally consented to go to the hospital. He sensed that she had more to tell him but it would have to wait until later. She as a practiced undercover and would never take the risk that anyone at the 55 would clue into what they were doing. Now he had just gotten home and his phone rang. The voice sounded familiar but he couldn't place it.

"It's Scott….Scott Geidel." Sully's heart stopped for a second.

"Ok." It was all he could manage.

"Do you know where the old York Textile factory is?"

"Ah…yeah…It's on York and East 91st." This was beyond strange.

"Meet me there in thirty minutes. Come alone." The line went dead. Hanging the phone up, Sully stared at it for a minute. Maybe this thing was about to be broken wide open.

**Above lyrics are from Lupe Fiasco & Guy Sebastian's "Battle Scars" **


	21. Suicide Note

" **Last Exit to Brooklyn"**

**Author:** carmen_085

**Disclaimer:** All Third Watch characters are property of NBC. All original characters belong to me

**Summary:** After a terrible tragedy changes his life, Bosco goes undercover to find redemption and justice in the most unlikely of places

**Author's Note:** Well I'm sure this is a surprise. I have not forgotten about this story and I want to finish it no matter how long it takes. It is a story that I have turned over in my mind for almost ten years now. Thank you for those who have read and reviewed and wanted to see a resolution. Third Watch has been off the air but that world can always live on as long as we imagine it and write it. Thank you and please continue to review

**Chapter Twenty-One**

' _I wanted to believe_ _  
_ _As I watched your world_ _  
_ _Crumble in your hands_ _  
_ _I wanted to believe_ _  
_ _As you raised your glass_ _  
_ _To your last stand_ _  
_ _And I wanted to believe_ _  
_ _You would win_ _  
_ _The war in your head_ _  
_ _That I did not understand'_

Taking a deep breath in, Bosco leaned back against the building. Ducking down, he inched back into the shadows. Lightning flashed overhead as a clap of thunder echoed through the streets. It wasn't raining yet and he hoped that she would get here before the skies let loose. Glancing down at this watch, the display glowed one am. She had called him briefly after her shift was over and told him that she needed to talk. Frankly he didn't care, he was just happy to see her and even happier that she wanted to see him. It didn't matter what she had to tell him.

In the weeks since they had left Brooklyn, Bosco had come to several realizations about the new reality of his life. The most stark of these; however, was that no matter what happened he needed her. Somehow, someway he needed her there with him. She was his partner and his best friend. Whatever happened in this crazy world, he needed her there by his side. Sliding down the wall he crouched down in the darkness. After Faith's death he didn't think that he could ever care about someone again. He didn't think he had anything left inside of him to do anything except live, breath, and make it to the next day. And at first that was all he had, just enough to exist. But slowly everything started to come back and when it came back it was better than before because he had survived hell and in every sense of the word had been reborn.

Lightning illuminated his hiding place as a few drops of rain fell from the sky. He couldn't stop thinking about the night in Brooklyn after he broke down and told her everything. The way she felt next to him that night and the way he opened up to her was something he had never experienced before. He had never been that bare in front of someone and her acceptance meant the world to him. In all his life, Bosco had never been so honest or so exposed to someone. Not even Faith, at least not in the same way. No matter how close they had been, he had only been visible to her in flashes on rare moments when he let his guard down. At that time he had enough strength to keep the wall up, only letting Faith see him through an occasional crack. By the time he had gotten to Liz, the wall had fallen down in so many pieces that he couldn't put it back together. And the person she got was him; nothing else. And it felt amazing that someone knew him and accepted him just as he was.

Liz hurried up the steps from the 86th street subway station. It was beginning to rain as she crested the street. Pulling her hat down, she kept her gaze ahead although she was acutely aware of her surroundings. When she called him, it was obviously in the back of her mind that she could be followed. Either way she had to see him, had to tell him what happened, but mostly she just had to see him. Their time in Brooklyn had brought them closer than she had ever been with another human being, and their new reality of being separated wasn't just hard on Bosco. Checking behind her, Liz didn't see him as he stepped out from between the building and grabbed her arm. At first she tensed and readied herself to fight but those feelings quickly dissipated as she felt him pull her close. Wrapping his arms around her she felt a familiar sense of warmth come over her. For a moment neither of them said a word as Liz let her eyes slip close as she breathed in deep. A clap of thunder caused the buildings to shake slightly as Bosco finally found his voice.

"I didn't want to take a chance that you were followed." Her eyes fluttered open although she didn't move. Bosco loved the feeling of her next to him, loved how good she felt and how good she made him feel. Reluctantly he let go of her. She looked at him for a moment without saying a word. When she finally spoke he couldn't think of anything else but her, there with him.

"I was careful. I don't think he's up for it tonight." It was unspoken that "he" in this situation meant Jackson. Rain began to fall as Bosco turned away from the street.

"Come on, we'll go the back way." As he turned toward the alley, Bosco faltered for a moment as he quietly stared at her in the dark. Taking her hand into his he paused for a moment. This was her chance to pull back, say no, tell him it wasn't a good time. It was her chance to say that they were just partners, friends, nothing more. He sucked a sharp breath in as he waited for it.

Liz felt the tension inside of him as he stiffened next to her. Feeling the warmth of his hand against hers, she wondered what it all meant. And then she didn't. She already knew. Those moments that they shared in Brooklyn, those simple moments had transformed them. They were strangers, and then they were friends, and now they were partners. Partners on the verge of something more, something scary and beautiful that neither of them could deny. A momentary image of Chris flashed through her head, there was nothing there. Even if there was it was not match to the strength of the bond, whatever kind of bond it was, that she felt with Bosco.

Interlacing her fingers with his she didn't care what it meant. She just liked how it made her feel. Letting out a sharp breath, familiar warmth flooded his body. Just two days ago he told her he didn't want anything, nothing more than her help in findings justice for Faith. But it was a lie. He wanted more; he needed her. The closeness they had in Brooklyn was addicting and no matter how much he tried he couldn't resist it.

Rain was pouring down now as they stood still for a moment both enjoying a familiar sense of comfort. Looking up at him, Liz blinked back raindrops as an easy smile spread across her face.

"Hi partner." Bosco relaxed as he returned her easy smile. Opening his mouth, the words slipped out before he could stop them.

"I miss you partner." Immediately he wondered what he had just said. Liz was touched by his words and the honesty behind them. However she quickly realized the situation was becoming awkward.

"I miss you too, partner." Those words meant more to him than she would ever know.

"Let's go." Tightening his grip on her hand they disappeared around the building together.

* * *

Sully pulled up to the York Textile factory and cut the engine. A flash of lightning illuminated the streets for a moment before his surroundings once again disappeared into darkness. Letting an annoyed breath out, his nostrils momentarily flared. This was stupid. It was just plain stupid. This could be a set up; he had no idea what was going on in there. Reaching into the glove box Sully pulled out the revolver and opened the chamber. Staring down at what he already knew, he locked it with a click and sat it on his knee. Rain pounded on the car roof as he turned the ignition off. He didn't usually do things like this.

A cop he barely knows calls in the middle of the night for a meet in an abandoned building. That same cop is mentally unstable at best and also someone he's trying to prove killed a person. And not just any person, another cop; a friend. Clenching his teeth, Sully couldn't turn back now. He had to do this for Faith; she would do it for him. And he had to do it for Bosco; a person who had somehow pulled himself back from the brink. He always knew that Bosco was a tough son of a bitch, but the shear will he had to survive was something that even Sully had been taken aback by. And he had to do it for Liz; Bosco could not have found a truer partner than her. She was fearless and loyal and she was risking her life for a woman she never even met.

Sully got out of the car and slammed the door. Moving quickly he ducked under the overhang of the building. Looking behind him he was reminded that he was alone out there. No back up and nobody coming, in fact, no one even knew he was here. Taking a deep breath he didn't like this at all, but he sensed this could be a turning point that broke the case wide open. So he moved forward against twenty some years of intuition and experience.

The door to the building was rusting, dented, and offered little protection. At one time a chain padlocked had secured the entrance; however, it had been cut away long ago and was rusting on the ground. The door was opened just enough for Sully to slip inside without making a sound. Controlling his breathing, he squinted into the darkness as his ears strained to pick up any sound. In the thin rays of streetlight he could see abandoned equipment, a few overturned chairs, and various piles of trash scattered about. The roof was leaking something terrible as the sound of dripping water was all around. Although humid outside, the inside had a damp chill as Sully felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up. After seeing so much he rarely ever got scared, but he couldn't deny the apprehension he suddenly felt. Brushing his hand inside his coat his finger reached for the gun.

"Don't be shy Sullivan, come inside." He jumped backwards as a low voice broke the silence. Letting out a quick breath, Sully pulled the gun from his pants before he shot himself. Cocking the hammer, he tried to recover from the surprise. Sully's heart was pounding as he took a step forward. "Over here."

Sully immediately recognized the voice as Scott Geidel. He was both relieved and terrified in the same moment. Inching along a row of textile machines, Sully stepped over a pile of trash as he came to a clearing. Lightning flashed outside as the building was suddenly illuminated in bright white light. He looked right and saw nothing. "Right here."

When Sully looked left in the dim light he saw someone sitting on a chair rocked back. Turning he squinted into the darkness as another flash of white light caused him to suck a sharp breath in. There was Geidel sitting in a chair in his uniform, rocked backwards, feet up on an overturned trashcan. On his lap was his service piece, his finger on the trigger.

For a moment Sully didn't know what to say as the two men stared at each other. Geidel was first to break the silence with a rueful laugh. Throwing his head back he let out a long sigh. Lightning flashed as Sully momentarily saw the other cop's eerie form in the dark. His face twisted with a mixture of self- loathing and resignation as his shoulders slumped in defeat. This was his last stand.

"Fuck…."Closing his eyes he slowly shook his head side to side. "What the fuck did I become" Leaning forward the metal chair hit the cement with a clap as Sully snapped out of his trance.

"You know I think we've all asked ourselves that once or twice before." Geidel's eyes snapped up as Sully suddenly felt pressured to continue. "There's still time to make this right, though." Biting his lip Sully hoped that he hadn't pushed him too far too soon.

Geidel laughed a little as he shook his head. "Where's Davis?" Eyeing the door it was clear that he didn't trust Sully was alone.

Shrugging his shoulders Sully tried to appear as non-chalant as possible. "You said to come alone." Inside he was cursing himself for doing just that. This was the dumbest thing he had ever done. It was too late now though.

"How close were you with her? Yokas." Sully felt a chill run down his spine as he said her name.

Clearing his throat Sully took a moment to answer. "She was a friend. No one was closer to her than Bosco." Watching for his reaction Sully was pleased to see the way the younger man's body stiffened at the mention of Bosco. Twenty years of experience told him to keep going. "He's back you know, and he won't stop until he knows what happened to her."

Geidel looked away as a palpable tension grew between them. "You know it started and I thought nothing of it. Ripping off a piece of shit dealer didn't really bother me at all. And then it went further and he always….he just always needed more money." Shaking his head, a cloud of anger moved across his face. "He kept pushing it and pushing it and you know after a while I don't even know if he really needed the money anymore. It became an obsession and he controlled everyone and everything around him."

Sully opened his mouth to say something but was quickly interrupted as the trashcan flew across the floor. Jumping to his feet Geidel's body was taut with anger, turning Sully watched as Geidel mashed the pistol into his own chest. "And you know WHAT?! I NEVER FUCKING STOPPED HIM."

Instinctively Sully raised his own weapon as he stepped back a few feet. Someone was going to get hurt tonight. Geidel laughed a sinister laugh as he charged toward Sully stopping just inches from the barrel of his outstretched pistol. "DO IT! JUST FUCKING DO IT." Sully's hands were shaking around the gun as he sucked a sharp breath in. This was insane, he needed to find some way to get control of this situation. Taking another step in, Geidel stopped when his head was pressed against the wobbling barrel of Sully's gun. His eyes narrowed as darkness overtook his face. Rain continued to pound on the roof as a steady trickle splattered across Sully's forehead blurring his vision slightly.

The warehouse flashed to white as Geidel brought his own weapon up to his temple. Lip curling up his voice came out low and taunting. "Do it, Sullivan. Or I will."

Panic began to rise up in Sully, not because the sick and twisted man in front of him might kill himself but that this could end and he would never know why. Faith was nobody to them; just another cop on the third watch. Why did they have to kill her? She had friends at the 55; like him and Davis. They respected her and would have her back no matter what. She had a family; kids that needed their mother. And she had a partner; who would have moved heaven and earth to keep her safe. She never did anything to them; why did they have to kill her?

Taking a deep breath the panic inside Sully was replaced with anger as he stared down the disgusting piece of shit in front of him. Geidel was nothing but a coward and a pussy. His hand steadied as he felt a sense of determination. Fuck this and fuck him. Cocking the hammer of his revolver he pressed the barrel against the younger man's forehead. He was taking this as far as he had to get the answers he needed.

"Tell me why you had to kill her." His voice was low and deadly; the games were over. Geidel's eyes fluttered closed as a rumble of thunder shook the building.

"Alright…alright we were ripping off dealers. At first it was fun, really fun. I was taking home five thousand a week sometimes." Sully looked away for a moment as an image of Ty Sr. flashed through his mind. "And then it went to ransacking DOAs. One time I pawned this guy's watch for ten grand." Sully felt his stomach turn by a level of corruption not even he could have imagined. Geidel let his gun down to his side as he leaned into the barrel of Sully's. "What did I care? The dealers are trash and the dead don't need their watches. Who were we hurting?" Lightning flashed again as Sully caught a momentary glimpse of remorse in Geidel's face before the evil darkness returned to his eyes. "And then he killed someone; a dealer who wouldn't pay. We dumped his body in the East River; weighted down of course. I didn't want to do that."

"Then why did you do it?" Sully was in disbelief. This went a lot deeper than he thought.

Geidel sighed loudly, "I had no choice. He would have killed me. Sullivan, you have no idea how evil he is." Sully's breath hitched in his throat as he let those words sink in. An image of Liz flashed through his mind. He has every confidence in her ability to protect herself; even more so than Faith. Liz was used to being alone with dangerous people; but still he worried as an involuntary urge to protect her suddenly surfaced. It caught Sully off-guard, as he never expected that. He had just met her but yet there was something special between her and Bosco that he wanted to protect.

A rookie cop could see how quickly Geidel was coming unraveled. He didn't have much time to waste. "I don't give two shits about how many dealers you idiots knocked off. I'm here because I want to know what happened with Faith."

Geidel's shoulders slumped as he walked away from Sully's outstretched gun. "Yokas….Jesus. She really didn't deserve it." Turning his back he walked in circles with no particular direction. Putting the gun down on a metal table it clattered. Leaning against the table, his whole demeanor changed. "One of Jackson's dealers was Kenny Long. Piece of shit that lived over on Lex and east 96th. He was skimming off the top, Jackson got pissed and we went over there one night to collect. Things got out of hand and he killed him. I know…big fucking deal."

Sully let his pistol drift down to his side as the mood in the room completely changed. Opening his mouth he shook his head; it didn't take much to finish this story. "And Faith saw it." Eyes drifting shut for a moment he was cast into a flashback.

_"Sully, can I ask you a question?" Putting his fork down, Sully wiped his mouth before regarding Faith with a sense of curiosity. He thought that something might be going on with her. Last night after the shift when he and Davis passed her sitting in the RMP she definitely looked rattled._

_"Sure, Faith." Pushing his own plate away, Sully leaned back as he waited for her to continue._

_Faith appeared to be choosing her words carefully until she shook her head and just blurted it out, "What would you do if you thought someone was dirty?"_

_Out of all the things that she could have potentially asked him at the moment, that was definitely the last thing he ever expected to hear. Taken somewhat aback, Sully took a moment to respond. "Well, um…Wait a minute, Faith. Are you in some kind of trouble here? Because if you are then we need to tell the boss." Sully leaned forward, his face contorted with a mix of confusion and concern._

_Faith shook her head briskly. The last thing that she wanted to do was take this to the boss. Jackson killed Kenny because he was skimming; what the hell would he do to her? She had seen enough to launch an IAB investigation that would no doubt land him and his partner in jail for life. Seeing Davis, return from the bathroom Faith abruptly discontinued her line of questioning. "Never mind, Sully. It's nothing."_

It wasn't nothing. It was something and now that he knew why he needed to know how. Shaking his head Sully let out a sigh. He knew how. George Ramirez had told him months ago. Bosco stopped, Jackson pushed him into the intersection, and Faith took the hit. An accident that was no accident. Sully realized that he already had the answers he needed; in fact he had had them all along. The only thing he didn't have was proof. And this was his one shot. He needed to convince Geidel to testify to all this. And then maybe Faith would have the justice she deserved.

This wasn't going to be easy; Geidel was unstable at best. Stuffing his gun back into the waistband of his jeans, Sully began to take the situation down a few notches. He had to be careful; this just wasn't some nut he was dealing with. This was a cop and not just any cop; one that could be very valuable to him.

"Listen, Scott." Geidel shot a cold look at Sully. He wasn't going to fall for some soft talk that easy. "Faith is dead. Nothing any of us do is going to bring her back. But her kids and her husband….and her partner deserve to know why." His expression softened momentarily as an image of Tommy and Christina flashed though his mind. "I know you didn't want to do it, and I know if you could have stopped him you would have." Geidel didn't want to do it; he thought about that fake 911 call everyday. Why didn't he just say no? "I've been looking into this, I've found a lot of evidence against him. All I need to put him away is you."

Geidel felt the anger seep out of him as Sullivan's words began to have some strange effect. "If I do that I'll go down right along side him and you know it."

Sully saw the cracks forming and went for the kill. "You testify against him and I'm sure you'll get a deal from the DA. I'll push for it; so will Bosco." Pausing he tried to drive this home. "She deserves justice. Only you can give it to her."

Nodding his head slowly Geidel took a few steps toward Sully. "You're right, Sullivan."

* * *

Liz was soaking wet but she didn't mind as the inside of Bosco's building was sweltering. Standing behind him she leaned against the railing watching as he worked the locks on his apartment door. He was thin; probably much thinner than he used to be. The last few months were hard on him and he looked like someone who had just survived some kind of terrible disease. In a way it was true. He had survived one of the worst diseases there is; guilt and self loathing; fear and never ending depression. Despite that his character never changed and the life inside him flickered but was not extinguished. He was stronger than anyone she ever met; and to be the person who was there in his weakest hour was something she would be eternally grateful for.

The door swung open as she followed him inside. His place was small but clean and sparingly furnished. She watched as he moved toward the bathroom. His wet t-shirt stuck to his gaunt but muscular frame. Closing her eyes she felt his hand in hers and their bodies against each other. Breathing out she opened her eyes to find him standing in front of her with a towel in his out stretched hand. Smiling, she hoped that he didn't see the redness in her cheeks. Taking the towel she moved toward the couch. Wiping the excess water off her arms she rung her hair out. Bosco watched as if this was the first time he had ever laid eyes on her. She was beautiful; he had seen that from the first time they met. But that wasn't it; the honesty, the genuine ease, the subtle sexiness that she exuded with every part of her was addicting and he couldn't get enough of being around her. She was confident and daring and most of all she was loyal. And she accepted him just the way he was; with every little flaw.

Liz could feel him watching her and she didn't mind. It felt natural and easy and there was no awkwardness between them. Leaning back against the cushions she relaxed as the stress of the day finally caught up with her. Eyes drifting shut she exhaled deeply. She could hear him moving across the floor as she felt him sit down next to her. Feeling his body next to hers, she scooted closer closing the gap between them. Bosco's breath hitched for a moment as the feeling of her next to him caused a warm sensation to flood his body. Eyes opening, Liz's gaze settled on the cardboard box sitting in front of her. Leaning forward she pulled the flaps back.

"What's this?" Immediately she felt Bosco stiffen next to her as she backed off and relaxed into the couch again. Their eyes met as guilt was written over her face. She didn't come here to dredge anything up. His face softened as his shoulders slumped. There were no secrets between them.

"It's ok." Turning toward her he put his arm across the back of the couch behind her head. Taking a deep breath in gestured toward the box. "It's Faith's. After you know," his voice faltered for a second. Without thinking she put her hand on his leg. When she realized what she had done she stiffened slightly. Feeling this sudden tension, Bosco slid his arm behind her neck and around her shoulders. A moment passed and then they both relaxed again; silently enjoying the physical closeness. "Fred never came to the house…uh…. after and they cleaned out her locker. The boss gave it to me."

"Have you opened it?" Her question was honest and filled with genuine concern.

"I…looked at one thing. It was hard. So I didn't…." His voice trailed off. Taking her hand off his leg she found his hand and interlaced her fingers with his. Hesitantly their eyes met.

"What if we look? Together." Bosco's face softened as raw emotion swept through him. How did she always manage to do this to him? Tears sprung up in his eyes as he was quick to blink them back.

"Everything's easier with a partner." Smiling she leaned forward and put her hand in the box. Her fingers felt clothing, an envelope and a folded piece of paper. Lingering on the envelope, it was sealed. It felt important; too important for their first step. Allowing it to slip through her fingers she withdrew the slip of paper. Handing it to Bosco, he hesitantly took it in his hand. Pulling his arm out from behind her he leaned forward on his elbows as he fingered the paper back and forth.

Liz watched him as she began to understand how truly emotionally crippling that box was. It was enough to shatter his whole world in an instant. Leaning into him she hoped that she could provide the support he needed. Unfolding the paper a sad smile spread across his face.

"It's a quote from Gandhi. Faith liked it; she said it reminded her why she became a cop." Handing the slip of paper to Liz, she absorbed the words.

' _Whatever you do in life will be insignificant. But it is very important that you do it'_

She watched as Bosco's breathing became ragged. His voice was soft when he spoke again. "She liked that because of the job. This job wears you down with all its bullshit and it feels like we do nothing all day. But you never know what insignificant moment can mean the world to someone else." He nodded seemingly pleased that he remembered all that. "It's what she used to say to me."

Liz let her hand trail across his back rubbing the soft cotton of his t-shirt. His hair was still wet and matted down as her touch caused goose bumps to rise up on his arms. Sitting back he put his arm around her shoulders again and pulled her against him. Her wet hair smelled clean as he took a deep breath. She was warm next to him as their gaze finally met. Bosco's heart was pounding and he was sure she could feel it through his shirt. Taking his other hand he ran his fingers down the side of her face. He didn't think as he leaned in closer and their lips met. It was soft and sweet and full of affection and trust. It was perfect.

They had kissed before but only for show. This was real. Reluctantly they parted as he ran his fingers through her hair. Kissing her forehead he pulled her close to him. The storm outside was worsening as rain pelted the windows. The lights flicked a few times before going off. Everything in the whole world was telling them to stay just as they were; to savor this moment for as long as possible. Resting her head on his shoulder she felt him pull her in closer. The warmth and affection she felt in that moment was intoxicating. Closing her eyes she felt his body relax completely next to her. They were safe as long as they were together.

* * *

Sully slowed the car to a stop as the light turned red. Casting a hesitant glance to the right he watched as Geidel fidgeted in his seat. It wasn't easy but he eventually convinced the younger man to come with him to the DA tomorrow. Part of that was he wanted to make sure Geidel got there in one piece. Leaving him with a loaded gun in a dark warehouse didn't seem like the best way to do that. Pulling out again the pistol he had in pocket of his door rattled. It was Geidel's; completely disarmed of course. The corners of Sully's mouth twitched up slightly. This was all going to be over after tomorrow.

Geidel watched as a very slight smile tugged at Sullivan's face. He was satisfied with himself. Rubbing his hands together the anxiety began to build inside of him. He couldn't do this. Sullivan started talking to him but he didn't understand what he was saying as Geidel began to fold up inside himself. The DA wasn't going to give him any deal. He was going to prison; just like Bosco did. But worse because he would be going there as a disgraced ex-cop, a rat, and nobody would be coming to get him out. He shuddered at the thought. He didn't know how Bosco had survived that; he knew damn well he wouldn't.

His heart was pounding in his chest as an image of Tommy and Christina flashed through his mind. He would get to them and he would kill them. And there wouldn't be a damn thing he could do to stop it. Locked away like an animal while his partner raped his ex wife and made his little boy watch. Feeling the bile rise up in this throat he choked back the vomit before it reached his lips.

This was a mistake. His whole career had been a mistake. Yokas deserved justice; he knew that. But he couldn't do it. He had too much to lose. Watching as the city whizzed by the window he felt completely disconnected from the world around him. His life was over. He couldn't go on living like he was; knowing all the people he had hurt. He also couldn't make it right; there was no making this right. No matter what he did someone was going to lose. Reaching down between his legs he had nothing left. This was the last moment of his life.

Sullivan had taken his gun but didn't check him for any other weapons. Unstrapping his back up gun from the ankle holster he brought it up under his chin. Out of the corner of his eye Sully saw the movement but was too slow to do anything about it. Reality slowed down for a second, as he looked left. Their eyes met for a moment as Geidel opened his mouth.

"I can't. I'm sorry." Sully let go of the wheel but it was too late. The loud crack of the gun went off as he blinked once. Warm fluid splattered all over the car as Sully felt sharp pieces of something cut his face. The car swerved as he hit the brakes. Skidding to a halt he left the air out of his lungs with a whoosh. Blinking twice blood was running down his face. It wasn't his though. In the passenger seat Geidel slumped over; half his head was gone. Putting the car in park, Sully got out. Staring at the macabre scene, anger rose up inside him. He was the key to breaking this wide open and now he was dead.

**Lyrics from Johnette Napolitano "Suicide Note"**


	22. Ho Hey

" **Last Exit to Brooklyn"**

**Author:** carmen_085

**Disclaimer:** All Third Watch characters are property of NBC. All original characters belong to me

**Summary:** After a terrible tragedy changes his life, Bosco goes undercover to find redemption and justice in the most unlikely of places

**Author's Note:** Thanks to those are still reading. I promise to finish this story. I can't not finish it, I've come too far. Another chapter that I hope everyone enjoys

**Chapter Twenty- Two**

" _I don't think you're right for him_

_Think at what might have been if you'd_

_Took a bus to Chinatown_

_I'd be standing on Canal_

_And Bowery_

_And she'd be standing next to me"_

**September 7, 2001**

The rain had finally let up although the air was still thick with late summer humidity. Sully wiped the back of his neck as he stared at the crime scene technicians pilfering through his car. Leaning back against the hood of an RMP he dropped his head as blue and red lights pulsed against the buildings. Glancing back up his eyes were drawn to the white sheet stained red hanging out of the passenger side of his car. The edge of it lay in the collection of dirty rainwater along the curb.

Honestly he couldn't say that he was surprised. At the factory it was more than clear that Geidel was a man on the edge. And honestly Sully couldn't blame him. He had everything to lose. He didn't know much about the man but he knew that he was divorced and had a kid. Like everyone else he was the job and without it he didn't have much. So from where Geidel sat there was no way out of this. Even if his guilt didn't eat him alive; Bosco would stop at nothing until he got justice and Geidel knew it. If he came clean he would go to jail and never see his kid again; that was of course if no one shanked him first. The choices he had made had taken him to the point of no return, and even though he had agreed to go to the DA with Sully they both knew that it would never happen.

So here he was. Their best shot at getting Faith justice was dead in the passenger seat of his car; brains splattered all over the windshield. Looking down at his shoes Sully let out a long sigh, "Crap."

"You could say that again." From behind him came Lt. Swersky's voice. Looking at Sully incredulously he chucked a thumb toward the crime scene in front of them. "What the hell happened here, Sullivan?"

For a moment Sully's brain raced. What was he going to say? There was no way they were turning this over to IAB, and that was exactly what the Lieu would want to do. That was if he believed him at all. Jackson and Geidel were no superstars around the house but it was also a stretch to think that they could murder another cop. Biting his lower lip, Sully couldn't let this one go. Not yet. They were so close and even though Geidel was dead there still might be a way.

Opening his mouth he reminded himself of his limited time spent in anti crime. The best lies are vague and stick close to the truth. "Sir, truthfully I'm not sure how this happen." That sure was hell wasn't going to satisfy Swersky. Casting a glance back toward his car he looked at Geidel's dead body and the mess he caused. Anger crept up the back of his throat as he narrowed his eyes. Dead men tell no stories; to hell with him. Sighing for dramatic purposes Sully forced himself to look the Lieu straight in the face. "He's been having a lot of problems at home. With his wife and kid, you know the divorce and all. It's been hard on him."

Swersky couldn't hide his surprise, he had no idea Geidel and Sullivan were close. Seeing this Sully was quick to up the ante. "Guy I know up in Bronx Vice. Worked at the 55 about a million years ago with me and Ty. He called me a couple weeks ago. Said he snagged one of our guys on a sting. Didn't want to make a big deal of it. Asked if I could pick him up no questions asked."

A look of understanding dawned on Swersky. Sully was encouraged as he continued with the bullshit. "So you know, I pick him up. He's a mess, Lieu. We went for coffee after that. Told me what's been going on. I felt bad. So I told him to call me if he ever needed anything." It was so flawless and actually half true. Jackson sure wasn't going to come out with the truth. "Anyway I guess things got worse at home. Wife moved out; told him not to come see the kid anymore. You know he called off yesterday and the day before." Lieu nodded. This was so much easier than he thought it would be. "He called me late, I picked him up we drove and talked. I took his gun but apparently he had a back up gun." Sully paused acting like it really tore him up. "He…it was over before I could do anything."

There it was. A bitter taste rose up in his mouth. He wasn't a liar. Especially not to his superior officer; and despite his mistakes he believed that Swersky was still a good man. So it hurt to do this and he felt slimy; no better than Jackson and Geidel. But this was a means to an end he reminded himself. The only thing that mattered was that they got justice for Faith, her kids, Bosco; and everyone else who was putting their life on the line. And when he said justice he meant the kind that only they could get; swift, lights out, no holds barred justice. To hell with those IAB rat bastards

Swersky sighed. "Another cop gone. It's only been six months since Faith. I just…"

Sully nearly vomited at the mention of Faith and Geidel in the same sentence. Two cops gone; yes, but that's where the similarities ended. One was a hero, a mother, a wife, and more than anything else a partner. The other was a cheating, lying, weak piece of shit. Biting back a curse on his lips Sully forced a grim expression.

"Yeah..." Looking away he was afraid that the Lieu would see the disgust on his face.

"Ok Sully. Let me give you a ride home. You'll have to come in and make a statement tomorrow and your car…."

Holding up his hand he waved the Lieu off. "No boss, you have enough to do here. I'm only a couple of stops away." Gesturing toward the subway Sully had no desire to sit across from the Lieu for another 20 minutes working up polite conversation about poor Scott Geidel. He also needed to find Davis, Bosco and Liz.

"You sure. It's really not trouble." Chucking his car key at the Lieu Sully turned toward the train.

"I'll be in tomorrow morning to give my statement."

Swersky watched Sully walk away before turning back to the mess in front of him.

* * *

The bar was dark and dingy. Typical Brooklyn. Looking around in disgust he scanned the crowd for a familiar face. Seeing a figure hunched over the bar he slid through the crowd pulling a stool out. The older man acknowledged him with a curt nod.

"Figure a big star like you wouldn't be caught dead in a shit hole like this." Taking a sip of beer the older man regarded him with a smirk

Trying not to sound as a humble as possible the younger man didn't want to give his counterpart any reason not to help him. "Oh come on Collins, can't forget where you came from."

Pursing his lips Collins shook his head before taking another drink. "What do you want?"

Chris had been Collin's rookie in Brooklyn for one year before transferring to Manhattan to try and further his career. There had been no bad blood between them; aside from the fact that Chris thought he was too good to work in a place like Bed Sty. And maybe he was. Either way Collins didn't care. He couldn't give two shits about being a cop anymore as long as the drug money kept coming in. Like most of the cops in Bed Sty; not only did he actively rob as many dealers as possible he was also on the payroll for Andre Barksdale.

Pulling a photo out of his pocket Chris laid it on the bar. Casually Collins's eyes perused the women. "What about her?" He didn't betray that he knew her. First he wanted to know what this was all about.

Producing another photo of his soon to be ex girlfriend, Chris watched Collin's reaction. He smiled when he saw the older man's surprise. They both stared a photo of Liz in uniform sitting on the hood of Chris's RMP when he worked in Chinatown. Atlas was also in the photo sitting dutifully next to his handler.

Shaking his head Collins bit back a bitter laugh. "She's a fucking cop? That's just great." Pausing he looked at the photo again a smirk playing on his life. "Even the dog is on the job. Christ."

Chris was angry and he was jealous. He had been jealous of her the minute she got the operation in Brooklyn. But he waited and he made his own moves. They didn't compare to her but he tried. And still he waited for her. When she came back he knew something was different. Then Bosco showed up. The connection between them was undeniable; even a rookie could have discerned that. Last night he stopped by the 55 but she told him she didn't have time. A bad night, her partner got shot, whatever. He didn't buy it. He knew she going to see him. So he waited and he followed her. They didn't even see him across the street; the two of them completely lost in each other. His stomach turned when he saw her in his arms and the way they looked at each other. Truth be told he never loved her but he waited for her and she was his ticket. He had every intention of using her for bigger and better things in the department.

"Who was she running around with over here?" Chris pried. He knew it might be hard to get information out of Collins seeing as how the man was probably on the take ten different ways.

Collins weighed his options. He knew Liz, that was for sure, Barksdale's smart mouth bitch. All this time he thought she was some addict whore screwing her way through the organization. Taking a drink he had to give her some credit; she was a convincing undercover. "She's one of Barksdale's bitches. Worked in a bar of his over on Nostrand and Clarendon." Laughing he shook his head drinking. "He'll go nuts when he hears this."

Chris took the photos and put them back in his pocket. He knew where he was going next.

* * *

The first hints of daylight were just beginning to skim across the city as Bosco's eyes cracked open. His left arm was numb and his body ached but as he glanced left all that disappeared. His partner was still asleep cuddled against him. He watched her sleep; he couldn't believe that this was happening. After Faith died he didn't even think that he could go on living; let alone feel so much. He wasn't even sure how it was possible but he felt more now than he did before. Maybe it was because he didn't take the time to feel before; everything was taken for granted and moments were rushed through. At the time he thought he had forever. But the life he knew was cut short and rearranged so drastically he was forced to become someone new. And somehow, someway he did just that. Keeping the best parts of his former self he reinvented his life into something meaningful. More than that he kept the promise he made to God and himself that if he got out of that cold, dark cell he would find some way to put his life back together.

Liz had been a surprise in everyway. There were plenty of times when she should have given up on him but she didn't. She risked her life for him over and over because she believed in him. And now she was risking her life again for him, and this time he wasn't even there to protect her. They had to find a way to end this soon. Before someone else got hurt.

Bosco jumped slightly as his phone vibrated loudly against the coffee table. Reaching forward the display showed Davis in black letters against the green screen. It wasn't even six am, what the hell would Davis want this early? Swallowing hard it dawned on Bosco that something probably happened. His stomach dropped as an image of Sully flashed through his mind. Standing up he fumbled with the phone, a sudden surge of adrenaline making his fingers clumsy and his mind race.

"Yeah?" His voice was hoarse with sleep as he ducked into the bedroom and closed the door.

"Bosco it's Davis." There was a pause. Bosco was afraid to say anything; hoping that his worst fears wouldn't be confirmed. He breathed in and then he breathed out. Waiting for him to say it. He knew it was coming. The silence remained and finally he couldn't take it anymore.

"Yeah?" He hardly recognized his own voice as it came out more like a squeak.

"Sully wants to me meet us in an hour at the Pinehurst Diner." Bosco let the air out of his lungs that he didn't even know that he had been holding. Sully was ok. Davis was ok. Liz was on his couch. They were all fine. He could breath again.

"Alright…" Before he could say anything else the line went dead. Looking up Bosco saw his partner standing in the doorway. Her short hair had been tousled from sleep as her bare toes ran back and forth across his carpet.

"What's going on?" Her face was a mixture of concern and trepidation.

"Something happened. Sully wants to meet in an hour." She nodded as their eyes met. Bosco suddenly felt awkward for his display of emotion last night although it quickly dissipated when he saw the honest acceptance in her face. In all his life Bosco never thought that someone could know him better than Faith. Never thought that someone could understand him better than her. And the ironic part about it was that he would have never found that person unless Faith had died.

Everything in our lives has its moment. Sometimes that moment lasts forever; other times just a brief second. Either way Faith had had her moment in his life and just as fast as that time had come it was gone. And where he thought he would have a painful hole; a void that would last forever Liz came and she didn't fill the void, no one could. But her moment started in his life. And with that moment his life was transformed into something new and different; something he never saw coming. Looking at her he hoped that her moment in his life would last forever.

* * *

The morning sun was just beginning to cast a orange glow on the street as Sully settled into a booth near the back. The late summer heat was showing no signs of letting up as the back of his neck felt sticky. He hadn't made it home yet, nor had he had any sleep. The waitress wordlessly dropped a cup of coffee in front of him as he reasoned he must look just as bad a he felt. To say the night had been stressful would be an understatement. He wasn't exactly sure what would happen when Geidel called him. He was hoping that some how he could convince the younger man to go to the DA and set all of this straight. That was the best outcome; the worst was that it was all a set up and they killed him. What he got was somewhere in the middle. Sighing Sully stirred the brown liquid in front of him as he muttered under his breath, "Crap."

"You could say that again." He had been so lost in thought he hadn't even heard Ty walk in. The diner was mostly empty save for a few regulars sitting at the counter pouring over the newspaper. Eyes flicking to his partner Sully checked to make sure no one was around before he started talking.

"You call Bosco and Liz?" Davis wordlessly nodded as he slid into the booth. He hadn't been up this early in a while. Looking at his partner suspiciously, Davis looked out the window for a moment racking his brain.

"Scott Geidel is dead. Shot himself in the head." Sully's voice came out flat and matter of fact. No different inflection than if he said the sky is blue. Davis took a moment to process the information before nodding slightly. He couldn't say he was surprised, it was clear the man was slowly unraveling.

"How did you find out?" They had been at the house only six hours ago without a whisper of such. Thinking back he did recall that Geidel was missing at roll call and that's why Jackson and Liz were together.

Sighing loudly Sully shook his head as he looked out the window for a moment. Looking back at Davis he squinted his eyes as he looked at his partner. "He shot himself in my car." Davis's mouth gaped open slightly as he stared dumbfounded at his partner. He was too new in his career to realize the many implications of this. Before he could say anything the doorbell jingled as Bosco and Liz walked in.

Turning away from his partner, Sully watched as the pair walked toward him. For a moment he forgot about everything as he was completely struck by Bosco. He had never seen the younger man look as he did in that moment. The sun had finally come up and was shining straight through the diner windows as both he and Liz were cast in a warm glow. They smiled at each other as she said something that made him laugh. Their hands brushed against each other as they walked; seemingly blind to everything in the world except each other. Bosco's shoulders were relaxed, as his face displayed no hint of tension. His lips turned upward in an easy smile instead of his usual smartass smirk. In all the years Sully had known Bosco he had never seen him look so comfortable or relaxed. He had finally found a way to accept himself; accept every imperfection and just be happy and content. Eyes glancing at the woman behind him he reasoned that she was probably a big part of it. Davis got up as they walked over as Sully slid over to make room. Eyes still trained on the other two he watched as Bosco slid in and she wasted no time sitting down next to him, quickly moving in so that there was no space between them. She wasn't just part of the reason; she was all of it.

Bosco didn't miss the way that Sullivan was giving him and his partner a once over. He had been a cop more than twenty years. No way he didn't know that there was something between them. Smiling at the older man he didn't care. For the first time in his life he didn't care what anyone thought. He had found where he belonged; and that was with her.

"What's going on?" Liz eyed Sullivan suspiciously as she seemed oblivious to the side bar being carried on between Bosco and his older counter part. The same waitress returned dropped coffee in front of everyone as Sully gave a curt nod. Talking a sip of his own he wondered how Bosco would react. They all knew Geidel was their best chance at breaking this wide open.

"Scott Geidel is dead. He shot himself in the head." They both looked at him. Davis took a long sip of coffee waiting for the fall out. "He shot himself in my car."

"What the fuck?" Liz took a long sip of coffee as she shook her head ruefully. "Fucking pussy." Sully was a little surprised. She sure didn't hold back.

Bosco exhaled loudly as he dropped his head into his hands. "Are you kidding me?" Looking up at Sully briefly he was met by a look that said no. Folding his hand under his chin he looked out the window at nothing in particular. "I'm not surprised. I tailed him about a week ago. He drove all the way out on the island somewhere. Ex wife wouldn't let him in the house, the kid came out. He said a few things. Kind of struck me as a good bye." Liz crinkled her nose as she shrugged her shoulders; her disdain for the man rather evident. "How the hell did he end up in your car?"

They all looked at him expectantly. Sully surveyed the diner before continuing in a low voice. "He called me last night." He shook his head as if to confirm how crazy it sounded. "He called me and asked me to meet him at that old Textile plant on York."

Davis looked at his partner incredulously. "Why didn't you call me? He could have…" Before he could finish Sully stopped him.

"Killed me?" An uncomfortable look took over the younger man's features. He wasn't telling his partner anything that he didn't already know. Quickly glancing at Bosco and Liz their faces didn't betray a thing. Biting the inside of his mouth Davis sat back in the booth his inexperience apparent. Sully saw the deflated look on his partner's face as his youthful excitement withered under the glares of more seasoned individuals. They were all Ty once. Sully took a deep breath as he softened his face slightly, "I don't know….I was hoping I could get him to talk. I thought two of us would be intimidating; might make him do something crazy." Davis nodded. It seemed plausible although he thought Sully was just trying to make him feel better.

At the mention of getting Geidel to talk Bosco's ears perked up. "What did he say? Did he confess?" Leaning forward on his elbows he eyed the older man eagerly wanting to know. It did them no good; the DA would call it hearsay at best, but still he wanted to know.

"Two nights before Faith died she met me and Davis for dinner. You still weren't back yet." Sully closed his eyes remembering. The restaurant was crowded and people were yelling in Chinese, it smelled like grease. Davis had gotten up to the bathroom and Faith sat down pulling her chair close to him. She looked like she had seen a ghost. He should have known something was wrong. "She asked me what I would do if I thought someone was dirty."

Bosco's face dropped. "And you didn't do anything? Why didn't you help her?" Liz felt her partner tense next to her as she waited for him to jump across the table.

"Hang on, Bosco." He turned at her about to open his mouth. She raised her eyebrow at him as Sully watched the indignant anger fade. The effect she had on him was amazing. "Hind sight is 20/20." Bosco opened his mouth to say something but she kept going. "What if she asked you what you thought about someone being dirty? What would you do? Give every cop on the third watch a beating and shake down." She was right. A wave of nausea came over him. How could he be mad at Sully? Faith tried to tell him. His eyes slipped shut as he found himself in the RMP with her bouncing down Lexington. _'Bosco I need to talk to you'_ He didn't even give her the time of day. Shaking his head slightly a wave of intense regret came over him. That moment was one of the last moments of her life. And he didn't even give her a second.

Muttering under his breath he averted his eyes back out the window, "Sorry."

Sully paused for a moment. When he started talking again his voice took on a completely different tone. "Bosco I would do anything to go back in time and stop all this from happening." Bosco's eyes snapped toward Sully, for a moment they held each other's gaze. "I mean it. I would do anything to bring her back." Bosco's eyes misted over for a moment.

"We all would." Gaze shifting toward his partner he felt a wave of emotion come over him. "Even me." Liz saw him swallow hard as he looked down at his lap. Laughing a little she attempted to lighten the mood although her efforts were in vain. "If I had been there or known I would have stopped it. I didn't even know her," she laughed again although her voice wavered behind it. "You're my partner, Bosco. And you're my friend." Looking away for a moment she shook her head as she made eye contact with him. "You're my best friend. But I would give all that up and I would bring her back. I would do it just so you would never have to feel all that pain." Bosco couldn't look at her. He had never had someone who would give up so much just so that he would be happy and never feel a moment of pain. Blinking a few times he smiled at the sincere faces looking back at him.

"Thanks guys." It wasn't much but they all knew how he felt. Under the table Liz slid her hand into Bosco's. Offering him an easy smile she held his glance for a moment before looking back down at the table. Bosco looked at Sully and Davis; their concerned faces mirrored the honesty in his partner's face and in the moment he was beyond grateful that they were all here for him. They didn't have to do this but they wanted to and it meant more to him than they would ever know.

Sully had to admit that he was completely taken by Liz and the bond she shared with Bosco. In a short amount of time they had become completely inseparable. He wasn't sure if that was a product of time undercover or simply because they were meant for each other. Either way he was glad that Bosco had finally found his place in the world.

"Something was wrong that night. I felt it, but I wasn't sure. Faith was smart and I knew she would ask for help if she needed it. She never asked though and she didn't say another word of it to me. I just assumed that she was waiting to talk to you about it when you got back." Sully rubbed his hands back and forth before folding them and resting his forehead so that his gaze was directly downward. He regretted not helping her that night. He regretted not demanding that she tell him what was wrong. He regretted that he didn't stop all this when he had the chance.

"She tried." Bosco let a long breath out. "She kept trying to tell me something but I wouldn't listen." His voice was laced with guilt as he kept his eyes averted out the window. Liz watched his breath hitch as he relived the worst moments of his life. Squinting his eyes it seemed as if he was trying to remember something specific. "You know she kept saying she needed to talk to me about something that happened." Closing his eyes Bosco saw his hands gripped around the steering wheel as he drove down Lexington. He saw the early spring sun shining through the windshield and he felt the seat belt tighten as he accelerated. He could smell her delicate feminine smell; a smell that had subtly comforted him many times before. And then there was what she said to him; those last words he could hear them in his mind. Opening his eyes he looked at his friends who stared back expectantly. "She said, 'Bosco, Jackson and Geidel. I saw them'". He was silent for a moment before a realization dawned on him. Looking right at Sully he told the older man what he already knew. "She saw them do something. Something bad."

"She saw them kill Kenny Long." The tone of Sully's voice was matter of fact and final.

"That piece of shit dealer from over on East 96th?" The disbelief in Davis's voice was evident.

"He told you that?" Bosco had to know. He just had to. It didn't matter that they didn't have shit to take to the DA. He needed to hear it for himself.

Sully sighed. "He never actually said it. He alluded to it." He could see the disappointment on Bosco's face. "He said Faith didn't deserve what happened. He told me Long was skimming off the top and Jackson was pissed. They went to collect, things got out of control. They killed him. How Faith ended up there and saw all that I have no idea."

Liz could feel Bosco tense next to her. Looking out the window she watched as he turned something over in his mind. Bosco couldn't believe that all this; this whole fucking mess was because two dirty cops killed a piece of shit drug dealer. Kenny Long had a rap sheet as long as the Manhattan yellow pages; he and Faith had run him in at least ten times. Always holding dope or money, occasionally a gun, sometimes beating his girl, absentee father to God knows how many kids; that was Kenny Long, a bona fide waste of life. Then there was Brian Jackson and Scott Geidel. They were even worse than Long. Two cops sworn to uphold the law, to protect and serve, who were no better than the skels they arrested. Three pieces of trash, who all could disappear forever and the world would be a better place for it. That was what Faith gave her life for; a drug dealer and two corrupt cops.

Everyone at the table was silent. They all waited for Bosco to speak but he didn't as he was lost in thoughts so deep he forgot they were even there. Running his hand back and forth across his forehead he stared out the window. Closing his eyes he was involuntarily thrust into a memory.

_It was dark outside. The car was dark except for the CAD computer screen and the lights on the dash. Outside the plastic awning of a Chinese take out joint glowed yellow as the six train screeched and rumbled overhead. She had been quiet all night. Something was wrong. Glancing toward her he watched as she worked her lower lip._

' _What's wrong?' Her eyes flicked toward him before looking away again. Bosco watched as she said nothing. Something was really wrong. Reaching over he touched her arm gently causing her to turn and look at him. His voice was low and sincere as he stared at her face, 'Faith…talk to me.'._

_A tear slid down her face as she offered him a weak smile. 'I'm pregnant.' She exhaled loudly as a sob escaped her lips. Bosco sat back into the driver's seat a knowing look crossed his face. 'I can't do it, Bosco. I just can't. We don't have the money.'_

_He was quick to reassure her. 'You'll be fine, Faith. You and Fred will figure something out.'_

_She cut him off before he could say anything else. A wry laugh escaped her lips and she rolled her eyes. 'There is no me and Fred. He does nothing. He drinks, he can't hold a job down.' She sighed a long exaggerated sigh. 'I can't do it anymore. I can't keep it together. I don't know how I'm keeping it together now.'_

_Faith was the best person that he knew. She was the hardest working most self less person he knew. And it hurt him to see her struggling. Fred was useless; he had known that since the day he met him. She was the glue that kept her family together. He wanted to do something to make this ok for her. He wanted to fix it. Glancing at her frustrated tear stained face he felt sad and angry at the same time. She deserved so much better._

Bosco opened his eyes. Faith was the best person that he knew, and now she was dead. She was dead because of money and greed, lies and deception. At least if she had died heroically saving a child or some other innocent person he could at least attempt to accept this. If it was the last thing he did, he was going to find Brian Jackson and he was going to make him pay.

"You ok, partner?" Liz's voice broke into his thoughts. Gaze returning back to the table he nodded.

"Alright, how are we going to get this son of a bitch?"

* * *

Brian Jackson sat in front of Lieutenant Swersky. Yesterday had been a shitty day. First he gets stuck with Liz. Albeit a good cop, she asked way too many questions. Questions that he did not want to answer. Not to mention that he didn't want or need another partner. He didn't even want the one that he had. Which was really ironic because after falling into the shittiest sleep of his life after being shot at point blank range he was awakened by a call early this morning from the boss. At first he assumed that he was being summoned into the house to give his account of the night before. The tone of Swersky's voice said other wise though as he delivered the news that his partner was dead.

He had been Geidel's partner for five years. He couldn't really remember why they were partnered together but it stuck. At first they were like any other cops answering radio calls but then one day they had a DOA. Guy was a dealer over on Moultrie who got capped in a cut between two buildings. They were the first ones there and it was dark. Geidel was setting up the perimeter. He was alone with the guy. He checked his pockets looking for ID, what he found was a wad of cash. Turning his body toward the streetlight he counted almost five thousand. It was more than he took home in one month. Running his fingers over the bills he looked down at the man and then back up at his partner who was still busy. No one would ever know. Sliding the bills into his pocket that was it. From that day forward he was hooked and he stole every dollar he could get his hands on. He gambled, he lost money, he stole some more.

When Geidel found out what he was doing he wasn't happy. In fact he lost it; threatened to go to IAB. He couldn't even look at him. Scott was not like him; he was at his root a good man. But he was also a weak man. He said no and then he didn't say anything. Christina left him about six months later and he paid her bills and his own. It didn't take long before he fell behind. Jackson told him more than once to cut the bitch off. But he wouldn't listen. And then one day he took the money too. Remembering the moment Jackson could still see the sick look on his partner's face.

He wasn't sure if he was upset or not that Scott was dead. He certainly wasn't surprised. Ever since the whole Yokas situation, his partner was slowly coming undone. When he told him that Bosco was back; he knew that it was only a matter of time before things broke loose. He didn't really think that he would kill himself and certainly not in such dramatic fashion. Now only he knew the truth about Yokas. It was a relief that he didn't need to worry about Geidel breaking down and letting the cat out of the bag.

"Officer Sullivan states that Officer Geidel was having trouble at home and had spoken to him about this in the past." Jackson was jarred out of his trance by what Swersky just said.

It was news to him. Far as he knew Geidel had never spoken to Sullivan. Turning the thought over in his mind he ground his teeth back and forth. Sullivan, Davis, and of course Bosco planned to handle this themselves. Actually planned to handle him themselves. Let them try. He would never go to prison; he would kill all of them first.

"Yes sir." He wouldn't go down without a fight.

"He stated that last night Officer Geidel was upset and called him late to talk. He apparently told him that his wife moved out."

Jackson bit his lip. That actually happened a year ago but whatever. It sounded good and what was he going to say? 'No sir actually my partner and I killed Yokas and he couldn't take the guilt.' He went with it. "Yes sir I was aware that things were worse at home. He called off yesterday and I stopped by during the shift to check on him." It was true although his partner's well-being was the last thing he was concerned about. "I don't know what to say, boss." He conjured up a distraught face. "I just wish he had called me or said something sooner. I would have done anything for him…." He paused for dramatic effect. "He was my partner." Jackson loved to lie and he was good at it.

Swersky nodded; he had no clue. Jackson forced a regretful look as he looked down at his lap. He had decided. He wasn't upset that his partner was dead. He was actually happy. Yep that's right he was happy that he didn't need to reassure anyone. He was happy that he didn't have to listen to someone blither and whine all day. But most of all he was happy that the only living person in the world who had proof that he killed Faith Yokas was none other than himself. Today was actually turning into a glorious day.

* * *

He could hear his heart beating in his chest as he looked down at the gun in his hand. For the fifth time today he slid the mag out, looked at the ammo, and put it back in. He wasn't playing. The bitch resisted and he would shoot her right here. He was planning to kill her; just not out in the open.

Sweat beaded up on his forehead and slid down the side of his face. He couldn't believe this. He trusted her; she was going to help him…she was going to make him rich. The day he met Liz at the club he didn't really know what to think. She was sexy as all hell and for whatever reason he was drawn to her. He thought she had a habit and that was just fine for him because it kept her coming back for more. When she dropped the news that there was a boyfriend, an ex-cop who had all the best dope connections, he couldn't believe his luck. He was skeptical at first, of course, with the whole cop thing, but he checked Bosco and it was all true. He had been to Riker's for assault. Apparently he pulled a gun on some douce bag doctor. And that was that for his career. They kicked him out of the NYPD and sent him to jail. But now he wasn't even sure that was true. If Liz was a cop he had no doubt that Bosco was too.

There was also the meet in the Bronx with Jason. He had known him since they were kids. He asked around the old neighborhood and a few people told him that Jason was a snitch. He should have asked before. But all he saw was money and it got in the way of common sense. It had all been a set up. They were undercover, Jason was snitch, Todd the Bronx contact was probably also on the job. She screwed with his money. She made him look like a fool. He was going to kill her.

Leaning back against the building he was careful to stay out of sight. Kicking the garbage away from his feet he prepared to move quickly when he saw her. Taking a deep breath he continued to wait. Last night at the club he was surprised when some guy who clearly looked like a cop asked for him. At first he was just going to blow him off but then something made him stop. All it took was a few words and two pictures and his blood began to boil. Mr. Barksdale stared at the photos for a while before sliding them back across the table to the man who brought them. Nobody fucked him like that. He made it clear in no uncertain terms that he wanted her brought back to Brooklyn and that he was going to kill her. So that was all there was to it. He was going to find her and he was taking her back. Cop or not, nobody screwed with them and got away with it.

Liz walked down the subways stairs not paying much attention. She was tired and she was due back to the 55 in a just a few hours. Looking down she fumbled with her keys as she got closer to her building, thoughts on her partner. It had been an emotional roller coaster the past few days for both of them. The closer she got to Bosco the more she felt what he felt. It was strange and she had never been this close to anyone in her life. She had every intention of ending it with Chris. She never loved him and truthfully she didn't expect him to be waiting for her. Even if she did have feelings for Chris, they would never be able to stack up to the deep connection she had with Bosco.

Looking up she was too late as he grabbed her roughly by the arm. In a split second she disappeared from the street as he slammed her hard against the brick wall. Wrapping his fingers around her throat he brought the gun level to her head.

"You're a fucking cop. You dirty bitch." Her eyes widened as Mickey leaned in close. "Didn't think I would find out?" She wheezed and struggled for air. How the hell did this happen? Trying to push him back she felt weak and uncoordinated as her body screamed for oxygen. The world was started to turn black as he suddenly released her and she slid down to the ground. Coughing and sputtering she gasped for air. Bending down he grabbed her by the back of her shirt standing up her quickly. Her heart was racing as she wracked her brain for a solution. Her gun was in the bag Mickey had just kicked aside along with her phone and police ID. She weighed whether or not he would do it. Would he actually shoot her? Jamming the barrel of the gun into her back he pushed her forward. "Walk to the car and act like nothing is wrong."

Taking a deep breath she hesitated a moment. "Or what?" Attempting to turn around, her effort was blunted by his fist. Sharp pain radiated through her face as the world flashed black and then white again. For the first time since she started undercover fear began to grow inside her. She wasn't in control. Nothing was going to stop him from killing her. Standing up she walked toward the black car, Mickey close behind keeping the barrel of the gun pressed firmly into her back. Opening the door he pushed her inside. For a second she thought about running but she knew he was desperate at this point and would probably just shoot her right there on the sidewalk in the middle of the day. Climbing into the driver's seat he peeled out of the space and headed toward Brooklyn.

**Above Lyrics are from The Lumineers "Ho Hey"**


	23. Renegades

" **Last Exit to Brooklyn"**

**Author:** carmen_085

**Disclaimer:** All Third Watch characters are property of NBC. All original characters belong to me

**Summary:** After a terrible tragedy changes his life, Bosco goes undercover to find redemption and justice in the most unlikely of places

**Author's Note:** Thanks to those are still reading. We are nearing the end of this story and it will be finished in a couple more chapters.

**Chapter Twenty-Three**

_'Long live the pioneers_   
_Rebels and mutineers_   
_Go forth and have no fear_   
_Come close the end is near'_

**September 7, 2001**

Liz closed her eyes and swallowed hard as Mickey veered the car off the FDR and onto the Brooklyn Bridge. The familiar sound of the tires on the metal subdivisions of the pavement comforted her for a moment as she remembered a happier time. In her mind's eye she saw herself lightly jogging across the wooden planks as the sound of the traffic on the lower deck soothed her into an easy rhythm. Over her shoulder the skyline of Manhattan shone in the early morning sunrise as she stared straight ahead at Brooklyn, the only home she had ever really known. All of her memories on the job, both good and bad had happened on those unforgiving streets.

Opening her eyes she felt Mickey jam the gun into her left armpit as he juked the steering wheel to avoid a collision. Casting a momentary glance at him she saw his eyes black with determination as his lips twisted into a triumphant sneer. He thinks that he's won. Liz's throat felt tight as the realization finally hit her that he has won. They were going to kill her today. Fighting hard not to cry she blinked her eyes a few times. How the fuck did this happen? She had been made. When Liz first went undercover she thought about being made all day every day. Really what else was there to worry about? Being made was the coup de gras, the pinnacle, the mother of all fuck ups in the undercover world. It was a mistake that, nearly all of the time, was paid for with your life.

Flicking her eyes to the side mirror she watched as Manhattan faded away. Turning her attention back to Mickey she felt the car accelerate before slamming to a stop causing her to lunge forward smacking her head off the dash. It was the first time the car stopped since he had kidnapped her, as it was clear that he was trying everything to avoid it. Liz's head throbbed as she struggled to gain her bearings. The car wasn't moving. Now …this was her chance to make a break for it. Before her fingers could curl around the door handle she felt Mickey grab her roughly by the back of her hair and jerk her toward him. Liz let out an involuntary scream as she could literally hear the hair ripping out of her scalp.

"Don't get any ideas, bitch." The light turned green and Mickey stomped down hard on the accelerator. Pushing herself back upright, Liz rubbed the lump on her head. Mickey snickered when he saw her. "Sorry, guess I should have belted you in." He paused for a moment before breaking out into an evil fit of laughter. "On second thought who gives a fuck? You're going to die today anyway".

Liz felt her chest tighten as she resigned that he had the upper hand. She knew this could happen when she went undercover. And it happened. It happened. She didn't regret her choice to do this, how could she? If she hadn't been undercover she would have never met Bosco. The thought of her partner caused her eyes to mist over. Somewhere along the way they had become friends, and then best friends, after that partners. And now…a sad smile crossed her lips. And now she loved him. Thinking back she wasn't really sure when it happened. Maybe it was those nights spent talking on the rooftop. Maybe it was the night they held each other close for the first time. Maybe it was last night or the first night they were met. She didn't know and honestly she didn't care. She had fallen completely in love with him. Closing her eyes she blocked out everything around her just for a moment.

' _Oh God please I have to make it out of this. Somehow I have to make it out. I don't need to have a long life just please let me live long enough to tell Bosco that I love him'._

Opening her eyes she watched Nostrand Avenue come into view as she knew this trip was almost at its end. She'd said her piece to God, and if it was in his power to protect her one more time then he would. No matter what happened, though, she wasn't going down without a fight.

* * *

Lt. Callahan watched as his partner interviewed the old Chinese lady on Nostrand Avenue. It was early September but still hot and the uniform stuck to his body. Since the Barksdale operation had shut down he went back to training rookies in the 79. The streets were rough but nobody knew them like he did. His partner yelled louder and louder as the old women tried to understand what she was saying. He knew her well; her restaurant had been robbed six times this year…maybe seven if his partner could figure out what she was trying to say.

Turning back to the street he leaned both arms against the car. This was taking forever. From around the corner he heard the squeal of tires as a black Monte Carlo came thundering past. Trying his best to get a look at the driver; what he saw instead caused him to do a double take. It was Liz in the passenger seat staring straight ahead. He only saw her for a second but he was sure of it. Pulling the pen out of his shirt pocket he scrambled to write down even a partial plate.

**BZE-11**...He couldn't get anything else. This wasn't right. She was supposed to be in uniform on the other side of the city. His partner seeing the sudden change in his mood came over as Callahan threw the car door open and reached for the radio. About ready to key up Central dispatch he put the radio back on the cradle. If she had been made and Barksdale's crew had snatched her up, the last thing he wanted was to put it over the radio. He wasn't stupid; he knew that half the precinct was on the take. Pulling out his cell phone he called a friend of his in anti crime.

"Sir…Sir what's going on? Are we going to pursue?" The young rookie jumped in the passenger seat eyeing Callahan eagerly. "Sir…I'm calling it in…" Before he could finish his senior officer pushed him roughly back into his seat.

"I want you to sit there and shut up." Craning his neck to see down the avenue, the Monte Carlo was no longer in view. Callahan shot an annoyed look at the rookie as the ringing in his ear was met with a familiar voice. "Yeah Darren, I need you to run a plate for me." A pause and then a sigh. "I only have a partial and a description. Ok. Black Monte Carlo, plate BZE-11." Callahan drummed his fingers on the steering wheel in nervous anticipation. The rookie in his passenger seat desperately wanted to interject although one look at Callahan told him he would regret it. "SON OF A BITCH." Slamming the phone down Callahan didn't even look before peeling out into traffic.

"Sir… where are we going?" The rookie held tight to his seat belt as the car careened around the corner heading back toward the precinct.

"We're going to the house. You'll be reassigned." That was it. The indignant rookie sensed he was about to miss out on something epic.

"No. I want to come with you. You're supposed to be teaching me and…" Callahan almost couldn't believe the balls on this one. He had no time for it and he was in no mood.

"Listen, boot." The rookie bristled at the derogatory term. "The only thing you're going to do is shut the fuck up. You still need to grow up little boy." Not giving him another thought Callahan picked up his phone as he came to a stop partially on the curb outside the precinct. Jumping out he punched in familiar number as he was already undoing the buttons on his uniform shirt. In the car his rookie was still trying to figure out what had just happened.

* * *

Bosco sat down on his couch. The box of Faith's possession sat neatly in front of him on the coffee table. He was going to do it. He had to do it. That box had been sitting on his living room floor for more than six months. Largely untouched he knew that he didn't have the strength to close that chapter of his life. Once he sorted through those items, February 23, 2001 would be gone forever. Sure it sounded stupid but as long as he didn't look in there, a part of Faith was still alive…there was something still left undone.

Putting both hands on the flaps he opened it and looked inside. Faith's moment in his life had ended. And regardless of what happened, whether they could prove Jackson did it or not, he needed to move on. Liz deserved all of him; and he couldn't give that to her as long as he was still holding onto a part of Faith.

In his pocket he felt something vibrate. Pulling out his phone he stared at it dumbfounded for a moment. Callahan. This surely wasn't a courtesy call. Swallowing hard, Bosco suddenly felt sick. "Yeah?"

"I think they got her." Bosco didn't need to ask any questions; he knew what this was about. Jumping up he felt a surge a fear.

"How do you know?" He tried to keep his voice calm and level so Callahan wouldn't know just how close to losing it he really felt.

"I saw her in a Monte Carlo speeding through Brooklyn. Ran the plates, it's registered to one of Barksdale's mutts….Michael Sanchez." Mickey. That was it. He was killing that son of a bitch if it's the last thing he ever did. "I keep calling her, Bosco. She won't pick up." The finality of that statement made the fear rise back up in him. Stuffing his Glock into the back of his pants, Bosco took off down the stairs before even hanging the phone up.

"I'm going by her place and I'll see you in twenty." Hanging up the phone he didn't wait for Callahan to say another word. Quickly dialing Sullivan he prayed the older man would pick up. Flooring the mustang through the red light Bosco merged onto the Bruckner Expressway going almost 90. "Sully? Yeah. They took her Sul, the bastards from Brooklyn took her." Bosco crossed over three lanes as he sailed down the Parkchester exit. His tires screeched as he parked the mustang crooked in front of Liz's building. "Get Davis and meet me at the house in ten."

Flipping the phone shut Bosco took the stairs three at a time. His heart was pounding out of his chest as he struggled to catch his breath. He was going to do whatever it took to get her back. Even if it meant giving his own life; he was going to protect his partner. Raising his fist he pounded on the door.

"Liz? Liz !" On the other side of the door he heard Atlas whining and barking. Bosco didn't think twice as he kicked the door open. The stunned German Shepherd on the other side was poised to attack but immediately relaxed upon seeing Bosco. Running room to room there was no sign of her anywhere. Nothing was out of place and there didn't appear to be a struggled. She had never made it home.

Bosco felt sick. They didn't have much time. Grabbing the leather leash off the table, he snapped it on Atlas's collar. Mumbling to himself, "We have to find her." Bosco looked at the dog and for a moment he stopped cold. The look of determination in Atlas's eyes was only matched by what he felt inside of himself. The dog's demeanor changed as he began to pant excitedly. Pulling Bosco down the stairs he stopped on the street. Bosco had never had any experience as a K9 handler but he had learned a lot from Liz over the last few months. The biggest thing he learned was to always trust the dog.

As anxious as he was he had to stop and listen to the dog. Sniffing the ground Atlas suddenly veering between the buildings pulling the leash free of Bosco's grasp. Whining and snorting he barked waiting for his stand in handler to catch up. In the cut near a pile of trash was a black bag that Bosco immediately recognized. Picking it up, he unzipped it. Liz's service piece, cell phone, and NYPD ID were inside. He felt sick. The dog barked incessantly, waiting for the next command. This was it; he had to keep moving forward and quickly. If it was the last thing he ever did, he would find her.

* * *

Liz felt her heart sink as Mickey pulled into a deserted lot behind the Marcy Houses. Tall and looming the brick apartment buildings blocked out all the sunlight as the courtyard was cloaked in a foreboding darkness. Looking around there was no one around, no one to see what he was about to do to her. A wry laugh caught in her throat; a city of eight million people and not a single one around when she needed it.

Mickey cut the engine as he jammed the gun into her ribs for emphasis, "Don't even try it." Liz glanced at him momentarily before looking away. If what she felt inside was playing out across her face she didn't want that bastard to see it. Fear so deep and so real came over her causing her to shudder. If they got her inside there's no telling what would happen; the only thing she did know was that she would never come out. She was sure there would be more waiting upstairs; all wanting a turn to do whatever they wanted with her. Mickey got out of the car slamming the door. She watched as he walked around the front. These weren't people…they were animals.

Mickey dropped the gun for a moment as he reached for the passenger side door handle. Liz didn't anticipate an opportunity this good and she had little time to prepare herself. Quickly she swung herself around in the seat, bringing her knees up. As soon as she heard the door click she kicked as hard as she could. Stunned that it had actually worked, Liz sat frozen for a moment as Mickey stumbled backwards hitting the pavement with a thud. One second…two seconds…three. She jumped out of the car and began running across the parking lot toward the street.

A gunshot is a strange thing. The searing pain of the bullet ripping through your flesh often happens before you hear the crack. Her ears were ringing as she felt her left leg give out underneath her. Stumbling to the ground pain radiated through her body. Oh God…she was down. He had her now. Fear and panic gripped Liz as she struggled to her feet. She could feel blood, warm and sticky, dripping down the back of her leg. Behind her she could hear Mickey's stalking footfalls.

He was getting closer. To her right she saw a garbage can as she grabbed it and threw it at him. Tripping he fell to the ground.

"FUCK YOU, MICKEY!"

Grunting she heard him cursing under his breath. The pain in her leg was excruciating as she resorted to hopping on her right leg. Losing her balance she fell to the ground with a small yell. Her wrists and palms ached but she didn't care. She could hear him behind her again.

"Bitch I don't know why you're running." Liz felt a new level of fear come over her as she realized that she couldn't get up. Crawling she cut her forearms on the pavement as she pushed herself along with her good leg. She would never give up.

Finally Mickey was there; she could smell his cheap Dominican cologne. Bending over he grabbed her by her shot bleeding leg causing her to scream in pain. Turning over she rear up and kicked him as hard as she could. He was thrown off of her for a moment but it was too late and she knew he had the upper hand. Within seconds he was back on top of her pressing her face down in to the pavement. Still Liz struggled with everything she had. Mickey almost felt bad; it didn't' seem fair she was hurt…bleeding on the ground. Sneering he grabbed her by the back of her hair. Too bad he didn't play fair. Liz felt her hair rip out of her head before Mickey smashed her head into the pavement. In an instant the world went black as she was tossed into a painful, all consuming darkness.

* * *

Sirens thumped in his ears as Bosco merged onto the West Side Highway. Weaving in and out of traffic he pushed the speedometer on the RMP to the max, well over 100 mph. In the passenger seat Sully grabbed onto the dash as Bosco swerved to miss a truck. Casting a glance in his direction, Sully was surprised by the look on the younger man's face. Instead of finding blind rage, he saw worry and fear. Closing his eyes for a moment Sully remembered the way Bosco and Liz had looked that morning in the diner. It was something more than partners. The car banked sharply as midtown Manhattan was nothing more than a blur to the left. Sully looked at him again and this time he understood. Bosco had fallen in love with this woman.

Bosco could see Sullivan staring at him out of the corner of his eye. Under normal circumstances he would have a smartass remark but right now he was too focused. The only thing Bosco saw was his partner. He had to get there before it was too late. Traffic began to slow to halt as they passed the World Trade Center. Jamming the brakes Bosco swerved onto the shoulder. He couldn't let himself…no he wouldn't left himself even think for a moment what would happen if they were too late. The mere notion of it made him dizzy and sick. They would get there; Callahan would get there; she would fight them off long enough to survive. Slowing the car he came to a complete stop at the Brooklyn-Battery Tunnel plaza. Cars parted to the side as he wheeled the RMP into the left most plaza. None of them were in uniform. Pulling his NYPD ID out of his pocket he showed it to the attendant.

From the backseat Davis could see Bosco's hands shaking as he thrust the badge out the window. Davis couldn't imagine the fear running through Bosco at the moment. He had just lost one partner six months ago and now he was in danger of losing another. "Hey Bos…we're going to get her. Don't worry. We'll find her and bring her home." Next to Davis in the backseat Atlas whimpered and whined feeding off the stress around him. Bosco flicked his gaze to the rear view mirror as he depressed the accelerator.

"I know we are, Ty." Turning his eyes back to the road Bosco really didn't know if they were going to bring her home but he couldn't even let himself think otherwise. The only reason he was even still functioning was because he had talked himself into believing that everything was going to be all right. Bosco looked in the mirror again but this time it was Atlas who stared back at him. They were both ready to do what ever it took to bring her home; even if that meant they didn't come home. The car emerged from the tunnel and into the sunlight. They were in Brooklyn.

* * *

The conscious world came back to Liz slowly. The first sensation she felt was pain; complete and total mind-numbing pain. Voices were all around her as she kept her eyes closed. What the hell had happened? Thinking hard she tried to remember something, anything. She couldn't though as the throbbing pain in her head made it difficult to form a single thought. Lifting her head she slowly realized that her arms were bound behind her. Blinking a few times she saw the floor; it was out of focus. Then she saw her leg; it was bleeding as a small puddle formed on the floor. With all her strength she lifted her head and opened her eyes just in time to see Andre Barksdale raise his hand and slap her across the face. A moan escaped her lips as the past few hours came back in vivid detail. The car…Mickey…getting shot….the alley. Panic caused her chest to heave as she struggled against the chair.

Barksdale leaned in close to her ear as she felt his hot breath on the side of her face. "You should know I never get caught."

A chill ran down her spine as she brought her eyes to meet his. Anger began to boil up inside of her. Who the fuck did he think he was?

"Fuck you." Eyes burning into the man who would most likely kill her she couldn't hold back as a wave of anger surged through her and she spit in his face. The entire room went silent as the group of men lounging about the living room turned to stare at her. From behind Barksdale Mickey surged forward pressing the barrel of his gun to her forehead. Taking the back of his shirtsleeve, Barksdale wiped his cheek. He regarded her silently for a moment as she held his gaze despite the pistol pressed against her head. Liz had tried to send him to the penitentiary. She tried to shut down his whole operation. She tried to take his money…his livelihood. And now here she was. The jig was up, she was made, and there was no one coming to save her. Yet she stared back at him in defiance.

"Say the word and she's gone." Liz's neck bent backwards as Mickey pressed the gun harder into her forehead. Still she held Barksdale's stare. With his right hand he lowered Mickey's gun away as he finally looked away from her.

"No. Not yet." Stepping away from her, Barksdale appeared to be thinking something over. Mickey stood in front of her eyeing Barksdale like a petulant child waiting for daddy to tell him he could go play. Liz's gaze wavered between them suspiciously. The other men in the room stood around all with baited breath waiting for Barksdale to speak.

"Get her up." Mickey looked at him confused before hesitantly unfastening her legs. Before she was even completely loose from the chair, Barksdale snapped grabbing her by the throat. Forcing her to stand up he pushed her backwards out of the main room and into the back hallway. The chair beat off the walls as it was still partially attached to her leg. Liz couldn't struggle; she couldn't breath. Her eyes bulged out of her head as a small squeaking sound came from her severely compressed airway. Throwing her into the bathroom she fell on the floor. Mickey was hot behind them with a smile that quickly disappeared as Barksdale turned and punched him in the face.

"GET THAT MOTHER FUCKING CHAIR OFF OF HER." Mickey crawled on the floor like a baby fumbling with the duct tape as Barksdale's patience wore even thinner. "YOU CAN'T DO SHIT." Liz struggled to breath as she felt the chair come loose from her leg. In one swift motion Barksdale grabbed Mickey by the shirt and threw him down the hallway. Picking the chair up his anger knew no bounds as he whipped it at Mickey who was still sprawled out on his back.

Next his eyes fell on Liz struggling to stand in the bathroom. She was tough; he would give her that. Just how tough, they were all about to see. Liz managed to get herself up to standing with her arms still tied behind her back. Blood was running down her face and she couldn't bear any weight on her left leg. But she was standing with an unflinching stare. If this was it she wasn't going to let it be cowering on the bathroom floor of some rancid project. Smirking at her he wound up to hit her. Seeing it coming Liz leaned her shoulder forward as she dodged his fist throwing her body weight into his mid section. Barksdale was caught by surprise although she wasn't strong enough or fast enough to throw him off balance as she felt herself leaning to the left. With no leg to stabilize she crashed through the shower curtain and into the half full bathtub. Pain radiated through her side as cold water splashed onto her face making her cough and sputter.

Grabbing her by the hair Barksdale laughed a sick, twisted laugh as he flipped her over and pushed her head under the water. Liz bucked against him without even thinking. Struggling she felt water rush into her lungs as the sensation of suffocation caused her to reach a level of sheer terror. She felt herself getting dizzy from the lack of oxygen. Barksdale lifted her head up watching in delight as she coughed and choked. Her wet hair stuck to her face as the cuts on her head started bleeding again. Liz was a long way from the black dress wearing club girl he had known. Gasping for air she hovered a few inches above the water waiting at the complete mercy of Barksdale. Pulling her head back he leaned into her ear. "I want to know where I can find Bosco." His voice was low and deadly. Staring down at the water she concentrated on the tension his hand exerted on the back of her head. She had heard the question, but she would never give him the answer. They would have to kill her first.

Staring down at the water she took a few deep breaths as she coughed blood shot out of her nose and mouth. "I don't know where he is." She felt his hand tense and she held her breath knowing full and well what was coming next. Pushing her head back under the water Liz closed her eyes and tried to go somewhere else. In her mind she was still on Bosco's couch his arm was around her and she laid her head against his chest. Drinking in his subtle masculine smell she felt warm and safe. Seconds felt like minutes and before long she felt like she couldn't hold on anymore. Feeling the small reserve of air seep out of her lungs she began to involuntarily struggle for air. Barksdale let this go on until her struggle got weaker and then he pulled her back up.

"This is the last time I'm gonna ask you, bitch. Where can I find Bosco?" A small crowd had gathered around the bathroom door to watch. Mickey was of course waiting for his turn with a big smile. Liz coughed spitting into bathtub as she struggled to breath once again. Gasping for air she turned and looked Barksdale right in the face.

"I'll never tell you. So just do what you're going to do." Blood and snot down her face as she realized this was probably the end. She would never lead them to Bosco. She had accepted her fate, she hadn't given up, but she had accepted this was the end of the line.

Barksdale was getting pissed she wasn't easier to break. When he spoke again his words carried a sense of finality. "When you wake up…if you wake up; Bosco's gonna be laying next to you. After you watch me kill him I'm gonna put a bullet in the back of your head."

Liz felt nothing but fear. Maybe she had taken it too far. Maybe she should have cooperated. Maybe….shit there were just too many maybes. Looking at him her lips formed a single word, "Why?". Part of her already knew the answer. She had tried to screw his life up, but she didn't succeed. He had gotten away.

Barksdale looked at her like she was crazy. The answer was apparent to everyone but her. "Because no one fucks with me or my money." Her mind raced and she wasn't paying attention as he pushed her head back under the water. Struggling she sucked a gulp of water in as her lungs burned and begged for oxygen. Using all her strength she pushed against his hand. She was using too much energy as her world flashed back to white behind her eyelids. Liz had nothing left as she silently prayed the end would be quick.

* * *

Bosco's heart was pounding as they pulled up to the club on Clarendon. It wasn't open for hours although a CI had told them some of Barksdale's inner circle came here during the day to carry out business. How many times had he and Liz gone here together…eyes wavering involuntarily at the sidewalk he felt the warmth of her hand in his. She was there when he needed her the most. At the time Bosco didn't even know what he needed but somehow she did. The car stopped and the door opened. His mind came back to the present as a sickening feeling grew in the pit of his stomach.

Jumping out of the car he swung around and opened the back door for Atlas. Grabbing the dog's lease, Bosco followed Callahan as he kicked the front door of the club causing it to swing wide open. Behind them Sully and Davis fell in line their weapons drawn and ready. Davis adjusted his Kevlar vest. He wasn't used to not wearing a uniform although he had to admit the prospect of it appealed to him very much. Glancing ahead his eyes fell on Bosco. He had to hand it to him. No matter what the situation or how stressful it was, Bosco always managed to exude confidence and purpose. Davis knew he was afraid, he knew he was worried, and that they were all probably in over their heads; but taking one look at Bosco you never would have guessed.

Callahan was done playing games with these people. The door flew open and he immediately grabbed the first person he saw. Pushing him back on his heels, the man's eyes bulged in surprise. Grabbing the guy's shirt, Callahan threw him over a table as he landed on the floor with a thud. To his right he saw someone moving toward the back.

"BOSCO! ON THE RIGHT!" Without even giving the command Atlas pulled free of Bosco's grasp and went thundering around the bar toward the man who was now running toward the back room. In less than a second the dog was airborne. With all of his eighty pounds he jumped on the fleeing man's back knocking him to the ground. Crashing through the back door the man screamed as the German Shepherd's jaw closed on his leg. Bosco was quick to back up his K9 partner as he hustled around the bar keeping his gun drawn. Callahan had his own prisoner face down on the ground; not bothering with cuffs he pressed the barrel of his Glock against the back of the man's head. The remaining men left in the dimly lit room hesitantly raised their hands. Casting horrified glances at Atlas they dared not meet the same painful fate. "Sullivan, Davis do a sweep!"

The two men quickly swept the bar checking the back room, bathroom, and kitchen. They found no one else although they knew someone may have slipped out the back during the chaos. Returning to the bar they reported their findings to Callahan before taking up position with guns drawn in front of the remaining prisoners. The man on the ground continued to scream in pain as Atlas refused to let go of his leg. Kneeling between the man's shoulder blades, Bosco's pressed the barrel of the gun into his temple. "WHERE THE FUCK DID THEY TAKE HER?"

The guy screamed and moaned loudly. "GET THIS DOG OFF OF ME!"

"Not until you tell me WHERE!" The man tried to kick his legs , which only made Atlas madder as he re gripped growling happily.

"JESUS CHRIST! I DON'T KNOW. DAMON TELL THEM WHERE." The man writhing under Callan's grasp sighed in disgust.

"I AIN'T TELLING THEM SHIT." Callahan sneered at him as he smashed his head off the floor just for the bad attitude.

Sully watched the guy he had his gun trained on as his eyes wandered over toward the dog and back again to the man Callahan was sitting on. Not lowering his weapon Sully attempted to be the voice of reason. "Where is she?" The guy opened his mouth for a moment before shutting it and shaking his head.

Seeing this Bosco had had enough. Standing up he pulled the trigger firing a shot off into the kitchen. Pinging and echoing he heard as the bullet ricocheted off the steel appliances. Turning back to the man Atlas was torturing he pointed the gun at his head. "I'm going to count to three and if no one answers me the next shot will be in the back of your head." Bosco was committed at this point. If he had to shoot some piece of trash in the back of the head to get his partner back he would do it. "ONE….TWO…"

The man Sully has previously zeroed in on stepped forward. "They took her to Marcy." Sully trained his gun on the man as he stepped forward showing him that they meant business.

"What's the apartment?"

"856." The sudden good Samaritan snickered a little. "If she's not already dead."

Anger boiled over in Sully. This whole city…no this whole world was full of nothing but trash. Straight street garbage that thought they dictated the rules of the game. To hell with them. Dropping his gun he wound up as far as he could unleashing a devastating blow to the smug bastards's jaw. Callahan smiled, for beat cops these guys didn't mess around.

Bosco pulled his gun back as he tugged on Atlas's leash. Thankfully the dog seemed to be reading his mind as Bosco didn't know a single command or procedure. Finally releasing the man, Atlas stepped back waiting for Bosco. Callahan stood up giving the prick under his boot one last smash into the floor. "Let's go."

Grabbing the leash, Bosco pointed his gun at the man who Sully had just laid out on the floor. "You better hope she's alive. Because if not we're coming back."

* * *

She could hear voices first. They seemed distant and far off although she could sense the subtle mockery in their tone. Laughing, snickering they caused her ears to ring. Her body was throbbing with pain as even just opening her eyes seemed like a monumental task. Liz tried to sit up but inwardly moaned when she discovered that she couldn't. He arms were still bound except now they were secured over her head. She was still alive; somehow…someway she was still alive. What they were keeping her for made her shudder as she knew there could be so much more ahead. Breathing in deeply she forced her eyes open. Looking around confused she realized they had put her in a bedroom. Her arms were tied to the headboard and a piece of duct tape was over her mouth.

Every inch of her hurt so much and yet she could tell that something seemed off or different. Struggling she popped her head off the bed and looked down at her beaten body. Her pants were gone. Her underwear were still in place but her jeans had been pulled off and thrown on the floor. In an instant her mind exploded with anxiety as she struggled against the bindings over her head. Kicking erratically her shot leg once again began to bleed. Liz barely noticed as her body flopped on the bed in blind panic. Behind the duct tape she screamed as tears came to her eyes. This couldn't be happening. Squeezing her eyes she willed herself to calm down.

Footfalls coming down the hallway made her pause for a moment her vision blurry, her body trembling. They were coming for her. Her chest heaved with anxiety as she tried to catch her breath.

"SHE'S AWAKE, BOSS !" Mickey's smiling face was the first through the door as Barksdale and a few others were quick to follow. She didn't care if they were there, she kept struggling hoping for anything…just a little movement. But there was nothing; she could go no where.

Barksdale looked at her, disgust evident in his face. Nodding to Mikey he turned to leave. "You can have her. Just don't make a lot of noise." Liz screamed behind the gag, this wasn't happening, it wasn't happening.

The other men left the room as the door shut leaving her with just Mickey. The entire bed rocked as she used every last ounce of energy to get herself loose. She knew it was a losing battle but her mind had gone off the rails as her body acted out of sheer panic. She watched in terror as he pulled her underwear off. Kicking at him she was too weak to make a difference.

Smiling to himself he dropped his pants. "You tried to fuck me but looks like I'll be fucking you….literally." He laughed at his own clever remark as her stomach turned over. Pinching her eyes shut she forced her mind to go to another place. Liz refused to be present for this. Sure her body was there for him to do as he pleased but he couldn't control her mind. Thinking of the night she shared a bed with Bosco in Brooklyn she concentrated on how warm he felt next to her. Liz heard Mickey pull his underwear off. Her heart hammered in her chest as she kept the image of her and Bosco in her mind. She remembered the way he smelled and how he held her close. She felt that bastard climb on top of her. Leaning next to her ear she felt his hot breath as she continued to keep her eyes closed. His voice came out a mixture of threatening and amused, "I wanted to fuck you while you were out cold. But this way you'll remember it."

A part of her began to die with those words. Once he did this to her she would never be the same again. Keeping her eyes closed she hoped, she prayed, she willed every ounce of her to fight him. She felt him position himself as he grazed the outside of her and she all but shriveled up in disgust. She needed a miracle.

"POLICE. NOBODY MOVE!" A loud crash and yelling followed. Was this real or was she imagining it? Mickey jumped off of her panic all over his face. For the first time she felt hope. She was saved… and not a minute too soon. Mickey pulled his pants on quickly as he made a beeline for the window and the fire escape. Turning back he walked up on her pulling the gun out of his waistband. Oh Fuck.

Rearing her shot leg up Liz kicked his outstretched shooting hand as hard as she could. He lost his grip as the bedroom door burst open and blur of brown and black darted across the floor. Seeing the dog Mickey dropped the gun and all but dove out the window onto the fire escape. Atlas was a step too slow as he missed the asshole by a hair. Liz heard the fire escape clang as the prick got away. The dog jumped onto the bed and lay on top of her. Licking her face she quickly realized it was Atlas. Tears of joy ran down her face. They had saved her.

Callahan was first through the door and busy on the ground wrestling someone as Bosco pushed past and stalked toward the back where the dog had gone. Behind him he heard Sullivan order all parties to the ground as the tall Davis took three leaps across the living room before latching onto a man trying to crawl through a false wall in the hallway closet. The asshole swiped and clawed at him but he was determined as he grabbed onto his belt and forcefully yanked him back. Bearing all his weight down he was quick to slap the cuffs on.

Bosco heard Atlas yipping and whining as he pushed past Davis. The door was wide open as his heart thundered in his ears. What if he opened that door and she was dead? What if they were too late? What if he was about to see something so awful and so horrible it haunted him forever? He paused for a moment before steadying himself. Stepping into the room it was pure shock that hit him first. There she was half naked, bleeding, shot, and barely alive tied to the bed. Atlas laid on top of her protectively, seemingly shielding her exposed areas. She looked at him and although her mouth had tape over it, he would tell that she was smiling. Her eyes lit up with a mixture of relief and happiness. He would remember that for the rest of his life.

Snapping out of the trance, Bosco ran over and immediately ripped the tape from her mouth. A whoosh of air escape her lips and she drank in a slow, cool breath. It was really over. Meeting her partners eyes she knew how all this looked and what he had to be thinking. "I'm ok."

Bosco shook his head knowing it was an outright lie. "The hell you are. I'm getting you out of here." Pulling his knife out he sliced through the tape on her hands. Atlas moved to the side but remained close watching Bosco with a scrutinizing gaze. Liz's arms ached when they were finally released. Struggling she pushed herself up and began searching frantically for her pants. She was embarrassed beyond belief and she didn't want anyone else to see her this way. Bosco watched her flail around uncoordinated as she tried to find her pants. The sickest feeling he had ever known rose up inside him. She was so strong; the strongest person he had ever known and to see her like this made him want to cry…it made him to do something crazy…it made him want to kill somebody. Footfalls came down the hallway as he heard Sully yell out his name. Liz's eyes darted to the door like a scared rabbit. Without thinking Bosco rushed over and stepped out, closing it behind him.

Sully and Callahan met him with a mixture of worry and concern. Taking a deep breath he composed himself for a moment, the scene inside still so fresh in his memory. "She's alive." The two men relaxed although Bosco's guarded demeanor made them suspicious. "Just…" He took a deep breath. "Just give me a minute." Turning he opened the door and stepped back inside calling over his shoulder. "Call for a bus."

Liz's eyes met Bosco's as he stepped back inside. She had crawled onto the floor and somehow managed to pull her underwear back on. Leaning against the bed her eyes drifted shut; she was exhausted. Bosco couldn't stand to look at her like this anymore as he gingerly lifted her up to sit on the edge of the bed. When he pulled back she didn't let go resting her head against his chest. What was left of his heart broke into a million pieces as he felt her cling to him. Sitting on the bed next to her, he wrapped his arms around her holding her close to him. Only when she was completely safe with her partner did Liz allow herself to cry. Stroking her hair gently Bosco spoke, his words low and deadly.

"I'll make this right, I promise." His own voice was choked with emotion. "I won't ever let anyone hurt you, again."

TBC... only a couple more chapters left !

Above lyrics are X Ambassador's "Renegades"


	24. Human

**"Last Exit to Brooklyn"**

**Author** :carmen_085

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any Third Watch characters. I do own all original characters appearing in this story

**Author's Note:** Well this story is coming to an end. I estimate four more chapters until it is officially complete. Thank you to everyone who is still reading. I check the traffic stats on this story all the time and even one view means so much. Hang in there with me a little longer and I promise to deliver an epic ending for all those involved.

**Chapter 24**

' _Maybe I'm foolish_ _  
_ _Maybe I'm blind_ _  
_ _Thinking I can see through this_ _  
_ _And see what's behind_ _  
_ _Got no way to prove it_ _  
_ _So maybe I'm blind_ _  
_ _But I'm only human after all'_

September 9, 2001

Bosco rested his temple against the cool windowpane as tiny raindrops pelted its surface. He had all but begged for a just a moment…just a second's reprieve from the God-awful reel of images in his head. Watching a droplet of water weave its way down the glass he fell into a brief trance. His mind was blank…the tension melted from his shoulders…he unclenched his teeth. The monitor in the room suddenly rang out an alarm and within a split second he was back to this hideous reality.

His eyes drifted across the room to his partner lying helpless in bed. Her right eye was bruised and swollen; her face puffy and still with dried blood caked to the side. Eyes wandering down the bed he stopped at her leg; which was wrapped in layers of gauze. Looking away his eyes wandered back out the window and down to the street corner outside King's County Hospital. This place was a dump in one of the worst neighborhoods in Brooklyn and if it had been his way the medics would have taken her to Angel of Mercy back in the 55. But one look at her coupled with the fact that she was unconscious and they wouldn't hear a word of it; proceeding directly to the nearest trauma center. When they rolled her in a few doctors were waiting for her in the trauma bay, they tried to push him out but he would have none of that. Thankfully professionalism was at a minimum in this place and he didn't need to resort to any drastic measures like he did at Mercy not so long ago. After examining her and sending her off to CT scan they dumped her in a small corner curtain off in the back. She was in and out of consciousness and although Bosco had more than a few concerns the doc assured him that all her CT scans were fine and the wound on her leg hadn't damaged anything important. Biting the inside of his mouth, there was something else that he couldn't even bear to think about let alone say out loud. He wasn't stupid; when he found her she was naked and tied to a bed. Everything inside of him prayed that they had gotten there in time.

He dropped the stretcher rail and sat down next to her on the bed holding her hand in his. He didn't know what else to do. And then Callahan showed up. One look at the accommodations and he nearly went ballistic at he nurse's station. Normally this would have been Bosco's role but there wasn't a chance he was letting her out of his sight. Thirty minutes and a few dirty looks later they moved her upstairs to a room. Once he got an update from the doc, Callahan left, saying that he needed to handle something. Normally he would have stayed; she was his officer. She was his responsibility. But one look at Bosco's face and he knew she now had someone else to take care of her.

Easing off the windowsill Bosco walked softly across the room. Part of him wanted her to rest, another part wanted her to wake up and tell him everything was ok. She was so much like Faith and yet she wasn't like her at all. Throughout their time together Bosco tried so hard not to compare them but it was useless. Faith was everything he thought of when it came to a partner. She was his first true friend but certainly not his last. He thought she would be; for months after she died he hoped it would end with her and he would never have to put himself out there again for anyone else. But then it happened. Liz showed up and she was everything he needed at just the right time. She and Faith bared no resemblance to one another but they were similar in so many ways. Two women cut from the same cloth; they were strong minded and independent. No one could ever tell either of them what to do. They were tough and smart; hip to the streets in ways many of their male NYPD counterparts could never be. They were honest to a fault and trustworthy of anyone's darkest secrets…he would know. Two women who knew things about him that he swore he would never tell another living soul. Eyes wandering up to Liz's face he sighed. And that's where the similarities between them ended with one major difference. Taking her hand in his he looked back out the window. Closing his eyes he shook his head slightly as if mulling over something so incredible not even he could believe it. He had always loved Faith. She was his best friend, his partner, his confidante, and the closest thing to a sister he would ever have. She understood him, accepted him, and protected him with her life. She was one in a million and no matter how long he lived she would always have a piece of his heart. Liz saved him from the darkest, blackest hole he had ever known. She gave him hope when he was hopeless. She held him up when he couldn't stand on his own. She knew him and accepted him when he was at his worst, his weakest, and his most broken. And somehow she put him back together; she trusted him when he didn't even trust himself, she wanted to be with him when he couldn't even stand to be with himself, and she never questioned him…never tried to change him…she just let him be. He loved Faith, that will always be true, but he was in love with Liz and he had been from the moment he met her.

Bosco looked down at his lap as he felt a new emotion begin to boil up inside of him. Anger. No matter how much he tried he couldn't get the image of her tied to that bed out of his mind. Every time he closed his eyes he saw her there so helpless, bloody and broken, not to mention almost naked. She could do nothing… she was at the mercy of those bastards and it made him sick. His eyes wandered back to his partner's face as he felt the bile rise up in his throat. Swallowing hard he forced it back down. He had to actively resist the urge to shake her awake right here and now. He needed to know what they did to her. And once he did know, there wasn't going to be anyone that could stop him.

A slight movement caused Bosco's head to snap around. Her eyes were open as she seemed to look right through him and his heart sank. Something was different; she wasn't the same. He felt a sickness in the pit of his stomach as he offered a weak smile. Running his hand back and forth over her arm he pushed his own fears aside and tried to act as normal as he could. "Hey."

Swallowing, Liz's mouth felt like cotton as she struggled to speak. "Hey." Her voice was raspy and just above a whisper. Her body ached, her head throbbed, the wound in her leg burned in pain; but she was alive. Blinking a few times, she tried to remember what had happened. "What's going on?"

Bosco looked at her hesitantly. He didn't want to rehash all the sordid details if he didn't have to. Taking a deep breath he looked out the rain hitting the window before continuing. "You're at King's County in Brooklyn." He looked at her face she seemed to understand. "After we got there you blacked out and the medics brought you here. Doc says you'll be ok. Bullet didn't hit anything important in your leg. Should heal up eventually."

"Are they locked up?" Her voice was clearer this time as she pushed herself up to sitting. Inwardly Bosco was relieved that she had some recollection. Turning back toward her he nodded; he would have to lie now.

"Yeah. Davis caught Barksdale trying to crawl through a hole in the hallway closet. Callahan tossed the apartment next door and found 10 kilos being packed and wrapped." He regarded her with a sense of pride. "You did it. He was finally caught with the dope."

Liz had a half smile on her face as she lay back in bed. Inwardly she was happy it was Davis who collared that prick. The rookie caught himself a big fish. Barksdale was important but there was someone else she wanted to see rotting behind bars more than him. "And Mickey." Bosco bit his lip; this was where he needed to lie.

"Uniforms picked him up crawling down the fire escape." He didn't look at her this time. She studied his body language unsure if to believe him or not. Bosco could tell she was deciding if this was a lie or not. Forcing a small smile he looked at her and nodded although he was met by a suspicious glare. Getting up from the bed he walked to the window and leaned against it, staring at anything but her. "Liz…" his voice trailed off as an unexpected wave of emotion came over him. She felt the air in the room turn awkward as her heart began to pound in her chest. Bosco's voice was shaky when he spoke again, "Liz I…" He looked away " I need to know if he…" For fuck's sake he couldn't even say the word. How many times had he asked a vic if they had been raped. How many times had he typed that word without a sliver of emotion into yet another mindless report. And now he couldn't say it…couldn't even think it.. Shaking his head Bosco had to look away.

"If he raped me?" Her voice broke the silence and when he looked back he saw the tears streaming down her face and worried that he already had his answer. Bosco's face contorted with a mixture of anger, grief, and fear as his voice hitched in his throat. He didn't know if he should sit or stand; if he should look at her or look away. Liz looked away from him and wiped the tears from her face. " Bosco…please come sit down."

That was it…he knew it; he was so sure of what she was going to tell him he didn't even need to hear it. And the dam broke inside of him. All the fear and anger and helplessness he had been holding back for the last twelve hours gushed out of him as he flipped the bedside table over. It crashed to the floor as the pitcher of water splashed all over the place. Liz didn't jump; she didn't even look surprised; she just stared at him.

A nurse rushed into the room and eyed Bosco suspiciously before turning her gaze to Liz. Without acknowledging the woman she spoke, "I'm fine. We'll clean it up; don't worry."

The young nurse in navy blue bit her tongue before glaring at Bosco. "Control yourself or I'll have you thrown out." He didn't even hear her speak as he remained with his back to her, arms crossed and staring out the window.

Liz forced a smile before speaking, "Thank you. Could you please close the door on your way out?" She could see the young woman didn't like it but obliged anyway. When she heard the metal click she looked at Bosco. "Feel better?"

Bosco shook his head before turning back to her. Pinching his eyes shut he searched for the right words. A deep breath whooshed out of his lungs. "You're my partner and I…" He almost told her that he loved her. He wanted to tell her; make no mistake about that, but this just didn't feel like the right time. "I'm supposed to protect you." She watched his brow furrow as the emotion inside of him threatened to spill out all over his face. The honestly of his words made her crumble inside and she wanted so much to tell him right then and there that she loved him. But the time just didn't feel right. She wasn't afraid that her feelings wouldn't be returned; all she had to do was look at his face to know how much he loved her. The first time she told him she wanted that to be the only things she felt. Their present moment was so clouded with fear and anger, anxiety and confusion; she felt like she was on a roller coaster.

"He didn't rape me." Their eyes met and see could see the palpable relief. "He got close." She closed her eyes remembering that stomach churning moment where she felt him against her. "As close as he could get." Bosco stiffened as he silently wondered what that meant. "He would have if you hadn't got there when you did. You did protect me…you saved me."

While the relief of his impeccable timing allowed him to relax, he refused to believe that he protected her. A look of disgust crossed his face as he shook his head, "I didn't protect you. Look at what happened." Gesturing to her battered appearance and bandaged leg he refused to believe he had done anything heroic. "It should be me…not you." Tears in his eyes he turned away as he heard her sigh.

"I'm here, Bosco. I knew this could happen when I went undercover and…" Before she could continue he whipped around.

"And it will never happen again." There was a tell in his stance; in the look on his face, and in the way his voice was a few octaves lower than normal. A normal person would have written it off considering the situation but a practiced undercover like Liz saw something more. Bosco met her eyes briefly and became uncomfortable with way she was looking at him. Turning around he knew she could see right through him. Gritting his teeth he waited for it.

"He's still out there. That fucking prick is still out there." Her face burned with anger as the tears quickly dried.

Bosco looked at her; his voice low and deadly. "He won't be for long. I'll make sure of that." Liz pushed herself up in the bed; a mixture of anger and fear in her voice.

"The fuck you will! Don't you go after him, Bosco. He has nothing to lose. You'll get hurt or he'll…." Before she could finish that statement Bosco walked up close to her in anger.

"Or what? Huh?" Sneering at her he seethed with rage that the one person he counted on to believe in him didn't think he could do this. "You don't think I can handle it…" Liz felt dizzy and weak as her heart hammered in her chest. Pushing herself up she stared Bosco down.

"Look at me, Bosco. They almost fucking killed me! They would have killed me if you hadn't shown up." Looking away for a moment he saw the muscles of her jaw tense before she spoke again. "You go after him and whoever the hell he's with…I can't help you. I'm stuck here in this bed. I can't back you up."

Pushing back from the bed Bosco pulled his service piece out of the back of his pants. "I don't need any back up. I'm going to handle that son of a bitch once and for all." Striding to the door he wasn't going to argue with her anymore.

"Don't walk out that door, Bosco." Pulling the heavy door open he stopped before stepping into the hallway as he turned back to her one last time.

"You're my partner, Liz and my…." He almost said my girl. Biting his tongue he nodded his head with a new sense of resolve. "Nobody…Nobody puts their hands on you without answering to me." He was gone and the door shut before she could protest.

Grabbing the nearest object, she hurled a plastic cup across the room in frustration. She knew he couldn't let this go; if the situation were reversed she wouldn't be able to let it go either and come hell or high water she too would be stalking through Brooklyn vigilante style. That didn't mean that she wasn't worried about him. She needed him to be there for her and the thought of something going wrong was making her crazy.

* * *

Callahan sat back in his black truck and waited. It was raining and the window was barely cracked as he flicked the ashes of his cigarette out. He didn't smoke much unless he was stressed and this was definitely one of those times. Ever since he saw that stupid dope donkey Sanchez flying through Brooklyn with Liz in the passenger seat he had one thought on his mind. How the fuck did they make her? He knew they were pissed about the Bronx deal falling through and yeah she caught a beating over that but no way did they think she was a cop. If they did they would have killed her then. And even better question was how did they find her. She lived in the Bronx and was working in Spanish Harlem; no way any of those idiots from Brooklyn would have known where to look…unless someone pointed them in the right direction.

Taking a long drag from his cigarette, Callahan blew the smoke into the cab of his truck as it momentarily clouded his vision. Sometimes getting a lead just comes down to dumb luck. After leaving the hospital he went back to house to make sure all the Barksdale shit heads were processed and the paper work was in order. While the price of bringing Barksdale in, almost came at the cost of Liz's life he couldn't help but to feel some what satisfied. They finally nailed that prick to the wall.

Ducking into one of the stalls in the locker room he heard a few guys come in just as he was finishing up. He recognized one of the voices as Collins, a grade A piece of trash and a dirty cop he knew was actively on the take for Barksdale. Pausing for a moment his ears perked up.

' _You hear what happened over at Marcy?'_

' _Yeah man, they collared Barksdale. Heard they beat that undercover half to death.'_

' _I didn't even know she was under. Thought she was one of Barksdale's bitches until my rook showed up asking about her a couple days ago.'_

He stayed in the stall until they left. Callahan had been around the 7-6 for a few years now as he tried to think back to who had been Collins' rookie. He couldn't remember. Running upstairs he grabbed his coat, taking the stairs two at a time back down. Seeing a friend of his who worked the beat he stopped the younger man. "Hey Jimmy. Who was Collins' rookie a few years back?" He didn't want to raise any suspicions as he was quick to come up with a lie. "I heard he's a real star, was looking to maybe put another op together."

Jimmy mulled it over before coming up with a name. "I think his name was Chris Palmer." He paused for another moment. "Heard he's up in some Anti-Crime unit in Harlem." Callahan didn't waste a moment as he stalked out of the house.

A few more cops came out of the precinct as he flicked the cigarette out the window. He didn't know much of Liz's personal life but if he recalled she had dated Palmer for a while. Undoubtedly jealous, Liz had climbed the ranks much quicker than him. Still though, selling her out over jealously seemed a bit much. Then there was Bosco. Callahan wasn't stupid nor was he blind. He knew there was something between them a long time ago. At the time he thought maybe it just had to with being caught up in the situation together but now he wasn't so sure. They were as tight as any partners he had ever known and he couldn't help but to wonder if that was because they were more than partners. Jealousy…rejection…anger; maybe Palmer lost it and went over the edge.

Callahan flicked his eyes up as he saw movement. Across the street a figure emerged from the house and walked toward a gray pick up. Rain dinged off the roof as the Lieutenant leaned forward squinting his eyes. It was him and thank God no one was around. Swinging the door open Callahan walked up to Palmer as casually as he could; the man still had a gun and could shoot him if he wanted to. "Hey Palmer."

The younger man turned and was promptly met with Callahan's fist. Stumbling into the side of his truck he blinked a few although Callahan wasted no time. Grabbing him by the shirt he wrapped his fingers around Palmer's throat. He didn't reach for his gun and he didn't move a muscle as he stared at his captor wide eyed. He knew Callahan was Liz's undercover CO. Everyone in the department knew Callahan and knew he ran all the undercover ops in Brooklyn. Don't fuck with him or his people; he'd heard that too although he clearly didn't heed the warning.

Rain started to fall harder as the two men were locked together against the truck. Leaning in close to Palmer's ear; Callahan whispered in a low menacing tone. "I know you sold her out to them." Palmer didn't blink; he didn't care that he sold her out. He didn't really care if they killed her. They had something nice for a while but jealously poisoned their relationship and he grew to hate her and all she had accomplished. The only reason he went to see her when she got back from Brooklyn was to see if he could use her for a leg up in the department. "I should kill you right here for that." Licking his lips Callahan continued. "You will never be anything in this department. I'll make sure of that." Winding up he landed a punch directly in the younger man's gut. With a sense of satisfaction he watched the piece of shit fall into a moaning heap on the ground. Stepping over him, Callahan pulled another cigarette out of his pocket and lit it despite the downpour. By morning that little prick would be back in uniform for the rest of his days on the force.

* * *

Sully watched the German Shepherd pace around the room as he sighed. Pressing the phone against his ear he knew this was going to happen. On the other end, Liz's panicked voice begged him to do something. After the whole fiasco at Marcy earlier that day, he and Davis had left after making their statements. Bosco was already gone at the hospital with Liz, and that left the dog with him. Atlas was probably the easiest K9 he had ever encountered. Normally these dogs wanted nothing to do with anyone besides their handler but Atlas was different and could take commands from just about anyone. So Sully took him home until this whole mess cleared up. Truth be told the activity in his apartment was a welcome change.

Bosco had apparently stormed out of the hospital and was on his way to find Sanchez. Sully didn't know much about this guy. He knew he wasn't the ringleader; that was the slippery bastard Davis collared. Just thinking about it made Sully swell with pride. His rookie was all grown up and making a name for himself. He wasn't sure but he knew there was another guy in the back with Liz who ran down the fire escape. Sully wouldn't want to assume anything but one look at her and he knew whatever she had endured at their mercy was probably beyond even his imagination.

He also knew Bosco and he knew that the younger man would never let this go. Especially not with one of those pricks still out there running around. So he wasn't surprised when she called. Sanchez was dangerous and he had nothing to lose at this point. Bosco needed back up and she couldn't do it. Would him and Davis be there for her partner? Of course they would. Bosco was reckless and he was stupid but that didn't mean they wouldn't back him up. She told him she wasn't sure where Sanchez would be but she knew where he lived and that was as good of a place as any to start. Before hanging up Sully assured her that they would be there. A slight sense of relief cold be heard in her voice although her tone remained much more tense than usual.

Atlas whined and stared at him expectantly. He didn't know a damn thing about K9 work and he thought it better to leave the dog behind for this one. Grabbing his keys and service piece off the table Sully quickly dialed Davis's number and told the younger man to be ready in ten. Opening the door he tried to shut it although a slightly round German shepherd wedged himself in the crack. Pushing the dog back into his apartment he nodded as he looked down. "Go lay down. I'll be back." Atlas cocked his head and stared at Sully like he was nuts before the door slammed in his face.

Although he understood a limited amount of language, Atlas still knew when something was up. Sully's body language, his tone, and the gun strapped to his side left little doubt that something was going down. No way was he going to lay down and wait. Pacing around Sully's apartment his observant gaze fell on a cracked window. Jumping up on the sill he wedged his nose in the crack and pushed the window up so his head could fit out. When his head was out he pushed it up further with his shoulders until the opening was big enough for his whole body. Sully's building was older but the fire escape had just been upgraded to a staircase, which led almost to the ground. It was dark and the dog had trouble differentiating the steps from the gaps as he carefully descended the ten feet to the ground. When he got to the bottom he heard the engine of car roar near the street. He could smell that round, friendly guy and there was no way he was getting left behind. Jumping to the ground Atlas scraped his chin as he let out a low yelp. There was no time for that though as he bolted around the side of the building.

Sully dropped the car into gear as he pulled out into the street. His mind was racing as he flicked on his headlights and nearly had a heart attack. In the middle of the street was Atlas. He eyed Sully with a glint in eye as he let out a few barks. Shaking his head Sully looked back at the building. How in the hell….The dog eagerly loped over to the open passenger side window. Paws up he stared at Sully almost mocking him. Sighing Sully nodded his head and Atlas jumped in. Liz, Bosco, and the crazy dog were a trio if he ever saw one. Three kindred souls destined to find one another.

* * *

When Bosco stalked out of King's County Hospital he didn't even think about where he was going. Heart hammering in his chest he headed north toward Bed-Sty. The rain was starting to pick up but he didn't care. All he could think about was her on that bed….her tied to that bed. The look on her face…the blood all over her…and she was practically naked. It made his stomach churn and he felt sick. How could he have let something like that happen to her?

When he started the operation with Liz, she gave him a list of addresses for where they believed Barksdale's crew to be living. Not meant for courtesy calls but rather a heads up for areas of the neighborhood to be on heightened awareness. Pulling out his cell phone Bosco scrolled down until he came to Sanchez. An address and phone number that he had programmed into the phone months ago popped onto the screen; 1027 Quincey St. Brooklyn. Staring at the screen, the reel of awful images in his head stopped for a moment as he quietly pondered a startling question. Did he have it in himself to kill someone? Not in the heat of the moment to protect himself, his partner, or someone else but to actually stalk into someone's home with nothing more than the intent to kill them and whoever else got in the way. Honestly he didn't know the answer to that question. All he did know was that at any cost he was going to make this right for his partner. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he didn't.

Sully eased his old Chrysler into a parking spot a few car lengths from 1027 Quincey St. Cutting the engine he took a wry apprising look at the dwelling and then scowled to himself. On the ground floor was a Halal joint, the second floor was dark but the third floor was bright and all the windows were open. Spanish music wafted down to the street as intermittently the track was broken by someone cursing, kids crying, or people arguing. Davis produced his side arm checking to see if it was loaded for the tenth time. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary as Sully scanned the street. He didn't even know if Sanchez was here; Liz didn't know any other place and she didn't think Bosco would either. In light of the day's events and Barksdale behind bars, the club on Clarendon was closed. So they had no where else to start but here as Sully prayed that they could intercept Bosco's rampage before something terrible happened.

Bosco turned the corner of Quincey and Fulton. He was committed to doing this now and he didn't care much about the consequences. Blinking the rain from his eyes he was dripping wet as the hair stuck to his forehead. His hands were shaking slightly as both fear and rage pumped through his body. The lights of the Halal joint illuminated his features as he gazed up at the third floor. The lights were on and he heard voices; someone had to be home. On the way over it had occurred to him that Mickey may not be there. That didn't matter , though, whoever lived with that bastard would tell him what he wanted to know; he would make sure of that. Just as he was about to kick the ratty ass door down with a lop sided 1027 on it Bosco heard footsteps hurrying across the street. Drawing his gun he quickly turned.

"Whoa, Bosco it's Davis." Not far behind was Sullivan wearing a rather concerned expression with Atlas at his heels.

"Liz called me. Didn't think you should be heading into something like this without back up." Bosco didn't know what to think or feel. While he was grateful to have friends who would go to the ends of the earth for him, he also couldn't help but to feel like this wasn't their fight. He didn't want this to go south and they lose their jobs, Sully lose his pension, or worse. Atlas sat down next to Bosco as leaned into his leg; reaching down he ran his fingers over the dog's soft fur. Sully could see Bosco thinking this over and before the younger man could speak he put his hand on his shoulder. "We're coming with you. Your partner needs you to come back to her."

Bosco blinked a few times as he quickly averted his gaze downward. The breath caught in the back of his throat as the raw emotion of the day began to catch up to him. He and Liz had been calling each other partner for a while now, but this was the first time someone else called her his partner. And more than that it was the first time someone who had known Faith called Liz his partner. He didn't know why it meant so much to him but it did. Nodding at them he couldn't find the right words. Turning back to the door he took a deep breath before kicking it in. It had seen better days and didn't take much effort as a trash strewn dark stairway came into view. Pausing for a moment Bosco listened to the cacophony of Spanish music and voices above remained uninterrupted. Drawing his weapon he didn't need to look back to know that Sully and Davis were close behind. Atlas stood at Bosco's side ready for whatever was next as he whined softly. Reaching the second floor landing a light from above came into view. A woman's voice was yelling something in Spanish as a kid began to cry. He took a deep breath in as he realized this was the point of no return. Sweat beaded up on his forehead as his wet clothes stuck to him. He took the third flight of stairs two at time moving quickly. Bosco didn't think when he got to the top. If he did he was worried that he might lose his nerve and never be able to go through with it.

In all the doors that Bosco kicked in this had to be the most satisfying. It made the best sound ever as it slammed against the wall. Women were screaming, half dressed kids were running, music made the walls shake. Atlas charged in barking as an older woman grabbed the kids and cowered on the floor. A whisper of black darted into the back hallway as Atlas bolted toward the rear of the apartment. A younger woman tried to stop him as he squared off with her baring his teeth. Bosco didn't think as he threw the woman to the floor. Normally he tried not to get rough with women on the job; today was different. A back bedroom door slammed shut as Atlas charged in that direction barking wildly. It was stupid of Bosco to not clear any other rooms but he didn't care. He wanted that bastard and he wasn't about to let him get away again. Atlas snarled at the door as Bosco rested his hand on the knob. Behind him he heard Davis struggling with the woman he had thrown to the ground as the crying and screaming seemed to get louder and louder. A bang from inside the room and a projectile flew past his head and lodged in the wall behind him. The bastard was shooting at him. Jumping back from the door he grabbed Atlas's leash and pulled the dog behind him. Looking down at the dog he hissed "Sitz." The german command for sit that he had heard Liz use numerous times. The dog obeyed as Sully came up close behind tapping him on the shoulder.

"You go low I'll go high." Without thinking Bosco dropped to one knee. The dog was sandwiched in between him and Sully as they steadied their guns. Adjusting his grip Bosco pushed the door open with his left hand. Mickey was half out the window as he turned back toward the door pointing the gun at him and Sullivan. Bosco didn't think as he pulled the trigger. A pop and then a bang; it would take him a while to realize that both he and Sully shot. Showing up was one thing; going all in with him…that was something he would never forget. Bosco's ears were ringing and yet he still heard one of the most beautiful sounds in the world; a howl of pain and thud. He couldn't wait to see that piece of shit lying dead on cement but when he got to the window ledge he was met with a less satisfying reality. Mickey crawling down the fire escape on his belly like the snake he was still very much alive. Bosco shoved his gun into his waistband as he sneered at the little prick trying to get away.

"I'm going. Take the dog and meet me down below." Sully didn't need to ask where Bosco was going. Stepping out onto the fire escape Bosco was in no particular hurry; he knew Mickey couldn't get away shot in the leg. The rain had finally stopped as Bosco sauntered down the rusty metal steps. The hunter and the hunted; it felt damn good to put him on the other side. Mickey got to the bottom and fell off the ladder landing on the ground with an agonizing yell. Bosco had never taken particular satisfaction in watching someone get hurt but this was different. That piece of shit hurt someone he cared about very much and he deserved all that he was about to get and more.

Jumping down off the ladder Bosco stood there for a moment. Mickey crawled on his hands and knees through the alley. Bosco wondered if this was how Liz looked earlier today and quickly pushed that thought aside. Sneering he kicked Mickey in the ribs as hard as he could. The asshole fell onto his side moaning in pain. Grabbing him by the shirt Bosco slammed his head into the pavement. "I warned you…don't touch her or I'll kill you."

Mickey sputtered blood coming out of his mouth. Still he defiantly smirked up at Bosco. "I almost got to fuck her you know…you'd of had my sloppy seconds." Bosco snapped. Pummeling the smug bastards he didn't think as his fists landed blow after blow.

Sullivan and Davis came running around the corner being all but drug by Atlas who was barking wildly. Mickey was bloodied and half conscious on the ground and Bosco was almost possessed in the way that he kept beating the man. Struggling Davis managed to pull Bosco off of him as Sullivan could do nothing but watch.

"Bosco…come on. It's enough. IT'S ENOUGH." Bosco snapped out of it almost clocking Davis in the process as he let out a whoosh of air he didn't know he was holding. Chest heaving he looked at Mickey. The bastard was still moaning; it wasn't enough. It would never be enough after what he did to her. Grabbing Mickey by the shirt he flipped him over smashing his head off the pavement in the process. His face was bloody and swollen from the beating Bosco just delivered although he still managed to work up an ignorant smirk.

Bosco stood over the piece of garbage as he pulled his gun from the back of his pants. Leveling the gun at Mickey's head Bosco did everything he could to hold his hand steady. Sully and Davis intuitively stepped back; they might not have agreed with it but they understood this was Bosco's fight. If this is what he needed to do to make things right…then it's what he would have to do. Atlas sat at Sully's side; he whined softly as if to urge his master to reconsider. But even he knew the gravity of this moment and that the decision belonged only to Bosco.

The rain lightly started to fall again as Bosco's heart thumped in his ears. His chest heaved and he felt like there wasn't enough air to fill his lungs in all of New York. No matter how hard he tried, Bosco couldn't keep his hand from shaking as the gun now visibly jerked side to side in his grip. His finger was on the trigger and he felt himself take the slack out of it. Bosco could see nothing but Mickey, he could hear nothing but whooshing blood in his ears, he could feel nothing but the cool metal trigger on his finger. He wanted to do it. He NEEDED to do it.

Tears sprung up in his eyes. He couldn't do it. Releasing the trigger Bosco let the gun drop to his side. He couldn't decide if he was proud of himself or completely disgusted. Either way he just couldn't do it. He didn't have it in him to kill a man like this.

Turning away Bosco walked over to Sully and grabbed Atlas's leash. His downcast eyes met the older man's for just a moment as he spoke in a low tone. "Call a bus for this prick." Walking away Bosco didn't look back.

* * *

Monday September 10, 2001

Her fingers curled around the edge of the mattress as she pushed herself up out of bed. It was Monday morning and she had spent more than enough time in this shit hole. Hobbling to the bathroom she steadied herself in the door jam for a moment before pushing the door open. Her leg ached and the cuts on her face burned but she was alive…those pricks didn't get her. Shutting the door she flipped the light on and exhaled. Liz watched the water run in the sink as she let her thoughts wander. She hadn't seen or spoken to Bosco since they fought about him going after Mickey. She knew he could handle himself and she trusted him but she also knew that Mickey had nothing to lose. He would do anything to avoid going to jail. She wasn't mad at Bosco; she was worried and scared and more than anything else she couldn't lose him.

Gripping the sink her eyes wandered up to her reflection as she took a deep breath in. Her face was a few different shades of purple but behind that her eyes were bright. It felt good to be up and around and finally getting out of here. Callahan stopped by yesterday and brought her some clothes. He had no intention of getting in the middle of whatever was going on between her and Bosco but he could see she needed to know. Mickey was in a jail; Bosco, Sullivan, and Davis collared him the night before. Callahan could see she was wondering why Bosco didn't come back to her. Why wasn't he there? He didn't know that answer but he knew the man had been through a lot and was still going through a lot. He knew that Bosco cared deeply for Liz and it nearly destroyed him to see her that way. So he told her to just give him some time to process it all. He told her that Bosco would always be there for her no matter what.

Hobbling back to bed Liz sat down on the edge as she sighed. With nothing to do but lay here and think she wasn't sure how she felt about anything anymore. Her tired brain was swimming with emotions as she played with a string on her pants. Callahan said that he would be by to pick her up this morning as she tapped her foot expectantly. There was so much to do. She figured she would take a couple days off and be back out there later this week. Even though her and Bosco seemed to be on the outs it didn't mean she wasn't going to follow through with finding justice for Faith. She heard the door to her room creak open. If it was another doctor or nurse wanting to probe her, test her, or check her Goddamn vital signs she was going to lose it. Looking up she opened to her mouth to speak but quickly shut it staring at the doorway in disbelief.

Bosco. He was here. Wearing jeans and a worn NYPD sweatshirt he hesitantly met her eyes offering her an apologetic smile. She took him in as if it was the first time she saw him. He looked the same but different some way. The only physical indication of the last two days; his knuckles looked like they had been ripped to shreds. Aware that she was staring at his hands he reflexively shoved them into his pockets.

"Hi." He felt stupid. That was all he could think to say.

"Hey." It was terrible and awkward; like a blind date. Exhaling Liz looked down at her hands. She hoped this wasn't going to be the new normal between them. Gingerly Bosco stepped across the room stopping for a moment next to the bed before sitting down beside her. He didn't know what to say. Closing his eyes he remembered the night at Rockaway. This woman sitting next to him knew everything about him. She had seen him at his worst and she had accepted him all the same. He had nothing to hide from her.

"I'm sorry." Bosco pinched his eyes shut. He didn't want to look at her; he just wanted to say it and be done. "I shouldn't have talked to you like that. I shouldn't have walked out of here like I did." Liz turned to look at him; he could feel her eyes on the side of his face. "I just…I was scared and I was angry. And I just…I fucking couldn't let someone do that you. It made me crazy…all of it just made me crazy. I know you were worried and I'm sorry for that. I just….I had to do it."

Liz sighed. Worried was an understatement. She wasn't mad at him though, she could never be mad at him. Smiling sadly she realized that no matter what he did or what happened between them she would always forgive him. She leaned her head against his shoulder and something inside Bosco relaxed. They were ok. Everything was going to be ok. "I know you had to do that. I was scared too."

Adjusting himself on the bed, Bosco wrapped his arm around her shoulders and before he could think about he leaned over and kissed her on top of the head. Liz felt warmth from her head all way to her toes as she completely leaned into him. "Thanks for being my partner." It was as simple statement but to her it meant a lot. She knew Bosco didn't throw that word around much. It meant something far more than just 'the one I work with'. Partner meant I have your back; I trust you with my life; no one comes between us; you and me, always. She stayed in that moment for a while just enjoying being close to him. "I talked to Swersky yesterday. I'm coming back. I…I need to be with you." He exhaled loudly. "I understand if you don't want anything to do with Jackson and Faith…you know after all this."

Liz shook her head. "No. I'm seeing this all the way through. Not just for you but for Faith. She deserves justice. We'll get him eventually."

It deeply touched Bosco that Liz was just as determined as he was and yet she had never even met Faith. Squeezing her shoulder he nodded. "Swersky said he has nothing on the third watch open right now so he put me on days for a week or so starting tomorrow. He thinks after that he can work me back into the schedule. I told him I only want to work with you and Atlas." He paused for a moment. "If, you know, that's what you want too."

Looking up at him she smiled. "You and me, always partner."

**Above Lyrics are from Rag'n'Bone Man "Human"**


	25. September 11, 2001

**"Last Exit to Brooklyn"**

**Author** :carmen_085

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any Third Watch characters. I do own all original characters appearing in this story

**Author's Note:** When I started writing this story a chapter I knew I wanted to tell was this one. If matters concerning 9/11 are upsetting or sensitive to you as the reader I encourage you to skip this chapter. For anyone who has lived through that the day and the years after you are aware that no story set before and after 9/11 can possibly be complete without touching on it in some way as it has been the defining moment in our recent history. I hope you will all find this rendition tasteful and true to the feelings many of us shared on that day.

**Chapter 25**

_September 11, 2001_

Bosco woke with a start as he gasped sitting up in bed. Blinking a few times he looked around the quiet room. The windows were open and the curtains blew gently in the cool night air. Somewhere in the distance a siren echoed through the city streets. Taking a deep breath he wiped the sweat from the back of his neck. The clock on his nightstand glowed four am. Glancing over his eyes rested on his partner next to him in bed. A small smile came to his lips as he watched her sleep. He suspected she hadn't had much rest in the last few days. After they left the hospital he took her to his place. He didn't think she should be alone right now. Honestly he didn't think she should be alone ever again.

Lying back in the bed Bosco stared at the ceiling. He had never slept with a woman just to hold her close. To lie there and feel her breathing against him, to feel her body relax against his, to let her know she was safe and he would be there when she woke up. He had never done any of that. He had taken God knows how many women to bed and truthfully he hadn't felt anything until last night. All those years he thought it was because he couldn't feel. Countless beatings at the hands of his old man had left him emotionally blunted and unable to feel anything but anger, guilt, and disappointment. But he was wrong. Not even a lifetime of pain could kill the love inside of him that had only been hidden until the right person knew where to look. In the dim light he watched her breathing slow and even, her face relaxed, and without knowing it she scooted a little closer to him. She was pretty close to perfect everyday but in that moment she was nothing short of a miracle to him. A miracle that she was alive, a miracle that they had found one another on what was the darkest day of Bosco's entire life, and more than anything else a miracle that a woman like her wanted a broken man like himself.

Bosco tried to straighten his legs but the dog at the bottom of the bed moaned in disapproval as he rolled over and spread himself out even more. Casting a glance toward the clock the red numbers glowed 4:45. There was no use going back to sleep now he would need to be up in an hour to work the first day shift in he couldn't even remember how long. Sighing Bosco rolled over and put his arm around his partner not trying to wake her up. When she stirred slightly and turned over he felt guilty. She needed as much rest as she could get.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you." Her blue eyes fluttered open as a slight smile crossed her face. She stared at him dreamily almost trying to decide if she was awake or asleep. Bosco was lost in her face at that moment; the brightness of her eyes, the contours of her cheeks, the softness of her lips. He didn't see the bruising, the cuts, or that her upper lip was swollen twice the size of her lower lip. Gently he ran his fingers down the side of her face. He loved her; he loved everything about her. He didn't even know love like this existed. He felt weak when he looked at her as he opened his mouth no words came out. Smiling at him she leaned her forehead against his chest and closed her eyes. Wrapping his arms around her he exhaled slowly. He wanted to memorize everything about this moment. Not only because it was perfect but also because a tiny part of him still feared that something this amazing could never truly be his.

Liz drifted off to sleep until she heard Bosco's alarm. Carefully he slid out of bed and a few moments later she heard the shower running. From the bottom of the bed Atlas crawled up next to her taking Bosco's place. Whimpering he licked her face. Liz didn't want to move but she had to. She had never stopped moving once in her life and frankly she was afraid of what might happen if she did. So as much as it hurt and as much as she didn't want to do it, Liz pushed herself out of bed and slipped her shoes on. Atlas leapt off the bed in joy and ran to the door. As nice as it was to have someone take care of her she didn't want to get used to it. There was still work to be done and no matter what she would not stop until they found justice for Faith. Casting a glance at the bathroom, her and Atlas quietly slipped out the door.

Bosco stared at himself in the mirror. He looked worn down but there was light in his eyes that had never seen before. Running the razor over his face his eyes wandered over to the clock he kept on the bathroom sink. He still has plenty of time and for once he was actually excited to go to work. It had been so long and so much shit had happened that a part of him was longing to return to a sense of normalcy. He loved undercover and he would never trade his experience in Brooklyn but he also couldn't deny that a part of him craved a routine once again. Months ago he was afraid of this; searching for anywhere that wouldn't remind him of Faith. Things had changed though, they had changed in every way.

It was a beautiful morning as Liz watched Atlas romp through the park near Bosco's place. Sitting down on the bench she inhaled deeply and for once the air in New York didn't smell so bad. The sky was brilliant blue as the sun crested the horizon. She was sore as hell and emotionally raw but she couldn't help but to feel alive in a way that was unlike anything she had ever known. Liz had ended up in some hairy situations before but nothing like what had just happened. Never in her life was she so sure that she was going to die. And she didn't. She was still alive. But even despite that, there was something more making her feel this way. That something was the reason she was still alive because without it she would have never had the strength to go on. And she wanted to tell him so much. When he found her she wanted to blurt it out, when she woke up in the hospital she almost said it more than once, and just an hour ago when she was staring into his eyes in the dark it was on her lips. No time seemed right and she suddenly wondered what she was waiting for. Calling Atlas she snapped the leash back on and started up the block. When she got back she going to tell him before she could think about it anymore.

Bosco's breath hitched when he opened the bathroom door and the bed was empty. All the while he was in the bathroom getting ready he was thinking of her. Stiffening slightly he walked across the quiet room and pulled his uniform out of the closet and stared at it for a moment. The last time he wore this Faith was alive and he didn't even know Liz Jensen existed. He wanted to tell her he loved her so many times. Driving to Brooklyn a few days ago it was all he could think of and if she was alive he planned to blurt it out the minute he saw her. But then he saw her…he saw her. And it felt like the wrong time if ever there was a wrong time. At the hospital he started to say it…he almost said it. But she was mad and he mad and he didn't want it to be something let out in the heat of the moment. And then this morning…everything about that moment was so perfect. He didn't want to move, he didn't want to speak, he didn't even want to breath for fear of ruining it. But he still had a chance. He had thought about it over and over. He would shower, dress, and before he left for work he would take her in his arms and tell her…he would tell her right then. But she was gone and while his rational side knew that she was most likely out walking the dog, a small nagging ember of self-doubt burned in the back of his mind. What if she was gone; left without even saying goodbye. What scared Bosco more than her being gone was the idea that he could lay his entire soul out for her and she could pick up and leave at any moment. He trusted her and he knew she would never do that but he still couldn't help but find himself at the edge of an emotional cliff. And he was ready to jump…so so ready until he laid eyes on the empty bed. Sure it meant nothing this time but what if one day after he gave her every last ounce of himself it was for real. It made the hair stand up on his neck as he swallowed a hard lump in his throat.

She took the stairs two at a time forgetting all about her body screaming in pain. Atlas chased after her unsure of the kind of game they were playing now. Liz reached the top of the stairs and threw the door open expecting to see Bosco looking sexy as hell in a uniform with a big smile on his face. The living room was empty as she caught her breath closing the door behind her. For a moment she worried that he already left and she missed him all together. The bedroom door slowly opened as she watched her partner emerge fully dressed. She had never seen him in uniform before and it caused her to pause for a moment. It was dumb but she had been imagining what he might look like and it was so much better. The dark blue made his eyes shine even brighter as this clean- cut version of Bosco was even more appealing than undercover Bosco. Liz snapped out of her daydream as she watched him search the living room for his keys. This wasn't quite how she imagined it all going down. He seemed distracted as he looked everywhere but her. A sick feeling settled in the pit of her stomach; maybe he was regretting spending the night in bed together. Granted there was no sex; however the moment they shared this morning was one of the most intimate she had ever experienced. Maybe he didn't feel the way she thought he did. Maybe this was all a mistake.

Out of the corner of his eye Bosco watched her nervously shift her weight from side to side. He needed a minute to think about all this. What he had with Liz was so perfect; he just didn't want to rush anything and screw it all up. He might be able to survive losing her as his…well he wasn't sure but it seemed like they were together. Maybe he could get over that; but he could never get over losing her as his partner. Not after everything they had been through. He didn't know anything about love; he never learned much about it growing up and he surely never felt it for any of the women he had ever dated before her. Exhaling Bosco slid his keys into his pocket as he heaved a duffel bag over his shoulder. He just didn't want to screw it all up.

Liz watched him move toward her. Stopping he pulled her close to him as she instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck. She wanted to stay there forever. Gently Bosco pulled away from her as he gave her a sincere smile. "Get some rest for me, today. Ok?"

Liz nodded. He walked around her and opened the door. "Be safe out there."

She couldn't turn around right then but she heard his voice before the door shut. "Always." She stood there for a second. Inside a voice screamed at her _'Snap out of it…Snap out of it! Wake up stupid!"_

Without thinking she whirled around throwing the door open. "Bosco!" She yelled it a little louder than she meant to. He stopped abruptly on the second stair as he looked at her over the banister. His face was a picture of concern. Liz let out a breath she didn't know she was holding as she nervously stepped into the hallway. Her eyebrows came together as she let her shoulders slump. "I love you, Bosco." She smiled as she shook her head. "I just wanted you to know that."

He froze. He didn't know what to say because inside of him he felt a way he never thought possible. Nobody had ever said those words to him and meant it like she did in that moment. Bosco let the bag slip off his shoulder as he stared at her. He opened his mouth but nothing came out.

Liz could see the emotion on his face and she knew he wasn't expecting that. She also knew his past and she didn't expect him to say it back right then. Still it would have been great to hear. Pushing her own disappointment aside she thought of him first as she smiled at him. "It's ok." Walking she leaned over the banister as she took his hand in her own. "It's ok. I just wanted you to know."

Bosco let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "Thank you." She nodded understanding. Letting go of her hand, he forced his legs to walk even though he couldn't feel them. He got to the front door and he snapped out of it. _'Thank you…Thank you ?! What the hell was that'_ Turning Bosco ran back up the stairs only to see his apartment door click shut. Letting out a sigh he stared at it for a moment contemplating running right in there and showing her just how much he loved her back. _'No…No. Take some time and think. You'll tell her later. Don't rush into this, Maurice. You need to get it right."_

The mustang was parked a couple blocks from his place and when he finally saw the car he wasn't even sure how he got there. Sliding into the driver's seat he turned the engine and slammed the door as he finally realized that his heart was pounding in his chest. Taking a deep breath Bosco wound down the window and let the cool morning air dry the sweat on the back of his neck. He needed to get a grip for Christ's sake. In a half hour he would be walking back into the 55; a place he hadn't seen since…well since everything happened. That thought alone was enough to make him feel a little sick but amazingly enough it was barely on his radar. With three little words she had completely destroyed his fragile world in the most amazing and beautiful way. He knew how she felt long before today but to hear her say it out loud made it real. And it took a simple man like himself from the meager life he had created and brought him to a place where the sun was brighter, the air was cleaner, and the colors of life shone with a brilliance he never knew.

Shaking his head Bosco pulled out into traffic. Manhattan gleamed in the early morning sun against the crystal blue sky. It was such a beautiful day and not just because someone loved him but also because today he got a chance to start his life over. Brooklyn had not been a fresh start but rather an opportunity to put his life back together. Today he would walk back into the 55 not as an angry man struggling to find his place in life, and not as a broken man just trying to survive, but as a loved man who had someone waiting for him at home…someone who faced hell with him and never looked back. Pulling his mustang into a spot outside the 55 his gaze flickered to the rear view mirror. Cops milled about the building, as the day shift was about to start. Swinging the door open Bosco jumped out of his car before be could lose his nerve or change his mind.

Bosco didn't really know where to go. He felt like a kid on his first day at a new school. He had never worked the day shift before; he used to know a couple of guys but he wasn't sure if they were still there or had moved on. Looking around the empty roll call room he took a seat near the back and snapped his duty belt on. After months of undercover it felt heavy and foreign on his hips. Sitting back down Bosco watched as a few guys filtered into the room. He didn't know them and for all intents and purposes they looked like they didn't know him and for that he was relieved. He wasn't ready to answer the questions. As he watched the room fill up Bosco let his mind drift off to this morning. She loved him….no matter how many times he replayed the moment she said those words in his head he still couldn't believe it. The fact that anyone loved him was beyond his wildest imagination let alone someone he loved back.

Swersky shuffled some papers was he walked into the roll call room. Perusing the ranks he checked to see if anyone was missing as he approached the podium. His eyes went through the back row as he was forced to do a double take. Bosco sat in full uniform for what he would estimate was the first time in more than six months. The last time he saw Bosco in this room it was the afternoon before him and Faith left the house together for the last time. Shaking his head Swersky looked down for a moment; it seemed like a lifetime ago. Looking back up he expected sadness or even dread on Bosco's face but instead he saw something else…something he never expected. The younger man stared dreamily at nothing as a smile played across his features. He was happy and content and something told Swersky it had nothing to do with coming back to work. He has seen Bosco and Liz together a few times since they came back from Brooklyn and he had honestly didn't recognize Bosco. He was someone completely new when he was with her; content, relaxed, and confident. Bosco had always been searching for something and he was happy that the younger man finally found it. If anyone deserved to be happy it was him.

"Roll Call Tuesday September 11, 2001." Bosco turned his attention to the boss when he heard Swersky's voice. He felt like he should be full of dread coming back here. Bad memories were everywhere; but honestly he didn't feel any of that. Truth be told not much could bring him down after this morning. "Church and Haus you'll be in 55- Charlie, Martsoff and Phillips 55-David, Rivera and Brown 55-Edward." Swersky paused for a moment writing something down. "Boscorelli 55-George solo." No one turned around when the Lieu said his name and for that he was grateful. Bosco nodded at the boss as he continued on with roll call. He was happy that the Lieu didn't put anyone with him today. He had enough to think about and besides that he already had a partner; one that he wouldn't trade for anyone in the world. "Color of the day is green…shift commander is yours truly for the next 16. Eyes and ears open out there people." Bosco pushed out of his chair as he quietly made his way out of the room. He knew Johnny Rivera and Zach Martsoff from before and he was grateful the men greeted him with nothing more than a smile and nod. Surely they had heard every rumor known to man and were just trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. Either way he was glad that no one made a big deal; he would be happy to stay under the radar for as long as possible.

Bosco checked out his radio and was on his way to the patrol car when he passed Swersky's office. "Hey Bosco…" The younger man stopped hesitantly in the doorway.

"Yeah Boss?" He swallowed hard; he just wanted to get out there.

"I'll get you back on afternoons as soon as possible. I assumed you, Liz and the dog will partner up." Bosco couldn't stop himself from smiling. Swersky didn't miss the goofy grin or the way his eyes lit up at the mention of his partner. Sitting back in the chair he shook his head slightly. At first he thought the change in Bosco was simply due to finding another partner but he was wrong…so wrong. He had fallen in love with her.

"That would be great Boss." Bosco tried not to sound too excited although he was sure Swersky saw right through the charade. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

The older man nodded, "You're ok riding solo today?"

The question snapped Bosco out of his daze. "Yes sir."

Swersky smiled before gesturing toward the stairs. "Be careful out there, Bosco." He turned to leave. "Good to have you back."

Bosco smiled a real smile. A few months ago he would have had to force it and pretend but not anymore. The memories of the past were there but somehow they didn't hurt as much.

* * *

Liz sat down on Bosco's couch slowly. Looking around her eyes landed on the TV. Morning sunlight streamed over her shoulder as she rolled her shoulders side to side flicking through the channels until she reached the Today show. The adrenaline of this morning had gradually worn off as a familiar tiredness came over her. She hadn't had much sleep in the hospital and she wondered how anyone got better in that place. Her muscles ached as she pushed herself up off the couch in search of ibuprofen. The doctors had given her some kind of narcs when she left the hospital but she didn't bother getting the script filled. She didn't like drugs and frankly Percocet seemed like a bit of overkill without even one broken bone. Throwing the little brown pills in her mouth her eyes wandered over to Atlas who was busy investigating a box on the floor. Swallowing a gulp of water she moved toward the dog to pull him out of whatever he had gotten into.

"Atlas leave it." The German Shepherd stared up at her in disappointment as he slid his body to the ground hoping she would walk away and he could continue investigating. Kneeling down Liz grabbed the box as her eyes landed on the seemingly random items. Letting out a sigh she picked up a photo of Bosco and a woman sitting on the hood of a patrol car. She vaguely remembered seeing Faith in the Post after she died. She had never met the woman and she had no reason to pay much attention to it. It wasn't common for NYPD officers to die in the line of duty but it also happened…at least once a year. Liz stared at the picture. Faith was a beautiful woman; built trim but strong with light green eyes and strawberry blonde hair. Bosco leaned into her in a way that was both comfortable and protective. They smiled for the camera; completely oblivious to their tragic future. She remembered this box and the way it completely brought Bosco to his knees the other night. Folding the clothing carefully, almost reverently she placed it back in the box. She was curious but felt almost intrusive. This wasn't hers to look at. Quickly she packed up all the scraps of paper stopping when she came to a sealed envelope. Running her fingers across the paper she flipped it over. In delicate handwriting it said 'Bosco'. Liz looked at it in confusion. He had never opened it. She felt the thickness of it and slapped it against her hand a few times. It was a letter. Letting out a whoosh of air she stared at her partner's name in someone else's handwriting. As much as she wanted to open it she couldn't. It was private and it was Bosco's; if they didn't have trust between them then they had nothing.

Liz exhaled loudly as she took the letter and placed it carefully on the coffee table. The ibuprofen was beginning to take effect as she felt herself relax. Lying down on the couch she closed her eyes as Atlas lay down on the floor beside her. Dropping her left hand she stroked his soft fur back and forth as she allowed her mind to wander.

' _The early summer breeze blew her hair around her face as a jet thundered overhead. A brief white light illuminated her partner's face as she stared helplessly watching the pain flow out of him._

" _When I got back, she wanted to talk to me about something. I figured she just wanted to complain about her husband or the kids. Normally, I didn't mind hearing about her family problems but we were on our way to a call and I just…I just didn't want to hear it"_

_Liz looked away as Bosco continued to talk. Squinting at the ground she tucked that information away for later. What did she have to tell Bosco that was so urgent? Something must have happened while he was off.'_

The memory faded as Liz hovered between sleep and wakefulness. What did it all mean? It was just beyond her comprehension as the magnetic pull of sleep drug her under. She would figure it out later and it would all make sense.

* * *

Bosco guided RMP 5210 down Lexington Avenue. It felt right and wrong all at the same time. Almost like being in your hometown but in a stranger's house. The front seat was broken and the stuffing was coming out from years of cops getting in and out. The steering wheel was worn at the twelve o clock position because no one ever drove with more than one hand. It all felt so familiar and yet different. His eyes slid over to the passenger seat for the tenth time since he had gotten into the car. He didn't know what he was expecting to find. He knew no one was there and yet he couldn't stop checking. Dark glasses hid the uncertainty in his eyes. He had a partner at home; he had more than a partner at home. The fact alone made his handsome face break into an easy smile. Knowing she would soon be in that seat made all the difference but still he had to know that he could stand on his own two feet and do the job. Today was important. He needed to prove to himself that after all the shit he had been through he could still put the uniform on, get in the radio car, and go out there and do this job relying on no one but himself. Before he could protect her he needed to know that he could trust himself. He had eventually come through in Brooklyn but that was different. Here a memory of Faith and ghosts of his past were lurking around every corner. Brooklyn hadn't been a new start but rather an escape from all that was wrong.

Slowing the car to a stop Bosco glanced at the clock.

_**7:30 am** _

He wanted to get through this day and go home to her. Never in a million years did he think he would say that about a woman. More than that he never thought he would ever have someone to go home to. She loved him though. He had been thinking of what to say and how to say it and the right words just weren't there. The light turned green as the radio crackled to life. "55-George take a call for minor MVC…intersection of King and Lex." Bosco reached out and brought the radio up to is mouth. No turning back now.

"55-George en route King and Lex." The accident was only a few blocks as he wheeled up behind two cars within minutes. An irate man was stalking around his car as a young woman stood crying quietly against hers. Normally Bosco would have had some choice expletives about the situation but for the first time in he couldn't remember how long he actually just wanted to help. The damage to both cars was minimal as he walked up to the young woman first. "Are you hurt?" The girl shook her head although the tears continued to fall. The man stalked over to Bosco clearly enraged.

"The dumb bitch hit me. Look at the scratch on my bumper. It's a Lexus! You know what this will cost to get fixed?" Bosco put himself between the man and the crying woman as he remained completely calm.

"Sir please bring me your license, registration, and proof of insurance." The asshole looked at Bosco like he was nuts but complied mumbling something about an executive meeting he was missing. When he turned around the woman was in the back of her car attending to a baby that didn't appear injured or even slightly distressed. He smiled slightly.

After copying down both parties information he passed the angry business suit wearing asshole a slip of paper containing the woman's information and smiled still making sure that he was standing between the two. "All the information is there, sir. You should call your insurance company as soon as possible."

"That's it? You're not going to do anything else?!" He took a step toward Bosco who instinctively reached his right hand down to his service piece. "Waste of my tax dollars." The man stalked back to his Lexus got inside and floored the accelerator as the car roared away. In the past Bosco wouldn't have missed the chance to taunt or provoke someone like that but now it just seemed silly. Turning back to the young woman she had her face partially covered with her hand as she continued to cry.

"I can't do this. I….I just had him and I've been so careful…so so careful. I just looked back to check on him for a minute and I looked back up and this guy was there….and I can't do it. He could have gotten hurt. I'm so stupid. I should know better."

Bosco took in the panicked look on her face and the rambling as he smiled reassuringly. "You're doing great. He's safe. He's not hurt. Everything is fine." For the first time her eyes met his as she wiped away the tears with her shirtsleeve. "It's hard especially in the beginning but you're doing fine." It was like he spoke from experience and yet he had none. But for the first time in his life he could imagine himself as a father. A whole new world had opened up to him this morning with three simple words.

The woman's voice snapped him back to reality. "Thank you. Thank you for understanding." She took a hesitant step forward before putting an arm around his neck. He could smell baby powder and formula as he reached an arm around and loosely hugged her back. "And thank you for being so kind. I'm really trying." She pulled away as Bosco was still in shock. In all his years of being a cop very few people had ever thanked him let alone hugged him. And he couldn't remember one time any of that occurred at the scene of a traffic accident. He smiled genuinely as she got back into her car. She regarded him seriously before driving away. "You be careful out there, Officer."

Bosco nodded. "You do the same." He watched her drive away before getting back into the RMP. It felt good to be this way. To an outsider it might look like he had gotten soft but that wasn't it at all. Before Faith died, before he met Liz; Bosco was angry, lost, and he didn't care about anyone. He lost someone he loved as a sister. He gained someone he loved and couldn't live without. He fell in love and a whole new world fell at his feet. And somewhere along the way he gained a deeper understanding of everything he never knew. Before he might have understood other people but now he could feel what they felt. Empathy…he'd heard Faith talk about it a time or two

Bosco cleared his unit off the crash and to his surprise there were no pending calls in his sector. As he cruised down Lexington his mind wandered to back to Liz. He felt so many things for her and he wanted to tell her everything but every time he thought about it he had no idea what to say. Should he just blurt it out or should he build it up with some sort of explanation. Chewing on his thumb he slowed the car to a stop as the light turned red. Bosco couldn't remember much love or expression of such growing up. Sure, he told some of the women he had slept with that he loved them but it meant nothing. He felt nothing; he just thought it was what he was supposed to say. He opened his mouth in the empty patrol car and thought that if he said it out loud to himself maybe it would be easier to say to her. But nothing came out.

Shaking his head Bosco exhaled loudly. This was dumb. Why did he have to think about this so much? After everything they had been through together….she never wavered. Liz had seen him at this worst and not only did she stay but she also found some way to fall in love with him. Here he was driving around like an idiot trying to think of the right words. But really it wasn't about the words at all but rather the feeling. He loved her. Turning the car toward West 86th Street he glanced down at the clock.

_**8:15 am** _

Fuck it all. He was going to run up the stairs throw the door open and tell her he loved her more than anything in the world. A smile broke across Bosco's face. He was about to have one of the best moments of his life.

The radio beeped twice before the dispatcher's voice interrupted his excitement. 55 George CO requests you to return to station immediately. Bosco's face fell in disappointment as he saw his building two blocks ahead. Looking down at the radio he briefly entertained just telling them to wait a minute. He just left the house an hour ago what could they want already? But then a sense of guilt crept into his consciousness. Swersky had pulled God only knows how many strings to get him back at the 55. It was his first day back; he didn't want to make any trouble. Sighing he turned the RMP back toward the precinct. She would still be there later. See what the boss wants and he would come back and tell her. Yeah, that's what he would do. Bosco forced the smile back across his face. He couldn't be mad…this was going to be a great day.

Swersky sat at his desk as he stared across the hallway into the roll call room. Brian Jackson had shown up with his work release papers an hour late. Jackson was a marginal cop at best. He went out and did what he was supposed to, he never went out of his way for anything or anyone, and he never stayed late. It was just a job to him. Not necessarily wrong but certainly disappointing. Daylight needed bodies and honestly after everything with Geidel he thought it was time for a change. He needed someone good to keep an eye on Jackson. Bosco took the stairs two at a time as he glanced at the wall clock above the desk.

_**8:30 am** _

He hoped whatever this was it would be quick. He wanted to get back to his place across the precinct before Lexington was jammed with traffic. Swersky's eyes met Bosco as he bounded into his office. He hadn't intended to lay someone on Bosco his first day back; especially not someone liked Jackson. Everyone else was already paired off and he wasn't about to send him out alone. For Christ's sake he just got himself shot in the projects a few days ago.

"Bosco. I need to put someone with you for the rest of the shift." He could see Bosco's face fall as he was quick to add. "This is just for today."

Bosco didn't want to ride with anyone except his partner. Still he was having a great day and he wasn't about to let this or anything else bring him down. "Alright Boss. Who is it?"

Swersky gestured across the hallway into the roll call room. "Jackson. He's coming over to daylight after everything with Geidel." Bosco felt his heart stop. He didn't hear anything Swersky said after Jackson. Slowly he cast a glance over his shoulder. A set of vacant blue eyes met his as a small although clearly facetious smile played across his lips. An unsettled feeling came over Bosco. He knew that prick had some inkling that he was on to him by now and still he had the balls to sit there and smirk. Fuck him. An image of Jackson face down in a back alley with a bullet in his head suddenly flashed into Bosco's mind. It wouldn't be that hard. Just make a bogus call like those pricks and when he's not looking. BAM! "Bosco….Bosco!"

"Ok, Boss. Whatever you need." The words came out automatically as another image replaced the gruesome one in his mind. His partner. He saw her in his arms this morning; completely safe and content. She loved him and he would die before he let anyone hurt her again. Grinding his teeth back and forth he fought to control himself. He couldn't do anything stupid. Nodding he met Swersky's eyes. "Just so I'm with my partner when she gets back."

Brian Jackson peered through the blinds with a defiant smirk. He was so over this place. First his pussy partner offs himself in Sullivan's car after confessing to God only knows what. Then Ricky shoots him in the projects. Thank God his city issued tissue paper vest held up. Now he comes back to work and the Boss puts him on daylight and he's stuck with Bosco of all people. He didn't even think Bosco was a cop anymore after the dramatics at Mercy. Leaning back in the chair Jackson rolled his neck side to side hearing a pop in the process. He watched Bosco lean to the right as his hand rested on his piece. Even from fifteen feet away he could see the stiffness of his muscles and the tightness in his jaw. He was pissed or he was scared; maybe he was a little of both. Jackson smirked as he turned and met his eyes for a moment. He reasoned Bosco had probably figured everything out by now; but who gave a shit? He couldn't prove anything.

Across the hallway Bosco sauntered out of Swersky's office as he stopped in the doorway of the roll call room. Staring silently he had a sobering thought. For the next eight hours the person backing him up would be the same one who killed his partner. Talk about screwed up. He wasn't scared, though, eight months of undercover taught him to be comfortable sleeping with the enemy. He could handle himself and if that dirt bag thought he would get a jump on him he was sorely mistaken. "Let's go." As Bosco walked away an amused smirk played on his lips. Maybe a golden opportunity had just fallen in his lap. Today was still going to be a good day.

Sliding into the RMP Bosco turned the key and waited. That asshole was on his time now and if he thought he would be driving or dictating anything they did today he was in for a shock. Bosco glanced at the clock as Jackson finally appeared on the precinct stairs.

_**8:40 am** _

The passenger door swung open as a memo book, baton, and hat got thrown on the floor and he wordlessly climbed in. Bosco had never realized how sloppy and indifferent he was. What a complete piece of shit. Pulling out he didn't say a word as he absent-mindedly turned the dispatch radio up to fill the void between them.

Bosco let his mind wander as he drove south through the precinct. He wished that he was heading toward his place about to surprise his partner in the most wonderful way. No way in hell he was heading over there now; it would be easy enough for Jackson to figure out where he lived but that didn't mean he needed to give him turn by turn directions. Besides he didn't want that asshole anywhere near her. Bosco has played this morning over and over again in his head. Her in his arms, her hugging him goodbye, and most importantly her telling him that she loved him. He had made his mind up the second he saw her he was going to pick her up, hold her close to him and tell her how much he loved her. A smirk played across his lips; if Faith could only see him now. Driving around all day thinking of romantic gestures, she wouldn't even know who he was. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Jackson steal a glance in his direction and scowl. He could care less.

_**8:46 am** _

Three high-pitched tones broke the silence of the patrol car as a city wide message followed. "All units be advised we have unconfirmed reports that an aircraft has struck the World Trade Center." Bosco stared at the radio like the woman on the other end was nuts. It was beautiful today, clear and not a cloud in the sky. How could a plane hit the trade center? Jackson's eyes slipped closed. Jesus Christ if ever there was a day he wanted to do nothing it was today. Surely super duper cop across the console would volunteer them for whatever bullshit needed done. Fantastic…a day long event directing traffic for the bucket fairies. Bosco saw the lazy piece of shit roll his eyes before turning his attention back to the road. Something deep inside told him this was bad. Six months under and his intuition was stronger than it had ever been. The air space over the city was restricted. Chewing his lip he felt anxious and he wasn't sure why. Maybe it was a piper cub…one of those student pilots lost or an old timer who had a heart attack and hit the building.

_**8:47 am** _

Three high pitched tones again broke the tense silence in 55- George. "City wide emergency message all available NYPD units are needed to Vesey and West St., Battalion 1 has confirmed an aircraft into Tower One, heavy damage. Requests PD assistance for traffic control and evacuation." Not giving the situation a second thought Bosco flipped on the lights and sirens and headed toward lower Manhattan. Thankfully they weren't far from the West Side highway as he merged onto the southbound lanes doing at least ninety. Jackson openly scowled he didn't given a shit about this or helping the bucket boys.

"You're awfully eager to go stand in the sun all day for the bucket fairies." Bosco veered in and out of traffic as he tossed a glare across the car.

"Oh I'm sorry. Did you have other plans today?" Jackson smirked about to open his mouth before Bosco quickly shut him up. "Someone you needed to murder?" Jackson stared at Bosco in shock. Shaking his head Bosco let out a rueful laugh. Taking his eyes off the road he looked the other man right in the eye. "I know you killed her." Looking back Bosco swerved around a bus as midtown was a blur on the left. "And when I can prove it I'm going to bury you." The words came out low and with finality as Jackson felt his heart pound in his chest. None of this came as a shock although Bosco laying it right out there did. Licking his lips Jackson looked out the passenger window; Bosco had a big mouth. They would never jam him up and he would make sure of that.

_**9:02 am** _

As they neared lower Manhattan Bosco caught sight of the acrid black smoke pouring out of the north tower. Traffic began to slow considerably as even the most evasive maneuvers were useless. Sirens screamed from every direction and the radio had been non stop on all channels since the initial transmissions. Inevitably they got boxed in between other emergency vehicles as they all crawled toward the Trade Center. When the tower finally came into full view Bosco felt his stomach turn over. The hole in that building was made by something huge. Flames and smoke billowed from the upper floors as he squinted trying to count how many floors were above the impact. His heart was pounding in his chest as he murmured to himself, "My God."

Even Jackson was more than taken aback by what he was looking at. This was major and it was not what he needed right now. The man in the car with him was trying to build a case for capital murder and put him away for life. Tearing his eyes away from the burning building he pinched them shut for a moment as he looked away and out over the Hudson toward the Verrazano bridge. Staring at the blue sky he racked his brain for a way out of this. Something dark was moving over the bridge coming toward them. Squinting he couldn't quite make it out but it was moving fast.

Bosco laid on the horn. He needed to get off the highway but it was impossible as a sea of flashing lights pulsed in front of him. Juking the steering wheel side to side he could find no space as he huffed in frustration. "What the fuck?" Jackson's voice was barely audible over all the noise. Casting a glance across the car Bosco's followed the other man's gaze.

_It was fucking plane!_ His mind was screaming but he could do nothing as he stared in awe. It was huge and it was coming right for them. The sirens, the radio, the horns, and the screaming faded away. All he could hear was the whoosing of blood in his ears. This couldn't be real.

_**9:03 am** _

Time slowed down as the most surreal of moment of Bosco's life played out. The late summer sun reflected off the fuselage of the plane. The jet engines roared without hesitation as the RMP vibrated and shook. He couldn't stop looking. Acrid burning jet fuel wafted through the open car window. Bosco didn't even realize that he had left his foot off of the brake as the car drifted forward tapping the ambulance in front of them. No one noticed. Bosco blinked and the building swallowed the plane leaving a huge fireball in its wake.

* * *

A blood-curdling scream pierced through Liz's dream as she sat bolt upright on the couch. Was that real or did she dream it? Blinking a few times she looked around the apartment. On the floor Atlas was sitting at attention. Another scream and this time her heart was pounding as the dog began to bark anxiously. Pushing herself up off the couch months of undercover kicked in as she found her gun on the bedroom floor. Racking the slide back Atlas was on her heels as she moved toward the door. As she passed by the couch something caught her eye. The TV was still on from this morning. Stopping Liz felt her heart sink. Lowering the gun she slowly walked around and sat back on the couch staring at the screen in disbelief.

**TBC…..**


	26. The Tower

**"Last Exit to Brooklyn"**

**Author** :carmen_085

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any Third Watch characters. I do own all original characters appearing in this story

**Author's Note:** The 9/11 arc in this story will be three chapters total. Again my goal is to keep this tasteful but also as realistic as possible. If matters surrounding 9/11 are upsetting to you, I would recommend you skip these chapters.

**Story Note:** Yes this story has been in progress for 8 years. I realize I have probably lost a lot of readers along the way. For those wondering these updates are current to date 2/2018 and will continue to come until the story is finished which I estimate at this point will be four more chapters. I am also planning a sequel to this story and have a lot of ideas that I think readers will enjoy. Thanks to those who are still reading. Please consider leaving a review to let me know what you think.

**Chapter 26**

_September 11, 2001_

_Inside the Tower_

She stared at the TV screen in disbelief. Her mind wandered trying to rationalize the horror she was seeing. Maybe it was a movie…yeah some kind of God-awful action sequence dreamed up by Hollywood. Her eyes wandered to the bottom of the screen where the breaking news banner flashed over and over. Getting up off the couch, Liz went over to the windows in Bosco's apartment. Foolishly she looked south trying to see something, even just a whisper of smoke. There were too many buildings though as her eyes scanned the street below. Nothing seemed unusual. A guy on the phone, a woman walking her dog, cars moving with no apparent place to be. It would be the last time in a long time anything looked normal to her. This all seemed too surreal to be believed as Liz felt a chill come over her. If something was wrong Bosco would go there. He would want to help. Her eyes wandered over to the TV as the deepest, sickest feeling she had ever known came over her. He was there…and she wasn't.

The shrill sound of her cell phone broke the silence as she hobbled over to the coffee table pushing Atlas out of the way. Her hands were shaking as she grabbed the small black device and stared at the screen. _Bosco._ Flipping it open she almost couldn't get it to her ear quick enough as she excitedly yelled her partner's name.

"Bosco?!" Liz's face contorted with confusion as she pushed the phone harder against her ear. Sirens…yelling. "Bosco?!" She could hear material moving against the receiver as a panic came over her. "BOSCO!"

A loud crash and hysterical screaming followed by heavy breathing and swishing of material. When she finally heard his voice it sounded far away and higher, more desperate than she had ever heard before. "Get out of this area. GO! GET OUT!" Liz listened helpless to do anything as she was granted a ten second window into the horror of Lower Manhattan.

"BOSCO!" When her voice came out this time it was a sound that she didn't even recognize. The call scrambled and the line went dead. Liz stood there frozen with the receiver pressed against her head. Tears sprung up in her eyes as an earth shattering though popped into her mind. What if she never saw him again? What if he went down there and never came back? A sob escaped her lips as she dropped the phone to the floor. Sure they had both seen their share of close calls but something about today was different. Her eyes flicked to the TV screen as the commentator was stuttering and stumbling trying desperately for words that described an unimaginable horror. Liz was shaking as she held onto the back of the couch for support her gaze remaining transfixed on the newscast. The camera panned back and forth as a close up of the gaping burning hole in the north tower came into view. A man in a blue shirt and beige pants leaned far out of a window just above the charred blackness. She couldn't understand what he was doing; she wanted to yell...get back in there...you could fall….find a stairwell. He leaned out even more and she wanted to look away but she couldn't. He was waving his arms wildly, desperately. He looked down and then back in the building. Bending his knees he launched himself out of the window and into the clear blue sky. Liz stared open mouth as the TV station abruptly cut away from the tower and back to the studio where the anchor was silent.

Breathing heavily she snatched the remote off the couch turning the TV off. This couldn't be real. She saw her bruised reflection in the blank screen as Atlas whined at her feet. Forcing the image of someone jumping to their death from her mind she shook her head. She needed to get a grip. More than that, she needed to go down there and find him.

* * *

In all his days as a cop, Bosco had never felt the urge to run as strongly as he did the moment that plane disappeared into the building. He wanted to get out of the car and run as far away from this as he could get. Every fiber of his being said get away; far away. Run ! This was no accident; two planes within fifteen minutes of each other. That plane was aiming for the building. It sped up; he felt the throttle of the engines deep in his chest. This was an attack.

"Jesus Christ." Jackson muttered the words as a fear so real and palpable filled the car. Bosco tore his eyes away from the building and guided the RMP down the ramp at Church Street. What the hell do you do for this? He had no experience that could even remotely compare and there was no protocol. Traffic was jammed on the street as he wheeled the car onto the sidewalk, put it into park and radioed their location to central. It was useless as the radio was jammed. Bosco got out of the car and looked up as sirens rang out all around. Papers fluttered in the street as an FDNY ladder truck full of grim looking guys thundered past.

Jackson climbed out of the car as he joined Bosco in looking up. Counting he estimated at least twenty floors in the North Tower above the impact zone and even more in the South Tower. Directing traffic was wishful thinking as it became obvious they would be going in there and evacuating people until God only knows when. His eyes roamed over to Bosco digging through the trunk as he produced two blue NYPD rescue helmets used for hazardous situations like this. For a second he thought about just walking away. Fuck Bosco, what was he going to do? He didn't give a shit about being a cop and he really didn't care about helping anyone but himself. That was dumb, though, when this mess was all over it would shine a very bad light on him; a light that would surely illuminate all of his past indiscretions. Chewing on his lower lip Jackson begrudgingly donned his rescue helmet and followed Bosco across the street.

Bosco ran toward the tower not really caring if Jackson was behind him or not. No matter how scared he felt this was his job and he was going to do it. He slowed down as he saw a group of Port Authority cops carrying a man who had been badly burned in a chair. At first he didn't understand. How had they already gotten up to the impact zone? What Bosco didn't know was flaming jet fuel had traveled down the elevator shafts and exploded into the lobby nearly incinerating anyone who stood in its path. Tearing his eyes away from the gruesome scene he picked up some speed and rounded the corner near the rear courtyard of the trade center. Dust clouded the sunny sky as Bosco struggled to find someone who knew where to go. Behind him Jackson followed albeit not with much urgency.

Bosco coughed as he crossed the street. He had been in these streets many times before and never had they looked like this; paper, debris, and dust blowed all around as human blood was spilled on the streets and sidewalks. People were running past him in sheer panic with no idea of where to go except far away. It was a scene from the most realistic horror movie he had ever seen. Finally a couple of NYPD ESU guys came toward him.

"Hey guys, where's the command post?" They were in a hurry but they still stopped and acknowledged Bosco and Jackson with a nod.

"Tower One. I think in the lobby. You guys be safe." They took off in the opposite direction yelling something about needing more tools. Bosco watched them go as a pervasive feeling of unrest came over him. Looking across the street he saw a set of revolving glass doors that presumably led to the lobby of Tower One. He had been in many a dangerous situation in the past but this was bigger than all that put together. It was chaos in its purest form. Nobody was in charge, nobody knew what to do, and nobody knew what was going to happen next. A man in a business suit with his phone pressed against his head knocked into Bosco as he sprinted away from the building. Stumbling back a few steps Bosco had to suppress the urge to tell the jag off to watch where he was going. Pulling out his own cellphone he dialed a familiar number.

Against the building Jackson also took his phone out although he had no one to call. Pretending to be occupied he watched Bosco pace back and forth as he stared upward. Even on a day like today, one that would go down in history, Jackson could think of no one but himself. He was at his core evil and a narcissist that exploited his power in society to get everything he wanted. He didn't really want to kill anyone but if they got in his way he didn't mind getting rid of them. That's how Yokas went down. Eyes wandering over to Bosco he knew inevitably their issues would come to head and he would be dealt the same fate. Just how soon that would happen he didn't know.

Bosco pressed the phone to his ear as he paced back and forth.

_One Ring_

The building was only thirty or so feet from where he stood as he stared up at nothing in particular. His eyes were, of course, drawn to the charred black hole and billowing thick smoke. It looked like an animal came along and took a bite out of the building. Above and below the main area of impact smoke shot out of the building around the windows and through the cracks in the weakened steel frame. It looked like a tea kettle about to explode. Bosco's eyes wandered across the shiny metal face of the building when something caused him to do a double take. Just above the charred metal an orange and beige object appeared leaning far out of the window. It was a strange sight, something so crisp and clean amidst such destruction. He couldn't make out what it was but it looked like it was waving.

_Two Rings_

His eyes wandered just below the object he had been staring at as he caught a glimpse of a second object and then a third, a fourth, and fifth. All different colors, all leaning far out of the windows; some were waving others weren't. Swallowing hard a sobering realization dawned on him...they were people. Normal, everyday people who took the PATH Train or the LIRR, got a coffee, read their e-mails, groaned about the Giant's game…and now they were fucking hanging out a window over a thousand feet in the air trying to avoid being burned alive. He didn't want to look but he couldn't stop looking. It was almost as surreal as the plane flying into the building. A sight so grotesque and unusual there was nothing that could compare to it. At least that's what he thought...and then the guy in the orange shirt let go.

"Bosco?!" In his ear he heard her voice but he couldn't speak. The phone drifted down from Bosco's ear as he suddenly felt weak. The guy went feet first but within seconds was tumbling end over end. He was watching a man's final moments and he could do nothing to stop it. End over end over end…he got closer and Bosco could hear him screaming. In the months and years after that horrible day he would often ask himself how he knew it was that guy and no one else. But he knew. The shrieks of terror that formed the cacophony of background noise that day were nothing compared to the low, guttural, almost primal sound he heard coming from a man who was a split second from death. It was a sound he could never and would never forget. Reflexively Bosco turned away just before he hit the pavement with a sickening wet thud. He kept his eyes shut…he didn't want to see that.

Across the street he heard shrieks as a group of people ran past the body. Opening his eyes he was careful to not look at it as he saw a few women sobbing, seemingly paralyzed by a horror they could have never imagined. In the thick of the most startling, frightening, horrific moment of his life Bosco felt a flicker of normalcy. He had something to do. He needed to get them out of there; debris….and people….were still falling from the sky. He needed to be a cop and not just another horrified observer. Stepping out into the street he waved his arm wildly north. "GO! GET OUT OF HERE!"

In Bosco's hand the phone scrambled amidst the unprecedented cellular demand and the call was dropped. When he brought the receiver back up to his ear the line was dead. Just out of his view, behind a maintenance fence on the plaza, he heard a peculiar whistling sound followed by a blur and then a loud crash. It was just debris…but in his heart he knew it wasn't. Bosco swallowed hard as fear mounted deep inside his belly. His hands and toes tingled as adrenaline made his heart pound. This wasn't a good place to be…he could feel it down deep in his bones.

Behind Bosco, Jackson crouched down behind a police van as his gaze wavered between the macabre scene in the street and the one over a thousand feet up in the sky. This was fucking unreal. If they made it out of this and by his estimation that looked like pretty big if, there would be one shining benefit. Nobody would be looking at him for Yokas or anything else for a very long time. His eyes settled on Bosco; if he didn't make it back this would be dead all together and life would go on as it always had. Something that sounded like a bag of cement crashed just out of view. He knew what it was. If it was so bad in there that the better option was to jump out the window then surely not only would there be a loss of civilians life but also first responders. No way would the NYPD or FDNY come out of this without a single casualty. Given the circumstances and what they were about to run into it almost seemed expected. So what if Bosco didn't make it back…and what if he helped that happen. No one would ever know the difference. Jackson had very little self-awareness yet somewhere deep inside he knew how completely messed up this was. On what would most likely be considered the worst day in the history of this city, Brian Jackson was thinking of how to make sure his 'partner' didn't make it home. He was a narcissist and a psychopath with not a shred of empathy in even the most horrific situation.

Bosco cast a glance over his shoulder at Jackson crouched down behind the van. He leered at him out of the corner of his eye like earlier in the roll call room. Bosco brushed it off; they needed to get to the command post. "We gotta get out of here !" Bosco didn't wait for Jackson to answer as he took off running toward the lobby door. He didn't look up; it was stupid but he didn't want to know. If something was going to hit him there wasn't much he could do about it. He could have looked for another way around, maybe a covered entrance that would be safer but how long would that take? It wasn't smart but at that point he was operating mostly on fear.

Bosco reached the lobby door as another loud crash came from somewhere behind him. His heart pounded as he pushed the door open. He felt Jackson come up next to him and he was honestly surprised. Bosco didn't have time to think about it as he kept moving through the lobby toward the command post. FDNY companies stood around their respective leaders discussing what to do first, other groups headed into the stairwell, still others were continuing to flow through the front door. The two ESU guys Bosco saw earlier were with a few others with bags of tools, rope, and heavy rescue gear moving toward the stairwell. A few patrol cops stood around directing people out of the building although Bosco saw no one from the 55. Jackson was silently following him and for the first time Bosco felt uncomfortable. He had learned a lot about being with the enemy in Brooklyn but this was so much bigger than anything he had ever seen before. And the person backing him up…the person he was going to depend on to get out of this thing was Brian Jackson. Bosco had confidence that he could do most anything on the job but this…today…it wasn't anything.

The Tower One command post was a beehive of activity; most of it FDNY chiefs deciding what to do next. Behind them Bosco saw the chief of the Port Authority Police talking on the radio as a few cops stood around him. It made sense; the Port Authority owned the building and knew it better than anyone else. Without hesitation Bosco presented himself and asshole to the PAPD chief. "Chief…Boscorelli and Jackson from the 55. Where do you need us?" Bosco had never seen the man before; an older guy with graying hair and glasses that slid halfway down his nose that looked like he was in so far over his head that he didn't know were to start.

The relief was evident in his face as he spoke, "Thank God. We need guys to go up and sweep the floors. Need to make sure everyone's out." Someone called him on the radio and he stopped to answer before turning back and looking Bosco straight in the eyes. "Encourage people to exit under the footbridge off Church." The man licked his lips and looked away before continuing seriously. "We don't want them to get hit by one of…" He trailed off and Bosco didn't need him to continue to know where this was going. Averting his gaze downward he nodded. At that moment a loud crash and broken glass. Bosco flinched involuntarily knowing full well it was a life that just ended.

"Yeah Boss, I understand." From behind Bosco came an irritated voice.

"Why are we searching for people? Isn't that FD's job?" Bosco had never been more humiliated by a partner than he was at that moment. If he could have rolled up into his shoes he probably would have. The PAPD chief was talking to three different people but when he heard that he turned and sharply stared Jackson in the eye.

"They're a little busy today. Putting out the big fire." Had the circumstances been different Bosco may have taken pleasure in watching that jackass be demoralized to the level of a five year old. "Take stairwell A. I'll send the next two up B. Do a primary search of every floor. You find someone injured call for the medics. Stay behind the FD."

Bosco nodded wanting to minimize any further confrontation with Jackson and the Chief. "We got it boss." The man nodded his solemn thanks to Bosco as he gave Jackson a hard look. "Which way to stairwell A." The chief pointed as he keyed up his radio.

"PAPD command I have NYPD Boscorelli and Jackson headed up stairwell A to start a primary search of all floors below the impact." Stairwell A was only about ten feet from the command post as Bosco fell in line behind some firemen heading up. Behind him he heard Jackson smacking his lips in disgust as he spun around nearly knocking into the much bigger man.

"Look asshole you don't want to come fine, see ya later. I'm not your boss and I don't give a shit what you do." Jackson smirked; the heat was on and Bosco was trying to be the little big man. "In case you don't remember people are jumping out of the fucking windows upstairs." It was the first time Bosco said it out loud and hearing the words didn't make it seem any less surreal. All of this was beyond even his wildest nightmares. Bosco turned to enter the stairwell as he paused looking at Jackson one last time. "If you're coming then shut the fuck up an do your job." Bosco didn't wait for a reply as he entered the stairwell taking the steps two at a time. The company in front of him surged ahead practically running; they had eight or ninety floors to climb before they even got to the fire. When Bosco heard footsteps behind him he felt his heart sink. He really thought Jackson would split and leave him on his own. The fact that he didn't made him suddenly more uncomfortable than being alone.

**9:30 am**

The first few floors of the tower were unoccupied as Bosco burst through the door on the fourth floor breathing heavy from anxiety and exertion. He had only been inside the Trade Center once before today for training on high-rise buildings during the academy and unfortunately he didn't remember a single thing. He did know that most of the floors had an open layout, thank God, and would easier to search than partitioned offices. Looking around Bosco was struck by how quiet it was in contrast to the chaos of the lobby. Computers hummed, fans whirled, an occasional phone rang; the cubicles were uniformly drab tan and the windows marched around all sides of the building. Outside he saw a blue sky clouded by dust and falling debris. Behind him Bosco heard footsteps coming up the stairs slow and purposeful. God he wished Liz was with him right now; part of him was glad that she was far away from all this mess the other part wanted and needed her so bad it almost brought tears to his eyes. He remained focused on the job but he was also scared out of his mind. He just wanted his partner there with him. At that moment Brian Jackson stepped beside him. Taking a deep breath Bosco hoped the other man didn't see his moment of weakness.

"You go left, I'll go right. Meet back here." Bosco took off walking quickly peering down the lines of cubicles looking for anyone who still remained. Sliding his cell phone out of his pocket he took the momentary reprieve from Jackson to hit the send button again. He need to talk to her and tell her he was ok. He needed to tell her he loved her; fuck all the grandiosity of this morning's plans he just needed her to hear him say the words. She had to know, just in case. The phone rang once and his heart lifted before he heard a scrambled sound and the line went dead. He wasn't surprised but he was disappointed.

* * *

Liz ran down west 86th street; the pain in her leg completely gone as she held loosely onto Atlas's leash. The precinct was about ten blocks away and she needed to get there and find out where he was. In her heart though she already knew. If someone needed help, if there was a job to do; Bosco would be there. He would never hang back and let someone else take his place. That fact made Liz feel both proud and afraid as tears came to her eyes. Just this one time she hoped her partner wouldn't be a hero. Traffic was building across the city as word of what was going on downtown had spread. Weaving through taxis jamming the intersection she heard Atlas's collar jingling behind her. Briefly she thought about leaving the dog behind where he would be safe. However one look at the determination in his eyes and she knew he would sniff all of Lower Manhattan if that's what it took to find him. She tried the phone over and over and she couldn't get through to anyone. Bosco's phone went right to voicemail, the call was dropped when she tried Sullivan and Davis, and Callahan didn't pick up. She tried calling the 55 too but it was perpetually busy.

Three more blocks to the station; her heart pumped as her feet pounded the pavement. A woman came out of storefront ahead and waved her arms at Liz. No way was she stopping for some garden variety bullshit right now. "Officer ! Officer! What's going on?" She didn't slow down as she passed the woman throwing over her shoulder.

"I don't know." That wasn't completely true. She saw that second plane hit the building over and over just like everyone else with a TV in New York. One plane maybe she would buy it as an accident. Two planes; the second one full throttle into the building. It was terrorism. At the moment, though, she didn't really give a shit why. She just needed to get down there and find him.

Liz burst into the 55 sweaty and panting for air. Atlas wasn't in much better shape behind her as he dutifully followed her every step of the way. The place was a beehive of activity with cops coming in wearing street clothes and hurrying back out in uniforms only a few minutes later. Scanning the building her eyes landed on Swersky at the front desk. Pushing a few people out of the way she caught his attention.

"Boss! Where is he?" The phones were ringing off the hook as the Lieu was pulled in ten different directions. A surge of fear and impatience shot through her as she grabbed the receiver out of his hand this time yelling. "WHERE THE HELL IS MY PARTNER?!" Swersky wasn't even surprised as a look of helplessness crossed his face. Leaning across the desk he spoke in a low tone.

"He went downtown with Jackson about a half hour ago." Liz stared at him. That had to be a mistake, no way she heard that right.

"Jackson?" The look of concern on her face made the Lieu feel like he had made a grievous mistake.

"Yeah…Jackson. They're riding together today." The fear inside Liz at that moment was so overwhelming she doubled over. She knew he would be down there. Her worst fear was that he would be alone. He wasn't alone, though, he was with the man who killed his partner. She sucked in air trying not to pass out right there. This was so much worse. Straightening up Liz didn't say a word as she headed for the door. "Liz!" Swersky hung up the phone as he motioned her back. She was reluctant to come; how could he do such a thing…put her partner with Jackson. She knew he had no idea but still it seemed like such an injustice. Swersky hung up the phone before looking at her in a way that made her very uncomfortable. "That was the Port Authority Command Center. Bosco and Jackson checked in with the PAPD chief in Tower One. He sent them up into the Tower to evacuate anyone left behind." Liz turned around and started walking away before Swersky finished talking. She didn't want to hear anymore. Tears spilled out over her still bruised cheeks as she pushed the door open and stepped into daylight; ironically beautiful not a cloud in the sky daylight.

"Liz?" Through tears she saw Sully's face and for the first time in an hour she felt a small burst of relief. "He's down there, isn't he?"

"We gotta go." Jumping into the closest RMP she loaded Atlas in the back. Sully didn't saw a word as he got in next to her. They were going down and they weren't coming back until they found Bosco.

* * *

**9:50 am**

Bosco's chest heaved up and down as he trudged up another set of stairs. How the fire department was doing this with 70 or more pounds of gear was beyond him. The steady stream of people coming down the stairs had begun to slow as they climbed higher. Most of the people coming down didn't look injured and they also hadn't found anyone on their search yet. This fact lead Bosco to one major realization; all those people…the ones he saw hanging out of the windows…they were trapped. He expected to see people burnt, covered in soot, and barely able to walk. But so far he hasn't seen a single person who looked anything but scared or exhausted. Bosco didn't know how many people were on those upper floors; hundreds or thousands he guessed. No stairwells, no elevators, burning jet fuel, thick black smoke, and no way out. He couldn't think about it; not right now anyway. They had a job to do and he needed to keep doing it.

The building had become sweltering hot and he was soaked with sweat. There was no ventilation as a heavy smell of fuel permeated the air. Grabbing the door he looked at the floor number as he swung it open. Floor twenty; another open office plan of endless cubicles. Jackson was still behind him and at this point Bosco would say he was more confused than anything else. The man had ample opportunity to turn around and leave. There was some reason he was sticking by him and it made Bosco worried more than anything else. They didn't need to talk anymore when they got to a floor; they just went their separate ways in silence.

Jackson went his own way shining a flashlight under desks and opening closed doors. Truth be told he couldn't care less if someone was too chicken shit to get up and run out of the building. Given the opportunity he was pretty sure all those people on the upper floors would do anything to get to a stairwell right about now. He was waiting for his opportunity; some way to ditch Bosco in a dangerous situation. Surely the higher they climbed it wouldn't be hard to find peril and give a little nudge from behind. It was really more perfect than Yokas; who would ever know the difference in this shit show? He was already cooking something up; Jackson himself busy evacuating the injured Bosco dashed up the stairs alone trying to play super cop and got himself killed. His chance would come; he just needed to be patient. Cruising down the row of cubicles Jackson stopped short. It wasn't a cowering office worker he saw…oh no…something much better. A wallet stacked full of bills just sitting out on the desk for the taking. Looking over his shoulder he didn't see Bosco anywhere. The desk had a name on it Mitchell Lennox, a rich bastard name if Jackson ever heard one. Picking the wallet up Jackson rifled through the bills. It was a couple thousand easy. Nobody would ever know and even if the guy did get back to his desk they would never be able to prove who did it. Unfolding the money from the wallet Jackson spread it out in his hands. It felt so good.

Bosco tried his best to look under every desk just in case. It was unlikely anyone was there but if he left someone behind he would never be able to live with himself. Pulling the phone out of his pocket he hit send again. He had been trying every couple floors with nothing. This time when he brought the receiver to his ear he heard nothing but dead air. Pulling the phone back he looked at the call history. Ten sent calls to Liz; not one connected since the first. Looking over the cubicles he looked out the window at Brooklyn across the river. Jesus what he wouldn't give right now to be back in Brooklyn with her sitting on the roof of that shitty apartment. He would take her in his arms and tell her he loved her; he wouldn't worry about how it sounded or what words he used. He would just tell her. 'I love you, Liz' or 'You've changed my life' or the words that rang most true in his heart 'I can't live without you, Liz.' Sometimes it almost felt like he couldn't breath without her there. Blinking a few times he tore his eyes away from the windows and continued looking. Bosco came around the corner expecting Jackson to be waiting for him at the doorway as he had for the last twenty floors; wordless, scowling, and eyes gleaming with menace. Instead he was standing next to a desk, his back turned clearly occupied by something. Bosco was about to yell out but caught himself. Something wasn't right.

Cautiously Bosco moved toward Jackson along the windows, in his peripheral vision he saw the South Tower burning a hundred feet away. Debris continued to rain down against a blue sky that was clouded by a sheen of gray smoke. "What the hell are you doing?"

Jackson shoved the bills in his pocket a second too late as he heard Bosco coming up behind him. Turning around he shrugged, "What?" Feigning innocence he began walking away.

"Don't you dare walk away from me." Sweat dripped down Bosco's face and his voice was low and deadly. Jackson stopped but didn't turn around. "You fucking piece of shit. I always knew you were dirty." Looking on the desk Bosco saw a name plate; 'Mitchell Lennox' and a picture of a woman and four kids. Picking the photo up Bosco looked at it for a second. Nice looking family all smiling at the beach, hopefully Mitchell was long gone on his way home to them. "Hey look, here's picture of the guy you're ripping off right now!" Holding the photo up Bosco waited for Jackson to turn around and when he didn't it made him even angrier. "NO! LOOK AT THEM!" Jackson turned around but he didn't look, just sneered at Bosco looking right through him. "You know what I bet his kids don't mind going without clothes or food or toys. You just go right ahead...and while you're at it call upstairs and tell all those people who are JUMPING OUT THE FUCKING WINDOWS you're busy down here pilfering someone's wallet." Bosco threw the frame across the room. Hitting the wall it shattered on the tile floor.

Jackson shrugged clearly indifferent to everything. "Come on, Bosco. This guy don't need it..." Making eye contact he looked at him in disbelief. "Don't tell me you never took..." Before he could finish Bosco took him by the shirt and pushed him against the plastic cubicle wall. The mere fact that Jackson drew a parallel between the two of them was enough to make Bosco lose it.

"I never took anything." Bosco ground his teeth as the muscles in his jaw flexed. "NOTHING!" Letting go he took a step back. His heart was pounding and his chest heaved. Adrenaline pumped through his veins making his hands shake. "I know you killed, Faith." He stopped watching Jackson closely for any reaction. The larger man stood up straightening his shirt out casually as if Bosco had just asked him to go get lunch. "And I know how you did it...I just can't figure out why."

Jackson smirked leaning into Bosco's ear, "It's not about what you know, though, it's about what you can prove." That was it. Six months of anger, guilt, and sadness coupled with the stress of their current situation exploded as Bosco finally snapped. Winding up he hit Jackson square in the face. The larger man, not expecting that, stumbled backwards as his helmet fell off his head. Kicking him in the ribs, Bosco took pleasure watching Jackson crumple to the ground in a moaning heap. So many nights he sat awake wondering why. Why Faith? What did she ever do to them or anyone else for that matter. Looking down at Jackson he lunged for his throat wrapping his fingers around the soft flesh.

"Why? You prick! She was a wife and a mother and a friend but most of all she was my PARTNER!" Bosch slammed Jackson's head off the plastic wall; the pictures hanging on the other side jangled and fell to the floor. "JUST FUCKING TELL ME WHY ALREADY!" The larger man's eyes bulged out of his head and he made a sick wheezing sound that Bosco found strangely satisfying. His fingers slipped in the sweat on Jackson's neck and unlike Mickey Bosco didn't wonder if he could kill this time. He didn't even think about it; however this was going to end, he didn't much care at the moment. He was going to take this as far as he needed to get the answers he wanted.

**9:59 am**

Somewhere in the distance Bosco became aware of a low rumble. Jackson stared into his eyes defiantly; he wasn't going to beg. The rumble gathered in it's intensity as the floor began to shake. Bosco lost his footing as his fingers slipped off Jackson's neck and he fell backwards the helmet flying off his head and skidding across the floor. The ceiling tiles bounced up and down as computer monitors vibrated off desks hitting the floor. Bosco looked around his eyes wide as not a single conscious thought went through his mind. Something was happening with the building; another explosion maybe or the upper floors were collapsing. The lights went out as his heart pounded. Bosco scrambled toward the stairwell leaving Jackson laying on the floor. The stairwell was the strongest part of the building, he didn't know much but he knew that. Pushing the door open he tripped out onto the landing covering his head with both hands.

The building rocked erratically as Bosco got down and pulled his head into his knees. Behind the steel door he heard the windows shatter. He pinched his eyes shut and for the first time he wondered if he was about to die. This was too much to be nothing. Maybe the jet fuel upstairs had exploded and the building was coming down? Maybe the upper floors had weakened and were collapsing down on top of him? Maybe it was another plane or a bomb or who the hell even knows what. He covered his ears with his hands praying that it would stop. What was going to happen? WHAT? Was he about to be burned alive or crushed or ripped into two ? Should he try to run for it or stay there? He didn't know; he couldn't know. What he did know was that he was filled with a sudden overwhelming sense of sadness. His whole life he searched for someone to love him and accept him. Someone who had his back no matter what. And someone he could give all the love inside of him to. He found her...in the most unlikely of places at the most unlikely of times. On the worst day of his life he took the last exit to Brooklyn and met a woman who changed his life and together they discovered a love that knew no boundaries. A love that was still so new and beautiful and now as Bosco crouched down in a stairwell of a building he was sure was about to collapse he knew deep inside himself that he would never get the chance to fully experience that love. Worse than that he never even told her that he loved her back. And now he was so sure he would never get that chance and it filled him with the most profound sadness he had ever known.

Ten...nine...eight... How many more seconds before it was over? Seven...six...five...Would it hurt? Four...three...two...Why the hell did this have to happen? Then just as Bosco was so sure he was about to die,that it was his last moment on earth, the shaking stopped and the building settled. The emergency lights buzzed in the stairwell as he opened his eyes. He was alive. Standing up he cautiously opened the door to the twentieth floor once again. The windows were blown out and a fine gray dust covered everything in site. The radio on his shoulder was silent for the first time today as he was filled with an eerie feeling. Taking a few cautious steps he peered around the wall where he left Jackson half expecting to see him still laying there. The floor was empty and Bosco swallowed hard. The outside noise was now coming in through the broken windows drawing his attention across the room toward the shattered glass. Blinking his eyes he shook his head. Walking toward the windows he felt a sudden sense of confusion. A gray cloud but through the center of it he was sure he saw daylight. Sucking in a sharp breath he suddenly felt dizzy. The other tower was gone.

It was a sight so startling and unexpected he never heard Jackson come up behind him. In one swift motion the butt end of Jackson's service piece connected with the back of Bosco's head. The gray haze that filled Bosco's vision flashed to white as he fell forward. Blood ran down the back of his neck as the shards of broken glass all over the floor cut his hands and knees. Bosco blinked a few times as he tried to figured out what had just happened. Something must have broken loose from the ceiling and hit him over the head. His ears were ringing but he still heard the scuffling of footsteps behind him. Jackson. Bosco struggled to his feet but he was too late as he felt a boot connect with the side of his ribs. Falling onto his left side he looked up. Jackson stood over him looking like a ghost covered in white dust, blood running down the side of his face. Six inches taller and at least fifty pounds heavier it wasn't difficult for Jackson to grab him by the shirt and pull him too his feet throwing him against the sliver of wall between two shattered windows. Bosco tore his eyes away from Jackson as he looked down; twenty stories...at least two hundred feet to the ground. Sirens, horns, screaming, and a strange creaking sound that seemed to be coming from inside the walls. He returned his gaze to Jackson; an evil look of determination on his face.

If there was no Liz he would tell Jackson to piss off right now. Do what he was going to do and get it over with. Throw him out the window, shoot him in the head, push him down the stairs. Just make your move already. The other building had collapsed; it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out this one wasn't far behind. But there was Liz and he was filled with an overwhelming urge to survive. To get the hell out of what seemed like an impossible situation and find his way back to her.

Jackson saw the fire in Bosco's eyes and it made him sick. This stupid bastard actually thought he had a chance. Leaning his weight into Bosco he pushed him further toward the jagged glass of the window so that his back was against nothing but open air. Two hundred feet to the ground; nobody would ever know the difference. The other tower was down and Jackson could see Brooklyn where a building used to stand. Hundreds of cops and firefighters were in that building and now they were dead. What was one more? Bosco would die a hero and he would be free and clear.

"You know, Bosco. I always win. No matter what." His voice came out low and deadly. "You want to know what happened with Yokas? I'll tell you." Bosco's eyes widened. He was going to kill him. Jackson tightened his grip on Bosco a few pieces of glass were all that was holding him inside right now. "I been taking everything I could get my hands on for years now...money...drugs. Anything. I gamble I lose it all and then I have to go out and find more; it's an addiction." Jackson leaned in closer; Bosco could feel hot breath against his face. "Kenny Long was on my dime...my FUCKING DIME! I find out he's skimming I go over there to give him a beating he'll remember. One problem though, your dumb bitch partner decides to see what I'm up to." Bosco felt the anger begin to burn inside of him at the mention of Faith. "She saw me put a bullet in his head so I had to find way to get rid of her...and if you went with her, oh well." The larger man sneered, dust falling off of him onto Bosco like fine snowflakes. "So we made a bogus call and I knew you'd be all over it...waited for you to blow by and then just as you came up on Lex I floored it and pushed your stupid ass out in front of that truck." All along Bosco knew he stopped. Slowly he slid his right hand around the gun on his waist. Releasing it from the holster he waited, gauging Jackson's face for any acknowledgement; there was none. He was too busy priding himself on how he killed another cop and got away with it. "Really it worked out better than I could have hoped; it would have only been perfect if you were dead too."

Jackson pushed him against the glass and the open void. This was it. Go out the window or make your move. In one swift motion Bosco pulled the gun out and squeezed the trigger. Jackson seeing the sudden movement quickly moved to the side, the round slicing through the side of his bicep. Blood squirted onto the floor but he didn't feel pain, not yet anyway. Charging Bosco Jackson made sure he couldn't get another shot off before his arm was bent backwards against the glass cutting his forearm and causing him to drop the gun. Seeing his opportunity, Jackson kicked it out the window. It fell end over end over end through the gray haze hitting the pile below where it would be buried for months. Grabbing Bosco by the shoulders Jackson smashed his head off the wall. "You know, Bosco, I was just going to throw you out the window. But I want you to suffer for as long as possible."

Bosco's vision came in and out of focus and his head pounded. Jackson was dragging him along as he tripped over his own feet. He didn't know where they were going and he was filled with fear. Jackson had all the power right now; and he had no one to blame for that but himself. He should have paid more attention, should have fought harder, should have been smarter, and he should have gotten the hell out of there when he had the chance. Blood ran out of his nose as the dizziness made him want to vomit. He heard a door open and then Jackson's foot connected with his stomach pushing him backwards. The door slammed shut and he was in the dark.

Jackson didn't think as he pulled his service piece out. Racking the side he leveled the gun at the wooden door in front of him. A maintenance closet he found while sweeping the floor, never thought it would work out so good. Squeezing the trigger he didn't think as he blew off half a magazine's worth of rounds. His ears were ringing when he stopped. Putting the gun away he stared at the door. If he wasn't dead he would be soon. And just like that all his problems were over. Sneering, Jackson turned to leave. "Good luck, asshole."

The stairwell door opened and shut and the twentieth floor became quiet again. The blinds rattled as a late summer breeze blew through the building. Papers fluttered off desks and thin rays of sunlight shone through the dusty haze. A deep groaning sound came from the walls as time slipped away.

' _Bosco wake up ! Bosco ! Bosco !"_ Bosco reentered the conscious world with only one thought; mind numbing pain. Every part of him ached but he could breath and he was still alive. _'Bosco ! You need to get up.'_ He heard a woman's voice that sounded so much like Faith. Maybe he was dead. Sirens echoed in the background as he struggled to remember what happened. _'Come on, Bosco, please! For me, you need to wake up."_ Something warm against his cheek; it felt like a hand. Someone was in here with him. Forcing his eyes open he was met with darkness. Still he could sense the presence of another person. "Bosco. You need to get out of here." It was Faith's voice, clear as day he would know it anywhere. But how could that be possible?

"Faith?" Pushing himself up onto his elbows he tried to see through the blackness.

"I'm here, Bosco." Slipping back onto the floor Bosco took a few deep breaths.

"Does that mean I'm..." He had to be dead. This couldn't be happening any other way.

"No. You're not." He heard someone get to their feet next to him. Reaching down he felt two hands on him as they pulled him up to standing. "But you need to get out of here, right now."

"Faith...I can't. He shot me..I" Before could finish she cut him off.

"Never mind that right now." Her response struck him as strange but he didn't have time to think about it. Still dizzy and with a throbbing headache Bosco managed to find the door knob as bright light caused him to squint. Rubbing his eyes he became aware that someone was standing in front of him. Faith. She was there; looking like the last time he had seen her six months ago. Hair pulled up in a pony tail, face fresh and clean, her NYPD uniform crisp and ironed. He reached out and she took his hand in her own. It was warm and comforting and everything he needed right then. Bosco's voice choked in his throat as tears spilled down over his blood stained, bruised face.

"I'm sorry, Faith. I'm so so sorry." A sad smile crossed her pretty features as she nodded.

"It wasn't your fault, Bosco." He looked away for a moment and nodded himself although he clearly didn't believe her. Faith pulled her hand from his grasp. Bosco felt something in his hand but he didn't look right away. "You need to go, Bosco. Now."

Reluctantly he backed away from her toward the stairwell. He didn't want to leave her although he couldn't deny that her urging stirred a fear deep inside of him. Bosco put his hand on the door as he abruptly looked back at her. "I miss you, Faith."

Her face spread into a knowing smile. "I'll always be with you, Bosco." This time her own eyes misted over as her voice came out low, almost a whisper. "GO."

Bosco opened the door and took one step into the stairwell before looking back. She was gone. Opening his hand he found a red white and blue NYPD pin. Faith used to wear it all the time and after she died he couldn't find it anywhere. Squeezing his hand shut he started down the stairs taking them two at a time.

TBC...

**Part 3 of 3 in 9/11 arc coming soon !**


	27. That'll be the Day

**"Last Exit to Brooklyn"**

**Author** :carmen_085

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any Third Watch characters. I do own all original characters appearing in this story

**Author's Note:** The last installment in the 9/11 arc. Of course future chapters will contain aftermath but this is the last one with direct story telling on that day. If this upsets you please skip this chapter.

**Story Note:** We are getting closer to the end and I can't thank those who are still reading enough. I love to know what you think so if you have time please review

Chapter 27

_That'll be the Day_

Ten more blocks...nine more blocks...Liz hung her arm out the window drumming her fingers on the side of the car impatiently. Huffing she cast an irritated glare at Sullivan in the driver's seat.

"Can't you go any faster?" Sully had the accelerator pressed to the floor since they left the house as the speedometer was wretched over as far as it could go. Briefly looking a her he chose not to respond. He would be acting no different if he knew that Ty was down there somewhere. Flying through the intersection they narrowly avoided a collision with another patrol car.

Eight more blocks...Atlas whined in back seat as he went airborne for a brief moment. A wry smile came to Liz's face as a strange thought came to mind. If they had crashed just then who would come to save them. On any other day in this city that would be front page news and now she wasn't even sure there would be a single person who would come for them. Would they bleed to death; trapped inside a wrecked patrol car waiting for help to come from Jersey? What a strange situation in a place like New York. Even stranger she mused would it be for those who came to save them. Working a garden variety car accident to save two speeding assholes when hundreds...maybe thousands of people were dying just blocks away.

As they got closer Liz looked up at the burning buildings. They looked different than on TV. While the Today Show had painted the scene in sufficient horror the actual sight of it was something else. Blinking she shook her head; it was surreal. Like the worst, most vivid nightmare of your life. Liz felt her chest tighten as she looked away. Covering her face she didn't want Sully to see the tears in her eyes. Bosco was in there somewhere. Traffic slowed to a halt as Sully cast a look across the car. He couldn't see her face but he knew she was upset by the way she was breathing. Reaching across the console he put a hand on her arm as he pulled it away from her face forcing her to look at him. Her face was red as tears ran down her cheeks. Sully mustered a look of reassurance as he studied the expression on her face. A mixture of fear and worry, frustration and uncertainty. "We'll find him. I promise."

She shook her head. "Will we?" She gestured toward the horror up ahead. She shook her head she snorted; an ironic look on her face. "I've dealt with everything he's brought me, Sully. All the issues...all the baggage, all the fear and the self doubt and the guilt. I've been able to take all that on for him and somehow I fixed it. I protected him from everything that hurt and everything that could hurt." Gesturing toward the towers she pinched her eyes shut as a sob choked in her throat. "I can't fix this, Sully. I can't protect him from it."

Horns blared around them in futility as Sully stared at her dumbfounded for a moment. When Faith died he never thought that Bosco would have another partner. If he did there's no way he or she would be as good as Faith. No way they could care for him more or have his back the way Faith did. No way they would understand him the way she did. It just wasn't possible. But it was. It was was more than possible; it had happened. And she was so much better than he could have ever hoped for Bosco. Some guys in this job go an entire career with no partner; just co workers. No one they can really trust. Bosco never had anything but partners; he wondered if he knew how lucky he was. Shaking his head Sully cast his eyes back toward the traffic that was gridlocked. "We'll find him. And he'll be fine." He turned to look her right in the eye. "He will be. Bosco is the toughest son of a bitch I ever met on this job. He's fearless." Sully nodded as a small smile broke across her face. "You'll see. The two of you have a lot of time left together." Liz stared up at the burning tower letting Sully's word lift her spirit for just a moment.

"I don't think we're getting much further like this." Traffic was now a grid lock of emergency vehicles as Sully abruptly jerked the wheel as he guided the RMP onto the sidewalk. Vesey and Broadway; they would be walking from here. He estimated the Trade Center was five blocks away.

"Looks like this is as good as it's going to get." Liz nodded in agreement as Atlas whined in the backseat sensing the tension in the air. Casting a glance at the dashboard clock he threw the door open.

**9:59 am**

Liz opened the passenger side door as she felt the ground shake under her feet. Immediately she thought it was another plane. That morning there had been so many rumors no one knew what to believe and another plane was certainly not out of the question. Looking up toward the buildings she was frozen in place. The top of the south tower leaned toward them as if it was going to fall right off and go tumbling through the streets. Fire shot out from around the contorted frame as she felt a rumble deep in her chest. Liz's eyes widened as she watched the floors pancake downward. The building sunk away from the horizon until a cloud of dust was all that remained. She didn't know what to do. She couldn't move.

Her hair blew around her face as a strong gust of wind came out of no where. Papers and debris scattered in the street and the screaming around them intensified. Liz ripped her eyes away from the empty sky and focused on the street in front of them. People...they were running toward them at full tilt with a thick black cloud chasing them. Sully exhaled as he looked cross the roof of the car at her. She stared at him, eyes wide and a look of pure terror on her face. "Run!"

Liz turned in shock and began to move before Atlas's panicked barks broke her out of the trance she was in. _Oh Fuck ! Atlas._ She turned back; hands fumbling with the back door handle as the cloud got closer, the daylight dimming to a gray haze. On the other side Atlas pawed at the glass in fear that he would be left behind. The door clicked open and she didn't bother with the leash as she began running as fast as she could joining the stream of petrified people headed north. She could feel bits of debris sting the back of her neck as a strange sweeping noise inched closer. Nothing hurt anymore as pure adrenaline pump through every inch of her body. She could feel Atlas against her leg as she continued to run with no idea where she was going.

It got darker and for the second time this week Liz wondered if she might die. Only this time no one would be coming to save her, no one could stop this; not even God himself. Suddenly a set of hands grabbed her and drug her toward a parked ambulance. Someone pushed her onto the ground as she heard Atlas barking. It was completely black now and she could see nothing as she coughed and sputtered.

"Go! Go!" It was Sully's voice. He grabbed her and pushed her under the ambulance as he crawled in behind her, his upper body shielding her head and face.

Liz coughed as she yelled for the dog. "Atlas! COME!" In the pitch black darkness she heard him whining as he wiggled under the ambulance beside her. She wrapped her fingers around his collar burying her face in his fur. Even with her nostrils full of dust she could still smell his natural German Shepherd smell. She closed her eyes as that smell brought a familiar sense of comfort. It was how the patrol car smelled when she rode with Dave, and how her apartment smelled in Brooklyn, and it was how Bosco's bed smelled this morning when she rolled out of it. Pinching her eyes shut she concentrated on that familiar scent as armageddon descended on top of them.

Sully blinked his eyes as the street began to brighten and the dust settled. He let go of Liz as he rolled out from the under the bumper of the medic unit. Coughing he gagged on the dust that had found it's way deep into his lungs. Sully pushed up to his knees as he called to Liz, "I think it's over." Liz opened her eyes and it was light out again. Rolling out from under the ambulance she sat on the street head in her hands coughing struggling to breath. Her eyes watered and snot ran out of her nose as she wiped it away with the back of her hand. Atlas crawled out next to her and licked her face rubbing his own nose in her dirty navy blue uniform. A few people ran past them covered in dust headed north completely oblivious to anything but getting the hell out of there.

"What the hell just happened?" Sully helped her up as he squinted his eyes burning. Shaking his head he looked around for an answer. Two FDNY guys walked toward them looking battered to hell; jackets hanging open faces covered in gray.

"I don't know." Sully yelled out to the two fireman as they passed. "Hey guys what happened down there? Did the upper floors collapse or something?" They stopped and regarded Sully with amazement that he didn't know.

"Nah man." The guy was big and burly but suddenly he looked like a child. His face contorted with fear and unexpected emotion as his eyes flickered south before staring at them both solemnly. "The whole building. It's gone. Our guys...they were still in there." A sob choked in his throat as the other fireman reached out to put a hand on his shoulder. Urging him to keep moving they walked off without saying a word. Liz stared at them eyes wide with fear and disbelief. Anger and extreme urgency began to bubble up as she punched the side of the ambulance.

"What the fuck !" Sharply she turned on her heel and began stalking toward the Trade Center. Atlas close behind he didn't dare stray from her now.

"Where the hell are you going?" She didn't stop as she threw over her shoulder.

"To find my partner." Sully shook his head; it was dangerous before it seemed downright insane now. Running after her he caught up to her in the middle of the street as he grabbed her by the shoulder and spun her around.

"Liz ! You can't. It's too dangerous and.." Before he could finish he was struck by the look on her face. She didn't care at all about the danger or if she made it out of there. All that mattered to her was finding Bosco. And if he wasn't alive anymore she didn't want to be either. Sully shook his head as he let out a knowing grunt. "You're in love with him."

She looked toward the remaining tower and then back at Sully. "I love him , Sully." She raised her eyebrows as a half smile crossed her face. "I'm in love with him." A look of fierce determination replaced the smile. "And I'm going to find him one way or another." Pulling loose of Sully's grasp she began jogging south, Atlas at her heels. Looking up at the Tower still burning Sully looked north before turning to follow her.

"Crap."

* * *

**10:10 am**

One two three four five six seven eight nine ten. Bosco counted the steps out loud without realizing it. His chest ached and burned from being shot as a thin streak of blood ran down his arm. He knew Jackson's round had hit his vest...he didn't need to check. There wasn't time to check or to slow down for anything. The other tower was gone, he saw it with his own eyes. Broad daylight shining where a building used to be. And he heard it, after Jackson left and it was quiet, he heard the building ache and groan. An ominous sound emanating from deep in the walls. And then there was Faith, she was there. He hadn't seen her since the night she died. He thought he had memorized every detail about her but now seeing her after so long he realized that he had already forgotten some things. The way her hair hung loosely around her face, the upturn in her caring green eyes and strangely enough the sound of her voice. He thought he would remember that for the rest of his life but she sounded different to him and he suddenly realized that was because he was already forgetting. He never wanted to forget a single thing about her but time had filled his memory with new things and she was fading into the background.

Floor fifteen. One two three four five six seven eight nine ten. His feet thundered down the empty stairwell as his chest heaved up and down. Bosco's hand slipped on the railing as sweat dripped off his skin. Faith always had a way of saving him and so far since she died, she had managed to save him twice. The first time it was Emily she sent right in the nick of time to stop him from making a terrible mistake. He was ready to die that night, ready to shoot himself in the head and end it all. But he would have missed out on this big beautiful amazing life that was waiting for him just around the corner. And then at Rykers; humiliated and broken in that cell he was ready to give up. It was the closest he had ever been to losing his mind. But she was there; he never saw her only felt her. She told him to hang on, just a little bit longer and someone would change his life. And he did. He hung on... and Liz changed his life. This time it was different, though, in a lot of ways. He actually saw her...she was there. And he touched her...she was warm and alive and she felt so so real. But the message wasn't one of hope nor was she comforting him or telling him to hang on. She was warning him, urging him, no...no...she was telling him he had to get out. There wasn't any discussion or conversation for that matter. She warned him in the most ominous way that this wasn't a good place to be and he needed to get out. It stirred a fear so deep inside him he didn't even think to question it. Something awful was going to happen.

One two three four five six seven eight nine ten. Floor nine. A strange feeling began to bubble up in the pit of his stomach. Desperation. It wasn't really something he felt much in his life. From the day he was born he got what he got and he didn't care if it was here or gone. He never had anything so beautiful or so valuable he wanted to lock it up in a treasure chest. He never had anything so wonderful he was scared every minute of the day he might lose it. Liz was the best thing that ever happened to him. Which was funny because it took the worst thing that ever happened to find the best. So for the first time he had something to lose and that made him desperate. He had to get out of here. He had to get back to her. He just...he had to. He wasn't even sure his feet were touching stairs anymore as he jumped the last three, rounded the corner, and stopped cold.

**10:16 am**

"Now you just go on now. I just need a little rest and I'll be good as new." An older woman sat winded on the last step. Her hair was wet with sweat as her white blouse stuck to her back. He could see her chest heaving up and down as she struggled to catch her breath. Slowly Bosco walked down the stairs as he came up next to her. "Been walkin' for almost two hours now and these knees can't take much more."

"What floor were you on?" Everything inside him said to run but he couldn't just leave her.

"Oh honey i was up on seventy seven." She was quiet for a few moments. "Seen a lot of people...a lot of people burnt real bad." Bosco nodded. They didn't have time for this.

"I'll help you out." Without her consent he reached down and swiftly stood her up. The woman pushed against him as she shook her head violently.

"Just leave me, please. I'll be ok in a couple minutes." Bosco put his arm around her and held her up as he drug her down the stairs. "OH come on!"

Bosco stopped abruptly and looked her right in the eye. "We don't have a couple of minutes. The building isn't safe, we need to get out of here right now."

"What do you mean it isn't safe? The fire's all the way up there." She gestured upward as if the were in a bubble. Bosco stared at her in amazement that she didn't know. That was a common theme that day; some people knew nothing, others knew a little, and some knew...and saw too much.

"Lady, two airplanes hit the buildings. I saw the second hit myself." She shook her head not wanting to believe something so frightening. "And the other tower...you know the south tower. It's gone. The building collapsed."

"NO! NO! Don't you say that." She looked away tears coming to her eyes as she shook her head still struggling to breath. Bosco watched her and wondered if they could just take a break, just for a minute or two. Looking up he saw the floor sign on the wall, seven. They were almost out. Taking a deep breath Bosco closed his eyes. The emergency lights flickered and buzzed as they both stood there in silence for a moment.

' _You need to go Bosco, now.'_ His eyes snapped open. They had to go. Without a word he bent over and picked the woman up.

"Hey! What the hell are you doing?" She was small but still his chest burned from where he had been shot as the flesh wound on his arm began to ooze blood. Starting down the stairs he counted to himself this time one two three four five six seven eight nine ten. Was he making the wrong decision right now? He didn't know. All he knew was that he couldn't live with himself if he left her there. How many people could have left him in the last six months? Faith, Sully, Davis, Swersky, Callahan, Atlas, and most importantly Liz. They all could have turned their back on him so many times but they didn't. So he couldn't either.

"We're getting out of here." She weakly thrashed in his arms.

"I'm slowing you down. Just put me down and go." Floor five. They were almost there.

"No I can't do that." Sweat dripped down his face as he paused to readjust her in his arms.

"And why not?" She looked him right in the eyes. Without hesitation Bosco met her gaze.

"Because no one ever left me behind." A deep whining came from the walls reminding them that time was running out.

* * *

**10:20 am**

In her whole life Liz had never had stronger feeling of danger than she did walking toward the Trade Center. Everything around her was practically screaming; stop...don't go down there. Cops, firefighters, medics all running in the opposite direction looking at her like she was confused, stupid or maybe both. Some of the people were really hurt too. A lady covered in blood with a huge gash in her head. Liz and Sully quickly helped her over to a waiting ambulance before continuing on. A man, his glasses broken and hanging off his face, business suit torn, wandered around lost and confused. Another woman being carried by an FBI agent, she was burned badly and barely alive as he ran down the street past them without a word.

Putting one foot in front of the other she forced herself to keep walking. She wanted to think about nothing but moving forward and finding Bosco but that was impossible. What if he wasn't even alive anymore? NO! NO. She couldn't even let herself wonder that not for a second. She KNEW he was still alive. She could feel it. The sense she had of him was strong. Inside of her she felt full and alive and like this great big gust of wind was blowing at her back. That was Bosco. If he was gone she would feel empty and still. And she was so sure she would be able to feel this without even knowing for sure. So he was alive, and she trusted that great big gust of wind would keep her moving until she found him.

Rounding the corner she stopped cold. Behind her Sully almost tripped as he too laid his eyes on an absolutely unbelievable scene. "God damn." It was a whisper but she heard it as she let her eyes drift close for a moment. Fear and panic began to bubble up inside her as tears came to her eyes. She didn't know what to do. She was afraid. She wanted to run away. Her eyes drifted up the remaining building still burning and then back down to the plaza that was filled with 110 floors of debris.

Bosco would never leave her behind. And after all they went through in Brooklyn she never left him behind either. Taking a deep breath she forced herself to move forward. "Liz, I don't know about this."

She didn't have time for Sully. If he didn't want to come she couldn't fault him for that but she also wasn't going to stand around and argue with him. Turning she forced a smile like everything was ok, "It's ok. I'll meet you back at the house."

Sully stared at her. She was ready to die if that's what it took to find her partner. The thing about that was Sully didn't think Bosco was dead. He didn't have a sense of him like Liz did but still he just knew. And the reason he knew was Bosco was one tough son of a bitch. He had been through everything and shook it off, coming back better than ever. And he also knew because for the first time in Bosco's life he had something...someone...to come back to. Someone who was waiting for him. Sully watched Liz stalk toward the North Tower with Atlas right beside her. A blockade of fire trucks and FDNY brass the only things standing in her way between here and there. As much as twenty years of intuition told him to go the other way he couldn't. He needed to stay with her and make sure she didn't do anything too crazy. And if by some insane stroke of fate they all made it out of this epic mess he needed to make sure she was still there for Bosco to come back to.

Liz eyed the FDNY chiefs before proceeding around the fire truck. "Hey... Hey. Where the hell are you going?" One of the guys standing around grabbed her by the arm. Atlas reflexively stood his ground, baring his teeth. Looking down at the dog the firemen let go of her before taking a step back. "Alright..Alright. Sorry."

"I'm going in the tower. My partner is in there and I need to get to him." She looked at him like he was stupid. Sully came up behind her as he cast a wary eye up at the building and then back down.

"Look, Officer. I can't let you go in there. Everyone has been ordered out." He pointed toward the massive debris field. "The other building is gone...GONE!" She attempted to push him out of the way. Sully torn between backing her up and being the voice of reasons.

"Listen asshole, my partner is in that building. We don't leave our people behind and you should know that." He grabbed her again as she tried to push him out of the way.

"Lady this order is from the god damn fire commissioner !" She was done talking. Pushing him off of her she pulled her gun out and pointed it at him as Atlas stood ready at her side. The other FDNY guys stepped back staring in shock.

"What the fuck is this?" "Is she crazy?" "Who the hell is that?" Sully heard the other guys muttering among each other. If so many people weren't standing around right now and the situation wasn't so god damn dire he might have laughed. Bosco and Liz were literally the same person in two different bodies.

The guy who grabbed her stepped back with his hands up. "Do whatever you want, you crazy bitch." Putting the gun in her holster she looked slightly ashamed before stepping around him. Cautiously she met his eyes.

"I'm sorry. I just can't leave him behind." The firemen looked at her before looking away and then up at the building. Taking a deep breath he shook his head.

"I'll come with you guys." Stunned she searched his face for the reason behind this sudden change of heart. Heaving the air pack on his back, he fastened the chin strap on his helmet. Out of the corner of his eye he saw her staring at him in disbelief. "You're right. We don't leave our people behind. No matter what."

**10:29 am**

"We got to go around though...too dangerous to go straight across the..." Before he could finish the ground began to shake. Her heart pounded in her chest and time slowed down. Tiny pieces of debris rained down like sharp little snow flakes. The air all around her sucked away toward the building like the ocean before a tidal wave. She looked up already knowing the awful truth. The antenna on top of the building sunk from the sky as the floors collapsed downward. _Bam ba Bam...Bam ba Bam...Bam ba Bam._ It would be a sound she would remember for the rest of her life.

"RUN!" Not one conscious thought went through her mind as she turned and sprinted in the opposite direction. Unlike the first time; this time everyone ran. The fireman that was with her dropped the air pack on his back and pushed her out in front of him. "GO ! GO!" _Bam ba Bam...Bam ba Bam...Bam ba Bam._ She didn't think at all. Not even about Bosco. She just moved. Sully was breathing heavy behind her as he heard his feet pounding on the pavement. This time they didn't have seconds or even a minute before the apocalyptic plume of dust was on top of them. They wouldn't be able to out run this, no fucking way. Tiny shards of debris cut the back of her neck as the streets darkened once again. This time she didn't need to look back, she knew what was coming.

Rounding the corner she almost screamed. The Chambers street subway station. "LET'S GO! IN THE SUBWAY." This time she grabbed the fireman and pushed him down the stairs, Sully right behind him. No one else was coming and she prayed the other people who had been there were already some place safe. "ATLAS! COME!" The dog obeyed without question. He would have followed her anywhere that day. Even into the tower and almost certain death. One two three four five six seven eight nine ten. She jumped the last two stairs to the platform and kept running.

* * *

He heard it coming behind him like a freight train. _Bam ba Bam...Bam ba Bam._ And then the strangest ripping sound. Like a huge piece of material behind shredded right in half. He moved faster; he knew he could outrun it. Suddenly everything around him got dark and he realized he wouldn't outrun this. Looking around he didn't know where to hide. Before he could think about it anymore he was picked up and thrown into the entryway of a store. He covered his head and closed his eyes. This was it; something big and heavy was about to fall on top of him. Coughing he choked on the dust. He was going to suffocate; there would be no air left to breath.

It was pitch black out and he could see nothing but somewhere behind him he heard voices. Was he dead...was he alive. He had no idea. All he knew was he felt pain and fear which must mean he wasn't dead yet. "Open the door. Get him in here. Get him in." Bosco heard a jingling and felt a pair of hands swiftly drag him inside. "Oh my God. Are you ok, Officer?" A man with a spanish accent. "Jesus get him a towel...some water too." Bosco blinked his eyes trying to see anything but dust caked his eyes. He was in some kind of deli, the power was out and it was dark but he could make out a few people. Pushing up to standing he staggered over to a trash can. Leaning over Bosco threw up. There really wasn't anything there to throw up but still his body heaved involuntarily. Two hours of extreme fear, stress, and heavy physical exertion made his stomach flip into knots. Gray dust oozed out of his nose as he wiped it with the back of his hand. He had been so in control all morning and now he was a fucking mess. A young woman also with a spanish accent came up behind him and put a hand on his back. Pulling a chair up behind him she guided him back into the seat.

"It's ok. We're here with you." Strangely enough he was comforted by the fact that someone was there. It wasn't the person he wanted there but at least he wasn't alone. Taking the bottle of water from her hand he opened it and spilled it over his face. Wiping the dirt and dust from his eyes he was finally able to see. Coughing he nodded to the woman as his voice came out hoarse.

"Thank you. Both of you." Leaning on the trash can with his forearms his eyes drifted up to the windows. The man who pulled him inside leaned against the front door holding his head in disbelief. Bosco watched the dust cloud roll north as thin rays of lights began to peek through.

"A lot of people died today." Bosco focused on the man standing at the door. He didn't seem to be looking for a response; just stating the sad, awful truth. Standing up he wiped his face with the towel as he walked over to the window. The street was full of papers and dust; blowing around like one of the biggest cities in the world had been abandoned. Leaning against the glass Bosco closed his eyes as he exhaled.

"You're right. And I was almost one of them." Sliding his hand into his pocket Bosco turned Faith's NYPD pin over and over in his fingers.

* * *

**September 11, 2001**

**2:00 pm**

Sully exhaled loudly as he watched Liz poke her head into yet another dark crevice. Shining her light in all directions she listened for any signs of life before yelling in a hoarse voice.

"Can anyone hear me? Is anyone down there? Bosco!" They had been at it since the last collapse; nearly four hours. They were covered in a layer of dust and grime so thick Sully wasn't sure he would ever be clean again. Liz looked especially battered with the fresh wounds of her experience in Brooklyn shining under the gray film. She was becoming desperate and Sully could see she was on the verge of complete collapse. Yet still she soldiered on checking every gap, listening to every sound, and looking inside every crushed RMP.

When the ground stopped shaking and the air cleared they emerged from that subway tunnel to a post apocalyptic scene. The streets were deserted, businesses with front windows blown out, and a silence so eerie and consuming. As they slowly made their way down Chambers an overweight white man in a business suit wandered past. His mouth agape he wore wire rimmed glasses that were covered in dust and completely crooked on his face. He clutched his brief case as he walked past them in a daze. Sully would always remember that; this really put together man, no doubt successful, wandering around looking like a meth head.

At first he was sure they were going to find a lot of people trapped and in need of rescue. The debris field was massive and bloomed outward in every direction. Surely there were hundreds or even thousands of people still alive and trapped when they started looking; him, Liz, and Atlas, they looked everywhere they could look and then they looked some more. Minutes turned into hours and before the knew it the sun began to dip behind the buildings as morning turned to late afternoon. Sully leaned against a crushed RMP as Liz scrambled up a mound of debris; desperately thinking she heard something yet again. At his feet Atlas lay down in a pile of dusty ripped papers. The dog was tired, no doubt about that, but he was also defeated. Four hours and they had found not one living person. Hope that they would find Bosco or anyone else was slowly slipping away.

Liz slid down the side of the debris as she landed on the ground with a thud. The leg Mickey shot her in had been oozing blood for a while and she could feel it sticky and warm on the back of her sock. Pushing herself up she saw Sully coming toward her as she steadied herself. Her leg screamed in pain but she refused his help as she pushed his hand away. "Don't, Sully." Looking at him in the eye she grit her teeth. She didn't need or want anyone telling her what to do right now. She knew how desperate the situation had become but she refused, even now in the face of clearly insurmountable odds, to give up hope on her partner. Hobbling she found another RMP; her voice was now a whisper from all the yelling.

"Liz...Liz!" This was insane. Grabbing her forcefully this time he spun her around forcing her to look at him. The fire in her eyes blazed as unshed tears threatened to spill over.

"I can't give up on him, Sully." Blinking her eyes, her lower lip trembled slightly. "I just can't." Sully loosened his grip on her as he looked down.

"I know." Looking around he took a deep breath. They were getting no where and she was about to fall apart. "I think we should find a way back to the house." She looked at him dubious of his intentions. Drawing on every logical fiber in his being Sully was careful as he chose his words. "Bosco..." Oh to hell with being logical or sensible or whatever. "Liz...Bosco loves you and he would do anything to get back to you and I think that's where he's going right now. To find you..."

She paused for a moment as she looked away. Nodding her head she agreed that Sully was probably right. The smartest thing for them to do right now was head back to the house. Relenting she began walking north and away from the pile as it would come to be known. Atlas lumbered behind exhausted and defeated.

Liz walked in silence for blocks with Sully and Atlas behind her. She looked down at the sidewalk not really sure what to say or do next. Looking up for a moment something caught her eye. A church on the corner up ahead. The doors were wide open and people flowed in and out; some laying on the front steps, others disappearing inside. It was the first sign of life she had seen in the last four hours. Maybe Bosco would be there. She had to check. The front steps of the church were scattered with both first responders and civilians. A man with his head in hands, a woman bleeding from the head, a firefighter flat on his back staring blankly at the sky. She looked at their faces but only to see if they were Bosco. She didn't process the emotion; not right now anyway. There would be plenty of time for that later.

Atlas remained at her side as they stood in the entryway for a moment. The inside was dark, save for candlelight as the power in Lower Manhattan had been knocked out hours ago. The carpet had dusty footprints heading in all directions as she took a tentative step inside. Slowly walking down the middle aisle she scanned the pews for a familiar face. Some people were sitting, others laying, a few praying, some crying. Swallowing hard she came to the altar. He wasn't here. Sliding into the pew she sat down staring at the gigantic cross on the wall.

Sully looked at Liz and then back up at the dimly lit altar. He hadn't been to church in years and frankly didn't put much stock in it anymore. Too many years on the street told him most of what they preached in here was complete bullshit. Silently he slid in next to her, sitting down with a sigh.

Liz pushed herself forward onto the kneeler folding her hands in front of her face. Bowing her head she closed her eyes. Deep in her heart she knew that Bosco was still alive. She could still feel him; the sense of him that she had. Yet her mind continued to play tricks on her and the logics of the situation filled her with doubts. _'Oh God. If he's out there bring him back to me.'_ She let out a deep breath and before she could stop them tears began flowing flow her face. So many people died today...for no reason at all. The overwhelming sadness coupled with the extreme worry for Bosco finally broke her in half as she covered her mouth sobbing.

Sully watching Liz sobbing as he felt tears come to his own eyes. It was the first time either one of them stopped moving since this all began and the enormity of the situation had finally begun to dawn on them. Sliding forward onto the kneeler he hesitantly put his arm around her shoulders. She didn't put up much of fight as she leaned against him sobbing. Sully bit his lower lip not wanting to break down himself. He would be kidding himself if he didn't say he was deeply touched by how much love she had for Bosco. Taking a deep breath he steadied his voice so as not to upset her even more. "We'll find him. I know we will."

Wiping her eyes she pulled back just a little to look him right in the eye. "What about everyone else?"

* * *

A few months before Faith died Bosco was driving back home on the FDR. He knew this stretch of road well as it was the quickest route between his Ma's place in Bensonhurst and his apartment. He didn't even know how many times he passed the exit for the Queensboro bridge, probably hundreds. Never anything there, just plain pot hole laden New York roadway. Then one day he woke up and turned the news on and three people died right there. The Queensboro exit on the FDR; a semi hit the barrier, rolled over and crushed two other cars. Eight more piled up behind it and the FDNY had a mass casualty on their hands in the blink of an eye. That boring stretch of road that he passed a hundred times turned into the scene of chaos and life altering drama one snowy morning in early December.

Bosco thought about the irony of that as he walked in a daze down the dusty, deserted street. He remembered growing up fascinated by the Towers, especially at night. He remembered the way they looked against the bright blue sky from the Police Academy on Staten Island. He remembered sitting on the roof of Faith and Fred's old place in Brooklyn; getting to know his new partner as she balanced a baby on one knee. He remembered staring at them from the passenger seat as Liz drove him out of Ryker's, glowing yellow in the night sky. And he remembered them the night he went running; trying anything to get away from his demons. He lay there on a bench that night staring up at them silhouetted against darkness and he felt a flicker of hope that his life could be all that it had been every other time he looked at those buildings. Just like almost everyone else in New York those building had been part of the background of his life.

They were always there just like that boring stretch of the FDR where nothing happened until one day when it did. Only this time instead of three people dead and scattered all over the highway in a split second of chaos; hundreds...maybe even thousands of people were dead, the buildings were gone, and without warning a giant hole had been ripped in the background of every New Yorker's life. A place so boring and constant had been shredded in a way beyond even the imagination of Hollywood.

Bosco's legs felt like jelly as he stumbled onto an expanse of gray concrete stairs. Sitting down he let a whoosh of air escape his lungs. He closed his eyes for a moment and he saw it. The most God awful reel of shit anyone could imagine. The plane...the jumpers...broken glass...Jackson...cloud of debris chasing him down the street. Snapping his eyes open he looked there the buildings used to be and saw blue sky. He read somewhere that almost fifty thousand people work in those buildings everyday. That meant hundreds...probably one or maybe even two thousand didn't get out. Trapped on those upper floors like the guy in the orange shirt left with an impossible decision. Normal everyday people who had families waiting for them to come home. Just like Liz was waiting for him. He liked to think that what they had no one else in the whole world could come close to but he knew that wasn't true. There were other Liz and Boscos out there. A few of them were probably even in those buildings today and the deep first hand knowledge that someone lost of the love of their life today made tears come to his eyes.

The enormity of the day caught up with him as he folded his arms over his knees and bent his head forward. A sob escape his throat. It was almost him; minutes...maybe even seconds were all that separated life and death. It would have been him if not for Faith. He would have laid on the floor of that closet until it was too late. And Liz would have been that person who loved someone that was never coming home. He looked down at the sidewalk between his boots. Tears hit the dust like tiny raindrops. Looking up he wiped his face with the back of his hand. He needed to find her and tell her he loved her. Somewhere behind him the familiar sound of church bells broke the eerie silence. It as a church he was sitting outside of; he didn't even realize it. The promise he made to God and himself in Ryker's that night now echoing in his mind. _'Please God if you can help me out of this i promise to be a better person. I promise to take the pieces of my life and put them back together into something meaningful.'_ He had been given a second chance once again; this time on a day when almost no one else had. He need to make the most of it. Pushing himself up he began walking north back toward the 55.

* * *

The 55 was a buzz of activity when Sully and Liz finally got back around five o clock. They found their RMP right where they left it at the corner of Vesey and Broadway. Both beyond exhausted they sighed as they settled into the worn cloth seats. The coffee Sully had sitting in the cup holder cold and untouched, the bottle of water Liz brought rolling around on the floor never opened. The car was like a time capsule frozen in a life that no longer existed. The ride back was in silence save for Atlas panting in the back seat. There was nothing left to say to one another.

Swersky was still at the desk manning the phones where they left him. On the long bench worried families sat crying, praying, holding each other close. Liz quickly averted her gaze. That wasn't going to be her...it couldn't be her, she wouldn't even think that way. One look at Swersky and she didn't even need to ask. They hadn't heard from him. Atlas followed her up the stairs and into the locker room. She washed her face and changed her clothes and then she walked around the station in circles until she couldn't take it anymore. Sully had met up with Ty and the two were sitting outside, the younger man eager to learn where his partner had been all day. Liz came out of the station house as the sun began to dip behind the buildings. She took a deep breath but she could still smell it. Maybe it was her imagination, maybe that smell would forever be in her nostrils; she didn't know but she smelt it- jet fuel, crushed rock, sweat, and a despair so profound it was almost suffocating.

Sully and Ty stop talking as she walked past them. Not looking at either of them she gestured around the rear of the building. "You guys wash your RMPs out back?" She still wasn't too familiar with the house as this was only her second day on the job there. Ty looked at her like she was nuts. Sully just nodded. Running her tongue across the inside of her cheek she wanted to scream. This was insane; pretending everything was ok when it so obviously was not. "Got to wash to the dog. That...that shit's not good for him." Atlas sat at her feet, a gray sheen on his normally dark Belgian tri color coat. Without another word she walked around the building.

Ty looked at Sully not saying a word as the older man shook his head. "It's bad man. It's been almost nine hours since anyone heard a word from Bosco."

Ty exhaled loudly. "Yeah I heard he went up in the Tower." Sully stared off into space.

"Yeah he went up in the Tower with Jackson." The shock on Ty's face apparent. "No one's heard from him either."

Liz sat on the curb holding the hose over Atlas as she watched the dirt run off of him into the sewer. She found some shampoo in the locker room, head and shoulders, a smirk came to her face. Not ideal but better than having him lick toxic dust off his coat all night. She fell into a trance as she rubbed her hands back and forth. Where the fuck was Bosco? Where? It was after five now and no one had seen or heard from him in almost nine hours. No phone calls since that first, and no radio contact since he went up in the tower with Jackson. She picked the hose up as she watched the soap suds run down the street. She wanted to go back down there and keep looking. And she would...if he didn't come back to her tonight or tomorrow night or any day for the rest of her life she would spend everyday down there until every piece of that debris was gone and she found him. She would never leave him there; one way or another he would come home to her. "Oh my God." She said it out loud. She couldn't believe what the fuck she was thinking right now.

The day faded to twilight as she sat down on the sidewalk her back against the building. Atlas curled up next to her on a towel already fast asleep. Allowing her eyes to close she tried not to think of anything. A window must have been open in the back of the building as she heard the faint sound of phones ringing. Her right hand moved back and forth in Atlas's soft fur as a warm breeze caused her hair to blow around her face. Breath in...breath out. Don't think of anything else.

His legs were weak as he walked down the precinct stairs. Sully met him inside the building with a hug and a few tears. They exchanged a few words before the older man patted him on the back and gestured toward the rear of the building. Rounding the corner of the building he stopped. The sight of her was enough to make him weak as he leaned against the concrete for support. In that moment she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. And not because of how she looked. She was beautiful because she loved him...she was beautiful because she trusted him...she was beautiful because she believed in him. But more than anything else she was beautiful because she was his reason to live. She gave him something to come back to, something to protect, something to keep breathing for. Without her he wasn't sure he would be here right now. He lived today because of her.

Liz heard movement in the alley. It was probably just Sully coming to check on her. Not opening her eyes she hoped he would go back inside and leave her alone. Hesitant footsteps came closer as her eyes reluctantly fluttered open. Her breath hitched in her throat. Bosco. He was there right in front of her; dirty, tired, bloody but very much alive. Pushing herself up off the ground tears flowed from her eyes as she took two steps and jumped into his arms. "Oh my God." It was all she could say as she sobbed into his uniform collar. Bosco wrapped his arms around her tightly as he stroked her hair. Leaning his lips against her ear he told her what he should have said hours ago.

"I love you so much." Tears came to his eyes now as his voice wavered. "I loved you from the moment I met you... and you saved me in every way a person can be saved." Pulling back so he could look into her eyes he blinked as he also began to cry. "I'm alive..." He looked away for a moment as she instinctively wiped his cheeks. "I'm alive right now because of you."

Running her hands through the back of his hair she pulled his face inches from hers as she waited for him to finish what she started. Bosco needed no further urging as his lips met hers in the deepest, most passionate kiss he had ever shared with someone. He knew right then and there that whatever happened from this moment forward everything would be alright. As long as they had each other, they had everything.

**TBC...**


	28. Sirens

**"Last Exit to Brooklyn"**

**Author** :carmen_085

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any Third Watch characters. I do own all original characters appearing in this story

**Author's Note:** Aftermath of 9/11 in this chapter. Please be aware if this is upsetting to you. Also do yourself a favor and You Tube Nell Bryden "Sirens"- couldn't find a more perfect song

**Story Note:** Three more chapters and this story will be done. I plan to do my best to finish it as quickly as possible. I am planning a continuation story that I will preview in the last chapter. Thanks to all those still hanging on and reading.

**Chapter 28**

_Last night I dreamt I was floating with you_

_The river so deep and the sky perfect blue_

Darkness had finally fallen on the longest, most horrifying day in American history. Houses all over the country glowed with yellow light as families gathered around their TVs trying to make sense of something that couldn't possibly be understood. Teenagers and young adults never knowing the unrest of the Vietnam era or the horror of an attack like Pearl Harbor felt for the first tim that they weren't safe in America. That someone was coming to get us. That they had to look over their shoulder and worry that at any moment we were going to be invaded by people who didn't look like us, didn't talk like us, and wanted to hurt us. The jarring reality of so many people around the world had now come to the last place on earth anyone thought it would happen.

_If we leave behind the dust in the sky_

_From the sound of Sirens the city will rise_

_Hold your hand in mine, we'll swim against the tide_

_From the sound of sirens love will survive_

Bosco followed Liz into the precinct. If possible the building was even more chaotic than it had been earlier as all three shifts of cops milled around waiting to be told what they should do next. Bosco's eyes wandered to the long bench that sat next to the front desk. A few families sat there crying and waiting. He silently wondered who was missing but quickly dismissed that idea. No one was missing. They were just hung up down there somewhere. Or maybe they were trying to find a ride back like he had after walking for blocks and blocks. They would be back soon.

Swersky was still at the desk manning the phones as he looked more worn and tired than Bosco had ever seen him. As he passed by he gave the older man a nod. Swersky pulled the phone away as he cupped the receiver with his hand. Regarding Bosco silently for a moment he nodded to the younger man.

"Good to have you back safe, Bosco." Before Bosco could reply another phone began to ring and the Lieu's attention was pulled away. The look they shared though said it all. Wordlessly Bosco put one foot in front of the other as he trudged up the stairs and into the locker room. Sitting down in front of his locker he let his eyes slip closed for a moment. He was so tired and he was in so much pain.

_And when your heart is on the run_

_When it's chains have come undone_

_I will always be the one to carry you home_

Liz watched her partner collapse onto the bench. Letting the bag in her hands slip to the floor she leaned her head against the locker as she stared at him. He was still covered in dust as the fresh tears they both shed outside had left trails down his face. Dried blood was caked to his right arm and she didn't miss the tentative way he cradled his ribs. She couldn't stop looking at him. She couldn't believe he was here and that they both managed to survive today.

Bosco knew that she was watching him but he didn't care. She could look at him the rest of their lives and it wouldn't bother him one bit. What he did care about right now was not letting her know how hurt he was. He didn't want to take his shirt off for fear of what was underneath. He knew for a fact that he took one round from Jackson right to the chest. He was sure there was a massive bruise and probably even a few broken ribs under his vest. First time he wore a vest in more than six months and he takes a round. What are the odds? She was still staring at him and he wanted to distract her from his own discomfort. He was sure that she had worried about him enough for one day...maybe even one life.

"What happened with you today? Did they keep you at the house?" Bosco met her gaze as she snapped out of the trance she was in. Shaking her head she let out an wry laugh that suddenly made him feel very uncomfortable. Closing her locker Liz walked over to the bench Bosco was sitting on and straddled it so that she was facing him.

"No. I got down there just as the south tower came down." Bosco suddenly straightened up as fear ran down his spine.

"What?!" Turning he swung his leg over the bench so that they were facing each other. Shaking his head Bosco couldn't believe what he was hearing. "What?! I thought you were here at the house...that...that even if you did make it down there it would have been after everything."

It never occurred to him that she would be down there. There were a million reasons why she wouldn't be there...couldn't be there. She was hurt, she was off work, she was probably still sleeping, there would be too much traffic, Lieu and Sully would make her stay at the house and keep her safe. All those thing he thought...no he assumed. And he was wrong. She had been down there...right fucking there...standing in the shadow of that god damned building when it came down. How could he be so selfish to not worry about her? What was wrong with him?

She stared at him and shrugged her shoulders ever so slightly. "I went down there to find you." Bosco bowed his head into his hands as he closed his eyes. She went down there to find him. He was her partner and she knew that he was in danger. So she went down there into hell itself simply to find him and bring him home. Because they were partners but more than that because that was what you did when you loved someone. As much as he thought he knew about love he still had a lot to learn. He should have known better. Liz reached out and touched his arm making him look at her. "If you hadn't come home I would have gone down there everyday until I found you." Bosco blinked his eyes as he looked away. No one ever made him feel the way she did.

Looking at her seriously he tried to control the emotion in his voice. "If I had come back and you weren't here I would have gone back down there and died right along with you."

Liz scooted closer as she wrapped her arms around him. She wanted to stay like this for the rest of her life. Bosco reached up as he unconsciously ran his hand up and down her back. Even hurting like hell, flithy dirty, hungry, and tired he couldn't think of another place he would rather be. Atlas was laying on the floor at their feet fast asleep. The locker room was deserted except for them and they couldn't help but be thankful for a few moments of privacy.

"You called me, Bosco. Don't you remember that?" She pulled back and searched his face for any memory. Bosco remembered alright; how could he forget ? The first and only time his phone connected to anything all day. Standing there on the street in the shadow of complete fucking pandemonium he had only one thing on his mind. Telling Liz what he should have said before he left her that morning. _'I love you. I'll always love you. If I don't make it out of this never forget that.'_ But he never got the chance and for that he was almost glad because it gave him a reason to overcome an almost insurmountable task and survive. Get back to her; hold her, kiss her, tell her what he should have said a million times over by now.

"I called you but then..." He trailed off. Maybe she didn't see any of the people jumping while she was down there. Maybe she had no idea that was even happening. Quite possibly the most God awful moment of the whole day was seeing that and if she was lucky enough to be spared that then why should he ruin it for her? "I called you but then people were running around and everything got really crazy." He paused wondering if she believed him. "When I brought the phone back up the line was dead...I called you at least ten more times but nothing ever connected."

Liz's facial features softened. She couldn't imagine what he had went through inside that building and how much there undoubtedly was to do but still he wanted nothing more than to talk to her. "Yeah I heard screaming and your voice but you didn't even sound like you." He wondered what he sounded like after just witnessing a man jump to his death from a thousand feet in the air. "I tried calling you after that but nothing ever went through."

Bosco nodded as he leaned forward placing his elbows on his knees. Staring at her he wanted to stop talking about what he saw. He wasn't ready to talk about that right now. And he really wasn't ready to make her see the horrors replaying in his own mind. "So what happened? How did you end up down there?"

Liz looked at him before looking down at her hands. "I ran from your place to the house and when I got here Swersky told me you had gone down there. I thought maybe you wouldn't... maybe you would be at the house waiting but in my heart I think I knew all along." Their eyes met as Bosco offered a sheepish look. He could never be one to hang back and let someone else take his place. "I knew you would be down there. What I wasn't counting on was who you were with."

Jackson. Bosco had actually forgotten about him for a few hours. If it wasn't at the cost of such terror he might actually be thankful for such a diversion as that man had occupied almost every waking thought he had for the last few months. "Have you seen him?" It suddenly occurred to Bosco that Jackson might be dead. And honestly he couldn't be more fucking angry. No way that prick died down there. They would bury him a hero, his name would be on a memorial; a selfless martyr who died saving innocent lives when actually nothing could be farther from the truth.

"No. No one has seen him." Liz didn't want to be the one to tell Bosco that he may never get justice for Faith now, but he was going to find out sooner or later. "You know, Bosco, no one had seen him...no one had seen you. I was so...so sure that you weren't coming home." Closing her eyes she shook her head. "But I never lost my sense of you. You know you make me feel full and alive and like this great big gust of wind is always blowing at my back keeping me going...that's you inside of me. And I never lost that feeling so even though I was afraid I knew in my heart that you were still alive somewhere."

Bosco looked at her with tears in his eyes. No one had ever said anything that nice to him before. Reaching his arm up he felt an awful pulling sensation in his ribs as he gently touched her face. Her eyes met his for a moment as she smiled ever so slightly. "Oh my God I love you." Reaching up she interlaced her fingers in his.

"I love you too." Liz leaned her head forward so that their foreheads were touching as she let a breath out that she didn't know she was holding. "I would still be down there looking for you if not for Sully. I owe him, Bosco, he saved me about six different times today." She laughed a little. "He's a better person than I am. He followed me right into the gates of hell trying to find you." She leaned back shaking her head in disbelief. "I can't believe it...five more minutes that's the only reason I'm here right now. I was five minutes to slow." Bosco felt a wave of nausea come over him just thinking that she was so close to everything and for what? For him...that fact only made him sicker. "I was right there, Bosco. I was standing on the plaza when the second tower came down. If I had been just a little faster, if Sully hadn't been trying to get me to stop, if I wasn't wasting time watching the dog, if I had gone down Trinity instead of Broadway. I would have been there, walking inside that building just as it came down. Five minutes... that's it."

Bosco shook his head, he didn't want to hear this anymore. Sure he had come just as closer if not closer today but this wasn't him. It was her and just the idea of her in danger made him sick. Mickey and Barksdale and the rest of the Brooklyn douches were bad enough but this...this he couldn't control, he couldn't stop, he was just as helpless as the next guy. Reaching out he placed his hand on her arm. "Enough, OK? If we think about all the what ifs we're going to make ourselves crazy. We're both here and that's all that matters." She was quiet as Bosco sat back. He wanted to get changed and get the hell out of there for a few hours. He thought maybe that was selfish of him to want to go home when so many other cops were standing around waiting to go back down. But right now he didn't care. Everything he had he left down there today. Actually everything he had and everything he didn't have was down there. In his whole life he never fought so hard to survive.

Liz watched Bosco as he brought his hand up to undo the buttons on his shirt. Watching his face she saw him wince and momentarily give up letting a long sigh out as he rolled his neck side to side. Sharp pain radiated through his right side causing his breath to hitch for a moment. Trying to move as little as possible he fingered the buttons on his shirt. Liz let out a long breath as she watched Bosco struggle. Fear crept into her heart as she wondered if he was more hurt than he was letting on.

"Here, let me." Reaching up she carefully unbuttoned his shirt as gray dust fell to the floor like fine snow flakes. Normally Bosco would have protested this, he wasn't helpless after all but right now with her he didn't care. He closed his eyes afraid that they would betray the amount of pain he was in right now. Carefully her fingers undid the buttons sliding down the worn cotton silently. As his shirt opened up her eye caught something unusual. A piece of metal lodged in his vest. Sliding her hand over it she didn't know what it was initially. Normally it would be pretty obvious but not today. Remembering the flood of debris chasing her and Sully through Lower Manhattan she wondered if part of the building had actually become lodged in Bosco's vest. It was hard to imagine something so violent and forceful that you could be impaled on the sidewalk almost a block away.

Bosco didn't care that she was undressing him like an invalid. In fact it felt good to sit there and do nothing after he had been doing for the last 12 hours straight. Gingerly his shirt slid down his arms and onto the bench. Without asking she unstrapped his vest and flipped it over his head. Sucking a sharp breath in she stopped and he knew it must be worse than he thought. Opening his eyes he looked down at his white t-shirt stained with a large bloom of dried blood. Maybe it was worse than he thought.

"Bosco?!" She pulled his shirt up to reveal an irregular shaped cut that was still oozing blood and a gigantic bruise that seemed to be spending across his entire chest. "What the..." Before she could finish he let out a long sigh.

"Jackson shot me." She looked at him in disbelief. Jackson shot me? While she had more than a few questions the one thing she could not comprehend is where he found the time to do that.

"What? I don't..." She stared at him clearly confused. Shaking her head she squinted at him trying to make sense of it all. "When the fuck did he find the time for that?" Why would have been the more obvious question but she was pretty sure she already had the answer for that.

Bosco laughed a little; he never had to wonder what she was thinking. He wanted to tell her everything...everything and then some but right now he was so tired. "Liz can we talk about all this later?" She pulled back visibly stung. She knew he had to be exhausted and hurting beyond belief and she didn't expect him to lay it all out there right now but still being shut out like that hurt. Bosco pushed himself off the bench as he slowly walked over to the shower. "I just want to get this shit off of me and go home."

Jumping up a little too quick her own leg screamed in pain. "Uh uh. No way. You're going to the hospital and that's it." Bosch sighed he knew this was going to happen. He didn't care about himself, he was alive and he was with her so to him nothing was wrong. She could see him mounting a protest. "Don't bullshit me, Bosco. You're going and that's it."

Raising his hands he pretended to surrender. "OK...OK. I'll go. Just give me a minute." Stripping his shirt off he walked toward the showers. As much as she wanted to stay and watch this part she knew it wasn't the time or the place.

"I'll be in roll call waiting for you." Atlas got up and followed her out the door. It was quiet in the locker room now as Bosco turned one of the showers on. Stripping down he stepped behind the curtain as he let his eyes shut. The warm water stung as a brown puddle formed around the drain. Breathing in deeply he stopped holding his breath as he saw orange and khaki tumbling end over end over end through the darkness toward him. Snapping his eyes open he gasped for air as he steadied himself on the faucets. Looking around he wondered if anyone could have heard his audible moment of weakness. On the day when he was the happiest he had ever been in his entire life this happened. Just when he found a way to pack away all his emotional baggage now there was this. He wasn't complaining, far from it. He was still the luckiest man alive. He was alive, she was alive, and they loved each other more than anything. It was more than most people had right now and for that he was eternally grateful. All he wanted was one day...one day to drown in the pure euphoria of love. He got a couple hours and now instead of seeing her smiling face when he closed his eyes he saw a man falling to his death.

* * *

Sully opened the door to his apartment and sighed loudly. It was almost nine o clock and honestly he felt like he hadn't been home in days. Thinking about this morning when he left his apartment it felt like a different day...a different life. Pushing the door open wider he turned around to his house guest who was patiently sitting behind him in the hallway. Atlas looked up at Sully and yawned loudly and dramatically.

"Well go ahead." The tired german shepherd lumbered slowly into Sully's apartment taking stock of his surroundings. When Liz explained the situation with Bosco he was happy to help. He didn't know anything about taking care of a Police K9 and their first try wasn't exactly a success. Tonight was different though. The dog took a leap and stretched out on Sully's bed. Snorting he shook his head, "Make yourself comfortable."

He wondered if Liz had fed him anything at the house and he figured that Atlas must be starving by this point. He had no dog food, of course, as he stared into the refrigerator pulling part of a left over cheeseburger out. Peeling the topping off the bun he held it out to the dog who showed the first signs of life Sully had seen out of him in the last few hours. Jumping off the bed Atlas pranced over and sat at attention in front of Sully. Holding the burger out, the dog wasted no time making it disappear in two bites. Sully laughed a little as he wiped his hands on the front of his pants. Seeing the food was gone Atlas jumped back on the bed and stretched out sighing contently.

"That's ok, I wasn't hungry." Sully sat on the edge of the bed running his fingers through the coarse fur. He couldn't eat even if he wanted to right now. He was too tired to feel much of anything. Laying back he ran his hand back and forth as he listened to the dog snoring. He didn't know anything about police dogs but he knew that Atlas was probably the easiest one he had ever met. The dog would listen to almost anyone, not just his handler. What really blew him away, though, was that the whole day he was never on a leash. And he never strayed from her once. Not even as they were running down the street with debris chasing them did the dog think of anything but her. And it happened twice...twice he ran side by side with them. Sully was sure he could have ducked under a car or into a crevice somewhere, his primal need to survive undoubtedly on overdrive, but he didn't. He would have followed her into the building too and almost certain death.

Letting his eye drift close for a moment Sully saw the top of the north tower collapse inward as that gigantic antenna began to sink downward. _Bam ba Bam...Bam ba Bam...Bam ba Bam._ His eyes snapped open. Taking a sharp breath in, his ears were still ringing with the sick sound of a building falling to pieces. Every fiber of his being told him to get the hell away from those buildings. He should have turned around got back in the RMP and gone back to the 55. No one would have faulted him for that especially after the first collapse. But he didn't...he couldn't and for once he didn't listen to his gut. He literally forced one foot in front of the other and kept moving toward something that stirred a fear so deep inside of him he could barely think straight. He could never take credit for Liz being alive right now. She was resourceful and smart beyond almost anyone else he ever worked with. But he couldn't help but to wonder if they had gone their separate ways after the first collapse if she would be here now. Did he slow her down? Would she have even stopped for those firemen or just blown right past? All those times he told her they should turn back and they stopped and argued about it; was that enough? Did all those seconds they wasted add up to minutes...minutes that saved their lives? He didn't know; how could he? What he was sure of, however, was that for once he was glad that he threw caution to the wind and did the right thing even if it didn't seem right at the time. He would have never been able to live with himself if she didn't come home today. And he knew for a fact that he would never have been able to face Bosco ever again. So many little decisions somehow added up to one big moment; the moment where they all survived something many others did not.

* * *

_Streets lie so empty, the lost avenues_

_The lights of St. Vincent are too much to lose_

_If we leave behind the dust in the sky_

_From the sound of sirens the city will rise_

The emergency department at Angel of Mercy was eerily quiet. She had been waiting in the roll call room for him to finish showering and when he finally appeared the looked on his face said it all. He wanted no part of this but she wouldn't hear of it and against his will she put him in an RMP and drove him to the closest hospital. Shaking her head she couldn't believe it; even if he didn't care about getting shot, which under normal circumstances was a big deal, he was still bleeding and obviously needed stitches.

' _I'm not telling them I got shot. I'm not telling anyone that but you.'_ She closed her eyes remembering the look on his face. Keeping one eye on the road she stole a glance at him as he stared out the side window. When they left the house Jackson was still listed as missing along with three other officers. _'I don't think he's dead. I think he's out there some where. I just don't want to answer any questions...not yet anyway.'_

No one at the hospital asked many questions. They were beyond thrilled to have someone to take care of. All day long they had waited outside with empty stretchers for patients that never came. Bosco told them a piece of debris hit him when he was running away from the collapse. No one ever suspected anything else and after a few quick stitches he was off for an X-ray to his chest. Liz hadn't eaten anything all day as she pushed herself up out of the chair and headed toward the waiting room. Her lungs burned and ached from whatever she inhaled today but she would never tell Bosco that. He had enough to worry about right now and besides it seemed pretty normal all things considered. Finding a few vending machines she stared at her options as off to the left the white lights of the waiting room glowed from behind glass. While the actual treatment area of the emergency department was quiet the waiting room was a scene of chaos. Filled not with patients but with frantic family members searching for missing loved ones. Walking toward the glass she stopped and stared. Both TVs flickered between images of the burning towers and live reporting from the massive darkened debris field. A line of people at least twenty long stood at the front desk; most holding pictures, some crying, all of them looking exhausted and worried beyond belief. Some kids ran around the waiting room not sure why they were there but clearly feeling the apprehension that hung heavy in the air.

That could have been her right now going around to the hospitals with a picture of her partner. Begging anyone to tell her something. Worse yet in a few years that could have been her looking for her husband, kids in tow, trying to think of a way to tell them that their daddy was never coming home. Liz didn't want to think about it as she walked down the hallway and outside; she wasn't hungry anymore. Bursting through the door she was met with the cool night air. Taking a deep breath she heard sirens in the distance as she leaned against the building completely oblivious to her surrounding.

"Excuse me, officer, can you look at this picture?" Her eyes snapped open as an older Puerto Rican woman stood in front of her holding a flyer. How the hell did she know..? Before Liz could complete that thought she realized that she was still wearing her uniform pants and an NYPD t-shirt. The woman thrust a picture of a young man into her face. He was wearing construction equipment and a big smile. Hand written scrawl around the picture identified him as Joshua Hernandez, 28 years old from the Bronx. Last seen trying to free people trapped in an elevator on the 97th floor of the South Tower. Liz took the flyer from the woman and stared at the kid's face. A real hero... someone who stayed behind to help when everyone else was getting the hell out of dodge. Tears came to her eyes as she shook her head sadly handing the flyer back to the woman.

"No. I'm sorry I haven't seen him." The old lady nodded her head as her gaze shifted to the ground. Liz wanted desperately to give the woman hope but she couldn't knowing full and well that Joshua was probably dead.

"He's a good boy, you know. He stayed in school, learned how to work on elevators." Her voice faltered as she bit her lower lip trying to contain a flood of emotions. "I'm sure he's fine." Liz nodded her head and smiled; she didn't know what to say. "If you see him tell him to call his grandma."

"Ok." The woman moved on showing her flyer to some other cops standing in the ambulance bay. Liz turned, near the entrance to the emergency department was a wall that had now been covered by fliers similar to Joshua's.

Her eyes scanned the wall; faces and names everywhere but she recognized none of them. All missing...left this morning but never came home.

_Donald Johnson, 54 from Hackensack works for AON, 99th floor South Tower._

_Judy Casado, 41, from Staten Island works for Marsh and McLennan, 100th floor North Tower._

_Maribel Guzman, 60, from Brooklyn chef at Windows on the World, last seen 106th floor North Tower._

She tore her eyes away just as a young man approached her. He looked about her age with dark hair and a goatee. A little blonde girl in his arms her cheeks red and swollen from crying. "Excuse me? Officer." She regretted not changing he clothes before leaving the house not because she didn't want to help these people but because she couldn't. She didn't have any answers and frankly the only person she had been looking for down there was Bosco. He held up a flyer of a pretty blonde haired woman with striking blue eyes. She was at the beach in the photo the wind blowing her hair holding the little girl as they both smiled. "Have you seen her?"

_Erin Foley, 32 from Queens, works for Cantor Fitzgerald, last seen 104th floor North Tower. Beloved Wife and Mother. Please call husband Jeff._

Liz looked up from the flyer into the little girl's eyes as her own clouded with tears. What kind of shit world was this? Shaking her head she looked away not able to see the disappointment. "No...No I haven't seen her."

The man took the flyer back and stared at his wife's face as if he was looking for an answer that he could never find. "I'm sorry to bother you. I'm sure you need to look for your own people." The statement caught Liz off guard. All day long she had been worried about Bosco but she had friends throughout the department and she was sure many of them had gone down there. The young husband let out a deep breath as he shook his head staring off in the distance. "I...I don't know what I'll do if she doesn't come home." The little girl sniffled and buried her head in the man's shoulder. Liz sucked in a sharp breath as she turned away.

"I'll look for her." Not waiting for a reply she began to walk away quickly. She couldn't look at them anymore. A blur of faces and names blended together as she stalked away from the lights of the ER toward the street. Liz felt suffocated not only by grief but also by guilt. Her person had come home today, she had gotten lucky. Why her though ? Why not Erin Foley who had a husband and a little girl waiting? Why did she get lucky when other people deserved it more. She was happy and thankful beyond belief but why did she deserve that more than anyone else. What made her special that she was spared standing line holding a picture of Bosco searching all over the city for him?

When she was two blocks away and alone she felt like she could finally breath. Stopping she stood on the sidewalk as she covered her face with her hands. Breathing in and out she wanted to cry but she couldn't. So much had happened today and she had been at every extreme from anxiety to fear, happiness and guilt, desperation and exhaustion. She wanted to cry for Joshua Hernandez and Donald Johnson, Maribel Guzman and of course Erin Foley. Normal fucking human beings that went to work and will most likely never come home. But she was numb and right now she couldn't feel anything except how the whole situation was complete bullshit. Slamming her hand into the brick of the building she kept walking.

Bosco lay in bed staring at the ceiling tiles. He has been wheeled back form chest x ray about fifteen minutes ago and she was gone. He felt the same nagging doubt that he had earlier that morning. What if she was gone for good? Got tired of him and simply took off. It was ridiculous beyond ridiculous especially after he learned she had dove head first into hell itself this morning just to find him. How he could have a single doubt about her was beyond him. But still he did...not because of her or anything she did but because he didn't know how to be loved. He was pretty sure he could navigate how to love someone, that was easy, but accepting that love in return was something different. He wasn't used to someone waiting for him, someone worrying about him, someone that wanted nothing but him. Thinking about it he wasn't really sure if anyone ever loved him that didn't have to. His Ma loved him, he knew that, but she had to she was his Ma. Liz was the first person who loved him that didn't have to.

The door opened and she walked in sliding down into the chair near the door. She avoided looking at him and he wondered if something had happened. "Hey...You ok?" She forced a smile.

"Yeah I'm fine." Getting up she walked over to the stretcher and took his hand in her own. "Are you ok?"

Bosco let out a breath as he slowly nodded his head. "Yeah..doctor says I got a couple bruised ribs...some stitches." Liz leaned over and coughed forcefully her lungs aching and burning. Letting go of Bosco's hand she turned away. Wiping her lips with the back of her hand she saw a gray smudge. Quickly she ran her hand over her pant leg not wanting him to see that and worry. He had enough problems right now and had inhaled just as much of that shit if not more than she had. "Hey..." Bosco pushed himself up so that he was sitting upright in bed. His own chest ached where Jackson's round had nearly penetrated his vest. "Maybe you need to get checked too."

She shook her head forcefully. "I'm fine. Besides what are they going to do? We all inhaled the same shit." She had a point there but still it didn't stop Bosco from worrying about her.

"Are you sure, you're ok? Did something happen." Liz stood up straight. She thought about Joshua's grandma and Erin's daughter, and the hundreds of other faces on the wall outside. She didn't want to unload all that on him right now but she also didn't want to keep it all to herself.

"There's...um...there's a lot of people outside. Looking for missing family." She trailed off she didn't want to get too into detail and Bosco thankfully didn't need her to. He could imagine desperate people combing the city's ERs hoping against hope that their loved one was maybe unconscious or had hit their head and didn't remember who they were. Even in the face of such terrible odds it was inhuman to not have at least a little hope.

"Oh. I see." That was it. She wanted him to ask but she didn't. She didn't want to stand there and describe the reddened and puffy cheeks on Erin's daughter or the fear in her husband's eyes. But she wanted him to ask her how she felt and he didn't. What if their relationship, still so fragile and new, was irrepairabley damaged but circumstances beyond their control. Both of them shouldering a burden of images so terrible they could never be shared or unseen.

* * *

The streets were dark now as he walked north. He had walked around down there for hours thinking of what to do next. However tragic the whole thing may be it gave him a golden opportunity to disappear and start his life over far from New York. No one would ever know who he was or the things that he's done. He could walk away free of it all.

After the collapse he walked around down there for a while; he didn't find anyone who needed help and that was fine with him because be didn't care about anyone but himself. He needed time to think of what to do next. But as he wandered around that massive pile of debris he came to a realization. Two- one hundred and ten story office buildings collapse; you might expect to find telephones and computes, desks and filing cabinets everywhere. But that wasn't the case at all. The buildings had collapsed to dust. Without any piece of the building left how did they expect to find people.

And then he had an idea. He could walk away from here and take off. Leave New York for good and they would never know the difference. A smirk came to his face, they would assumed he died a hero and his name would be on a memorial one day. One of the NYPD's bravest killed helping innocent victims in a senseless tragedy. Which was ironic because the only person he helped today was Bosco...helped to make sure that he was never coming home again.

Jackson smiled as he kept walking. His white t-shirt covered in dirt and blood stains sure to attract some attention but not as much as his NYPD uniform shirt which he left in dumpster along the way. Things always worked out for him somehow. Bosco was dead; he was sure of that. First he was sure he put a bullet through his head when he shot him in that closet, second even if he did manage to live through that no way he got out of that building in time. Jackson himself barely made it out before he heard the floors begin to pop out high above his head.

With Bosco dead and the two of them last seen together, who would assume anything but the worst for him also. Heroes...brothers in arms dying on the front lines of the first battle in the war on terror. He snorted; even on the darkest of days a psychopath like him found some way to be amusing. His face darkened as he continued stalking into the night. He only had one problem with this. If he left New York...left the NYPD where the fuck would he get his money? No way he could move to Timbuktu and live on forty thou a year. He had an addiction to money and gambling...to power and taking anything he wanted. And that way of life could not be maintained if he intended to live under the radar. Still it was tempting...Bosco was out of the way, Geidel was dead, Faith long gone. Nobody that was there that day was still alive except for him, of course. And as far as he knew all the truth died with those three people.

* * *

_If we leave behind the tears in our eyes_

_From the sound of sirens the city will rise_

_Hold your hand in mine, we'll swim against the tide_

_From the sound of sirens love will survive_

When Bosco and Liz got back to the house it was after midnight. Parking the RMP outside they didn't bother to go in as they simply walked to Bosco's mustang. Stiffly he slide behind the wheel as they both sat there in silence for a moment. Liz wondering if it might be better to have him take her home. They both probably needed some time apart to process what had happened today but honestly she didn't want that. She wanted to be as close as possible to him but she wasn't sure that's what he wanted or needed right now. Since he came back from down there he had been both loving and closed off. She understood but it hurt to think that he was keeping things from her. Bosco sat there and wondered how he could find the words to tell her about the things he saw today. How could he describe the sheer terror he felt over and over again? That he was about to die not one or twice but several times. Sighing he turned the key and the mustang roared to life. It felt strange to be back in his car now. The last time he had been here nothing was wrong...not one single thing. Now nothing was right.

Liz watched the streets blur together as Bosco drove. They stopped at a red light and she stole a glance at him over the console. He looked like he had the night she picked him up at Riker's; exhausted, desperate, hopeless. Closing her eyes she wanted to go to sleep but she was afraid of what she might see when she did. They pulled up in front of Bosco's place and for a moment she was going to tell him she'd go get on the train and go home. Give him some space, maybe, and things would be different in the morning. Standing in the dark he looked at her before coming around the front of the car and taking her hand in his leading her up the stairs. She wanted him so much right now it was enough to make her crazy.

The door swung open and Bosco exhaled. He was finally home...no they were finally home. The feeling of her hand in his made his fingers tingle as he reminded himself of how lucky he was right now. Pulling her into him he wrapped his arms around her as their lips met. The kiss was a surprise at first but as she relaxed against him he felt it deepen. Her fingers ran through his hair and it made a chill run down his spine. He could feel every inch of her against him as he pulled her closer. A part of him wondered if this was right. He loved her, no doubt about that, but they had just survived a terrible, terrible thing. So emotions were high and neither one of them were thinking straight. On top of that she had just been tied up and nearly assaulted a few days ago in Brooklyn. An image of her naked and laying on that bed flashed through Bosco's mind as he forced himself to slow down. Pulling away from her he looked into her eyes.

"Are you sure about this? I mean after everything today and what happened in Brooklyn..." He trailed off. He would never hurt her or make her do anything she didn't want to do.

"I've never been more sure of anything. I don't want anything else but to be with you." Bosco needed to hear nothing else as he pulled her t-shirt up over her head. He kissed her on the neck and he felt her undoing the belt on his pants. Feeling her hands he sucked a sharp breath in, he hadn't been with someone in a long time. Truth was he had never been with anyone like this. He never loved any of them; he didn't even know what love was then.

Moving toward the bed they left a trail of clothing behind. Bosco's chest ached but right now he didn't care as he laid her down. Looping her arms across his back she pulled him close to her so that there was no space between them. Right or wrong they were both desperate to feel alive right now. Life is short, no one knows that better than a cop, but even for them today was an overwhelming reminder that nothing is guaranteed. Did all of those husbands kiss their wives good bye? Did all of those wives make sure they didn't go to bed angry the night before? Did those kids call their parents lately, tell them that they loved them? Probably not, so many lives simply cut away right in the middle of living. And not just cut away, crushed, ripped apart, incinerated with not a piece left behind. Like they never existed at all. Went into that building and simply disappeared into a cloud of dust.

Bosco buried his face in her hair as he inhaled deeply; the two of them finally coming together as he felt her hold him so tight. He was trembling in her arms as he felt completely overcome. Wrapping herself around him even tighter she felt her heart pounding in her chest. Some how that moment confirmed to both of them that they were alive and they were together. On a day like today just seeing each other wasn't enough. Without knowing it they were both desperate for a visceral connection. Feeling each other on every level confirmed to both of them that they had, in fact, survived something impossible and that they were alive. And not just alive but alive in a world elevated above what they had known before. A world wrapped in a love for each other so intense and powerful that nothing...nothing could come between them.

Bosco lay there staring at the ceiling. He had his arm around her and he could feel that she was starting to drift off to sleep. What they had just shared was nothing short of a miracle in his eyes. It was more than he could have ever hoped for. She had given everything to him and he couldn't keep anything from. He wanted her to know what happened to him today, what he saw, and how he felt; he just wasn't sure how to start talking. Smirking to himself he realized he had the same problem this morning.

Opening his mouth he just let go of it all. "I got an message from central to returned to the house about an hour or so into the shift. I was actually on my way back here when they called." She pulled away from him so that she could look into his eyes as he talked. Propping her head up on her left hand she took his hand with the other.

"Did you forget something?" Bosco looked away as a wry smile came to his lips.

"Yeah I forgot to tell you how much I loved you." She laughed a little as she stared into his face.

"I knew you loved me. I could see it on your face before you left. I also knew you were scared." If anyone else said that to him he would have been quick to correct them. He never admitted to anyone he was scared. But with her he didn't care. It was true.

"Yeah I was. I just didn't want to mess anything up. Seems pretty stupid now." She shook her head not saying anything as she traced circles on the back of his hand. "Anyway I get back to the house and the boss lays Jackson on me. At first I was annoyed, then I guess I was a little scared. I mean its not most days your getting backed up by the person who killed your partner."

"I know and he's a dick to work with too." She recalled from their eight hour shift where he ended up getting himself shot at the end of it.

"Yeah...well we're only in the car together ten minutes and the city wide went off for a possible plane into the Trade Center. He starts bitching and moaning; he don't want to go direct traffic all day. So then the second city wide goes off directing all available units down there. I honestly didn't think twice about it." She knew he wouldn't hesitate...if someone needed help Bosco would be there. "We get on the West Side Highway and he's really bitching now. So I didn't care I asked him if he had something better to do...like maybe find someone else to murder." She laughed out loud.

"No you didn't." He nodded a slight smile came to his face.

"I sure as hell did. He wasn't even surprised. He knew that I had figured it out; he just doesn't care. He also knows I have no way to prove any of it." Bosco was quiet for a moment. "We got down there...we were stuck on traffic on the highway trying to get off down there when the second plane hit. Liz...I fucking saw it clear the Verrazano. It was headed right for us...and there was no where I could go...nothing I could do. It was huge and it was silver and I could see windows and United written across the side." Bosco closed his eyes. "I was right there...right underneath of it and I saw it disappear into the building. I felt the throttle of the engines deep inside my chest." He opened his eyes "I knew right then and there that it was terrorism. That plane never slowed down, never deviated. I was so scared...so so scared. Suddenly it was like anything was possible. What was going to happen next? Was the highway going to explode and collapse? Were we being invaded? I had no idea." If he was quiet Bosco could still hear everything. The rumble of that plane, the screaming, the sirens, breaking glass, and worst of all the sound of bodies hitting the pavement.

"I wish I had been there with you." She inched closer to him as she laid her head on his chest. Reflexively he stroked her hair.

"I wanted you there but I'm glad you weren't." He ran his fingers up and down her bare shoulder as he kept talking. "We got off the highway and parked and I really thought Jackson was going to bolt but he didn't and honestly it was scarier having him with me than being alone. It was so crazy down there...I can't even describe it. Just pandemonium I guess." He stopped licking his lips. He couldn't tell her about that guy. He saw him falling over and over in his mind and heard that sound, that primal scream every time he closed his eyes. How do you put something like that into words? Not now...not that; he just couldn't.

"Eventually we made it into the building. It was mostly firemen but I managed to find the Port Authority Lieu and he sent us up to sweep the floors and make sure no one was left behind. Liz, I wanted to talk to you so bad to tell you where I was, what was happening, and that I was alright. And...I wanted to tell you I loved you just in case." She knew what in case meant and thank God it never happened.

"Were you scared? Going up into a building that everyone else was running out of?"

"Shitless. I was scared shitless. I called you ten times at least. It never went through but I kept trying." It made her feel good that it was her and nobody else he wanted. "We got to the twentieth floor. That's the highest I got. I went my way, he went his and when I came back around he was swiping a bill fold off someone's desk." She pushed up to look at his face.

"Are you kidding?" Bosco shook his head.

"No...No I'm not. I lost it and we started fighting. I told him that I knew he killed Faith and I just wanted him to tell my why. I was really beating the shit out of him and honestly it felt great. Probably not the best place but I knew our business would come to head sooner or later. So I'm beating his ass and I was ready to kill him right there. I was going to choke him but the floor started to shake and then the whole building was bouncing up and down. I thought that was it so I made a break for the stairwell." So much they didn't know while it was happening. "I was there crouching in the stairwell and I thought that was it. That the building was coming down and I was going to die. I wasn't scared, though, I was just sad. So so sad. My life had finally become worth living and now it was going to slip right through my fingers. I would never see you again...never tell you how much I loved you." Liz felt tears come to her eyes. Bosco stopped talking for a moment as he steadied himself not wanting to lose it before he could finish this. "The building stopped shaking and I was still alive. So I got up and I should have left but I didn't. I went back onto the floor and everything was covered in gray snow. The windows were broken out. I was stunned. I walked over to the window expecting to see the other tower still burning but it was gone. I saw daylight where a building used to be. I stared and stared and I couldn't figure it out. And that's when Jackson got the upper hand." Subconsciously Bosco pulled her closer to him as he kept going. "He hit me over the head, he slammed be against the wall between two broken windows. There was nothing there...just open air. Two hundred feet to the bottom and all that was keeping me inside was a piece of broken glass. I took my gun out... I got a shot off but he was too big and strong and he smashed my arm against the glass and I dropped my gun. It's still down there somewhere."

"How did you get away from him?"

"I didn't. He had me and there was nothing I could do about it. I was jacked there against the wall and the broken glass and I'm just waiting for him to push me and I would fall just like all those other people had." She stiffened remembering the guy on the news launching himself out into thin air. "And he starts telling me how and why he killed Faith." She sat straight up suddenly.

"Really?!"

"He told me he killed her because she saw him and Geidel kill a dealer. He made a bogus call and when we drove by he pushed us out into the intersection and in front of the truck. He killed her so she wouldn't go to IAB with it." Liz stared at the wall. So it was all true; everything they thought was true. But still they had no proof and Jackson could be dead anyway. "He told me he wanted to throw me out the window but he'd rather I suffer so he drug me over to a closet pushed me in and slammed the door. I heard him rack the slide and before I could hit the floor he fired half a magazine through the door. I felt...I felt a round hit my vest and I fell backwards and hit my head off the floor. Everything went black after that."

She had no idea how close he had come to not making it back. Bosco felt a wave of emotion come over him as he blinked back a few tears. Liz felt him stiffen and his breathing become ragged as she sat up. Gently placing her hand under his chin she forced him to look at her. "What is it?"

"I need to tell you something but I don't want you to think I'm crazy." She looked at him solemnly.

"I would love you even if you were crazy." Bosco blinked his eyes as a wave of emotion came over him. For so long he had felt so much pressure to be everything but himself. Be strong, Bosco, don't cry. Be tough, Bosco, don't show them that you care. Be stoic, Bosco, don't let anyone know how much it bothers you. And now someone just wanted him to be himself and he was so so relieved that he could finally relax.

He reached out rubbing her still bruised cheek with his thumb. "Thanks." It came out as a whisper but he knew that she heard it. Closing his eyes Bosco wondered how he could phrase this without sounding completely insane. "The night we went to Far Rockaway I told you everything about me...everything except one thing." He studied her face and she didn't look mad or hurt just concerned. "When I was in Riker's the night you picked me up they had me locked in solitary confinement. I...I really thought I was going to go nuts. I never told you but I have a fear of dark spaces. Probably from all those times my old man locked me in a closet." She held onto his hand offering him a small smile so that he would go on. "I was laying on the floor... I was crying and I just wanted to die. And then Faith was there with me. I know it sounds nuts but she was there. She really, really was. I felt her next to me and I heard her talking to me." He looked at her face to see if she had changed her mind about him being nuts. What he found was a warm, accepting smile. "She told me that I needed to hang on for just a little while longer and that someone was going to change my life." His voice wavered with emotion. Pulling his face into hers she kissed him on on the forehead as she looked at him seriously.

"We changed each other's lives." Blinking a tear ran down his cheek as he managed a small smile under all the emotion.

"Yeah...Well she was there again, Liz. After Jackson shot me I was laying in that dark closet slipping into unconsciousness and I heard her voice. She was there yelling at me to get up. I felt her pull me up to my feet. I mean I don't even know how I was walking at that point. She lifted me up and I walked out of the closet and it was so bright and a breeze was blowing through the broken windows. It was quiet except for the noise coming in from outside. And I saw her...she was there and she looked just like that last time I had worked with her. Everything about her frozen in time. She held my hand and she told me I needed to get out of the building as quick as possible. I knew it was dangerous...I knew it wasn't a good place to be. But...the way she said that. It stirred a fear and an urgency inside me that I had never felt before."

Liz wiped tears from her own eyes as she listened to Bosco talk. She had seen her share of horror down there but nothing compared to this.

"I turned toward the stairs and when I turned back she was gone. But in my hand was this." Leaning over to the night stand he produced an NYPD pin. "She always used to wear it. I couldn't find it anywhere after she died. When I let go of her hand it was there." Liz sat up as she took the NYPD pin from him staring at it. She didn't know what to say. "I took off down the stairs. I really wasn't even sure my feet were touching anything, I ran. All I could think about was you and getting back to you."

She laid back down next to him wrapping her arms around him. "Liz... I can't lie. Faith saved me more times than I can remember. Even now she still finds a way to save me. But if it wasn't for you I don't think I would be alive right now. You gave me something to live for...a reason to fight for my life. And fight I did. With everything I had I gave it all down there to get back to you. I hope you know how much you have changed my life. You've given me a life."

**Two More Chapters! Next Chapter Jackson gets his.**

**Lyrics from Nell Bryden "Sirens"**


	29. Vindicated

**"Last Exit to Brooklyn"**

**Author** :carmen_085

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any Third Watch characters. I do own all original characters appearing in this story

**Author's Note:** Aftermath of 9/11 in this chapter. Please be aware if this is upsetting to you. One more chapters and this story will be finished. I plan on a sequel that I will preview in the next chapter

**Chapter 29**

_Vindicated_

_I am selfish, I am wrong_

_I am right, I swear I'm right_

_Swear I knew it all along and_

_I am flawed_

_But I am cleaning up so well_

_I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself_

September 21, 2001

Ten days...that's how long they had been down there. Liz could have been fooled though because it felt like a life time. Twelve hours on...twelve off; sleep, dig, eat, sleep, and dig some more. Every part of her ached and each morning she wondered if she would be able to do it again. Leaning back against a building she slid down to sit on the ground. Pulling the dust mask off her face she wiped the sweat from her forehead. Her blue t-shirt and pants stuck to her; caked with dirt and grime. Staring straight ahead she looked at nothing and everything at the same time.

In the beginning they were excited to get down there; so sure that hundreds of people needed rescued. Atlas had gone with her every day to search; he too was energized by the prospect of finding someone alive in that mess. But one day turned into two, and then three, four, and five. And they never found a single survivor. A few people were found in those first few days but she knew for a fact that it was less then twenty. Over a thousand people searching night and day and all that's all they could find. And as each day drug on they began to accept that there just wasn't anyone left to find, but they never stopped looking.

Dipping her head down she closed her eyes. Early on the morning of the twelfth the Lieu from Brooklyn called her. Callahan was missing. He took a few rookies and headed over the Brooklyn Bridge right after the first plane hit. He was working the street when he saw an explosion across the river in Manhattan. The Lieu told her Callahan made one of the first official reports of the attacks. She wasn't surprised, he was one of the smartest people she had ever worked with. He checked in with his rookies to the Tower Two Command Post and they were sent up in the building to aid in the evacuation. No one had seen him since.

That day she couldn't wait to get down there with Atlas and find him. From all her time in Brooklyn Atlas knew Callahan well and could most certainly smell him a mile away. She was sure he would be there somewhere, buried in the collapse still alive. Out of everyone she knew, he would be the one to find a way to survive. Honestly she couldn't even imagine Callahan not making it. He was almost indestructible in her mind.

That first day they stayed down there sixteen hours looking everywhere for him. She probably moved ten tons of debris all together as her arms were literally shaking by the end of the day. Atlas went into every crevice, down every hole, and across every gap sniffing every square inch until he just couldn't do it anymore. And then at the end of that first day something caught his attention and he ran over a hill of debris intent. She was tired and she had no idea what had gotten into him but she was still hoping against hope that they could find Callahan. So she forced her legs to move and she crawled up that hill. On the other side in the gray light Atlas sat staring at the ground. Behind her machinery roared on but all she could hear was the pounding of her own heart. A chill ran up her spine as she inched closer. A dark blue shirt peeked out of the debris. Cautiously she knelt down and began to move rocks aside. She heard Bosco come up beside her but she didn't look at him. His hands, bloodied and nearly ripped to shreds, worked silently beside her as more of the shirt came into view. Her breath hitched in her throat when she realized it was a uniform shirt. Her pace picked up and Atlas whined beside her. Working toward the top of the shirt she became almost frantic. And then she stopped because at the collar of the shirt there was nothing...nothing in the sleeves and nothing past the last button. Bosco slowly wiped the dust from the front of the shirt; red letters 'FDNY'. Liz shot up to her feet. It was a torso...everything else had been ripped off. Her legs started to move away and then before she knew it she was running.

She ran for at least five blocks...far away from the pile and the harsh white lights that illuminated it all night long. She heard Atlas's collar jingling behind her but she didn't turn around. When she could no longer hear the shovels or smell the jet fuel she stopped. It wasn't the first mangled body she had seen down there but it was the first in a uniform and the first she really thought could be Callahan. Covering her face with her hands she breathed in and out. She felt Bosco's hands on her shoulders a short time later turning her towards him. Holding her tight in his arms she lost it and began crying hysterically. They stayed there for a while not saying anything. There was nothing she could say to explain how she felt and there was nothing Bosco could say to make her feel any better. They went home silently that night a sense of hopelessness creeping into their hearts.

That was the last time she cried. Since that night she kept her head down and did the work she knew she had to do. After five days she knew that he was dead. No way he could still be alive that long pinned in some crevice. They would find him eventually or maybe a piece of him like they had been finding of everyone else. An ear...a foot...maybe a leg with a few toes still attached. Yesterday they found a man's torso still half clothed in a business suit. When they lifted it out, a woman's hand with an engagement ring fell out from inside. It made her sick and she had to look away. The force it took to rip someone apart and then literally insert two body parts from different people inside one another was something she could not understand. All she knew was that this was only going to get worse.

She watched Bosco as he moved another bucket. He hadn't slowed down once in ten days and she was beginning to worry that he was coming apart. He wasn't sleeping, barely ate, and worked like a dog for twelve hours straight. He stopped, rubbing his lower back as he bent backwards staring up at the sky. Bosco had lost weight and his face looked thin and drawn as she stared at him in the waning daylight. If possible he took the news of Callahan worse than she did. The man had given him a second chance when no one else wanted to, and that chance changed Bosco's whole life. He never thanked him for that but Liz was sure that Callahan knew.

That night, when they finally found each other again, was that closest that her and Bosco would ever be. A moment filled with love in every way. And not just love but also immense relief and gratitude that they were both still there. But since that night and after they learned how much they had actually lost both of them couldn't help but to drift apart slightly. Liz didn't need to ask; she knew that Bosco felt guilty that he had lived and Callahan had not. Two men in the same place on the same day doing the same thing. The only difference between them was that one of them was in the wrong building.

Bosco pulled the dust mask off his face and walked around in circles. He hadn't slept more than two hours in the last ten days. Every time he closed his eyes he thought about orange and khaki tumbling end over end and when he didn't think about that he thought about Callahan ripped into so many pieces they would never find him. And if he got even a moment's reprieve then there was Jackson. Just as Bosco had suspected the son of a bitch was alive. He turned up at the house the day after while they were all down at the pile. Told the boss some bullshit about being hit over the head by a piece of debris. Said he walked almost a hundred blocks from downtown back to his place in a complete and utter daze. He had, of course, learned that Bosco was still alive and had time to process that fact before they actually came face to face. That moment came the morning of the thirteenth when Bosco and Liz walked into the roll call room together and he was there leaning against the wall like it was just another day. Like two days ago, as the world was coming to an end, his only concern was trying to kill another cop. Like he wasn't a thug, a thief, and a murder. Like he didn't give a shit because he knew at the end of the day they had no real proof of anything.

It was just one more thing that was slowly eating away at Bosco. Really it was the least of his problems right now. He would never stop until he took care of this for Faith but somehow in the last two days her death just didn't seem as important. He knew that sounded awful but it was true. Eight months ago he couldn't think of anything worse than losing a single cop, now he wondered how he could ever be so naive. In the last ten days it felt like he had lived another life. It was hard to imagine ever going back to the way it was. And as each day passed he wondered if he and Liz would survive this. So many things had come between them and they both carried a burden of grief that neither could adequately put into words. So they didn't. They loved each other more than anything but this was so complicated and so overwhelming they just didn't know where to start.

A loud horn sounded and the digging stopped. Liz sprang up to her feet. This had happened at least thirty times before and it meant that something was going to collapse. So when they heard the horn everyone ran. Her legs ached as she stopped at the command post a block away. Bosco came up behind her breathing heavy. Everyone was quiet as they waited. Creaking of metal and a loud grinding sound and then nothing. Ten minutes later someone got on the loud speaker and told them the shift was over and to go home. The pile had shifted and no one was permitted back down there until the engineers came in. Liz sighed as she pulled the dust mask off her forehead and threw it on the ground. Wordlessly, her and Bosco walked toward their RMP. Her boots scraped along the ground as she was completely exhausted. Bosco looked back at her and let out a sigh.

"Tired?" It wasn't what he said but the way he said it. Yes it was a completely idiotic question as she was beyond exhausted at this point just like everyone else but it was his tone that made her stop in her tracks. Taunting and snide she wondered why he was talking to her like that. Still she couldn't be mad at him; she loved him too much.

"What's wrong?" Bosco stopped as he swung the RMP door open a little too forcefully. Why was she such a good person? Why did she always have to take the high road and be so goddamned understanding. It's one of the reasons why he loved her so much but right now it was making him mad.

"Nothing. Just thought you would want to keep going until we found..." He stopped and looked down before looking away shaking his head. "Never mind." Getting into the car he slammed the driver's door as he waited for her to get in. Slowly Liz walked to the passenger side and leaned in the window. She stared at Bosco until he made eye contact with her.

"He's dead, Bosco." Her voice was smooth and even. The raw emotion completely blunted by days of unfiltered human carnage.

Grinding his teeth back and forth Bosco sneered at her. "I know... Everyone's fucking dead." Sighing she pushed out of the window and opened the door, sitting down in the passenger seat.

"I think we both need a day off...a day away from this. I'm exhausted and I know you're not sleeping..." Before she could finish he cut her off.

"Don't tell me what I need." The car was quiet with a tense silence. "I talked to the boss this morning. I'm going to switch to overnights." The words came out of his mouth and he instantly regretted the whole idea. Liz let the air out of her lungs and turned away. For the first time in ten days she felt tears come to her eyes. What he said was that he wanted to work the pile overnight but what she heard was that he wanted to get away from her. Shaking her head she looked down at her hands. Right now is when they should be coming together not falling apart. Still she loved him and she wanted to give him the benefit of every doubt.

"Bosco I know you got a lot of shit going on right now. We all do. And we still need to finish this thing with Faith..."

"I don't give a damn about Faith anymore. She died. Big fucking deal. So did a lot of other people." Liz looked at him in shock. She couldn't believe he just said that. Nodding toward the open passenger side door, Bosco snapped at her impatiently. "Are you going to close that sometime today? Or are we going to sit here all night?" Liz was pissed now but more than that she was sad. She didn't know this person in front of her.

"NO. I'm not going to close the fucking door. What is your problem?" Her blue eyes blazed into his and given any other set of circumstances Bosco would be incredibly turned on right not. But not tonight. He was digging the hole and there was no use stopping now.

"What's my problem? Well...let's see for ten days I haven't slept more than two hours because every time I close my eyes I see..." He almost said it. I see a man in orange and khaki falling to his death. "I see body parts in buckets and then I wake up and I see body parts in buckets. And you're right Callahan's dead. He was in the wrong building I was in the right one. Lucky me." Liz reached across the console for his hand. Bosco wanted her to hold his hand. He wanted her...no he needed her right now but he just couldn't do it. He wasn't mad at her; he could never be mad at her. He just didn't know how to deal with the way he was feeling right now. Pulling his hand away he shook his head. "Don't do that."

That was it. He had used up all his chances and then some. Now she was hurt and she was really mad. "You know I never figured you for one to leave a partner behind but looks like you got no problem with it." Bosco looked at her in surprise. He kind of thought she was going take all his shit laying down.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well first you dump me to work alone down in this mess and now you do't give a shit about Faith or finishing this thing with Jackson. So yeah I guess that's what you are. Things get hard and you take off."Her words hurt him more than she knew but she wasn't wrong. He was trying to run away from everything that hurt. "So go ahead. Leave." He flinched as she got out of the car and slammed the door shut. She stood there on the curb before leaning into the window. When she spoke her voice was raw with emotion, "You can try and hide all this from me but I know you, Bosco. And I can see you." He met her eyes and in that moment he wanted to fall apart and just let everything go. "I won't give up on you." He opened his mouth to say something but no words came out. Seeing this she sighed. Pushing back from the window she shrugged her shoulders. "I guess I'll see you around partner."

Liz walked away tears coming to her eyes. She wanted to turn around and run back to him. Beg him to let all this go and just be like it was before. But she heard the RMP peel out and her heart sank. Turning she sat down on the steps of a bank. It's windows had been blown out by the collapse and it was covered up with plywood. No one was around. Liz covered her face and willed herself not to cry. She thought about Dave, her first partner in the NYPD and the first person who really believed in her. Dave who never knew what hit him that night in Brooklyn. And Dave who died long before the whole world went to shit. She thought about Callahan, if possible he believed in her even more than Dave. Callahan who always found a way to watch over her and keep her safe even when she was deep under. And Callahan who was probably in so many pieces they would never find all of him. She thought about Faith, a woman she never met who managed to change her entire life. Faith who kissed her children good bye every day and strapped on a bullet proof vest just trying to make a living. And Faith who died a death even more unjust than those she was working day and night to find. When she closed her eyes and she thought of Dave and Callahan and, of course, Faith...all these people that changed her life in some way; only one thought came to mind and it was that she needed to keep going. None of them would have given up and she couldn't either. Not on herself, or Bosco, or doing what she knew was right.

* * *

Sully navigated the RMP through what seemed like an endless stream of check points. In the passenger seat Davis rested his head against the window as his eyes numbly stared at block after block of emergency vehicles. The streets leading into ground zero, as the media had begun to call it, were jammed with emergency agencies that had come from all over the country. Everyone wanted to help and that was great but Davis just wanted it to be over. The twelve hour shifts, the digging, the waiting and the wondering, the abject exhaustion and despair. He dreamed of his normal life...his routine and then he reminded himself that he still had a life and for that he should be grateful.

Today they had gotten a break. Instead of digging they spent twelve hours at a check point on the Holland Tunnel getting yelled at by pissed off motorists. Sighing Davis closed his eyes, he just wanted to go back to the radio car. Answer calls...eat pizza...bitch about Bosco ducking...do paperwork. It was more than the normalcy he wanted...he needed to feel like he was doing something useful again. Like he was actually helping someone and accomplishing something. He knew the work they were doing at ground zero was important but it was just so...so disheartening. The families of those people suffer one loss...a major one, this is true, but for those who were digging that loss was felt over and over again. The sorrow not nearly as intense but the unending repetition heart breaking in its own rite. And not just heart breaking but exhausting both mentally and physically.

Sully slowed the car to a stop and Liz got in the back. The door slammed shut wordlessly as his eyes flickered in the mirror. She didn't look at him and he took that to mean that something was wrong. Letting off the brake they drifted into the stream of emergency vehicles heading away from the glowing white lights of the pile. Daylight had begun to fade into night as the city was bathed in a orange purple light.

"You guys want to go get some pizza?" She hoped they wouldn't say no. Not only did she need someone to talk to right now she also craved something ordinary.

Davis immediately perked up. Both he and Sully were exhausted but they hadn't eaten anything all day. "Yeah...Yeah I could go for a slice. Sul ?" Sully wanted to go home and get in bed. Scowling at the road he shook his head.

"Sure...why not." Thirty minutes later they were sitting around a pizza box. The pizza shop was empty except for them and the owner who kept tossing sympathetic glances across the counter. Liz stared at her boots as Davis made small talk about their detail. Sully sat back in his chair staring at her in the buzzing fluorescent lights.

"What's wrong?" Davis stopped talking as Liz raised her eyes from the dirty linoleum floor. Meeting Sully's eyes briefly she quickly looked away as a wave of emotion came over her. She shook her head as she looked back down again.

"I don't know what to do...I feel like I'm losing him." Sully let out a long sigh. Liz quickly wiped a tear from her cheek. Leaning forward she rested her elbows on her knees as she covered her face.

Reaching across the table Sully touched her arm. "Listen...you and Bosco are meant for each other more than any other two people in the whole world." He paused licking his lips as he looked away for a moment. "I know this can't be easy right now but things will settle down and you'll see...it will get better."

Liz nodded as she sat back in the chair. "I don't mean to pry, Liz." Davis's voice was smooth and comforting and she thought she could listen to him all night. "But what's his problem?"

Davis had a point. What was his problem? Everyone had lost something; he was luckier than most. "Well there's Callahan..." The two men nodded and grunted. They didn't know him but they knew how much he meant to both Bosco and Liz. "I...I think something happened down there that he isn't telling me."

"You mean on the eleventh?" Sully spoke up as he looked at her skeptically.

Nodding she met his eyes briefly. "Yeah. He told me everything but I think there's something he's holding back...something that's eating him alive." Sully nodded as he shrugged his shoulders.

"He'll tell you eventually. That's how Bosco is...he needs to compartmentalize it before he can talk about it." Liz looked like she didn't believe him as she leaned forward on her knees, her head hanging down. "I'm sure Jackson isn't helping either." She let out a wry laugh.

"I hate that fucking guy. He should be dead instead of Callahan." She had thought it about a million times but this was the first time she said it out loud. Davis shook his head as he sat back in the chair.

"Oh come on...you know people like that never die." Snorting Liz looked away in disgust. Ain't that the truth...good people never win.

"He lived but that doesn't mean he's won." They both stopped and stared at Sully. "Listen...what if there's still a way."

Liz sighed loudly as she looked at Sully doubtful that anything could work. "We don't have any proof...never did."

"Yeah but what if there's something we missed? What if there's someone else to talk to ? And I know this makes me sound like an asshole but listen. When we looked into this before people didn't give a shit about us...now everyone wants to help us." Using the attacks as leverage in this made her feel sick but he wasn't wrong. Liz closed her eyes for a moment and deep inside her she heard Dave's voice...and Callahan's...and a light female voice she could only assume was Faith's. This was it...they had to look again because someone...or something was out there that would close this for good.

She smiled a little at the thought of putting Jackson away for good but wouldn't allow herself to get too excited about it yet. "I don't think Bosco is going to help right now. He told me today he doesn't care anymore about Faith. That it seems unimportant after everything else."

Sully shrugged and shook his head. Her death had been dwarfed by the immense loss of life on the eleventh but that didn't mean it was unimportant. And not for a second did he believe that Bosco didn't care anymore. "He'll come around. In the mean time you have us."

Liz looked at their faces. Neither of them flinched at the idea of working all day and all night. "Are you sure? I mean I know you're tired."

Davis didn't hesitate as he quickly spoke up, "We need a win, Liz. Because all we're doing now is losing." Nodding she couldn't agree more. It would feel so good to make something right.

"I've been thinking about all this, you know, since the eleventh. Working down at the pile I keep going over this case in my head. I guess it's easier to think about this than everything else." Sully stopped talking for a moment and sat back in the chair as he rubbed his knuckles deep in thought. "I...I think that we should go back to the truck driver and see if he'll testify now."

Liz had heard about George Ramirez and that he saw the crash but didn't want to testify. Sully wasn't mad about it and said the guy was worried about his family. "You think he will now?"

Sully nodded, "He might." Liz began thinking about Lysette and if she could find her again and convince her to come to the DA. She wondered if the girl had taken her advice and gone to the GEMS program. It was a place to start. And yet that's all they had. An uncooperative truck driver and a hooker. It didn't inspire much confidence.

"Hey did anyone look at the businesses near that intersection? See if any of them have surveillance?" Davis spoke up and Liz was immediately intrigued although doubtful.

"If they didn't find tape of it then it's probably long gone. Taped over thousands of times by now." Liz sighed loudly.

"Hey its worth a shot..." Sully was being uncharacteristically positive. "Maybe it will be just enough to put that bastard away for good." A small smile came to Liz's face as she imagined Jackson's cell door clicking shut.

* * *

Bosco moved slowly as the line in front of him inched forward. A stream of never ending navy blue waiting to get through the final check point into ground zero. Adjusting the bag on his shoulder he shifted his weight from foot to foot as he sighed. It was his first overnight shift and he was already wondering if maybe this had been a mistake. When he asked the Lieu to switch him over he was mad and exhausted and clearly not thinking straight. He slept very little through the night and almost not at all during the day. He kept thinking about Liz down there without him and the idea of it all made him sick. He had been so stupid...why did he do this?

A few days ago the military had begun guarding the checkpoints around the site. His fellow officers finally released back to their precincts to try and be normal cops agains. He snorted to himself...what was normal? Bosco wasn't sure he could ever move beyond this and be normal again. For part of him it would always be the eleventh. Flashing his ID the national guardsman nodded solemnly as he moved into the "cold zone", an area where they could leave their personal effects that was considered safe. An area where they would run over and over through the night as debris shifted and that god forsaken horn blew once again.

Dropping his bag he stuffed a handful of gloves and a couple dust masks into his pocket as he pulled his NYPD hat down low over his red rimmed eyes. Shoes dragging over the pavement he marched toward the pile and what they considered the "hot zone"; an area full of danger. Deep inside of him he ached to have his partner by his side right now. He had no idea why he said those things to her..why he pushed her away like that. All he knew was that he wanted her there by his side. Closing his eyes for a moment he breathed in; his nose stinging with the stench of jet fuel and rotting human flesh. He saw a blue sky and an orange shirt falling end over end right at him. Snapping his eyes open someone handed him a bucket as he took his assigned area and began to dig.

* * *

It was dark now as Liz smoothed her hair in the car window. She was in Harlem at a place called GEMS. A former prostitute ran a program there for other girls who wanted to get off the street. They provided a range of services but most importantly they provided a family for women who had none. A support system for those who needed it most. She dealt with the woman who ran the program, Rachel, when she was working Brooklyn Vice and she found her to be extremely well put together. So much so that she referred several woman to her that wanted to get out of the life.

Opening the front door she cautiously stepped inside a well lit room. In the back she could smell something cooking and hear laughter. The normalcy of that moment made her smile. Time had a way of standing still at that awful tragic pile of debris; she thought maybe that's just the way the world was now. But she was wrong; not even five miles away amongst a group of people, who had suffered devastating losses of their own, life had found a way to go on.

"Can I help you?" A girl not more than thirteen years old was standing behind her smiling. Liz shuddered thinking a child so young had been out on the street selling herself not long ago.

"Uh...yeah. Is Rachel here?" The girl nodded cheerfully and disappeared around the corner.

A few minutes passed before a young dark hair woman appeared. "Can I help you?" Liz was a tiny bit disapppointed that she didn't remember her but quickly reminded herself that this woman probably dealt with hundreds of cops.

"Yeah my name is Liz Jensen I used to work with Brooklyn vice now I'm at the 55. I came across a girl about a month or so ago that I referred here; I was just wondering if she ever showed up. I'm trying to find her to follow up on a case she helped me with." It wasn't a total lie. "Her name was Lysette Jones."

Rachel immediately nodded and Liz felt her spirits soar. It was a sign. This was all going to work out after all. "She's in back. Been here for about three weeks. I think she's going to really turn it around."

A few minutes later Lysette appeared in an apron covered with flour and Liz had to do a double take. She looked clean and healthy; her thick curly hair tied into a pony tail she wore an easy smile. When she laid eyes on Liz, however, immediate recognition followed by a look of fear. "Am I in trouble?"

Liz smiled letting a relieved laugh escape her lips. "No...No of course not. Do you rememeber who I am?"

Lysette nodded slowly. "Yeah. You and your partner wanted to know about that cop."

"That's right." Liz swallowed hard. There was no sense in beating around the bush. "I'm here because I need you to help me. I need you to come with me down to the DA and tell her what you told me and Bosco that night."

Lysette shook her head. "But what if he comes back and hurts me ? That cop guy. I just got my life together."

Liz nodded her understanding. "That guy from the track...the one who told you that Yokas didn't deserve it. He's dead." Her eyes raised in surprise as Liz continued, "and his partner thinks he got away with this but we're going to make sure he goes to jail. Lysette if it's the last thing I do I will make sure that piece of shit gets locked up."

"And if he doesn't ?" If it was anyone else Liz would wonder if they were being uncooperative or adversarial. But she knew how far Lysette had come and how much the young woman was afraid to lose.

"Bosco and I will protect you." She looked behind Liz briefly.

"Where is Bosco?" That was a good question. She knew where he physically was but mentally he seemed to have disappeared.

"He's down there...digging." A sympathetic look crossed Lysette's face as she nodded.

"Oh...I thought about both of you that day. I was hoping you guys were alright." Liz was touched not only by her words but really how far she had come.

"Will you at least think about this for me?" She didn't want to push her too hard.

Lysette nodded. Liz turned to leave not wanting this situation to become forced or awkward. As she reached for the door knob a voice from behind made her stop. "I'll do it." Slowly she turned as Lysette took a few steps toward her. "I'll do it. I'll testify or whatever." They were both silent for a moment. "I'm getting my GED in a couple months and then Rachel's going to help me get into college and..." She closed her eyes clearly ovewhelmed by emotion. "And then I'm going to have a real life." Liz smiled at her as she reached out and touched her arm.

"I'm so happy for you." Lysette's eyes popped back open as her face with steeled with a new resolve.

"None of that would have ever happened without you and Bosco. So whatever you need me to do I'll do it." Liz let her eyes slip closed for a moment as she exhaled a breath that she didn't know she was holding.

"Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me." Lysette nodded and smiled. "I'll call you when I know when we are going to the DA."

Walking out the door Liz waited until she was outside to let her lips spread into a wide grin. This was going to happen. It was really really going to happen.

* * *

Sully raised his hand to knock on a door that was not entirely unfamiliar. Red and worn it looked like thousands of doors in New York yet it was different. A commotion inside and then the lock clicked and the door swung open. Sully opened his mouth to say something but the young man staring at him spoke first.

"Oh man." Taking a step out he closed the door behind him as he leaned against his paint chipped entryway. George Ramirez didn't bother with shoes or a shirt as he stood before Sully on this late summer night wearing nothing but a pair of black gym shorts and white socks.

"George.." Sully wasn't sure how he was going to convince him to do this. He was pretty clear before that he wasn't getting involved. But things were different now...at least Sully hoped they were. "I need to talk to you again."

George sighed but didn't say anything as he shook his head. Why wouldn't these people just leave him alone?

"I need you to think about coming down to the DA to give a statement about what you saw that day. We...we think we'll have enough to finally put that cop away."

"You think you'll have enough ? That guy came to my house...he had a gun. My kids live here, man." George turned around and Sully felt a sudden panic. This was going worse than he thought.

"I know you're scared but I also know you can't forget this. Faith...her kids. I know you think about her face and what you saw. George I'm not even asking anymore...I'm begging. Please...Please come to the DA with me. I'll do everything I can to protect you." Sully threw it all out on the line; this was his last chance.

Ramirez paused for a moment, his hand on the door knob, before slowly turning around in the dark. The yellow foyer light above him buzzed as a siren echoed somewhere in the distance. Licking his lips he looked over Sully's shoulder across the East River downtown. "You know I was down there that day. I had just made a delivery in Chinatown and when I looked up this huge fucking plane flew right into the building. I thought I was dreaming." His shoulders slumped as he leaned against the door jam. "I didn't know what to do. I don't know how to help anyone...I just drive a truck."

Sully sighed as he shifted his gaze to the ground. "Nobody knew what to do, George."

"I wanted to run away. Get back to Queens as fast and I could and get my kids. I was afraid. I didn't want to be down there. I...I didnt know what was next. Bombs in the streets, another plane..." He shook his head in retrospective disbelief. "But I was worried about the truck and what would happen if I left it there So I got on the FDR and it was jammed but all I could think about was getting out of there. And then just as I'm coming up onto the Triboro the second plane...the explosion made the whole bridge shake. People were running across the bridge through the traffic...it looked like a movie Officer Sullivan."

"I know...I still can't quite understand it myself." Sully didn't know what else to say. He didn't have the emotional capacity to deal with anyone else's grief right not but for some reason he didn't mind listening.

"People were beating on the truck. They wanted me to let them in the back...get them out of there. I didn't know what to do. So I just kept going. On the other side of the bridge a cop stopped me and said the city had closed the bridge down. I...I didn't even care anymore. I just had to get my kids. So I left the truck and I ran. But the whole time I kept looking over my shoulder at that smoke coming from downtown." Ramirez paused for a moment as he looked Sully in the eye. "And I thought about you...and part of me hoped that you were safe because you seemed like a good man and a good cop." Sully didn't know how to take that as he just smiled a little. "And part of me hoped that you were dead because then I would be free of this...I wouldn't have to lay in bed wondering if I did the right thing...I wouldn't have to see her face in that car...and most of all I wouldn't have to wonder about her kids and if they were getting on without their mother." Sully didn't know what to say. He never could have imagined that this was still bothering him so much.

"Even if I was dead you would still have to live with it." Ramirez nodded before looking Sully in the eye.

"I know. But I always knew you were going to come back around. To find me...to force me to make this right."

Sully shrugged. "I can't force you to do anything." Ramirez looked at him before turning and opening the door. "But I know this won't go away until you do." Stopping for moment he stepped into the doorway. Turning back he looked at Sully one last time.

"I know."

* * *

The six train clicked and rumbled out of the station as a gust of warm air blew the brim of the hat on his head. Reaching up, Ty Davis pulled it back down low over his eyes as he took a deep breath. This was it. He had only been on the job a couple of years but now he was on his own to get this done. It wasn't really plain clothes or undercover but he was still doing police work without a uniform and for that fact alone he was excited. Jogging up the subway stairs he was met with the sounds of sirens as a fire truck thundered past on Lexington. He was tired; they had been down at the pile all day digging. But that didn't matter right now, this was important to him as it was to the rest of them. Crossing the street his eyes drifted into the intersection. It happened right there and no matter how many times he went past it he would never be able to forget that day. And now he had a chance to make it right; he couldn't screw this up.

Bells on the door jingled as he walked inside a bodega that sat right at the corner. He hadn't noticed any cameras on the outside but he was betting there was at least one inside. A young hispanic kid stood behind the counter wearing an 'I Love NY' t-shirt as an American flag hung loosely over the door. Ty tried to appear as casual as possible as he sauntered up to the counter.

"Yeah?...You want to buy cigarettes?" The kid looked at him questioningly as he pulled out his NYPD ID and sat it on the counter. "Oh man...I don't know nothing..."

"You don't know nothing?" Davis let out a laugh. "Come on man, you don't even know what I'm going to ask." The kid pushed back from the counter and crossed his arms. He couldn't have been more than sixteen. Davis decided to just go for it before this got any worse. Licking his lips he looked at the door before leaning his elbows on the counter. "Where's your security cameras?"

"We don't got any." Davis didn't believe that. Places like this were always getting robbed.

"Oh come on now...I know that isn't true." Behind him he heard a door open and foot steps.

"Can I help you?" An older man with a thick dominican accent appeared from behind an aisle of potato chips. Davis stood up as he subconsciously changed his approach. Holding his ID up for the man to see he tried to appear non confrontational but assertive. "Officer Davis 55th precinct." Was that what you were supposed to say? He wasn't sure. He had never been out of uniform. The older man nodded slowly looking expectantly at Ty. "I'm here because my friend, Officer Faith Yokas, was killed in the intersection right there." He gestured out the door as the man's eyes momentarily followed him before looking back. "She was in a car accident...and I think another cop caused it. I...I thought you might have surveillance video of the crash."

The man looked at Ty for a long moment before nodding toward the back room. The kid at the register let out a loud pssth as he mumbled something under his breath. Davis quietly followed the man down a dark hallway into a small office. A yellow light buzzed overhead as stacks of paper threatened to tip over. "A man came in February a few days after the accident. It was late at night and we were about to close." He sat down on the desk and crossed his arms as Davis leaned against the door frame. "He stuck a gun in my son's face and smacked my head off the counter." Davis raised an eyebrow. "He was big and blonde and said that if I opened my mouth he would kill my son. I thought he just wanted to rob us but he was looking for the video tape of that accident. I tell him we have no cameras but he didn't believe me." The man sighed. "I thought he was going to kill my son...so I gave him what we had and he left." Davis's shoulders noticeably slumped.

"It's ok, man. You had to protect your kid." He couldn't hide his disappointment. Whatever was on that tape must have been good if Jackson wanted it that much.

"A few weeks later I see that same son of a bitch out in the street dressed like a fucking cop..." He paused as he sneered looking completely disgusted. "And you know what I laughed at him. Cops like him think they they can do anything to people like me. And I guess he can...but he wasn't smarter then me." The man reached into the drawer beneath his legs and pulled a vhs tape out. Holding it out to Ty he smiled a knowing smile. Davis couldn't believe his eyes.

"Is this...?"

"I was here that day...I went outside and I saw that lady cop getting pulled out of the car. She looked real bad. I saw the driver of the truck who hit her sitting on the curb crying...I saw her partner fighting the paramedics to get to her. And I knew...she was somebody...she meant something. So I come back inside and I look at the tapes and I see that other car push her in front of the truck. I knew someone would come for that tape. And I don't mean that blonde bastard...I knew a friend would come looking and want to know why. So I made two copies just in case and I kept this one locked up until the right person came to get it."

Davis suddenly wished it was Bosco here now instead of him. Sure he cared about Faith, but Bosco was most definitely 'the right person'. Despite that Ty couldn't help but to feel overcome with excitement. "I can't tell you what this means. Will you come to the DA and tell her what you saw? Tell her that he came here and threatened you and your son?"

The smile on the man's face faded as he shook his head. "I can't Officer Davis...I'm not legal in your country." He gestured toward the tape in Ty's hand. "You'll have what you need right there." Davis looked at the tape in his hands before looking back up at the man. He doubted that the DA would try to deport him yet he understood the hesitation.

"Thank you. I promise you'll never see that cop again." The man nodded sadly.

"I hope." Ty turned to leave before looking back once more.

"It's not my country...it's our country." The man's dark eyes smiled as Davis left the store feeling better than he had in a long time.

* * *

Liz paced back and forth in the hallway outside of the DA's office. From the bench in front of her Sully watched as he leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees. Davis sat back tapping his foot nervously as he fidgeted side to side.

"Would you two relax?" Liz scowled at him momentarily before resuming to wear a path in the carpet. "We have enough...this is going to work out."

Looking at the clock on the wall it was almost noon. Lysette wasn't here, George wasn't here, and they had a tape none of them had even watched. Maybe this was a mistake. Liz looked toward the stairs for the hundreth time today. Sully followed her eyes and could practically read her mind.

"He'll be here." Bosco...she went over to his place this morning and got him out of bed although she wasn't sure he was sleeping to begin with. She told him everything; that they had Lysette and George and a video tape of the crash that would be proof it was no accident. She babbled on and on like an excited child and when she was done his expression hadn't changed one bit. Defeated, sad...like none of this meant anything to him anymore. He asked how she could take a day off from digging at the pile when she knew that Callahan was still down there somewhere. Faith was dead and she was never coming back just like everybody else. But it meant something, though, and they had to finish what they started.

Heels clicked behind her as a sense of relief washed over when she say Lysette. Wearing what was probably the best clothes she had she offered an awkward smile. Sully and Davis both nodded wondering if she remembered them from that night months ago. "Where's Bosco?" The words came out low but Liz could see the shock on her face. From the beginning this was Bosco's fight and everyone knew it. Not trusting herself to reply she shook her head.

The door to the DA's office opened and an elderly woman smiled. "Ms. Markum will see you now." Liz tried to appear confident although she was far from it.

The secretary led them down a hallway into a conference room. DA Markum sat the the head of the table as Liz estimated there were no less than tweleve chairs. Their group of four looked even weaker than before as the DA peered at them over her black rimmed frames. "I understand you are here today because you believe a cop...Officer Brian Jackson...may have intentionally caused a traffic accident that killed another cop...a um...Officer Faith Yokas?"

Liz was quick to speak up. This was it; no turning back now. "Yes ma'am. That as well as other crimes."

"Other crimes?" She looked down at her papers before shaking her head; her voice sharp and questioning. "And why have you not taken this to IAB first?"

Sully wasted no time at that. "Internal Affairs investigated the crash and found no wrong doing. They indicated to us that their investigation was closed." She looked at Sully long and hard before looking back down at the papers in front of her. The door creaked open and Liz felt her heart speed up. The elderly woman appeared once again, apologetic for interrupting.

"I'm sorry Ms. Markum but this young man got lost. He says he is here for Officer Sullivan." George Ramirez stook behind her wearing a wrinkled white shirt and a crooked tie. He looked unsure but also relieved that the burden he had been carrying for months would finally be lifted from his shoulders.

The DA waved him over and George quickly took a seat next to Sully; the older man practically beaming that he had come through at the last minute. "Alright then. What kind of proof do you have against Officer Jackson?"

Lysette and George both made statements that any cop would have been proud of. They left out no details and remained calm. DA Markum was intimidating but softened slightly when she realized how hard they were trying. Liz, Sully, and Davis played the surveillance video for the first time hoping that it would be enough to put Jackson away. The tape was grainy and as it played Liz's heart was pounding. It showed a clear view of 55 David approaching the intersection and stop before Jackson's RMP came ripping in behind. No brake lights were ever seen from the rear of Jackson's patrol car and it definitely looked like he made no attempt to stop. There was a surprise on the tape , though, and Davis finally knew what the shop owner meant when he said that they would have more than enough. There were two cameras that looped into one recording. The camera on the side caught a hesitant looking Geidel shuffle up to a pay phone, make a call, and then run back around the corner. A few minute later 55 David races by with Jackson wasting not a second to pull out behind.

Sully sat back in his chair. If they were in any other place he would slap Ty on the back for a job well done. The smiles on all their faces were quickly wiped away as the DA sat back in her chair. Sighing loudly she rubbed her temples. "I can't condone the fact that you did this without IAB..." Her eyes looked between Liz, Sully, and Davis. "And I assume your commanding officer knows nothing about this either." They looked down and she had her answer before anyone said a word. "Despite that I cannot deny that I am afraid you may be right about everything." Liz immediately perked up while trying not to seem too happy. "I need someone to go and get Officer Jackson and bring him down here."

Sully and Davis were out of their seats before she was done talking. Jackson was working today so he wouldn't be hard to find. Letting out a breath she didn't know she was holding Liz felt alive again. Through all the pain and tragedy of the last two weeks they had finally managed to do something right.

* * *

Bosco stood in front of his living room window and stared down at the street. A few people walking by, someone with a dog on a leash, and a car stopped at the red light. Much the same scene that Liz saw on the morning of the eleventh; it looked so normal but in reality nothing was normal anymore. Bosco leaned his head against the glass as he let his eyes drift close. In his mind he heard Liz pounding on his door and he jumped. His eyes fluttered open as he felt an ache so deep inside him. She was so beautiful standing there this morning looking tired but so very much alive. Her eyes twinkled with a renewed hope as she looked about ready to burst with excitement. He wanted so much to get swept up in it all but he couldn't let that happen. One more tragedy, one more disappointment and he would never be able to put his life back together. But more than that he felt guilty; how could he spend worrying about something that happened to him months ago? Faith's death affected a small circle of people; all of which had moved on except for him. Every morning when he woke up it was still the eleventh for him. He saw all of their faces in his mind and he wondered if they were still down there. There was Callahan, the Port Authority Chief, the ESU guys looking for tools, the woman in the red dress, the man in the gray suit, and of course khaki and tan falling end over end through the sky. Closing his eyes Bosco was forever grateful to his friends that they picked up the torch when he no longer could, but he couldn't deny the guilt he felt right now. This was his fight and they were doing all the fighting.

His eyes wandered to the box of Faith's belongings on the floor. It was time to put it away and move on. Kneeling down he forced the clothing and the papers to the bottom of the box. He tried to look through it a hundred times but he just couldn't. Closing the flaps something caught his eye. A white enveloped peeked out with ' _Bosco'_ written on it in familiar fancy cursive. Pulling the letter out he held it in it hands staring as if he didn't know what to do next. How had he never seen this before? He thought about putting it back in the box and sealing it all up for good. Whatever it said didn't matter much anymore. But he just couldn't. Faith had wrote those words to him and no matter what he could never turn his back on her. His hands were shaking slightly as he peeled the envelope back.

_Bosco,_

_If you're reading this letter it probably means I'm not here anymore. I'm sorry for that. I know you counted on me to be there for you. I needed you more than I ever let on. You have been my only real friend for as long as I can remember. I need you to know some things, my partner, and never forget them._

_You are stronger and better than you will ever believe. I have never met someone who overcame so much and still had the will to live. Nothing will ever beat you down, Bosco, you will always find a way through it._

_When love comes let it in. I know you have been hurt so much in the past but don't let that stop you from letting the right person love you. There will be someone so perfect for you, I just know it. I often times wished it could have been me but that wasn't in the cards. You were meant for someone else. And when you find her love her with everything you have. She will never fail you , I promise._

_Look after Emily and Charlie for me. They trust you but more importantly I trust you. Fred is far from perfect but he will do anything for those kids. Just be there...stand in my place the best that you can and never let them forget how much I loved them._

_Lastly, I know by now you have probably realized what happened to me was no accident. No matter how it happened I need you to know that it was Brian Jackson. I saw him kill a dealer and he told me he would kill me and it looks like he did. He's dirty, Bosco, and he's a murderer. You need to stop him before he hurts anyone else. I know you can do this and you will do this because partners always have each other's back._

_I love you and I miss you. I'll see you soon_

_Faith_

Bosco's heart was pounding as he read one sentence over and over. _I know you can do this and you will do this because partners always have each other's back._ Behind the note were more papers. Eyes scanning over them Bosco hands began to shake. All along the proof he needed was sitting right in that little box on the floor.

* * *

Brian Jackson parked the RMP crooked in front of Abdul's Mini Mart on Arthur and jumped out. He had been laying low long enough and it was time to get back in business. At this point he felt invincible; not only had he survived that clusterfuck downtown he also shot another cop and got away with it. In fact, he tried to kill Bosco twice and while that stupid son of a bitch was still alive he had nothing to prove Jackson had been involved at all. Throwing the door wide open he felt great. He was untouchable.

"Abdul vamanos amigo." The man behind the counter visibly slumped at the sight of Jackson. Completely oblivious Jackson perused the aisles grabbing a bag of chips and a soda. Throwing his goods on the counter he looked at the shop keeper expectantly.

"I don't speak spanish, you asshole." Punching the buttons on the register he scowled at Jackson. Over his shouder a picture of Huey Newton with his fist raised high in the air.

"Yeah I forgot...you like to pretend you're a Black Panther." Abdul refused to be baited and looked at Jackson expectantly.

"Four dollars and twelve cents." Jackson burst out laughing.

"Four dollars and tweleve cents...are you for real amigo?" Jackson was so into himself in that moment that he didn't even hear the bells on the door behind him. "I'm a god damn American hero, Abdul. So fuck your four dollars and twelve cents and give me what you know I came here for."

A five dollar bill appeared on the counter as Jackson whirled around. "Keep the change." Behind him Sully and Davis stood with a smirk that suddenly made him slightly queasy.

"Oh what now?" Jackson rolled his eyes. "You two fuckers just cannot leave me alone."

"He's no hero, Abdul. You can bet on that." Sully smirked as he reached for the chips and soda. "And he won't be needing this where he's going."

"What the hell are you two talking about?"

Davis spoke up as he pointed to 55 Charlie sitting out front. "You're coming with us. The DA wants to talk to you." Jackson felt a flicker of fear inside him. Still he reminded himself they had no proof and never would. Why not go talk to the DA. He had everything to hide but old lady Markum had nothing on him. Smirking he walked toward the door.

"Whatever. If that's what it takes to get Salt and Pepper down out of my ass then great. Let's go."

The bells on the door jingled as a voice from behind made all three of them stop. "Rot in hell, amigo." Abdul stood behind the counter raising his fist in the air. Davis looked back and nodded as Sully just stared. They had no idea how many people Jackson had vicitmized over the years.

* * *

Liz tapped her fingers on the table as she stared at the door. The DA had already asked her twice where the hell they were, and she couldn't stall much longer. Liz hoped Jackson suddenly didn't grow a brain cell and skip town. Sitting next to her were Lysette and George stealing coy looks at one another when they thought she wasn't paying attention. The DA had given them the option to leave before Jackson arrived but they both elected to stay. They wanted to see this all the way to the end and Liz felt a certain level of pride. Not because they were good people but because her, Bosco, Davis, and Sully had treated them in a way that made them want to stay. They were more than witnesses; they were allies.

Liz pushed her chair back as she walked over to the window. Closing her eyes she said a silent prayer that things wouldn't fall through after they had come so far. The door swung open and she couldn't help but to smile. Sully and Davis ushered a rather annoyed looking Jackson into the room. His eyes scanned the faces scowling when he landed on George. Seeing this Liz moved to stand behind her two allies in silent support. Jackson smirked at her before rolling his eyes.

"Officer Jackson. Are you aware of why you are here today?" The DA peered at him over her glasses, hand poised to scribble something on her legal pad.

Sitting down Jackson ran a hand through his hair trying to appear as non chalant as possible. "I'm really not sure ma'am." He plastered a quizzical look on his face that made Liz want to smash it off the table.

She sighed loudly as she shook her head. "We have reason to believe that you may be at fault in the death of a fellow officer...Faith Yokas?"

Jackson shrugged his shoulders. "I can't imagine how that would be..."

"You can't?" She looked down at her pad before gesturing toward Sully and Davis. "Your fellow officers are in possession of a video tape that clearly shows your cruiser pushing Officer Yokas into the path of the truck..." She nodded at Lysette and George, "as well as two witnesses that have offered very compelling testimony." Liz felt her palms sweating as she leaned back against the wall for support.

Jackson cast a menacing glance over his shoulder before tuning back to the DA with a look of disbelief. "Ma'am you can't take the word of a prostitute and a truck driver...I'm sure Officer Sullivan...and Davis," he pointed at Liz not remembering her last name, "And her...put those words in their mouths. You know...a way to get out of taking a charge." Liz watched Lysette slump into her chair, and she heard George swallow hard. The DA stared at Jackson. "If we could just go into your chambers ma'am I can explain the video too...it was all a big accident. That's it. I mean..." He looked around the room as he shrugged his shoulders in mock defeat. "I still feel so so terrible about the whole thing."

Sully, Liz, and Davis stared at each other in shock as the DA wrote something down before looking back up. "So you're saying these witness are lying and you can explain everything...that Officer Yokas died as the result of an accident."

Jackson offered a sad smile as he shook his head slowly. "Yes ma'am. It was an accident and I can explain everything..."

The door swug open and before Jackson could finish a blur of black flew across the room landing on the table with a clap and a cloud of dust. "Explain that you, prick." Bosco pointed at the table as he stared at Jackson with burning rage in his eyes. Liz wanted to jump, she wanted to scream, she wanted to kiss Bosco so much it hurt but instead she let her head rest against the wall as a small smile came to her lips. Jackson visibly recoiled as he stared at Bosco , mouth agape. Bosco's eyes never left Jackson as he began to talk. "On September 11th this piece of trash was sitting in the car with me. I can't ever call him a partner because he killed mine. On the worst day in the history of this country he saw an opportunity to kill another cop. The cop he was supposed to be backing up...Me. He waited and waited and then when he saw his opportunity he took it." Jackson looked green as Bosco continued. Pointing at his vest still covered in white dust on the table, "The slug in that vest will match the gun on his hip." Pulling his uniform shirt out of his pants Bosco lifted it up to show the still purple discoloration of his chest. Leaning onto the table he lowered his voice. "You tried to kill me twice but you know what? I'm still here." Pushing back off the table Bosco made eye contact with the DA for the first time. "He killed my partner, ma'am, Faith Yokas." Bosco looked back at Jackson as he shook his head sadly. "He killed her because she went to back him up and she saw him kill a dealer. So he killed her before she could go to IAB." Sully and Davis could only stare as Liz smiled and nodded although Bosco couldn't see her. Bosco closed his eyes for a moment as he made a digusted sound. "She died because of that. She was so so special...she was a wife and mother and...and she was my partner."

Jackson opened his mouth to speak but before he could get a word out Sully leaned against his chair pushing him hard into the table. Bosco reached into his back pocket and produce two white pieces of paper. Jackson felt dizzy when he saw the familiar green lines. Looking down Bosco began to read aloud.

"NYPD Memo Book of Officer Faith Yokas Badge number 1141

-February 24, 2001

At 2145 hours while on patrol I was dispatched to 25672 Lexington Ave. for a domestic disturbance. When I arrived I saw another RMP outside the building but central verified no other pending calls. I entered the building and heard yelling on the second divison. I found an open apartment door and observed a black male kneeling on the floor with two actors holding him there at gun point. The black male attempted to get up and he was knocked back to the ground. At that time I was able to identify the actors in question as Officer Brian Jackson and Officer Scott Geidel. A roll of cash fell the from victims clothing and Officer Jackson became angry. They exchanged words and without any threat made toward him, Officer Jackson shot the black male in the head killing him.

-Time and date stamped 2300 hours February 24, 2001 by

SGT. Jason Christopher"

Bosco stopped talking and handed the papers to the DA. The room was silent; Jackson stared down at his hands knowing this was finally it. He told Bosco he woud never have proof but he did...someway, somehow he found it.

Taking her glasses off her face, the DA sat back in her chair for a moment before speaking. "Mr. Ramirez...Ms. Jones could you please step out for a moment?" The two witnesses got up and left, George smirking on the way out the door. When the door shut again Jackson finally found his voice.

"I want a PBA rep and an attorney." Bosco stood straight up not taking his eyes off the DA. He was done with Jackson.

"Officer...I can't even call you that...Mr. Jackson. You're going to need a lot more than that. I...I can't in good conscious let you go today as you are an apparent threat. So I'm swearing out a warrant for your immediate arrest." Jackson felt sick. He was finally nailed and no amount of coy smiles, charming looks, or convienient explanations would make this go away. "You will be held at Rykers until further notice."

Bosco felt every muscle in his body relax for the first time in eight months. It was over...it was finally over. Walking around to the other side of the table Bosco stood behind Jackson as Sully pulled his chair back for him reaching down to remove his weapon from the holster. "Stand up." Reluctantly Jackson stood up putting his hands behind his back. Bosco took a deep breath as he reached past his own cuffs and into his side pocket. Pulling out a shiny silver set he stared at them for a moment. Faith's cuffs. He had been carrying them since the night she died hoping to use them for this moment while never actually believing it would happen. He tried to memorize every detail as he slid them onto that bastard's wrists and clicked them shut. On his shoulder Faith's red, white, and blue NYPD pin. _Partners always have each other's back_.

Raising his eyes he met Liz's gaze and smiled slightly. She looked at him and in that moment he knew what it felt like to be loved. She did all this and she never even knew Faith. She did it for him, risking her own life and expecting nothing in return. Sully patted him on the back. He was the luckiest guy in the whole world.

Bosco's RMP was parked in front of the court house as the three of them escorted Jackson down the front stairs. They were all quiet as the sun shone bright; a few streets over the machinery of Ground Zero could be heard whining and grunting. Bosco opened the back door and Jackson turned around as his lips parted about to say something. Not giving him the chance, Bosco shoved him into the back of the car without a word. Behind him Sully and Davis stood with their hands on their hips. Extending his hand Sully took Bosco's and shook it warmly pulling him into a casual hug.

"Faith would have been proud." Bosco could only nod as he felt the back of his throat tighten.

"Thanks guys...I couldn't have done it without you."

Ty shook his head "We did it together, Bosco." Looking over his shoulder he saw Liz standing a few feet behind them. "You have a good partner now. None of us would be here right now if not for her." Bosco nodded.

"I know." Pushing past them he stood in front of her with a slight smile on his face. He wanted her so much right now he didn't care who was watching. Reaching out he grabbed her arm and pulled her into this chest. Liz felt a wave of warmth come over her as he held her close. She had missed him so much.

"I missed you." His words were just above a whisper but she heard them.

"I missed you." Bosco felt his chest tighten as he exhaled loudly.

"I'm not always real good at talking about things..." He trailed off as she pushed her back so that he could look into her eyes. Touching her face softely his voice was raw with emotion. "But I promise to get better at it for you. I love you." She stared at him for a moment.

"I love you too" Gesturing toward the RMP, "Now go finish this for Faith."

Letting go of her Bosco nodded. The car was quiet except for the radio squawking on the dash. "You ready for a snack?" Davis produced Jackson's chips and soda as Suly shrugged his shoulders.

"I am pretty hungry." From the backseat Jackson scowled at them as Bosco guided the RMP into traffic.

"This was a pretty great day," Davis offered Sully a chip. A smile came to Sully's face as he watched the car disappear around the corner.

"Enjoy it...days like this don't come often."

* * *

Bosco glanced in the mirror as the car started onto the Ryker's Island Bridge. He had been waiting for this moment for a long time. In the backseat Jackson was quiet as he stared out the window.

"You know I wasn't always like this. I was a good cop once." Bosco didn't say a word as he kept his eyes straight forward. "Being a cop is all I ever wanted to be. Even when I was a kid. Somewhere along the way though...I just lost it." Bosco looked at him for a moment before averting his gaze again. He wasn't sure if this was some sort of repentence or just another attempt at manipulation. The front gates to the prison clicked shut as the car parked in the sally port. "Bosco...think about what you're about to do to me here...You know better than anyone what happens to cops in there." Bosco cut the engine as he paused for a moment. Jackson feeling like he had struck a nerve continued. "Come on man, you know no matter what at the end of the day you and me...we're the same." Bosco's eyes flicked in the rear view mirror taking in Jackson's pleading expression. "We're both cops. And I know you can never turn your back on another cop."

Bosco pushed the door open as he stepped out. He was done. Dragging Jackson out of the back seat he pushed him inside. The guard at the sign in desk looked up from his paper disinterested. "Yes?"

"Brian Jackson...murder in the first degree." The guard let his paper drift to the table as he looked stunned. Jackson finally looked like he might come apart. Bosco stood straight up and proud. This was one of the most satisfying moments of his life. The guard stood up and took Jackson by the cuffs to the processing room as Bosco leaned against the wall. Normally after signing someone in you can leave but Bosco had one more thing he wanted to do.

Twenty minutes later Jackson emerged from processing wearing rubber shoes and an orange suit. Unlike Bosco he had the benefit of not parading past the holding cell in his uniform. That's ok, though, Bosco was sure at least one person would recognize him in there. He was pale and his normally slick blonde hair was tussled. Pushing off the wall Bosco grabbed Jackson by the cuffs from the guard. "I'll put him in." The guard nodded.

The hallway to the holding cell echoed with loud voices as Jackson's shoes squealed on the floor. "Bosco...Please." It felt so good to hear him beg.

"Shut up." The holding cell came into view and if this wasn't such a happy occasion Bosco might have a had a flash back. Taking out Faith's hand cuff key Bosco unlocked Jackson as he hit the button to open the door. The bars slid open as the two men stared at each other for a long moment. "Get in." Not having any other option Jackson obliged. Bosco exhaled loudly as the door clanged shut making the most beautiful noise he had ever heard. Jackson stood on the other side staring helplessly back at him. Leaning in close this his face Bosco's voice came out low and deadly. "Oh and just so you know...we are nothing alike. You were never a cop." Jackson was silent as he watched Bosco leave.

Walking out of Ryker's his eyes caught a familiar scowling face near the door. The guard who treated him so poorly peered over a book. Winking Bosco offered him a wide smile as he walked out of that place a free man in every sense of the word.

**One more Chapter !**

**Lyrics are from Dashboard Confessional's "Vindicated"**


	30. The Finish Line

**"Last Exit to Brooklyn"**

**Author** :carmen_085

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any Third Watch characters. I do own all original characters appearing in this story

**Author's Note:** This story has been ongoing for over eight years. I realize I lost a lot of dedicated readers along the way because they simply lost interest and honestly so did I several times. My life has changed numerous times over the course of this story but something always kept pulling me back. Thank you to those who came and went or stuck around. Thank you for all the reviews and kind words.

**Chapter 30**

' _I thought I knew it all_

_I've been through the highs, said all my goodbyes_

_Learned to run before I learned to crawl'_

A fine mist fell over the park as Bosco leaned back and inhaled deeply. It was only early October but the leaves had already begun to fall. The rain against the freshly fallen leaves made the best smell in the whole world; natural...earthy, it was something you didn't smell much in a place like New York. Everyday Bosco was trying to take time to appreciate the things he used to take for granted. Shaking his head he let out a wry laugh only he could hear; so many things he always thought would never end, people he thought would always be here, places he thought he could always go. It all changed in the blink of an eye and now he reminded himself every day that he was one of the lucky ones; lucky to still have the person he loved most, lucky to have a second chance, but most of all lucky to just be alive.

The school bell rang and Bosco's eyes snapped open. Standing up he took a few hesitant steps toward the door as he crossed his arms over his chest. He hadn't really thought about what he was going to say and now he was worried how it might all sound. Kids poured out onto the sidewalk as he crossed his arms over his chest and then thought better of it and put them back at his sides. He was still in uniform as he had worked a day shift; it was great to be back on the streets and back to some kind of normal. Having Liz as his partner made it even better. Just as he knew they made a great team and it was so much fun working with her. It had become optional to work down at the pile but they were still going almost everyday in the evenings or at night. They would never stop until they found Callahan; they just couldn't turn their back and leave him down there.

A small smile came to lips. The days after the eleventh were complete and total shit and he remembered almost nothing in particular as they blurred together in a mess of complete despair. Except for one very surprising moment that he never saw coming. A couple of days after the eleventh he went by Faith's place hoping to catch Emily and Charlie coming home from school without Fred around. He knew he should respect Fred's wishes and stay the hell away but he had to let them know he was ok. That he was still there and would always be there for them if they needed anything. He had taken a couple hours away from the pile, really his only break in those first ten days, and went uptown. Sitting on the front stoop in the late afternoon sun he was sure that he was quite the sight covered in dust with an unshaven face and red rimmed eyes. No...he knew he was sight because when Fred pulled his truck up and the kids jumped out into his arms he just stood there and stared. Emily broke down into the tears which made Bosco's chest tighten and eyes mist over. For the life of him he just couldn't figure out why they didn't hate him. He was the reason their mother was dead and yet they still loved him like before.

After assuring both Emily and Charlie that he was all right and that he wasn't going anywhere, Fred stepped up and ushered them inside. The door clicked shut and Fred and Bosco were left standing on the street. Bosco looked down at the ground; he didn't have the strength physically or emotionally to start a fight right now. Fred took a deep breath in and Bosco closed his eyes waiting for the hurtful words...the yelling and screaming.

' _They were worried about you. Worried you might not have made it."_ Bosco remembered feeling so guilty. He should have called them that day. But then Fred started talking again. _"I told them you were fine. That you were tough and smart and would do anything to survive."_ Bosco couldn't believe his ears; a compliment from Fred. There had to be a hitch though, something hurtful or awful still on the way. _"I'm glad you're ok. If something had happened to you too...I don't think they could have handled that."_ Bosco finally met Fred's eyes just to make sure he wasn't imagining this. _"When they see you they see their mother and I...I don't want them to lose that."_ Bosco didn't know what to do. He knew that everything Fred said was true but he just couldn't believe that he was saying it. Turning on his heel Fred began walking toward the door as he threw over his shoulder. _"Take care of yourself, Bosco."_ After the metal door clanged shut Bosco blinked and then he breathed not realized that he had been holding his breath that whole time. His boots scraped along the pavement as he trudged back to the RMP that day wondered what in the hell had just happened. He thought about it the rest of the day and eventually he came to conclusion that he didn't really care. Maybe the eleventh had put things in perspective for all of them or maybe Fred had finally found a way to put aside his own feelings and think about his kids.

"Uncle Bosco!" Emily's voice caused Bosco to snap out his trance and smile. Emily had turned twelve over the summer and was already growing up too fast. Everyday she got herself and Charlie home from school and locked the door until Fred got off of work. Bosco knew this because when he could he would wait for them after school and walk the two blocks back to their apartment, only leaving when he heard both locks click shut. ' _Just be there...stand in my place the best that you can and never let them forget how much I loved them.'_ Faith's last words to him. He would always find a way to be there; no matter what.

"Hey guys." They started walking toward home, expecting this to be a normal day but Bosco had other plans. Gesturing toward his mustang across the street, Bosco raised his eye brows. "You guys want ice cream?" Did they want ice cream...what kind of question was that? Eagerly they jumped in the back seat as Bosco got behind the wheel. It had been almost two weeks since he locked Brian Jackson away like the animal that he was. A few days ago he called Fred and told him everything. The line was silent for a while and when Fred finally spoke his voice sounded strange and far away. _"Faith always told me I could never understand what the two of you had..."_ Out of all the things he expected him to say that was probably the last. He sucked a breath in wanting to ask so many questions but the older man cut him off before he could find the nerve. _"I'll let you tell them."_ And that was it. So for the last few days he wracked his brain for a way to tell two kids that a crooked cop killed their mom.

"Where we going Uncle B?" Bosco's flicked to the rear view mirror but instead of seeing Charlie he saw Emily alone. The car was dark and cold as he watched her tiny breaths crystallize in the night air. Blinking a few times he looked back at the road before taking a deep breath. That was the night Faith died and the night Emily saved him from killing himself. The memory of that little girl sitting all alone in his back seat will forever be etched in his memory. Looking into the mirror again he saw two smiling faces looking at him expectantly.

"How...how about that place over in Columbus Circle?" They both nodded eagerly as he drove through midtown traffic. Thirty minutes later Bosco straddled a cement bench as Emily and Charlie threw their backpacks on the ground. Sitting down next to him they licked their cones staring up at the towering skyscrapers.

"Hey Uncle B...you think we're safe here?" Charlie licked his ice cream cone as his eyes remained transfixed on the buildings high above. Bosco was preoccupied with the monumental news he was about to tell them and didn't pick up on the nuances of the situation.

"Yeah...we're..." Before he could finish he looked up and saw them both staring up. Charlie spoke up before he could finish.

"How do you know a plane won't hit these buildings too?" Bosco felt his stomach turn into knots as his arms and legs suddenly felt weak. How the fuck do you answer that? Swallowing he looked at their faces and instead of seeing fear he saw quiet contemplation. They weren't afraid...they had become resigned that something so terrible...so inconceivable was not only possible it was probable. It happened once it would happen again. Ice cream ran down the side of Bosco's hand as he stared at them. This was the new world.

"Your ice cream's melting." Emily pointed at his hand as she giggled. Bosco smiled at her as he breathed out. The new world...where two kids who never did a single thing wrong got their mother and their innocence taken from them in the same year. What he said didn't need to be pretty; it just needed to be said from the heart.

The rain had stopped as long rays of late autumn sunlight peeked through the buildings. The sky was illuminated orange and yellow against the dark clouds. Leaves fell off the trees and swirled around as a sudden breeze blew Emily's hair around her face. Bosco stared at them as he was suddenly taken by how perfect this moment was. So perfect that it shouldn't be for him. Before he could think he opened his mouth, "I'm sorry it's me sitting here and not your mom." After he said it he immediately regretted it although they seemed unfazed. Charlie didn't seem to hear him although Emily turned to stare at him for a moment before continuing to lick her cone.

"A lot of kids don't have a mom anymore." She said it like they were talking about the weather; so plain and ordinary like it was a well known fact. Bosco swallowed hard; what could he say about that?

"I...uh...I'm just sorry. I wish I could give her back to you." Bosco threw his cone into the trash suddenly feeling sick. They were silent for a moment before he started talking again. "Guys...I brought you here today because I need to talk to you about your mom."

"What about her?" Emily looked at him pensively as if Bosco was going to tell her something awful that she never knew. Something that would destroy any good memories she had of her mother. Seeing this fear in the young girl's face, Bosco was quick to put a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

"It's nothing bad. I promise." She relaxed slightly as Charlie looked at him quizzically. He needed to be careful here. He wasn't sure that it was a good idea to tell them that Jackson was a cop. God forbid they ever needed a cop and were too afraid to ask. He would always be there but until he got there he would want someone to help them. Choosing his words carefully he began, "Guys...I want you to know that what happened to your mom wasn't an accident. Our car...it was pushed out in front of that truck by another car." They looked at him confused and scared.

"Is someone going to come hurt us then?" Charlie's words were honest but terrifying. A child of seven years old worried about someone coming to hurt him and a plane flying into a building. Christ...how do you fix that? Exhaling loudly, Bosco rubbed his temples. Licking his lips he swung his leg over the concrete bench and gestured for them to come closer. Both of Faith's kids needed no further prodding as they felt just as safe with Bosco as they did their own parents. Charlie sat down in his lap as Emily scooted closer leaning against him. They relaxed a little; whatever Bosco had to tell them seemed less scary like this.

"No one is going to hurt you, I promise." Wrapping his arms around them both he started hoping it would all make sense when he was done. "Your mom saw a bad person do something very bad. He was afraid that she might tell someone what happened so he tried to hurt her to scare her so she wouldn't say anything. But...uh...things went too far and she went to heaven." Bosco's breath hitched in his throat as his voice sounded raw. "I...I wanted to forget all about your mommy. It hurt so much I just didn't even want to think about it. But a really good person wouldn't let me forget. And she found more people who wanted to help and together we put that bad person who hurt your mommy in jail." Looking at them seriously his voice as low, "And if it's the last thing I do...I will make sure he stays there for the rest of his life." They were both quiet not really knowing how to process what they just heard.

Swallowing hard Emily was first to speak. "Bosco?" Bosco left his eyes drift shut for moment as he breathed out.

"Yeah honey?" Opening his eyes he was met with Emily's unflinching stare.

"Promise that you'll never leave us too." Bringing his hand up he ran it through her hair as a sad smile came to his lips.

"I promise. I'll always be here." Hugging them close he muttered under his breath. "I promise."

* * *

Liz sat down the bucket and bent backwards. Her back ached from being bent over digging. They had been down here for almost a month now. At first it had been all day every day now they were permitted to come only when they had time. They had long passed the point of no return for survivors as it had turned into a recovery effort. Because of this the city brought specialized recovery experts in from all over the country to take over. So instead of working sixteen hours down there they worked the street for eight and the pile for eight. And it was beginning to catch up with her. It would be so easy to walk away and say that they had done enough. No one would ever say a word because her and Bosco had done more than their share of work down there. But they just couldn't. No matter how tired they were, they couldn't leave until they found him.

Swallowing hard Liz pushed the shovel into the ground. They were just finding pieces of people now...some of them not even discernable with the naked eye. Would that be all they found of Callahan? She exhaled loudly; they would be lucky if they found that. She heard some of the recovery people talking last night and they thought maybe almost half of the people would never be found. Burned to ashes in the fires that raged that day and continued to burn deep under her feet. Lifting a shovel full into the bucket she blinked her burning eyes. The would find him and he would come home.

"You want to get out of here early tonight?" Behind her Bosco came up dropping his bucket pulling the mask up to his forehead. Stopping she leaned on the shovel as she exhaled deeply. It felt like cheating to leave early; like they were being selfish. Almost a month had gone by, though, and it was becoming clear that things were only going to get worse. So as much as it made her feel like a shitty person she had to draw the line somewhere.

"Yeah.." Looking down at her watch she shook her head. It was almost ten. "Let's go." Liz turned over her shovel and bucket as she slapped her clothes and a cloud of gray dust came off. Bosco watch her walk tiredly through the check points. He was sure she wanted to go home but first there was something he needed to do.

"Hey..." She turned to look at him as she smiled slightly. Just being with him was enough to make her happy. "You want to go for a walk?" She looked at him silently for a moment before slowly nodding her head. She wanted to go to bed but a walk sounded nice...it sounded normal. Unfortunately her and Bosco hadn't had much time to be normal; first it was Brooklyn, then it was Faith, and now it was the eleventh. There was never just Bosco and Liz.

"Sure." Quietly Bosco took her hand as he led her away from the harsh white lights and the groaning machinery. They walked in silence just enjoying being next to each other until they came to the Hudson River walk. A small promenade jutted out into the water as they walked next to each other, the cool night air blowing Liz's hair around her face. Sitting down on a wooden bench, Bosco pulled her in next to him as he wrapped his arm around her. They sat in the darkness, the trees surrounding them blocking the lights from the city. Across the river was Jersey as Bosco's eyes wandered down the river to the Statue of Liberty that glowed against the inky sky. Liz leaned into him as she rested her head in the crook of his neck. Bosco breathed out and he leaned his cheek against her forehead.

"I've really missed you." Her eyes fluttered open as she she smiled at the sincerity in his voice.

"I've missed you too." She found his other hand and looped her fingers through.

Bosco exhaled loudly as he swallowed hard, "I...fell in love with you..." He paused a moment his breath hitching in his throat. Did he just say that? 'I love you' is one thing but 'I'm in love with you' is quite another. Liz felt her heart thump in her chest as her stomach did somersaults. Bosco licked his lips. He said it alright and he didn't even think about it. "...because I could tell you anything. You made me feel...safe. To just be me." She felt tears come to her eyes. "But there's something I've been keeping from you and I want you to know." Liz pushed away from him as she felt fear run down her spine. Looking at him in the eyes her face contorted with worry.

"What is it?" Her heart thumped again but this time for a different reason.

Bosco was quick to ally her fears as he shook his head, "No...No it's not like that." Holding his arms open, "Come here." Reluctantly she settled back into his arms as he held her close to him. He was happy that she couldn't see his face right now as he blinked his eyes a few times before taking a deep breath. "I told you everything that happened to me on the eleventh except for one thing." Liz felt her heart fill with trepidation wondering silently what could have possibly happened. Finding his hand again she interlaced her fingers with his.

"Bosco...whatever it is I promise we will deal with it together." In his whole life Bosco didn't think that anyone ever said those words to him. Every problem he ever faced was his problem. Each time he thought he knew all the reasons why he loved her she surprised him with just one more.

There was no good way to say this and no words that would make it sound better. "When I got down here that day I called you...remember?" Liz nodded her head. She remembered alright...there was no forgetting that.

"Of course."

Bosco shook his head, he couldn't believe he was about to tell her this. He had never spoken of it once until now. "When I got down here I called you and I was standing there on street looking up at the building...just watching it burn. I mean fuck...I couldn't even believe what I was seeing. I think I looked away like ten times and then back again just to make sure I wasn't imagining it." He looked up as he bit down on his lower lip. Just get it out...tell her. She deserves to know why you haven't been yourself lately. "Ok...I was looking up at the building and it was burning and that thick, black smoke was pouring out of this huge hole. The phone was ringing in my ear and I caught the sight of something orange and khaki hanging out near that charred black mess. I thought it was like a curtain or something, you know? But it was so clean and everything else wasn't..." Liz felt her arms and legs tingling with adrenaline as her heart thumped. She was sick...she already knew where this was going. "I keep looking and I saw other colors up there too. And then I realized...they were people." Letting go of her he sat forward rubbing his forehead. "But I didn't realize that until the guy in the orange shirt and khaki pants let go. I heard your voice say hello but nothing registered." His voice wavered as he closed his eyes seeing that man tumbling end over end through the clear blue sky. "I watched him, Liz. He flipped end over end over end coming right at me faster and faster." Liz looked away; she could see it in her mind although she was sure that was nothing compared to seeing it in real life. Bosco eyes were closed as he was lost in that moment almost one month ago. "And when he got close I heard him yelling. I knew it was him too...everyone was yelling but this was something different. A growl...some kind of primal scream before man knew how to use words... I don't know but it sounded more like an animal than a person." A chill ran up her spine. "And then BAM!" He smacked his hands together causing her to jump.

Bosco turned to look at her. In the meager lighting she could see the tears on his cheeks. When he spoke again his voice was raw and wavered up and down. "And I can't unsee it no matter what I do." Looking away he swiped at his face with the back of his hand. "And I don't know what to do with it...and I'm scared to death that I might lose everything good in my life because.." he choked back a sob as he felt everything inside of him crumble and flow out. "Because all I can see is orange and khaki falling through the sky."

Liz stared at him; her arms crossed over her chest as the hard wood of the bench dug into her back. Her hair blew around her face as tears gathered in her eyes. Bosco met her stare as she looked back unflinchingly. The tears spilled over her cheeks as she swiped them away. She didn't touch him...she didn't make a move and a panic began to build inside of him that maybe this was it. This was the one thing that crossed the line, that changed them beyond repair...that ruined everything. He was finally a lost cause; changed into a person she couldn't love anymore.

"I'm sorry." She uncrossed her arms as she leaned forward. Gently she wiped his cheeks as she held his face in her hands. "I'm sorry you felt like you had to carry that all by yourself." Bosco opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. "I don't know what to do with it either, Bosco, but I promise to stay right here beside you while we figure it out together. I'm here. I'll always be here. We're partners." She breathed a ragged breath in as she smiled at him. "And I love you."

Bosco looked down before reaching up and taking her hands into his. He stared at her there in the darkness for a moment. And in that moment a strange thought struck him. He couldn't imagine his life without her in it. Every possible version of the future he imagined for himself included her. He knew, deep down inside of him, that he wanted to make her his forever. "I love you too." Squeezing her hands his lips spread into a smile. "And I...uh..." He laughed a little as he shook his head. "I want you to marry me." Liz smiled as she shook her head.

"What?" She looked at Bosco in disbelief.

"I said I want you to marry me. Not right now...but I want you, Liz. I want you to be mine forever."

She laughed as a wide smile appeared on her face. Bosco hadn't planned this and he had no ring; his only intention in bringing her here was to tell her what he had been hiding. But the way she looked at him...it made him think of only one thing. That he wanted this woman to be with him forever. Life was too short. If he learned one thing on the eleventh it was that when you feel something wonderful don't keep it a secret. Don't worry about the right words or the right time. Just tell them...tell them before you don't get the chance to.

"Yes." He wanted to jumped up and down just hearing those words. She squeezed his hands turning serious for a moment. "I can't imagine spending my life without you either."

* * *

**Three Weeks Later**

Liz looked at the score board and then back toward the batter's box. It was a few minutes past midnight on November first; the first time in history that major league baseball was being played in November. The crowd around her buzzed with excitement. She didn't think it was possible but someway..somehow life had found a way to return to normal. As it turned out both her and Bosco were big Yankee fans so when they found these tickets; Game Four of the World Series it seemed like a miracle. The announcer's voice boomed over the PA system "Now batting for the Yankees number two, Derek Jeter, number two."

"Jeter is without a doubt one of the best to ever play the game." Liz had been chatting excitedly about Jeter all day hoping that they would see one of his magical post season plays. Bosco rolled his eyes as he playfully elbowed her.

"Are you actually watching what he's doing or are you just watching him?"

She laughed as she shrugged her shoulders, "I can see what's he's doing when I look at him." They laughed just enjoying the moment. Looping her arm through Bosco's they rose to their feet with everyone else as the count ran to 1-2.

"Let's Go ! Come on Jeter!" Bosco yelled out as the crowd noise around them became almost deafening. Liz bounced up and down as she leaned against him for support. The pitch...and it was a ball. The crowd groaned as a few sat back down. Jeter walked out of the batter's box for moment, looked at his bat, and then walked back in. The emotional significance of this moment was not lost on anyone. Bottom of the ninth, pinch hitting Jeter at the plate. The prodigal son of New York with the hopes of a whole city on his shoulders. At no time in history were people so desperate for a win... for something good to happen...to feel normal again. The pitch...another ball. Liz groaned loudly as she sat back down in her seat with everyone else. Jeter backed out of the batter's box and stared at his bat in front of him before looking beyond the grand stand and into the black Bronx sky. In far center field a great big American flag flapped gently in the cool night air.

Liz almost didn't want to watch; the count was full. Bosco grabbed a hold of her hand without realizing he was doing it. The pitch...a swing and a loud crack. Everyone jumped to their feet as the cement floor rumbled. Jumping up and down Liz watched as the ball sailed into the right field seats. The crowd erupted in jubilation as Bosco pulled her in and kissed her. The guy in front of them threw an entire tub of popcorn in the air as it rained down like confetti. On the field Jeter rounded third as he ran into the mob waiting for him at home plate. They hadn't won the series, only tied it up, but history was made that night. And for a little while, one man was able to create just enough magic to make everyone forget all that was wrong.

Bosco and Liz walked through the endless cement maze. The atmosphere was contagious that night as they slapped high fives to countless strangers. Holding hands they bumped against each other. "Best game ever ! EVER!" Liz was excited and she was happy and Bosco loved seeing her that way. He also loved that for a couple hours they didn't think about anything else but watching baseball.

"I know. I can't believe that...I thought they were done." A young kid ran past them yelling Jeter over and over. "Ah..." He looked around. "I don't want to leave. This is great just being...you know...normal." Liz smiled and nodded as they came out of the gates and onto the street. A guy held a sign that said 'Mr. November' with Jeter's face on it.

They were quiet as they walked toward the subway both relishing in the euphoria of the moment. Bosco let go of her hand as he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. He didn't recognize the number as he shook his head. Liz walked ahead a few steps not really paying attention until she heard him say hello.

"What?" Bosco plugged one ear as he closed his eyes. "Ok...ok. We'll be there." Liz turned around and when she met his eyes she already knew. People streamed all around them as she stared at him shaking her head. "They found Callahan...they're waiting for us to come down and carry him out."

Alone in a crowd took on a new meaning. All she could hear was joyous whoops and cheers but it meant nothing anymore as their brief moment of jubilation quickly evaporated back to reality.

* * *

Liz swallowed hard as she walked through the last checkpoint into the pile. She was still wearing her Yankee sweatshirt and it was strange juxtaposition. Evidence of such a great moment that literally just happened against a back drop of pure hell. They were given a hard hat as they followed one of the recovery people down a well worn path. All activity at the site had ceased once they found him. As Liz rounded the corner she saw a line of people and a basket with an American flag draped over top. She swallowed hard as she breathed out. Bosco and the recovery guy kept walking but she just stood there staring with her cold hands pulled up into the sleeves of her sweatshirt as a terrifying thought came over her. What if when she went over there and picked that basket up there as nothing in it. Just a little piece of him ripped up, shredded, burnt. She felt the air suck out of her lungs as she bent over. Pinching her eyes shut she willed herself not to cry but it was no use. She felt someone touch her back and she didn't need to open her eyes to know that it was Bosco.

"You don't have to..." It was quiet and she realized that everyone was waiting on her.

Straightening herself up she didn't bother to wipe her face. "Yeah I do." Slowly they walked together to the basket. A few of Callahan's buddies from Brooklyn stood on the other side. Liz bent over and put her hand on the metal rim. He had brought her home a million times over and now it was her turn to finally bring him home. Together they lifted and began to walk. Liz didn't think about how heavy it was or wasn't...all she focused on was Bosco's shoulders in front of her. She put one foot in front of the other and strangely enough a sense of contentment came over her. Maybe it was Callahan letting her know he was ok, wherever he was, or maybe it was because the last one who was left down there was finally coming home. _'We don't leave our people behind'_ ; it was true on that day and it would always be true.

* * *

The sun shone brightly as he stood at the relay exchange. Never in a million years did he ever imagine himself doing anything like a marathon but when he started running in Brooklyn he never really stopped. Because of the circumstances neither one of them had time to prepare much so instead of running the whole thing they decided to split it and run as a team.

A team...the best team, and he couldn't wait to make that happen forever. Liz was a surprise in every way. He never thought he would have met the love of his life on the same night that he was locked up in Riker's. He never thought that the worst day of his life would eventually lead to the best. The way he loved her; it was something he didn't know existed until now. Leaning against the railing he stared at the passing runners. All these people in the world and somehow he managed to find the right one and in the most unlikely circumstances in the darkest moment of his life. It was destiny and there was no other explanation.

Through the crowd he saw a woman running towards him. She had dark brown hair, bright blue eyes, and an easy smile and suddenly he wondered why such a pretty girl was coming towards him. Taking the bib off her shirt she pinned it to his as she looked up lost in his eyes. "I'll be waiting for you at the end." Bosco kissed her slowly caught up in the moment. "I love you."

He pulled away from her as his legs started moving. "I've always loved you. I just didn't know it until the day when I met a pretty girl at Riker's."

She smiled as he began to run. Settling into a rhythmic pace Bosco's mind began to wander. Nine months ago he walked into a factory and beat the shit out of his mother's boyfriend. That started it all; had he not done that would any of this have happened? He was suspended and Faith had to ride alone and when he wasn't there to protect her she saw something awful. And before he could stop it; she was gone forever. And he was thrown into the deepest, blackest hole he had ever know. So dark and so deep, in fact, he almost killed himself but just in the nick of time Faith found a way to save him. And he lived...he went on breathing one moment to the next no matter how much it hurt. He stumbled, he fell, he swore he couldn't make it one more step but something inside of him kept pushing him forward.

Bosco's feet pounded the pavement as he moved side to side. People cheered and yelled but he didn't hear anything. And then just when he thought things couldn't get any worse they took him to Riker's. He really thought that was the end of the line; that they would kill him there. He closed his eyes and he could see orange jumpsuits all over him. He blinked and when he closed his eyes again he saw darkness and felt a despair so profound. When he laid on the floor of that cell he wished that he had gone through with it and killed himself. He wanted to be dead because anything in the whole world would have been better than that. But as they say; the night is darkest just before the dawn. How the worst moment of his life translated into the very best he would never know. But he did hang on and someone sure did change his life in every possible way.

They were friends almost immediately and partners not long after. They took on dangerous people and lost and won and lost and won. They made mistakes; she got beat twice because of him and he would never be able to forgive himself for that. But they also did things right too and he learned that if you respect people you can get farther than you ever imagined. They took down a drug dealer and a cop and somewhere along the way they fell in love.

He kept running not realizing how many miles had gone by until he saw the sign that said 25 miles. One mile left to go. He knew in his heart that their love story had been written in the stars from the day they were born. So many moments where things could have gone wrong, where they could have missed each other, where they could have been torn apart. But everything...every moment happened just right. The butterfly effect; weeks earlier, miles away a butterly flaps it wings and eventually that miniscule disturbance causes a tornado. Was that the moment he walked into that factory ? Had that seemingly insignificant action caused a cascade that ultimately changed his entire life? Was 9/11...the Trade Center... was that the end product...the uniting moment... of a million insignificant moments, a cascade running through thousands of lives; his included.

All the knew was that he found strength he never knew he had, he found love he never knew existed, and a sense of purpose and gratitude for the life he had been given. As he neared the finish line he saw Liz standing next to Sully and Davis as they clapped enthusiatically. Bosco slowed his pace as his eyes wandered behind them. In the crowd he saw a familiar face staring at him, smiling. A tall man with dark hair and light blue eyes; he smiled at Bosco and shook his head as he clapped. He wasn't torn apart, or burnt, or crushed beyong recognition. He was just the way Bosco remembered him and would always remember him. He blinked and when he looked again a woman stood next him; her strawberry blonde hair blew around her face as her light green eyes smiled back at him with love. She wasn't bloodied and broken laying naked on a stretcher. She was just the way Bosco remembered her and would always remember her. He blinked again and when he looked back they were gone.

Bosco looked up at the banner above him. _'The Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave' ._ Crossing under that banner Bosco had finally reached the finish line.

**The END**

**Lyrics are from Train's "The Finish Line"**


	31. The Story Behind 'The Last Exit to Brooklyn'

**The Story Behind "Last Exit to Brooklyn"**

On 9/11/01 I was sixteen years old and I thought I knew everything when I actually knew nothing. My grandmother had died earlier that year and I couldn't imagine anything worse than that, until September. I didn't know anyone who died that day and I wasn't in New York but like everyone else my age I was throughly blindsided by the harsh reality of the world. As of this moment I have lived more years after 9/11 than I did before and it's becoming more and more difficult to remember what the world was like before that day. Afterwards I began to turn over in my mind a story of one person's life before, during, and after that moment. A year later I started watching "Third Watch" at the beginning of season 4. I'll admit it, I saw the promo and Bosco looked hot as hell. From the first episode I was hooked and I still watch them to this day. I discovered fan fiction a few months later as I was already familiar with the genre from the plethora of Geocities sites dedicated to 'N Sync. I read some really good stories and I wanted to bring that idea I had of someone'e life on 9/11 into a real story. It seemed perfect and it fit but it took me quite a few years to find the right idea and make it happen.

I have been writing this story for eight years. My life has changed several times and I have matured as I think you can tell as the story goes on. Some minor things contradict themselves, I have gone back and reread most of the story and realized this after the fact. I'm sorry; I honestly forgot a lot over the last eight years. I didn't plan this story and just kept imaging as it went on, sometimes as I was in the process of writing. I can honestly say there wasn't one idea I was excited about that didn't get put in here. It just kept going and going and going. I realize I lost a lot of readers along the way since I drug this out so long. Sometimes it was hard to write, sometimes it was easy...but it was always there and I could always count on it.

I don't live in New York but I have been there enough that I wanted to bring a sense of realness to this by translating actual places I've been into the background of this story. Most of the streets and places I've used are accurate and the descriptions I've used are from my own memory.

I've loved writing this story, being inside of, living it, feeling it, and bringing to anyone who cared to read. After Chapter Twenty I didn't update for almost a year and I really thought I was just going to delete it. But I looked at the stats and I saw that people were still reading and I wondered if someone had lost themself in this story the way that I had in so many others. Forgotten about all the shit in their life and pretended, even for a little while, that they were somebody else living in a perfect world found only in fiction. Thank you to all those who read and reviewed; it meant the world to know what someone thought. I wish I could find all the people who read in the beginning and let them know it's finally done!

.. **.Now for the sequel**

- **Two years after 9/11 Bosco and Liz struggle with health issues and emotional trauma in a world so changed they barely know their place. But when Fred suddenly dies of heart attack; Faith's children have no where to go. Can Bosco and Liz keep their own demons at bay and give Emily and Charlie the home they deserve?**

**Last Exit to Brooklyn Original Characters**

- **Bosco, Faith, Ty, Sully, Bobby, Kim** : All of these characters are season 2 in appearance

- **Brian Jackson** : Oh yes, good old Jackson. Honestly the only image I ever had of Jackson was Sgt. Jason Christopher on Third Watch- played by actor Brad Beyer. He just fit the description- big, blonde, narrow eyes.

- **Scott Geidel** : Named after my strange upstairs neighbor when I began this story. The image I had here was "Robert Barone"- the cop brother on Everybody Loves Raymond played by actor Brad Garrett. He was supposed to be a little older than Jackson

- **Michael "Mickey" Sanchez:** Sorry girls and boys the only image I ever had here was Manny Perez who played "Manny" on Third Watch. One of the best guys around on the series I hated to make him an asshole but he played a great villain in "Pride and Glory" and he was what I saw when I wrote Mickey.

- **Barksdale:** I borrowed this one from "The Wire". Here I saw Wood Harris as a drug kingpin of Brooklyn.

- **Lt. Callahan:** This was Aiden Quinn exactly the way he looked when he moved in the 55 at Lt. Miller and made Cruz his bitch. Maybe a little nicer, a little more understanding than the original but he was the only image I ever had for Callahan.

**-Lysette Jones** : I can't put her to a famous actor. I saw a young hispanic girl, tall, thin, with thick curly hair and brown eyes.

**-George Ramirez:** I would imagine someone here that looked like Jay Hernandez

- **Undercover Officer Liz Jensen:** I didn't image Liz as anyone famous because most every famous woman is very beautiful and perfect; at least on paper. Liz is ordinary in appearance- she is "every woman" and I tried to write this so that each person reading could feel like they were her, could be her, or knew someone just like her. If you want to picture what I saw when I wrote Liz; think of a woman who is athletic and functionally strong. She is a little shorter than Bosco with chestnut brown hair, blue eyes, and an easy smile. Her lips are too big, her nose is too small; nothing about her body makes men stop and stare. She is attractive but only because her personality draws people in.


End file.
